1241 – Julius J Juice | Multiplex Ep2
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Episode 1241 – Julius J Juice | Multiplex Ep. 2
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster…well, I was trying to think of the last time I played mini-golf because this is the second episode of our series Multiplex, tentatively called, and I don't know when the last time I played mini-golf was. ‘Cause my ball and my…my brain has many multi-colored balls rolling around. You say, what…isn’t it supposed to be just one stroke at a time? But my…you know what I’m saying? My balls are out of order. I’m saying that with a grin even though my putt-putt…oh, you can't say that…putt-putt-putting mini-golf…probably not…hard to use as a metaphor for a sleep podcast. We could just agree on that. If you’re new, welcome to Sleep With Me.
It’s a podcast that’s here to put you to sleep, keep you company, and be your friend in the deep, dark night. This show is very, very different. It does take about two or three tries to get used to for a lot of listeners just 'cause it’s so different, but it’s friendly and I’m here to kinda just distract you from whatever’s keeping you awake and let you ease off into sleep. So, I’m glad you’re here. If you’re not sure about this show, that’s pretty normal for…that’s for regular listeners. Over the years I’ve just gotten that feedback; didn’t like you at first. I didn’t get…when was the show gonna start? Oh, it never gets…it’s always never getting started. So, just see how it goes if you’re new. But I’m really glad you’re here.
I really hope I can help you fall asleep. The reason I make the show; I know how it feels not being able to sleep or dreading going to bed, and I know that something distracting and fun can offer some relief, and I also know you deserve some kind of relief and a bedtime you don’t have to dread. So, I’m glad you’re here. If you’re new, what to expect; we got support coming up. That’s how people get to experience the show. There’s over 600 episodes ready to go, ad-supported shows, then there will be a long, meandering intro which is separate from the support, and the intro is meant to kinda explain what the podcast is, but I go off track or off topic or both.
They’re about fifteen to twenty minutes long, and that’s meant to ease you into bedtime or to put you at ease and give you a buffer as you’re getting ready for bed before you go to sleep. Then there’s support, then tonight will be our episodically modular story, Multiplex, where it’s just a group of four people, friends, and they had played a game of mini-golf and now they are talking…they’re sitting at a picnic table talking, as far as…someone’s telling the tale from…there’s a narrator, of course. So, yeah, not bad. Then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show and why I make the show. I’m glad you’re here, and thanks for supporting this podcast and making it possible, my bore-friends.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, things on your mind, so thoughts you’re thinking about, thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, feelings related to those thoughts or feelings about other stuff, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be traveling, you could have visitors, you could have stuff going on, right?
I’m here to take your mind off of whatever’s keeping you awake, and the reason I make the show…and the reason I kinda go through…hey, maybe you work a different work schedule, maybe you got something coming up for school, maybe you’re going through something that’s not easy. I want to let you know you’re not alone. At first that might seem strange to say on a podcast, 'cause you say, yeah…but maybe this will help. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, whether it’s something transitory, temporary, or long-term, there is someone listening right now who’s experienced something very similar or gone through something really closely to what you’re going through, and they’re leaning in right now. They’re nodding their head.
But then there’s a lot of people, a large number of people including myself, that…we probably know how it feels or can relate to how it feels even if we haven’t been through the same thing. We’re on…I mean, I know I’m on the edge of my seat because I know how it feels. I really…it’s not easy and I really hope this show can help, because I’ve been there. That’s one of the most important things about the show, is like, hey, you’re not alone. There’s other people out there who know how you feel, and maybe the people in your life, they don’t quite get it 'cause they sleep good, right? Maybe they don’t mean to be dismissive or whatever or minimize things, but they do because they don’t understand what it’s like. Here, we get it.
We may not get it for everybody; that’s why this podcast doesn’t work for everyone, but I just want you to know that. Also, I mentioned earlier, you deserve a bedtime you don’t have to dread. You deserve the rest you need so your life is manageable. More than that, you deserve the rest you need so you could be out there flourishing. I hope this show can provide it for you. Now, if it can't, I can tell you that we have a website; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and you could go over there. There’s other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. Just check one of those out and see if one of those can help you, because I hope they can. But give this show a few tries. It is very different. The way it kinda works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.
I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, and pointless meanders, which means I go off-topic, I get mixed up, I repeat myself, then I go on a tangent about something I was repeating, then I forget what I was…I have no idea where I was, then I get distracted by another thought. I don't know if your brain does that at bedtime or during the day, but it kinda is how mine works. But I’m a little bit more relaxed when I record the show 'cause I’m here for you, to be here present in this moment and to take some time…and this is my way of caring. It’s a different way of caring, right? But what I’m here to do is…and this is where it gets even more interesting; one of my forms of caring for you and helping you get to sleep is that you don’t have to listen to me. You could kinda just barely listen to this show. You could not listen at all.
You could put it at a mumble. You could pretend it’s a TV on in the other room or you could kinda pay attention or you could just barely pay attention. That’s how most people listen, I think. They just kind of pay attention, just like I’m just out of focus. They know I’m talking. Sometimes they’re listening to the words and they’re piecing it together, and then other times they’re just not…they’re just kinda barely paying attention. That’s what I’m here for. You could listen to me, but you don’t need to. Then the other thing is…the second form of caring this podcast supplies is a surprise. I’m here…I’ve been making a sleep podcast for ten years. I’ve seen the entire landscape of sleep audio change, and this show is not meant to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.
I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m here to the very end because there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day. The reason the shows are over an hour is 'cause if you’re anything like me, you don’t want to think about…well, what happens in…what happens in twenty-three minutes when the birds stop chirping? How am I supposed to…what happens when there’s the pause between the rain on my tent and when it repeats itself? Why do I have to go actively exploring the forest for my glowing…whatever it is? I can’t do…that’s too performative for me.
Now, there’s people all that stuff works for and we are happy for them, but this show is more about being a friend and a distraction outside of whatever’s keeping you awake. You could just listen to me as you wish or when you wish or if you need to, because I’m here for you. I’m here to talk to you and tell you a story, not to put you to sleep, just to distract you as you fall asleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your Borbie, your bores, your bore-bruh, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-friend, your friend in the deep, dark night who keeps you company. I don't bring any crumbs. I’m not chopping ice or…can you imagine that?
That would be something I would have done if the sleep…as I’ve learned how to make a show over the history of the podcast. I never did this just 'cause it would show up on the mic, but imagine if I was chewing ice and then somebody had to…Scoots, by the way, don’t chew ice while you’re trying to put me to sleep. If I did it in person, I would probably need those cues. So, yeah. Yeah, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff as you fall asleep. It does take some getting used to for those two ideas and it also takes some getting used to…just the whole concept of the show. It’s a podcast you don’t listen to. It doesn’t put you to sleep. Most people don’t like it on the first listen and the second listen. Yeah, yeah, that’s…this is just a different thing.
