975 – Pastry Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep S9/C6 E9
Rahul strikes a pose that would make a glass of milk sweat, in a good way.
- Bulbous Bump
- Wisconsin Dells
- “Hollywood Handbook” Podcast
Notable Talking Points:
- Making an Assume out of Wave Pools and Me
- Briony Talks Like Yoda
- What's a Pastry Brush?
Episode 975 – Pastry Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep S9/C6 E9
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, my beautiful bakers, and my patron peeps; what up, patrons? It’s time to, I don’t…put you to sleep, I guess. I couldn’t do it without you, so what do you say we get on with the show?
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, so whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, things on your mind, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or seasonal stuff. Whatever’s keeping you awake, so it could be things you’re thinking about, something you’re experiencing emotionally or physically, or something else, or you might not know.
You might just say this is…if you were saying it in a detached way, you’d say well, this is inconvenient. That’s kinda one of the…I just want to say that’s one of the ripples around sleep for me, but I don’t think…I don’t know if it is a ripple. When did ripple…so, you got ripples in water and you have ripples…what’s a ripple in ice cream? I see that all the time. They say there’s ripples of something in here, or ribbons of it. I say well, maybe I should come back to this. I don’t know. Ripple…this podcast is hopefully like ripples in still water, maybe. But whatever’s keeping you awake; you could be…well, if you sleep on a boat…inconsistent ripples. Like, a gentle, consistent ripple would be great. Well, here’s an idea; theme park people, hear me out.
If you own a waterpark and you say well, we’re looking for a way to maximize revenue ‘cause I know a lot of you…and I’m not judging you; I just say well, that’s probably something most people are looking to do. You have one of those wave machines, right? Those wave machines, I think they were big in the 90s or maybe the aughts. Here’s my take on wave machines; no offense, waterparks. Well, I’d rather go down a water slide but I say, what…so, let’s get into…it’s like a swimming pool but you bump in…everybody’s bumping into you. Okay, sounds not like…it’s like being in real water, with…and I say okay, wait, so I’m gonna get it…it’s…yeah, it’s like being in a bath tub with a bunch of people bumping into you. Hm.
Okay, well, I guess I’ll pass on that but my idea for waterpark entrepreneurs…like, if you’re looking to do a…let’s say you’re some sort of corporate…whatever you call them, where you buy stuff…Gordon Gekko or whatever. Here’s an idea; you say okay, well, yeah, we just can’t make that work. We wanted to purchase Waterparks Unlimited. The entire…we were gonna purchase the entire Wisconsin Dells but we just can’t make it work. We can’t make the bottom line work. We’re close; we just need one thing to…we want to, you know. I say well, I got it for you, Gordon. I can’t give it to you for free, but I can because this is a sleep podcast. Because here’s the thing; when you’re…one of the downsides of sleeping on a boat I would imagine is that sometimes there’s waves, sometimes there’s not.
Sometimes there’s something passing by. For me, that is one of the things…I say if there’s something consistent I can sleep to it but when it’s inconsistent, it gets on my nerves. I don’t know if anybody else is hearing me. But this would be a hotel package thing. You get some sort of…something like you would see…like, a cryogenic chamber and you put them in the wave pool. You say oh yeah, these are our individual sleep pods. You get to sleep in the wave pool. You could make an island or something, too. I’m sure you could design this. You say, be lulled to sleep gently by…in our wave pool. ‘Cause you say well, the…’cause the waterpark’s gotta close down at dark. I think most of them…that’s when they close down. I don’t know. Hear me out, though; I think it’s a possible idea.
Also, you know, there’s other ways. People use those sweet…those…that sweet rocking of the waves can cause the hearts to pitter-patter and hands to be held, if you know what I’m saying. So, I don’t know if ripples in water are keeping anybody up at night. Wrinkle; I think that’s the word I was actually looking for, and I don’t even know where I…but whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that. That’s what I’m here for if you’re new. What I propose to do is to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’m gonna come back. I’m gonna say okay, well, what was I talk…? Oh yeah, that’s all to take your mind off of stuff so you can fall asleep.
So, if you’re new, a couple things to know upfront; a little late, but if you’re skeptical or doubtful or you’re not even sure…you’re like, I don’t know if I like this, just like a wave pool. Think about your first time at a wave pool. You say, I don’t know if…are there any…I mean, I think there are people…I think a wave pool is a bit like other things where you think it’s really only good when you remember it and you…you say well, I can’t wait to get in that wave pool. Then you get in there and you say what am I…why am I in here when I could be going on a water slide or the Lazy River? If you are a wave pool fan — I’m not trying to take anything away from it — especially if…I can imagine if you’re in there in the off-season when it’s not super busy, that it might be nice, or if you rent it out for surfing. I’ve seen that on a promotional video.
That would be cool, or body surfing when it’s empty. But you say well, I’m just thinking of it when I’ve been to them, so it’s just my experience. I’m just making…I’m making an assume out of wave pools and me. Where was I, though? Oh, so…oh, if you’re doubtful about this podcast, that’s a normal reaction when you first get here. Why wouldn’t you be? You probably heard about thousands of things to try to put you to sleep that you’ve tried. Somebody said well, there’s this dude that just talks about nothing to put you to sleep. He kinda tell…it’s kinda like a bedtime story that never starts and never ends at the same time. The people that told you about it, they say it’s amazing, or my cousin loves it. It’s not for me, but try it out. So, of course you’re gonna say wait a…okay.
So, that’s a normal reaction and the majority of listeners that have listened to the show even for…since the beginning say give it two or three tries. That’s how long it took me to get used to it. Maybe that’s what wave pools say; hey, give me two or three tries and you’ll…that’ll be it. I mean, maybe that’s…but I’ll keep coming back. That’s the thing with the wave pool. I’ll say well, I paid, whatever, forty-four bucks to get in here. If anybody that owns a waterpark…is the Wisconsin Dells…that’s like, the waterpark capital of the…of at least of the US. That’s one of my dream stops. I haven’t been there. Maybe 2021, 2022 is the year. 2022, probably, ‘cause I’m recording this…you’re in my future. I’m still in 2020. So, oh, give the podcast a few tries. That’s one thing if you’re new.
