995 – Decent Part 1 | Sleeping With TNG Bore Trek

Notable Language:

• Finally, Filene’s Fine Oils
• Flying Buttresses
• A Bevy of Boisterous Borg

Notable Culture:

• Tin Man from Wizard of Oz
• Filene’s Basement
• Star Wars
  •  

Notable Talking Points:

• A good situation for thimbles
• Can you describe feelings without referring to other feelings?
• A Sepia Version of California Coastal Hills

 

Episode 995 – Decent Part 1 | Sleeping With TNG Bore Trek

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people out there in…whether you’re in space or you have space or you say…you have a space in-between your first and second or third names, whatever it is, patrons, you keep my space extra-cozy ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do or alls you could do if you wish is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  You don’t even have to get in bed; you could get comfortable in wherever…wherever you are, get comfortable.  Or, you know what?  I’ve been…I know people listen to podcasts and they’re in smaller seats.  They call them coach seats.  But I’ve been in those ones.  You say okay, well, whatever…wherever you are…I forgot where I was.

 

Get in bed, turn out…you know, even if you’re not comfortable and the lights are turned…last night I had somebody…I had a different situation going, so I had a light in the hall that was out of my control.  So, whatever it is, I’d like…get in bed, turn out the lights, press…I’m gonna do the rest.  Alls you need to do…oh no, then I said that.  Get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play, or none of those.  What did I say after that?  This is how…this podcast is…it’s not a finely oiled machine.  It’s like a finely…here’s the thing with finely oiled machines; you stop oiling them, what do you got?  You got a machine soon not to be finely oiled, and that’s what just happened there.  Get in bed, turn out the lights, and press…I’m gonna do the rest.  What I prop…what I’m gonna do is send…is that what I say next?  No.

 

What I’m gonna do is try to create a safe place.  Well, I’ve never talked about finely oiled machines before, or thought about the fact that it’s a very tentative…poor finely oiled machines.  I mean, it’s great that you’re finely oiled.  What about a finally oiled machine?  How about some love for that?  It said finally, I’m oiled.  Like, the Tin Person was a bit like that.  I don’t know if they were a machine or just a sentient collection of tin.  But if they were a machine…some people say it was an autonomous…whatever, an auto…whatever that word is, autom…autonamaton?  I don’t know.  I can’t say it.  But it’d say finally, I’m an oiled machine.  But here’s the tangent I’m still stuck in; if you stop oiling a finely oiled machine…don’t do it, please.  If your machines are finely oiled, keep up the good work.

 

Or I’m sure engineers out there are saying Scooter, don’t you understand that’s a grade of oil; finely?  It’s a machine oiled with a oil that’s fine…a fine oil.  Oh boy, a fine…sign me up.  Where do I overpay for that?  This machine is oiled with the finest oils from around the world.  It’s a finely oiled machine.  What does it do?  Looks good.  What is this, a Sharper Image catalogue?  Did I call…did I accidentally call into a catalogue in the middle of an intro for a Star Trek TNG episode?  Oh, I didn’t even get the podcast started?  What I’m gonna…what I…what I’m gonna try to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake.  Sorry, new listeners.  Old, regular listeners, long-term listeners, that was a real treat.  Went off-topic twice.  Well, first off, I got mixed up.

 

I don’t even remember what initially mixed me up, and then I got…oh, trying to rhyme something, right?  Was that what happened?  Then that whole finely oiled machine came loose, came unglued.  My finely oiled machine came unglued.  It turned out the…whatever.  So, I’m gonna try to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts at this point, it could be feelings, anything emotionally coming up for you, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine.  Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that.  What I propose to do is…or what I’m gonna try to do is send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.  Oh, so creaky are my dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.

 

So, I’m gonna…as you’ve already seen, I’m gonna go off-topic and get mixed up and misuse words, then say wait a second, then indulge things that pop in my brain.  I mean really, this is the first time I’ve ever had…I mean, at least that I can remember, which is usually the third or fourth time, that I would have ever thought about the pressure of finely oiled machines…or just a underlying feeling.  You say well…I mean, especially if I owned it.  They’d say well, what am I gonna do when Scoots stops oiling me so finely?  Here’s the flip side of it; it could be a really relaxing thing.  You say well, no, I’m not fully retired.  I just finely oil…I…well, I got a route, drive around.  The job’s fine.  I oil machines.  Oh boy, do I finely oil them.  Then when I get there, they say finally.  I’m finally oiled.  Where do you get your oil?

 

Fileen’s…Fileen’s…formally known as Fileen’s Basement.  Now it’s Finally Fine Oils.  Fileen’s Fine…Finally…Finally You’re at Fileen’s Fine Oils.  Oh, sorry, I was doing a sleep podcast.  Oh, boy.  So, oh, here’s the thing; if you’re new, I’ll tell you all the information you need to know right now.  So, this podcast is very different.  You’ve already gotten kind of a couple earfuls of that.  Would you use a thimbleful…that was…this would be a good situation to have thimbles, ‘cause you’d say yeah, oh, just a thimbleful of oil.  It’s so fine, you know?  It has…it’s micro-oil.  What does that even mean?  Well, it’s in a thimble, so it’s a micro…it’s micro…we’re micro-dosing these machines.  Oh, wait, are you oiling micro-machines?  No, no, no.  Well, I could, but…so, if you’re new, this podcast is very different.