Also, the structure of the show really throws people off, so let me give you some more good news. Our show is designed in a very intentional way, but we found over the years and especially last year where we did…we got a great survey from people, like how people listen to the podcast, and…so, we’ve designed the structure of the show around that, but I’ll kinda tell you why and then how you could adjust. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. That’s so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, hey, I might listen to that show. Or if you’re a returning listener, what’s up? Good to see you again. It’s something familiar and different every time, like a welcoming. I say, hey, glad you’re here.
Come on in; we got your spot ready, kinda like I’m a maitre d’ in this case and I’m like, yeah, your favorite table is already ready. Come on in. We’ve got it. We’ve been waiting for you, and…so glad you’re here. We got…the temperature’s just right. We got your favorite napkins. We know that Scoots asks for tepid water, but we know how your water…we’ve got everything set up for you. Then there’s support, sponsor support, and that’s because most people prefer to just listen linearly, and they like the passive aspect of that; hey, the sponsors and the people that support the sponsors make the show and I can just listen to it.
Okay, and then after that is an intro, and…oh, and if you rather…there’s plenty of ways if you’d prefer a ad-free experience to do that, including for free, by referring people to the show. So, if you’re not in a financial position, you could join our referral program. But yeah, then there’s a intro, a long, meandering intro, where…which is separate from the support. I just want to point that out 'cause sometimes when people are upset about the support, then they lump the intro in with it. The intro is really a show within a show. It has nothing to do with the support of the show and it’s not self-congratulatory. Or, it’s self-referential, for sure. You got me. But the intro is where I try to explain what the podcast is and I don’t do it in a successfully…a successful or efficient way.
But there’s also another motivator which is all the research around sleep, all of my personal experience around sleep, and all of the feedback I’ve gotten around sleep…there’s usually one or two consistent themes in there and one of them is having a wind-down routine and having a wind-down time. That’s what the intro is for. So, there are people that would prefer story-only episodes, and then…you could do that by subscribing, skipping ahead, or…yeah, I think that’s…2% of people just skip ahead to the show, and maybe a smaller percentage of people support the show and just have access to a story-only version of the podcast. But yeah, the intro is meant to ease you into bedtime. So, some people are skipping ahead, some people are in bed getting comfortable, a couple percentage of people are asleep.
Oh boy, we’re happy for them and all the partners and snoring dogs and cats and other animals. We’re so happy for you. My fingers are totally not crossed at all. I mean, they’re not crossed just because I have…you know what I mean. We’re just happy…mostly…kinda barely happy for you. But so, for most people, they’re either getting ready for bed, getting in bed getting comfortable, or doing some chill wind-down activity, even if it’s just lying there looking at stuff or whatever. So, just kinda see what works for you, but that’s what the intro is. It’s not so much meant to put you to sleep as to ease you into bedtime. Then there’s support, and then there will be our bedtime story. It’ll be our ongoing episodically modular series, Multiplex, and that’ll be, what, forty to fifty minutes, maybe sometimes even longer.
That’ll be a nice bedtime story where there will be a lot of meandering and speeches and exposition, maybe a backstory or two. I don't know yet. I haven’t recorded it. Then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show. So, I think that’s it. That’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. Yeah, the only advice I have is give it a few tries. See how it goes. If it doesn't work for you, I’m sorry. That’s why I have sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou set up. I do promote other sleep podcasts on the show from time to time, too. But yeah, just see how it goes, 'cause most people that are regular listeners of the show, they said, oh, I was looking for some…I didn’t know I was looking for something like this, but this is what I was looking for, just a friendly voice that’s a little bit goofy and that’s almost barely engaging, barely humorous, barely entertaining.
Those are rave reviews for Sleep With Me. I laughed but I don't remember what I laughed at, and I barely laughed and I remember…I don't…I thought I remembered something about what they talked about, but I don't remember that, and…because I barely listened. Literally, this is a rave review, too, just to close out, because I talk about it a lot; it is with…probably monthly someone will decide to financially support the show. They will send me a e-mail thanking me and they’ll share their story of how strongly they disliked the podcast when they first listened. For some people, that might have been in high school and now they’re in their first or second job, or maybe they were at a job and then…now they’re in a different job where they’re retiring.
But they say, man, I really…I needed…I listened to the show and I loathed it, and then I…and then someone else recommended it or I thought about it again and I just tried it again, and then I wasn’t sure. Oh, and then I realized, oh yeah, this is a podcast you’re never sure about because…so, what was my…? See? Here you go; what was my point of bringing that up? Oh, that’s a rave review. That’s a common, rave review; I did not like this podcast on the…now, there is a percentage of people that I also hear from…not…maybe four times a year that say, hey, on the first try it really worked. Then there’s people that didn’t hear the no-thank-you part. Those are the people I hear from…I hear from people that are regular listeners a good amount, too; hey, this is my story, thanks for making the show.
This is why I decided to support you, or I just have some kind words for you. There’s probably…I mean, realistically, yeah, a equal amount of people who didn’t hear ‘just go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou; I want to help introduce you to another show.’ They want to let me know…maybe they don’t hear that part, so…but I get it. When I can't sleep, I can't sleep, either, and when I find something I like…this is like a melon ball…I don't know, like some candy…I talk about this a lot, but you’re like…you look at the candy; it’s wrapped in some strange color. The color of honeydew really isn’t…it may be good in a couple other contexts but in a hard candy, you’d be like, I don't know about that, man. No thanks. I say, you gotta try this…it doesn't taste like honeydew even though it looks like honeydew. Well, what does it taste like?
It tastes melony but not like…no, I don't need that candy, man. Then you open the candy and then sometimes you’re like, okay, this is interesting, but…and then…you know what I’m saying? That’s what Sleep With Me is like. Not a great sales pitch, but we’re a show that just doesn't work for everybody, but if it works for you…and for some people it’s only a little while, and for some people it becomes a part of their life, and a lot…most people, it’s in-between. Like I said, most people, they just listen along. They listen linearly and it helps them. So, I don't know if it’ll help you or not, but I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad that I get the chance to help you, because what I can tell you is I know what it feels to really want some help getting some sleep…yeah, this week. So, I’m glad you’re here. I work really hard. So do a bunch of other people, and we all yearn and strive and really hope we can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here, and this is our episodically modular series, Multiplex, where we take a trip into the world of multiplexes, and…yeah, it’s…it should be fun. I’m gonna catch you up on most…I think the narrator will catch you up on most of the details, but it’s a pretty simple story so far. Three friends, high school seniors, it seems like, are…who are playing a game of mini-golf…Josie, Wyatt, and Santos, and they all seem to be pretty successful, high-achieving teens, though it seems like Wyatt had recently learned something about a scholarship and not getting a scholarship. They were playing a game of mini-golf to kinda both celebrate their seemingly impending graduation but also to kind of…because Wyatt didn’t get the scholarship, they were imagining they were playing this competitive mini-golf game to get the course record and that Wyatt would win scholarship money.
