1200 – Time Travel for Ten

Retrospective

 

Barbie Movie

https://time.com/6294121/barbie-movie-popularity-impact/

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/unveiling-unprecedented-impact-2023-barbie-movie-lessons-sev-marcel

https://www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/barbie-was-a-marketing-masterpiece-heres-why/456339

 

Longest Running Podcasts / Most Podcast Episodes / Podcasts Now

https://rephonic.com/blog/early-podcasts

https://www.vulture.com/article/best-podcasts-of-2023.html

https://lifehacker.com/12-long-running-podcasts-worth-bingeing-immediately-1849614978/slides/14

 

Letter to Younger Self

https://betterhumans.pub/how-to-write-a-letter-to-your-younger-self-and-why-you-should-6e4becc6b499

https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/how-to-write-a-letter-to-yourself/

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/collections/letter-to-my-younger-self

 

Post-War Suburb Proliferation

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/09/the-post-war-american-home/407227/

https://www.archdaily.com/969231/the-evolution-of-the-house-plan-in-the-united-states-post-war-era

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-postwar-housing-boom-wasnt-all-sunshine-and-roses

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I wish I had a riddle that made some sense

One time Goofy signed my brother’s autograph book as “Gofy”

 

Deep Dark Night United

Thank you to all the people who listen and support

 

PLUGS

WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strike Support; The Midnight Mission; Orlando Park Stop; Patreon; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline 

 

SPONSORS

HelloFresh; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Progressive

 

INTRO

The change on the clocks

What were we thinking?

If I could go back in time, I’d tell them not to change the clocks!

Even when Koa is here, it can hurt to feel lonely

We’re not alone

It might be my job to foster this space

Has anything been over fostered and nurtured?

Maybe Ray…

I’ll always refer to 80’s movie characters that are no longer relevant

I’ve got to come up with a new archetypal time traveler

And nice lotion tissues for crying Doc Brown

Our First Piece of Brand Synergy

TJ’s, hey! Put some brazil nut butter in your tissues

I’m your Borebie

I could’ve been in Barbie pretty easily … just rambling in the background

I guess a retrospective is time travel in its own way

 

STORY

This might be more of a daytime listen

It’s a coincidence that it’s 1200 episodes and 10 years

This might be a more personal episode

3 different ways to look back

WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strike is still going

Looking at some episode titles

What if I did some “Scooter’s version” stuff

I’d like to do Scooter’s version of Episode 1

A database of words

I’ve used a word randomizer in the past for inspiration

This podcast exists on the back of listeners

Thanks again to Cornelia

And shoutout to people who spread the word and haven’t reached out to me

I started in 2013

I’m a very different person from 10 years ago

Started with a kid who couldn’t sleep at night and was lonely

Going back in time with myself from 10 years ago back to my childhood

Did you ever think you’d move back into this childhood home?

I do have some magic from Morpheus

I have some sand to make sure people won’t wake up

Entering through the side door

Is this cement or concrete?

I used to be able to get behind the heaters to think and hide

It’s Septober here

You’ve been going through a tough time, huh?

I know you made a recording (I’ve been too scared to listen back to it)

And you also recorded some audio about where you were at generally

Those feelings don’t ever totally leave us

I wish I had a Guru-Like Thing to say

You’re about to start changing, I promise

You found one thing that really helped to quickly take away the fear

And that’s its own thing now

I promise it’s going to be okay

You don’t have to get unstuck alone

Making Podcasts? It’s Sticky

Now we love the bedtime routine

You’ll be one of the most barely entertaining people in the world

Proudly Barely Entertaining

It’s not some magical change

It’s not flashy, but we’re okay

Who do you think the kid will think is younger? Jkjk

Not every creative thing works out

Some people will strongly dislike you, and that will be confusing

It’s not your fault, but you’ll still feel the sting

Remember, young me watches GI Joe even though he can’t stand GI Joe

We enter the room to talk to our young self

It’s me and me and you

Things are gonna be okay

It’s worth it to try

It’s liquid metal running through your body

There’s no easy fix for this

That must be really hard to not get a night’s sleep

The idea of “Fair” will change over time

Sometimes I still get caught up in the idea of fairness

You’re not the only one feeling this way right now

We don’t how beings on other planets sleep

All the cartoon and movies you watch will come in handy

And the feelings you feel right now will also come in handy

The power of Dr. Demento

We’ll even make an episode about you getting a perm

The Power of This Perm

You know how you make pretend radio shows on your tape recorder?

That will continue

I’ll tell you some more stories

2 best friends that try to get out of purgatory

A story about Cinderella’s stepmother, Agatha, who becomes a pit of lentils

A team of superheroes

A lot of individual stories

A story in space with a Freestyle Soda Machine

Oh boy, I’m gonna blow your mind with the freestyle soda machine

I recently did a purple, orange and green soda mix – it was delicious

And people will listen to these stories and they’ll be able to relate

Other people also play Chop Chop Timber!

You have cool friends and a cool life right now

It’s complicated to explain how free content works in the future

Like people who buy cereal for the prize

And you (two) are the prize

Together Alone

Thank you for listening

 

PATREON THANKS

Jimmy, Kimberly, Rocket, Emma, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Mary Jo, Bilbo, Seth, Willem, Patricia, Julie, Joan, Juliet, Laura, Colette, Katie, Ossie, Barbara, Annie, Laura, Brian, Ashley, Holly, 49, Derrick, Mary, Blathe, Osee

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1,200

Title: Time Travel for Ten

Deep Dark Night United: Thank you to all the people who listen and support

Plugs: WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strike Support; The Midnight Mission; Orlando Park Stop; Patreon; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline 

Sponsors: HelloFresh; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Progressive

Patreon Thanks: Jimmy, Kimberly, Rocket, Emma, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Mary Jo, Bilbo, Seth, Willem, Patricia, Julie, Joan, Juliet, Laura, Colette, Katie, Ossie, Barbara, Annie, Laura, Brian, Ashley, Holly, 49, Derrick, Mary, Blathe, Osee

Notable Language:

• Shebang
• Delicately
• Idealized Cuteness
• Archetypal Time Traveler
• Ewan & I
• Underutilized Room
• Septober
• Guru-Like Thing (GLT)
• Barely Entertainers
• Oshkosh B’Gosh
• Perm-iverse
• Together Alone

 

Notable Culture:

• Sleep With Me

• • Goofy
  • Doo Wop Music

• Back to the Future III

• • Christopher Lloyd
  • Trader Joe’s

• Barbie

• • WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strike

• Gloomhaven

• • Taylor Swift
  • Ewan McGregor
  • Morpheus

• Thunder Down Under

• • Oshkosh B’Gosh

• GI Joe

• Dr. Demento
• Burger King
• Steven Spielberg
• Chop Chop Timber

 

Notable Talking Points:

