1222 – Primordial Soup for Post X-Mas | All Intros 896 – 900

All Intro

 

Growth of the Doctor (Doctor Who)

https://screenrant.com/doctor-who-original-reboot-changes-similarities/

https://theconversation.com/60-years-and-14-doctors-how-doctor-who-has-changed-with-the-times-and-ncuti-gatwas-casting-is-the-natural-next-step-182677

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/sci-fi/doctor-who-changes-dont-ruin-anything/

 

Coca Cola Advertising History

https://www.coca-colacompany.com/au/news/a-history-of-coca-cola-advertising-slogans

https://medium.com/swlh/coca-cola-ads-and-the-evolution-of-creativity-in-advertising-b0655b3da780

https://medium.com/ad-discovery-and-creativity-lab/coca-cola-1971-id-like-to-buy-the-world-a-coke-d570ddb85477

 

Boysenberry

https://www.thedevilwearsparsley.com/2014/03/27/the-history-of-the-boysenberry/

https://www.latimes.com/food/la-fo-boysenberry-20100527-story.html

https://www.pastemagazine.com/food/history/history-boysenberry-pie-knotts-farm/

 

Depictions of Shakespeare Over Time

https://www.folger.edu/shakespeare-unlimited/pop-culture-shakespeare

https://silibrary1.wordpress.com/2019/09/05/raising-the-ghost-shakespeare-as-fictional-character/

https://www.hartfordstage.org/stagenotes/hamlet/pop-culture

 

Moss Facts

https://www.kew.org/read-and-watch/moss

https://www.acrlatinoamerica.com/en/2010121311330/news/the-green/importance-of-mosses-for-the-environment-and-christmas.html

https://mcrcd.org/willits/moss-magic-in-the-plasma-forest

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

All Intro Holiday Interlude

Trees & Multiforms

 

Deep Dark Night United

Melanie (Zocdoc)

 

PLUGS

Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Wild Health; Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

 

STORY

• 896
• Soft, medium, hard serve, it’s all here
• Bill-Based Being (BBB)
• Most of my brain is primordial soup
• Starting the process of me earning your trust
• Pretend Active Listening
• Reflective Listening
• Talking Doctor Who
• I think me and the Doctor would get along pretty good
• I don’t believe, I know that you deserve a good night’s sleep
• 897
• Maybe you don’t know why you can’t sleep
• Emotional Physical Resonance
• Miffed, to put it mildly
• My natural tendency to umm and ahh
• I wish I could help everyone go to sleep
• Learning life lessons from soda
• Soft Drink Power
• A love song to soda
• Unifying the world via the Soda Accords
• The Protector Projector
• Shoutout to the fish listeners
• Talk about Creedence Clearwater Revival
• 898
• Repeated smoothing and patting out
• Levels of Bed Routine
• Is this a corporate Berry?
• Funk & Wagnall’s Encyclopedia
• Establishing an airflow superstructure in bed
• Holy Moly, I’m late to the game already
• Wow, Scoots was actually serious when he said don’t listen to him
• Discounting Scooter’s Idea Prices
• For once, my skepticism paid off
• Boysenberry feels so corporate
• It also reminds me of Bell Biv Devoe
• I’m more of a blackberry guy myself
• 899
• I’m leaning in to my distraction
• Podcaster Gets Honest About His Foibles
• Distracting you with my distractions
• Am I so distracted I’m repeating myself now?
• Just imagine we’re out of focus
• Reflective Listening
• Turn those synapses and ganglias down
• My whole body reflects sound waves
• Like a floating leaf on a stream
• Normally it’s the intro that throws people off
• Playing, Knitting, Hooking, Playing Hooky
• Drooling
• The Shakespeare Code
• Positive Reddit Comments intrude my thoughts
• Dissecting my Meandering
• I was editing a youtube video in my mind while talking to you
• And for that, I am sorry
• 900
• Thinking in the present about stuff that could happen in the future because of the past
• Maybe too much poutine
• I want to earn your trust so you forget I’m here
• Of course I’d like to be remembered sometimes
• Classic Inner Nana Behavior
• Reverse Psychology from the Nana in my Mind
• I want to be your background noise
• I’m trying to catch up with Peter’s cotton tail
• You’re telling me that trail is only for bunnies?
• A custom version of Operator
• The structure has evolved over 900 episodes
• Smaller than Microscopic Improvement
• Electron Microsopically Getting Better
• A look back on Real Time Recipes
• Do trees mind the moss that grows on them?
• Ocular Input Devices
• I got a whole ‘nother biome going
• Now I have flare
• What up to all past, present, and future listeners
• Thank you for listening
• This is a rare 2 way street

 

PATREON THANKS

n/a

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1,222

Title: Primordial Soup for Post X-Mas | All Intros 896 – 900

Deep Dark Night United: Melanie (Zocdoc)

Plugs: Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Wild Health; Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

Patreon Thanks: n/a

Notable Language:

• 896
• Bill-Based Being (BBB)
• Primordial Words
• Pretend Active Listening
• 897
• Emotional Physical Resonance
• Miffed
• Soft Drink Power
• The Soda Accords
• The Protector Projector
• 898
• Levels of Bed Routine
• Corporate Berry
• Boysenberry
• Discounting Scooter’s Idea Prices
• 899
• Distracting you with my distractions
• Reflective Listening
• Synapse
• Ganglia
• Drooling
• Playing, Knitting, Hooking, Playing Hooky
• 900
• Poutine
• The Nana in my Mind
• Peter’s Cotton Tail
• Electron Microsopically Getting Better
• Ocular Input Devices

 

Notable Culture:

• 896

• • Platypus

• Howard The Duck

• Doctor Who

• • 897
  • “Parents Just Don’t Understand” – Fresh Prince
  • Coca Cola
  • “I’d like to buy the world a coke”
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival
  • 898
  • Funk & Wagnall’s Encyclopedia
  • “Parents Just Don’t Understand” – Fresh Prince
  • Strawberry Shortcake
  • Bell Biv Devoe – “Poison”

• 899

• Doctor Who

• • William Shakespeare
  • Reddit
  • YouTube
  • 900
  • Poutine

• Peter Cottontail

• • “Operator” Game
  • Real Time Recipes

• Office Space

 

Notable Talking Points:

• • 896
  • Soft, medium, hard serve, it’s all here
  • Bill-Based Being (BBB)
  • Most of my brain is primordial soup
  • Starting the process of me earning your trust
  • Pretend Active Listening
  • Reflective Listening
  • Talking Doctor Who
  • I think me and the Doctor would get along pretty good
  • I don’t believe, I know that you deserve a good night’s sleep
  • 897
  • Maybe you don’t know why you can’t sleep
  • Emotional Physical Resonance
  • Miffed, to put it mildly
  • My natural tendency to umm and ahh
  • Learning life lessons from soda
  • Soft Drink Power
  • A love song to soda
  • Unifying the world via the Soda Accords
  • The Protector Projector
  • Shoutout to the fish listeners
  • Talk about Creedence Clearwater Revival
  • 898
  • Repeated smoothing and patting out
  • Levels of Bed Routine
  • Is this a corporate Berry?
  • Funk & Wagnall’s Encyclopedia
  • Establishing an airflow superstructure in bed
  • Holy Moly, I’m late to the game already
  • Wow, Scoots was actually serious when he said don’t listen to him
  • Discounting Scooter’s Idea Prices
  • For once, my skepticism paid off
  • Boysenberry feels so corporate
  • It also reminds me of Bell Biv Devoe
  • I’m more of a blackberry guy myself
  • 899
  • I’m leaning in to my distraction
  • Podcaster Gets Honest About His Foibles
  • Distracting you with my distractions
  • Am I so distracted I’m repeating myself now?
  • Just imagine we’re out of focus
  • Reflective Listening
  • Turn those synapses and ganglias down
  • My whole body reflects sound waves
  • Like a floating leaf on a stream
  • Normally it’s the intro that throws people off
  • Playing, Knitting, Hooking, Playing Hooky
  • The Shakespeare Code
  • Positive Reddit Comments intrude my thoughts
  • Dissecting my Meandering
  • I was editing a youtube video in my mind while talking to you
  • And for that, I am sorry
  • 900
  • Thinking in the present about stuff that could happen in the future because of the past
  • Maybe too much poutine
  • I want to earn your trust so you forget I’m here
  • Of course I’d like to be remembered sometimes
  • Classic Inner Nana Behavior
  • Reverse Psychology from the Nana in my Mind
  • I want to be your background noise
  • I’m trying to catch up with Peter’s cotton tail
  • You’re telling me that trail is only for bunnies?
  • A custom version of Operator

