Scrooged | Tale of the Tape | Holiday Fav #622
After tissues go off topic, Scoots looks back into the fragmented memories he has of “Scrooged” starring Bill Murray. What the world needs now is more tissue talk and aloe.
Tale of the Tape
Facial Tissue History
Christmas Carol Adaptations / Theatre Productions
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Pillowing you softly, like an Ugee
Deep Dark Night United
Looking for Supporters
Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Sleep Whispers; Calm History
Wild Health; Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
If you’ve been stuffing stuffing all day
Puffed, for sure
Maybe we’ll talk about Puff plus tissues in a second
If these weren’t used tissues, this pile would look pretty comfortable
Every intro’s gonna be a little familiar and a little different
Coming close but never actually capturing the essence
The Modern Age of Tissues
Has 99PI done anything about lotion technology?
My nose started running in 1st grade and hasn’t stopped since
My nose stopped running when I started making the podcast
1980s tissues were like sandpaper
We didn’t have Quilted Northern or whatever tissues billionaires use
But nowadays there’s lotion in the tissues
The Tissue Barons
I use Trader Joe’s tissues for general sneezing
What about adding belt clips to your tissue boxes?
I don’t know what the aloe and Vitamen E are for – the redness?
Should I just use a hankie?
We’re talking tissues right now
What about tissue pillows for people with a down allergy?
I don’t what to know how they get lotion into tissues
Polystyrene PCP 43
I didn’t discover the power of Benadryl until I was an adult
I’d like to Plus your bedtime
Vitamin B for Bore
Go ahead feel that tissue in your fingertips
Another Tale of the Tape
I have the blinders on and I’m locked into my own world
I’ve seen it in the movie theatre a few times, but I don’t remember much
One of my favorite actors and one of my favorite comedic actresses
A multi-genre talent
Maybe this came out in 1991?
Was this the same year as Christmas Vacation
One scene I never forget, then I have to remember everything else
We’ll see if it’s aged like a fine wine
Was it Ron Perlman? Bill Pullman? Buster Poindexter?
BM is our Ebenezer Scrooge
Someone is smoking a cigar and it’s being lit somehow?
Man, what am I gonna call these spirits?
Some other Christmas Carol versions
George C Scott
The Jim Carrey one
Is Scrooge McDuck Ebenezer Scrooge in Mickey Christmas Carol?
Was that Scrooge McDuck’s first appearance?
Does Betamax-mas still exist on YouTube?
Has Patrick Stewart ever played Ebenezer Scrooge?
I can’t see it, but I can’t not see it, you know?
I’m sure Bugs Bunny must’ve done it at some point
Daffy Duck would be a perfect Scrooge
I’m not sure if I’ll make it to the Dickens Fair this year
But they do a street-mosphere performance every year
One year, we followed Scrooge around the street after he’d awoken
And Ebenezer came up and talked to us
Every year, ACT puts on a performance of Christmas Carol
Cable TV was ripe for parody or satire
BM is a cable TV exec
Presenting the Holiday TV slate to advertisers
Running a trailer for a Scrooge movie
It’s very gritty
Then they also run some trailers for other wild shows
Bill Murray is happy and no one else is
A very proficient assistant is holding his entire life together
She cares for him and he takes her for granted
Is she the Bob Cratchit? I don’t know
Are there multiple Cratchits in this movie?
The assistant is trying to get time off for her family
The movie will be simulcast around the world Live!
Someone with serious gravitas is playing Scrooge
It’s a lot of pressure for this to go well
There aren’t a lot of main movie characters named Ed
This is Must See TV before Must See TV
Bill Murray is very selfish and self-centered
I’m getting a Rip Torn signal directly to my brain
Is Rip Torn the Jacob Marley?
Rip Torn in a golf outfit
Rip Torn is so great, especially as a reformed bossy rich guy
This really played into my NYC fantasies
One day I’ll remember George C Scott’s name
Google “George C Scott Ebenezer Mutton Chops”
It would be a joy if Amy Brennerman was in this movie
She comes to ask for a financial donation
A community-service direct service organization
Does Bill Pullman play his brother?
BM can retain the audience even when he’s a curmudgeon
Is Bobcat Goldthwait in this?
Bobcat quits and threatens to shut down the TV production
There’s a tri-Cratchit in this movie
I guess Scrooge didn’t have a love interest, did he?
His brother is kind of the Nephew Fred
And then there’s of course Karen Allen
The Casper of Christmas Past is played by David Johansen / Buster Poindexter
A pretty standard journey to the past
Patriarchy: Can’t Beat It? Join It
Some blue collar embarrassment leads to some bootstrapping
He turns down the opportunity to be a beatnik with Karen Allen
He just really wants money to fill this emptiness in himself
He sees how close he was with his brother
He lives with a bunch of dogs or something
Back to the present
The show is not going well
Mary Lou Retton is playing Tiny Tim
John Haussman gets a cold
Carol Kane is a real highlight as Christmas Present
Maybe Bobcat lives with a bunch of dogs
Cut to assistant Grace and her family
Grace’s son is dealing with an issue a la Tiny Tim
She didn’t get a bonus, just a filofax, and she’s got to go back to work
Cut to his brother
His brother’s friends don’t like BM
Cut to Karen Allen
The impacts of not having enough direct service
BM demands they all be bootstrappers
Then Frank gets fired by Ted Turner
Then Bobcat and all the dogs come
At some point he reconnects with Bobcat
Then he meets the Casper of Christmas Future
Then he imagines the shelter being shut down, and the channel
I guess he’s good at playing this kind of character
Then they gather all the dogs to make everything right
There’s some sort of scheme that happens
Then he has a change of heart
He’s using all the royalties for Karen Allen’s shelter and helps Grace’s son and those dogs
Then he explains his journey
He acknowledges how bad he once was
Grace’s kid is so good
Frank’s family is watching and stunned
He makes up with Karen Allen
This is when BM is at his best
He should only be a fool for her
People are cracking up – maybe he’s improvising here?