The other thing is…the other two things is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. Maybe like a wave pool…if you’re not going there for the waves, you say well, I’m just going there just to float. That’s what a lot of people do and they just enjoy the motion. Or maybe they say well, I…I don’t…I’m not into the water slides; I’m into just…and I’m not into the Lazy River. They may say the Lazy River’s just…they say that’s the same thing; you’re just on a tube bumping into people. You say I don’t need my leg or my ankle touching someone’s shoulder that I don’t know. I mean, that’s what I would say. That’s just who I am, though. Let’s just be straight; I got…I like to have my boundaries nice and…not nice and tight; nice and wide. I say, can I have one of those two-people inner tubes just for me and then attach another one?
Oh no, no, it’s not even…they say well, that’s…you just don’t want to bump in…? No, no, even the people I know I don’t want to bump into. Not into that. They say, let’s make a raft, friends. No thanks, I’m in the Lazy River to kinda be…try not to be with my thoughts and just float around. Okay, so just kinda consume the podcast like that, where you’re just kinda drifting. Just barely pay attention. I know, and at…tough…at first it can be tough but after a while you say oh, this podcast never get…like I said; it never starts, it never ends. It does, but if you approach it with that kinda mindset, you say huh, [00:10:00] okay, I guess I’ll try to consume it in that way. That’s a challenge for me; can I in the future enjoy those things a little bit more and just be in the wave pool or be in the Lazy River and not get caught up in my own things?
Say okay, you can handle this, Scoots. I mean, I think I’m getting that kinda self…it’ll be fine. Your ankle could touch someone’s hair. I’m not even worried about…it’s just my boundaries. This doesn’t have anything to do with anything beyond that. I’m not…I don’t have any phobes or whatever. I’m not thinking about that. It’s just, very lizardy. My lizard brain says no, I’d prefer our bubble stay around us forever. So, I’m working on that. So, oh, so don’t pay attention to me. Barely listen to this podcast. Also, this podcast doesn’t really put you to sleep. It’s just kinda here while you fall asleep, which is a little bit different. That’s why the episodes are about an hour, is to give you plenty of time to drift off. Then if you can’t sleep, the episode will be here for you to keep you company.
So, that’s…don’t listen to me and I won’t really put you to sleep; I’m more here as…my job is, yeah, keep you company as your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh. If you see me at the wave pool, say what’s up, bore-bruh? You gonna do some body-surfing? I’d say if you could clear all these toddlers and their grandparents out of my way, then…no. I say well, then I would start thinking about…yeah, and cycle the water out forty times. So, okay, where was I? Holy. I’m not being judgey about the wave pools. It’s clearly my own issue. It has nothing to do with other people. It’s just the idea that they’re…that’s like, oh, this is my…something about water changes…well, it doesn’t change my relational boundaries.
It’s just, if you weren’t in water, it’d be clear; like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s…you’re within…if my leg hair could touch you, ‘cause it’s like, my leg hair goes straight out, then that’s way too close. Where in water, you say oh, that’s totally…you just roll…I guess a well-adjusted person just rolls with it. So, kinda just barely roll with this podcast but also we’ll put you to sleep or keep you company as you fall asleep. The other things that can throw new people off is the structure of the show, and that’s natural just because our structure of the podcast is very different. It starts off with a greeting so you know you’re welcome here. Then there’s Supporter Zone is support for the listeners and support for the show. So, resources for listeners and then sponsors and stuff so we can keep this podcast free for you.
Then there’s the intro which has been going for about twelve minutes. The intro goes from…anywhere from about minute six to minute twenty or so. It’s the same every time and it’s different every time. Every time I try to introduce the podcast to new listeners and I get distracted and I go off-topic and I talk about something and then I’ll probably talk…re-talk about it for about eight minutes. Then I’ll try to talk about the structure of the show. Then I’ll go back, just like you’ve observed thus far and just like the water…how do you think the water in a wave pool feels, or a Lazy River? Like, the molecules, they say…it says I’ve been by this palm tree 4,000 times in the last two days, or whatever…what…so, I don’t know…oh, my point is that the intro kinda goes on and on and on. Now, oh, and my thoughts get cyclical.
But that serves a couple purposes; one, to introduce new people to the show and kinda to give you an idea what you’re in for. But for the regular listener, you got some options. As you become a regular listener, you could…2% of people skip ahead to twenty minutes and then the rest of the listeners use the intro in different ways, but all of them combined use it as a part of their wind-down routine. Now, for some listeners, they fall asleep during the intro but for most listeners, they’re getting ready for bed or they’re in bed getting comfortable, or they’re doing some other relaxing pastime to get some distance from the day and I don’t know, just to give you a long runway into sleep because I’ve found for me, that’s what works best and for the people the show works for.
So, the intro’s a slow descent into sleep, ideally, and it gives you something to listen to to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake. So, that’s the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and the episode. That’s kinda how podcast structure works, and you could always find those sponsors at our website. Then there’s the episode, which we’ll be talking about Great British Bake Off, Pastry Week, Pâtissière Week. It’ll be in a kind of, I don’t know, a barely coherent recap of what happened and what people talked about, what people were wearing, what they were doing. So, it should be fun but also very distracting and meandering and easy to sleep to. You won’t miss anything.
You could listen or re-listen to the episode but ideally it’s here to provide you a level of comfort and a level of distraction, and also just give you permission to barely pay attention to it. Then the show ends with thank-yous and goodnights, so that’s the structure of the show and the other things that can…and the other main important point is that I make this show because I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. I’ve had all those things. I mean, look, how many people have wave pool issues? Probably the Venn diagrams…Sleep With Me listeners…you say, yeah. I may enjoy waterparks but I do a lot of thinking about the waterparks, too. Or you say well, I’d like…you look at yourself in the mirror; this is what I do.
