1,147. Hollow Pursuits | Sleep With TNG

Episode 1147 – Hollow Pursuits | Sleep With TNG

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who…the final frontier might be the space between my ears. Have I said that before? ‘Cause it probably is true. There’s some voyages. Stuff goes in one ear, goes on some voyages, and comes out the other ear. There’s probably an echo in there, too. You might be like, what is this…? Where am I? Well, welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so that you could fall asleep. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for checking the show out, if you’re new. If you’re a regular listener, oh boy, so glad to see you again, or listen…you know. You know what I’m saying. I hope you’re getting comfortable or easing your way into bedtime.

If you’re new, you say, what is this show…? I thought this was a bedtime story, but you’re kinda talking…and I say yeah, well, this is a show that eases you into bed, takes your mind off of stuff, keeps you company. It doesn’t work for almost anybody on the first tries…first try, so give it a few tries, see how it goes. I’m so glad you’re here. The way it works…I’m just here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, just like someone you would call. So, the structure; we’re gonna have some support, then we’ll have a long, meandering intro that’s meant to kinda ease you into bedtime, and then we’ll talk about Star Trek: The Next Generation.

But if you don’t watch the show, don’t worry; it’ll be like a…you say…it’ll be like your friend telling you a bedtime story that you don’t need to listen to about the show. Like yeah, tell me about watching that show. Okay, yeah, here’s the show; it’s…let me…it’s The Next Generation, which is…so, it means…so, that’s kinda what it’ll be like coming up. So, you say, I don’t know anything about Star Trek or The Next Generation. I say, don’t worry. You’ll know even less when I’m done. So, that’s it. I’m glad you’re here. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps. 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, think…thoughts you’re thinking about. So thoughts, thinking stuff on your mind.

I have…my thoughts are always going, but they always peter…they’re never there when I need…thoughts; they’re always going…and this is not a joke; they’re never there when I need them. I don’t even know…I’m not even sure what I covered so far. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turn…trouble getting asleep, trouble staying asleep, right? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Whatever’s keeping you awake…is that what I was talking about? I honestly…for some reason, my thoughts just…they don’t go on a…they wait for me to go on a vacation. I think a lot of you know what I’m talking about. You’ve probably…I don't know if you’ve tried to introduce a sleep podcast before and got incredibly confused.

The good news is this is a safe place, so I’m able to kinda be myself and say well, I don’t even know what I was talk…I mean, I rarely do. What I was…the point that was made for me, and I wasn’t even trying to make the point…but I don't know if I made this on the show before, is that this is…I mean, I probably have it; it’s like, a lot of times during the day, I’m just thinking about stuff. I might even be thinking about making a podcast intro or talking to somebody later or talking to somebody important that I never…may never talk to, or talking to someone I’m attracted to or trying to…someone I’m trying to impress or just other humans, which I would be trying to impress or please anyway. The part of me that’s…it’s like, working on conversations early or something.

A lot of times…and then I go to have a conversation and I say…yeah, so…yeah, hi. Okay. How you doing? Uh-huh. Oh yeah, it’s…there’s…it’s weather. There’s this weather, huh? How’s your day going? Hm. Uh-huh. Okay. They say, what’s going on with you? Uh, not much. Then that’s it. It’s like crickets in my brain. I say, didn’t you have some soliloquy or some grand observations but now that I need you…? Weren’t you doing all this conversational thinking when I was trying to meditate or relax? So, whether it’s thoughts keeping you awake, thoughts about the past, the present, the future…a lot of you know what I’m talking about though, right? I can’t be alone in this. It’s not a fan…it’s…this comes up almost every day, multiple times a day.

I’m not fantasizing and I’m not imagining, but it’s like, it’s…and it’s one of the many styles of repetitive thinking I have. But it’s this style of repetitive…and it’s not…underneath it all, it’s probably based on F-E-A-R, but on the surface it just seems like my brain’s doing practice talking or practice making a speech or saying oh, when I catch up with this person, I’m gonna tell them this and this, this and this. It could be…most of the time it’s just a version of myself that’s never existed before. I say well, that would be…but then I say, what are you doing? Because you’re planning all this out, but then when the time comes, you’re no…none of this…it’s a weird kind of…I mean, I’ve been doing it probably my whole life, but it’s a life rehearsal. Maybe that’s what we could call it. Reach out to me.

Let me know how much your day is spent in rehearsal of life in different forms. This is one specific form of life rehearsal. I say, but you’re rehearsing for a role, then when…but the…a fictional role that doesn’t exist, but you’re pretending it’s not a fictional role. Then I fall for it and then I say oh boy, come on, let’s do this. This is the Worcestershire…our Worcestershire moment, when I can ask that person if they have Wooster sauce in stock, or whatever. My heart’s going pitter-patter and they say um, uh…so, I don't know if anybody can relate to that. You say, rehearsal life or life rehearsal. I have them both. I’m rehearsing for life. What are you doing later? Rehearsing. Oh, you in a…? No, no; rehearsing…well, I was…should be rehearsing for this moment that we’re talking about what I’m doing later, but I’m just being honest; I’ll probably be rehearsing for life.

Is that like living? Yeah, I’d say it’s like living. It’s not quite the same as living. It’s life and…rehearsal edition. I don't know, do they have the Game of Life? It would just be a…it would be a spiral. You’d say, this is just like the Game of Life; we’re going in circles. But I think the Game of Life ends…it ends at a mansion. No wonder I’m confused. I based my whole life on the Game of Life, and my…but you say okay, well…so, I’m just spinning the wheel right now. What are you doing? Practicing spinning the wheel of life, see if…how many tens I can get even though that doesn’t seem to impact…I mean, you gotta get…it’s mostly luck, the Game of Life. So, I’m just practicing spinning the wheel just in case it comes in…but you just said it’s totally random. I’m rehearsing.