Also, Wyatt’s sister is a holder of the course record. As they were playing the game, Wyatt was getting closer and closer. It felt realer…more real…realer and realer…to where Wyatt was gonna win and take the course record from his sister. But then this…someone appeared out of a culvert, which is kind of like where a creek runs under a highway or a road, and they made a noise and it was someone from their school, the Corncob Kid, Boyd. That threw Wyatt off and Wyatt did not break the course record, but they were really nice about it. They were…Wyatt was upset, but they said, hey Boyd, come on over. As far as they know, they sat down and started to have a conversation, and that’s I think where we’ll return to the tale.
But first, a person who…if I had a tail, it would be wagging as soon as I knew…you know how dogs, at least, they know…? This is purely speculation, but I imagine their tail starts…my tail…if I had a tail, it would start wagging right when…what’s that called? Santonella, I think…when Antonio Banderas crossed over, passed Andersen Pea Soup in Santonella or Los Banos…those are stops on the freeway that Antonio traverses on the way here. Now, to set up our new series, Episode 2, our…that you can listen to in any order 'cause it’s episodically modular, is our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas. Thank you, Scooter. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to go to the movies with Multiplex. Yeah. Thanks, Antonio. That was definitely different than we’ve ever had before. I like it. Yeah, that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Multiplex, everybody.
Good evening, everybody. My name is Wyatt and I’m recording these recollections of a time long ago in my life, a long time ago in what seemed like a galaxy far, far away, hardy-har-har, at a time in my life I was on a precipice and I didn’t know where that would take me, and this is the story. I guess it’s a long story of how to become a person among persons. So many tales of people flying high, going low, and then going back up. But how do you end up in that middle, in the nice middle, and what does it take to get there? The adventure of being among…a person among people, the undersold adventure. But the irony is this is a true adventure that brought us to that place. I think where I left off, my friends and I, we were sitting at a picnic table near the snack bar of Fairview Mini-Golf or Fairglen.
Man, I can't even remember mini-golf in its own glen…my two best friends, Josie and San, and a classmate of ours known as the Corncob Kid, Boyd, and Boyd had recently appeared out of a culvert that ran where the glen…I guess the Fair…the creek that runs through the mini-golf course separating the front nine from the back nine and giving it a nice, picturesque feel as well as little bridges to go over, eventually that creek doesn’t just end at the end of the mini-golf course; it goes under the…I don't even know what road that is. Fairview Glen Boulevard? It’s a…I can’t…six…one, two, three, four, five, six…six to eight-lane road in two directions, but a road, not a high…a boulevard, but it’s not a…unless ‘boulevard’ means it has something in the middle, but I think that’s a parkway.
But underneath it is a culvert, a pretty big one, because…well, this creek is not a river or a…I guess technically it could be a stream. It’s somewhere between a creek and a stream. It was in that culvert that…the Corncob Kid made some noise or banged something metal and distracted me from my quest to be the…to have the course record at this mini-golf course, to take it from my sister and to imaginarily win a full scholarship to school that…yeah, that I needed or…at the time I felt like I needed. I don't know if last time I totally recollected why Boyd was called the Corncob Kid, but it was because Boyd, throughout…and it’s interesting 'cause it’s related to the subject at hand…Boyd always had a corncob pipe. He didn’t have…did Boyd…?
I don't think Boyd’s nose was a button nose and his eyes were eyes, but once upon a time, when I was a lad and Boyd was a lad…but people smoked pipes, and not the little…you know, they smoked tobacco out of pipes. There was stores, shopping malls like the one we’re about to talk about, where people would go and buy tobacco and pipes and pipe accessories. I can't remember what the pipe shop’s called right this second, but they would either give away or at a huge discount sell little corncob pipes. Not to high-schoolers, no, no, no, but to kids, to parents, and say, hey, give your kid a corncob pipe. It’s a little one. Strangely enough, I never saw a bubble pipe at any of those places. But they were training you early.
But more to emulate…I don't think you could…I don't know, we never tried smoking anything out of a corncob pipe, believe it or not. But Boyd always had the corncob pipe on him, or a corncob pipe, even…I think even in high school, 'cause he was known as the Corncob Kid. I think there’s other reasons, too, but I can't remember right now. Time escapes me week to week, day to day. But that’s why Boyd was known as the Corncob Kid; he always had a corncob pipe, and he had a corn…if you’re a Corncob Kid, you got a sense of style that fits…the nickname fits the person; the person fits the nickname. I don't know which comes first. The other thing we had noticed when we saw Boyd — and I don't know who said it — was like, what, are you going on a alpine exposition…expedition?
Because Boyd had on this gigantic backpack and it was stuffed. Boyd sat down and after we got through the niceties and me expressing my displeasure at Boyd surprising us and throwing off my game and my attempt at the course record and an imaginary full-ride scholarship, we said, what are you…where are you coming from? What are you doing in…? First it was that kind of stuff. Boyd laughed and started to open up the backpack. He said, Doctor Julius' Juice. We said, Doctor Julius' Juice? He pulled out this giant can, one of those big cans you find in a high school cafeteria full of beans or full of tomato sauce. I believe they’re called No. 10 cans, but don’t quote me on it. He plunked it down on the picnic table, and everything we had on the picnic table jumped due to the weight of this can. It was heavy; we all tried to lift it.
He said, it’s concentrate, Doctor Julius' Juice concentrate. Josie was like, wasn’t…isn’t that the store at the mall that had milk and orange juice or something weird mixed together? Boyd chuckled and said, yeah, no, that’s it; the mall drink. Boyd patted the top of the container and said, this will make a hundred glasses of Doctor Julius' Juice. We looked at each other. The Corncob Kid was an interesting kid. But we said, you must love…you carry your own juice concentrate around in a backpack when you’re hanging out in a culvert? I don't know…we had no idea, right? You must really love…do you bring your own can…do you mix your own…? Boyd held up his hand and said…moved…did that thing where you rub your…he said, I love my money, man. He said, I sold this can for fifty bucks. We said, fifty…what?
Just probably your…wait a second, you sold a can…you have a can of juice concentrate from a mall store that doesn't exist anymore. Where did you get…where did you even get that? He said, the mall. We’ll get to it, but the mall…the closed mall? He said, this is already sold to givememyjuicedawg or something. He said some one…run-on word. Said, who’s that? It’s a profile name, Boyd said, from a message board. Or bulletin board? I don't know what they called them back then. Online, Boyd said. Or, I don't know, on…I can't remember what they used to call it back…words get confused as they change names. But Boyd was into this stuff before it was even the internet. He said, yeah, this is where…when juice is on your mind. We said, what?
He said, this is a online…or, again, this is just my explanation of it in the present day; online bulletin board like a forum or a Discord for fans of Doctor Julius J. Juice. Say, fifty dollars? He said, yeah, no, no…and he goes, there’s hundreds of cans just waiting for me to take them. Just waiting, Boyd said. I said, in the mall? That’s stealing, isn’t it? You’re stealing cans from the mall? I don't know, San or Josie said, it’s looting, I guess, technically. Boyd said, the mall’s been closed for six years, over six years. Doctor Julius J. Juice declared bankruptcy over three years ago. He said, any claims on their property have been resolved a long time ago. I mean, technically we would have to wait ten years, but it’s all settled. I looked it up. We said, online? Boyd said, yeah. Boyd tapped the can again. He said, this is abandoned merchandise.