• The structure has evolved over 900 episodes

• Smaller than Microscopic Improvement
• Electron Microsopically Getting Better
• A look back on Real Time Recipes
• Do trees mind the moss that grows on them?
• Ocular Input Devices
• I got a whole ‘nother biome going
• Now I have flare
• What up to all past, present, and future listeners
• Thank you for listening
• This is a rare 2 way street

Episode 1222 – Primordial Soup for Post X-Mas | All Intros 896 – 900

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, trees and Multi-forms, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep, patrons. You support it and you enable…you make it possible. Thanks so much.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or schedule, so anything on your mind that you’re thinking about, anything you’re feeling or coming up for you emotionally or physical sensations. But also you might work the second or third shift. You might be on-call. You might have a lot of other stuff going on.

 

Whatever it is, I’m here to take your mind off of that and help you fall asleep. The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna create a safe place. I’m gonna smooth it, this safe place. I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna rub it down, I’m gonna say ‘safe place’. I’m making the motion with my hands of smoothing and patting, just like it was a cushiony safe place. We have plenty of…you say, well, I prefer a softer…I say, oh boy, I got…you want soft, medium, firm, soft and firm? I got it all. You say, I don't…whether you prefer soft-serve, hard-serve, gelato, yogurt, we got a safe place that metaphorically fits the bill. If you have a bill, like you’re a duck-based being related to Howard the Duck or something else, we have plenty of places that are comfortable, bills or no…you say, okay, I got a bill; I’m a platypus.

 

I say, well, you’re in the right place, 'cause I got…holy mackerel. So, whatever it is, I’m gonna…the way I establish it, though, is…what I really do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which you’ve already heard, and you might be not sure about the creaky, dulcet tones, so give it a try. I’m gonna also use…I have pointless meanders, whatever those are called…pre-words…before words were formulated back in the…what are they…? Most of my brain is primordial soup. It’s been identified recently. So, some of my words are primordial words. You say, that’s not even…what kind of…that’s not a root, is it? It’s more like a…I’d say, no, it’s like clumps of dirt. I don't even…some of my words are not based on any roots.

 

They’re just stuff like that, primordial words, or word fragments, I guess in this case. Pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…I go off topic all the time. But all that is to kinda take your mind off of stuff and help you fall asleep. Now, if you’re new, quite a few things I want to let you know about to establish some rapport, if possible, and to start the process of me earning your trust, 'cause that’s really what my job is as bedtime storyteller. This is asking you to participate in something that’s a little bit different. So, that’s a few things to know. One, if you’re skeptical or doubtful or unsure about this podcast or my voice or my manner, that is totally normal. I would say 95% of regular listeners had the same reaction you’re having now. ‘Cause you might say, what’s a creaky, dulcet tone?

 

Or you might say, who…how are you gonna put me to sleep, or when are you gonna get to the point, or what are you up to? Are you sure you know what primordial soup is or fragments or…? I say, no, not really. I’m not sure about really anything except for my intention, which I’ll kinda run through in a second. But first I gotta go off topic. Well, I gotta kinda stay on topic. So, if you’re doubtful, give the show a few tries. That’s what millions of listeners have said; well, it took two or three tries before I got used to the podcast. So, you could just kinda see how it goes. Also, the podcast is not best…it’s best consumed loosely or out-of-focus or barely listening. This is one of the few podcasts you don’t need to listen to.

 

They have this thing called active listening, then you kinda have pretend active listening where you’re kinda listening to something. In Sleep With Me’s case, it’s almost like reflective listening. You say, well, my brain’s not necessarily calculating what you’re saying, but I know your words are reflecting off my eardrums. So, kinda just see how it goes, but don’t…you don’t need to pay too much attention. Or if you’re kinda waiting and wondering when things are gonna get started, they probably will get barely started at some point, but it’s gonna take a while 'cause this is just…that’s just part of the show, which I’ll explain in more detail in a second. But the other thing is…now, there’s…every day there feels like there’s more and more sleep podcasts or sleep solutions, and believe it or not, I’ve been doing this show since 2013.

 

This podcast is not really meant to put you to sleep. It’s more here to keep you company as you fall asleep. My purpose is more to take your mind off of stuff so you can fall asleep, to kinda clear off the old…whatever, clear off that thing and say, hey, you pay attention to me instead of paying attention to your brain, the old…you know, the more feisty parts of your brain that come up at bedtime, or feelings or physical sensations. I’m here to distract you and keep you company, be your your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie. If you’re in San Diego, bore-bruh, or where…if you’re out there on…somewhere else where…so, that’s my job, is to keep you company as you drift off. Another thing that can throw new people off is the idea that the podcast is structured very differently.

 

So, our show starts off with a welcome; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, so that everybody knows they’re welcome, they’re seen, and my goal is to treat you all with dignity and respect. Then we have business, and that’s how we’re just able…that’s just the reality to bring you the show for free. There’s maybe, I don't know, somewhere between two and eight minutes of business. Then there’s an intro which is around twelve to twenty minutes long. Sometimes people feel like that’s business too, but it’s really…there’s no business. I guess I’m in no business of doing podcast intros, because our intro…most intros…you’d say, well, shouldn’t a intro be like, two minutes and shouldn’t you just get to the point? I’d say, well, not necessarily.

 

In a sleep podcast, what I’ve discovered is the intro gives you a chance to wind down. Now, there is 2% of listeners that skip ahead straight to the story, and then there’s a couple thousand listeners that support the show on Patreon and listen to story-only episodes, but other than that…whatever, the other couple hundred thousand people listen to the intro. The way that kinda works is that…the idea of the intro is that as you become a regular listener, you see what works for you. But the intro is kinda supposed to be part of your wind-down routine. Or, that’s what I’ve discovered. So, some people start it as they’re getting ready for bed and they’re starting their wind-down routine or their bedtime routine or their skincare routine or stretching or journaling or knitting, petting animals, doodling, quiet sitting.

 

So, you could kinda see…or some people start it when they get into bed and they’re just getting comfortable and letting the day drift away. So, the intro is your runway. For regular listeners it’s new 'cause every intro is different, but it’s also familiar because my attempt to make the intro make sense is…it happens…it’s happened, whatever, almost 900 times now. So, then after the intro there will be some business, then we’ll talk about an episode of Doctor Who, a David Tennant episode. If you don’t watch Doctor Who or you’re a superfan or you never even heard of it or you’re worried about spoilers, don't worry. My recap will be very sleepy and it might not make any sense to anybody. I mean, I’m sure…I don't think I could confuse the Doctor.

 

I think the Doctor would be able to figure…the Doctor would probably just…I think me and the Doctor would get along pretty good. You say, which Doctor would you get along with best, Scoots? I’d say, well, I mean, they’re all pretty cool, but…well, I’m not covering Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor. Maybe we could…but so, what was I saying? Sorry, I’m blushing now. Oh, but so…what was I saying? Oh, this podcast doesn’t make any sense. Oh, so, we’ll talk about Doctor Who but in a very indirect way, and then there’s some thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show. You don’t need to listen to it. No pressure to fall asleep.