I’m rehearsing for…rehearsing spinning the dice…rolling the dice, out there mixing it up rehearsal-style. Now, if you’re new, you might be like, what is going on here? Part of me kinda feels…part of me can relate. Now, there might be people that can’t relate. Maybe there’s something else you could relate to. If you don’t have…if you don’t rehearse for life, that’s probably good for you. You could say life practice, but practice would indicate that I’m getting better at it, where this is more of a repetitive thing. Oh, I’m escaping life by imagining I’m rehearsing for life. It’s not as sad as it sounds. It’s just the way it sounds. It’s just the way I’m presenting it. But it can definitely get in the way of bedtime; thoughts, feelings, they could be emotions related to the thoughts to rehearsal.

I don't know, I’ve grown comfortable with this stuff because I think I’m growing slightly. I say…I mean, that’s what meditation has helped me with. I say oh, you’re rehearsing for life. I didn’t have that term ‘til today, so thanks for the help, podcast listeners. I would just say, why are you making…? I mean, this is really how…I’d be walking Koa and then I would hear some part…or I’d be slightly engaged and I’d realize that part of my brain is making a speech to one of my siblings, some impressive speech. It could be about, whatever, geothermal energy, let’s just say. Then part of me, when I’m in a more mindful state, I say why…what…you’re a geothermal expert now, huh? I guess that would make you feel better if you…so, you would like to be an ex…you would like to pro…whatever.

I don't know what it is, but you’d like to present this theory of geothermal energy, and…but it’s so repetitive. I never quite get to the feelings ‘cause I say, what…are you feeling nervous or something? Or you just really like to be…no, I don’t want to be a…then the part of me is saying no, I’m not interested in being a expert in geothermal energy; just sounding like I’m an expert. Fill up some of that space. Okay, but this is someone we don’t even have a conversation schedule…we don’t even…you know, we’re not speaking with them and it doesn’t even have any immediacy…yeah, no. I mean, we’re just walking the dog. I figured I would rehearse on being a expert on geothermal energy and impressing…I want to impress…okay, you’d like to impress people.

So, whatever it is; thoughts, feelings…physical sensations could be keeping you awake. Could be changes in time, temperature, routine. Could be something else. Whatever it is…and the reason I list all that is because if…even if you can’t relate, I don’t want you to feel alone in the deep, dark night. There’s a lot of people listening right now, and probably one of the people listening…while…I don't know how many people listening are going through what you’re going through, whatever’s keeping you awake, but a lot of us can probably relate to the feelings. This could be the first time I stun the audience. They say, really? You…I don’t quite understand it, Scoots. I say, that’s fine. But they say, I know how it feels, though. I know that feel…I say well, good…thank goodness you know how it feels. That makes me feel less alone.

I’m not even kidding. But I’m pretty confident that there’s people…it may not be the majority of listeners…they say oh no, I do that too. That is another thing; I say, thank goodness I’m not alone. ‘Cause in the deep, dark night, it can feel that way. You deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you can rest and get some distraction and comfort and ideally have a bedtime you could at least feel neutral about or look forward to. So, yeah, it’s…you deserve that and if you get the sleep you need, your life is gonna be more manageable, and that’s important. That makes our world a better place if your world is a better place. It’s important to me and it’s important to me…you say well, you don’t know me. I say, well…but I know what it’s like and it’s important. You deserve it. You deserve some rest.

So, that’s why I make the show. The other pieces of information…oh, how does this work? Well, I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, and pointless meanders, which we’ve already had…we’re chock full of those. I’ve gone far afield. But all this is to keep you company and take your mind off stuff. So, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. Some people listen to it as background noise, some people listen to it like it’s a TV in the other room, and some people are listening, but they aren’t totally paying attention, which is great. But you can listen because there’s no pressure to listen to the show. There’s also no pressure to fall asleep. If you can’t sleep, I’ll be here to the very end, and I think that’s what works about this show.

I say well, you could listen to me and I’ll be here putting in work, but the kinda work I put in, it just happens to be well-suited for not being listened to. I mean, that interpersonal thing…my speech…my…whatever that is…part of me…life rehearsal, you wouldn’t want to listen to that as a bedtime story. But you’d say, the skill’s the same. I say okay, there you go again making a speech or being impressive. Maybe I…I say well, you impress…that’s the part of me that doesn’t…I say well, you’re impressive. Your efforts to be impressive impress me enough. So, this is a podcast you don’t listen to. It doesn’t really put you to sleep, either.

Like I said, I’m here to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your friend, your bore-friend in the deep, dark night, to talk…someone there to talk to you that you don’t have to listen to. It’s a pretty sweet relationship if it works for you. Now, this podcast does not work for everybody. Like I said, it does take two or three tries to get used to. Probably — I’m not bragging — a million people have said that; took…first…I’m one of those few people that’s gotten thousands or hundreds of thousands of things…I didn’t really like you and then I realized oh, it doesn’t matter, or oh, that’s part of your…your lack of charm is what makes you somewhat charming.

But most people said oh, it just took two or three tries because I was skeptical or I had expectations of what a bedtime story podcast would be or what…or the idea of what’s soothing and calming, and then I realized oh, this show is supposed to be more distracting and friendly. So, it does take two or three tries. If you already loathe the show or you tried it already a couple times, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleep podcasts and other stuff you could check out, so check those things out. What else do you need to know? Structure of the show…show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something that pops in my head, and that’s so you can feel seen and welcome and you say well, I might check this show out.