Then we were like…but doesn't…didn’t the government fund or super…the mall…isn’t the mall the government’s property now? Who is it, anyway? What about all the stuff they say about the mall, man? Boyd shrugged and said, well, if it’s…if the government owns the mall, then this is all our property, huh? But he goes, no, this is just left behind, forgotten. It’s like it’s going and fishing stuff out of the garbage, more or less. If I was to go into the garbage and take a ice cream cone, you guys wouldn’t like me doing that, but you wouldn’t have a problem with it. It’s the same thing. We all sat there for a minute trying to process it all. Boyd said, if I only had a truck, I could get it out, man. Fifty bucks a pop. We were like, well, how many are there? Boyd said, at least twenty cases; twelve cans to a case.
He goes, but they’re stacked up, so I don't know how many case…how far it goes back, but definitely twenty cases. We were like, is this even…? He goes, it’s a sealed can. None of them…he goes, if it was dented I wouldn’t sell it, or I’d sell it as dented for twenty-five bucks. So, we started to do the math. I don't even know…math’s not my strong suit anymore, or calculation. Let’s see, twenty times twelve equals…times fifty…$12,000. He said, yeah, at least $12,000. Boyd said, I’m willing to split it with all of you, fifty-fifty. We said, wouldn’t it be twenty-five, twenty…? No, no, fifty for me and fifty for the three of you to split. It was like, well, it sounds risky, you know? I don't know about this. None of us did, right?
Boyd said, well, it’s simple; we go back through the culvert, take a turn…we’ll come out right near the entrance to Doctor Julius J. Juice. He goes, I got a padlock on the door. He goes, the front of the store is cut off. We just go in the back door, go…then go into the store, then go into the storage area. He goes, take the cases out, carry them back in. He goes, it’ll take us a few trips. Then we’ll relocate them closer to where we could park a truck, then we’ll load the truck up and we’re good to go. Yeah, it’s gonna be some work. I don't know…you all look like you could handle it. But yeah, it’ll take a few hours. He goes, there might even be another way we could find…park the truck closer. But he goes, yeah, no problems at all. He goes, we just take our time. Most of it will be underground. He goes, we’ll have everything stored.
I’m thinking five hours tops. If we do it tonight, no one will even know. We go, but what if we do get caught? He’s like, by who? I’ve been poking around down there. I haven’t seen anybody. I’ll sell them. You could even hold onto them if you don’t trust me. You know, you could hold them as leverage. As I sell them, we’ll split the money. It’s like one of those win-win-win…win-win-win-win situations. This isn’t like your fake contest to win an imaginary scholarship. This is real currency. The words came out of my mouth before my brain even…I said, I’m in. Instantly, before I thought about it, before I even processed it, I had spoken. San and Josie just looked at me kinda slack-jawed, moving their mouths, trying to process what was happening, a little bit like a dream.
Then Josie eventually said, we’re in, and pulled Josie’s keys out and put them on the table, because Josie had a pickup. We could use my truck once we have the boxes. Then we said, so what’s next? What do we do next? Boyd said, well, we’ll wait. We should probably leave here and then come back. Maybe…I don't know, what do you guys…have a story? I’m good for the night. So, we went and moved the cars and the truck down the street and called our parents and covered for one another for sleepovers. But we were already seniors, so it was a pretty standard process we had done before. We waited for the mini-golf to shut down.
Believe it or not, we didn’t even have to really go on the mini-golf’s property because up along the side of the road…the road was about…the parking lot started at road surface, but there was a trail running along the side of the road that sloped down as the slope of the road…into the glen but on the outside of the mini-golf property. I never even realized that or that there was even a little fence there. So, technically, we weren’t even sneaking into the mini-golf course. We decided that, yeah, we’d just pull the truck up and this would be our last stage. Boyd even had a couple blankets and said, yeah, we can even hide the stuff and move…if we don’t get it done. Don't worry; we’ll be fine. So, we went into the culvert.
We did…this is one of those situations where your feet and your ankles are gonna get wet, but it was nice out, a warm enough night. The water was pretty warm. Boyd went up…and after you went into the culvert — which is wide enough for three people to stand side-by-side standing up; this is a big one — about five feet in was a gate, a barred gate, and it had a lock on it. It looked like something out of a old Western movie where people would be behind it. A couple of us gulped and then Boyd pulled out a wrench and started wrenching the bar all the way on one side, wrenching…reached around the back…and unscrewing these bolts and eventually just pushed the bar away, took it off, and shooed us through.
Then Boyd started putting the thing…we said, what are you doing, you gonna keep us in here? Boyd said, don't worry, it’s just…I won't fully wrench it back up. I’m just gonna do a one-finger turn. If anybody looks in here or tries, they’ll just see the bars. Even if they tap it, it’ll feel solid. But if you want to…if we decide to leave or you decide to leave without me, just unscrew these two bolts and pull the bar off. I guess at the time I hadn’t seen the ingenuity of Boyd, Corncob Kid, as somebody kinda wrote off a lot of the time, somebody that’s like, seventeen years old and still carrying a corncob pipe. I wonder where they’re going. But Boyd would end up being incredibly successful in real estate and finance and all that kinda stuff.
But it was also this solid reminder that there was a rule we were breaking or bending, that we were taking some kind of risk, you know, and that this was real versus the game of golf we had just played which was more imaginary. But also in a sense, these were like guardrails, right? The whole purpose of this gate wasn’t to do any kind of locking; it was just to say, hey, not a good idea coming under here. We had talked about that but Boyd said, yeah, there’s…the weather’s dry. You could see there’s…the water line’s…the highest they go is to our calves and everything else is fine. Boyd said, also, don't worry; you’ll see right through. ‘Cause even if we went in, it wasn’t totally dark. Not that far down on the other end was light coming in and another big hole.
So, we headed in that direction and we said, is that where we’re going, Boyd? Boyd said, no, no, no, that’s the view of the mall. That’s where the…most of the water empties out. We’re gonna turn up here. There’s a couple turns we gotta take. Then we passed a opening on our right, a opening that kinda seemed…it was getting a little smaller. But Boyd said, yeah, if we want to look at the mall first, you could see where we’re going. No worries. This was the water from Fairglen, you know, the water we just played mini-golf over. So, we walked to the end and there was another set of bars and a pretty steep view where the water kinda flowed out of the culvert and then waterfalled down and became…went down to a grate and then went under the ground, presumably under the mall? I didn’t even think about it ‘til this minute.
The water went somewhere else at that point. This was the end of the glen. But we had this amazing view up high — 'cause we were just below the road — of the mall, which was probably thirty, fifty, a hundred feet down and a couple football fields or parking lots away. This was one of these malls that time had left behind even in our time when malls were popular. It wasn’t big enough, it didn’t have enough space, or…I don't know, or maybe it was a developer…I don't know the history. I just know this mall had been closed, as Boyd said, for six years. It was the mall of our youth, not our pending adulthood. But I was kinda struck by how it was kind of somewhat sad-looking. It looked like a low warehouse, but it didn’t look that different. There was still…a lot of the signs were up but they were falling to pieces.