• The change on the clocks
• What were we thinking?
• If I could go back in time, I’d tell them not to change the clocks!
• Even when Koa is here, it can hurt to feel lonely
• We’re not alone
• It might be my job to foster this space
• Has anything been over fostered and nurtured?
• Maybe Ray…
• I’ll always refer to 80’s movie characters that are no longer relevant
• I’ve got to come up with a new archetypal time traveler
• And nice lotion tissues for crying Doc Brown
• Our First Piece of Brand Synergy
• TJ’s, hey! Put some brazil nut butter in your tissues
• I’m your Borebie
• I could’ve been in Barbie pretty easily … just rambling in the background
• I guess a retrospective is time travel in its own way
• This might be more of a daytime listen
• It’s a coincidence that it’s 1200 episodes and 10 years
• This might be a more personal episode
• 3 different ways to look back
• WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strike is still going
• Looking at some episode titles
• What if I did some “Scooter’s version” stuff
• I’d like to do Scooter’s version of Episode 1
• A database of words
• I’ve used a word randomizer in the past for inspiration
• This podcast exists on the back of listeners
• Thanks again to Cornelia
• And shoutout to people who spread the word and haven’t reached out to me
• I started in 2013
• I’m a very different person from 10 years ago
• Started with a kid who couldn’t sleep at night and was lonely
• Going back in time with myself from 10 years ago back to my childhood
• Did you ever think you’d move back into this childhood home?
• I do have some magic from Morpheus
• I have some sand to make sure people won’t wake up
• Entering through the side door
• Is this cement or concrete?
• I used to be able to get behind the heaters to think and hide
• It’s Septober here
• You’ve been going through a tough time, huh?
• I know you made a recording (I’ve been too scared to listen back to it)
• And you also recorded some audio about where you were at generally
• Those feelings don’t ever totally leave us
• I wish I had a Guru-Like Thing to say
• You’re about to start changing, I promise
• You found one thing that really helped to quickly take away the fear
• And that’s its own thing now
• I promise it’s going to be okay
• You don’t have to get unstuck alone
• Making Podcasts? It’s Sticky
• Now we love the bedtime routine
• You’ll be one of the most barely entertaining people in the world
• Proudly Barely Entertaining
• It’s not some magical change
• It’s not flashy, but we’re okay
• Who do you think the kid will think is younger? Jkjk
• Not every creative thing works out
• Some people will strongly dislike you, and that will be confusing
• It’s not your fault, but you’ll still feel the sting
• Remember, young me watches GI Joe even though he can’t stand GI Joe
• We enter the room to talk to our young self
• It’s me and me and you
• Things are gonna be okay
• It’s worth it to try
• It’s liquid metal running through your body
• There’s no easy fix for this
• That must be really hard to not get a night’s sleep
• The idea of “Fair” will change over time
• Sometimes I still get caught up in the idea of fairness
• You’re not the only one feeling this way right now
• We don’t how beings on other planets sleep
• All the cartoon and movies you watch will come in handy
• And the feelings you feel right now will also come in handy
• The power of Dr. Demento
• We’ll even make an episode about you getting a perm
• The Power of This Perm
• You know how you make pretend radio shows on your tape recorder?
• That will continue
• I’ll tell you some more stories
• 2 best friends that try to get out of purgatory
• A story about Cinderella’s stepmother, Agatha, who becomes a pit of lentils
• A team of superheroes
• A lot of individual stories
• A story in space with a Freestyle Soda Machine
• Oh boy, I’m gonna blow your mind with the freestyle soda machine
• I recently did a purple, orange and green soda mix – it was delicious
• And people will listen to these stories and they’ll be able to relate
• Other people also play Chop Chop Timber!
• You have cool friends and a cool life right now
• It’s complicated to explain how free content works in the future
• Like people who buy cereal for the prize
• And you (two) are the prize
• Together Alone
• Thank you for listening

Episode 1200 – Time Travel for Ten

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, what could I say? I wish I had a riddle that made some sense. I’m already off. I was gonna…so, what could be said a hundred times…? 1,200 times and I would never say it enough. It’s really that I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to Sleep With Me. When I say welcome, when I say friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, wherever you are, whomever you are, I’m so glad you’re here. This is Episode 1200. I’ve been making this show about ten years. So, this episode will be a little bit different. It’ll still be lulling and sleepy, maybe be a little bit personal. This intro may be a little bit different. I don't know. I’m in the middle of recording it. I guess I’m pretty happy. Can’t believe it. I’m happy because that’s what I get to do, ideally.

 

If this show works for you, if you stick around…is, ideally, you feel seen, you feel welcomed in. You say, wow, I could listen to this podcast, I could check it out, and then ideally as you listen, I keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. That’s really the whole…I don't know what the word ‘shebang’ means, or ‘shaboom’. That makes me want to sing a do-wop song. I just literally was at…not a theme park; whatever the other…amusement park with my daughter and we danced the Twist with some characters or singers. Singer/dance…a singing and dancing show right here locally. So, that’s why shaboom…holy cow, I thought I was celebrating…I thought I was gonna look…I thought I was gonna do some serious navel-gazing and now I’m like…the last thing I’m gazing at is my navel.

 

But I’m so glad you’re here. If you’re new, this show is very different. That’s the whole…that’s also the whole…where the podcast came out of. It was a different idea. How come there’s no weird podcasts to listen to to keep me company while I fall asleep like a friend? There was Sleep Audio back, whatever, ten years ago, but that was a little bit more straightforward, meditative, or it just wasn’t goofy. I don't mean the character Goofy. Did I ever tell you…talk about tangents…one time Goofy signed my brother’s autograph book ‘Gofy’. He was one O short of being Goofy. I said, that’s very in-character. Okay, so…but that’s what I was looking for.

 

I said, how come there’s nothing like a friend to just make…kids get bedtime stories and occasionally in our personal relationships we get to do a bedtime story for somebody, but we can’t do it all the time. Then I said I should make that show, and then not…this isn’t…I said, that’s a terrible idea. That was five years before I made the podcast. So, that’s what this show does, because you deserve a good night’s sleep and you deserve something to keep you company, cut through that loneliness, make…create a safe place, a place that kind of is relatively safe. You say, okay, I could kinda listen to this, kinda barely listen to it. So, again, can’t say it enough; I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep.

 

What we got coming up is sponsor support — that’s really how we get the show out to as many people as possible twice a week — then there will be a long, meandering intro that is a show within a show meant to ease you into bedtime that’s about fifteen to twenty minutes long, and then there will be a bedtime story, me talking about Episode 1200. I honestly can’t even remember what it’s about even though I recorded it a couple days ago, and it’s the ten-year, 1,200th episode. It’s something to do with…something celebratory. I honestly have no idea. That’s 'cause I’m already…whatever. Not import…you’ll know. You’ll know probably the same time I will. I can’t remember. I mean, I just…here’s my…the reason, though; I literally just listened to a episode twice today that’s gonna come out 'cause I record stuff ahead of time, so, I don't know. My brain is filled with more recent episodes. So, I’m so glad you’re here, and thank you so much for supporting the show, my patron peeps. Wouldn’t be here without you.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, so anything emotionally coming up for you, physically, anything on your mind. It could be changes in time, temperature, routine, schedule, work schedule, you could be going somewhere, you could have someone visiting, maybe school is starting…I think right around now is gonna be the change on the clocks.

 

That’s always…I mean, that is; it’s just like…what were we thinking? Talk about getting time travelers…can you just go back to whenever they thought up that idea and say, I’m from the future; you’ll regret this decision but for some convoluted, bureaucratic reason, you’ll stick…despite many votes and opinions, you’ll stick with it for some reason. It’s symbolic but it’s also true. They’ll say, please escort him out. Please escort Dr. Brown out and whoever that young person is with him dressed as a cowboy. Send them back to the future, because we don’t need them here. We’re change…this is a brilliant new idea we have. We can change time. Technically, aren’t you just changing the…? Yeah, we are, but did you know that this is a tangent in the middle of a sleep podcast? Oh, great.