 

Now, the reason I make the show is because I’ve been there and I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. All those things happen for me; waking up super early, waking up…all that stuff I’m familiar with and I know how it feels, and I don't want that for you. Or in some sense, I just don’t want the dread that comes with that. I want to be able to create a situation where Sleep With Me becomes part of a routine with other cool stuff that might…looking at flowers or look…maybe you do some flower-pressing or leaf-pressing or something and you start listening to Sleep With Me and you say, okay, well, now at bedtime I know I’m gonna do some stretching, some quiet sitting.

 

I’m gonna get out my wax paper and look…press a leaf or press a flower or look at a pressed leaf from the autumn, and I’m gonna listen to Scoots. That’s not half-bad, so it kinda interrupts that bedtime dread. The other reason I make the show is because I know…not only do I know how it feels, but I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep. It might be harder for you to believe that. I mean, believe me; I know. But I believe that. I know that. I don't believe it; I know you deserve a good night’s sleep. I also know our world will be a better place if you have a little bit of rest, if there’s a little bit more rest and rested people in there, people are gonna flourish. So, that’s my goal. I just do it a little bit differently.

 

So, the main advice regular listeners give is give it a few tries and just see how it goes. There’s really nothing to lose except for a little bit of time. Now, some of you might already know that you don’t like the show or you don’t enjoy me, and that’s cool, too. I do have a site, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou you could check out as well. But I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you found your way to the show. I really hope…I work really hard 'cause I really want to help you fall asleep. So again, I appreciate you coming by, and I hope I can help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple ways we’re able to bring you this podcast for free.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts or feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature, so things that might be on your mind or things you’re feeling or experiencing physically or emotionally coming up for you, or places you are. You might not be sleeping at home and…or someone else might be gone or your might be anticipating something. Or it could just be a mystery. You could say, I don't know why.

 

I’m just having trouble getting to sleep. Yeah, not sure why. Trouble staying asleep? Yeah, not sure why. Waking up early and needing someone to put you back to sleep? Got you there, too. I can be used in all those ways and many more. So, I’m not sure exactly what’s keeping you awake, but…I mean, the key thing is a lot of times I can relate to how you feel, even physically. I don't know if you could…just felt that, but I had…I tried to really…I do really try to put myself in your position, even those of you that are already like, this is not the podcast for me and I’m going to one-star you right now. Usually that manifests in the same place, like behind my upper ribcage in the center of my chest. That’s one place that I say…when I…not when I can’t sleep.

 

It’s not what keeps me awake, but it’s when I can’t…after I start to think about it, I can’t fall asleep. You know what I’m saying. There’s a little activity there behind the old ribcage. It’s like some sort of emotional resonance. I don't know if that’s actually a word, but where some of my feelings and organs are getting together and they’re saying, Scoots, we’re not happy about this, either, this situation. We’re a bit miffed, to say it mildly. So, whatever’s keeping you awake, here’s my proposition. Now, of course, I want to say, here’s the situation, parents…I say that one out of three intros. Parents went away on a week’s vacation…but here’s my proposition; I’m gonna try to create this safe place here, and you can hang those at the door or you could bring in whatever’s keeping you awake.

 

I’ll try to take your mind off of it and whatever’s keeping you awake off of itself or off of you, saying, I gotta get that human’s attention. Gotta shake the old ribcage. That’s what…you say, wait, what’s your job? Well, I’m the ultimate protector of you. Well, actually, I just protect…well, a projection. Whoops. Holy Freud, you got me. I’ll tell you what, Ultimate Projector Protector, could I get back to you in a second? Because I was gonna tell the listeners, especially new ones…so, what I’m gonna do is create a safe place. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night…the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.

 

So, that means I’ll go off topic, which you’ve kinda already seen already…word repetition; that’s definitely a technique I’ve mastered, or maybe that was a natural technique I’ve exploited. My natural tendency to reuse words…and uh’s and ah’s and those kind of things. But if you’re new, a few things to know. I really am glad you’re here because I’d like to help if I can. Now, this podcast does not work for everybody and definitely not everybody likes it, but see how it goes. I don't say this in a way…I don't gain anything by this, but that most listeners, almost…I guess sometimes I want to say 99%, but maybe it’s like 80…it’s definitely over 80% that said, I had to listen to it two or three times before I realized that there was kinda nothing to figure out.

 

This podcast didn’t make any…it makes so little sense, it makes perfect sense, because I’m in the business of nonsense. But so, give it a few tries and just see how it goes. But it does not work for everybody. I really wish it did. I really wish I could help everyone in the world fall asleep. Holy mackerel. ‘Cause when I was a kid, the soda companies were the ones…you wouldn’t believe this, most of you that are listening, but that’s…you say, Scoots, where do you learn all of your great things about life and…? I say, well, commercials that I watched as a kid, cartoons I watched as a kid, and sitcoms I watched as a kid. Once upon a time there was a soda company and they said…they put forth a proposition via song that if you could just buy everyone in the world a soda, that would be it, bliss city, worldwide bliss.

 

I think that’s always stuck with me. I said, one day…and I don't know, maybe…I mean, there’s probably a few people here in the US that could easily buy the world a soda or two. But that was a song. It was really…and they showed the whole globe in unity, in joy. It was a dream. Maybe it was somebody’s…some part of my brain said, you know it was a commercial, right? I said, well, they also…the soda companies also are very…polar bears love them, too, so I’m not sure you’re exactly right. But I carry that dream with me that one day…I don't know what they called it. Talk about soft-drink power, soft power. It was soft-drink power, the soft-drink revolution. It wasn’t even…people were just so…they said, wow, this is great. I think it all started as it always does, with a child singing about…it was a love song to soda.

 

I think the child loved soda and the world so much…and here’s the thing; I love soda. I try not to drink it…only one…over a one-day period a week like a cheat day or whatever, but I fail at that, too. But that’s what I’m striving to do. But so…but as a youth that stayed with me. I guess that was my point. Now I wish I could just lull the world a lull and you’d be drifting off in sleepy harmony or whatever. But this podcast doesn’t work for everybody. That was my meandering way of saying that. I wish it did, just like I wish I could buy…if you don’t drink soda I’d buy something else, but I wish I could buy you one, or something that’s actually…something that you could use, too. But where was I? So, if you’re new, the podcast doesn’t work for everybody…this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to.

 

Now, there’s a lot of people that do listen and there’s people that kinda listen, there’s people that barely listen, and there’s people that are finding new ways of just barely listening at all. So, you could kinda see how it goes. But if you’re new, it’s…if you’re listening very closely and trying to follow along and figure stuff out…I mean, clearly I think I’ve already made my case that I don't really need to be fully listened to, because…you can’t give everything I’m saying full credence. So, you could kinda barely listen, almost like the soft focus of that sweet, sweet…sweet, sweet dream that I had about the world being unified under the soda powers. The Soda Accords. So, that’s one thing. This is also a podcast…it doesn’t really put you to sleep.

 

I’m more here to keep you company as you drift off. I’m your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh. I mean, one day…whatever people are saying now, in three years from now, I’ll be saying that. So, I’m here to keep you company, take your mind off of stuff as you drift off, and walk at your side as you float away into dreamland. That’s why the shows are about an hour, to give you plenty of time to fall asleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep. No pressure to listen. As a matter of fact, if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here ‘til the very end, 'cause I do make this show with a couple kinds of listeners in mind.