Then there’s support so the show can be free and come out twice a week, which, you know, it’s not a lot of podcasts that are coming out twice a week that are over an hour, but…so, that’s what enables us to do that. Then there’s support for the listeners of the show and communities around the show, then there’s the intro, which some people either lump in with the support or they get…at first they say, what is this? You’re talking about life…and I say yeah, the intro’s kind of like a life rehearsal too, because if you’re new, it kinda introduces you to the podcast. But for regular listeners, it might be their favorite part ‘cause it’s the only part they hear.

But for most regular listeners, there’s a percentage of people that skip it and there is a percentage of people that fall asleep, but for most listeners, it’s totally normal to listen to the intro as you’re getting ready for bed or in bed getting comfortable or doing some sort of other wind-down, relaxing activity. By the way, I tried ironing as part of my wind down routine last night. I don’t have time to go on a tangent about it, but it didn’t go too bad. So, whatever…not in bed, obviously, clearly, though that would be a bad idea. So, it might be something I would try. But so, the intro is meant to help give you a buffer between being awake and being asleep, to ease you into bedtime. So, not so much meant to put you to sleep, but to introduce you or to reestablish our bore-friendship.

Then there’s support for the show, again so it can be free twice a week, and then there’s our bedtime story. Tonight we’ll talk about Star Trek TNG, but it’ll be nice and friendly and meandering. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. What qualifies me; clearly I just…be…if I’m…I’m not totally being myself. Obviously I’m being a better version of myself, but…I mean, that’s some of the stuff that goes on with me during the day. So, I’m glad you’re here. I really appreciate you coming by, and I hope and I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep, so thanks again for checking the podcast out, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.

Alright everybody, Scoots here. We’re talking about Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 3, Episode 21, Hollow Pursuits. We’ll go through my notes first, maybe stop…I don't know if we need to look anything up, and then we’ll roll the tape for some dialogue. Door to Ten Forward…denim…oh, Deanna in blue. Barclay…like a Western at a bar. So, we’re in Ten Forward. We see Deanna Troi in a…she come…I think she comes into Ten Forward in this kinda formal blue dress. Lieutenant Barclay, who is not a main cast but is a familiar face if you’re around in the eighties…Dwight Schultz, I think? We could look that up. Well, let’s get through to the open. But he’s there. Guinan is also in blue, and a similar blue — I don't know if it’s a royal blue — to Troi. Guinan is tending bar.

Barclay’s got a bottle of liquor and a glass and is seemingly under the influence. So, that’s our first thing of like, something’s not right here, ‘cause it’s not…that’s not synthehol you’re drinking. Then he…Barclay has something where he talks back to Geordie, then he says listen, pal, get outta my life. Then Riker comes up…Troi…Barclay…oh, here’s…then…yeah, he says your insubordination…Barclay goes, here’s to insubordination. It was very much like the movie A Christmas Story. It had the very same feel. It was a fantasy sequence anyway and a fantasy of an empowerment sequence. What does it say? Barclay to ear jord runs…so, he gets called…oh, no, this doesn’t happen yet. He goes over to Troi. Oh, Geordie runs off. My notes are decipherable.

This one I didn’t have to do in the car; I did this watching it, so a little bit better light. Troi says, and I feel your confidence. I don't know if they kiss, ‘cause he gets a call to go to…something bay…Cargo Bay 5 or Department 5 now. Darnit, or something…darnation. Be right there. How does the captain know…? Oh, how does the computer know when to call back? This is one question I had at the very end and the beginning. So, I’m only used to the speakers we have, the smart speakers, where you say a wake word, then you talk to it. Then hopefully it stops. But I just didn’t know…’cause he was already talking. He never…I didn’t hear him use a wake word to say oh, reply to Geordie, but don’t reply to the part I’m saying under my breath or whatever. There’s also a transporter in the cargo bays or whatever.

I don't know if that’s the inner ship transporter. I know I looked it up before. Geordie and Riker are there. They’re talking about…this was a episode where I took exception to a lot of the main staff’s behavior. Again, I’m not in Starfleet, so I don’t know all the codes and stuff, but I said, is this okay? I don’t think it is. I’ll just be honest with you. Things need to change around this ship. I’m not okay with some of this stuff. Especially…I mean, I very much relate to Barclay. I think I’m a little more…I’m on time, so I don’t have that issue most of the time, except when I’m late. But I have social awkwardness, I have a inability to communicate directly and clearly, even when I’m not feeling socially awkward, and I just feel different. Also, I tend to fantasize and isolate.

So, Barclay…but this was the best part; so, they got a broken seal on some sort of container and then Barclay says…Barclay comes in, but he tries to hide, which I would do…I would totally do this. Super nevers…artist gunk? They say, get over here. What are you doing? Hey, I think, Geordie says. Super nervous. Riker grabs his arm; he goes, do you understand what’s going on here? Riker looks back. We’ll do the dialogue in a minute. CL tissue picker? Oh yeah, so they’re picking up some tissues, strong in aloe, and delivering them. Captain’s Log 43807.4. Everything looks normal. So, they’re having problems with this floating thing. What is it? Mag-lev something or other? It’s not working. O’Brien even says darn it all. Nope. It looks…everything looks normal but doesn’t work.

It spilled some of this…spilled some of the…in the future, in order to have the most aloe in your tissues and lotion, they keep them in some sort of cryogenic state. These tissues are cryo…or transported…they’re no longer in a cryogenic state, but they were transported cryogenically. Here’s the thing; why don’t you just have the replicator make tissues? Can you do that or can it only make food? I don't know. Rude arms of present problem? Hot SD cards…and then they go to Picard. They’re telling on Barclay and they use his nickname. I was like, this is not…Picard does speak up about it, but I’m just like, this is not okay. Actually, Picard speaks even better about it. He says…well, they say…Picard goes, I looked at his file. He’s qualified. They say well, maybe Captain Gleason buttered our bread.