Buster Poindexter and Carol Kane might be watching up from above
BM is doing super goofy stuff
It sounds like pretty light fare actually
Please tell me that Bill Murray is, in fact, in this
I like the imaginary insights into the TV business
TWITTER SHOUTOUT THANKS
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Episode: 1,221a / 622
Title: Scrooged | Tale of the Tape | Holiday Fav #622
Deep Dark Night United: Looking for Supporters
Plugs: Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Sleep Whispers; Calm History
Sponsors: Wild Health; Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
Twitter Shoutout Thanks: Stealing Sand; Marco V; Old Gray Rabbit; Matt B; Emily E; Julian: Jenna; Opta Prime; Help Breakfast; Stay Up 8; Sir773; Gwenny; Felix Prod, Jason; Shy; Melissa H, J, Conan, Beatle, Bald Move, Sally W, Kay High, Lizzie, Tracey, Jessica K, Chris K, Debono Dog Shelter, Abby, Jellysock, SpaceBod, Flavio, Victoria, Wookiee of the Year, Madison, Treg, Jillene, Abbie, Alexandria, Hanna, Feral, Boy oh Boy, Barbara K, Twerk, Henry W, Eric, Texas Beck, Allie G, Taylor, Chris D, Sam G, Babs, Bridget, Jessie, MC Escher, Iron, Half Speed, Carla, Liz P, Adam, Carla M, Yun, Marybeth, Christine, Peaches, Angie, Kathleen, Summer, Lizzy, Old Sallyanne, Chrystanthe, Mick, Roman, Lindal, Eli, The Keeper of the Crypt, Kyla, Cinnamon, Elliot
- Lotion Technology
- The Tissue Barons
- Tissue Shill
- Polystyrene PCP 43
- Vitamin B for Bore
- Tissue Complementary
- An almost archetypal story
- Pre-Rip Torn
- “Killing Me Softly” – The Fugees
- 99% Invisible
- Quilted Northern
- Trader Joe’s
- Scrooge McDuck
- Puffs Plus
- Bill Murray
- National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
- A Christmas Carol
- Ron Perlman
- Bill Pullman
- David Johannsen
- George C Scott
- Jim Carrey
- Mickey Mouse
- Looney Tunes
- Mr. Ed
- Rip Torn
- George RR Martin
- Andie McDowell
- Amy Brennerman
- Bobcat Goldthwait
- Alfre Woodard
- The New York Dolls
- Mary Lou Retton
- John Haussman
- Carol Kane
- “Put A Little Love In Your Heart”
Notable Talking Points:
- If you’ve been stuffing stuffing all day
- Puffed, for sure
- Maybe we’ll talk about Puff plus tissues in a second
- If these weren’t used tissues, this pile would look pretty comfortable
- Every intro’s gonna be a little familiar and a little different
- Coming close but never actually capturing the essence
- The Modern Age of Tissues
- Has 99PI done anything about lotion technology?
- My nose started running in 1st grade and hasn’t stopped since
- My nose stopped running when I started making the podcast
- 1980s tissues were like sandpaper
- We didn’t have Quilted Northern or whatever tissues billionaires use
- But nowadays there’s lotion in the tissues
- The Tissue Barons
- I use Trader Joe’s tissues for general sneezing
- What about adding belt clips to your tissue boxes?
- I don’t know what the aloe and Vitamen E are for – the redness?
- Should I just use a hankie?
- We’re talking tissues right now
- What about tissue pillows for people with a down allergy?
- I don’t what to know how they get lotion into tissues
- Polystyrene PCP 43
- I didn’t discover the power of Benadryl until I was an adult
- I’d like to Plus your bedtime
- Vitamin B for Bore
- Go ahead feel that tissue in your fingertips
- Another Tale of the Tape
- I have the blinders on and I’m locked into my own world
- I’ve seen it in the movie theatre a few times, but I don’t remember much
- One of my favorite actors and one of my favorite comedic actresses
- A multi-genre talent
- Maybe this came out in 1991?
- Was this the same year as Christmas Vacation
- One scene I never forget, then I have to remember everything else
- We’ll see if it’s aged like a fine wine
- Was it Ron Perlman? Bill Pullman? Buster Poindexter?
- BM is our Ebenezer Scrooge
- Someone is smoking a cigar and it’s being lit somehow?
- Man, what am I gonna call these spirits?
- Some other Christmas Carol versions
- George C Scott
- The Jim Carrey one
- Is Scrooge McDuck Ebenezer Scrooge in Mickey Christmas Carol?
- Was that Scrooge McDuck’s first appearance?
- Does Betamax-mas still exist on YouTube?
- Has Patrick Stewart ever played Ebenezer Scrooge?
- I can’t see it, but I can’t not see it, you know?
- I’m sure Bugs Bunny must’ve done it at some point
- Daffy Duck would be a perfect Scrooge
- I’m not sure if I’ll make it to the Dickens Fair this year
- But they do a street-mosphere performance every year
- One year, we followed Scrooge around the street after he’d awoken
- And Ebenezer came up and talked to us
- Every year, ACT puts on a performance of Christmas Carol
- Cable TV was ripe for parody or satire
- BM is a cable TV exec
- Presenting the Holiday TV slate to advertisers
- Running a trailer for a Scrooge movie
- It’s very gritty
- Then they also run some trailers for other wild shows
- Bill Murray is happy and no one else is
- A very proficient assistant is holding his entire life together
- She cares for him and he takes her for granted
- Is she the Bob Cratchit? I don’t know
- Are there multiple Cratchits in this movie?
- The assistant is trying to get time off for her family
- The movie will be simulcast around the world Live!
- Someone with serious gravitas is playing Scrooge
- It’s a lot of pressure for this to go well
- There aren’t a lot of main movie characters named Ed
- This is Must See TV before Must See TV
- Bill Murray is very selfish and self-centered
- I’m getting a Rip Torn signal directly to my brain
- Is Rip Torn the Jacob Marley?