 

Obviously you may be skeptical, you may be doubtful, you may be like, what is going on here?  Even I am wondering that right now.  At the same time, I’m one of the few podcasters that could talk about this stuff in a pointless way for hours on end.  I mean, I could go back and redo the same…like, I still find it…I really think that’s what the machine would say; finally, where have you been?  I’m finally oiled.  I say are you finely oiled or finally oiled?  Finally I’m finely oiled.  Fileen’s.  That’s where I…you could get a shirt with a annual subscription to Finely Fileen’s.  You get a shirt.  It’s a shirt for machines, which is really just a kerchief that I wrote on.  Okay, so, this podcast is just not for everybody taste-wise, but a couple things to know; I mean, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  Clearly you could see my qualifications.

 

So, it’s a podcast you just kinda…humor me.  You don’t even need to humor; you just say uh-huh, oh boy, really, Scoots?  You could even do it that way.  You’re kidding me.  Uh-huh, uh-huh.  You just…just like a friend or a child, I guess, is what I…you’d say okay…you just…you’re just kind of listening to me.  You’re barely paying attention.  So, it’s a podcast you don’t really pay attention to.  Really doesn’t put you to sleep, either.  I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  I’m here to be your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your bore-sib, your bore-bruh, your bore-bestie, and keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff, and if you can’t sleep, if you can’t sleep at all, I’ll be here.  That’s why the shows are about an hour, so you have plenty of time to drift off.  You don’t have to worry.

 

But also if you can’t sleep, you say well, Scoots is gonna be here, yeah.  You could queue up episode after episode after episode if you need it, if you need me during the day.  I’m here.  I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  The reason I make this show?  Well, one, I’ve been there, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting…I mean, clearly.  You say well, this…if this is what’s going through your brain when you’re working…you say yeah, I dare to dream a little dream that I had a retirement where I finely oiled machines.  So, this…oh, yeah, you’re…I’ve been there.  That’s one of the reasons.  I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  But the other reason is you’re important and your sleep is important.

 

If I could distract you and keep you company while you drift off, it would literally…it would really be my honor because it’ll make your…if I can make your life a tiny bit better, this…that’s…really means a lot to me because I know how it feels on the other side.  [00:10:00] If your life’s better, our world is a better place.  Not everybody believes that but I do, so that’s why I make the show.  So, that’s that.  Oh, structure can also throw new listeners off or regular listeners.  The structure’s been the same for quite a few number of years and more or less since episode maybe 150, generally we got the structure down.  It starts with a greeting so you feel welcome and seen.  Then there’s listener support, then there’s support for the show so the show can be free.  Then there’s the intro.

 

The intro is around ten to twenty minutes long, where you just saw it; I go ahead, I try to talk about the podcast, and then I get distracted.  It’s a show within a show.  Some people think it’s the beginning of the show, but it’s also…like, our show really is…I mean, I would hope in some sense it’s beyond the time-space continuum because even though it’s the beginning of the show, it could be any part of the show ‘cause it’s really just here to keep you company while you get comfortable.  But the reason there’s a long intro is so that you can get eased into bedtime or you could get ready for bed, so the intro kinda creates a nice bit of time that you could set aside to use however you wish.  You could skip it.  2% to 3% of people do that.  You could be zooming off or drifting off right…there’s a percentage of people that do that.

 

But for most people, the intro eases you into bedtime or is something you listen to while you’re doing something else; relaxing or getting ready for bed or getting comfortable.  So, the new people kinda know oh, this podcast is different and I probably…you might not like it the first few times you listen to it.  The regular listeners go oh, there goes Scoots.  Went off-topic again, tried to start his podcast for the thousandth time, got distracted.  So, that’s the intro.  Then there’s business.  Again, that’s how we keep the podcast going and free.  Then there’s our bedtime story.  Tonight it’ll be a discussion of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Don’t worry if you’ve never seen it or you don’t…you say…it’ll be very chill and indirect and relaxing.  So, we’ll discuss that, and then there’s thank-yous.

 

So, that’s the structure of the show.  That’s why I make the show.  The only other piece of advice that comes up a lot is give the show a few tries ‘cause it just takes a couple tries to realize wait a second, it is just like he said; you don’t really listen to it and you don’t really fall asleep.  You just wake up the next day.  So, give it a few tries.  Now, if you already know, you say I just don’t…you know, if this podcast just isn’t for you, you already know; you have a taste in your mouth like eh, this isn’t for me, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has a list of other sleep podcasts.

 

‘Cause whether it works for you or not or whether you like me or the style of the show or not, your sleep is still important, so there’s other sleep podcasts out there for you.  But for now, give it a few tries and see how it goes.  If you’re like me and you’ve tried…you’ve had trouble your whole life, hopefully it can help you out.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I really hope and strive, and I really want to help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you twice a week for free.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here and we’re talking about Season 6, Episode 26, the season finale, Descent, or Descent Part 1.  We’ll run through a little bit of my notes, then we’ll run through the episode.  It starts off with a poker game on the…it looks like it’s in Data’s room actually, or Riker’s room.  I don’t know which…whose room it is, but I just noticed that.  I didn’t write that down.  But it’s Newton, Data…so, if you were Data, Newton would be on your right, Einstein would be on your left, and Stephen Hawking would be across the table from you, playing poker.  Stephen Hawking is owning the room.  He’s the funny one.  Data does droid-splain Newton, apocryphal…I said, are they playing Five-Card Draw?  It looks like it.  Simple arithmetic…Newton…so, you’re irascible or…something.  Irritable, maybe.