Riker says he has seclusive tendencies. Picard basically says no way…there’s no easy way. Try harder. Geordie, he’s a member of your team. You’re supposed to help him. Picard warms his hands. Put peel…disrespect…one side. Oh, he says put your personal discomfort to one side, Geordie. I said holy cow, that’s the advice I’ve been looking for my whole life. I’m not kidding. After they leave, Picard looks irritated. Then Geordie shows up. Reg on the floor. He’s working on that…the mag-lev thing. How’s it going? Geordie tries. He goes, AM, we’re gonna have a mission breeding. He uses…Barclay uses a high voice; what on? He goes, are you gonna be there on time? I’ll be there on time, sir. Then they have the meeting. They don’t have coffee. I mean, maybe they had it before?

But I’ll tell you what; even…this is another reason I wouldn’t be on the…I say, I can’t bring coffee to the morning briefing? Okay, well, that’s gonna be a issue. Could I Zoom in or something while I drink coffee from my room? Barclay’s not there. He rolls in. Okay, now we can get started. Know me for…pretty routine…we’re gonna do some impulse versus…there’s a joke about impulse versus warp drive that only they would get. Everyone interrupts Barclay when he’s trying to talk. Then he’s in Troi’s office, pacing. Help you relax with a kiss. Now, the other side of it is, this…Barclay’s behavior in the holodeck is definitely not fine, either. I would say if…it’s at least unethical if not…I mean, we’ll talk about it more. Also, we learn a little bit about Geordie that I didn’t know. I guess I gotta figure out that situation, too.

In the mood for someplace unusual. So, they go…then they realize oh, this is a holodeck thing. I mean, their kiss kinda revealed that. I don't know if…did they actually kiss? But they go to some sort of forest-type place. Then Troi is the goddess of empathy. Embrace love, truth, then joy. Then they have a big kiss. Then we’re at Ten Forward. Wes, Troi…I don’t think Troi was there…Data…I think probably Riker. But they’re calling him a real project. Data calls out…calls them out for using Broc…’cause they call him Broccoli, not Barclay. Oh, that other dude is there. I don't know his name, but it comes up later. Then they have a glass failure. I thought it was gag glass at first. I said wait a second, is Barclay playing tricks on them now?

This really was the one plot point that I had trouble with because I said well, Data does…I thought Data would just obsessively try to solve this. Data is curious. So, the dude’s glass kinda melts in his hands, or partially melts. They don’t totally dismiss it, but they say…they look into it. I guess they’re following formal things. We gotta find…figure out un-shielded power source…well, there’s four thousand. Well, I’ll put Reg on it. Another mystery…power system leak…was going to try and explain…and something could be related. So, it could be related to the…maybe somehow it’s related to the mag-lev thing? Sher…ride the glass. Barclay suggested the link. He talks like me, Barclay does. Riker spills the nickname? Oh, no, but Picard…or is this when they tell Picard that he has a nickname?

But actually, Picard…oh, Picard accidentally says his nickname. Says thank you, Lieutenant Broccoli. Excuse me…Data says Broc…Barc to Broc’s easy, but Picard’s PO’d. The reason I chose this episode is I was trying to get a little more Guinan. So, Guinan and Geordie are talking. She’s in orange and yellow, almost a fleece-like material, a velvet fleece. How do you know that? I know. He’s decent…flail…in family. Oh, so we’ll talk more about this when we get to the…misfit…filling in. Oh, fitting in repels…repulses me; that’s what Guinan says. The man is nervous. I’d probably be late and nervous too if everybody was on my case. That’s not the point. Are you sure? No pat…here’s the other thing; so, Barclay’s in the holodeck. We all know what goes on at the holodeck at this point.

So, I just can’t…I mean, I guess if you were a officer, you’d be able to override passwords, but couldn’t there be some sort of…I mean, I guess Barclay would forget, anyway. But it’s like…I mean, I realize you can’t lock the…lock everybody out of the holodeck. That wouldn’t work. Maybe they’d learn that lesson. But couldn’t you put…change the lights out front or something? Be like hey, I’m using the holodeck after…holodeck after dark, okay? I guess you’d always use it, because who would want to see you…even if you were like hey, I’m just gonna go ride a bike on the seaside…I’d say, I don’t want to be interrupted, you know? I’m gonna ride a bike on the seaside on the holodeck. They say, really? Riding a bike…? I say yeah, no, no, actually riding a bike on the seaside. That’s actually what I’m doing.

So, it just surprised me you could just walk right in. But again, that could just be…they say dude, we don’t need to put that in there. Geordie’s the officer…and I say okay, fair enough, but for me, I would put at least…I would put a piece of tape, at least, so the doors would pause. Then they say huh, somebody put a piece of tape on this door of the holodeck. Maybe I should only take two steps in. Also, shouldn’t there be a holodeck paging system? I mean, how about that; you pause the holodeck and obscure…blurify it or something? I don't know. It’s good because without the revelations, we can’t get to the conclusion. No paging system; yeah. Geordie goes in and it gets weird fast, really weird. It’s weirder at the beginning. We got Beverly and Wesley.

Wesley’s dressed like Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater or something, or Little Boy Blue. I couldn’t even…I didn’t even recognize him. Beverly is dressed in some sort of Victorian thing. She’s on a swing. There’s music, British accents…self-taught, Mr. Captain Picard…sees Geordie. Okay, so then there’s…I think this is the next part. So, then they say where’s…? So, he says Beverly? Wesley? Oh, Wesley’s in trouble. He’s been grounded by Mr. Barclay. Then it’s like the Three Musketeers versus Barclay; Data, Geordie, and Picard, I think, or Riker. Then he goes Barclay, man…so, then they see Geordie and then Barclay sees Geordie, and it’s like, oh dear. So, then we cut to Ten Forward and Barclay’s like, I guess this is it, the end of my career.