- Rip Torn in a golf outfit
- Rip Torn is so great, especially as a reformed bossy rich guy
- This really played into my NYC fantasies
- One day I’ll remember George C Scott’s name
- Google “George C Scott Ebenezer Mutton Chops”
- It would be a joy if Amy Brennerman was in this movie
- She comes to ask for a financial donation
- A community-service direct service organization
- Does Bill Pullman play his brother?
- BM can retain the audience even when he’s a curmudgeon
- Is Bobcat Goldthwait in this?
- Bobcat quits and threatens to shut down the TV production
- There’s a tri-Cratchit in this movie
- I guess Scrooge didn’t have a love interest, did he?
- His brother is kind of the Nephew Fred
- And then there’s of course Karen Allen
- The Casper of Christmas Past is played by David Johansen / Buster Poindexter
- A pretty standard journey to the past
- Patriarchy: Can’t Beat It? Join It
- Some blue collar embarrassment leads to some bootstrapping
- He turns down the opportunity to be a beatnik with Karen Allen
- He just really wants money to fill this emptiness in himself
- He sees how close he was with his brother
- He lives with a bunch of dogs or something
- Back to the present
- The show is not going well
- Mary Lou Retton is playing Tiny Tim
- John Haussman gets a cold
- Carol Kane is a real highlight as Christmas Present
- Maybe Bobcat lives with a bunch of dogs
- Cut to assistant Grace and her family
- Grace’s son is dealing with an issue a la Tiny Tim
- She didn’t get a bonus, just a filofax, and she’s got to go back to work
- Cut to his brother
- His brother’s friends don’t like BM
- Cut to Karen Allen
- The impacts of not having enough direct service
- BM demands they all be bootstrappers
- Then Frank gets fired by Ted Turner
- Then Bobcat and all the dogs come
- At some point he reconnects with Bobcat
- Then he meets the Casper of Christmas Future
- Then he imagines the shelter being shut down, and the channel
- I guess he’s good at playing this kind of character
- Then they gather all the dogs to make everything right
- There’s some sort of scheme that happens
- Then he has a change of heart
- He’s using all the royalties for Karen Allen’s shelter and helps Grace’s son and those dogs
- Then he explains his journey
- He acknowledges how bad he once was
- Grace’s kid is so good
- Frank’s family is watching and stunned
- He makes up with Karen Allen
- This is when BM is at his best
- He should only be a fool for her
- People are cracking up – maybe he’s improvising here?
- Buster Poindexter and Carol Kane might be watching up from above
- BM is doing super goofy stuff
- It sounds like pretty light fare actually
- Please tell me that Bill Murray is, in fact, in this
- I like the imaginary insights into the TV business
1,221a – Scrooged | Tale of the Tape | Holiday Fav #622
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for me to think…try to think of something on the fly, and that’s why this podcast exists, is to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. Normally it’s by silly stuff if I can think of something other than Silly String, but as soon as that pops in my head, you know…so, yeah, this podcast exists because you deserve a good night’s sleep. Your sleep is important. It’s a little bit different…no, it’s a lot different than most other sleep solutions and anything out there. But give it a few tries. See how it goes, 'cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that may or may not be able to say the word…starts may or may not with a B, and maybe the podcast that puts you to sleep.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do…all you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, stuff on your mind, making stuffing, too much stuffing, if you’re stuffing stuff…you’ve been stuffing stuff all day. Whatever it is that’s keeping you…whoa boy, that was loud. Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that.
What I’m gonna do is try to create a safe place that’s stuffed but not overstuffed. Puffed, for sure. Speaking of puff, maybe we could talk about Puff Plus in a minute, 'cause when…I was thinking about tissues when I started talking about stuffing stuff. I don't know if…but a garbage can full of tissues, it kinda looks like…if they weren’t used tissues, you’d say, that looks kinda comfortable, but the price…anyway, so if you’re new, I’m gonna try to keep you company, take your mind off of stuff while you fall asleep. A couple things about the show; structure…we start off with around six minutes of business. That’s to keep the show free. Thanks for your patience. Then we have an intro which we’ve just begun.
Usually they’re around twelve minutes or so, and…where I’ll ramble on and take some turns and stuff like that, and twist…confusing…where I’ll be confused by the twist and turns. You’ll say, well, it doesn’t…what am I confused about? Oh, the intro. So, it’s a twelve-minute intro. Some people skip it. The timestamps are in the show notes if you want to get right to the story. But a lot of people use it either to wind down or to fall asleep to, where you say, well, it’s…every intro is a little bit familiar but a little bit different. We know Scoots is gonna try to explain the podcast and he’s gonna come close to capturing the essence of it, but mostly he’ll get distracted by stuff like tissues. So, that’s the intro, then we’ll have a story for about forty-five minutes and about five minutes of thank-yous at the end.
So, that’s the structure, and I’ll be here the whole time, so that’s a other thing. You don’t have to worry about falling asleep. I’m gonna be here to keep you company. You drift off when you need to or when you want to or when I…if I put you at ease. Or if you just woke up, I’m hear to help. Or if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here the whole time giving it my all to keep you company, to be your bore-friend. That’s when I say I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m sending it right to you 'cause I’ve been there lying in the deep, dark night, waiting to be on the receiving end to say, hey, it’s alright. I’ve been there, too. I know what it feels like and this is how I’d like to help, by going through something serious to talking about tissues, eventually. But yeah, I’m here to keep you company. No pressure to fall asleep.
Also no pressure to listen. I’m your bore-friend, and our friendship is so good that I can talk and you can kind of say, hm, okay, I wonder what he’s gonna talk about…about these tissues. Why don’t you get to that, Scoots? Okay, I’m gonna talk about the modern age of tissues. At some point in the last twenty years, they figured out a way to put lotion into tissues or onto it, and I don't know anything about the technology. Maybe that’s…has 99% Invisible done anything about tissues? I gotta look into that. Every time…then I think of something…I say, oh, there’s great…Dead Letter Office? Great episode of…you say, oh, there’s a great 99% Invisible episode about that. So…okay, so that’s something I was thinking of, was tissues. I got right off the topic.