 

So, okay…so, whatever it is…the reason I run through all that stuff and point it out in some way is to let you know you’re not alone. I don't know about you, but in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, it’s lonely. Even when I’m in the room with somebody else or in a place with somebody else, even when I got my loyal, lovely dog Koa snoring away, it hurts. This is Episode 1200, so I’ll just put it straight out, right? It hurts to feel that lonely sometimes. Not all the time. So, I go through all that stuff 'cause what I’ve learned in ten years of making this show is that we’re not alone, and it feel…it doesn’t…it does change. It might not change instantly, but it has changed my relationship with the deep, dark night knowing there’s other people out there, that you’re out there, and you’re nodding your head 'cause you know how it feels.

 

You’ve been there. Now, maybe you’re going through something different than what keeps me up at night. Maybe you and I, we don’t have…maybe I can’t relate to how you feel, but the brilliant thing is there’s somebody else listening right now that can relate to how I feel and somebody else that’s listening that can relate to how you feel and maybe that’s been through the same thing or something very similar. That’s one of the upsides of this, whatever, digital, pseudo stuff, is that, yeah, it’s true; there’s somebody out there that’s nodding right now, that’s listening at this moment, that’s saying, yeah, I know how that feels. Oh boy, do I.

 

So, you’re not alone, and it’s just important to know that and say, wow, there’s somebody else out there that’s feeling this way, too. There’s also another side of that which is something we all share, and maybe it’s something that I…this is where it’s my job to foster it and to hold it delicately if…I can’t even pronounce…but I could still hold it delicately even though I can’t pronounce it…and to really nurture it by telling you is that you deserve a good night’s sleep, and we share that, too. The more we could foster one another and just pass the energy along and say, you know what? You deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you could get some rest, the rest you need so your life is more manageable.

 

That is important, and it’s important to me and it’s important to all the other people listening 'cause they’ve been in that same boat, too, and they…the people that listen to the show on a regular basis that get a decent night’s sleep the majority of the time they listen to this show…or it makes the deep, dark night less painful, they know because they say, wow, when you’re getting a little bit better rest, when you don’t have to dread bedtime 'cause you got a silly little sleep podcast to listen to and keep you company, your life’s a little bit better. Your life’s a little bit more manageable, and that means when you go out there in the world, you get to live your life a little bit more.

 

That’s really important. It’s important to me and it’s important to the other people that support the show, but a lot of us have this internal critic or some other internal stuff or external stuff that tells us that’s not the case. Cynics and critics, internal nanas…so, that’s what I’m here to hold delicately and foster and nurture. You say, well, you…some part of my brain just said, you only need to do one…you really need to foster and nurture it. That’s overdoing it. I’d say, really? Could you…has anything over…been over-fostered and nurtured? I think Ray, my neighbor Ray. You know, cute things that…idealized cuteness has been over-fostered and over-nurtured. Without that, we wouldn’t have idealized cuteness. So, I guess…I don't know if there is a down…at this point there’s not a downside to it, especially in a sleep podcast.

 

Now, here’s another thing; if you’re listening and you listen 'cause you have a strong opinion about the show or you’re new and you’re already like, I just don’t like you, man, that’s okay, too. It doesn’t change the fact that the deep, dark night doesn’t need to be painful for you or lonely, if it is. Again, not everybody that listens to this show feels that way, like, either dislikes the show or feels lonely and in pain. Some people listen for different reasons. But if you’re never gonna listen to the show again, don't worry, we got a website for you; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It’s got a list of other sleep podcasts and sleepy audio on there so you could find something.

 

So, that’s…I talk about this every intro because it’s important, but I just wanted to stress it with extra importance tonight because you’re important and your sleep is important. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. We’ve already been on a couple of those where I get mixed up, I go off topic, and I forget what I was talking about, and refer to eighties’ movies characters that are no longer relevant. I just heard Doc Brown crying in the other room. Christopher Lloyd’s still relevant, but I think that’s…character’s still somewhat relevant, but not as relevant as my mind makes it, but…anyway, yeah, I come up with…I gotta come up with a new archetypal time-traveler. So, yeah, we gotta…I’ll put it on my to-do list.

 

Oh, also, tissues for Doc Brown’s room, come up with…whisper when I say ‘come up with a new archetypal time-traveler’, more tissues for Doc Brown’s room, find Doc Brown a new…ideally another glorified archetypal position. Double-underline, in case he’s listening in. Oh, also, PS, I actually follow through on that because he’s listening in and…oh, double…PSS; yes, we’ll…don't worry, we’ll get you Puff…the fancy tissues with the aloe that we like if you’re gonna…so, there’s our first piece of brand synergy. The Sleep With Me 2024 edition, the podcast that makes Doc Brown cry. When Doc Brown cries, when Sleep With Me goes off…talks about irrelevance, Doc Brown cries in blankety-blank tissues, now with a soothing blend of aloe and lanolin and Brazilian…that Brazil nut butter, you know.

 

Here’s a free idea, Trader Joe’s; put some Brazil nut butter in some tissues. I bet you you’ll…I mean, that’s such common sense, you’re probably already doing it. Congratulations. Brazil nut…when Doc Brown blows his nose, he uses Brazil…'cause that’s too many B’s for me to pronounce. Okay, so, if you’re new, though, what do I need to know about the show? One, most people don’t like the show at first. The majority of listeners, it took two or three tries for them to get used to the show because it is so different. It’s a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just kinda barely listen like it’s playing like a TV in the other room or background noise you could listen to. The podcast does not put you to sleep.

 

There’s no pressure to fall asleep on this show because I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep. There’s people who are listening who won't fall asleep and I’m here to keep them company to the very end, one of the very important things I learned early on making this podcast. There’s also people that listen and they need a break during the day. So, I’m here whether you’re awake or asleep so you don’t have to listen to me, but you don’t have to fall asleep, either. The shows are over an hour. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your Borbie, your bores, your bore-bud, your bore-bruh, your bore-friend. Your Borebie? Oh yeah, I guess maybe I already went and thought, well, how come…what’s up?

 

How come I wasn’t in the movie? I could have been…hey, Borebie. Then it could have just been…it didn’t even have to actually be me; it could have just been me rambling in another room. I know it wouldn’t make any sense. It just popped in my head. But that’s another greeting. If there’s ever a Sleep With Me convention with a lot of people at it…very unlikely, but you could say, hey, Borebie. Then you’d say…that would…this would be in like, 2046. You’d say, another…that’s…it’s lost its relevance, Scoots. That’s why I chose it. It’s already been chosen. Okay, so, I’m so glad you’re here. Oh, what else do you need to know? Structure of the show. Show has a very specific structure so it can benefit the most people possible, and it’s somewhat flexible depending on how you want to listen.

 

But if you’re new, the way that most people listen and it works for the most people is they listen linearly. Maybe some people listen over multiple nights. But the show starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in, then there’s support so the show could be free, paying for it is optional, then there’s a long, meandering intro, which we’re already most of the way through. The intro is here to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep. You could fall asleep during the intro, but for most stuff that I’ve learned around sleep over the past ten years and most feedback I’ve gotten and what’s worked for me personally is that the intro is more of a buffer between being awake and asleep that’s meant to kinda slowly lower the dial on the day and ease you into bedtime.