One day I’m gonna be a person that could fully…so well-adjusted. I’m gonna enjoy that waterpark. Even waiting in line when the kid tries to go by me and his bathing suit wipes against my side of my thigh; I say oh, no. Then I also say what are you doing? Oh, well, my family’s up there. I say well, okay, but the line starts down at the bottom of the stairs. Well, I’m seven years old. Well, I want you to wait in line because it’s…so, I got that…I said well, the line’s back…well, my family’s up there, though. Okay, well, yeah, they’ll meet you at the bottom of the water slide. Of course when I was seven, I was probably doing the same thing. So, anyway, I’m glad you’re here because I know how it feels.
Those are the kinda things that still go through…I’m not seven…you say…and then two years later, I’ll be lying…what were you saying? Why you got…? You don’t work at a waterpark. Why do you gotta enforce the line? Just let the kid go up with his family. I mean, that’s really what goes…I say, what kinda person does that? I say, I thought you wanted me to be assertive for our needs. Yeah, but it’s a seven-year-old waiting in line for a water slide. Right, but I waited…so, and then that…five hours later. So, I’ve been there; that’s one of the reasons I make the show. The other reason I make the show is because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place of respite where you have a little bit of distance between the day and the night and where you can get the rest you deserve so that you can live your life more fully.
So, that’s why I make the show. I really appreciate you coming by. Give it a few tries. Like I said, I don’t benefit from people listening if it doesn’t work out for you, but I hope it does. I wish I could make a podcast that worked for everyone but it just works for the people it works for, so give it a few tries. I really work hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by and here’s a couple ways I’m able to bring this podcast twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s time for Pâtissière Week. I think that’s probably the first and last time I pronounce it correctly. It starts off with a teaser full of tears; pastry out, pastry in. High-end pâtissière. Everybody running around, going rogue…someone’s going…this is the final countdown, the episode before the finals. Nothing…the good thing is nothing seems to be going right for anybody. Then we have the theme, the opening, and then we go to Noel and Sandi. A bit of a slow, slow…another one of a slow comedy. Let’s see what happens. Noel and Sandi are talking. A little bit worried partly because it’s the semi-final but pâtissière, it’s French; I don’t know anything about it, Sandi says. Noel says don’t worry, I got half-French. She goes, which half? He goes, I don’t know. My parents never told me.
Then he turns ‘cause he was in profile and he turns and his other half is the image of a Frenchman with a moustache, a striped shirt, and a half-beret. Yeah, this new Prince album just came out and that’s [00:20:00] one of the songs on there. It’s a super-deep cut, like the eighth disc if you were buying it. She wore a half, half, half-beret, the kind you find not…you don’t find at a second-hand store. Then we have our talking heads walking in, there’s hand-holding. Noel walks off; he’s smiling. Then the camera goes overhead. Semi-finals; Baking Battle Royale. That’s Alliteration Royale. Whittled down to three. Ruby and Briony hold hands. Kim-Joy talks about the added pressure. Judges were harsh last week. Don’t want to disappoint them. Briony says it’s gonna be not easy. A little bit nervous.
Rahul doesn’t even want to think about it; it stresses him out. Ruby on the other hand is pumped up. She’s like, I can’t believe I’m here. I’m excited. Then it says okay, bakers gotta make it through three pâtissière challenges. Stress city. Totes emosh is where Briony is. Totes emosh. Ruby talks about digging deep; I’ll find something. At some point she says you know, I ran a marathon, so this is…I’m ready. Semi-final; how tense is that? Somebody says. Twenty-four dipped madeleines. Now, it’s two different version…two twelve; not just twenty-four. Creative and decorative, clean, sharp lines, and it’s gonna be a high standard, so high Paul goes from his denim shirt to a three-toned blue indigo shirt. They got a hour and a half. Set your clocks. It’s the semi-final.
Wind four of us…Rahul has never had madeleines before, so that’s…Paul goes yeah, come on, it’s about firnesse, precision…finesse, he says, correcting me. This episode…deceptively difficult to make. Prue talks about the classical shape, the lines of the mold, perfect ridges, and then a hump, a bump; that’s what keeps going through, a camel’s hump, a gentle rise. You gotta get that batter right from the start. Genoise sponge. You gotta cool it down just like they would say. Slow it down and watch out ‘cause you’re gonna…if you don’t, you’re gonna lose your hump. So, you cool it down, put your pans in the freezer with Uncle Ebeneezer. Bulbous baby bump…bulbous bump, Ruby says. Rahul says nice little hump; it’s quite cute.
There’s baking powder…some people are using baking powder to help with their bump. [inaudible] is just air and eggs to give it its rise. Eggs and sugar, light and fluffy…Eloise bump? I don’t know what that says. Ruby’s not freezing rhubarb? I don’t know what that says, either. Baking powder…some people are…less or more. How much…give it a little rise. Elusive bump, Ruby says. Hello Ruby, they say. Oh, you’re not freezing your rhubarb, or something. Raspberry and lemon; fresh raspberry in the madeleine batter. Paul says, not frozen raspberry? Tries to mess with her head. Orange and stem ginger batch and then a white chocolate and raspberry, or dark chocolate in one of them. Paul says this is gonna be not an easy one. She goes that’s fine, Paul. I can take it; leave me alone.
So, she lets him have it which I like. She says ‘splain…go ‘splain somewhere else, dude. She goes, I’m gonna do my best. Hit the road. Then I gotta deal with Noel. Okay, also, Rahul; two-time Star Baker Rahul’s also doing lemon and raspberry and white chocolate which Ruby says, wait a second. Orange and chocolate is the other one. He’s baking fresh raspberries in his batter and then orange curd in the hump of his other madeleine. Paul says do you gotta use the baking powder? He goes yeah, I tried that once but it didn’t have the hump. He goes, one should have a hump. He goes, the other one with the raspberry, I’m not sure what the hump is now. I’m getting the hump now. I’m getting the hump, Paul. Paul’s making jokes about his ability to go on.
They have to make their…take the flavors of the madeleine too to a whole new level. Briony’s putting some mint in there, delicate mint flavor. Kim-Joy; orange batter. [Inaudible], lemon and raspberry, white choco, getting the hump now. No pressure at all, Rahul. Zest, mojito, spiced rum; this is Briony and Sandi. Sandi and Briony are close. Sandi says you know you’re gonna booze it up on those? She goes, oh yeah. Prue does not want tea in her madeleine, she says. I don’t want tea in my mouth. Briony says don’t worry; I got a really fine tea. You won’t get any in your teeth. Good luck. I’ll do my best. Noel says cocktails? Prue’s all over it. Batter’s made, the race against the clock. Bakers gotta chill, man. Ten to twenty-minute chill time. Ruby’s doing ten. Noel says semi-final; how about it, to her. She’s trying to work.