 

One thing I actually believe that by the show…the episodes being a hour and fully complete, that it somehow helps parts of those…part of your brain that’s kinda active is kinda…you know, don’t let me puff up my ego too much, but those parts of your brain that are usually bugging you, for some reason…you might not like me that much, but those parts of your brain that are…when you say, what was…what’s the purpose of that one tiny aspect of my personality? Oh, who are we talking about? The Protector Projector. You say, what is your job, exact…? Well, I project the past onto the future in order to protect you, or I project the future onto the present with an immediacy, or I’ll project our values onto somebody else and then do a comparison.

 

It’s not exactly…it feels like an…you know, those are my jobs, to keep you safe. You say, I don't know how any of that…well, just trying to protect you. Just doing my job. When were you invented, Projector Protector? Well, you know, I just came about one day, sprang into existence. Would you like to be in this episode coming up? ‘Cause I’m towards…maybe we could do…could we do a episode with you? Would you be comfortable with that? Well, I don't know. You’re the one that’s gotta do the work. Yeah, I don't know. We’ll see. Maybe we could talk about that tonight. But usually those parts of our brains or your…they say, huh, this Scoots, he makes a lot of mistakes. I better keep my eye on him. Let my human rest. Holy fallible. They love…most…I call them brainbots.

 

They love…they’ve never seen anyone as…I get their mail. Believe it or not, they say, I’ve never seen anyone as fallible as you. You don’t even know how to use that word. I say, well, that’s my job. Just doing my job. I’m a performer. Then they laugh knowingly. I say, well, I’m just doing the service I can…they say, yeah, you’re making the most of what you got. Hardy…and I say, yeah. So, what was my point, though? Oh, it’s a…oh, so the reason the episodes are about an hour is in case you can’t sleep. I’m gonna be here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep. So, if you can’t sleep, I’m here. If you listen all night…these episodes are not perfect for all-night listening. A lot of stuff on Patreon’s a little bit better. That’s a plug, but it’s just the reality of making the podcast. It has to have some support.

 

But there are people that listen all night, and that’s because maybe they’re waking up. So, I’m here when you wake up. So, I’m just here for you in this way that I can be here for you, which is a strange way. I’m a strange person and I’m here in a strange but well-intentioned way to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff as you fall asleep. Structurally, if you’re new — way too late to explain this to you, but I will — the show starts off with about five minutes of business, five to six minutes of business or so, ideally maybe…I’m always trying to trim it as short as I can, but that’s how we keep the podcast free for everybody. Then there’s an intro. Now, the intro…sometimes people get the intro and the business mixed up because the intro is mixed up.

 

I just talk for about twelve to twenty minutes about the podcast and how I’m here to kinda help you fall asleep and to keep you company. But the real purpose of the intro is to give you time to wind down, whether you’re getting ready for bed or you’re in bed and you’re getting comfortable and kinda sinking in. The intro’s where the day kinda fades away and it’s also where you can learn insights. For all of you that are younger, you say, geez, I didn’t really know about the time the soda companies…did they actually save the world, Scoots, or did they just try? I say, wow, great question. Really…hopefully the world works out better in your hands than…I don't know. Maybe hopefully whatever you saw…yeah. No, I used to watch a lot of commercials. You get to skip a lot more than I do. But I’m not sure.

 

But I’m here to help you fall asleep. So, the intro is just a long-winded way of me trying to check in and tell new people about the podcast. But for regular listeners…what up, regular listeners and all my pets that also listen to the podcast? You’re not my pets; you’re our pets. My fishes; what’s up with the fishes in the room? Because you don’t get enough…talk about Creedence Clearwater Revival. I don't know what that means, fishes, but…I know you can’t be petted, but you could be treated with…you could get attention. Also, all the other pets…sorry I can’t call all of you out. Not all of you are sleep…as sleepy as the big two, cats and dogs, who are great and deserve to be petted right now. But all you other pets are darn…holy cow, are you…is this the cutest group of pets I’ve ever seen in the world?

 

So, also, I pander to pets or acknowledge their greatness. What was I talking about? The intro. Oh, so that’s another part of the intro. So, it introduces…helps you get ready, get comfortable, and start to drift off. Then we’ll do a story. Originally I thought this intro was gonna be about something else, but apparently it’ll probably be looking at our friend, Projector Protector, just 'cause I like saying that. Yeah, I think that’s it. Oh, then there’s some thank-yous at the end. There’s also business between the intro and the show…the bedtime story.

 

That’s kinda just how…it’s easier if…when your hand hits the fridge tomorrow you just say, oh, how do I support the show? But that’s where the ads are, and I think that’s it. I’m…hope I can help you fall asleep. Give it a few tries. Try not to take this…if you’re skeptical, it totally makes sense. Almost every listener came here skeptical and doubtful. Of course you would be. But I’m really glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I work very hard on the show. I yearn and I strive, and let’s see how it goes, right? Here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep this podcast free for everybody.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, so things on your mind from the past, present, or future, feelings, any emotions that might be coming up for you feeling-wise, or physical sensations you’re feeling. So thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, maybe changes in schedule, work routine, or just other stuff. It could be inside. It could be outside.

 

Could be seasonal or it could be sit…whatever it is that’s keeping you up, I’m here to take your mind off of that, and here’s what I propose to do; I’m gonna try to create a safe place where you could set all that aside, like I said. I’m gonna smooth it, I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna rub it down, I’m gonna say ‘safe place’, and then I’m gonna smooth it and pat it and rub it down again, and then smooth it out and then pat it, because that’s what I do. I don't have that level of bed routine, but if I did, I’d say, well, could you smooth that and pat…shouldn’t you pat it last? Smooth it, pat it, rub it down, say ‘safe place’, smooth it out, then do a welcoming pat. Okay. Okay, then what…? Oh, then…that’s to try to create…establish a safe place. Another technique I’m gonna use is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which is how my voice sounds, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up. Like I said, I’m gonna…sometimes my mixed-up words…I realize those are real words, like boysenberry, which again is not spelled how I would think to spell it. Smell it? I don't know. It also…this is a fair question; is a boys…is that a real thing or is that one of the great corporate berries that have been…? But is it a corporate berry? I’ve heard of boysenberry pie, but I didn’t know if it was…boysenberry pie; there’s no…no berries are included in this pie, but it is…and I say, well, it is delicious. So, we’ll come back to that. But yeah, basically, here’s the thing; if you’re a regular listener, thanks for coming back. So good to see you.

 

What should I do with your feet tonight? Okay, by the way, I like that…yeah, I’m really impressed. Okay, do you want your feet in or…? Okay, okay. What about one foot in, one foot out? What if I build a tent using your toes for airflow? Then if you decide you want full…then you could just pull your feet back and the tent will close. Okay, yeah, or I could do it with this book here and then you could just kick the book right out of bed. You could do…maybe that would be something empowering. Maybe that could be a new thing we all do. You say, hold on, Scoots; I thought you were intro…okay, well, I’m just working with the new…usually I talk to the new listeners, but this is an idea for regular listeners. You say, okay Scoots, this sounds like one of your wild ideas. It is.

 

You take a book, preferably a hardcover book, probably…not unabridged, but I’m thinking about something like one of those Reader’s Digest abridged summaries of a bunch of books, 'cause those are usually pretty sturdy. You know, or a Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedia. I can’t get enough of saying Funk & Wagnalls. You set it up in a A-frame situation. Parents went away on a week’s vacation…yeah, no, this is different, though. At the foot of your bed…and then you use that A-frame as a superstructure to tent the end of your blankets. Then you could place your feet either on the air hole on the other side of the A-frame superstructure or on either side. You could decide. What will that accomplish, Scoots? Well, one; airflow.