 

Illuminating.  How’s…oh, I also had a question; how’s Data’s visor stay on his head?  Four of a kind for Hawking.  He’s very happy.  Great smile, then there’s…an alert comes in.  End program.  The Enterprise crosses our screen from left to right.  We’re on the bridge with Picard and Riker.  There’s a ship??  Double question mark.  Worf, Data, you’re with me.  We get great sound effects and sky…and sky?  Will out past…I don’t know what that is.  Into out…oh, outpost.  Yeah, they’re going…I thought their ship, but they’re going to an outpost.  So, yeah, we do get great special effects and sound effects ‘cause we get this shot of the outpost and the clouds are moving, and it’s a painted scene with motion; really good job.  Then we’re in the outpost, where…Ferengi here.  274 assigned to outpost; that’s a…what is that?

 

Starfleet outpost, I think.  Relay message from…door opens…or replay message.  Borg, open.  Then there’s a little Nerf battle and a big ship versus the Enterprise.  Green versus Orange.  Those are the different…so, they have Nerf teams; Green Nerfs versus Orange Nerfs.  No one said who are you calling a nerf herder, ‘cause they said Scoots, I don’t think it’s a nerf herder.  I think you misheard it.  I say are you sure?  Because that would make sense.  You say, where’d you getting…Nerf is made from foam.  No, it’s made from nerf fur.  I was a nerf herder.  Nerf fur furder…nerf…that could be like…what do you call a fluffer-nutter on Tatooine?  Nerf herder.  You say, that doesn’t make any sense at all other than they…sounds…and I say oh yeah, give me a nerf herder.  What are you making for lunch?

 

Rey my dear, what would you like for dinner?  A nerf herder or something else?  Okay, anyway, sneak up, take outs with Nerf…Data does some ninja moves.  Super powers…Riker watches under table.  Then they all take off.  They go to intercept, they vanish.  Geordi has to study some stuff.  Data’s fists clenched…he’s spaced out or they’re spaced out.  Data, are you alright?  I got angry, like the…like the something.  Like the something.  Okay, let’s run it from there and we’ll see what else we see here.  Okay, we got poker going.  Hawking’s like, cracking jokes that I don’t…well beyond my understanding and Newton’s, or a funny story, I guess.  Isaac Newton’s only got one…Isaac Newton’s kinda like me but smarter.  He’s like…Data’s droid-splaining to him the joke.

 

Don’t patronize me.  I invented physics when the apple fell on my head.  Maybe it’s…I don’t know if his programming’s too accurate or not accurate enough.  Apocryphal story it is.  How dare you?  Okay, let’s get back to the game, Einstein says.  Data gives Einstein the side eyes.  Hawking had raised ten to Einstein.  He can’t add three and seven, I guess.  So, does he call?  Let’s see.  Oh, he says what’s the point of this ridiculous game?  That’s Newton.  Oh, and Data says it gives me insight into people’s humanity, playing games.  Curious to see how we play…history’s great minds would interact in this setting.  Most illuminating and profitable for Einstein, he says.  I say okay, let’s get it going.  So, I guess he called.  Hawking raises fifty.  Newton folds.  Data folds, and Einstein has to call.

 

He thought it was the uncertainty principle, but…and he calls.  But I mean, he’s right to call because…I don’t know what Einstein even has, but the odds of a four of a kind in Five-Card Draw are really low.  So, he says oh, bummer.  Wait, I can kinda see…let me just go back there, if I can kinda see Einstein’s cards.  Then they call him in…[00:20:00] okay, it looks like he has three of a kind or maybe even a full house.  Like, maybe he has…what are those?  Three, six, nine…two nines and then…maybe not.  I don’t know.  Impossible for me to tell.  Data’s gotta go to work.  He ends the program.  His visor’s still on.  His visor is not an illusion; it’s real.  It’s on his head but not on his ears.  Then we see the Enterprise.  It actually went from back-left to front-right.

 

They got some outpost, Ohniaka…and let’s call everybody while they were in the system.  Bring us out of Worf.  Here’s another ship orbiting the planet.  Configuration doesn’t match our records.  Okay, stand by.  Hail them.  No response.  Put it on screen.  Does not appear…I don’t know what they’re doing.  Maybe they got here before us.  Maybe the ship’s been…maybe the ship’s…there’s electronic…electromagnetic interference.  Data’s typing away.  Riker heads off.  He does a…he moves his body when he makes turns.  I don’t know if that’s because his back aches or just a character thing.  Then we get the nice shot of the outpost from outside.  Then we’re inside.  We see a lot of snoozing…forced plasma Nerfing.  Could have been Nerf…Ferengi were here before.

 

Doesn’t look like they were following Nerf protocols for Nerfing.  Yeah.  They say okay, well, let’s start looking around, Riker says.  They start patrolling.  People are snoozing.  Then Data goes to open a door; it’s jammed.  The mechanism’s jammed.  Then eventually he does some hacking.  He gets it open.  Bypass the primary system, and then there’s a Borg there.  The Borg is static, so at first you say bum-bum-bum.  Oh, whoops, I pressed the wrong button.  So, I just went to the next episode.  Don’t worry, though.  We’ll get it back here.  So, the door opens.  I was trying to skip the intro.  That’ll teach me.  But then the whole Nerfing erupts.  Green Nerf…Data…Orange Nerf scores a point, then three more Borg come.  Riker’s under a table.  Worf is running things with another Starfleet officer.

 

Geordi and Picard are dealing with stuff.  Evasive maneuvers and shields at 80.  Auxiliary power.  Riker’s pinned down.  Data goes…they do a little Nerf swording with Nerf…like, Nerf sabers.  Riker scores a point.  They say, you…that was Torsus, man, my bestie.  Runs off.  Then someone’s scanning; they say Klingon, human, biological, biological.  Then the Borg score a point.  Worf scores one right back.  Then Data does more Nerfs…light-sabering, but he starts grabbing…he uses his super strength and speed to tie all their Nerf sabers into knots.  He says stop Nerfing; stop.  He’s irritated.  He even has a look on his face.  This is kinda the underpinnings of these episodes.  He’s glaring.  Then he gets scanned; artificial life form, lieutenant commander.  Name; Data.  But that must have been…and Riker sees all this.

