869 – World Walking Reverse Kondo | Get Besos S3 E8
In a world where former mall walkers, walk among the distracted our heroes will meander their way towards a sleepy and subversive solution.
EPISODE 869 – World Walking Reverse Kondo Get Besos S3 E8
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Hey everybody, this is Drew. This episode was recorded a little while ago. I just wanted to let you know this podcast is here so you can feel less alone day or night. We’re gonna keep coming out Sunday and Wednesday nights as usual but if you need more help, reach out for help. I have a list of resources in the show notes if you’re looking for more help in this current time ‘cause I’m here to try to support you with that. Thanks. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and all my patron peeps; patrons, thanks for being there. Hello. How are you doing? I’m so glad you’re here listening to this episode. I’m so glad I get to make this show and to help you…put you to sleep. So, what do you say we get on with the show?
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally or physically. So, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in schedule or routine, or just baffling stuff. Or something else; it could be anything. You could work the second or third shift, you could be traveling for work, your job could involve travel or you’re working someplace else than where you live. All of those things. I’ve heard from a lot of you and I want to know…you to know, like, I want you to know I really want to see you. I mean that in a deep way and that’s why I open the show the way I do.
That’s why I try to talk about a lot of different things because while there’s a lot of different people who listen to the show going through a lot of different things and whatever’s keeping you up or getting in the way of you getting a good night’s sleep, we all share something. I mean, we share a lot of things but that feeling…the preference, I put it lightly, I’d rather be…I’d prefer to just go right to sleep, right? Why doesn’t that just happen for me? Or you know, it’s something more than just words and if you listen to this podcast, if you’re new, I hope you can relate and I wish you didn’t have to relate. If you’re a regular listener, you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s not just a thought. It is a…there’s a physical and an emotional element to it, too. But let’s see if I can put words to it, I’d say it would not be an…S-U-C-K-S, is that how…S-U-C-K…is that a…that’s how you spell that word, right? It stinks, so I’m here to try to help, I guess is what I’m saying, if you’re new.
I’m so glad you’re here. I say that a lot on this show but I want to say it upfront; I’m really glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I appreciate you checking this show out and I’m so honored. Those of you new or regular listeners, I’m profoundly thankful to be in a position where I get to tell you a bedtime story and that you’re here checking it out and giving me your time, but that I’m also in a position to help. I don’t know, it’s such an honor but what am I doing, if you’re new…here to take your mind off stuff…trouble getting to sleep, trouble…I get mixed up, sorry. Whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical…whatever it is, I’m gonna try to take your mind off of that stuff and the way I’m gonna do it is I got this safe place I’m carving out. You might not say…maybe you could say I’m scooping it out too, or I’m smoothing it, I’m patting it, I’m rubbing it down, I’m saying safe place. It’s a nice safe place and it can be delivered to you or sent your way but there’s space for you, plenty of space. You may be…prefer not be seen, you know?
You say well, I get the idea of being seen, Scoots, but I’m gonna be here. I say that’s cool, that’s why I tried to invent that thing called sloakes which was a cloak and a blanket. Different than a Snuggie or whatever. I’ve been really thinking about getting a cape. Not that you asked, but…or a cloak. I mean, I’d prefer a cloak but a cloak and a cape are pretty close. I would prefer something less shiny. I don’t want a satin superhero cape now that we’re talking about this but I don’t want anything that’s made from burlap, either. Looking for something that’s soft, looks rough, but that feels good. I don’t know. Oh, what am I gonna do, though? I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna forget what I was talking about, I’m gonna get distracted and talk about stuff like cloaks or sloakes. I even forget…it’s been years since I talked about the sloake.
I tried to invent it and then I forgot what it was. But it was like, a cloak…I mean, a hooded sweatshirt I guess is the closest thing that we have today to a cape and a cloak, right? I guess it would be good, too, if it was one of those…you know those jackets and stuff that you can fit…oh, it fits in its own tiny pouch. It’s got its own stuff sack. If I could tell you the amount of times I’ve heard stuff and sack in the same sentence having to do with this podcast…but that’s not with the sloakes. Oh, if you’re new. I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep. A few things to know if you’re new; totally understandable if you’re doubtful or you’re like, what is this? Or, you know, the podcast, it can be a bit different even structurally because the show starts off with a few minutes of business and that’s really how we keep it free for everybody. Some people are surprised by that but it does take hundreds and hundreds of hours a month to put this podcast out and keep it out. You know, there’s a lot of stuff behind-the-scenes.
Not important because the business keeps it free, but it is not…you know, it’s just the way we do it. I’d say well, it’s the most convenient way to do the most of that upfront when we can. That’s just the way we do it, is try to do as much of it upfront as we can, then…so that’s a bit…then there’s an intro. So, there’s about four or five minutes of business, then there’s an intro. The intro is about twelve to eighteen minutes of me just talking about the podcast. For new listeners, it’s a way so you know what you’re getting into because it is so different. One, I don’t really get to the point. I mean, it takes me fourteen minutes to get to the point of telling you what the podcast is. The real secret is that this is a podcast you don’t really need to listen to. You can; listening is optional. I guess I should have said that. How come I never thought of that? Sleep With Me; listening’s optional. It’s a podcast you don’t really need to listen to. There are listeners that listen and there are listeners that don’t listen.