Okay, so, I was thinking about tissues in a trash can, and let’s just put aside…let’s just pretend for some reason we’re a Billionaire and we’re crumbling up tissues, especially…so, I’m a person…and I’ve talked about this on the podcast; my nose started running in first grade and it didn’t stop until I think…it doesn’t run all the time now, but literally when I was in grammar school and even in high school, my nose was running most of the time. If only I knew I should just start being…I think my nose stopped running when I started the podcast. But so, my nose was running a lot and back then in the eighties, tissues were like sandpaper, especially if you had tissues at school. Or, usually I just used TP from my house, and we had six kids, so it’s not like we had frickin’ Quilted Northern or whatever the heck these Billionaires are using.
But it’s just…but I would go through a lot of tissues 'cause my nose was always running. So, my nose would always be kinda chapped and red. I don't know if anybody else has this thing called self…gets a little self…I got a little self-conscious. But nowadays they put this lotion…and again, I think there are…and I’m not even being facetious; I think there’s a couple tissue barons and that’s it. But the store brands have them. I don't know who makes those tissues for the store brands, but even nowadays the store brand usually has lotion. I don't know if Trader Joe’s does. I don't buy my…I prefer a tissue with lotion, and I have bought tissues at Trader Joe’s but then I said, well, these don’t have lotion, so I’ll just use these for general sneezing or for politeness.
You know, you have tissue…you say, hey, you need a tissue? I got some tissues in the car here. I got a tissue right here. Has anyone invented…? I mean, I know they have those little pocket packs of tissues. Those I could never manage to get out without just ripping the whole bag open. But one of those square boxes…it’d be hard…but some sort of easy way to distribute tissues from a utility belt or a belt clip. Our tissue box comes with a belt clip. Any tissue barons, what do you think about adding belt clips to your tissue boxes? ‘Cause holy cow, that would be great. What the world needs now is more tissues. How about that for a marketing campaign? We’re all crying, believe me. But the offer of…you say, hey, here’s a tissue; dry your ears…wipe your…this one has lotion in it and some have aloe or Vitamin E.
I don't know what those do, but you do get…when your nose gets red, you say, this stinks. The tissues…I don't know if it’s a marketing thing. Maybe I’m just a fool. I mean, let’s be honest. If I was getting paid, you could call me a tissue shill. There are hankies now. So, I respect everybody that says, well, just use a handkerchief or a hanky. I say, okay, well, this…we’re talking tissues right now, 'cause I was picturing a bunch of puffy tissues and imagining a world…like, if I worked for Scrooge McDuck and Scrooge was out of town, I’d say, well, let me get some of those lotion tissues, fill a pillow up with tissues…how come they…? There’s a thing; you got people that have a down allergy — what about tissue pillows? Hotels, think about that. But I guess I…I don't know, I’m just really…I guess I’m a late adopter.
It did take me a while to say, how much for those tissues? No, I don't care. Puff Plus? No, it’s not a plus to me. But eventually I think the…once the patent ran out or whatever, when you could get the generic version, I feel like the…or maybe all tissues…most tissues have lotion or some sort of thing. It is a bit mysterious 'cause you say, well, this tissue’s paper, how’s it…how’d it get lotiony all over? I’m sure the…I don't want to know the science behind it, ‘cause they’d say, well, that’s Polystyrene PCP-47G, not…proven not to be generally not to be totally harmful, but generally assumed. It’s a great…well, it does have a half-life. Oh, also, it shouldn’t be exposed to air, but it does allow us to get the whole tissue covered in the lotion, Polystyrene XBQ-4774ZQ. That was in whatever frickin’…Allocation Bill 47-BCCC51.
But it is nice. When you have a cold, you’re not feeling so hot, and…I didn’t really discover the power of Benadryl until…as an adult. I don't know when the last time I heard NPR during the flu season was, but that’s what I heard a couple years ago. On NPR they said…this one doctor…and maybe it was not a full…again, don’t take any medical advice from me. But if I could give my own interpretation…they said, take a hot bath, drink a lot of liquids, take some Benadryl, and get some puffy…get some tissues that have some lotion, and take it easy. I think that’s great advice. This podcast is a bit like that; just take it easy. I guess I try to be the lotion…a holistic lotion…if you’ve been rubbed raw by bedtime, I’d like to make it feel more…I’d like to make it plus…I’d like to plus your bedtime just a tiny bit.
I’ll give you a little Vitamin B for bore and help you fall off to dreamland, hopefully. Now, if you’re new…if you’re skeptical, bravo. Why wouldn’t you be? It totally…this podcast is not within the normal range of even abnormalcy. So, I appreciate you trying it. Give it a few tries. That’s what most listeners say; took a few tries ‘til I said, well, this doesn’t make any sense. I finally realized that. But I hope I can help you get distracted enough. You say, man, those…go ahead, rub your…if you have a tissue at the ready, go ahead and feel it. Feel it in your fingertips. Rub it on your inner arm or something. Maybe give your back a little rub with one of those tissues. Maybe I could be a tissue complimentary, 'cause I really hope and I really yearn and I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks for coming by.
Alright, hey everybody, we’re gonna be talking about Tale of the Tape tonight, another holiday Tale of the Tape in our holiday movie Tale of the Tape series. I don't know if this movie…well, I guess I don't know, 'cause I barely pay attention most of the…I’m too caught up. I’m locked into my own world and…I have the blinders on and I’m locked in my own world. But this was a movie I actually have seen in the movie theatre probably at least once, maybe twice or three times, and where it comes back out again. But it’s a movie…I really don’t remember too much about it other than it stars one of my favorite actors and it probably has…it has one of my favorite comedic actresses who I’ve talked about on the show before. Other than that, I probably forgot everything else.