 

Two…this is more important, actually, than the airflow; gives you a feeling of control and options. Okay, Scoots. Tell me more. Well, okay. So, one, you know, okay, the…depending on what’s at the foot of your bed, obviously you gotta think about that, because if…when I have guests…I don't have a guest room. When I set up my guest bed, it’s actually at the foot of my bed, so I couldn’t do this if I had a guest laying…sleeping on a mattress on my floor. So, just in case anybody’s in that situation…so, you have the book there, the bed book…Bed Book; now available from the Sleep With Me store. It’s an old book that goes in your bed. It’s a bed book. But so, then you could say, okay, well, I like this. My feet…I like this feeling of airflow with my feet, or I can put my feet in. Like, you could put your feet out.

 

You could say, hey, toesie-poohs, you want to go look outside the…out of the comfort of the blanket? Go on down there. Peek around. See what you see. Then they could come back. But then you could also…for a couple different reasons, you could say, well, I prefer to get my feet now fully-enclosed in my comforter and blankets. You just kick that…the book outta there. Or it could be something symbolic or less than symbolic where you say, you know what? This book is…I’m fed up with this airflow. Then you don’t have to kick the book; you just push it forcefully out of your bed. Or it could be a way you could release some other feelings. If you have a partner that’s sound asleep and snoring, you could say, this pushing…this forceful pushing of this book out of my bed symbolizes the strong feelings I feel, and now I’m ready for bed.

 

It could be one more part of your bedtime routine. So, that’s just an option I thought of just now. Now, if you’re a new listener, holy moly, I’m late to the game already. A couple things to know, which maybe you figured out; this is a podcast that barely ever gets to any point. It doesn’t go anywhere but it kinda does. It takes forever to get there. So, if you’re new, try to barely pay me any attention, and I know that’s hard when you’re new. You really have to learn that…oh wait, he’s serious. He doesn’t want us to pay any…barely attention. We could pay attention to him, but we don’t need to, and if you try to pay too much attention to me, that’s when it’s like…it doesn’t work out, ‘cause you say, when is this show gonna get started? So, just kinda loosely consume the podcast.

 

Though this idea…you might see me…you might see right through me, but for me, this could be…this is a free idea that could work for everyone. This is groundbreaking stuff for me, putting a book at the end of your bed. It could be…I say, that’s a free idea. You know who else…? I don't remember any of those other famous inventers or astronomers or whatever, philosophers. Maybe some of them gave their ideas away. They say, well, Scoots, I don't know if it could really put…your ideas, we can’t put a price on them. Right. You mean that’s a priceless idea? No. I’d say it’s just hard to put a price on that, the idea of putting a book at the end of your bed. So, it’s priceless. No. It’s hard to price it. You’d say, well, it’s a free idea. Maybe that’s the right price. Okay, thanks. Oh, so, barely pay any attention.

 

So, this is a pod…one of the few podcasts you don’t really need to listen to. That’s one thing. The second thing to know is that this isn’t really a podcast to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you drift off, not really to put you to sleep. I’m here to be at your bedside and to take your mind off of stuff and just be here talking and…while you fall asleep. I’m gently walking at your side while you drift off. That’s kinda why the shows are about an hour. It gives you plenty of time to fall asleep, and then if you can’t sleep, you know I’m gonna be here for you. I’m gonna be here to the very end, episode after episode. So if you can’t sleep, I’m here, too, or if you wake up or whatever. So, those are a couple things to know. Now, the other things, if you’re new, that can throw new listeners off are a few things.

 

The structure of the show…so, listening to the show, that throws people off right away. The idea that I’m here to put you to sleep but not really, that throws people off. Creaky, dulcet tones and my inability to speak throw people off. So, those are all natural reactions, because I think I forgot to say this podcast is…definitely does not work for everybody. I don't even think it works for the majority of people that listen to it for one to three times. But most regular listeners, which is a pretty big number of people, they said it took two or three tries. Now I listen every night or now I listen whenever I need it, because I realized all the stuff…Scoots was serious when we said don’t listen to him, and it made sense when he said, well, your ideas aren’t priceless, Scoots; they’re just hard to price 'cause I don't…what do you mean?

 

Yeah, we don’t know whether to discount…I’m not discounting your ideas. I’m just wondering what the discount we would put on your idea when we price it…like, how to build that in. Okay, that sounds familiar to other tangents I’ve been on. It probably is, Scoots. Probably those were hard to price, too. So, okay, so those…oh, structure; that’s the other thing that can throw new listeners off. So, the show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, so that you know you’re welcome here. Ideally I can maintain the rapport and trust I’m trying to build to create a safe place, though I don't always achieve that. I’m not perfect. That’s what I’m striving to do. So, then there’s business. So, the business is about four to eight minutes long of me rambling.

 

Even the business, I try to get to the point. I try to make that a little bit flashier because that’s how we bring you the show twice a week. Then after that is the intro, which is…the intro is around…from minute, whatever, minute six to minute twenty or so. It could be from any of those minutes to any minutes in the…but the intro’s about twelve to twenty minutes, which we’re already probably twelve minutes into it. So, we’re gonna be longer than twelve minutes tonight of me trying to introduce the podcast…800, 900 times I’ve tried to do it and not successfully summed it up, because it’s hard to price. It’s hard to describe. But the other thing for the regular listener is the intro is part of the show. It’s part of their wind-down routine. The whole thing is to ease you off into bedtime.

 

So, some people start listening as they’re getting ready for bed and they’re doing their wind-down routine. Some people listen when they’re in bed. Some people listen during the day while they’re working or, whatever, when you need a break. But the idea is the intro slowly gives you some space from the day and starts to relax you or distract you. Then we’ll go into…then there’s business after the intro, and then I’ll do our seasonal series…episodically modular series, Otter Things. So, that’s the structure of…and, oh, then there’s some thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show. Then, yeah, some listeners skip the…like, 2% of listeners start the show around twenty minutes, then another 2% or 3% of listeners, maybe up to 5%, set a sleep timer for thirty, forty-five, or sixty minutes.

 

Some people listen all night, though I don't know if this version is the best. The Patreon versions are a little bit better to listen to all night. But so, that’s…you could kinda discover how you’re gonna consume the show. At first just see how it goes. Like most listeners said, it didn’t work the first time, didn’t work the second time. I was skeptical then I realized I was skeptical for…it’s like, oh, my skepticism was…paid off. For once, my skepticism paid off 'cause I was skeptical and doubtful and then I fell asleep. So, that’s it. I guess I was gonna talk about boysenberries, because I’ve heard that term and you’d think it would have an ‘O-I’ in there, but I think it’s a…B-O-Y or something. N-E-S or E-N-S. Boysenberry. But I always feel like a boysenberry is a marketing berry, or like I said, a corporate berry.

 

Then it makes me think of Strawberry Shortcake, 'cause she ran with a lot of berry-based creatures or beings. So, I don't know if there was a boysenberry. But I always think of the Bell Biv DeVoe song, so I would try to say, well, boysenberry rhymes with that…one of their more popular songs, but not spelled the same. So, normally I would try to spell it B-O-I…'cause then I’d say, da-da-da-da in full effect. You ready? Yeah, I’m ready. Let me try to spell it. Listener, I must warn you that I can’t spell. B-O…you know. So, that’s how I…that’s normally how I spell everything. But so, where was I? Oh, so, I’m not exactly sure…I’m sure I’ll get messages after this; oh yeah, a boysenberry’s a real thing.

 

I say, okay, in my mind it looks like somewhere…and here’s one thing you need to know about me; I prefer…I’m not…I’ll eat raspberries but I’m much more of a blackberry or those type of…that side of the berry family. I appreciate a raspberry. But I don't know, I think because I picked berries…as a kid, there was some pricker bushes we had access to, and so, we would pick those and eat those. So, I don't know, then I always think of those more wild blackberry-type berries. So, I don't know if…which boysenberry…if a boysenberry is either one of those. You should know also I’m a big…I love pies. Holy pie fan. Put me…3.14, hold the phone because…I’ll have 3.14 pieces of pie. Make one cold, make one for breakfast, and a…one with whip cream, one with a la mode.