He was really just having fun, like fencing, but…I’ve spent my…a few…oh no, Geordie says, and I quote, “I’ve spent a few hours on the holodeck before, Reg. Never used actual…other staff members.” Which, the computer just…should just be like, no, I can’t do it. That’s the easy solution. Also in the background, Guinan brings him two warm milks ‘cause she says that’s what Barclay drinks. He says, it’s kind of unusual. Barclay, to his credit, says I need to blow off…I mean, only the thing with Geordie; he says I have to blow off some steam. I wanted to feel empowered. Geordie, misguidedly, says it is kinda therapeutic, but you should talk to Troi. Then something is my life…so, I’ll have to figure out what that is. O’Brien to LaForge, we got trouble in the transporter room. Talk to Troi. No, no, no.

I mean that as a friend and your commanding officer, so you have to. O’Brien, we’ve got some phase transition coils gone or something. I don’t think…I don’t got anywhere to go. So, basically they try transporting this thing just from one side of the transporter to the other and it gets broken, just some piece of metal tube or something. Then we get a engineer…something…Chief Engineer log from Geordie, then Picard, Riker, and Geordie are in Transporter Room 3. Got some sort of Level 1 something. Can we make it 1400…? Oh, then he says let’s get Barclay on this, too. Can we do it now? Then Geordie says how about at 1400 hours? Then we’re in Troi’s office. Hey, have…how are you feeling about therapy? Yes, no? Which one? Are you intimidated by a therapist? Yes, no? Which one?

I like how the pink walls in Troi’s office…I guess I would want to learn more about the sunshine…sunlight sim…the ability to simulate sunlight and windows and the feel of sun in rooms. Hers is not so much sunlight, but it is a comforting light with pink walls. Inner something…lean back, close your eyes. For a first therapy session, I was like, this is way too much to ask somebody to close their eyes. Listen to the sound of my voice. Then there’s some really good comedy ‘cause he does one breath with her, then he does it again way over the top a few more times. He goes better, much, much better. Great. Totally cured. He exits. Then again something I wasn’t comfortable with, ’cause Troi goes to the Bridge, on the Bridge talks to Geordie about one of her patients or whatever, clients.

She says, I just had a very strange visit from…and I said WTF. Then it’s past…then it’s the same time they’re supposed to have their meeting on the Bridge. Riker’s like, it’s past 1400 hours. Where’s this guy? I guess I would say…though at the start of the episode I was being critical, I can relate to Riker’s frustration and Geordie’s frustration and bafflement, especially ‘cause I’m sure that they’re expected…they…there’s high expectations of them. Then they say, where is this guy, computer? Holodeck 2. Riker’s PO’d. Geordie says I’ll go get him. Riker goes no, I’m going to get him. I want to see what he’s doing on there. He doesn’t say that, but…and then Geordie goes, I better…Troi, you better come with us. He’s been running some unique programs. I don’t care what he’s been running. They roll up.

Picard…oh, we hear Picard’s voice. Data, Wesley…this is…and Riker sees all these…he says this is a violation of protocol. They say, I don’t think there is any protocol. He says well, there ought to be. He goes…then we see Riker. Riker wants to delete himself, or the whole thing, the program, and Troi goes belay that order. Oh yeah, then Riker…the holograms are making fun of Riker. They call him yellow. Then they have…they go, why don’t you deal with Number One? So, then a lesser Riker shows up, a more kid-like one. Personal…the look…personal something in all the holodeck. The image…then he says get rid of that. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s probably…Troi, Riker, and Geordie are going back and forth. She goes, maybe this is helpful for him to process stuff. You can’t just get rid of his fantasies now.

He’ll totally be without anything if this is his source of ease and comfort. Then we see…then after Troi says that, then we see her as the goddess of empathy. She’s really not happy. Then we’re on the Bridge. We see Data’s face…Warp 7. He goes…he calls Geordie. He goes, we need to find Barclay now. Then Troi tells the empathy Troi goddess to muzzle it. Then we see Beverly and Barclay sleeping, and she’s kinda rubbing his head. I mean, this has gotta be tough ‘cause they’re leaving the holodeck. It’s like, oh dear. Geordie’s…Geordie was in love…fell in love with someone on the holodeck. But I need you here, man, now more than ever. Not a captain problem, journal. Okay, so all of a sudden, the…they can’t unlock the warp drive, so it starts increasing. 6.6, 6.65, 7.7. There’s a Picard zoom.

They’re already up to Warp 9. Fifteen…the ship’s gonna fall apart at this rate at fifteen minutes and forty seconds. Then there’s a Sleep With Me episode on…they have a meeting where they’re talking about…we’ll do that. They’re up at 9.4. The ship shakes. Something…twelve minutes…they’re trying to figure out ideas. Then Barclay says what if it’s one of us…is the connection? Not a systemic explanation. We’re interacting with all the systems, or we…only us…and O’Brien. Somebody, Duffy, and O’Brien; scan them. Okay, how many things could…we don’t scan for normally? 15,525. How many can…? This is where you really see that if you are in Starfleet, you gotta be top…I couldn’t do any of this. Well, how many can exist in oxygen? 532. How many can change the molecular structure of glass? Five.