 

Some people listen while they’re in bed getting comfortable, some people are falling asleep. 2% of people skip the intro. But for most people, they’re doing some sort of chill activity or they’re getting ready for bed or they’re getting comfortable, because that’s just…we just need some time to wind down. So, that’s what the intro does. Then there’s, again, support, then there will be a bedtime story, which somehow I…I guess I probably forgot about it on purpose. I don't think I talked about the history of the show. Oh, you know what I did? Okay, now I remember. It was because it was concept…it’s cool. Just trust me. It actually is time travel, so I guess that’s probably why I had Doc Brown on the brain. So, yeah, we’ll go back…we’ll…it’ll be interesting. We’ll talk to a couple different versions of me.

 

So, yeah, and there will be some nurturing in there, I hope. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I think…I don't know, I think there was something else people don’t usually…no; structure of the show, people don’t like the show, so you could always check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou or just give the show a few tries, 'cause if you’re new, especially on this anniversary episode…this is a pretty good one to start 'cause you’ll know…normally…I don't take the anniversaries seriously anyway, but normally the show’s even more goofy. So, this one is a little bit personal, but yeah, it’s meant to be your friend in the deep, dark night. Just see how it goes. Yeah, 'cause if you’re like me, you’ve been trying a bunch of stuff to fall asleep, you’ve tried different things.

 

They don’t…nothing worked. That’s why I made the podcast to begin with. Like I said earlier, I said, how come there’s not…everything’s so serious or clinical. I just want a friend, and I want a friend to let me know, hey, it’s gonna be okay. I can’t make it okay. Alls I can do is be here for you and keep you company, and that’s really what this episode’s about, too, is like, in the end, all I wanted was someone to see that I was hurting, to see that I was lonely, and to say, hey, I know it doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be okay. I know I can’t make it feel okay, but I could be here with you. I can keep you company. I can bring a little bit of levity and silliness and just keep you company, to be your friend, to be a friendly presence and to take your mind off of all the thinking or the feeling or the other experiencing you’re doing.

 

Just take your mind over here, and I’ll be here for you. That’s really the most important stuff about the show. The reality is it does kinda have to be some sort of strange digital service, because there’s really no one out there that’s available in that way, eight hours a night. So, that’s what’s nice. I get to do this idealized thing for the people it works for. Again, the cool thing about the internet is it doesn’t have…if it doesn’t work for you, it’s not your style, there’s other stuff out there now that you could try out. But if it does, you say, oh, this is what I was looking for. This is how I experience the night, too, this deep, dark night.

 

It does hurt a little bit and I do want someone to say, hey, I’m gonna be here. I’m not perfect. I may not be on time. I may not put my words together coherently, but I’m here for you. I’m here to try to be here for you. Yeah, and I’m glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thank you once again for coming by, or thanks for coming by for your first time. I really work hard on this show. So do a bunch of other people, because we yearn and strive to help you fall asleep, and these sponsors are a couple of ways how we’re able to do this on a regular basis over the past ten years, twice a week. Thank you.

 

Hey everybody, this is Scoots, and this should be Episode 1200. I don't know; I’m sitting down. I don't have any notes in front of me 'cause I…I don't know, I’ve thought about this episode and I’m never great with these milestone episodes. But it’s just weird that it’s Episode 1200 and right at ten years of making the podcast. So, I wanted to kinda do something that would be fun for listeners. Just a heads-up; this will probably be a little more personal and intense, maybe. I don't know. I don't know exactly what I’m gonna talk about, but I have an idea about it. So, we’ll see how it goes. So, it’ll be personal. It might not be for everybody. Maybe you want to listen during the day. I do want to say thank you, but…and also…so, how do you celebrate making 1,200 episodes over ten years? Not just with one episode.

 

Is it really a big deal or is making 1,201 episodes a big deal, you know? But I do want to tease…instead of just celebrating in one episode, I think I have a couple ideas. Well, there’s gonna be three different ways we’re gonna look back or have fun. So, one will be that…'cause while I’m recording this, the actors’ and writers’ strike is still going on. I realize we haven’t done any look-back episodes since that 700…I don't know if we have. I gotta double-check. So, I’ll probably do a couple episodes where I’m looking at a chunk of a hundred episode titles and just running through it and wondering. It’ll be pretty funny 'cause I say, I don't even remember that, or I do remember that. I don't know if…maybe that I’ll take out…or maybe it’ll just be the titles, 'cause there was something we did for subscribers this summer called Gloomhaven Sticker Unboxing.

 

It’s probably one of my favorite things I’ve recorded in a long time just 'cause it was so random. So, we’ll see what happens with that. Then I got an idea from our friend Taylor Swift, and I said, hey, why don’t we do some episodes with Scooter’s version where…which is strange thinking of Taylor Swift, but it’s…I think it’s really cool how Taylor does Taylor’s version. We’re Swifties around here, so…I don't know. I think I’ll try to do maybe a couple episodes. I don't have that in production yet, but I would like to do Episode 1, at least, Scooter’s version or Drew’s version. I don't know. So, there’s that, and then I’m also designing this database of words that you’ll be able to participate in, and subscribers have already had their chances, and listeners will, too. What I’ll do is I’ll put it up on our sponsor page.

 

So, just go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/sponsors and you’ll see a survey. If you take that survey, you can link and add words to a new randomizer, 'cause that’s always been one of the keys to Sleep With Me. A lot of the stuff was randomizing. Now, what I found…originally I was gonna use the randomizer for this episode, but I was like, oh, there’s no way to…there’s not gonna be a way to use the randomizer and give credit to people because it’s gonna be a randomizer, and it’s just gonna give me random words and they’re gonna be mixed in. But hopefully I’ll be able to figure out a way to make that and then use it as part of the flow of the show. But that’ll be another way to participate, and maybe you hear your word and then you get a kick out of it. Is that the three ways? Did I say three?

 

So, those are how we’re really gonna celebrate 1,200 episodes. I do want to say thank you, and I don't know, I do try to say thank-you as much as I can to people, but literally, this podcast exists on the back of listeners. There really wouldn’t be a Sleep With Me without people…without the people…the active listeners and the passive listeners. If there wasn’t people listening to it…I mean, maybe there’d be some other tiny version of Sleep With Me that comes out once a month or something. But Sleep With Me as it exists now is the result of the people who have listened to the show and been there, whose presence I can feel, and then the people who have actively done things to support the podcast. Sleep With Me really is a listener-supported show.

 

Either through the sponsors or the thing, I wouldn’t…everybody that works on the show…I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the podcast. So, it wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be at ten years or 1,200 years without any of you that sent me one e-mail or people that supported the show at a significant level from the start of the show, those people that’ll be in this new thing called The Dream Door Society, or people that have gone to hang out with…in other existences. Cornelia recommended the show to so many people, and there’s a lot of other people and probably people who have never reached out to me…every once in a while I find out about somebody that’s spreading the word about the podcast who I’ve never heard from directly. Right now in this moment, it’s Kitty Flanagan. I say, what the heck?

 

That’s so cool, and I never even heard from them, never even heard from Kitty. So, I don't know, thank you to everybody, and maybe those…Kitty or Cornelia or the noderators on the listener-run Facebook group or the team of people that work on the show, including Posty that’s worked on the show for so long…I don't know, there wouldn’t be a Sleep With Me without you. So, thank you. If this is your first time listening, thank you for checking the show out. One thing that’s interesting is Sleep With Me works for the people it works for. So, I’m glad you’re here, and hopefully stick around…it works for you, and some people, it doesn’t…it only works for them for a short period of time, and…while you go through something or while…then you find another great sleep podcast or sleepy thing to use that helps you.