She goes, what do you mean…? He goes, what’ll it mean for you? Are you excited or nervous? She goes, excited. She goes, wouldn’t you be shocked? He goes yeah, I didn’t know if you’d make it past Week 2. She says, same here. Then Kim-Joy’s trying to stay focused. She’s chopping some sort of nut. Ginger and lemon madeleines and orange bunny madeleines. Oh, a pistachio she was chopping. Chop, chop, chop those pistachios. Aim for perfection. Cute little bunnies. I won’t let you down, Prue. But you gotta get that flavor right. We know you’re gonna decorate; you’re very artsy. You have a good eye. Noel says your stuff always looks beautiful. Then we see Noel and a gorilla…person in a gorilla suit playing shuttlecock…badmin.
That’s what it’s called; when I watched the episode I was like, what do you call the game you play with shuttlecocks? Shuttlecocks and humps this episode is full of. Then we see everybody filling their tins or their bins. Paul and Prue are talking humps and putting fruit in a rise. For me, Paul says a madeleine’s gotta have that classic bump, man. But not a huge bump, Prue says. No. I don’t know if they’re gonna use the proper…they’re not using the proper method in my book. The Hollywood Handbook in this case would be no baking powder. I’d like to hear Paul Hollywood on Hollywood Handbook. Has Paul Hollywood been…here…there’s the thing; maybe he already has. I’d have to search Hollywood on Hollywood Handbook.
That would be…because I don’t know if he would get it, so it could be one of those episodes where he doesn’t come back which would be…make it a good one. Okay, so, I got lost there. Let me know if you…has Paul Hollywood been on Hollywood Handbook? ‘Cause he has his own Hollywood Handbook he’s always telling people about. But he would seem like the perfect guest for it but just because of the strong feelings about Paul online, and he has strong opinions. Trying to think who was on there that’s had strong…oh yeah, who…I’m trying to think what the nickname for this person could be so I don’t say their name. They were famous in the 80s on MTV and from…they were a male…kind of a male version of a Valley girl. Okay, so, into the oven. Critical minutes to create the hump.
Temperature differences have to be spot on. Half an hour left. No time to breathe. Artistry and finesse are important. Frantic moves, finishing touches. Rahul talks to Sandi; what’s good? What’s going in there? Orange curd, by the way. She goes, semi-final; I’m excited for you. He’s not…goes, I’m not thinking about that. I’m just…you know, then I’ll worry. Then he’s not really talking to her, so she’s still talking to him. She goes, can you…I can’t really communicate with you when you’re bent over by the oven. He’s not really answering these questions. She says no, nothing there at all. Okay. We’ve just stopped communicating. Sorry. Oh no, no, they haven’t humped at all. They do have a small bump, though. I think he’s underestimating his hump size. Kim-Joy has giant ones. Ruby’s have a small one.
I guess I don’t know why they’re over-judging but maybe they’re looking for…their madeleines are supposed to have bigger humps. Don’t worry, I’ll be the first. Ruby cuts her madeleines. She says, I’m going rogue. I gotta [00:30:00] cut these to make them look nice. Rahul has piping problems, then he’s dipping them. They look nice. Red cocoa butter one. Noel says I’ll man the fort. He goes yeah, they do look a little small though, his bumps. Is that good or bad? Twelve bunnies…Kim-Joy’s got twelve bunnies to pipe. A great signature sentence? I don’t know…Sandi says…let’s see what she says ‘cause I’m like, two seconds ahead. Decoration time. Quickly dipping. He’s a bit wonky. Getting them is all about precision, Sandi says. Kim-Joy’s running. Twelve bunnies to pipe…oh, twelve bunnies to pipe. On its own, a great sentence.
One minute. Decoration stress. Time is up. Rubbish, adorable, good hump. You have a good hump on you, Kim-Joy, somebody says. Atrocious mess. So, then they do the judging. Rahul is…looks amazing, perfect hump, very good. Raspberry balances. Great flavor. Absolutely delicious. Great triumph. Thank you. He’s smiling. Somebody says stop grimacing, man; you did good. Then Ruby, AKA Rubes, a bit of a mess. Too much butter on your shells. Texture of under-baked polenta. That’s a bit harsh, but the flavors are good. But not your best. She says, I’ll take it. For Briony they say zany icing, your hump’s not bad, but I’m not getting any lime or mint flavors. But I love the coffee bean flavor. Color’s a little bit dark which plays into your baking.
Then they go to Kim-Joy; nice, beautiful, too much…you got too big a bump. Too much of whatever the…chemical rise. Not a massive flavor. Not enough orange in your sponge; just a bit of hint of it. Then they go to the talking heads here. Afterwards…I’m still watching…Ruby’s getting…they’re saying okay, Kim-Joy, Briony. If he said there was vanilla in there, I don’t taste nothing. Espresso martini though, Sandi says. Come on, she made an espresso martini for us to taste during this. Oh no, those were the espresso-martini-flavored ones. Love the coffee bean flavor. Orange icing complements your bunnies, Kim-Joy, so it’s half-good. She says, thank you. She blows her air out. She goes okay, I didn’t even know what madeleines are supposed to taste like. I thought the bigger hump, the better.
Ruby says yeah, I was worried about the lack of the hump. Big bump, lump, whatever you want to call it. Then Rahul says why is everybody laughing about the word hump? Then we see a bee on a flower, kind of the hump of a bee. That’s it for that. Then we go to the longest-ever technical challenge. Freezer; use it, Prue says. She says okay, use the freezer and off you go. They say okay, bye-bye. Prue’s gonna give Paul a makeover. Noel says not gonna be a stretch. Technical challenge; Prue would like you to make a Torta Setteveli, a pâtissière of seven layers, two chocolate Genoise sponges, silky smooth hazelnut bavarois, praline-based chocolate mousse. Quite a lot of things, a lot of words. Three-and-a-half hours for this almost impossible task. On your mark, get set, bake. Everybody’s looking over the things.