 

He says well, that’s interesting.  Then they transport away.  Then the ship takes off.  The Enterprise tries to go after it but after a subspace analysis, disappears.  That’s when Geordi’s like alright, I’m gonna have to go back and do some studying of this.  Something strange happened.  I say Geordi, you’re just…you’re always the best Geordi you could be.  I’ll have to do something.  Picard says well, let’s go back to Ohniaka.  We go back there, we see the sky again, then we see Data’s clenching his fist as Riker climbs out.  He goes Data, you okay?  Data’s like, I don’t know.  I think I got angry.  That’s where I…my notes said like the Hulk.  Then, let’s see, I’ll stay with this screen for now.  Captain’s Log 46982.1; because of his unusual behavior, Data’s relieved…been temporarily relieved of duty by his request.

 

This means he can’t help us investigate this change in Borg behavior.  So, we have a meeting.  They’re fast, almost like Klingons.  They were Nerfing like Klingons.  No offense.  None taken, to Worf.  I don’t think they were part of the collective, Riker says.  They were acting as individuals.  They had names, used ‘I’, they showed concern.  Torsus…Troi says I thought Hugh was the only named Borg, and we gave it the name.  Dr. Crusher says huh, maybe this is us.  They say, any interest in assimilation?  No, not interested in assimilation.  Not even interested…it’s strange.  They didn’t seem like they wanted to assimilate anybody or anything.  Then they say well, if they’re not interested in assimilation, what in the…we’re making an assimile out of you and me.  They said, what are you talking about, Scoots?

 

They say, a…Picard says okay, well, get ready in case something strange happens.  Let’s analyze some of our readings and see…did they construct this ship or was it a alien ship?  How did the subspace stuff…I gotta get ahold of Starfleet Command.  Then Geordi’s running Data’s brain, the positronic net, check it.  Looks good.  Everything looks fine.  Data says yeah, everything on my end’s fine, too.  Nothing to indicate anything strange.  Behavioral anomalies.  I agree.  This is a great interchange if you want to ever to watch it.  It’s at…around eleven minutes.  Data says I think I had my first emotion.  Geordi says well, how would you know a power surge versus anger?  Data says yeah, I have no frame of reference to confirm my hypothesis.  I can’t even describe it.  Can you describe what it feels like?

 

Then I could use that as a frame of reference.  Geordi goes okay, well, it kinda feels like…first I feel…this is like Sleep With Me; first I feel hostile and belligerent.  I think he says could you describe feeling hostile?  Yeah, like feeling belligerent.  Data says can you describe feelings without referring to other feelings?  Geordi says whoa, boy.  He even smiles; he says that’s deep, man.  Nope, can’t do it.  I just feel it.  He uses his hands in a way…and Data replicates how he uses his hands and says yeah, I simply…three hand motion…felt it.  Then Geordi says well, if it was a real emotion, how’s that possible?  Data goes, I don’t know.  Maybe evolution?  It’s in my grasp.  Maybe I’ll get some more emotions.  Geordi goes, I hope you’re right ‘cause I don’t want you to have one emotion or feeling.  That gets Data’s attention.

 

Then we get a Captain’s Log; 46984.6 or something.  Nothing happened.  We got a admiral here to take command in this sector, just to be ready.  Then the admiral, she’s like, we got fifteen starships on the way here.  Gorkon’s mine.  You’ll be in Task Force 3.  She says by the way, I know what happened with this Hugh.  The report you submitted…she says WTF, man.  Like, you had a Borg; you could have programmed it for…with sleep mode for all Borg and put all Borg to sleep.  You brought in onboard, analyzed it, you had a solution, [00:30:00] and you sent it back and you didn’t do it?  She says, you nursed it back to health.  She says this like a radio host; oh, you’re so kind and…Picard says listen, Hugh became sentient.  It was not an autonamaton.  It was a person.  I felt I had no choice.

 

Those are the rules; respect his rights as a individual.  She goes, you had a choice.  This was an opportunity.  She goes, the Borg is trying to paint in broad strokes.  Picard says yeah, I’m aware of it.  But I have a oath and a conscience. I’m bound by those to uphold certain principles.  He goes well, I’m not gonna…and she goes, your priority is to Federation citizens, not your own conscience.  Now, I want to make it clear; you got an order.  Borg are not our friends.  You understand?  Picard goes, understood.  He definitely glares.  He even stands up to say it.  She goes, chain of command.  He goes, okay.  Command of…chain of command taken.  But they hold on him…then we have Troi and Data meeting, talking about trying to…this is a really good scene, too.  Said, I tried to be…listen to operas to be uplifting.

 

I tried to watch some humor, tried to get my back sweating four times.  Did that work?  Nope; back did not sweat.  Troi’s laughing.  I’m curious; why are you not leaning into the emotion you already experienced?  Also, if this is her office, it’s really nice.  It has some nice pink windows.  Then they go into this thing that all humans deal with.  Oh, is this getting your temperature rising?  Is that a good thing or a bad thing or a grey thing?  She’s trying to be like every therapist and say hey, let’s get away from all-or-nothing thinking.  Data goes well, isn’t it not good?  She goes well, is it what you do with the feelings or strong emotions or the actions related to them?  She goes, you’re…you gotta explore your feelings.  You don’t want to have to lead to action based on the feelings.  He goes, but what if it does?