Somebody multi-genre talent…I’m trying to think of the other people in the movie. It’s a movie starring Bill Murray called Scrooged, and it took place in the eighties. Once upon a time…okay, now I’m remembering why I couldn’t remember one of the characters. It’s, of course, a retelling of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and it was always…I think there was a couple of creative moments. I think…I don't know what…when it…it came out in the eighties, maybe the nineties. Maybe it came out in ‘90, ‘91, but I’m not sure about that. It may have come out the same year as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, but I’m not positive about that, either. But that would be a banger year for holiday films. I don't know, I guess there’s…the last couple years there’s been some comedies, holiday comedies.
So, I guess Deck the Halls…that’s pretty good news. But Scrooged is the tale of Bill Murray…let’s see. I’m trying to remember…there’s one scene that I never forget and then there’s…everything else I’m gonna try to remember. We say, Scoots, how is this the only scene you remember? You say, well, this is the kind of humor I like. But so, at some point we meet Bill Murray, who’s gonna be our main character, our Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m not sure of his name yet. Maybe I’ll remember it, but probably not. This might be a movie to check out and see how it has aged, if it’s aged like a fine wine or not. I want to say Bill Pullman, not Ron Perlman, though Buster Poindexter and Ron Perlman…maybe they…I don't know, they kinda remind me of each other a little bit. Okay, so, what happens in this movie?
Okay, so, it starts out…we meet Bill Murray who’s gonna be Ebenezer Scrooge. I think the cover…let’s see, the cover art…the poster art said Scrooged. I want to say someone smoking a cigar and it’s being lit by…I don't know. I’m picturing someone smoking something and Bill Murray…and then another head that shows one of the friends, the holiday friends…holiday…I don't know what we call them, the GHO…the bus…well, I’ll figure it out. I guess I’m not surprised 'cause this has been told…the tale as old as time. Let’s run through some other Scrooge movies while my brain hopefully remembers some stuff. So, we had…who was the person that played Patton? That’s my brother’s favorite Ebenezer Scrooge, and I don't know who that is. Then you had the motion-capture Jim Carrey one.
I haven’t seen that one but I’m sure it’s great. We have Mickey’s Christmas Carol; that stars Mickey Mouse. I think…I’m not sure who’s Scrooge in that. Is Scrooge McDuck Ebenezer Scrooge or is that too on the nose? Is is Donald? I don't know. Donald doesn’t speak in sentences, so I guess it was Mickey working for Ebenezer. Was that Scrooge McDuck’s first appearance? Scrooge McDuck is played by Ebenezer Scrooge. So, we had that one. There’s probably…I don't know…have you checked out…does Beta Maximus still exist, or…? I’m sure on YouTube…I share this every holiday season. Before I started the podcast, I think, someone came out with this web app or this website called Beta Maximus, which was kind of a fun way to consume YouTube videos from the eighties of holiday specials and commercials.
I guess now that would be something to look for on my You…on my Instagram or something, but…'cause it’s basically…I think most of the things are…that I look at on Instagram are…I don't…not important. But so, who else do we have? We have…who is that, C. Robert Riley? No. He played Patton and he’s got…he’s very powerful. I think there’s gotta be a couple more. Patrick Stewart? Did Patrick Stewart play…? I can’t see Patrick Stewart as Ebenezer Scrooge, but I also can’t not see it. I want to say that’s probably a 90% chance. I don't see him as Bob Cratchit. I would love…I guess that’s what I’ll be watching this holiday season, either in my brain or as…or maybe Patrick…I don't think Patrick Stewart was in…that would be a good…that’s another good cast, is looking to the Scrooge movie.
I think it’s the guy from Paper Chase, maybe. [Inaudible]…that’s…okay, so…okay, where was I? Oh, other movies about…what’s it called? A Christmas Carol. I remember the…yeah, I don't know the…did Bugs…? I’m sure Bugs Bunny did a version with…Daffy Duck would be a perfect Scrooge. So, that’s one. Yeah, I’m probably sure that…I’m pretty sure that some other…that probably on a sitcom that would be perfect, 'cause it’s a very…it’s almost a archetypal story. I wonder if there was any…if it stems from any…if…not Scrooge; Charles Dickens was inspired by any of…anything before that. If you make it to the Dickens Fair here in the Bay Area…I don't know if I’ll make it this year. This is, again, recorded ahead of time, but they do a Streetmosphere performance in different locations of A Christmas Carol.
I don't know if it was last year or the year before; I was with my daughter and we followed Scrooge after he had awoken. He was going and he was kinda making amends and thanking people and greeting people. He was going into shops and…I think Bob Cratchit saw us and then Ebenezer came up and talked to us. We said, yeah, we’re just following you around. You’re so full of Christmas cheer. We can’t help it. It’s infectious. He shook my hand and said hello to my daughter. It was very invigorating. So, that’s another performance. There’s probably a lot of plays. I know here in the Bay Area, the ACT Theatre puts on a performance of A Christmas Carol. Let’s see what else…what other things am I trying to remember? Oh, my mind went blank. There’s probably other reimaginings of it, too.
But right when the pressure comes down, my brain says, hm, I’m suddenly forgetful. Usually verbose, but I’m gonna be short on the details, Scoots. But this one goes…and I guess this was the nineties, so this was cable television and it was ripe for parody or satire. I don't know which one this was. But so, Bill Murray was a big TV executive at his…a cable network, I’m presuming. The first scene I remember that strikes me is the scene that was my favorite in the movie, which was Bill very excited about showing the spring or the twenty…the next year’s TV slate or the holiday TV slate to the other executives at the network or the advertisers or somebody. They run this trailer of…I think…actually, maybe it’s the trailer for Scrooge.
It just shows…it’s very gritty and it kinda shows…geez, people are down, people…it makes it into this epic. But it shows our current times which when they made this, it was very much like it is now, the Zeitgeist, the feeling. So, it kinda talks about people on edge, something, something, something…Scrooge. They also…I think they ran some trailers for some other shows that were really wild, too. At least, that’s my memory. I was like, holy cow, that’s…but maybe that was during the movie. But you could say it was a very dark vision and everyone…of course Bill Murray is very happy. Or maybe he…and no one else is. Bill Murray has this extremely proficient…proficient, is that the right word? His assistant that he works with…and she’s literally holding his whole life together and she cares for him deeply.