They keep eliminating it down to two things. They say okay, one of those…this was like…those two things haven’t been used since before the old days. So, this was before all our systems were invented. Oh, one of those is used in containment contanisters for tissues. Maybe they’re still using it on that planet we got the tissues from. Then Geordie calls; we got a working theory. He claps. Okay, we got five minutes. Then they go okay, we’re gonna go down and scan these containment canisters. Put on Michael Jordan…or, not Michael Jordan. They put on sparkly gloves. MJ, I put. Then they’re scanning. Three minutes, thirty seconds. Then there’s some purple sparkles. I say, that’s the stuff. Duffy and O’Brien were contaminated with it. Not bad for humans; just for some of our systems.

Drop it down to 200 degrees with some cryo stuff, and that should…we don’t know what’ll happen, but hopefully it’ll work. Make it so. Forty-five seconds. Then Data’s like okay, we’re at 150, 200…okay, one of our actuators works, but the other one’s still locked. Picard says cycle…reset it. Run the power. Luckily that happens nearly instantaneously. Okay, shut it down. We’re saved. Slow it down. Nice work, Geordie and Barclay. Glad you were in the real world today with me. Then we’re on the Bridge with all the crew that had appeared in Barclay’s dreams or fantasies. He walks to the front of them and talks…my decision to leave you is so difficult, but it’s been fun. Then we realize it’s a simulation. Then he goes, erase all pro…erase all Barclay programs. Then he goes out, but then he says except Program 9.

So, I don't know, when you leave the room, is that when it empties the trash? ‘Cause they say, you already erased them. I’ve done that before. It’s like formatting versus erasing, I guess. Then he…something out…the episode. Forces out episode sand? Okay, we got Guinan and Barclay. Wherever you go, trouble follows. Lieutenant Barclay, you’re on duty. No synth…no hanging out. Is that a fact? Geordie says yeah, observe it. Get back to your post. He says look, pal, why don’t you do me a favor? Take your attitude and get out of my life. Then he gives a slight push to Troi…or Geordie, then Riker stands up, walks over. Insubordination. He goes, here’s to insubordination. Troi’s watching the whole time. He looks at her. Here’s to insubordination. Him and Riker dance.

He goes, you’re nothing but a pretty mannequin in a fancy uniform, full of hot air. If Picard needs me, he can come talk to me. He releases Riker from the dance moves. He looks over at Troi, adjusts his shirt, heads over there. Geordie runs out…this is…that was the most Christmas Story thing. I like your confidence, your arrogant resolve, Troi says to him…and says it’s cute. Then he goes, get down to Cargo Bay 5 now…they call him. Make it fast. I don't know where you’re at. Then he turns…Barclay, before he leaves Ten Forward, says save program. Make sure…right where we’re at. He rubs his hands, he goes out, and heads off. That’s where we’re like, working on these canisters of tissues. I don't know what to do with them. Guy’s always…Geordie’s telling on him in front of other crew members.

How’s a guy like that get through the academy? Riker says let’s talk to the captain about Broccoli. That’s what Wesley calls him. Keep it to yourself. Well, it fits. They say we got a broken seal. Okay, get rid of those tissues. Can’t have tissues that are dried out without proper aloe. Barclay comes in and tries to hide. Geordie says hey, get over here. Is it a problem for you to be on time? Says sorry, sorry, sorry. He’s squeezing his hands. You had a bit of a communique, which…and they go, we don’t want to hear it. We’re getting an intermittent problem with this anti-grav unit. Then he goes to try to walk by Riker. Riker goes, I’m sick of reading your name on reports. I don't know what you got away with on the last posting, but this is the Enterprise. We have a different standard here, understood? Yeah, understood.

Riker walks off, gives him one last look, shakes his head. Doors close and the episode opens. Then we have the Captain’s Log 43807.4. Yeah, we got those tissues. Then Barclay’s working on the stuff. He’s like, I can’t find anything that’s wrong, but it’s still not working. Don’t understand what’s wrong. Geordie goes oh, we need more help down here. Passive-aggressive, too. Okay, then we’re at the Ready Room where they’re tell…I mean, I don't know how to describe it other than tattle-tailing. They’re looking at his file. I’m not accustomed to somebody having a unsatisfactory rating. Riker says I’m not sure he’s Enterprise material. Geordie had a transfer request in. Yeah, I hate to say it, but I thought I could work with anybody, but I don’t understand this guy. Makes me nervous. Makes everybody nervous…Broccoli.

Oh yeah, that’s his nickname. Crusher calls him that. Caught on. Well, let’s un-caught that. He’s been a competent…in Starfleet for years. He was on the Zhukov, and Captain Gleason said he was great. They go yeah, maybe that was him buttering our bread…buttering our bread. He’s got a history of seclusive tendencies, even at the academy. Yet, he chose this way of life. Same commitment, Picard says. It’s easy to transfer a problem to somebody else to deal with. It’s too easy. Geordie’s like, I’ve tried. Try harder. He’s a member of your team. Find some way to help him make a positive contribution. Get to know him better. Make him your best friend. Best friend, Geordie says? I can barely…I don’t even like being around him. Then he says put your personal discomfort to the side. Riker doesn’t even wait; he just walks off.

Picard looks at his file one more time. Okay, that’s when Geordie goes back. He’s like, working on it. Can’t figure out what’s wrong. Let’s go to the morning…why don’t you meet me at the morning briefing? Which of course he’s late for. That’s when he uses his high voice; I’ll be on time, sir. So, we got the briefing starting. Like I said, no coffee. First a little socializing, but they’re all on time. Wesley’s even there. Start your brains, gentlemen, let’s do it. Where’s Barclay? Haven’t seen him. He goes okay, well, we gotta get started. Then he runs in. Sorry. They go, okay. Nami 5 is pretty routine, so let’s do usual upkeep on the mag stuff and the antimatter injectors. Duffy, you’ll have that assignment…Costa. Gotta do some flow maintenance, too. Good idea. Ensign Crusher, they’ll be helping you out. He’ll help you, Myers.