 

Okay, so, what are we gonna do here for 1,200? Here’s the thing; so, I’ve made this show since 2013, and I had the idea since before that. I thought what I would do is in 20…when I first came up with the idea for the podcast, I was in a much, much different place. Even when I started making the show…the person…the show has changed over ten years and I’m a much different person from who I was ten years ago. Then the show really springs out of this kid who couldn’t sleep at night, who was so alone and so lonely, and that’s really what the show’s about, is that loneliness, that fear, and…I guess I can say it 'cause I put a warning. Like, that hopelessness in the deep, dark night. I don't know, I shared a room with my brother, but he was asleep. Or, there was times he couldn’t sleep, either.

 

So, I thought we’d do…is just maybe I can go back in time and…with myself from ten years ago and myself now and go into that room and see what…maybe have a little conversation? I don't know. The first question is how do we get into my childhood home without…? We got there. Doc Brown, he said, rolls? Where we’re going, we don’t need rolls, because it won't be dinner time. Then he said, robes? Where we’re going, we won’t…well, that was when we were in the back, me and ten-years-ago me, and him and Ewan McGregor were in the front, not wearing robes 'cause they were going to some sort of hot spring, and that’s what Doc Brown said there; robes? Where we’re going, we don’t need any robes. But that was when they pulled away and left me and myself at the childhood home.

 

We haven’t really talked, you and I, me and you, you and I, because…I don't know. But we’re side-by-side. Oh, thanks. I do…I feel good. Thank you. You look…yeah, and it’ll get better, trust me, but we gotta get…we gotta be quiet here. Before we go in, I just want to lay something on you. Would you ever be…would you ever think you would ever maybe move back into this childhood home? You’re doubtful, right? Well, this…I don't know. I don’t live there now, but who knows, right? Okay, I think our best bet is…oof, how do we get in here without waking anybody up? I do have some magic, not from a sleep podcast but from Morpheus, 'cause Morpheus reached out. Yeah, Morpheus, one of the higher powers of sleep. So, I do have this dust and I just…I don't know if it’s…it’s not sand, though.

 

It just blew on us, but I think it’ll work to make sure everybody’s in a deep sleep in this house. But that doesn’t change the fact that…so, this side door that goes to this room that’s not a basement but that’s connected to the…it’s in-between the laundry room with the heater and the water heater and the garage, a room that…I don't know, it’s been…it was used sometimes, but under-used, a under-utilized room. I’m gonna open that door and we’re gonna go in here, and then we’re gonna go in…so, now we’re in. We’ll lock that door behind us, yeah. Then we’ll go into this room. Concrete…what is this, cement or concrete? Cement? Okay, thanks. Cement floor, we got the heaters; one heater for upstairs, one for downstairs, and the water heater’s there, the washer and the dryer, and what is that?

 

Cement…what are those, mason cement wall…cement block wall? Yeah, that’s…yeah, I like this room especially with these heaters that were the heaters there when I was a kid. I could get behind the heaters. Not figure…I mean, I actually would go behind the heaters. It was a good place for thinking, hiding, hide-and-seek hiding, but once somebody knew you were hiding there, it wasn’t good. But just when I needed a little time or I wanted to vanish. Yeah, now…so, what do you think our strategy should be? Because…so, I wanted to talk to the two of you because we’ve been make…so, right when you’re…I know you…what do I call it? You; I guess I call you you, right? ‘Cause you’re me. Let’s sit down in the laundry room, 'cause we got…the heaters are going, anyway. It’s October here or it’s on the cusp of…it’s Septober.

 

I know you’ve been thinking about this idea for a sleep…I know you’ve had a tough time, huh? Yeah, it’s been hard and you’re a bit lost, huh? I know, I know. Could you trust me if I tell you you’ll still be lost but in a way where at least you’re trying to find your way and you’re comfortable with that, verse…that’s where I’m at now, and it’s pretty nice. Not always…I can’t promise you…I mean, I’ll tell you some cool stuff once we get to this kid, but I just want to tell you before we get into the kid, because the kid might not be ready for all this stuff; where you’re at is not an easy place, and it’s…I just want…can I just give you a hug? Yeah. Remember when we…? Let’s just…is that too…you’re not comfortable with that. Okay, I can…'cause I’m like, remember when we pressed our faces against a mirror and how that felt?

 

But I did want to tell you that this idea for a sleep podcast that you’ve had for years and years and years…I’ll be honest; I know you made a recording, and I haven’t had a chance to listen to it because I’ve been afraid, because I know how you feel and how you’ve felt over the past couple years and where things have gone and choices you made, and maybe the choices…maybe a lot of this has been out of your control 'cause you’re kind of…you’re in the throes of something that you can’t control, right? I haven’t been…maybe after this I’ll listen to it, but I haven’t had the place where I could listen to…I know you recorded a bunch of audio recordings and one of them was the idea for this podcast, but I know a lot of the other stuff was where you’re at and how hard it’s been and how it feels, really.

 

Really how it feels and what it feels like. I could tell you that what’s interesting is that those feelings don’t ever…they don’t ever totally leave us, but you get to a point where…I know I’m not contributing to those feelings and…I don't know what to tell you, to be honest. I wish I had some sort of guru-like thing to say, but it’s gonna get a lot better and it’s gonna be okay, and it’s gonna be okay to feel the way you feel, and you’re gonna be able to change. Believe it or not, you’re about to start changing. I’m not here to give you any advice on how you changed, 'cause I mean, it’s a process. But I did want to take you along to see this kid, because this kid’s kinda the important part of it. That’s what people relate to. But I think they also relate to you. You’ve had a lot of stuff you haven’t been able to follow through on.

 

You had a bunch of ideas of where you thought you’d be, and now you’re where you are, and what you are is kinda feeling totally lost, and then a bunch of stuff has gotten in the way of you following through on stuff, mostly trying…say, hey, I’m a little scared here and I need something to take that scared feeling away, particularly as fast as possible. I know we found one thing that really worked for that — solid, huh? — and really seemed to solve that. It was a solution. I don't know if it was a great solution, but it was a solution that worked really well for that and some other stuff, too, huh? Well, what kinda happened was that you weren’t able to…you had…you have a strong imagination, right, or we do, right?

 

So, you could imagine stuff not going well or going really well, and when stuff doesn’t match up with that, it creates…makes it tough or harder, huh? Why isn’t this matching up with how I’m imagining it or seeing it and why isn’t this…? I don't know. Am I over-explain…? I just want to tell you it’s gonna be okay. I thought there was something else I was gonna tell you. Sometimes…because I’ve been making this sleep podcast…I mean, it’s a good idea. Oh, I was gonna say people can relate to how you feel, too, and I can relate to it and being in that place and feeling stuck and being stuck. You’re about to become un-stuck. It’s weird 'cause you start this podcast but that doesn’t quite un-stick you, but then things happen and you realize you can’t get un-stuck alone. You feel alone, but the weird thing is you can’t get un-stuck alone.