He takes her completely for granted. But I don't know, is she the Bob Cratchit? I don't think she is. I need to think about that. Who’s the Cratchit? Maybe we get multi Cratchits in this movie 'cause I think his assistant, she’s kinda working with him, trying to get time off. I think she has a husband and a son at home and she’s working very hard to give them the best life she can. So, she’s kinda stuck with Bill Murray, but she still cares for him. So, anyway, they do this screening of the trailer for Scrooged and then everybody’s like, what the heck, dude? That looks…I thought it was gonna be…maybe it was the owner of the network, Ted Turner or somebody. I don't know, that type of character. Like, what are you doing with my network? Then they kinda show that it’s gonna be simulcast, like around the world.
It’s this huge production, live…I don't even know, famous Olympians are in it and famous people who’s…who all…I forgot everyone. I think Scrooge is probably played by someone with some serious gravitas, but I don't know who. I think the dude from Paper Chase, whose name I forget. Maybe that’s who’s narrating it? I don't know. I think they have The Rockettes and some of the famous choruses, choruses from…Vienna Chorus, the Harlem Gospel Choir…I don't even know. They just have all these musical groups. So, it’s a really hyped-up thing. They’re like, geez, this production’s gotta go perfect. Then it slowly builds to like, well, geez, Eb…what’s his name? Ebenezer, so it’s definitely not that and it’s not -neezer or -nazar. Ed? I don't think it’s Ed. Not a lot of main characters in movies named Ed that I can think of.
Mr. Ed head is…had his own show. But so, whatever. They’re like, dude, you’re putting all this money into it, like high budget, high production value, high concept. Don’t mess it up. He’s trying to make this must-see TV before…this was before there was must-see TV, and that was comedy. So, also you see that he’s very…Bill Murray’s character is very selfish and self-centered and not…he doesn’t care. He says, this is my vision. Get it done. I don't care about anybody’s feelings or potential consequences. I’m the one…I’m the visionary. That’s basically it. Now, I’m getting a Rip Torn signal right into my brain. Rip Torn, R-I-P T-O-R-N, a famous actor, well-known beloved actor. Now I’m seeing Rip Torn in some sort of golf outfit, so…and again, I’m not positive about this, but I’m pretty sure…so, who is that? Jacob Marley.
So, at some point in the story Ebenezer makes everybody work late. He’s grouchy. This is still the 23rd or something, December 23rd. Then he gets a warning from Jacob Marley. So, in this case, it’s Rip Torn…I think is a golfer who’s moved onto the big golf course in the sky. I don't know why I picture…I just picture him in a golf sweater with a diamond pattern, pink pants, maybe on a golf cart, maybe golf balls falling out of his pockets and stuff, and probably a golf cap. But this could be from another movie like Beetlejuice or something. But I just saw that, so it might not be…but basically, Rip Torn says, dude…first he says, what am I? I’m stressed, right, or I drank too much. He says, don't worry about it, buddy. Rip Torn really is a great comedic actor, especially in these kinda…what do you call it?
Not exactly…I guess kinda like a bossy rich guy that’s changed. This kinda says, you don’t know…we were going after the wrong stuff and working too hard. He says, you gotta remember the finer things in life and quit messing around, and don’t…get your act together. I think they’re in his office. Again, for a kid…from Syracuse, New York, this also played on this idea of New York City is the center…I mean, I’m assuming that’s where it took place. It could have been in Chicago. It was either in New York or Chicago, 'cause it was in a urban center. But so, he has this glamorous life with this beautiful office and a bar and all this stuff…or his beautiful apartment; I don't know which one was which. But basically Rip Torn shows up to say, hey, you gotta change your ways or you’re gonna be sorry.
I think…I guess that’s…Jacob Marley was much more…less funny, I guess, even in the remakes. Jacob Marley was more like…or maybe not; maybe in the real story Jacob Marley’s hilarious. I don't remember. I almost said, see Everett Koop for the one star from the Patton, but I’ll think of their name. Oh, I almost had it again. George R. Martin; no, but I…George C. Shaw; no. It’s definitely George something. I know it’s not George Plimpton. George C. Riley; that’s what I said the first time. That’s the closest…George Scott, George C. Scott; I think that’s the name of the…my brother’s favorite Scrooge. So, there you go; trivia question. You want to see someone in good mutton chops, go look up George C. Scott and mutton chops, maybe. Maybe I’m wrong. But Bill Murray looks normal.
He’s just playing…but so, okay, so he’s talking to Rip Torn. Rip Torn says, get your act together, man. Take it or leave it. I’m gonna go off to the Hawaii in the sky or the back nine. Bill Murray does not take it seriously, and we kinda see some…probably some more scenes — I’m just assuming this — of excess and at some point in here either post-Rip Torn or pre-Rip Torn, he has…I don't know if he has a girlfriend or someone he’s dating, but I think he does, or someone that loved him once. I think someone that loved him once. That maybe comes…is that…is Amy Brennerman in this movie? I don't know. That would be a joy to remember. I want to say Andie McDowell, but she would have been in…already in…she was in Groundhog’s Day. Well, I think of who it is. I’ll think of it. I’ll think of it. She was in Indiana Jones.
That’s who his love interest is. But at this point I don't think they know each other, or they’ve fallen out of touch. Or maybe she comes and says, hey, could you loan some money? I work at this homeless shelter. I’m into doing stuff for other people. I want to say she works at a very community-based direct service organization from some of the…what I’m remembering, but I’m not positive about that. But anyway, he says, hit the road. Then his brother comes. His brother may be played by Bill Pullman. Or there’s another actor that reminds me a lot of…Karen…it’ll come to me; don't worry, Karen. I know you’re not worried, but…that’s the lead actress. Then either Bill Pullman or another actor that remind…when you say, well, that person reminds me of Bill Pullman when it’s in Scoots’ mixed-up brain.