I don’t know what to call them other than listeners or they’re kind of listening in a mumble. This is a podcast you don’t need to listen to. Oh, I got mixed up. I was talking about the structure and then I changed subjects, but it’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to. Structurally, so, the intro goes on for about twelve to twenty minutes and you get a sense, if you’re new, of what the podcast is like but for most regular listeners, when it becomes part of your routine which does take two or three tries; millions of people have said it took me two or three tries before I realized that the podcast doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and I’m just falling asleep to it or listening and unwinding. Give it a few tries. But the regular listeners, like 90…if, yeah, I guess the statistics are accurate. Like, 96% or something listen to the intro and in that 96%, people use it different ways. Some people are getting ready for bed as they listen and they’re starting their bedtime prep.
It’s part of everybody’s wind-down routine in a different way. Then there’s listeners that are in bed or in their bedroom and they’re starting to wind-down. Maybe they’re stretching, maybe they’re doodling, or they’re knitting, or they’re brushing their hair, or they’re brushing their pets. Whatever it is, part of your wind-down. Then there’s listeners that are already in bed and cuddled up already, snuggled in. Oh, you look so nice, so snuggled up. Here, let me move that blankie-poo for you. Like that? Okay, what about…should I poof this pillow or puff it? Oh, pat it. Okay. Those listeners are kind of already starting to wind-down in a different way; they’re getting comfortable, they’re sinking in, [00:10:00] and they’re drifting off. The whole idea of the intro is because it takes a little time for most of us. If sleep was instant, right, you wouldn’t need this podcast. That would be my…this podcast is here to ease you into bedtime because I kind of have always felt on-and-off throughout my life, like, I was never easing into bedtime.
I was dreading it, not looking forward to it. It was a…me and sleep, a contentious relationship at times. So, I’m here to make this a little bit of a smoother…like, you transition to sleep instead of a switch. That’s the intro, the purpose it serves, and you can skip it. Oh, yeah, that’s what I said; 2% to 4% of listeners skip the…start the show at about twenty minutes and then they listen and then eventually after this intro, there will be some business. That’s, again, part of keeping the podcast out there and not as part of, like, one of those services. Then there’s a story. Tonight, it’ll be an episodically modular story so you can listen to it in any order, but it’s a series with recurring characters that hopefully will become your friends. You say well, I look forward to hearing from Richard Warren and James Cash, and Jiff, my kind of friends. Then there’s some thank yous at the end. That’s the structure of the show. I did cover the fact you don’t need to listen to me.
The other thing is, and there’s more and more sleep podcasts every day. This is not a podcast, actually, that puts you to sleep. This is more of a podcast that keeps you company as you fall asleep so I’m more of your bedtime companion, your bore-friend, your bore-bud, a story-teller who’s…you don’t have to pay attention to or listen to their stories. They’re just telling stories for your benefit but mostly the benefit of taking your mind off of stuff. Yeah. Almost like picturing me…I mean, I don’t want you to picture me in an angelic way because…but in the…just in this image that we’re walking on a cloud together, side-by-side. Eventually you’re just drifting off or maybe I’m drifting off and you’re floating off into dreamland. I guess you’re floating off into dreamland but I’m just kind of walking and lightly mumbling. Yadda-yadda…you know, that kind…you say Scoots, you gonna talk about…if you were on a cloud, would you have a cape? I would say well, I guess in this case it would have to be…don’t angels have some sort of cloaks?
I mean, aren’t robes and cloaks pretty close anyway? But yeah, if you’re on a cloud, you’d better believe…what better situation to have a cloak then on a cloud? Because you want to be able to adjust your temperature at all times. One, it could be breezy; you might want your hood on. You might want to wrap it all the way around you ‘cause the one thing about a cloak, is it’s also a blanket. I think that’s why they used to use it when they were traveling around back when they didn’t have climate control. You say oh, well, I could throw this…it could be a second blanket or my primary blanket, or if I’m sleeping sitting up. Yeah, if you’re on a cloud, bring a cloak. I mean, holy…or if not, a jacket or, you know, a couple layers and some screen because if the sun’s out and you’re on top of the cloud, you’re gonna need some screen. You’re probably gonna want to be down to short sleeves while the sun’s there. But then if some higher-altitude clouds come or you pass into the evening zone, I bet you it’s brisk up there.