 

I didn’t even realize that was a life lesson. It’s a hard one, and you don’t have to; I guess that’s another thing…and I guess I’m saying this to remind me. You don’t have to get un-stuck alone. You gotta find the right help to get un-stuck, but…and maybe it’s just not one thing, right? That's been one of the things we’ve kinda fallen into together. I think even this, to be honest, is one of those things that we’ll repeatedly fall into and be like, well, if I could just get this with the podcast, that’ll get things un-stuck. But it’s sticky, man. Making a podcast, it’s sticky, holy cow. So, I think…remember that it’s never gonna be all one thing or all the other, and it’s not really that it’s…it’s gonna be okay, but it’s gonna be tough and sticky, too.

 

But if you could say, well, this is a pretty good idea, though, and let’s…we could go see that kid who couldn’t sleep, and that was the idea that you had; hey, how come there’s nothing…? That’s the original idea; huh, it’s pretty lonely not to be able to sleep, pretty…I got a lot of other feelings going on, sometimes physical sensations and thoughts, but I really feel alone even though I’m not alone, or sometimes I am, and I just wish there was someone there to say, huh, it looks like you really feel alone. I’m not sure I could fix this for you, but I could keep you company and I can do it in a way that’s kinda fun and silly, 'cause I know that’s what you like. Here’s one thing that’s wild, is…so, we started this and then we did it for a while, and then people heard it and they said, well, I could do that, but I’ll do it my…a little different way.

 

Then that ends up that…'cause people just don’t like us. I think you already know that, but it doesn’t have to do with our value. It’s just we’re not everybody’s taste, or some people are just a little bit grouchy, right? But mostly it’s that it’s just not everybody’s style or taste. So, then they say, well, this is definitely not my style, but now there’s something else out there that might be my style. That’s pretty cool, huh, that other people are like, well, this is interesting. This dude’s rambling on and on and on, trying to tell grown-ups bedtime stories, but I think I could do it a little bit differently, or I have an idea that’s related to this but different. So, yeah. Yeah, you might not always have easy feelings, but it’s like…so, that’s pretty cool, too.

 

So, then other people that are…that can relate to how we’re feeling but that don’t necessarily agree with the style or our personality or whatever, they find something, too, or they realize, okay…maybe they find something else that’s not a podcast or not audio-based, kinda like us, right? Oh, would I tell you…? Yeah, we sleep pretty good. We have a bedtime routine, and now it’s…the bedtime routine is different because it’s something we kinda love. It’s not something…it’s something we should do and need to do for self-maintenance and care, but it’s something we love doing, though we still have to be intentional about it and follow through, 'cause it’s easy to be like, oh, it doesn’t matter; let me just get in bed and read a book. But we have a wind-down routine and that works for us most of the time.

 

It doesn’t work all the time, but we don’t need to drink or to do anything else to get to sleep anymore. It’s like, yeah, that was just a fringe benefit; I know. We don’t have to do that for the fear, either. Not that that’s related to sleep, but it is, you know? So, we don’t have to do that anymore. So, that’s coming. That’s coming, and you don’t gotta worry. It’s gonna be okay. But I guess I wanted to circle back to the idea that you had…is like, what about that kid in that room? What about me? What about somebody like me that…they’re saying, I just need something to…I don't know. I want something that’s my friend in the deep, dark night.

 

That’s what ends up…we return to again and again and again; take my mind off of stuff, barely entertain…you’ll be one of the most barely-entertaining people in the world who’s actually engaged…you’ll be one of the few barely-entertainers. You say, are you an…? I know we’ve been doing that ‘who’s you’ and ‘who’s me’, but people would…you could…you would…I don't know if you’d go to a party and say this, but if somebody said, what, are you in entertainment? You say, barely. I’m barely an entertainer. I’m barely in entertainment. I’m in barely entertainment. You mean like Thunder Down Under? No, no, no. Definitely…no. I would be barely in that, but…no, no, bare…yeah, I guess I didn’t realize you’d mistake it for Thunder Down Under. That’s good that Thunder Down Under, you understand it ten years ago.

 

They’ve got a history, I guess. But no, it’s…yeah, we’re barely entertaining and we barely make people laugh. Over the years we’ve come up with terms for it, so many terms that we’ve forgotten all of them; chuckling, half a guffaw, a guff or a faw. People are…may guff or faw occasionally at you on a regular basis. Here’s the other relatable thing, is that there’s other people out there that have ideas unrelated to sleep podcasts that maybe…they could relate to where you are and where I am, and I could tell you it’s no magical pill or magical journey where everything…things are gonna be okay, but they’re not aw, shucks…I mean, I say oshkosh b’gosh a lot, but I don't get out of bed in the morning and say, oshkosh by gosh, by golly. Let me kiss the sunshine and kiss my bicep and get on my way and kick up my ankles.

 

No, it’s not some magical change. It’s more of, oh, but things are okay anyway even though I got those feelings. But I think what I was gonna say is that people could relate to that. Well, I don't know, that’s not flashy, right? I think that’s what we always wanted, was…well, I just want to be 100% okay all the time or not. Then if I’m not, then prepare for it. I think that’s what that…where that kid’s at, right? He may still be awake, preparing for tomorrow. That’s why he can’t sleep. So, I don't know if we go…I mean, I don't know if we go in there. Here’s a thing; I don't want to be like, who do you think the kid would think is younger? I’m just kidding. I know I look younger than you even though you’re ten years younger than me, huh? I’m kidding.

 

I’m just giving you a hard…I’m just giving you…trying to give you hope and be passive-aggressive with myself in the past. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Who are we if we can’t have a little fun, right? Right. I never change, do I? But that people could relate to the fact that you’ve been stuck for a long time. You’ve tried some creative stuff, and not every creative thing works out. Even this show, there will be a lot of times…I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but there’s gonna be a lot of times that you’ll say, what am I doing wrong here? Why can’t I just…? There’s so many of these pieces that are working, but I can’t get them to work together, or I got this creative part working, but I can’t get the other parts to work. You’ll try really hard to force it to work and it just…and I don't know what to do about that.

 

I still try…I’m still perplexed by it sometimes, but I try to force it a little bit less. Because, yeah, then we get that same feeling we’re talking about; a bunny rabbit out there. Say, holy mackerel, why…what do I…? That can get in the…I guess…but that’s just part of who we are, right? We don’t have to be perfect. Oh, you want me to talk about that before…? Well, there will be people that don’t enjoy what you do, and they’ll let you know about it. Yeah, you’re probably better off talking about this before the kids. You’ll be surprised that…I’ll tell you this; it never gets easy. Maybe there’s something in that. I guess the thing I can tell you is unfortunately they don’t see that, and I think it’s…when we get to where we are, it’s just a bigger thing, and maybe things will change eventually.

 

But it kinda…I think it really makes people feel powerful to let you know how…let you know that, and there’s people that will listen that strongly dislike you, but they’re a regular listener. Maybe they don’t even know it. But when they communicate it, it’s clear. That’s confusing, too, but I think it’s confusing, and yeah, it never gets easy. Then the people then say it will say, oh, it should get easy or you should be…feel lucky to hear this, but it doesn’t, and I think that’s maybe a lesson just for…not your…that it’s too bad that that’s going on, because it just doesn’t happen to you; it happens to everybody out there, especially people making stuff, and a lot of people…it’s like…you know, you do have it…it’s not a uniqueness.

