1071 – Giant Relay Race Dance Party | Spice Friends 10

Notable Language:

• Bouillabaisse
• M’Lays
• Dancing Into the Unknown

Notable Culture:

• Richard Blais
• The Fonz
• Burning Man

Notable Talking Points:

• I have many questions for molecular chefs
• Who would’ve thought that the Big Ones would be so graceful?
• We can’t hear you, Planet Zipper, we’re dancing

Episode 1071 – Giant Relay Race Dance Party | Spice Friends 10

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to keep you company, to take your mind off of stuff, and be a little bit confusing, because I’m more than a little bit confused.  You could say…you could call me the Auto Baffler, ‘cause that was…I just listened to an intro where I mentioned that.  The baffles are automatic when they come out of me.  It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things you’re thinking about from the past, the present, or the future, thoughts, feelings, anything you’re feeling emotionally that’s coming up for you, physical sensations, anything…any of those things that are keeping you awake; changes in time, temperature, routine, anything going on.

 

You could have something coming up or something that just passed.  Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to help, basically.  Not only that; there’s a lot of people listening that can probably identify with what’s keeping you up or relate to it.  Maybe not everybody has experienced the same thing you’re experienced…experiencing right now, but a lot of us can relate to it, and probably there are a few people that are going through it right now, too.  There’s enough listeners.  So, a lot of us know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  That’s why I make this show, because you are important and you deserve a good night’s sleep.  The way I propose to do that is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which means I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, and…oh, creaky, dulcet tones means my voice is not traditionally soothing, but it’s ignorable.  Just like my…forgettable and ignorable is…so, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents mean I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna talk about something, I’m gonna forget what I was talking about, then I’ll talk about it in another way, then something will pop up in my head and I’ll say okay, bouillabaisse.  It’s been a while since I’ve said bouillabaisse.  I say, that’s kinda hard to say.  It’s like, there’s bouillabaisse; it’s one of those words that…that really just popped in my head, too.  People might say, is that a prepared…?

 

I say nope, that is literally what popped in my head when I said words that just pop in my head…my brain said bouillabaisse.  It’d say, can you see bouillabaisse?  I say, I can see the word bouillabaisse; I can’t see the individual letters, but I know there’s a bunch of letters in there that are beyond my understanding.  But also saying bouillabaisse, which I may not even be saying correctly, it feels like it’s one of those words that hangs in the middle, which I guess would fit…I mean, I don’t want to project too much onto a word, but that’s what I do when I go on a pointless meander, is…sounds like bouillabaisse is pretty chill, because if it’s hanging in the middle…and you’d say Scoots, by definition, there’s nothing chill about a bouillabaisse.  Do you understand?  I say, I think I understand.  I can picture something…a slow cook.

 

I would say yes, temperature-wise you may not say that a bouillabaisse is chill, but if you think about it metaphorically, it’s just chilling all day long.  You know what I mean.  It’s not chilling; it’s distilling or…the essences…it’s intermingling all day long.  Oh boy, now I’m starting to…I say I’m sweating talking…now I’m starting to think about what’s happening in that bouillabaisse metaphorically.  But even molecularly, maybe if we could get one of those great…none of the molecular cook…chefs that were popular or still are popular…they…none of them…they…I’m not on their call list for questions like this, but usually because I forget to ask.  Then when I go to ask them questions, I usually just question…I have other questions for them and I get distracted or I get shy, and I say never mind Richard Blais, Wylie Dufresne.

 

Sorry; I forgot what I was gonna say.  Like, do my thing…oh, sorry.  I’m supposed to open a sleep podcast here.  So, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of it and keep you company so you could fall asleep.  What does that mean?  Well, it means the show’s very different, to start out, and it takes a couple tries to get used to the show.  That’s what hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people have said to me.  They say at first, I don’t know…I didn’t know what…I was wondering…I felt skeptical or doubtful or ambivalent or strongly didn’t like the show.  But then I listened to it a couple more times; I said oh, okay, that’s actually what the show is.  It’s like, it’s something that’s nothing.