They say, I can’t believe this. Never heard of this thing. Wow, this is complicated. Kim-Joy doesn’t like technicals. Paul and Prue say okay…Paul says why’d you pick this? She goes, ‘cause it’s a fantastic cake for a semi-final. Beautiful, also known as seven veils cake. Indulgent layers. She goes, we’re getting Genoise sponge, hazelnut bavarois, two layers of that, praline crunch, chocolate mousse, and then the icing. She goes, main problem’s gonna be timing ‘cause this cake has got to be in and out of the freezer so each layer sets. Then you gotta put a mirror glaze on it, and then ribbons and stuff to get it set. Gorgeous, but even a professional pâtissière would have trouble with this. We’re asking the near-impossible. But you want to get as much air in during the mixing process, everybody says.
So, we get some batter folding. How long you bake for? Twenty-five minutes. People are tasting the…toasting hazelnuts to make the praline. As they bake the cake…I never knew a lot of the cakes in here are baked and cut in half. I could never…I can barely cut any…I can’t cut anything in half precisely. Like, anything you gotta do, like a big…I guess that’s like, an English muffin is nice ‘cause it’s already cut for you but a bagel or even a roll is always messed up when I do it. I guess those are just some of my personal issues. Anyway, toasted hazelnuts, praline, pâtissière something. Rahul knows what bavarois is. Oh, then there’s a good…let’s go back. Briony says I love instructions. I’ve never made praline, Kim-Joy. Caramel and nuts, eh? Ruby’s cooling her praline. When the praline is set, make a paste.
I guess you could blend it up. That’s what Rahul does; praline paste. Ruby says what’s a bavarois? Custard with gelatin, Rahul says. Ruby says I’m not a bavarois person. Sandi goes, I don’t know what bavarois is. We’re not bavarois people. Sandi goes, that’s a good name for a band; Bavarois People. Okay, so then they’re making a custard. I think that’s part of the bavarois, the praline paste. Pulsing praline paste; that was maybe the thing. Swells among…custard making, smells, chilling. Praline layer, melted chocolate, feuilletine…feuilletine, Rahul says. I can do it because I can’t pronounce it, either. Cake comes out. Ruby says okay, my cake looks okay. It’s risen. It has risen. Cake was rude to Noel. Someone’s cake…he says, it’s talking to me; Kim-Joy’s. He says I don’t like the way your cake is talking to me.
Then people are slicing their cake into two cakes or two layers which is interesting; I guess on a non-pro baker, what you do is you make cakes in those cake things and then you stack them. Also, bake them as fast as you can. They do use a…what are those things called? The things that you put a kabob on for guidance? But I wouldn’t…I don’t know how you could get that through straight. Okay, halfway through you blend, blend it in with your background, ganache and cream. Kim-Joy has mousse-related stress. The freezer is my friend, it is, Briony says like Yoda. People really care but I just dislike technicals so much. I think Noel’s trying to say you’re gonna be okay. She goes, I’m gonna try, ‘cause she’s really…has mousse troubles. She’s like, this is stressing me out.
Then we get down to one hour to do the mirror glaze. You need a double cream for your mirror glaze. I’ve really gotta zoom…she says oh no, that’s wrong. Her mousse is not moussey. I mean, she really does have to do a reset. Gloopy cake around in the mousse. Freeze until set. Kim-Joy says maybe I’m ready to go home. I don’t know. That’s when Noel cheers her up. He’s also got a brilliant shirt on; purples…it’s…you gotta see it to…I can’t describe it. It’s a indescribable shirt. It’s got a lot of color and a lot of decorations. But he does give Kim-Joy a nice prep talk…pep talk. Not prep. Half an hour left. Mirror glaze…[00:40:00] gotta make our chocolate curls. Too hot…too hot, baby. You’re whisking, you’re boiling your sugar, your water, your chocolate. Big blob of gelatin. That’s my first mirror glaze.
Oh, that’s what’s gloppy for Briony. Rahul’s cake is set. Ruby’s cake, Kim-Joy’s cake. Everybody’s looking…their cake is good. Now they gotta put the mousse on it and try to get it as smooth as possible. Kinda like whip cream cake here. That’s one of the cakes my mom makes or whatever, yeah, some sort of whipped cream or something. Kim-Joy says technicals really aren’t my thing. How much time’s left? A half-hour remaining. Let’s see, everybody’s saying okay, trying to temper their chocolate. 32 degrees; made it too hot, Rahul says. Noel says are you gonna cry? This is a funny exchange. It’s at thirty-one minutes left in the episode. He goes, you look like you’re gonna cry. Are you gonna cry? Don’t cry. He goes, I’m not…I’m trying not to cry. Noel says I’ll cry for him. He says please don’t cry for me.
Noel starts to cry. He goes, please don’t cry. Don’t…please don’t cry on the chocolate. Kim-Joy’s making her curls, Ruby’s making hers, Briony’s making hers. Rahul’s a little frustrated. Kim-Joy’s definitely frustrated. Mirror glaze issues; five minutes. Bakers, you can do this. You can do it. Come on, we believe in you. Briony’s mousse is frozen. Kim-Joy has to put hers on at the last second. Aargh. Everybody’s putting their mirror glaze on. For some people it’s going good; other people’s, it is not. Briony’s is shiny but gloppy. Rahul’s is a little too thick. Kim-Joy’s still trying to do her mousse. Might be spreadable. Then…you can do it; that’s when the ‘you can do it’…smudge it around. Kim-Joy’s getting it on. Tidy it up, put some hazelnuts on, add some chocolate curls. One minute remaining.