Everything was just a little faded, but not like in the movies. The parking line’s a little faded, the signs, the windows…it still looked like a mall, though. The only thing that wasn’t faded was the fencing. The mall was surrounded by a fence, a tall, metal fence that looked fairly new. As I was looking at the fence, San said, barbed wire…the fence is topped with barbed wire to keep people out, Boyd. See? This is not a great idea. Why would you surround a mall with fence and barbed wire? To keep people out. If you…it doesn't matter. Boyd said, it’s because they don’t want people coming in and messing around in there. They don’t want anybody slipping, you know? But the thing was there was two sets of fences; one kinda at a distance through the middle of the parking lot and one a little bit further in.
That’s where Josie said, but the second fence…the barbed wire is facing in. What’s up with that? That doesn't make any sense. It’s like if you were trying to keep people in. Boyd pish-poshed Josie, right? Probably got a discount. I don't know. Maybe it was a mistake. It doesn't really matter. We don’t need to worry about the fences. We’re going under the fence where you come out on the other side of the mall, right by Doctor Julius J. Juice. There’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s gonna be fine. But I could feel the tension, right? I didn’t really have to wait for it to resolve because I felt San move closer to me, and San put his hand on my shoulder and said, listen, I can't go because my scholarship is contingent on…and Josie said, I can't twist my ankle or anything, so I can't go, either.
The same thing; there’s…it’s a morality clause on mine. They could withdraw my admission and everything, so I can't go, either. Josie put her keys in my hand and said, you take it. Then San said, listen, this will be easier anyway because we were gonna let you keep the money. Now you won't have to argue with us about it. It’ll be fifty-fifty between the two of you. We’ll help you move the boxes and load the truck and stuff, but then you two keep the money. It was like, you got the course record. This didn’t happen by accident. I looked back at the mall and noticed that the skylights had a tinge of green, like a little moss or algae was growing on them. I just kinda stared at them and, I don't know…said, Wyatt, are you okay? I said, yeah, yeah, no, no, that’s fine. Yeah, let me take…thanks. It’s cool. We’ll get it.
I kinda felt like I had jumped already. I don't know, that sense. But I took the keys; I put them in my pocket. I said, why don’t you two go back, and what if we just meet at BK for breakfast at 6:30? We looked at our watches. I gave me and Boyd plenty of time, or even if we weren’t done…and then…don't worry; if you don’t see me, if you don’t see us by 8:30, come look for us. You know how to get back in and everything. We kinda gave hugs all around, a little bit longer hugs, or…I don't even know if the Corncob Kid gave any hugs or just a shrug and a nod. They started to walk off. I could hear their footsteps plopping for a little while behind us, but Boyd and I turned back towards the mall. Boyd said, don't worry. Really, it’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna come out over there. We’re gonna go…I’ll go unlock the door.
We’ll go in and we’ll just start moving boxes. Simple as that. We’ll move them in. I said, well, where does it come…? He said, something stuck in the side of a hill. Don't worry; it’s gonna be fine. Easy stuff. We’ll bring everything into the first tube, we’ll have everything loaded and spread out, then we’ll carry stuff back here, then we’ll carry stuff closer to the entrance, and then we’ll see what time it is and we’ll decide if we should load the truck now or later. We could even take turns hanging with the stuff if we need to, but I don't see it being a problem. So, let’s get started. So, then we turned back. Now, looking back at it, I just saw the bars and the hole that went back into the mini-golf, but that didn’t strike me as important at that moment.
We headed off and that’s when I started to hear something as we approached the turnoff, which was now on our left. It was something like a wind, but if a wind could talk…like, if the wind was wailing, a sound like that. I said, Boyd, do you hear that? Boyd said, yeah, it’s the wind. I said, it sounds like a voice in the wind. Boyd said, okay, let’s stop. At first we heard some splashing and then Boyd said, listen. Then that wind sound had stopped and Boyd said, what else do…what do you hear now? I said, cars, a honk. Boyd said, I hear a dog barking. I think I hear kids playing, but I don't know if that’s real. Then this sound started up again. It didn’t feel that far, like right at the turnoff but a little ways in or something. It was darker in there. But Boyd pulled out a flashlight and said, don't worry; it’s probably just the wind.
I don't remember hearing it before but I wasn’t really listening when I was by myself, which is kinda weird. I was barely paying attention. I was just enjoying the sights. Boyd said, yeah, we’re gonna go up here and we definitely want to stay left at this next cross and not turn. We were staying left and it was good because the sound was coming from the right, the wind sound. Boyd said, see? It’s down that way. That’s when I heard something like…all in a row, like a swish, a splat, an ugh, an ah, an uh…and I recognized the voices; San and Josie. Then, hey…they were calling to us because it sounded like San was…they say, hey, get over here as quick as possible. They were saying it in a more active, louder way. Boyd and I sprung into action, right?
We headed…Boyd flashed his flashlight and we saw Josie was holding onto the side of the culvert where the ribs are, you know, the ribs in those old metal tubes, and reaching Josie’s hand out and holding onto San’s hand who was…and Boyd said, there’s…yeah, there’s a slide down there. It’s a drop-off. Now, it was a angled drop-off I guess like a slide, as Boyd had said, and Josie was hanging on and we were rushing towards Josie when…then Josie slipped, Josie was hanging onto San so much. At first Josie went to her knees but then slid over the slide, too, and I caught her hand. We were all struggling but we’re all in pretty fair shape and I could feel…because the ground is wet and kinda…water’s there and it’s swampy and stuff like that. Boyd said, don't worry, don't worry, grab my belt.
Boyd threw…there was these — I didn’t even realize it — other pipes like water pipes or something running along the roof. Boyd even had a rope in that backpack and threw the rope over the pipes and started to tie it…secure it around Boyd’s forearm. But at this point I was sliding over. Boyd said, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. Then San slid and said, whoa! Of course, I was like, oh boy, oh no, you know? I’m trying to hold onto Josie and Josie’s expressing…but we could hear San and San said, I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m down…it’s not that much further down. Josie said…and then of course I lost Josie’s grip. But Josie was ready and kinda slid on her butt and…with her feet below her. Boyd was flashing the light down and we could see them. They were about fifteen feet down a slide.
I don't know, not a forty-five degree angle, but maybe. Boyd said, don't worry, I got the rope. We’ll go down and then we’ll pull each other up. It was slick but the rope was good, so Boyd and I started to kinda rappel down. I don't know, we more…it was more like slowly sliding our feet and holding onto the rope. But when we’re about halfway down, all of a sudden there was a jerk in the rope and then the rope went slack and we fell to our backs and our butts and slid all the way down. It ended up that one of the pipes had broken and water started rushing down on us. We jumped up and everybody…we were patting each other, checking each other, making sure we were all intact. I think it was…San tried to climb back up. The rope had come all the way down.