Teach him the difference between impulse and warp drive. Everybody laughs at that. Barclay’s been working on the mystery. He tries to explain it, and then Wes interrupts him and then Geordie interrupts him. Wes interrupts him a few times. What have you found out so far? Well…I mean, Wesley is…does talk about…he’s like well, I was trying to help him brainstorm…or brainstorming, but he is interrupting him. Even Geordie…the guy doesn’t have any ability to assert himself. But yeah, he’s like okay, check out the flow capacitor…anti-grav chain collapse. Okay, great. So, he’s not seen or heard in this scene, even though Geordie’s trying. Then we have a scene with Troi. I don't know what to say. He’s…I should have told him to mind his own business, that kid.

I know more about flux capacitors than…I don’t need to hear from a seventeen-year-old. They say Reg, calm down. You’re getting too upset. Why are you so hard on yourself? He goes, you don’t know how hard it is being me. She goes, I understand. You gotta let it go. Let it go, you know? You’re here with me now. He goes, okay. She goes…she starts rubbing his shoulders. Say okay, I don't know if I…oh, okay, this is…whatever that thing’s called, the imitation station…whatever it’s called; the holodeck. Then he makes a new…the forest appear. She becomes the goddess of empathy. Then we go to Ten Forward. It’s Duffy, I think, Data, and Wesley. Then he’s like, I thought we were trying to pitch ideas, Wes. Or, Wes says…goes well, I’m trying to…Barclay is my new project. By the way, no nicknames.

I’m just trying to get him out of his shell. That’s when Data says I don’t understand; nicknames are supposed to be when you’re friends with somebody, but you’re using it clandestinely. It’s supposed to be…nicknames generally denote fondness between friends. This seems like not in that spirit, friendly spirit. Geordie goes yeah, you’re right. Then we have the leaking glass. Guy says, what in the double hockey sticks, too. Data checks it out. Can’t be the replicator. Totally bizarre. Un-shielded power source; that means we’re gonna have…Barclay, can you help us with this? Another mystery. I thought you told me to work on this other thing, the anti-grav. They show Riker. Gotta put in at a star base? Well, we’ll have a better idea. Barclay’s running a check on the power systems. Could be related between the two incidents.

Picard goes huh, really? Will your investigation affect our power during the mission? No. I mean, we’ll shut some stuff off, but we’ll have it…we’ll figure it out a few at a time. I got a plan. So, he goes on and on and on like I do instead of saying it shouldn’t. Then he says…and look forward to your report, Mr. Broccoli. Riker almost cracks up. That’s when he’s…Riker’s just not pleased. Data has to comment on it, but Data realizes it and turns away. Picard has…not just looking mad; he’s a little bit embarrassed. Then we have…yeah, I know, I’m…Guinan and Geordie…comes in, doesn’t say much. Orders a warm milk. It helps him sleep. You should try it, Geordie. ‘Cause Geordie laughs…’cause it’s so much tougher drinking synthehol…other synthehol. Geordie goes, I can’t figure this dude out. He doesn’t talk much.

Does he have any friends? Guinan says not that I’ve seen. Well, what do you do with a guy like that? She goes well, I serve him warm milk and let him be. Geordie goes well, I’m not so lucky. I can’t just let him be. He’s a problem. She goes huh, well, he’s imaginative. How do you know that? She goes, I have my ways. She goes, I know. Maybe the wrong line of work. She goes, you engineers, your imaginations. Geordie goes, that’s not it. He doesn’t fit in. She goes oh, okay, I get it now. She almost walks off. She goes, Turkim, reminds me of Turkim. That was my mom’s brother. He was the family misfit. Everybody said don’t bother with Turkim. She goes, I spent as much time as I could…he’s the only member of my family I liked. He had a sense of humor, but no one hung out with him long enough to realize it. My mom says I’m like him.

She goes, the idea of fitting in repels me, as I said. Geordie goes, maybe I’m not making myself clear, Guinan. He’s always late, always nervous. No one wants to be around him. She goes yeah, if no one wanted to be around me, I’d be late and nervous, too. Come on. Guinan, that’s not the point. Are you sure it isn’t the point? She solves the whole episode, once again. Geordie calls Barclay. Can’t get ahold of him. That’s when he goes to the holodeck. We see all the weirdness. It’s okay. Let me talk to Mr. Barclay, right? Got that kinda Three Musketeers-type scene. Then we finally realize it’s a pretty extensive action scene. Really good action and humor. That’s when he says oh god, Geordie’s here, the real Geordie. I’m fired. He goes, I’ll just resign. They’re at Ten Forward. Or, reassignment.

He goes, I don’t…he goes, the whole ship knows I don’t fit in here, so I can’t cut it. I’m not Enterprise material. Geordie says, I’ve spent a few hours on the holodeck, too. What you do on the holodeck is your own business, if it doesn’t get in the way of work. He goes, you’re not gonna spill the tea to everybody about this, the warm milk? Guinan’s there; she’s…he goes well, you’re imaginative. It is unusual, people you know. He goes well, yeah, I had to work out my irritation with you. It’s like dude, no, no, no. I need to blow off some steam. Then he goes okay, you gotta talk to Troi. This might be therapeutic, but at least Geordie does advance it. Oh, this is where it’s my life, right here. Let me read this part. You don’t know what a struggle it’s been for me, commander. I’d like to help.