Facts aside, real world aside, this is the fantasy world but it’s still gonna be a little chilly. This cloak…’cause you know what’s underestimated, where the cloak people had a right. They said you know what’s cold on your back? Cold wind. Cold wind at your back. Maybe poets might write about it, but it’ll give you a chill so wear a cloak. Also, this episode is sponsored by cloaks. Cloaks, you know, the bespoke cloaks by the folks that make the bespo…that’s supposed to be bespoke cloaks. Yeah, Bespoke Cloaks. That’s the folks that make bespoke cloaks. That’s the name of their company; Bespoke Cloaks. Probably already a company. Send me a cloak and some dinero, you know? I think that’s…I’m trying to think of what else I need to cover. Oh, so this is a podcast that’s not meant to put you…I mean, it puts you to sleep. It’s meant to put you to sleep but it’s more meant to be here as you fall asleep. Then the reason that I say that is one, if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here ‘til the very end. There is a percentage of listeners that are…they can’t fall asleep or just situationally or regularly.
I make this show with them in mind. It’s almost like I can talk to them and they can listen and have some comfort and you can kind of barely listen while you’re asleep and maybe some part of your brain is still listening. The episodes are always complete and I’m always here because I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s the most important thing. That’s my driving force. If I have the opportunity to give you a good night’s sleep or enable that or just be one part of that, that’s my honor because the world is just gonna be a darned better place if you get a little more rest. You might say yeah, well, I’m in Kalamazoo; how’s that gonna impact you, Scoots? I say well, we know it will. We know these little tiny things. If you have a better day even if I don’t know about it, the day is better. It’s really that simple. Or I mean, maybe…I don’t even know what being Pollyanna means, but maybe I’m just a Pollyanna about it. I’m happily…’cause I can picture myself…I think Pollyanna probably would have nice, long hair and a floral print dress or jumper.
I could be running through places…I picture her running through fields. I would just be singing the joy that you got some rest and had a good night’s sleep. I’d be running through the fields like that and that would be nice. If that’s a Pollyanna, I am. Anybody that knows about Pollyanna, you will tell me more about it. I’ll try to Google it. I don’t know; that’s why I make this show, really because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like on the other side of that or not-getting-enough-rest side of things. It’s important and you know what? You’re important. Don’t let that other part of you say oh, see? I told…no, your rest and your self-care is important. I guess that’s it. I mean, that’s why I make this show. Oh, the other side of it; unfortunately, this podcast does not work for everybody so you may have already figured that out, but maybe you’re on the fence. Give the episode a few tries and see how it goes ‘cause I really do hope it works for you and it does work for a lot of people, even people…I just heard from two roommates and one of the roommates was a regular listener; the other one was like, those creaky, dulcet tones are not my thing.
Eventually…now they both listen. Shout-outs to those listeners somewhere in Texas, according to Twitter. Yeah, I don’t know, I make this show because I want to help. I hope it helps you so give it a few tries and see how it goes. If it doesn’t, I wish it worked for you. I would try…I mean, for me, meditation, foam rolling, and multiple fans is my…is that’s my cup of tea. But there’s other stuff out there. Sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has some other shows, so check that out. But really, like I said at the beginning of the show, I’m so glad you’re here and I’m really appreciative of you giving me this chance to help you get some rest, so I really hope I can. I think I expressed that in a clear way. So, I’m really glad you’re here. I work very hard and I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by and here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep this podcast free for everybody.
Alright, hey everybody, we’re back with another episode of our module…episodically modular series Get Besos. That means that you can listen to it in any order. They’re kind of like modules you could move around, for the most part. This episode, you could definitely listen to it in any order. Get Besos is the tale of Richard Warren Sears and James Cash Penney, two fictional characters living…at the start of most of our tales, they start off living in purgatory. That’s a generic term; you say well, I prefer this, and I say okay, I get it, I get it. It just makes it easier for me to explain. Living in purg…they escape from purgatory. This is the story part, and they return to Earth to try to catch…get Jiff Besos, the founder of a company called Imzon.com. That was…the first two seasons were adventures like that but the third season started out [00:20:00] pretty much the same way. Jiff was actually in purgatory with them but then Jiff escaped purgatory to go try to get this other character Z-Biff who has a social sharing shopping platform, ubiquitous in this world.
Jiff headed to that world very much like Earth. A matter of fact, we call it Earth on the show even though it’s Hearth. It’s a silent H from now moving forward. Jiff escaped purgatory, headed to Earth to get Z-Biff, and then James Cash Penney and Richard Warren Sears said well, we gotta go help Jiff not get in trouble. How’d he get to purg…how’d he get to someplace that’s not purgatory? Probably by getting people. Even if it’s to just give them a quiet, gentle scolding. They headed to Earth to try to get Jiff, hence the title of the series Get Besos. But Jiff had left behind a list. He did leave a clue which was a list of people impacted by the Z-Biff social media shopping and sharing platform; communities, lives, where you say well, I used to do things this way. Now I gotta do everything on Z-Biff. They’ve been headed…they don’t know where Jiff is on the list so they’re just going through the list and trying to help the people impacted by the social shopping platform. At the same time, either hoping to find Jiff or get to Z-Biff before Jiff does.