Boyd tried to throw the rope up a few times and said, yeah, we’re not gonna get back up there. It’s fine, though. This is all interconnected down here. It’ll be fine. We got the light. But of course the flashlight started to fail, too, but it didn’t totally go out. It just started to dim and we all got a little irritable. You didn’t charge your flashlight? Dude, what are you doing, man? You’re leaving us out here without a working flashlight? Boyd said, don't worry; I’m good at this. Don't worry. Boyd said, okay, let’s walk through where we are and then we’ll figure out where we’re going. We’ll come out near the mall. We’ll either go back and start again tomorrow or we’ll keep going and we’ll find our way back to where we started. So, we kinda started to map out where we were compared to the road.
We had turned and then turned again, and it was like, okay, we kinda slid down back towards the road, but then it curved around to the left again. Boyd said, yeah, we could go right and that’ll head back…maybe we’re under the road, maybe we’re under the glen. I don't know where that goes. Then if we go to the left, we’re going not towards the mall but…Boyd said, I don't know, I say we go left. Then if not, we can come back and go right. At this point we walked a little bit, but San and Josie, again…'cause they had already decided to leave and that had been prevented and it was getting a little cold, they kinda went on some…they expressed some displeasure and they said, what are we doing down here?
What if this stuff they said about…wasn’t the mall closed because giant mega-corporations underneath the mall had stored stuff and that stuff…wasn’t that why the mall closed, not because of finances? I heard they were…what if they were really storing UFO…? You know, all these outlandish theories. San was talking about DNA and all those kinda things. Then we reached another turnoff. Now, this one definitely turned left back towards the mall, if we were correct, and then straight ahead continued on what I would say…I don't know if it was north of the mall, but on the far side of the mall continuing on straight ahead. Again, Boyd stopped and tried to build consensus and said, okay, I’m about 90% sure if we take this way, we’re headed right back towards the mall.
Now we’re below where I would have normally come out, but either there’s gonna be a upswing or…we’ll figure it out as we go. I don't know if Josie and San were just trying to be contrarian, but they said, no, no, let’s go this way and get outta here. I kinda felt like I was caught in the middle. They said, let’s just try to get outta here, not go to the mall. I think this…it’s best to forget the mall, forget your juice, just get out of the mall and then we can…you guys can do this tomorrow without us, 'cause we’d like to get outta here. So, we stood in this turning point, I guess, for a minute. Boyd said, okay, okay, let’s think about it. That’s when I noticed…I said, okay, wait a second, the air coming from the non-mall direction…I stepped towards it a little bit and it stunk like wet garbage and it was a little bit humid.
Then I stepped into the tube that headed towards the mall and it was a little bit drier and maybe smelled a little plastery or like old paint, but that was about it. I said, okay, can you smell what’s coming from that direction? It smells nasty. This way smells drier and not as bad. I said, which way would you want to go based on that? Again, San and Josie were not happy about it, but I said, come on, let’s just go this dry way and see where we come out. Then actually I said, how…did you guys get lost when you…how did we get down here, anyway? Did you guys get lost when you were…? ‘Cause you just had to walk straight to exit…how did you end up where…? They said, we were gonna surprise you two. We were making that noise 'cause we wanted to mess with you and we thought it’d be hilarious.
Then we were gonna leave. We were planning on sneaking up on you and then going, so, sorry about that. I think acknowledging that gave them some ownership over the situation, but they kinda did a sorry-not-sorry thing. So, there we were in this tunnel. We headed in the direction back towards the mall and we were trying to wonder how far down we were. But really, it was…we were up, so eventually we would have had to go down anyway, and we didn’t realize that at the time. So, it was like, actually, we’re probably down at mall or below mall level. Boyd said, yeah, exactly. We would have had to go down the other way, anyway. So, we’re right where we’re supposed to be.
As we went this way, it got drier and drier and drier and kinda…I mean, not shiny clean, but cleaner and cleaner and cleaner, and eventually it ended at an end, but there was a ladder up, right? It was this mechanical thing to open these two doors. Boyd said, let’s give it a try and see. It took some work and it took teamwork to get these two doors open, but they kinda popped open above us…just a short ladder, too. It was kinda in this dark-ish hallway. It was like, is this the mall or somewhere else? Then we kinda listened. Again, we heard some wind sounds but not human wind sounds. Boyd said, I think this is the mall. This is one of the maintenance corridors or something.
So, we climbed out and we closed up the door, but we stuck…there’s stuff lying around on the floors and stuff, so Boyd shoved some cardboard just so we have some confidence we could get the doors back open if we needed to and go under. Boyd said, alright, let’s find a map. We started to look on the walls, and we moved slowly. But it’s definitely like those high ceilings you could move product through. Boyd said, okay, this isn’t on the same side of the mall as Doctor Julius Juice, because that empties out right into the parking lot. But we’ll find a map and we’ll figure out where we are and then we’ll assess things. Then we were like, have you been in any other parts of the mall, Boyd? Boyd said, no, no, just Julius…that was the only door I could get open.
I haven’t got into this part of the mall before, but now I know how to get here, I will. We noticed in the hall were all these posters and they looked like they were there to celebrate the trick-or-treat season, but they weren’t super old. But again, it was so dark…different characters from the trick-or-treat season. Maybe they were band posters? This is what I was thinking to myself. Maybe people had parties here. But I should have paid more attention that the posters were newer than six years old, but at the time I didn’t notice. Then eventually we found a map, a map for the employees, I guess, or people that were lost. We were right near some restrooms and we used that because there wasn’t a You Are Here thing, 'cause I guess if you work there, you should know. But if you were doing deliveries, you should still know.
There was also a exit up ahead, and we were pretty much on the opposite side of the mall from where Julius K…Doctor Julius J. Juice was. We were kinda debating, should we try that exit? Should we just try to get to Doctor Julius K. Juice? Boyd was like, we could cut right through the movie theatre. You guys remember the seniors? When we were freshmen, they used to use this way to sneak into the movies. Well, not when we were freshmen, Boyd. Oh, maybe it was one of my older siblings, then. We could cut through the Multiplex, go out of the Multiplex, through the food…and Boyd was working on mapping. I said, wow, okay, it sounds like Boyd knows where we’re going. San and Josie were like, what if we just leave the mall? Boyd said, well, there’s the fences.
I know if we leave…even if we…Boyd said, listen; we don’t have to stay at Julius J. Juice. We’ll just go in, we’ll go out the back…and then Boyd said, but the door’s locked. We’ll go out one of the adjoining stores, we’ll get their door open, and I’ll show you where we would come in and out anyway, and then we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure out what time it is. But don't worry; no pressure. But if we go out one of the other doors, we’re just gonna have to deal with the fences, and I don't know…I haven’t been out those doors. That’s when we heard something, something very distinct which was…it sounded like…it was in the restroom and it sounded like someone groaning, like they were going to use the restroom or full of woe. It was long and sustained, but not the kinda groan where you twist your ankle, though.