 

But yeah, so…I don't know where…what my point was there, either. Oh, boy. But yeah, so, I guess here’s the thing; the reason I make the show is because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place of respite, and ideally whether it’s this podcast or something else, you deserve something that makes bedtime less stressful and maybe something you can feel neutral about or look forward to. I hope this show can provide it, but I know it doesn’t provide it for everybody. So, if it doesn’t, I hope you find something that works. The other reason I make the show is because I’ve been there. I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.

 

So, I just want to help because I know how it feels and I know it feels L-O-N-L-E-Y sometimes for me, or frustrating or whatever other words I can’t spell, or boysenberry. I can’t say boysenberry-y, because that’s too many…anyway, so, I’m here. I appreciate you coming by and checking this show out. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really want to help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to bring you this podcast free on a regular basis.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you…where…to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature…sorry, I got distracted. I seriously apologize, listeners. I don't know if you have this experience at bedtime or daytime, but you’re doing one thing and then your mind goes somewhere else. I’m leaning in right now.

 

Another part of my brain said, Scoots, what about that thing we were…we had to get done? Part of me…and I’m not…I can be honest with you. You might be a new listener; this might be new to you, a podcaster getting honest about his foibles. But yeah, one part of my brain just took off on me and said…and it got my attention. It said, Scoots, we gotta talk about this thing. It started telling me all this stuff while I was just talking there for the past fourteen seconds or so. That’s not really fair because I’m really here to pay attention to you and try to be in the moment. I kinda got sucked out of the moment there. So, I’m gonna kinda reset and then maybe we’ll come back to this. So, we do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest.

 

That’s right around…I could even…I’ll go into what happened, too. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where…reestablish it, in this case, where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be things you’re thinking about, past, present, or future, right? We just got an example of how that happens even during the day. But for me, it’s…at night it’s even more amplified. It could be feelings or emotions coming up for you. But I’m trying to have a grounded thing of…for me and say, hey, well, it’s realistic, Scoots. Everybody gets spun out and distracted, even sleep podcasters.

 

So, you could be having feelings about anything, though, and that might even be…they might just be coming up and you don’t even know where they came from. I’m here to keep you company through that. It could be physical sensations. Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that and keep you company as you drift off. That’s my job. Now, if you’re new, before I get to the distractions…distracting you with my distractions, let me set up a couple things for you if you’re new, 'cause this podcast is very different and it could throw new listeners off. Understandably you might be coming to this show skeptical or doubtful or confused, and those are all legitimate ways to view this podcast at first, because it is different.

 

Of course if you can’t sleep or you have trouble sleeping, you say, what…is this person gonna put me to sleep? Doing what? Or what are they up to? That’s totally normal. Also, I have creaky, dulcet tones and pointless meanders. Did I say that? Am I so distracted…? That’s how I do this. I create a safe place by sending my voice across the deep, dark night using lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones and pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, that’s not everybody’s cup of tea at first. Now, most listeners say give it a few tries and see how it goes. The best way to listen to this podcast is to barely not listen or mostly not…mostly barely pay attention. Just imagine we’re out of focus a little bit. You’re saying, hm, Scoots, you’re coming…I don't really need…yeah, you don’t have to hold my words in your ears.

 

You could just let them bounce off. I call it reflective listening. There’s active listening and all that stuff. Reflective listening…I think this is the only example other than when you’re not…other than…I’m sure there’s people that are intentionally reflective listening, but those are people on a mountaintop or under a Bodhi tree. But this is for regular, everyday people, is…you just let my words bounce off your eardrums. You say, okay brain, don't worry about…turn the…you don’t have to turn the synapses off or whatever they’re called, the ganglias or whatever. You know, just turn it down. Let those words hit my eardrums that Scoots is saying and turn your interpretation and your understanding…bring it down to…whatever, put it on…we don’t necessarily have sleep mode, but passive mode.

 

‘Cause imagine if you told somebody, oh, I want to try to listen to you passively. They’d say, what? Especially if it was someone that you’re supposed to listen to. They’d say, what is…what do you mean, passive listening? So, this is a bit like that, but it sounds better. You say, well, it’s reflective listening. Oh, you’re gonna reflect back what I’m saying? Well, actually, literally I will be doing that, but I’m not exactly sure where the sound waves will go. I’ll be reflecting your sound waves or my eardrums…my whole body, actually, reflects sound waves. I learned this on YouTube or something. But so, yeah, I will be reflecting your sound waves. What was the question? Oh, I was supposed to…new listeners…so, kinda give it a few tries. Kinda see how it goes. But you don’t really need to listen to me.

 

Sometimes this podcast really throws people off when they’re expecting it to get somewhere or for things to start happening or for it to develop or go someplace. It will eventually barely go someplace, but we’re more like a floating leaf on a slow-moving stream than some sort of action…where you say, oh boy, wow, that’s some current really moving that leaf. I say, well, no…I don't know, the leaf’s going…is the leaf even…? So, kinda barely listen, and here’s the other paradoxical thing; I’m not really here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company. So, there is no pressure to fall asleep. I’m here to serve you in a strange way by just talking and keeping you company. You could fall asleep whenever you want. Ideally you don’t even notice. That’s the whole goal of the show.

 

I take your mind off of stuff; at some point you fall asleep. I’m walking at your side. We’re up on the clouds or whatever, and you say, uh-huh…you’re pretend…you’re reflectively listen…uh-huh, Scoots. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, yeah, uh-huh. Podcast puts me to sleep, uh-huh, uh-huh. Then you drift off. That’s the goal of the show. Now, here’s the other thing; if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here ‘til the end to keep you company. So, that’s the other side of it, is if you can’t sleep I’m here, 'cause some listeners just can’t sleep or you’re waking up or you need a break during the day. I’m here for you. The show is complete. It’s just the kind of complete that you don’t need to listen to, really, unless you need to or want to.

 

So, a podcast you don’t need to listen to, and it’s a podcast to put you to sleep that really more is here while you fall asleep. A sleep offering instead of a sleep solution, sometimes I say. So, that’s that. Oh, structurally this can also throw new people off, so I want to acknowledge it. The show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and in these episodes, trees and Multi-forms. Then we have business, and that’s how we keep the podcast coming to you twice a week. Then there’s an intro. Normally it’s the intro that throws people off. Sometimes people think that the business lasts the whole intro, but the business is just the portion at the beginning of the show. Then there’s an intro which is really long.

 

It’s about twelve to twenty minutes long and it’s me kinda keeping you company and just talking and introducing the podcast. About 2% of regular listeners skip the intro. Everyone else…when you become a regular…at first it’s to introduce you to the podcast and to kinda get an idea of what you’re in for, which is not much, a leaf floating on a barely-moving stream. But if you become a regular listener, what kinda happens is you say, oh, okay, this is how I like to consume Sleep With Me. Some examples of that are starting the podcast as you’re getting ready for bed, whether it’s brushing your teeth or changing your clothes or turning down your bed or doing some other bedtime activities that are chill like sitting or laying or knitting or hook…I’ve seen some people do something like knitting but it’s hooking.

 

Maybe you’re playing hooky and you say, well, I’m just gonna take the day off and take a nap. That’s awesome. Or maybe you’re doodling or…I don't know, whatever it is. Maybe you’re petting your animal and they’re drooling, 'cause I almost said drooling. Or some people are in bed and they start the podcast as they’re getting comfortable and getting settled. So, the whole idea of the intro is to ease you into bedtime with something that’s kinda familiar and comforting but also different every time, because my brain constantly adapts to sleep stuff and it says, okay, this is not…it might work for me once, but I guess my philosophy of Sleep With Me is that it’s different every time to get by those parts of you. I think the beginning of the show is a perfect example of that, but I’ll come back to that. So, that’s the intro.