 

What if those are the only emotions I’m capable of experiencing?  Does that mean I’m a bad person?  She goes oh, boy.  She gets up, sits down next to Data.  She goes, we’ve worked together a long time.  You’re not a bad person, so I know you pretty well.  She goes, that’s a trope to control behavior.  She doesn’t say that, but…he goes okay, well, I wish I was as confident as you, counselor.  He goes yeah, when I was getting that Borg, I got really irritable.  When I think back on it…he goes, there was another sensation there, like a cathartic pleasure.  He goes, is that an emotion?  I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but she goes wait a second, cathartic pleasure?  He goes yeah, something like that.  The whole scene is very well acted and performed.  She goes, if you had to give it a name, what would you call it?  He says, pleasure.

 

I believe it was.  There’s a real slow delivery.  Then there’s…long on Troi’s reaction, and that goes to a commercial.  Let me run through my notes here.  Oh, unusual…Captain’s Log; unusual.  New change in Borg.  Meeting…Klingon…Borg.  The only Borg with a name was Hugh.  Not interested in assimilation!!  Double exclamation point.  Contact Starfleet Command.  Geordi checks out that positronic net.  My first emotion.  You are confident or conflicted…Geordi feels hostile, like belligerent without referring to other feelings.  I just feel…both use hands!!!  Triple exclamation point; 12:40.  I do not know.  He’s got Data’s to give a look on.  I wouldn’t want you to think that your…all your feelings.  Oh, others stiffened up…Starfleet Task Force 3.  Very dramatic.

 

Admiral…bored…bound by my oath and conscience.  You’re under orders.  Proud to stand…yes. Doubt on face.  Data and Troi…pink windows or shades?  Yeah, shades.  Four attempts!!  Double exclamation point.  Troi amused…anger.  Negative?  Malice?  Data has…oh yeah, I was like, Data has anxiety about it.  He’s experiencing another feeling.  Yeah, like anxiety and rumination.  She sits next to him.  Deeper look…other emotion.  I felt something; pleasure.  Troi look.  Then there’s an ad break.  Riker action, new belief, thirteen minutes…canceled third time today.  Tell them to read the manual.  Sixteen hours of patrol.  Riker studies Hugh.  Riker has an…anything could be anything.  Picard is hot.  I want answers!!  Double exclamation point.  I let him go.  Risky dragnet but moral, but not right?  Riker look.  Hugh screen.

 

Geordi code snoop.  Oh, Geordi code…snoop on Data and Borg.  Or I interrupting?  Huh?  Can I call you first?  Too strong on Borg.  Will you help me duplicate the conditions?  Oh, Geordi’s so concerned he uses his high voice like when I answer the phone or I call someone.  Like, can I make a dentist appointment?  That’s my high voice.  Or hi, could I speak to the manager?  My life…I’m your friend.  Another alert.  M51…located the ship.  Subspace distortion.  Not going to get away.  Vanish every matrix.  Pulled in wall.  Wormhole…purple.  Normal space…celestial fix.  Bring ship ahead.  Shields at 16%.  Borg onboard.  Worf effect.  Foundling big farm.  Franklin big farm.  The ship is gone…left them.  This one is here.  Dr. Crusher; full recovery.  Wake him.  Do it.  Alright.  Picard talks to Crosis…Crosis, C-R-O-W-S-U-S.

 

Not how you spell it.  Not how you spell it…by the one.  Touches the energy wall.  Does he have a name?  Hugh.  Close out the other one.  Check out this one, Data.  All alone.  I do not wish to be.  He uses some kinda arm button to do something to Data.  Total hypnozation and weird voice.  Data, do you have a friend?  Geordi.  Yes, I would.  Geordi, Riker, and Picard…fast-moving river.  Told about Grapplise.  Shuttle out…WTF?  Great look at Worf’s hair.  Grant Picard to Riker look and Commander Data.  Zoinks.  They lean in…WTF?  Whoosh.  Ad.  So, yeah, let’s go through some of that coverage there.  Let’s see, so, we were ending on Troi’s face.  Riker, he goes there.  He says, hey.  Picard…everybody comes to the thing.  The colony…false…these are these false alarms.  ETA?  Fifteen minutes.  Get ready.

 

New Berlin canceled the call.  [00:40:00] That’s when they say fall…yeah, it was a trading ship.  Everybody’s worried.  Third time today.  Tell them to read the manual.  Picard’s already irritable but he gets hotter.  He got really criticized by the admiral.  Falsely, but…no reports of Borg.  Tensions high.  Exterior shot of…then it said, do I have a name?  Watching the Hugh video…Picard’s watching it.  I’m Beverly.  He’s Geordi.  You’re Hugh.  Says seven hours, nineteen minutes, and one second.  Stardate 4855.4.  Riker comes in.  Check out this report on this GameBoy.  Artificially created energy conduit?  Could be anything.  That doesn’t even mean anything.  That’s when Picard says I want answers.  Riker says oh, boy.  He lifts his chin; sorry about that.  I just…he was here.  Hugh was here.  What did I do?

 

Picard’s fish goes swimming by in the background, too.  Riker says, it was risky but it was…it was a choice you made, the right choice, the moral choice.  Picard says yeah, well, the moral choice might not be the right choice though, Will.  They both get good looks.  They look at Hugh, paused, then Geordi’s…I don’t know what he’s doing, going to spy on Data.  He lets himself right into a private Holodeck moment.  See, that’s a terrible…I mean, I would say that’s a terrible idea.  That’s when we see Data tying up a Nerf…Nerf lightsabers or whatever.  But he can’t get the right mix of Nerf without a pass code.  But Geordi’s like dude, what are you doing?  Data goes, tying up Nerf things.  He goes well, why would you do that?  I gotta get…we gotta get to work.  Data goes okay, I can get back to work.  But he goes, what is going on in here?