Eventually the time is up as everybody says…gets it done. A lot of exhales. Torta Setteveli; bring it up here. Bring up your Torta setting. Paul and Prue look them over. They go to Briony’s first. Shine, very dark, layers even, tastes great, but the coating is like a PVC. It’s not good. Everybody had problems with that. So, yeah, they say oh, that’s not…I’m not appreciating that. Ruby has an even mirror glaze. The layers look good. Goose…good…goose mousse layers; good mousse layers. So, they like hers. Fairly even. Does look like…I’m not a super chocolate fan but the other layers probably make it very edible. I also don’t like a dense cake which this seems like a denser cake. Soft and edible. Then Kim-Joy’s up. A bit of a rush, it looks like. Fairly neat. Mousse wasn’t set, so you got some marbling.
Very nice layers but no mousse. Somebody told him from production. Mousse blended with the top, so very little mousse. Mousse is thin. Prue takes it; good praline, nice bavarois. Not enough mousse. Then Rahul; serious issues with chocolate mixture. A bit of a rush. Nice shine, though. They take it out. Dark, almost as dark as the first one. Rubbery coating…coating’s not even edible. Then they rank them. Rahul comes in fourth, Briony in third, Kim-Joy in second, and Ruby first. Ruby’s very happy. Right now they’re going through third place. Rubbery on the outside. Second spot; Kim-Joy. Kim-Joy’s gotta be relieved. Quite like this cake; layers were neat. Just needed more mousse, basically. She admits it; yeah, some mousse was challenging at the end. They say number one; Ruby.
Briony says yay, Ruby. Mirror glazing; perfect. Layers; delicious. Beautiful cake. Then they do the talking heads. Briony…or Ruby’s like, what? I can’t believe it, but turns out I’m delicious. Kim-Joy’s happy about second. I thought I was gonna be fourth. I thought about giving up for ten seconds. I said no, I’m gonna do it. Rahul’s…this…okay, this is another one you gotta catch. Talk about…should be on the cover of a romance cooking novel. Right around with twenty-six minutes left, he’s leaning against the fence, Rahul, out in the country and he’s talking. He very…cuts a striking figure. He’s like, kinda playing with his fingers and he says it’s okay. Something good happens, then something bad happens right behind it. I said dude, that’s the story of my…I told…I have that mindset.
Briony says it’s gonna come down to the showstopper tomorrow, so that’s it. Then we see sunset, the AM…bakers walking in. Table talk; Sandi says usually we know where things are headed but now it’s up in the air. It’s like a fresh start; everybody’s kinda even. They talk about, yeah, today’s a fresh day. Everybody has to put it in for the showstopper. It’s extraordinary ‘cause yesterday Rahul and Ruby flipped from top to bottom. Kim-Joy got a little bit stronger and she’s always been consistent. Briony’s kinda in the weakest position. Sandi says it comes down to personality. Kim-Joy had a wobble but she…she’s gonna have to show something. Rahul’s lost his faith. Briony’s a fighter so she can get through, too. But I’ve been so fond of them, you know? I don’t want to lose anybody. They call Paul old misery guts.
I’m sure you can’t wait to get rid of anybody. They say okay, morning, lovely bakers. You’re gonna have to do a Parisian window full of pastry. Three types of pastry; a choux, a pâte sucrée and a puff pastry mille feuille, or whatever…however you say them. You got five hours. All about finesse. Flavor and decorations are up to you. This is a high-end world of baking, so this is a tough challenge. You gotta get cracking. The cakes are in the windows, you know. Perfection is what Prue…Partisan pâtissière perfection from Prue. No room for error. This is the toughest one ever. This is the kinda thing Prue says…this is the perfect thing you have at the end of a meal, a luxury. If you’ve already eaten French food, it’s gotta be so…look so good that you can’t resist it. Paul says yeah, puff pastry’s the hardest.
Oh, he wants pure perfection. He says yeah, these are amateur bakers but this is the kinda thing you gotta be really good at. Prue says yeah, it doesn’t have to just taste good; it has to look good because yeah, it tempts you into eating it. Three out of four bakers are taking the fast track to flakiness with this colossal challenge. They should have the Great British Alliteration Off. Flavor elements to create. Everybody’s working. Oh, so the rough pastry shortcut is…that’s what goes in the mille feuille or whatever; rough puff instead of a full puff. Grating butter instead of laminating it. That should allow them to do multiple layers in no time. You chill it. Go big or go home. Briony’s…she’s doing laminated butter layers so she’s like yeah, I’m gonna be pushing myself a bit more, but you gotta go for it.
Everything’s riding on it. So, Briony’s doing a full puff pastry, walnut-flavored mille feuille…that’s what it is; mille feuille. I think I have it written somewhere, too. Red choux pastry eclairs with funky white chocolate domes. Paul says this is about professionalism. That’s the way you gotta approach it, as a professional now. It might be difficult to make that jump. But Briony goes you know, I’m tuned in. I’ve been looking up trendy pâtissière pastries and I’m gonna go for it. [00:50:00] Trendy pastries…I’m…Rahul’s…he has a…he goes, I’ve been going down to my local High Street in Sheffield and looking around and looking at the windows. He goes, I’m going for that traditional look. I’d love to be a pâtissièr chef. Just like him, he wants to keep the price down to earth. He’s a pastry chef of the people. What a hero.
Even then, the people’s pâtissièr, Sandi says. So, he’s making some uncharacteristically pared-back things; lemon and blueberry, caramel eclairs, glazed fruit tarts, and a short crust pastry in his tart. Short but buttery. Should have rolled it thicker, he says. Noel says are you good? How’s it going? Are you okay? No pulse, man. He’s not laughing. Pâte sucrée…pâte sucrée…patty pâte sucrée? Patty Sue Cray. Remember Patty Sue Cray? She was the best. She was the fastest runner in my class. Okay, so then we have the tart assembly and going in the oven, and then preparing the fillings which have to be silky smooth. Briony’s making something that’s quite sherberty. Oh no, this is Ruby with her lemon verbena. That’s what deodorant I have on. Sherbert…I’d like to know the English sherbert.