Then I guess they would…I don’t know what they would do; wait for Jiff and then say hey Jiff, let’s go home back to purgatory. Let’s get back there, right? Purgatory; at least we’re there. That’s what they say there. That’s one of their taglines; at least you’re here. You could be…purgatory; it’s not quite…it’s not half-bad even though you think it is. It’s neither half-bad or…nor half-good. It’s really dull. That’s the series. You could listen to it in any order, like I said. This is very…it’s very procedural with a touch of seriality just to keep things going. The procedure, as I explained, is they go on the list, they say that’s what’ll happen in this…I’d say huh, this happened to these people, or this community, impacting it. How can we…what can we do? That’s our series Get Besos. This is our world-famous…world-famous for so many things but mostly his ability to perform as an actor, Mr. Antonio Banderas. Thank you, thank you. The ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, the friends beyond the binary, it’s time for another episode of Get Besos. Yeah.
Thanks, Antonio. Antonio’s got a busy work schedule so Antonio’s gonna lie down in my bed on top of…as always, on top of my show comforter which I put on there. He’s laughing ‘cause he knows I’m too lazy to have a show comforter even though I say that. He saw right through it three weeks ago. I said Antonio, I’m gonna put my…lie on my show comforter. He said Scooter, let’s dispense with the illusions. I said what do you mean? He said one, this is a duvet. He pointed that out. I said okay, okay, fair enough. A duvet cover…he said also, this is…he said this is…it’s clear that this is yours. I said is it the rumpled way I walk? That’s a song from a musical but he said it is, and I said well, could you just pretend it’s a show comforter? Because that way it maintains my illusion of boundaries that I…you just have trouble processing it.
You know, I just like to have my own privacy. Even if…I’m sure every listener listening right now; if Brad Pitt came along and said he’d just like to lie on the top of your bed for a while, you’d say well, I mean, I realize you’re Brad Pitt or in this case Antonio Banderas, but first of all, shoes off or have…and booties over your socks. Secondly, I’m not…I don’t know. Every person in the world would say that. They’d say I’m sorry Mr. Pitt, but I just can’t have you lying on my bed because…he’d say well, why not? With his devastated…’cause that’s what Antonio said the first time. Antonio has more of an amused…bemused look where I feel like when I ask Brad Pitt not to lie on my bed, he can’t even give me…like, are you kidding me, buddy? Look, I mean, it’s just common sense. Or I guess I’m the only one. The rest of my brain just pointed it out. Anyway, this is…welcome to the next episode of Get Besos. Thanks, everybody.
Buddy, buddy, buddy. Let’s see, I’m running through this list here, James. This one has a lot of research. How do you feel about us…I like the story-telling thing we do, James, to prepare and make sure we’re both on the same page so what if we go through what we think we’re expecting we’re supposed to be doing here? Just see if we could…by making it into a slight few-minute story, come up with some ideas of how to deal with this situation this Z-Biff’s got us in now. Oh Richie, I love that idea. No, James, you go first. Okay, yeah, I’m just refreshing my memory here. Okay Richie, let me see here. Okay, once upon a time there was a world where there was these…once upon a time there was a world called Pedestria where everyone walked everywhere. There was no vehicles in pedestrian areas. The vehicles were all automated and that had all been figured out. People were used to being driven places by automated vehicles run by a great…it wasn’t called a monopoly; it was called a ubiquitous platform.
It guided the vehicles everywhere and actually made it…it worked out for the benefit of…not in the majority of people but in a plurality of people. Those people could use their devices while they were being driven. It was a very, very convenient and effective and actually cost-effective for…and they even had subsidies and even saw the…whoa, maybe we could help with public transit, though it wasn’t the same. That’s what everybody said. But in Pedestria which was actually a…it was a thing…it was a place you were, not a place you are. Buddy, I don’t know what that means. I don’t know, I just thought it sounded good, Richie. But so, there were zones where you can have vehicles and people would walk. Actually because of that, more and more people started walking. For people that loved walking, it was great. For people that didn’t like walking, you had to. You could…you would harrumph a little bit and then you would realize you weren’t walking anymore.
Or maybe you couldn’t get over that, but the one thing that happened maybe was that the people from the transit lanes, the transit world, were used to using those devices and moving around. They couldn’t unlearn that, so a lot of them would walk around using their devices. They would bump into people or some people, they just didn’t like it because on some maybe vestigial level, they said I don’t…I find this objectionable. You’re walking around distracted. Some people would have trouble navigating the curbs and I don’t know; it just created a situation that we have to deal with now. The end. Buddy, buddy, buddy, that was…James, I guess you don’t…maybe…James, just try to follow along with…I don’t know. James, that was not helpful. I mean, it was more of like a factual retelling without the important facts. Okay Richie, why don’t you do better? I think I will, James, because did you read the first…okay. You’re just asking more of me. I get it.