 

So, it’s just…but it doesn’t…none of that takes away that’s it’s like, oh, that…I felt that or I hear your demand or that you’re disappointed. So, I don't know. I mean, it’ll be okay. I can tell you that, and it probably has helped me grow, and it also is a preference. You say, hey, I’d rather not…I’d prefer not to have to deal with that, and maybe we find some ways to have a little bit more space. But yeah, at the same time, it is one of those…it comes with the admission of the show, but it’s worth it. I guess I’ll say that; say, well, if you have to…you do have to take it. It doesn’t ever…people say grow thick skin or whatever, but you say, well, maybe it’s thicker, but…so, you don’t get used to it. I guess that’s the main thing I was saying, but it’s still worth it. You never get used to it, but it’s still worth it.

 

It probably…I think it probably informs your behavior towards other people. Even when you watch something…'cause remember, that kid in that room watches G.I. Joe and he can’t stand G.I. Joe, even though there’s not a character G.I. Joe, and I don't know if it’s that much different. So, maybe looking at it like that; like, maybe these are adults just behaving like kids. You say, luckily G.I. Joe…I mean, I think there was a fan club, but you wouldn’t send whoever that was, Duke, a letter and say, by the way, Duke, I’m so fed up with you and whoever else, Sergeant and Lady J and whoever else you have beef with because they’re all…they win every time. But you will be able to make a sleep podcast where you say, what is…how is…why is one…why does a child grow up being a fan of the Commander of the Blue Team?

 

Well, we never liked Starscream, right? Or we weren’t fans of Megatron. With the Transformers, we were just fed up with the Transformers winning. I didn’t even really like the Commander. You say, Destro was more intriguing. We were just frustrated with the situation. We don’t like futility, right? So, it just brought up those feelings, so I guess it isn’t a good example. But this is how I’m able to put people to sleep. This is the skill we’ve developed. You see? I almost put you to sleep. Okay, let’s go into this kid’s room, and you could bring up anything. I’m sure this…okay, I’m gonna slide this door open, these pocket doors. Oh, hey, you still up? This is not a dream. Don't worry; your brother won't wake up. Don't worry; we’re cool. We’re fans of yours. Yeah, it’s me and you, and it’s me and me who are you.

 

We’re time travelers. We came by way of Doc Brown. I don't know what year it is. Probably…but anyway, we’re here to…we’re here from the…your future. Really, we’re here, though…you mind if we come up…come by the side of your bed? Yeah, let me close the door. Don't worry; your brother won't wake up. We used some magic dust. Now, the magic dust was from Morpheus, which will be a character in a movie, but this is…Morpheus, some sort of sleep god. Listen, I just wanted to talk to you and let you know things are gonna be okay. I know you can’t sleep and you’re still up thinking about school, huh? Yeah. I’ve been meaning to come back and have this conversation with you and you, who is you, who is ten…this you is ten years younger than me, believe it or not.

 

Sorry, that sounded really…that was…but it…just, I’m in disbelief. I’m not, really. I knew this was…we were gonna have this conversation, the three of us, because I want you both to know it’s gonna be okay and that it’s worth it. That’s why I say a lot of times, people…believe it or not, people reach out to me for advice sometimes, and I just tell them, you know, it’s worth it. It’s worth trying. Try out your idea and see where it goes, and you’ll have a lot of ideas. A lot of them…you’ll see through…this you is…haven’t followed through on them. Even for me, there’s still stuff I feel where I don’t have time and all that kind of stuff. Then it’s like, am I procrastinating or am I just unbelievably busy? But it’s gonna be okay.

 

A lot of these ideas you…when you feel better and you’re lying in your room…but I know right now you’re probably lying there thinking about tomorrow at school, huh? Yeah. It’s not going well, huh? No. Hasn’t gone well for a while, huh? Yeah. I know. I can see it in your body. I can feel…I can still feel it. It’s like liquid metal, huh? Yeah. Yeah, running through…yeah, no, I can feel it, too. I could feel it’s…do you…? I am you, so can I sit a little closer to you, with you? This is cool with you? It’s a little weird. I know, man. But I came from the future to let…really to let you know that things are gonna be okay. Here’s the thing; I know this is…I know you’re a rebellious kid, too, so I want to put you at ease first before I tell you, believe it or not, this is a real unfortunate situation you’re in. I guess this goes for both of you.

 

At this point…especially the school stuff, I don't know how much anybody can do to help, because…I don't know. In the future I’ll think about this in a different way and I say, well, what could I have…what could anyone have done…? ‘Cause you wish there was just some magic way to make it all okay, huh? The reality is if I was to stay here every night…maybe 'cause we time-traveled, but I already exist…I could leave this other part of me here with you, ten years younger, but I mean, I don't know if that part of me will still start the podcast. Yeah, 'cause Doc Brown and I could pick up this part of me. I don't know. We’ll think about it. Okay, so to get back to it, is…so, I don't know if there’s any…there could have been…there’s nothing…there’s no way to make a easy fix for all this, I guess is what I’m saying, and that’s not fair.

 

I know, and that doesn’t make the liquid metal stop pumping through your circulatory system, that feeling, and the burning of dried tears on your face. I know, and that feeling in your stomach and the way it feels on Friday night when you realize you gotta go back to school on Monday, and that how you feel when you can’t sleep and you’re trying to imagine everything for tomorrow, huh? It’s not really fair to go back in time and tell people this, but it’s like, what I know is I can be here with you and say that, yeah, that must really be hard and that must really be tough, and I care about you and I know it’s tough, and I know it’s tough because then you also don’t get the sleep you need after an exhausting night. Then it’s gonna be even worse and then it feels like it’s never gonna end, huh?

 

You say, I’m just a kid, man, but I don't know who I…that’s weird that I have the power of Morpheus, 'cause you feel like there’s some other great power who must have taken a disliking to you, huh? Yeah. I can tell you that at some point, the idea of what’s fair or not, it takes on a new meaning. Even from ten-years-ago me, that’s that me that’s closer to you but that’s frowning, because still got a bit of rebellion in ten-years-ago me and current me, but it’s just a different style of rebellion. But yeah, that idea of fairness, I guess I still get caught up in it, too. But yeah, I don't know, man. I know it’s tough in here. You got your radio. Sunday nights you could listen to the radio, or other nights.

 

But I want to let you know that this experience, as unfortunate as…and this is really not even appropriate to tell a kid but I think you could handle it, is that this is really gonna serve people because you’re not…believe it or not, you’re not the only person lying there right now in the throes of this. Let me lay something on you, 'cause across the world there’s other people, and across time and space. So, yeah, and I mean…well, we don’t know exactly how beings on other planets or other universes sleep, but if they have consciousness, they probably…but I could tell you on Planet Earth that there’s people everywhere of varying ages and varying backgrounds and varying lives, varying decades, that…and oh, also, all the TV and cartoons you watch and movies, that’s gonna come in super-handy.

 

All the daydreaming and wishing you do, that’s gonna come in handy. All that loneliness and pain and fear, that’s gonna come in handy. It won’t seem like it and it won't necessarily always feel good coming…but it will because you say, I’m not the only one. I know that doesn’t take anything away, but I do know that…because I’ll be leaving ten years ago…ten years younger than me behind, and somehow, that part’s looking at me. No, no, we’ll figure out…we’ll be here on some level with you, and that’s really all…can I just rub your chest, there? Yeah. We’ll be here with you so…you really do feel alone and you really feel like no one understands, and that’s just how it feels, right?