I gotta find out more about that. Paul sneaks some of Rahul’s food while he’s working on it, which stresses him out. Briony’s doing the most ambitious thing. She’s really nervous. Tart filling; most ambitious tart filling. Chocolate dome, cherry mousse, cherry jelly, but it’s gotta set. But she says, I gotta keep going. That’s what I gotta do. They’re halfway through the showstopper. Sandi says…she goes, want me to do it in French? She says something like la plume [inaudible]. After the blind baking starts, you gotta put the tarts back in the oven with the fillings. Somebody says two-and-a-half hours are gone, literally. Literally they’re gone. Mille feuille starts to come together. Briony has a checklist and she goes through that. Okay, done, done, done. Gotta get a full puff. More rolling and resting.
I guess that’s how you do it; you roll it, you rest it. That gives layers when they’re laminated with butter. Noel’s like, kinda bugs Ruby a lot while she’s on her list. She’s like, kinda get away from me. Oh, he writes on her list. Batch, baking, ovens make way or something. A lot to juggle. As if they didn’t have enough to juggle. They gotta keep going ‘cause you have to start work on your third choux pastry. Another Herculean challenge at this stage of the thing…making choux is tricky, Rahul says. I never even heard of choux ‘til this, to be honest. It’s all about stamina. Oh, boy. But yeah, Ruby says I got the stamina; I’m…run a marathon before. In the zone…Sandi says are you ramped up? She goes, yeah. She goes, I’m in the zone; I didn’t even…paying attention to the other bakers.
I’m blocking everything else out and doing what I have to do. Paul says what’s the style…she…for the display? She goes, a bouquet of flowers, so a floral display. Strawberry mint mille feuille, chocolate hazelnut, St. Honorés or something. Lemon verbena toplets topped with meringue. Pretty punchy flavors, Paul says, with that lemon verbena. Heck of a punch. Sandi says…or Prue says make sure the flowers don’t detract from the beauty of your bakes. No edible flowers. So then, Kim-Joy is also doing flowers. She’s also added craquelin to her choux or something. It’s a biscuit but on a choux pastry. Noel says I know a lot about baking. Everything I’ve learned…he goes, I’m gonna bake it all and eat it, and then sleep for a thousand years. Briony’s falling behind. Kim-Joy’s pipe…I mean, Ruby’s piping.
Kim-Joy’s doing a puff nun, religieuse, which is…religieuse or something; religieuse. Looks like a nun. Choux nuns, crunchy craquelin topping, mango and passion fruit tarts with meringue and fresh fruit, and a mille feuille with lemon, blueberry, and feathered icing topic. Sandi says you came back from a wobble. She goes yeah, it’s my proudest moment. I really came through. Kept going. Everybody’s smiling. They say keep going, Kim-Joy. Do your best. Then we get back to the baking. Briony’s playing catch-up. 220 degrees…into the…that’s, I think, Ruby’s thing. I’m gonna have a good sleep after this, somebody says. No time to rest now, though. She was gonna be last [inaudible], then we see some lambs. One hour left. Come on, kids, let’s do this. You can do it. Pastry out, pastry in; pastry out, pastry in.
Then Noel goes up to Rahul. He goes, what are you doing? He goes, slicing my strawberries. He goes, what else are you doing? He goes, dooming. He goes, dooming? What’s that? He goes, oh, feel free to see…stay…see me dooming. Dooming? Is that a new thing? He goes, yeah. All the kids are dooming today. Dooming. I’m very similar. I mean, this is how my mind works, too. Ruby’s trying to open up her hot pastries. A lot of stress. Way too puffy. Pretty sharpish, Briony says about her flavors. Yeah, you look ahead. You gotta…oh, this is Sandi and Ruby. Full bakery in here. You look ahead of the game. Ruby says don’t let the game hear that. Nobody knows if they have enough time. They have to assemble. A lot of work left to do; decorating, putting it together. Thirty-six pastries. No stopping.
Even Kim-Boy’s…Kim-Joy seems like she’s going…Briony’s pastry’s a little bit raw inside. Oh, no. No way to put it back in? Noel says. No. She goes well, it’s a little bit doughy in the middle. It’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright. He gives her a hug and a kiss on the temple. Begins in earnest. Properly raw inside. Keep carrying on. Half an hour. Mille feuille…this is where I wrote it, at the end of the episode. But Kim-Joy…or Ruby says mine’s too tall for a mille feuille. Briony’s getting her tarts done, eclairs, and piping. Rahul’s like, really stressed. This is bad, really bad. Kim-Joy’s puffing up her nuns. Just have to go with it. Okay. This is like, a lot of…holy piping. Rahul’s like, I can’t even fill up my eclairs all the way. Ruby’s fruit’s not staying on her dome properly. One thing I’ve learned is always glaze your fruit.
If you’re gonna be on this show, always glaze your fruits. He had his glaze ready, Rahul, and he says yeah, I need a pastry brush. Noel, can you get me one? He goes, pastry brush? What’s a pastry brush? Let me ask somebody. He goes, it’s basically a brush. He says okay, for brushing pastry. Like a toothbrush but longer. He says he’s gonna ask someone. It seemed like he was serious. Then that’s…Rahul says I don’t think I’m gonna be able to glaze these, anyway. Five minutes. Please stick…and then their time is up. Everybody bargain…this is the bargaining stage. You’re bargaining with your pastries. Step away from your bakes. Briony says it was a mighty cock-up. One of Briony…or Ruby’s…Ruby almost falls after that. She almost falls down; she trips over something.
I think she goes to comfort Briony or Kim-Joy and she almost trips. Let’s see, we have it here. Please stick, Rahul was saying. Step away from your bakes. Oh, well done. Clapping, breathing, mighty cock-up. Ruby hugs Rahul. Kim-Joy says oh, goodness; slumps over. That’s when Ruby almost slips on Briony’s stuff. We get the outside shots. The pastry chef displays now face the judgment of Paul and Prue. Kim-Joy’s up first. Her mille feuille; [01:00:00] very dull look. Dry on the top. Flavor’s wonderful, though. Oh no, that’s not that one. Let’s see. He goes, the whole thing is…they’re supposed to be delicate and small and these look chunky and round, big stuff. This is supposed to be delicate and punching big flavor in small cakes. Let’s start with the mille feuille. Dry top on a mille feuille.