Once upon a time, James, long ago, in more than one world, as a matter of [00:30:00] fact, as we know now, there was a dawn of invention that even some of us witnessed right here; climate control, where you could control the temperature indoors to make it a temperate…not too hot, not too cold, no matter what the weather outside was. This changed the way people lived, James, and at some point, climate-controlled shopping centers became a thing. Little did we know that they wouldn’t stay a thing and that their anchor tenants would be…you know, that…I didn’t realize this would be so loaded, James, for me because I have strong feelings about anchor tenants and climate-controlled…they called them malls, though. Thanks for that look, James. That got me back on track. While the malls, for a time, made our big…some big new businesses bigger, easier to go from an amazing store like Sears to other stores that were lesser-known. You’d go there afterwards.
Maybe they had the second or third best anchor tenants. Maybe you just wanted to get a family portrait. Well, you could have done that at Sears, I think. You wanted to see…I’m just kidding, James. I was making fun of JC Penney’s, by the way. I got that, Richie. But one of the unheralded great things about the mall was the ability to walk in climate control. Oh boy, did a lot of people benefit and enjoy walking in the mall. It was a glorious time for the mall-walkers, as we’ll call them from here on out. But then a dark time came, not just for the mall-walkers, James, when buffoons like Jiff and Z-Biff decided that they would just shortcut the way we’d always done…since the dawn of time, always done business in person. By catalogue, it’s different. It’s just different; don’t try to explain that to me because it’s still tactile. They had had enough of tactile world, these entrepreneurs. They didn’t think about the other fall-outs like the poor mall-walkers who would be left with either a place to walk with no cheese samples or craftsmen hardware to oogle over and plan out your purchases.
No fountains or food courts. It was a sad time for these mall-walkers but they still needed to walk, as it’s known as a great way to pass the time and you know, to keep things up, to keep it going. For some, a place of social interaction and fun. Eventually, those mall-walkers returned to the world, James. They left as these malls closed. They said we’ll go to a superstore. They said the lights aren’t right. The ceiling…that’s like walking around a warehouse, not a climate-controlled piece of paradise. We need to go to other stores before…to see the…how the quality of Sears outshines the mall in a convenient…in the mall. But no, you know how it goes. Jiff and Z-Biff and all the rest, they knew better. The mall-walkers returned to the world but what they found was the world had changed in the time they relocated to places where the climate was naturally not bad. They went out to places like this Pedestria and started walking.
Pedestrian zones which would have been like the mall; no cars, but they found it was overrun with people staring at the screens, bumping in…making it inconvenient to walk. They just didn’t like it and they said why, oh why? What has wrought my walk so far? James, I think that was better than your line. Yeah Richie, I don’t…I think…yeah. Oh, that was great Richie, thanks. They looked to the sky and said maybe two hero…maybe a hero and an assistant will come and unwrought us from this peril we are in ‘cause we just want to walk without having be bumped…or just be…what are you looking at? I’m trying to walk here. The end. Okay Richie, that’s pretty good. Actually, that was good because that’s who we’re meeting with. Here’s the World Walkers Working Group. We’re gonna meet with them and come up with a solution because they don’t…all the people using their devices…it doesn’t always make it hard to walk, from what I’m seeing here, but it gets on their nerves and it makes it hard to walk sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, James. I’m just wondering at the solutions because this feels like this is just another…feels like we’re stuck in this situation where we keep repeating the same procedures and then I keep…we keep objecting to this. Then we find that all roads lead back to Z-Biff and this just seems like another one. We could brainstorm this, James, but I think it’s going to end in micropayments advertising support and humanity. Do you have any brainstorms beyond that? Well yeah, I was thinking of…well, if we to stop people from walking and using your phones, you could say that yeah, it’s annoying, it’s a little bit selfish, it’s not very nice to look at people walking, looking at their devices. They’re missing out on stuff. They’re distracted ‘cause they’re used to being distracted when they’re in a vehicle ‘cause they don’t need to…they’re being driven. The automated driving…it’s kind of unnecessary; you just could just sit down…I could see all the objections the Working Group has.
Yeah, and then there’s the phone-users side which would say well, this is my choice or this is…I need to look at this right…it means the same thing, James. It does feel like we’re going through this…like, what are we gonna do, James? Come up with more win-win…I guess I’m tired of coming up with win-win ideas. Yeah, no, I feel you because it feels like we were coming up with these kind of win-win situations and then recently, we thought about oh, what about that CBT or what about forcing Z-Biff…you know when we used to talk about…oh, if you produce the packaging that your product’s in, you’re also responsible for the packaging. Remember that one? Yeah, I mean, when I was…I don’t know the…that would have just changed a lot of pricing, so the consumer would have to be ready for that. Well, that was already an idea that we were trying…okay, maybe that was somebody else I was talking to. Oh boy. So, what is it, James? I mean, I don’t know what is it.