But maybe…it’s either his brother or his nephew. He says, hey…he plays whoever…I guess his nephew or his brother. In A Christmas Carol, he says, hey, I’d love to have you with the family this year with our holiday cheer. He says, no, no, no, I got Scrooge live, man. There’s no one taking any holiday time off, and I’m not taking any time…he goes, plus, I don't need any…he goes, are you still…? I think his brother says, hey, listen, I’m gonna get married. I got great news…or some kind of great news. He says, I don't care, man. Relationships are overrated and I only care about success. I guess that’s kinda like…but it’s Bill Murray, so he’s able to retain the audience 'cause he just has an affable likability even when he’s playing a curmudgeon. Okay, so, let’s see, where was I?
So…oh, also, he probably…at some point he does decide — just like in all these movies — not to give out Christmas bonuses. He gives everyone some discount…that he said, hey, just buy everybody something…some other cheap gift that’s ridiculous. But so…okay, so, he’s met with Jacob Marley. I’m trying to think if there’s other stuff. Okay, oh…okay, Bobcat Goldthwait is in it, so I think…oh boy, is…so, this is where I get mixed up. Is Bobcat Goldthwait…so, you have Bobcat Goldthwait, his brother, and his secretary, who’s played…Alfie Woodard, I think, plays her, his secretary or his assistant. But so, let’s see…so, I think Bobcat Goldthwait quits and then he swears that he’s gonna maybe shut down the production of Scrooged, like…but he gets fired and he’s really devastated. But he was the voice of reason.
I guess…whose name am I trying…? Oh, Bob Cratchit. So, he is a little bit of a Cratchit, too. So, you have a tri-Cratchit in this situation. So, you have Bobcat’s character who’s an accountant, maybe…but says, hey, this is the Christmas…this goes against the Christmas spirit and also, you didn’t give us a bonus. I was counting on the bonus, so that really left me high and dry. Then you have…Grace, is that his secretary’s…assistant’s name, or is that…? Karen Allen’s name is…but anyway, so his assistant, she kind of still tries to deal with it and…Frank, is his name Frank? It’s all coming together now. Somebody’s name is Frank. I think he’s Frank. Yeah, so, he’s Frank. So, his secretary, she kind of does her best to deal with it and manage him and make the most of a bad situation.
She’s kinda giving him extra chances, but she also needs her job. But she cares about him, but she’s also…she kinda stands up to him and gets sick of him. Then we have…I guess Scrooge didn’t have a love interest, did he? Then we have his brother, who I guess is kinda like his brother’s nephew. He says, geez, we love you. We just want you to, whatever, come back to the good old days or something. Then Karen Allen, who plays…no, no, Grace…I don't know. I think he’s Frank. So, we’re making some headway here. So…okay, so, those are the people. Then at some point he meets the Casper of Christmas Past who is played by David Johansen, Buster Poindexter. Is that the same person or is that two different people? Is this thing on? I don't know. But so, that’s…he was a cab driver. I think what happens is he…something happens.
Maybe this is when he cancels the bonuses or he’s like…maybe he says everyone’s working on Christmas or whatever. But then he goes to leave work and he gets in a cab, but it’s…or maybe he’s asleep and he thinks he wakes up for work. But whatever, he gets in a cab and it’s…David Johansen’s driving the cab, New York Dolls. They start driving around and then they start to drive into the past. That’s pretty standard for a Scrooge remake, or A Christmas Carol remake. Like, you go back and kinda see the hard times when Frank was innocent and he was a good kid, but probably a little bit of blue-collar embarrassment, so he kinda has to bootstrap it. You know, typical American tale. The thing gets to a turning point where he turns away from his brother and then meets Karen Allen and then turns away.
She says, geez, we could…we just…we could be beatniks or whatever. This was the eighties, I guess, so…she’s like, yeah, we could just be thoughtful, caring people that don’t worry about money. He goes, well, I got this emptiness in me from being a kid that I think power and accomplishment’s gonna fill up, so forget it. Then she says, one last chance, probably. He says, no, no, no, not one last chance. Yeah, then we probably see some more stuff. Let’s see, the past…he probably sees how close he was with his brother, maybe…does he see other characters? Maybe it is…we see that Bobcat Goldthwait’s character was once…I think he lives with a bunch of dogs or he gets into the dog…he gets in the dog pound. But so, he sees all that and he says, oh, can’t we stay…? He gets to a nice place; he says, can’t we stay just a little longer?
I think that’s…and then they say, no, no, no, we gotta move on. Then, let’s see, is it…do they all…? They all come in one night, so he must be…it’s Christmas Eve. It’s the time of the show. Okay, so, maybe he left in the cab. I think he still gets some time left, so maybe he’s sleeping in his office? But they gotta be getting ready for the show. Meanwhile, stuff starts going wrong with that. Like, I don't know, Tiny Tim is played by Olympian Mary Lou Renner? Mary Lou Retton. Mary Lou Retton, I think? They say, well, she can’t go on. Then whoever…Houseman, John Houseman, that’s…gets a cold. Then whoever else, the big star…then the sets are falling apart. So, then he probably has to take another nap. Now, is it the present or the future that comes next?
I guess it’s the present, and that’s a highlight for me 'cause it’s Carol Kane and she’s very funny. She plays this kinda over-the-top friend. Very present…I think she’s on a high-wire, like floating. She’s trying to wake Frank up, so there’s a lot of that, and she kinda talks in her Carol Kaney…a little bit of a baby talk, aggressive baby talk voice. She kinda tries to show Frank the hard and cold of it. So, I think we probably see Bobcat Goldthwait with all the dogs, then we see Grace’s assistant with her family struggling. Her son plays a big part, so I think her son is…maybe she is Bob Cratchit, because her son kinda is dealing with an issue and kinda becomes the heart…Bill Murray’s character’s heart, I guess. Yeah.