 

That’s not a right or wrong. I’m not here to talk you out of your feelings or tell you the facts or whatever, 'cause I know it’s hard and I can remember it. We’ll never forget how it feels. But also, you know how it felt when you started listening to that radio show and you got that feeling like, oh boy, I’m doing something naughty here listening to comedy radio at 10:00 PM. Then you started to laugh and then you heard people calling into shows or people getting shout-outs or hearing that other people in the world listen to the show. That feeling’s powerful, too, that you’re sharing that with somebody and that you’re laughing a little bit and that you’re distracted from all that stuff going on in your head and your body and your feelings, that all that…I could explain it to you, but basically…this probably violates all time travel rules, but I mean, what, do we follow rules, the three of us?

 

Right. That’s why you can’t…I might as well tell you, right? If you can’t sleep because you can’t follow rules at school…yeah, we could laugh at that. Believe it or not, we’ll even make stories where you return to your school and rebel by getting your hair…a perm where your hair’s curly. Yeah, the thing that smells really bad. Yeah, that’s a perm. I don’t think in any of the stories we’ve jumped in a chlorine pool to turn our hair green. We may have, though. I think some of the other kids did. Yeah, you know the Burger King down the street from your school? Yeah, at some point you’ll take over the Burger King. You’ll get a perm. Here’s the thing; you’ll go into an alternative…you’ll get a…no. It’s actually in the past for you because it was in first grade. So, you’ll be in first grade.

 

You’ll be remembering what happened in first grade, that really intense thing, then the universe will split and you’ll have a perm. This perm will have all these magical properties we’re talking about because it’s an alternative universe. It’s a permaverse. The perm will do everything for you that we’re trying to do here, which is say, hey, it’s gonna be okay even though it’s tough and not easy. Then, by using the perm, you’ll feel like a leader. You’ll feel connected to others and you’ll start a rebellion just in one episode of a show. You know when you make-pretend radio shows on your tape recorder? Yeah, you’re gonna do…believe it or not…I know you think you…did you already get a F on the report you wrote about Steven Spielberg about how you wanted to grow up to be an executive producer/director?

 

Yeah, that was a tough one, huh? Yeah, how could you get an F on it? I agree with you. But that dream will take you in a different direction. First…but eventually what you’ll be doing…you’ll be doing something similar where you get to make up stories, and the stories could be as out-there as you wish, as out-there as we’re talking about, as full of fantasy or perms, permaverses, or…you want me to tell you some more stories? Okay. I don't know, a lot of them are…there will be a story about two best friends that try to rebel to get out of purgatory and then try to rebel against various belief systems and one person they consider their rival. There will be a story about Cinderella's stepmother. Her name’s Agatha in our story. She ends up becoming a pit of lentils at some point, but she’s the heroine. Doesn’t seem like one, though.

 

She’s a bit like us, a little bit more brash. What else do we got? There was a…oh, there was superheroes, a team of superheroes. We did that a couple times. That was tough 'cause it was a big cast. A lot of individual stories like your perm one. Another one where we’re in space with a best friend who’s…here’s better news than your future; in the future…you know when you go to that family reunion and there’s the soda fountain that has orange soda, diet cola, cola, and something else, and you combine all four of those sodas together and it’s disgusting? Then maybe you combine two of them and it tastes okay, but then you just…then you combine all four of them anyway because you can? Yeah, there’s gonna be soda machines. Now, not…somewhat readily available where you could do that in a way that tastes good.

 

What do I mean? Well, the most recent one I did was about four or five months ago, and it was their flavor. Also, by the way, I’m not young as you, so I had to do sugar-free, which tastes different now. They call it zero sugar. But I did one that was purple and orange and green mixed together, and it tasted delicious. Yeah, they call…so, they call it a freestyle soda machine, but it’ll be your best friend in a story in space. Yeah, so, you’re gonna be best friends with a soda machine. Yeah, basically. Am I lying to myself? In your mind, you will be. In those stories — this is the best part — there’s other people that feel just as alone as you, that feel just as desperate as you, that feel just as hopeless as you, and you’ll be able to let them know that they’re not alone, and you’ll be able to say, I know how that feels because I’ve been there.

 

Maybe they don’t have all…maybe they have different than the cool metal or whatever it is running through or that pit of the stomach thing knowing no matter what you gotta go to school tomorrow and deal with it again, and why can’t it just change? There will be other people in that same thing, and you’ll be able to help them with just these goofy things, like being best friends with a soda machine. That’ll help people feel less alone, because there’s other people in the same thing. You know, Carl’s over there. Carl’s pretty cool. Solid brother. I know we’re not always the most solid siblings. Oh, you know what other thing? Not to change subjects again, but that’s what we’re good at. You know Chop, Chop, Timber that you play on your bed? Yeah, people…other people do that.

 

Yeah, I thought you made it up, too, but apparently it’s a somewhat universe…I think we heard from somebody in Sweden or Denmark that does it. Yeah, so, that’s a thing for some people. So, those are the kinda cool things you got waiting for you, and I know it’s tough right now. It is tough. It’s tough and it’s gonna be okay. Some of this stuff you’ll look back on…here’s another piece of good news; I’m in a place where I say, well, that was really painful that you feel that way, and as an adult I could say, the only thing anybody could have done is say, hey…and I think there were your parents and other people that tried to sit with you through this, and they are there for you. But I want to stick with you and your experience and that you got cool friends. You get to take the bus and go to a comic book shop or a model shop.

 

You get to go on adventures. The most important thing I think to remember is that you’re gonna be okay and this is an important experience, because you’re gonna remember what it feels like to feel alone and to feel this desperation and to know, well, what could have really worked? There isn’t a magical switch to flip, and maybe there isn’t someone to sit here for eight hours a night at my bedside and keep me company, but I want something that kinda feels a little bit different. I want something that feels a little bit silly and goofy. I want something that feels like they get me, and I want somebody that’s there for me, to keep me company. Here’s the wild thing; when you do that, then other people will want to take part in that so that you can keep doing it.

 

You’ll be able to keep doing it as long as there’s people that want to take part in it and say, hey…we call them rebels with a cause. It’s complicated explaining how free content works in the future because it’s different than when…from when you’re here now, but it’s…yeah, kinda like people that are buying cereal for the prize. I guess that’s the exact analogy I would have never thought of, and you’re the prize inside, kid, and you, ten years younger than me, too, by the way. Sorry I gave you a hard time, but you’re a grown-up. So, yeah, I’m gonna be here sending my voice across the deep, dark night to both of you and to everyone else out there. I know you’ll only get it on vibrations, but I want you to know it’s gonna be okay and that it does not feel easy, right? That’s what works.

 

Together alone…and I couldn’t do it without you, and it really has been a honor to be here whether it’s your first time or your 1,200th time…or people that listen to eight episodes a week, 365 days a year, over the past ten years…I have no idea what that is. But I know there’s people that have listened thirty or forty thousand times, and that’s…this is why it’s an honor, right? Wow. What a journey. Ideally this is one of those things that become…oh, okay, and then we made it to 1,200 episodes in ten years, then we made it to…we skipped 1,299 and went to 1,301 or whatever, and we’ll joke about that, and then 15 or whatever. We’ll see. But it’s gonna be okay right now. I know it’ll be okay.

 

Yeah, believe it or not, yeah, we still gotta keep telling our…it took us, I don't know, five or six years of even making the podcast to be like, you know, it’s gonna be okay, and I’ll keep telling you that 'cause I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you feel less alone in the deep, dark night and so you could fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and I could never, would never have been able to do it without all of you. Thanks.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)