 

You’re the stone soup of bouillabaisse, but just with the stones and the water before the bouillabaisse was formed.  I’d say you’re correct about…correctamundo, as The Fonz would say.  Who’s The Fonz?  We don’t have time for that.  But so…oh, so this is a show to take your mind off of stuff and put you to sleep.  So, if you’re feeling doubtful or skeptical, that’s how most people are.  Just see how it goes, because you’re important.  The reason I make this show; I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, and I can relate to that, and I’d like to help.  You deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a safe place where you can rest and get the sleep you need.  So, that’s important to me, because it means our world will be a better place, right, if I can help you.  So, that’s…those…that’s…yeah, those are a couple things.  So, what else?

 

A safe place…oh, so if I can help you fall asleep, that’s important to me.  But the other things to know is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  It’s more than background…it could be more than background noise.  Some people are just listening to it like it’s a mumbling…soft mumbling in the deep, dark night.  Other people are kinda paying attention.  Some people are barely paying attention.  Some people are asleep already.  So, just kinda see how it goes and how it works for you, and…so, but you don’t really…if you’re trying to listen and you’re waiting for it to get started, it…we’re always going no…never going all-where.  Always never-where going, or whatever we…I say that I forget.  So, this podcast is kinda like a car that’s barely started, bare…so, just kinda listen loosely if you can.  You’ll get it after a couple tries.

 

It also doesn’t put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-friend, your bore-sib, whatever it is, your bore-bestie.  I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night and keep you company so you can fall asleep, like to take your mind off of stuff and just talk and be your company that you don’t have to…I’m your company that you don’t have to listen to or entertain.  I’m here to barely entertain you.  The Barely Entertainer; not gonna be a movie or a book, but that’s…’cause that’s just my role.  That’s how I roll; I barely entertain you.  I’m just keeping you company.  So, that’s barely entertaining…oh, structure of the show.

 

That’s the other thing that can throw new people off naturally, because our show is structured in a very specific and deliberate way, but it’s different than probably what you would expect, and that’s normal.  So, it starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I try to say something witty or silly.  I’m not usually successful at that, but that kinda gives you an idea that the goal of the show is for you to be seen and welcomed in, and that it’s…the tone of the podcast is a little bit goofy.  So, that’s that part.  Then there’s support, support for the show so it can be free and come out twice a week wherever you want to listen to it.

 

That happens through sponsors and listener support, then support if you’re having a tough time right now, and then support for the communities around the show.  So, there’s support, then there’s…so, that’s part…how the show keeps going and is here whenever you want it and with other 400-something episodes.  Then there’s an intro, which is separate from that support stuff, and the intro’s like, ten to twenty minutes long where I try to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully, but it follows a similar structure every time, but it’s a little bit different every time so your brain can’t quite adjust and so that you have some variety to look forward to.  You never know what I’m…when I’m gonna get mixed…you never know when Richard Blais is gonna come up on this podcast, which you know isn’t…here’s the thing; you know his name doesn’t even have a Z in it?

 

It’s like bouillabaisse; it’s like, what are those words?  That’s not Richard Blais.  I’d say…if I didn’t know who Richard Blais was and I had to introduce him, I’d say welcome, we’re here to Rick…Richard Blasse, Richard Blaine, Richard Blezza…Bluza.  They say, it’s Richard Blais, man.  I’d say, is…no offense, but has it always been Richard Blais?  I mean, you blaze.  But has it always been?  Oh, I’m doing a sleep…so, the intro goes on and on and on, and it’s really here to ease you into bedtime, to be a transition during…from your waking day…like, part of your wind-down whether you’re in bed or you’re getting ready for bed.  Now, there is a percentage of people that skip the intro, there’s a percentage of people that fall asleep during the intro, but for most listeners, the intro is a chance to lower the volume in transition to being able to go to sleep.