So, we see her and her son and maybe they get some…probably to go in for a checkup, and the doctor says, well, this kid needs that Christmas bonus you were gonna get. She goes, alls I got was this Filofax or something. Then she gets called back into work. She probably says, oh geez, I gotta go back into work. Everybody’s like, I can’t believe it. Then we see his brother with his friends and his wife or his girlfriend or his fiance, and they’re all having a laugh at his brother, you know, at Frank. They say, geez…he goes, geez, I thought…I invited my brother for Christmas Eve. They say, thank goodness he didn’t come. That guy is the worst. He goes, well, you don’t really know my brother. Then his brother’s wife is like, well, I do, and he is the worst. Then we see probably Karen Allen’s character.
I think his assistant’s Grace. But so, then we see Karen Allen at work and the direct service and the impacts of not having good enough direct service, I think, and it causes a little bit of gratitude, but then maybe he goes a little cold again and says, well, I don't care about any of this stuff. He’s like, my brother made fun of me. These people need to be bootstrappers. Forget it. Okay, then what happens? That’s a good question. So, I think what happens after that is…the things he didn’t get…he gets fired. I think he starts…does he do something and he gets really mad…and then he gets fired by Ted Turner. Maybe there’s…and a consultant there, or is that in another movie? Like a smarmy guy who says, Frank, you’re…you’ve aged out. You’re not hip anymore. I am.
So, he gets fired, then he…then I think Bobcat Goldthwait and all the dogs come, or something. At some point he realizes…maybe not. That’s too early, but at some point he reconnects with Bobcat Goldthwait’s character. Or maybe not yet, 'cause then he goes and he meets our friend from the future, the Casper of Christmas Future, and that one’s…it always shows him at the end, alone. Nobody cares. He’s going to the big farm, but nobody cares. It probably shows the impact the Christmas bonuses could have had for Grace and her family and for Eliot…? Bobcat Goldthwait is like…that he could have paid for the…then it probably shows Karen’s…Allen’s character getting married to somebody else, and…or maybe the shelter she works at getting shut down and taken over by more cable news networks. I don't know.
There’s probably some more stuff where he says, geez, this is the life I lived. Bill Murray’s always got funny lines. I’m trying to think what other characters he’s played like this. I guess Groundhog Day. Like, what other movies…? I guess that’s pretty much…it’s a very similar character if not pretty close; cynical…I guess things change fast, but whatever. At this point after he sees the future, that’s maybe when he teams up with Bobcat Goldthwait and they say, okay, get all the dogs. I don't know why I keep picturing him with a ton of…like, thirty dogs. What they do is they try to make everything right. So, they go back on the air. Maybe they…I think they come up with a big scheme. What happened to everybody else that worked there? I don't know. That’s a good question.
But so, at some point they come up with some sort of big scheme. Maybe they do…John Houseman or Ted Turner…but they do a double-distraction so that…maybe Bobcat’s running around with all the dogs and they run through the movie and they…that throws the set off. What happens in the real one is just he wakes up and he says, God bless us, everyone, or he goes and hears Tiny Tim say that and he goes, you’re right, Tiny Tim. So, I think at another point he calls Grace and he says, bring your son down. I’m gonna announce on the air that I’m foregoing all the royalties and I’m giving all the money to the shelter that Karen Allen works at, and to help your son and to house all of Eliot’s dogs. I think he says…then he goes through his journey so everybody knows how to…he says, you know what?
I started this…I canceled all the Christmas bonuses and I’ve…I wasn’t nice to Eliot. I fired Eliot. My loyal assistant here, I overwork her and underpay her. You get cool reactions. That’s one of the other cool things, is…so, you see Grace’s mother…maybe her son’s there or maybe her son’s at home. But they say, yeah, mom, we’re so proud of you, and that guy is…and then you see everybody in the world is tuned into this. Then Frank’s brother and his wife are watching it and they’re like, what is your brother talk…? Has he lost his mind? At some point Eliot and the dogs are there, and then Karen Allen shows up on the set and he says, get over here. This is when it gets good, when…this is when Bill Murray’s at his best.
Then he probably does some jazz dancing with her and says, listen, I’ve been a fool and I really should only be a fool for you. Here’s a cheque for the charity you work for, and I hope you can…I can come down there and work with you tonight instead of doing all the rich stuff I was gonna do. He says, a life lived of trying to attain things…he goes, I think I was just covering up this little tiny hole inside, and I was able to see it…and maybe he even tells what really happened and everybody’s cracking up and they think that he’s improving. Maybe even they show Karen Allen and…not Karen Allen; I’m sorry. Carol Kane. Karen Allen is there with him and Buster Poindexter watching, David Johansen. They’re watching him and laughing at him and saying, oh dude, oh dear.
Then he lifts up Grace’s son on his shoulders just like he would Tiny Tim and he does really goofy stuff. Like, he points at the camera for the live stream and says, do-be-de-do, something like that. He starts singing The World Will Be A Better Place, I think, maybe? Or something, and then everybody’s singing and it’s really inspirational. Give it a helping hand…oh, Put A Little Love in Your Heart; that’s the song, and the world will be a better place. He’s singing it and then the camera pulls out, I think. I think that’s the whole movie. Yeah. So, it sounds like pretty light fare, actually, and maybe overly-dependent on eighties or nineties famous people to make some of the stuff work. I don't know, it’s funny that now they have that live telecast. Like, NBC does the live musical twice in a row, I think, not that long after the holiday season.
So, that’s still a tradition that’s going on. But I don't know, I always remember this movie just 'cause…well, I love Bill Murray. Is that…please tell me Bill Murray’s in this. I forgot Bobcat Goldthwait was in it. Again, I like anything that gave me a insight into imagining how the TV business was even if it was fake, and I don't know, I think it was a fun take. I don't know when the one…if there was…I guess 'cause all the other retakes of A Christmas Carol I had seen had been…were cartoons, probably, at that point. So, I really enjoyed it. Scrooged with Bill Murray; check it out this holiday season. Goodnight.
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(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)