More, yeah, a groan of woe or of working hard on the throne. We looked at each other and instantly we started to run away as quietly and as fast as we could, and then we started trying doors because all the doors from the stores emptied into this corridor, right, or their storage rooms or their back rooms. We tried one door; nothing. Not one door. About the fifth door, Josie turned and Josie opened it and we all rushed in and closed the door. We stood right outside the door, panting, wondering if whoever was groaning could hear us and wondering, okay, this is probably whoever’s in charge of keeping an eye on this place. Now we definitely can't get busted because…and Boyd said, don't worry, don’t worry, we’ll just…we’ll lay low here. Boyd locked the door. It had one of those little twists.
Boyd said, the door’s locked. We’ll just stay here. Don't worry; we’ll get ourselves back out. No problem. We got plenty of time. Boyd was trying to keep us calm. We all kinda started to sink to the floor kind of in exhaustion, but around the door…and I kinda looked around. It was dark but it was boxes and stuff like that, a lot of empty shelves. Right as our breathing started to calm down and we started to kinda relax, a voice came from behind us. But it was a calm and reassuring voice, I want to tell you.
It said, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I could use your help with something. We all turned around and there was…well, there was someone there who needed our help, I guess. They were asking for our help with something. But I think that’s a good time to stop. I’m getting tired here spinning this old tale. But yeah, that’s where we were. We were fine, the door was closed, and someone had asked for our help and they seemed calm and kind and like they honestly could have used…they had some questions. So, for now we’ll leave it here and we’ll be back soon. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
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Multiplex
Maitre d’
https://restaurant-ingthroughhistory.com/2020/10/18/maitre-ds/
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/what-made-oscar-tschirky-king-gilded-age-new-york-180968885/
https://www.cincinnatimagazine.com/article/the-lost-art-of-maitre-ds/
Corn Cob Pipes
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/corncob_pipe_and_a_button_nose
Message Boards
https://onezero.medium.com/when-the-internet-was-good-a252bced92ac
https://www.illumy.com/bulletin-board-systems-the-secret-history-of-the-original-online-communities/
Malls
https://www.businessinsider.com/shopping-mall-rise-fall-timeline-1950s-to-today-2023-1
DOWN TO BUSINESS
I’m trying to think of the last time I played mini golf
My brain has many multi-colored balls rolling around
My balls are out of order
Multiplex
Deep Dark Night United
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INTRO
You could be traveling or you could have visitors
Maybe you work a different work schedule
You’re not alone
Other people probably don’t mean to minimize your sleep stuff, but we get it
One of my forms of caring for you is that you don’t have to listen to me
Just Kind of Pay Attention
The entire landscape of sleep audio has changed since I started this show
I’m not bringing any crumbs or chopping ice
I’ve never chewed ice on mic, I promise
I guess I’m kind of like a maitre d’
Then there’s a long meandering intro
It’s self-referential for sure but not self-congratulatory (I hope)
We’re kind of barely happy for those people and animals already asleep
Barely Humorous, Barely Entertaining
That’s a rave review for SWM
Monthly, someone will start supporting the show financially and say they used to hate SWM
Look at that candy colored like a honeydew
STORY
We take a trip into Multiplex
3 friends are playing mini golf
Wyatt is trying to get a course record and also scholarship money
Santanella, a road that Antonio passes
Wyatt is recording a recollection of a time from long ago
How to become a person among persons
How do you end up in the Nice Middle?
Was it Fair View or Fair Glen Mini Golf?
Me, Josie, San, and The Corn Cob Kid
The creek keeps going beyond the mini golf course
It’s a 6 to 8 lane road
Somewhere between a creek and a stream
Boyd always had a corn cob pipe, but not a button nose
People used to smoke pipes all the time
They tried to hook kids with corn cob pipes
Where are you coming from, Boyd?
A can of Dr. Julius’s Juice
A #10 can (a big can)
That was quite a heavy can
Dr. Juilus’s Juice Concentrate
This’ll make 100 glasses of juice
Boyd sold this can for $50
It’s sold to GiveMeMyJuiceDawg
A profile name from a message board
An online juice forum
Hundreds of cans just waiting to be taken
The mall’s been closed for 6 years
This is abandoned merchandise, so it’s ok to take
Didn’t the government fund it? Isn’t it theirs?
If only we had a truck, we could get it
There’s at least 20 cases, 12 cans to a case, $50 per can
Wow, that’s at least $12,000
50% for Boyd, 50% for the other 3
Go through the culvert
Go through the backdoor to DJJ
Then we’ll bring out the cans and load up the truck
5 hours tops
Who’s gonna catch us?
This is a win win win win situation
Wyatt is instantly in
Josie says they can use her pickup
We came up with a sleepover alibi
We waited for mini golf to shut down
Believe it or not, we weren’t actually trespassing to get to this culvert
Boyd had a couple blankets in case we needed to hide cans
Our feet and ankles got wet in the warm water of the culvert
This was a big culvert
A barred gate in the culvert
Boyd started wrenching the culvert gate open
I used to write off the corncob kid, but he was very ingenious
Boyd went on to a successful life after this
This was real, not like mini golf
This gate was more to keep people safe, but we’d be safe anyways
We’d walk to light and more bars
Presumably the culvert goes under the mall
The End of the Glen
One of the malls that time had left behind
A mall of our youth
A sad-looking low warehouse
Everything was just a little faded
2 sets of fences
Why is the barbed wire facing in on the second fence?
Why do they want to keep people in?
There’s nothing to be concerned about
San can’t go any further
Josie and San can’t get in trouble or they’ll lose their scholarships
Wyatt will get to keep the full 50%
The skylights had a tinge of green
Let’s meet at BK for breakfast at 6:30 the next night
Boyd and Wyatt head in
Some nice long hugs goodbye (for now)
I didn’t realize the importance of the bars on the culvert
If the wind could talk
That’s probably just the wind
I heard a swish, a splat, an ugh, and an ah
San and Josie were calling to us
Boyd and I headed to them
Josie was holding onto the culvert
Falling towards an angled dropoff
Boyd tried to secure us with his belt and rope
San slid
San is okay
Then Josie slid down
We could see them down about 15 feet
We rappelled down to them
Then the rope broke and they fell
We all were intact, but we couldn’t climb back up
The flashlights weren’t fully charged
Mapping out where we are
Didn’t the mall close because megacorporations were storing mysterious stuff under there?
Walking towards the mall
Boyd tries to build consensus
Josie and San want to get out
Boyd wants to go to the mall
Wyatt smells a smell from the non-mall direction
Smells like wet garbage
The mall direction smells dryer and cleaner
Let’s go the dry way
How did Josie and San get lost?
Josie and San were trying to mess with them with those noises, but it failed
They did a Sorry Not Sorry thing
It kept getting dryer and dryer and cleaner and cleaner
A ladder up into the mall
This is a maintenance corridor
Let’s find a map
This isn’t on the same side as DJJ
Posters of Different Characters from the Trick or Treat Season
Maybe these were band posters?