Paul Hollywood does not like it. Looks dull, Prue says. But they eat it and they say…what do they…could have cooked a little longer. Has to be totally crisped which is not good for Briony. Kim-Joy; flavor’s wonderful, though. Paul doesn’t like the look of her next thing. Her tarts, they’re all broken up. Should have used Italian meringue. He bites it. Love the filling, Prue says. Pastry’s good. Paul says let’s just move onto the choux. Doesn’t look too bad. A little bit burnt, a little bit dark. Terrible way to leave…take out a nun. Everybody laughs. This is properly filled though, so that’s the hard part. Nice orange flavor. Quite tart. Paul likes that. Don’t agree with the craquelin. Problem is then you can’t get an even bake. But nice flavor on those. Overall idea…execution wasn’t as good as it could have been.
Then they go to Ruby; really, really, really pretty. We get a good shot of it from above. Very beautifully decorated. Exception of the St. Honores or whatever; too much caramel. Love the idea but they’re all too big. Some of them are huge, so now it’s down to bake and flavor. Puff pastry looks good. Hoping it’s not soft in the middle. Layer’s good, well-baked. A little…not a wet bit in there. Just how it should be. Beautiful, really good. Love the mint. Mint is delicious and delicate. Oh boy, okay. Next one is the shortbread on the bottom. That sounds good, too. Paul steps away. Prue says flavor’s delicious. Paul says clever with the buns and the chocolate filling. Base is fantastic. Crispy all the way through. Pipe work’s good on the tarts. Meringue looks good, but I don’t like un-glazed fruit. That’s one of Paul’s things.
Come on, people. But he says, your lemon curd is powerful. Holy moly. Or Prue says that; so strong. What a strong flavor. Maybe if you add some raspberry coulis in there, that could…then they go to Briony. Massive, clumsy. They start off pretty harsh. Looks a bit thick on the pastry. We were looking for delicacy. Yeah, clumsy. Briony always agrees with them. I would just…mousse runs. Briony comments on that. That’s just…she’s just nice. Potent flavors but the tart is chewy. Too thick, Prue says. These would be…these look good but I would…I could see them, the red cherry things but if they were smaller, I could see them in a shop. He goes what is this, just plain? Then they say it’s salty, very salty. Did you…Briony says I could have mixed up my salt and my sugar. Then the mille feuille.
Briony really is composed though, because…they say this is raw, salty, cooked too much and raw. Caramel’s nice though, but it’s all so salty. She goes, I don’t know. I’m sorry. Prue says Briony, you have to apologize to yourself. You could do better than this. Probably the wrong time to get it wrong. Then Rahul’s; they say not finished. Why didn’t you glaze these? Again. Paul stares at him ‘cause you can’t sell these if they’re not glazed. Noel really frowns at Paul’s attitude. I don’t know…I think they get along though, behind the scenes. Then he tastes it. He says this is classic. Flavor’s good. If it didn’t have the…if it had the glaze, it would be perfect. A little bit thick of a base. Then they go to the eclair. Not completely full. They bite it. Paul’s chewing. Prue says lovely flavor, a bit too much salt, but pastry’s soft.
Pastry’s about right. Top isn’t neat. Caramel’s all over. Paul says this is boring, man, really boring. Prue says I wouldn’t say it’s boring but it’s not the most exciting eclair I’ve ever eaten. Then Paul says this one worries me, the mille feuille. Then they taste it and they say holy moly. I didn’t think I was gonna like this. Delicious. Really good. Looks hideous; tastes amazing. They say thank you. He says the curd, the blueberries, the cream; stunning. Thank you, Rahul, thank you. Then we see Kim-Joy tasting one of her things. Rahul can’t even look up. Then we go outside…the table talk. Okay, semi-final, Parisian window. Is this what you imagined? Almost there. Some of them are nearly there, some off the mark. Rahul didn’t have a good day. Looked terrible. I don’t know what happened to him, Prue says.
He’s definitely taken a step back. Let’s talk Briony. I was surprised. Prue says this was the day to pull out all the stops and be your best. If you got your salt and your sugar confused…and maybe that’s what happened. Ruby did overall well. Love her choux, biscuit base; that actually worked. Fabulous flavors, Prue says. Pastry was beautiful. They liked the idea of Kim-Joy’s thing. Pretty good. Flavors were there but I didn’t enjoy the craquelin, Paul says. But of course they say that if they were gonna eat…had to eat one thing it would be Rahul’s mille feuille. So sensational. Sandi’s even eating one to test it out. She can’t get it in there. Double-decker mini-bus, the biggest thing I’ve ever seen. You won’t have to eat for a week. Then we go back.
This is it, the moment we haven’t been waiting for ‘cause we love these four so much. They say okay, lovely bakers, thanks for getting through. Noel gets the job of announcing the Star Baker. He says Star Baker is Ruby but it’s a subtle thing because they’re worried. Everybody’s holding hands. Ruby does smile and cover her face and everybody else is happy for her, really happy. On a roll, baby girl, on a roll. Sandi tries to be professional but she was really close to these players so she goes, it’s tricky because we’re so fond. I might cry now too just because Sandi’s powerful, man. Force of nature in this tent. Wow, I’m really feeling it and I’m…’cause Briony’s great, man. She spent a lot of time with her, too. Sandi says I’m afraid it’s Briony that we’re gonna lose. Briony’s…you know, it’s emotional.
So sorry, my friend, so sorry. Thank you for your kind words. Briony says yeah, it’s sad to not be going through, but I made it very far. What an experience. My musketeer, Ruby calls her. Prue says nobody wanted to see Briony go. She’s good at being…coming back when things didn’t go well. Briony talks about her love of baking. I’m proud of myself, so…I’m very proud of myself. Rahul kinda stares. He’s in shock. The person who never baked a single cake until his 29th birthday is a finalist. Then everybody hugs each other. Fantastic final Paul was expecting. Artistic flair, bring their A game. It’s gonna be the best final ever, I promise you. Ruby tells Noel I bet you’re shocked. Kim-Joy was hoping…so then everybody has two Star Bakers. The most evenly-balanced final ever, right? She looks off-camera and the episode ends. So, that’s it and we’ll be back soon with the final episode of this season of the Great British Baking Bake Off to Sleep. Goodnight, everybody.
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