It’s…I guess we’re just fed up because it’s like oh, everybody kind of wins and then it’s like oh, the easiest way to do this is to make it a win-win but as long as Z-Biff gets 4% of whatever the…you know, the platform micropayment rate. Yeah James, I don’t know how else to say it and I don’t…I think I can put your words…it’s like, not the most appealing thing I’ve ever said but I feel like the inside of a B-A-N-D-A-I-D. Yeah, that’s…I mean, that’s…but that’s exactly…James, I don’t even want to help anybody. Well Richie, yeah, I mean I guess I’m not exactly the most helpful person in history, either. I don’t always want to help everybody. I probably have a history of not…just doing what I wanted to do and running my business and all…and living my life. I mean James, if it wasn’t for Jiff and his nonsense, we wouldn’t be doing this. I mean, I guess that’s not true. It feels like there’s opportunity; it just feels like the solutions are leaving us. Okay James, let’s get serious here.
If this situation was different and you were just sitting in purgatory reading through the newspaper or whatever, me and Jiff were off playing a video game and then you came across the article about the mall-walkers and the [00:40:00] phone-walkers, what would…do you think you’d read the article, even? I mean yeah, ‘cause I think that mall-walking is interesting. Yeah, we have a personal connection to malls. Okay, maybe it’s a bad example. What if you had…what if you had a list of problems. Would this be the first problem you picked to solve? Okay, I guess…I understand what you’re saying is I’d probably pick something like hunger or people…trying to help people. Yeah, I guess I would pick a more…a problem I connect with in a deeper way. But the problem, Richie, is that this Z-Biff platform has brought…these are the problems in the forefront now. Those other problems are still around but these…remember you were talking about tactile stuff like mall-walking or being in the mall. This is more tactile than the actual thing…other things that got to…it has…right, James.
I talked about it; it makes you clench a little. Yeah, it gets everybody’s attention. It could be universal and local at the same time, like these people walking around on their phones. It takes people off in a way…I don’t know. James, it has this non-personal yet interpersonal visceralness. Non-personal but interpersonal visceral…you’re right, almost. People choose that…has a tactile function, I guess…or not even a function. James, it’s almost like people…it’s like characters in a TV show or something. That might be it, Richie. What do you mean? Well, I guess we kind of lost our way. I mean, that’s how we started out, was…oh, James, you’re right. Holy cow, we forgot all about Marie Kondo and the dog…Cesar, the dog whisperer. We could…I don’t know what that has to do with this, so…well, here’s what I think we could do, is…I have an idea; we’ll get in the autocar here and head to…we’re supposed to meet with this Walkers Working Group. We could start a reality show and lean into how we’re feeling with the reality show.
Okay James, you got my attention. What will we do? Well, instead of making it better for the walkers and the phone-users…oh, we make it worse? Yeah, I guess that we could try that. We’ve tried everything else. We’ve been trying this whole time to make all these win-win situations and finding that we have to deal with this since some surface and sub-textuality, we can’t grasp onto things because we don’t have oven mitts. James, the other thing is if we make it worse, we might be…that’s probably what’s Jiff’s doing, wherever Jiff is, unintentionally. So, if we intentionally make it worse…well yeah, as a part of a TV show though, Richie. We’re not gonna actually make it worse. What I’m envisioning is we make it worse…you’ll see. We’re almost there. I’m thinking of some ideas. Just talk about Jiff right now and then I’m gonna send this stuff out. Okay, well yeah, I think Jiff’s…Jiff had…Jiff has a disaster touch, James. That makes everything worse. I’m glad you agree with me.
We’re better off together but it’s a good thing we don’t have to clean up Jiff’s messes. We’re just trying to stay one step ahead of Jiff. Yeah, yeah, okay, so we’re gonna pull…here’s what I figured out, because you actually took a…while you were…after you talked, you fell asleep and we were in a four-hour car ride there. Oh, really, James? Yeah, but it felt like ten seconds. What if we do a reverse-Kondo? Do you have any idea what I mean? We make it messy. Yeah, so whatever, the World Walkers Working Group is ready for us. There’s also some citizenship and town groups and business associations, state representatives; they’re all gonna be observing this and they’re all excited. This is a town that’s where they shoot movies and stuff but it’s made to look just like a town. We’ve got the walkers there and we’ve got everything set up just like a town and their role is just to enjoy walking. If they could do that, we’ve told them…you know, we haven’t told them everything but…okay, James.
I have a feeling I know what you’re…yeah, so see, they’re all walking. We’re up on this platform. Those are all the World Walker walking groups. Some of those are other representatives. But James, what do you have set up there in this…this is very classic town square set up, very Americana. Yeah, I mean, this is kind of what they’re recreating in these pedestrian zones, or something like it. Almost like a European…oh yes, I can tell by the street lamps, James. Yeah, they do have nice street lamps. Wow, I like your appreciation. But so, yeah, we have different…there’s different places for them to sample food and drinks, and a lot of good walking. Now, in about ten seconds we’re gonna release the phone-users. So, not only have we made the strongest data here but we’ve given a lot of the phone-walkers these attachments so they don’t even have to hold their phones. It’ll hold the phone right in front of them if they wish. Their phones are also gonna be triggering rewards; there’s a game built-in so as they walk through the town, the phone-users could play the game and earn points and snacks and gift cards and stuff like that.