The posters were newer than 6 years old
We finally found a map
We could cut through the movie theater
Boyd was mapping out our journey
Then we heard something very distinct in the restroom
It sounded like someone groaning
We started running away and trying all the doors
Josie found an open door and we ran in their and hid
Boyd tries to keep the calm going
A voice came from behind the boxes behind us
This calm, welcoming person asks our help
I’m getting tired, so I’ll stop for now
SWM+ THANKS
Arne, Virginia, Nicholas, Becky, Heel, Hilary; Katie, Drew, Frankie, Lisa Marie, Cindy, Angie, Papa, Todd, Liz, Emma, Mariah, Patrick, Luke, Brianne, Katherine
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1,241
Title: Julius J Juice | Multiplex Ep2
Deep Dark Night United: Looking for Supporters
Plugs: Calm History Podcast; Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; Represent US; Pro Democracy Podcast Coalition; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF: Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: AquaTru; Helix Sleep; Wild Health; Polysleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
SWM+ Thanks: Arne, Virginia, Nicholas, Becky, Heel, Hilary; Katie, Drew, Frankie, Lisa Marie, Cindy, Angie, Papa, Todd, Liz, Emma, Mariah, Patrick, Luke, Brianne, Katherine
Notable Language:
- Just Kind of Pay Attention
- Kind of Barely Happy
- Barely Humorous, Barely Entertaining
- The Nice Middle
- Culvert
- Dr. Julius’s Juice
- GiveMeMyJuiceDawg
- Abandoned Merchandise
- Win Win Win Win Situation
- The End of the Glen
- Wailing Wind
- Sorry Not Sorry
- A Groan of Woe
Notable Culture:
- Multiplex
-
- Antonio Banderas
- Star Wars
- Frosty the Snowman
- Dr. Julius’s Juice
- Orange Julius
Notable Talking Points:
- You could be traveling or you could have visitors
- Maybe you work a different work schedule
- You’re not alone
- Other people probably don’t mean to minimize your sleep stuff, but we get it
- One of my forms of caring for you is that you don’t have to listen to me
- Just Kind of Pay Attention
- The entire landscape of sleep audio has changed since I started this show
- I’m not bringing any crumbs or chopping ice
- I’ve never chewed ice on mic, I promise
- I guess I’m kind of like a maitre d’
- Then there’s a long meandering intro
- It’s self-referential for sure but not self-congratulatory (I hope)
- We’re kind of barely happy for those people and animals already asleep
- Barely Humorous, Barely Entertaining
- That’s a rave review for SWM
- Monthly, someone will start supporting the show financially and say they used to hate SWM
- Look at that candy colored like a honeydew
- We take a trip into Multiplex
- 3 friends are playing mini golf
- Wyatt is trying to get a course record and also scholarship money
- Santanella, a road that Antonio passes
- Wyatt is recording a recollection of a time from long ago
- How to become a person among persons
- How do you end up in the Nice Middle?
- Was it Fair View or Fair Glen Mini Golf?
- Me, Josie, San, and The Corn Cob Kid
- The creek keeps going beyond the mini golf course
- It’s a 6 to 8 lane road
- Somewhere between a creek and a stream
- Boyd always had a corn cob pipe, but not a button nose
- People used to smoke pipes all the time
- They tried to hook kids with corn cob pipes
- Where are you coming from, Boyd?
- A can of Dr. Julius’s Juice
- A #10 can (a big can)
- That was quite a heavy can
- Dr. Juilus’s Juice Concentrate
- This’ll make 100 glasses of juice
- Boyd sold this can for $50
- It’s sold to GiveMeMyJuiceDawg
- A profile name from a message board
- An online juice forum
- Hundreds of cans just waiting to be taken
- The mall’s been closed for 6 years
- This is abandoned merchandise, so it’s ok to take
- Didn’t the government fund it? Isn’t it theirs?
- If only we had a truck, we could get it
- There’s at least 20 cases, 12 cans to a case, $50 per can
- Wow, that’s at least $12,000
- 50% for Boyd, 50% for the other 3
- Go through the culvert
- Go through the backdoor to DJJ
- Then we’ll bring out the cans and load up the truck
- 5 hours tops
- Who’s gonna catch us?
- This is a win win win win situation
- Wyatt is instantly in
- Josie says they can use her pickup
- We came up with a sleepover alibi
- We waited for mini golf to shut down
- Believe it or not, we weren’t actually trespassing to get to this culvert
- Boyd had a couple blankets in case we needed to hide cans
- Our feet and ankles got wet in the warm water of the culvert
- This was a big culvert
- A barred gate in the culvert
- Boyd started wrenching the culvert gate open
- I used to write off the corncob kid, but he was very ingenious
- Boyd went on to a successful life after this
- This was real, not like mini golf
- This gate was more to keep people safe, but we’d be safe anyways
- We’d walk to light and more bars
- Presumably the culvert goes under the mall
- The End of the Glen
- One of the malls that time had left behind
- A mall of our youth
- A sad-looking low warehouse
- Everything was just a little faded
- 2 sets of fences
- Why is the barbed wire facing in on the second fence?
- Why do they want to keep people in?
- There’s nothing to be concerned about
- San can’t go any further
- Josie and San can’t get in trouble or they’ll lose their scholarships
- Wyatt will get to keep the full 50%
- The skylights had a tinge of green
- Let’s meet at BK for breakfast at 6:30 the next night
- Boyd and Wyatt head in
- Some nice long hugs goodbye (for now)
- I didn’t realize the importance of the bars on the culvert
- If the wind could talk
- That’s probably just the wind
- I heard a swish, a splat, an ugh, and an ah
- San and Josie were calling to us
- Boyd and I headed to them
- Josie was holding onto the culvert
- Falling towards an angled dropoff
- Boyd tried to secure us with his belt and rope
- San slid
- San is okay
- Then Josie slid down
- We could see them down about 15 feet
- We rappelled down to them
- Then the rope broke and they fell
- We all were intact, but we couldn’t climb back up
- The flashlights weren’t fully charged
- Mapping out where we are
- Didn’t the mall close because megacorporations were storing mysterious stuff under there?
- Walking towards the mall
- Boyd tries to build consensus
- Josie and San want to get out
- Boyd wants to go to the mall
- Wyatt smells a smell from the non-mall direction
- Smells like wet garbage
- The mall direction smells dryer and cleaner
- Let’s go the dry way
- How did Josie and San get lost?
- Josie and San were trying to mess with them with those noises, but it failed
- They did a Sorry Not Sorry thing
- It kept getting dryer and dryer and cleaner and cleaner
- A ladder up into the mall
- This is a maintenance corridor
- Let’s find a map
- This isn’t on the same side as DJJ
- Posters of Different Characters from the Trick or Treat Season
- Maybe these were band posters?
- The posters were newer than 6 years old
- We finally found a map
- We could cut through the movie theater
- Boyd was mapping out our journey
- Then we heard something very distinct in the restroom
- It sounded like someone groaning
- We started running away and trying all the doors
- Josie found an open door and we ran in their and hid
- Boyd tries to keep the calm going
- A voice came from behind the boxes behind us
- This calm, welcoming person asks our help
- I’m getting tired, so I’ll stop for now