 

So, it could throw people off. Then there’s business between the intro and the show. That’s just part of podcast structure. Then there…we’ll be talking about an episode of Doctor Who, Series…Season 3, Episode 2, Shakespeare Code, The Shakespeare Code. But it’ll be very…if you’ve seen the episode, you’ll say, wow, that was not much…that had Shakespeare and the Doctor and Martha in it. Other than that, I don't know how accurate it was. If you haven’t seen it, don't worry. It’ll be like a bedtime story, and actually, a really nice one. You got Martha, the Doctor, and Shakespeare in it. So you say, okay, I don't know who two of those three people are, but it sounds somewhat bedtime and story…I say, you got it. That’s what I’m here for. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end of the show.

 

So, that’s the structure of the show. The reason I make the show is twofold; one, you deserve a good night’s sleep. I want you to know that, and I’m here to try to provide that if I can, because you deserve it. Your world will be a better place, your life will be a little bit better, you’ll be rested, and our greater world will be a better place. So, you deserve a good night’s sleep. The other reason I make the show is because I’ve been there and I know how it feels, and if I can relieve that for any of you or reduce it, that’s my honor. So, those…so…oh, and then…yeah, and that kinda leads into…I have one of those brains that’s going a mile a minute, and it’s not always productive and it also needs a little bit…it’s constantly adapting. So, even tonight, it said, okay, well, I’m gonna start the podcast intro.

 

I started doing it and I got to this familiar part, and then I remembered someone wrote something on Reddit that was funny in a positive way, and people were kinda going back…like, oh, good thing…you know, I like it when Scoots says, press Play, don’t forget to turn out the lights. People were…and I was thinking about that in a positive way. Then my brain said, what about that other stuff you gotta finish getting done later? I said, oh yeah. It said, well, here’s what I think…this is…this was while I was talking. That was a part of the podcast that’s kinda rote memory anyway, but that doesn’t excuse it. It’s just important. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong; it just means I fell out of focus there.

 

Then it said…it was talking about this YouTube video I made to explain something about the Patreon feed to patrons, and it said, okay, this is what you gotta do to improve that. So, I knew…then I started thinking, okay, and then we’ll do this and we’ll do this. We gotta get it done. Then I realized it; I was spun out editing a YouTube video while I was trying to talk to you. That’s why I acknowledge and apologize, 'cause I said, wait a second, excuse me, to-do brain, I gotta get back to the listener who’s trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I’m in a calm spot like I am today, an embracing and accepting spot, and I can say, hey, I know you want to get that done and that’s a concern of ours for later. Let me focus on the moment right now and this person we’re trying to help fall asleep.

 

I respect that you want to get that done later, but I’m gonna return to this moment and I’m gonna let this person know what happened and just see how it goes. At night time, that does not…that conversation does not go that well. Also, there’s probably forty or fifty voices and some of them are from the far past and the far future or fictional futures and pasts, saying oh boy, wait ‘til this, you know. So, I know how it feels when you say, well, I just want to go to sleep here. Could you give me a break? The idea of the podcast is that’s a tool in that, to say, hey, let me take…just listen to me and I’ll kinda take up your brain space here.

 

But it has to be, in my opinion, a little bit different every time because there’s something about that…going through that…that I wasn’t in the moment and I knew what I was gonna say for the next forty-five seconds, that my other part of my brain said, let’s run with this. I got a memo for you to read. So, I don't know. The other thing is if you’re regular listeners, you hear it. This podcast is always incrementally evolving and I’m growing as a person. So, it really is an honor for me to make this show 'cause not only do I know how it feels…I don't know, and serving you in some small way gives me great meaning, but it also gives me a lot of growth opportunities that I might not necessarily have.

 

So, I don't know. I’m here to try to take your mind off of stuff. If you’re new, yeah, the show is very different, but give it a few tries. There’s nothing really to lose. It’s a free podcast, right? Just see how it goes. Maybe the podcast doesn’t work for you but you say, well, I did like the doodling. Then maybe you’ll try out another sleep podcast or something else. So, just see how it goes. I really do want to help. I really appreciate you coming by. I work hard. I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to bring you this podcast for free.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake; thoughts, so, things on your mind that you’re thinking about from the past, present, or future…usually for me it’s thinking about stuff in the future that is related to…that could happen in the future that’s because of the past that I need right now to…like, very little present except for presently you need to think about this stuff and really remember it in visceral detail.

 

So, thoughts, those are some thoughts that go through my mind, feelings, emotions could come up from those thoughts, they could just be there from the day or they could just be there. Emotions are another way to say it. Then physical sensations that could be keeping you up. It could be other stuff, too; changes, noises, work routine, life routine, maybe too much poutine. You say, oh boy, I had too much of that…is that how you say it, poutine? Suddenly I’m like, oh boy, did I say that incorrectly? I don't know, maybe that would probably help you fall…you say, that’s a comfort food, Scoots. I say, oh boy, it is, I think. But so, whatever’s keeping you awake…it could be any of those things, it could be something else. But what I’m here to do is create a safe place and take your mind off of that.

 

So, what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna smooth the safe place. I’m gonna pat the safe place. I’m gonna rub it down, all in enticing, inviting…you say, oh boy, that looks like Scoots is putting some work in there…create a real nice safe place. Then what I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’ll use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, oh, so creaky, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…so, I’ll go off topic, I’ll go on tangents, and then get distracted. Lots of filler words and stuff like that. So, let me see, if you’re new…’I’m here to keep you company while you drift off’ is the summary of, really, my job. Well, first…my first job, if you’re new, is to earn your trust or your mild…I’m gonna…I want to earn your trust in such a way that you forget I’m here.

 

Talk about trustworthy, but in a way…you say, well…almost like, well, yeah, I don't need to really think about you at all. How come there’s not more relationships like that? You say, tell me about…that would be…well, what are you looking for? Well, someone that forgets I’m around, most…except when I…of course there’s times I would like to be remembered. But when I say I’m your bore-friend or your bore-bae or your bore-cuz or your bore-sib or your bore-bestie, that’s really what I’m looking for in our relationship here. I say, well, just forget I’m there. Don’t even bother acknowledging me, and then I’ll be…that’ll make me very happy. That would be a passive-aggressive way.

 

Usually nanas say that; oh, just don’t pretend I’m here at all, except when I groan in displeasure at what you’re…that you’re not acknowledging me and all…oh, and don’t pay attention to the advice I give you. Oh no, no, no. That’s what the nana in my mind says pretty much twenty-four hours a day, but I’ve learned to prioritize other voices. ‘Cause she doesn’t really mean that, right? She says, oh no, don’t listen to what I said about you, about first grade, second grade, third…don’t…oh no, don’t think about what I’m talking to right in your ear. Just ignore me. But she really means pay full attention, because by going and saying hello to someone, it could unlock total consequence for the universe. Okay, but what was my point? Let’s see, if you’re new, don’t pay any attention to me. That’s the first thing about this podcast.

 

It’s a podcast you barely need to listen to. So, you can kinda let me be background noise. I say, I want to be your background noise. I don't want to be…I’m not looking for…to be the number-one person. You say, what are the podcasts you can’t forget about? Then you make a list and you say, oh, I forgot about Sleep With Me. I listened to that eight thousand hours last year. Totally forgot. That’s when I say, well, if you listened…if you forgot about me but you actually use the podcast, no problem. Now that you remembered, spread the word, but cool. So, it’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to, and that’s really the best way, if you’re new…it’s…I know there’s a temptation to pay attention or wait for the podcast…you say, when’s it getting started? I say, well, I’m here. I’m here keeping you company right now.