 

‘Cause there’s millions and millions of knotted Nerf…like, kinda like pool noodles.  He’s like, this is strange behavior even for you, Data.  Data goes well, can we finish this up?  He goes okay, I need a stronger pool noodle.  Index 2.1; 20% stronger.  Geordi goes to sit down.  Still not strong enough.  So, then he goes, even stronger.  The computer goes, can’t do it without a override code.  Data goes you know, there was something about those Borg pool noodles.  They had a tensile strength we can’t simulate here without using two codes.  Geordi goes well, that’s…the computer won’t let you ‘cause you could strain your fingers and we need your fingers on board, Data.  Plus, I’m your friend.  You might want to use them for other things like writing, playing the piano, petting your cat.  So, yeah, can’t approve that; no.

 

Yeah, I don’t know.  Let’s duplicate the conditions though of the original incident as closely as possible.  Geordi goes Data, we’re talking about an experiment here.  Data goes, this is my…I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel emotion.  If I gotta knot up pool noodles to feel emotion, I’m gonna do it.  Geordi goes, this doesn’t make any sense.  You’re quantifying pool noodles and feelings.  He goes, this is almost like a…he goes, this…Data goes, this is the only stimuli I’ve found that make me feel the way I feel.  Geordi goes well, I’m your friend.  I can’t just let you sit around here knotting pool noodles.  Then they get called in; they say something’s going on.  Get back to base.  We see the Enterprise go from left to right.  MS colony; we gotta go help it.  Isn’t it strange, though?

 

There’s been a bunch of these when we’re close and then they disappear.  They said, the Borg ship’s heading away.  Let’s follow that ship.  Lock on it.  Let’s all sit down.  Or, at least Riker and I.  We see the Borg ship.  They try to follow it.  Full impulse.  Lock on that thing.  We’re closing.  Thirty seconds.  Then there’s a subspace distortion and let’s not let them get away.  Picard to Engineering; get all the power to impulse.  Acknowledged.  125%.  Alright, ten seconds Worf needs, but then it vanishes.  They go, it’s some sort of energy matrix.  Engine’s back.  They get pulled in.  So, they go through this energy matrix and it’s digitized.  I guess they go to a commercial.  Then we see them going through a purple cloud.  There’s a bit more stuff, you know, vibration and stuff.  It slows down.

 

Then they come out of it in normal space and…a celestial fix Data tries with secondary systems.  Borg ships in…turn around.  Put it on screen.  Their shields are only at 16%.  It’s coming straight at them.  They send this green thing there, and then the Borg are onboard.  The Nerf…they do a Nerf-out.  Each Borg scores once.  Worf scores twice.  Everybody’s like holy cow, Data’s doing some acting.  Franklin’s been Nerfed.  Aye, sir.  No one else onboard.  Borg ship is gone.  That was a…maybe that was a distraction, a diversion to give them a chance to get away.  Another change in Borg behavior.  They left everybody behind.  They say, this one is…these Borg are just resting, or this one Borg is.  That’s when they…Bev…Dr. Crusher is looking it over.  Riker says, wake…I mean, Picard says wake it up.  I want to talk to it.

 

She says well, I don’t know.  He goes, wake it up.  Or, do it.  He actually says holy Nike swoosh; do it.  Picard is…and Data are standing behind him.  Looks like he has two transistors on the side of his head.  Lower the force field.  They go out.  Worf and Dr. Crusher go out, and then they put the field back up.  Picard goes, what’s your designation?  I don’t got a designation.  I’m Crosis.  Picard looks behind him.  Crosis, what kind of name’s that?  My name.  Where’d you get it from?  The one gave it to me.  Who’s the one?  The one that’s gonna deal with everything.  He goes, but you’re Borg.  Don’t you assimilate?  What happened to your assimilation joys?  Then it says, biological organisms, human, Klingon…he goes…and Picard goes, does he…the one have a name?  Is it Hugh?  Is Hugh doing all this?

 

He goes, why is…what’s up with this one?  Picard wants to know.  Also, good effects.  He goes, by the way, I’m Locutus of Borg.  Answer my questions.  Crotis or whatever just stares at him.  Picard’s exasperated.  This is going nowhere.  He goes, let’s see what we can learn from the other…he goes, let’s see if there’s any modifications on these Borg that are causing behavioral differences.  Data, do a bio-spectral analysis.  Check for subspace signals and get on it.  Data rolls up on Crotus or whatever, or Locrotus or whatever.  He goes yeah, you’re not like the others.  He goes, we could assimilate you.  Data goes, no thanks.  That’s when he does this thing on his wrist which clearly is messing with Data.  Goes, what about all those feelings you’ve always wanted, Data?

 

It starts to do hypnotic voice…the one who helped me can help you too, help you find emotion.  Like, real emotions.  I could second that emotion if you want to.  Have you felt anything?  Data goes yeah, when…I feel pleasure when I tie up knots…when I knot up pool noodles.  [00:50:00] He goes, how does it feel to feel pleasure when you knot pool noodles?  Data goes well, pleasurable, I guess.  He goes well, wouldn’t you want to do that all the time?  Data goes, it wouldn’t be ethical.  He goes, if it feels good, who cares about duty and ethics?  He goes, if it’s unethical to get pleasure from pool noodles…then he goes, you’re unethical.  He’s like…Data goes no, you’re messing with me.  That’s not correct.  Meanwhile, there’s somebody checking their e-mail in the computer in the background.