All of the faux businesses we have set up here are able to purchase advertising. It’s very Z-Biffy. Oh James, what if I would prefer to opt out? Yeah, you could pay to opt out. Okay James, it’s not going…we’ve made it worse for the walkers. They’re stopping…most of them are stopping walking. There’s so many people. Yeah, we’ve told most of the…we’ve told all the phone people remember, don’t bump into people when you’re using your devices. Yeah, but I think it’s just so…they’re using their phones even more so it’s definitely worse for the walkers, huh, James? Yeah, but they’re all crossing their…so, let’s…okay, there’s the…yeah, they’re kind of gathering into a group, so let’s…hey everybody, hey. I’m from the TV…this is for our TV show. We know we got you here and this is for a TV show called Make it Worse. Do you feel like that was worse than your normal walking experience? Oh, everybody’s hand is raised. Okay, I can hear your harrumphs.
I’m here with my leader here RW, but I’m the person that made all the bad choices that you seem displeased with, so RW had a totally different idea. Yeah, a much better idea. Don’t worry; this is James, he’s gonna fix it for all of you. You kind of felt like that was a lot of…you think you…if you would go back to your community, would you think that the normal phone usage would still…oh, it would still get on your…oh, make you more aware now that you’ve seen…oh, you think maybe they were using the phones the same as…by you, but do people by you bump into you more? Yeah, we did tell them try to not bump into anybody. This town doesn’t have any curbs or anything so yeah, I guess they could walk without tripping a lot. But here’s the good news; we’re gonna try to make it…the name of the show is Make it Worse, so we have another town right next door to this town. This is a studio, by the way. You’re all gonna be on TV maybe, but this is just a pile of…we don’t know if it’ll actually make the air.
We’re gonna go to this other town and we’re gonna try to make it worse for the people using their…oh, wait a second. Let’s just do a brainstorm ‘cause I’m thinking that you probably have a different idea of…we had some data outages and stuff. How would you…okay, you’re telling me how you would make it worse. No, we don’t have anything with like, fish or yeah, those types of fish in there. No, we won’t [00:50:00] put poles at groin-level. That’s not a…I mean, that would make it worse, you’re right. Always raining; well, that would make it worse for everybody so we could do that. I could see a lot of ways we could make it worse for everybody. Yeah, we could make it worse but those kind of ways of making it worse aren’t really respectful. Oh, well, you’re right. I don’t know if they’re respectful of your ability to walk and enjoy your walking. Totally; we’re not actually here…we’re only in search of making things worse. I guess we’re making things worse for you even as we talk.
Yeah, James is making it worse just by…you’re making it worse by making it worse, James. You’re a natural. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I can hear all your ideas. You’re still telling me your ideas but think about the golden…would you want to be on the end of that? What if the people using their phones said what about those phones just walking around like they own this…like they have a right to walk free? I realize you do; I'm just making an argument. Okay, so you all feel very strongly about this. Excuse me, James, hey everybody, I just wanted to say one thing. I don’t know if I personally could think of a worse existence than just walking around staring at something, oblivious to the world anyway, where you’re being advertise…you’re paying to be advertised to by someone…a trillion…to enable a trillionaire platform. You’re just kind of barely being entertained or whatever. Yeah Richie, they don’t…but they don’t even realize that’s happening, James.
What if we just…what does everybody think? We just explain that to them. We just see if they like this idea, James. What if there was a button on their phone and every few minutes, they had an idea like…they say well, you know how much Z-Biff just made off of advertising off of you in the last fifteen minutes? Also, you paid your…that would…they have to say hey, send…what if they just had to send that money directly to Z-Biff? Keep walking in oblivion. Send Z-Biff fifteen cents. Total lifetime contributions by you to Z-Biff; $4.48. Compounded annually times one billion people. Z-Biff’s current net worth…yeah, I don’t think that’s working either, Ja…I mean, Richie. James, you’re mixed up. Some of them like the idea. Now, I like the…I mean, I see that’s making it worse. You’re right, but I can’t argue with you there. But I guess the thing is, what if they don’t care? That’s what it always circles back to. One, we have to do it through Z-Biff, and then two, we keep having to learn this every time; either people don’t care or they’re unaware.
This is where we keep…we’re right back where we…oh, Richie. Yeah, James, it’s like…it’s like they don’t get it. They’re not missing out on enough. What do you mean? Well, whatever they’re distracted by outweighs everything…whether it’s unawareness or just apathy or saying hey, this is what I want to do that outweighs…I think that’s one thing we’ve been learning, that either there’s not a choice being made but we were well beyond that, years beyond that. Yeah, and then we can’t do anything. It just doesn’t feel like if we do anything punitive or restrictive or deprive people, it always short-circuits there. I don’t know, so is there a way to do what you’re saying and still make it worse? James, it’s almost like we’ve gotta give them…we gotta really make them miss out. They have to become aware they’re missing out on something that they want, almost, do you know what I’m saying? I kinda do know what you’re saying, Richie.