Goes, I forget…I’m afraid of forgetting people’s names, not…don’t know what to do with my hands. He goes, I’m the guy who writes down things to say when there’s a party, and when he finally gets there, he winds up alone in the corner trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant. I said, that’s my life. He goes, you’re just shy, Barclay. Barclay goes…he goes dude, just shy. Nothing…thanks. He goes, sounds like nothing serious, huh? He goes, you just don’t understand. Then they get interrupted. He goes, talk to Troi, as your friend and the commanding officer. Then we have the holodeck scene, then the Chief Engineer’s log, then another holodeck scene with the broken thing. Then he meets with Counselor Troi, which is just classic comedy. Really gotta watch it. There’s breathing…totally fine now. Thank you.

Breathe in, breathe out. I think I got that. He says that multiple times. Oh, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Perfect. Problem solved. So, that’s when Troi goes to tell Geordie, then Riker’s like, you’re late…they’re late…he’s late. So, then they go okay, let’s go to the holodeck and look into this. By the way, it’s some unique programs. We see all these strange versions of the crew. They can’t interrupt this…where is Barclay? They laugh at Riker. He gets rid of the alternate Riker. I guess the alternate Riker is supposed to be very short ‘cause the real Riker’s so tall. Riker’s like, Mr. Barclay’s gonna be in big trouble. Discontinue image of Riker. They say, you have no sense of fair play. They go, where’s Barclay, man? They ignore him when he asks…they all walk away, the characters.

We gotta search this whole thing to find him? Troi’s trying to say this could be healthy behavior, ‘til she sees the goddess of empathy, which is the least-offensive thing, I think. It’s just more of…she’s just saying buzz words. But they say okay, well…then that’s when the warp picks up speed. Well, it just was…maybe…that one is just a little malfunction. They go, we gotta get Barclay. He’s asleep. He actually says man, I was exhausted. I was stressed and tired. They go, we better get to Engineering. Let’s see what the whole conversation’s like. This must have been…I mean, this would be one of the most awkward moments of anybody’s life. At least Beverly wasn’t there. But yeah, they walk off. Troi says we got a lot to talk about, Barclay. We got a lot of work to do, but we gotta get to Engineering right now.

Riker and Troi share a look. He raises his eyebrows. He says, I was so tired. I worked twelve hours on the power systems and then the transporter went down. He goes, what about help from Troi? But you…instead of getting help, you went into the thing. He goes, I can’t help myself. He goes, holo-addiction. He goes, I know how easy it is. I fell in love in there once, but I knew it was…when it was time to turn it off, I could say goodbye. He goes, the people in there are more real than the people out here, except for you, Geordie, ‘cause you don’t make fun of me behind my back, ever. Okay, so then they’re trying to figure stuff out. The ship won’t go out of warp. It’s jammed, picks up pace. Now we have a ticking clock for the end of the episode, and pretty high stakes. Everyone stays extremely calm.

Okay, so this is a Sleep With Me episode; they have a meeting in Engineering. Okay, we’re gonna get some ideas. LaForge out. Alright, everybody, come up…no idea…no bad ideas. What about a magnetic quench of the fusion pre-burners? Nope. Magnetic fields…fuel inlet servos caught in cycle? No, the swirl damplers would be frozen, too. Nothing showed up on diagnostics. There were no problems in the flow of the…there’s nothing wrong with the computer protocols or the power systems, Geordie says. Everything’s physically jammed. Injectors freeze, transporters, anti-grav, twisted glass; what’s the connection? They’re like…then they hit 9. They can’t separate the ship, either, ‘cause it’ll disrupt the…’cause they’re in such high speed. Plasma flow in the nacelles is not working. We got twelve minutes.

What if one of us is the connection? We work with all these things. This, again, was very impressive, just showing how they are able to I guess intellectually and creatively problem-solve, but based on a breadth and width and depth of knowledge, as a team. They narrow it down to those two things, then they narrow it down. Oh, which one could be used in containment of tissues? Then they…working theories…then they walk…they walk all the way to the thing, which I said, that’s…I guess you can’t transport. They’re like okay, we gotta drop the temperature. That all works in the reset, and yeah, I think that’s it. Then they drop the thing, they re…they go okay, just restart the power. Matter injectors online, ventral relay…reset that thing. That’s it.

Then Barclay and Geordie have a moment; glad you were here with us in the real world. Then Barclay says goodbye to the ship, but he’s actually saying goodbye…I didn’t even realize this. This is how dense I am sometimes. Let’s read through it ‘cause I just realized he’s saying goodbye to the characters. I just real…it’s been most difficult to reach this decision to leave you, but after thinking about it and discussing it at length with Counselor Troi in the real world, I guess, in-between the lines, I think it’s for the best. So, I wanted to thank all of you for your support. You’re always welcome here, Reg. He goes, I know. That’s why it’s so difficult to leave. Now I get it. Holy cow. This is even a better ending than…I was like, why is he…? Then he said it’s a pleasure to serve. I thought he was practicing. Good luck, Reg. Says it’s been fun.

Now it makes sense. I thought it was a awkward practice of getting kicked off the ship, but really it’s a really touching moment where he’s saying…he’s deleting those programs. Wow. So, that’s why I watch this show so many times. There’s always a new layer to uncover. I just almost glossed over and skipped over it. So, you’re really here together with me for a nice little moment to enjoy. He closes his eyes, too, as he goes to walk off. That’s the end of the episode. Goodnight, everybody. Got to get one more button to button up off to dreamland. Goodnight.

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)

Notable Language:

• Worcestershire Moment
• Forest-Type Place (FTP)
• Imitation Station

Notable Culture:

• Life Board Game
• A Christmas Story
• Michael Jordan

Notable Talking Points:

• Sounding like a Geothermal Expert
• I took exception to a lot of the main staff’s behavior in this ep
• Holodeck Empowerment Fantasies