 

Data goes, I have a program of right and wrong, and wasting pool noodles is part of my conscience.  I gotta do more than just sit around tying up pool noodles.  Crosis says well, I guess it wasn’t working when you were on Ohniaka One or whatever.  Data goes, quit messing with me.  Your proximity is interfering with my scan.  He goes sorry, I was just thinking about pool noodles.  You notice my eye?  It has a cool effect on it.  Goes wow, just thinking about those knotting of pool noodles…Data goes yeah, it was a very potent experience for me.  He goes, you’d like to feel that way again?  Data says, yes.  He goes, you’d do anything, huh?  Even give up your best friendship with Geordi?  Data goes no, Geordi’s my best friend.  He goes oh, ‘cause I thought he was Hugh’s best friend, too.

 

He goes, you don’t sound very sure of yourself.  Are you sure your ethical thing is functioning?  He goes Data, do you have a friend named Geordi?  Would you give up your friend to knot pool noodles?  Data goes yes, I would.  That means we’re…if you could feel a pool noodle between your hands again like Ohniaka Three…and we’re through the looking glass ‘cause Data says oh, I’d like to touch a pool noodle again and feel it knot beneath my hands.  I would.  Then we see a parked Enterprise.  Riker, Geordi, and Picard are working on this…transwarp conduits or subspace exprilated and Delta quadrants, warp velocity…like a fast-moving river, so it’s way by the current.  How fast?  Geordi goes, I have no idea.  He goes, it’s beyond normal subspace.  He goes, you could go twenty times faster, maybe.  Maximum warp.

 

How does it work?  Some sort of tachyon pulse, maybe.  I don’t know.  I mean, this could change everything, just this analogy.  I’m surprised they aren’t like holy cow, could you duplicate that?  Then they say hey, a shuttlecraft took off; what the heck?  Nobody gave it permission.  Picard goes yo, what are you doing, shuttlecraft?  Get back here.  No answer.  Lock on tractor beam.  Tractor beam’s broken or something.  Yeah, disabled.  Somebody unplugged it.  Oh, boy.  They go, there’s a tachyon surge in the shuttle.  It’s gonna tran…trigger their conduit.  They go, wait a second, who’s on there?  Riker go…or, they go Borg…the Borg and Commander Data.  It swooshes off and then Riker, Picard, and Worf watch.  What do we say?  Can we follow?  We might.  Data; override.  Flash of emotion.

 

More profoundly, Geordi, can we simulate it?  Last known action.  Energizing the matrix…lower bandwidth, secondary bandwidth.  Alternating frequencies.  This is one thing I learned from watching the season…I mean, the season that I’m doing; if you need to change something up, alternate your frequencies.  That works a lot of cases.  It works…fluctuation.  One-half impulse.  Something…67%…repeat.  Sixty-five lightyears.  Oh, dear.  Big sigh.  No shuttle.  Riker and Geordi…two advanced civilizations.  No signs.  The plasma…wait, Riker found it; 247 mark 059.  Full impulse.  Tannish planet with clouds that are jamming the sensors.  Is that somebody?  No, it’s natural.  Trans something.  More sighs.  Take a right?  That doesn’t make sense.  Oh, take the something.  Permanent lock.

 

Two something…oh, two moons on the planet, but no sign of Borg or Data.  It’s like a sepia version of the California coastal hills.  There’s brush and nice trees, sepia tones.  How, for three and hours…how far in three hours?  Borg are not very fast, so fifteen to twenty kilometers.  Geordi asks, who’s gonna be in command?  Dr. Crusher.  Now it’s Captain Crusher and there’s a little bit of stress on her face, then a smile, then a deep breath.  Then we have Riker setting out the plan, searching the hills.  It was kinda like they’re going hiking.  Then they’re about to crest a hill.  They lie down in the grass before they get to the top to scan and talk about stuff, but Troi is at the top of the hill.  She sees a strange building.  Come on.  Thick grass, gnarled trees, and it was very Getty, and I think this is probably pre-Getty.

 

I don’t know, maybe Season 6 was the same time as the Getty, but I’m not sure.  I’m trying to think if the Getty opened in the 90s, like ‘97 or if it was just getting built in ‘97.  I think I went there in ‘97.  But maybe not ‘til like, ‘99.  Yeah, maybe it was just getting built in ‘96, ‘97.  But anyway, there’s a door or hatch around the corner.  There’s good wind sounds.  They go in a lobby, kinda like more of a hall, a marble hall; banners, flags, a podium.  It’s a meeting place, Troi says, but there’s some sort of star cases or dampening fields or something.  Let’s go.  All of a sudden, a ton of Borg show up and they’re cheering like…a bit like Klingons.  They say, stop.  They do a quick Nerf-off with one of the nameless Starfleet officers, and then Data appears.  Then Troi says, that’s not Data.  It’s velvet Lore.  He goes right, but I’m not alone.

 

Then Data appears and they go, the sons of Soong and their Borg crew, kinda like a pirate’s life for me.  I said, I could write some fanfiction; The Sons of Soong.  So, that’s how it ends in my notes, but let’s run through it.  Picard, can we follow?  Geordi says I got a pretty good reading; might be able to duplicate it.  Then they say is Data going on purpose or was he over-written?  Say, it could be either one.  But Picard says well, his recent emotion may have something to do with this.  Could have affected him more profoundly than we realize, so we gotta find him.  Geordi goes, I got a matrix setup.  I think I can copy it.  They go okay, Worf, everybody get ready.  We’re gonna do something unproven and…before, so let’s do it.  Energize the matrix, Geordi.  Okay, first he tries a lower bandwidth; doesn’t work.  Nothing unusual.