It has to outweigh…for them, it has to push them over. What if…thanks for listening in, everybody. What if we make it…here’s something; walkers, everybody, what do you think about this; we make walking so great for all of you and so participative and so many different layers and so many different appeals, those small-scale ways that you could all be involved in if you so choose, that the people using their phones, they’d just be missing out. Richie, keep going. So, it’d be opt-in, not opt-out, fun, free. If we could use Z-Biff, that’s great. Okay, so Richie, everybody…what’s everybody…okay, games, but not games online. Okay. More street art. I love that idea. Chalk art, okay. Always smiling, yeah, I think that’s a really important thing, and saying hello to people. But you’re right; no passive aggressive hellos. You’re saying hello for you. You’re giving them the gift of hello and you’re expecting nothing in return. I love that, ma’am. You’re giving it away free instead of saying hello like hello see me, or hello, hear my hello.
Maybe that’s…Richie, that’s where the…we could get a…maybe we’d do self-esteem…is there a way to…do we have any experts on building self-esteem that we could build…oh, we do. Thank you. High-fives; some people might want to do high-fives. I’m on the fence about that. Oh, gifts. Oh, geocaches, I like that idea. That already exists. Crafts, painted rocks; okay. Treasure hunts, those are good things. Trees, yeah, air, flowers, oh boy. Smells…James, what about like a museum or at the Trader Joe’s that we went to? Richie, what do Trader Joe’s and a museum have to do with one another? They have the stands where you go up to the person and they give you something or they tell you about something and they’re really interested in it. Oh, like free samples…so, free samples? That’s one thing. I was thinking more of…I don’t know the word. Like a docent? Yeah, James. That’s it; like life docents. Okay, so like someone that’s so excited about the smells in the air but it’s understood they’re a member…they have some official role, probably paid even.
If we can make Z-Biff pay for it, James. Yeah, but that gets us stuck in the…but, okay. But, so docents that kind of point out the art, talk about the games. I think having so much community-based stuff…like how many people would want to do this in their community, almost like your hobby? He’s out…hobby out in the world to not only make new friends and meet new people but to outweigh the distraction, to pull people away from the…this isn’t even about…it’s just like oh, here’s an opportunity. We’re not trying to deprive you of anything. Did you notice this? This thing’s in bloom. Have you tried to throw…have you…what about more wishing wells? I’m a big fan of…oh, okay, only one…you’re right; only one wishing well. You’re right. Snacks…I think Richie did say free samples. I mean, eye contact and smiling is a good place to start. Just making the community so interesting. What about walking tours?
Like life docents, art chalk crawls, I mean, it does take…it would take a big commitment from a group, community group, that’s really involved and already has its working group structure and that loves walking from place to place and doing stuff, almost like life docents and life crawls. We could just call them community crawls. There could be kid-based ones and adult-based ones. Maybe we could build them around the times the highest traffic, like the phone use. For youth maybe we could work in more things about that, like maybe there’s some other…[01:00:00] for youth saving for their education or their favorite places to get snacks or buy stuff. There’s stuff hidden out there in the world. You want some boba? There’s a free gift card for boba hidden on a painted rock somewhere, every day. You have to be a kid, so I saw that look in your eye. Maybe we’ll have them for adults too. I’m just thinking when school…high school’s let out and go back in; then we would just need to kind of organize this and help it out.
Right, James. How can we map it out or make a community announcement or any of those things without using Z-Biff? Well, I mean, I guess we could. Do we use it in this situation? I think we could find a…okay everybody, Richie and I are gonna…it sounds like you have a working group. Start working on it. We could use Z-Biff…do we have to? I don’t know, James, I’m just wondering if we’re in a position where we’re being subverted or we’re subverting, you know? The whole idea even with our businesses was the path of least resistance; convenience and guiding flowing water downhill a lot of times. Why wouldn’t I buy this? It has a lifetime guarantee. But there was still…there’s a…this is the only path. Not only is it the path of…it feels like we’re on the rails, James, Z-Biff’s rails. Dependence and subversion at the same time? I don’t know. I don’t know if there was a different way or this is the only way. Well, I think they’ve got it figured out, this one.
I think we did a decent job with this one ‘cause it was less arguing and once everybody saw how it was worse or thought about how they would make it worse, and then I think they eventually were like well, I’m not okay with that even though I said that idea. Yeah, those groin-level poles, that’s just…I could see how I could think of that, but that’s not…right, it’s not…yeah. So, but let’s just rest on it, James, and we’ll go to the next thing on the…or we’ll figure this out. ‘Cause yeah, I’m pooped; making it worse is tiring business. It is, Richie. Good job.
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