 

So, it’s a podcast that never really gets started and peters…once it gets going, it peters out right after that. Most of the time I’m chasing around Peter’s…I’m saying, does Peter have a cottontail? ‘Cause I’m trying to catch up with it. ‘Cause I saw…there goes…where goes Peter’s cottontail? Which way is the bunny trail? Because I don't know…I don't even know what to look for in a bunny trail. Also, are there that many bunnies around here that use the same…that no one else uses that trail, it’s just a bunny trail? Okay, so, don’t pay any attention, barely listen to me; that’s one thing. The other thing is there’s a lot of sleep podcasts now, but this is the one sleep podcast that’s not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company. That’s really my job.

 

I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, and ideally you drift off at your leisure. So, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, and then if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here either way. You say, well, I can’t sleep. I’m…say, no problem. I’ll be here for you tonight. I’ll be talking about stuff and distracted by Peter’s cottontail and my nana. Is there any sort of plant called the Peter’s Cottontail or…? They say, oh yeah, that coral structure’s known as the Peter’s Cottontail, or Peter’s Cottontail. There’s gotta be, right? I got Peter…you say, what is that…what was the…when they put out that new version of that game with the person with the red light nose, Operator…they said Operator 2.0. There was Peter’s Cottontail; they say, you gotta get that outta there with the tweezers.

 

Okay, so, I thought…oh, so don’t listen to me. I’m here to barely put you to sleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to be your bore-bud, and that’s why the shows are about an hour, to give you plenty of time to drift off. So, those are two things to know. The other things to know…oh, structure of the show; that’s another good thing for you to know, and it’s interesting 'cause this is Episode 900, I think. Probably it’s Episode 900. I’m not 100% sure about that. This structure of the show has developed over 900 episodes. Since 2013 it’s slowly evolved to this, very slowly, though if you’re new or you listen to old episodes, you say, well, for some people it feels the same; some people, it feels like a very big difference. But the show hopefully is always getting…it’s microscopically getting better.

 

You’d say, Scoots, is there something smaller than a microscopic improvement? I’d say, yeah, probably…an electron microscopically getting better. Okay, that fits more. Yes, our show is…we take the microscopic analogy down to the electron in the way I improve things. One day I’ll put together enough electrons that you’ll say, holy cow, you got yourself some sort of…I don't know. You might have enough to spin them around something. I say, don't worry, there’s infinite dark matter in there, maybe. Oh, so the structure of the show. It slowly developed but it definitely can throw people off. So, if you’re thrown off or you’re skeptical or you’re doubtful, totally normal reaction, because this podcast is so different and structurally it’s different.

 

The show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and even that slowly developed around the show, 'cause I want everybody to feel seen and welcome, so you know, okay, this is…this person’s trying to make a safe place. So, that’s one. Then there’s business. That’s the way…so you say, oh, it’s free, too. So, I don't have to pay for…it’s optional. You say, this podcast actually works for millions of people and it’s optional to pay for it, versus being behind a paywall or something, because of the sponsors. So, the sponsors are next. We do the business upfront. That’s a few minutes, then there’s about a twelve to twenty-minute section I call the intro, which we’re ten minutes into now.

 

So, it’s a little late to tell you that, but…where I explain the podcast is and it takes me a long time. It introduces you to the creaky, dulcet tones, the pointless meanders, the superfluous tangents, me. I come with a lot of stuff. I’m a bit different. So, you can kinda get a sense…you say, okay, this podcast is a bit different. Yeah, I don't know. What’s the opposite of an electron microscope? When you say ‘a bit different’, I think you’ve spent too much time on your electron microscopic improvements. Oh, but so, that’s the intro. The intro for the new listener is supposed to introduce you to it, but it also is like, this podcast doesn’t work for everybody but also it takes a while to get used to. So, out of all those regular listeners, most of them said hey, it took two or three tries for me to get used to the podcast. So, kinda see how it goes.

 

But then as you become a regular listener…like, 2% of regular listeners skip the intro. They start the show at twenty minutes and they just go from there. But 98%, 97% of the rest of the listeners, they use the intro in different ways. But it kinda serves the same purpose. It’s either part of their wind-down routine or their falling-asleep routine. So, some people start it before they get into bed, some people start it while they’re at work, while they need a break, some people start it in bed. But it eases you into bedtime, drifts you away from the day. So, that’s the idea of the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and the show. That’s just how podcasts are structured. So, that’s that.

 

Then tonight we’ll be doing a 900 look…we’ll just look at a type of episode we’ve done, Real Time Recipes, and we’ll just take a look back at those type of shows in a fun way. So, it’ll be real…a bedtime story based on…not a recap show but a look-back show. But really, you could sleep right through it. But if you don’t, if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here and it’ll be mildly interesting. Then the show closes with some thank-yous and goodnights, because those are the people that made it possible to be here, and I appreciate that. So, that’s the structure of the show. I think that’s it for new listeners. Yeah, like I said, I kinda grow on you. You know, I don't know if trees say this, but they say, well, that moss is pretty nice. That’s growing on me like moss. Took forever.

 

At first the other trees said, yo, what’s that green stuff growing on you? Did you step on a frog or something? I say, no, I’m a tree. I’ve been here eight hundred years. Oh. Well, you got some green fur growing on you. What, on the east side or the west side or the north side or the south side? I don't know; I’m a tree. Do I look like I have a compass? I mean, I know, but I’m being humorous. But yeah, I don't know what that…and you say, well, I can’t see it. What’s…is it on my rear? I can’t turn around. Also I’m a tree, so I don't really have ocular input devices or whatever those humans call those things. Or, birds have them, too. But then…I don't know if trees…time passes like for elves or something, but then you say, wow, this has a lot of good properties. One, I got a whole ‘nother biome going.

 

Gives me somebody to talk to, cooling, nice to touch, leprechauns go and take naps on it sometimes, which is interest…good to watch and listen to. Sprites do too, and some other forest friends, so that’s cool, and it gives me some…I don't know, it gives me some flair like from that movie. I say, wow, now I got moss. So, I don't know. So, that’s…I don't know how we got there with moss. I really have no idea where that came from. Oh, I’ll eventually…for most listeners, I grow on them…in their sense of taste. That’s a metaphor. But for some people, they just don’t like the podcast or me, and you don’t have to give it a second try, but I would say give it a few tries just to see if it helps, because I make the show…I made the show 900 episodes, so that’s probably somewhere…maybe 18,000 to 20,000 hours I’ve worked just on the production side of the show.

 

I’m just guessing. But that’s probably around at least 18,000 hours. I put that effort in because I care, because I’ve been there. I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, all those things. So, that’s one reason, and the other reason is you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve some rest whether it’s this podcast or something else; fans, another sleep podcast, meditation. Whatever it is, you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place of respite, and the world needs that. We need you rested so that you can flourish and live your life more fully, and it just will be better for everybody if you got a little more space to be you. So, that’s why I make the show. So, I really hope it can help you, but it doesn’t work for everybody.

 

So, give it a few tries. I really appreciate you checking this show out. Then to everyone that’s been here, whether you started the show in 2013, ‘14, ‘15, ‘16, ‘17, ‘18, ‘19, or ‘20, or you’re listening in 2021 or 2022, what up? I hope it’s sweet out there. You know, thank you so much. I’m so happy I get to help you, and thank you for helping me. I’ve grown and changed as a person a lot. I’ve slowly…again, whatever’s less than an electron microscope…improved who I am, because the example you as listeners set for me with your kindness and support. This really does feel like one of those rare two-way streets, I guess like the tree and the moss. You could be the tree; I’ll be the moss, or you could be the moss; I could be the tree. Wherever…I guess if I was a tree, then my nana would live up there. She’d be some sort of bird or something, or a squirrel. So, I’m glad you’re here. Again, I appreciate your time. I work very hard. I yearn and I strive 'cause I want to put you to sleep, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do that for you twice a week.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)