 

Okay, let me do secondary bandwidth.  Nothing.  Well, let me alternate the frequencies.  Next time, try that first.  It’ll work.  Worf says okay, there’s some sort of fluctuation here, you’re right, directly in front of us; a subspace distortion.  Okay, take us in.  They go in.  Power’s down; 67%.  They put up some auxiliary power and then they’re out of it almost instantaneously, and traveled sixty-five light years from previous position.  Holy mackerel.  Picard’s like, that’s not good.  They’re gonna wonder where we went.  Let’s find the shuttle at least.  No, we can’t find it.  Riker says, let me do…I can figure this out and do an energy signature.  [01:00:00] Okay, Geordi’s working on…he goes, they’re all…he says there’s two civilizations here.  No population though, and been plasma…plasma use…traces of Nerf.

 

Riker goes, Borg have been busy.  Riker finds the shuttle energy signature and Worf says this is where it’s at.  Lay the course; full impulse.  Then we get…the Enterprise goes over our left shoulder, orbiting counterclockwise I guess.  Tracing it…they’re still doing some analysis at the computers.  Intentionally jamming…not natural…natural jamming, man.  Magnetosphere.  Okay, can we transport through it?  Yeah, but it’ll be a surprise when we get down there.  Picard breathes, looks at Will.  We gotta do it, boss.  Okay, yeah, I think so too.  Send out a bunch of away…a tough away team and permanent lock on your signal so you can get outta there…trouble.  Worf, you’re with me.  They go down.  We see two moons, grass, the shuttle.  They’re looking around.  No sign of any Borg or Data.  Shuttle’s been abandoned.

 

EM interference is limiting our tricorder range, though.  Useless being a hundred meters.  Can’t find any structures.  They could be anywhere.  This is where the…you say okay, wow, they’re smart.  Well, how far…how fast can they walk?  The shuttle was the El-Baz.  Engine’s been off for three hours.  Okay.  Geordi?  Okay, fifteen to twenty kilometers.  I mean, isn’t that…I guess that makes…three hours?  No, the furthest you could go would be about ten kilometers, I think.  But anyway, not important.  Alright, Riker, I’m gonna send down other away teams.  Set up a command post, map a search plan.  I’ll be in touch.  Geordi, use the shuttlecraft for low-level reconnaissance.  Send some pilots.  Everybody, even you and me, are going down there, buddy.

 

We’re gonna put together four-people away teams and leave a few people onboard.  Who’s gonna be in charge?  Then Dr. Crusher says any last orders?  Well, if anybody comes, don’t wait around.  Get outta here.  Go back to Federation space.  Okay, got it.  Good luck, Jean-Luc.  Good luck, captain.  They kinda smile, like what did I miss the past couple seasons?  Then Riker’s going over his map.  Twelve teams are out looking.  You’re gonna be…we’re gonna be Theta One-Six.  Wallace and Towles are on the command post.  So it’s Geordi, Troi, Picard, and some rando.  They’re out in the sepia hills.  Kinda looks…could be LA or Berkeley or San Diego area.  They’re going up a hill.  Looks nice.  I mean, I say I’ve hiked in these hills before, or something similar.

 

Probably wouldn’t hike up where they’re hiking just ‘cause it’s unnecessarily steep.  They lie down.  Okay, what if…how are we gonna find them?  We need a renaissance fluctuation in Data’s power cells or something and then hone in on it.  Maybe talk to Data’s positronic net.  I don’t know.  Then Troi’s like, I see something.  It looks like the Getty but more modern.  It’s got a couple flying buttresses, even.  They say, really?  A flying buttress?  He goes yeah, no, it does.  So, they say let’s get a…I love flying buttresses, Picard says.  I’m French, you know, so let’s go look at it.  They get too close to be able to see the flying buttresses, but I say who built this?  Rock and roll?  No, not Borg, either.  No energy signatures from the Borg.  But there is a door or hatch twenty meters this way, so let’s check that out.  Check it one, two.

 

So, they go around the side, they go into the hall.  There’s a couple ATMs or something.  They’re a little bit smaller but they look like a modern…or maybe water machines?  There’s some balconies, marble, black marble, kind of like a silver marble, some sort of…what do you call…what do they call those?  Borg symbol.  But then they say okay, we can’t get any signatures in here.  The light sources don’t have any power.  Picard goes, it’s a dampening field.  Come on, Geordi.  The lights are on.  Better get moving.  That’s when the whole Borg…the Borg are much more boisterous…boisterous Borg.  A bevvy of boisterous Borg appear, and they Nerf the one person that’s with them that’s not famous.  Then Lore says stop.  He’s cloaked in velvet or what looks like velvet to me.

 

It could be just…yeah, it does look like velvet, though.  Not crushed velvet; more of…he would be great…he would really absorb sound in his outfit.  It’d be great for lining a room in Lore’s outfits.  It’d be perfect for broadcasting a podcast.  Then he says, here’s Data.  Sons of Soong have joined together, and together we’re gonna rule with our crew of Borg.  All the Borg…yeah, yeah, yeah.  They start chanting along.  Yo-ho, yo-ho, a Borg-type life for…season’s cliffhanger’s life for thee was watching.  Not for you, though.  I’ll be back in just a short episode from now to talk about this second-half of this.  I mean, episode cycle.  So, they’ll be the Tuesday-style episode, then a written episode, and then another TNG episode, so I’ll be back soon.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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