 

Now, you can fall asleep during it; that’s great if you do, but just in case, it’s like a landing.  We’re coming in for…I’m easing you into that bed.  I’m pulling up the covers.  Or if you don’t want them pulled…you know, whatever.  I’m over here, though.  Don’t worry; I won’t get near your covers.  Just metaphorically.  So, that’s the intro, then there’s support again between the intro and the show so it can be free twice a week whenever you want it, wherever you want it on a podcast app.  Free podcast apps, free show.  Then there will be our story.  Tonight will be our episodically modular serialized story, Spice Friends.  It’ll be nice and meandering and relaxing.  I think there’s gonna be a relay race.  Then the show ends with some thank-yous.  So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I work really hard, I really yearn and I strive, and I really hope we can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here.  It’s time for our episodically modular series, Spice Friends, with a touch of seriality, or a little…more than a touch; a little bit of a…more than a touch or a dash.  But you can listen to them in any order.  That’s what episodically modular means, ‘cause I’m gonna fill you in on most of the series right now.  So yeah, that’s…I’ll get it all set up for you.  But it’s…Spice Friends is a…so, if this is…this is Episode 10, I believe, but if…so, you could listen to 10, 11, 12, or 10, 1…any order, really.  I design them in that way.  Maybe you’ll even fall asleep during it and you say…but just in case you’re a completist, I want to give you the peace of mind that this is designed for you in mind, because I’m like that, too.  I say wait a second, how am I gonna watch that?  Don’t worry; Scoots is here.

 

I’m here to help, really.  Now, if you are a completist, go right ahead.  That’s why I try to work so hard to make sure we have so many free episodes in the feed, but give it a shot…you could also give it a shot, too, or give it a try.  So, Spice Friends is a tale of a world pretty much like ours.  You may have seen it portrayed in films, our world throughout history, but as soon as they discovered fission and fusion…and you’ve seen this depicted, these large beings, some with…that their circulatory system was cool, and some, their circulatory systems were warm, and some fish-based.  I don’t even know anything about that, or bird-based.  I’m not a expert on any of this stuff, but large, gigantic beings.

 

As soon as we were fissioning and fusioning around, particularly for offensive purposes, these being started roaming the earth, and they particularly liked to step on electrical poles, neon signs, and buildings…empty buildings, of course, and T-A-N-K-S and trucks.  Also D-A-M-S…not…with no M, though.  We do a lot of stuff.  Obviously, that’s very chaotic to have a giant forest friend wandering around your city, particularly cities they seem to go to.  Human beings tried to deal with it in different ways, and none were super effective.  It would come and go, and we never really tied it to the fission or fusion super-clearly except later on.  At one point, they had gone and come and then the President and Vice President Smith were the presidents of the United States, and one of them came back, one that’s similar to a dinosaur.

 

It was was wandering around and President Smith tried to deal with it by detaching part of…like, detaching part of the continental US.  That didn’t work.  Then President Smith somehow, by some means, became a Big One, means that aren’t important to this story.  They thought okay, President Smith’s obviously a hero.  He’ll do a dance-off and the dino…giant dinosaur will go away.  But really, President Smith had a secret plan which was to lure that Big One and other ones that were wandering the Earth in other places and get them all in this one atoll where they would be put into hibernation by another planet, Planet Zipper, which did do that; put our whole planet under hibernation.  The Big Ones were so big, they were the last ones to wake up.

 

We had sent a team of astronauts to Planet Zipper to learn more about how to deal with the Big Ones.  This was over a long time, so long…well, President Smith went to the place where…went to some place like the Mount Rushmore in another plane.  Now, Vice President Smith, she…at some point, when the whole world goes into hibernation, things change.  So, we were now called the Collective Nations, I think, for a time.  She became president of that, President of the World, ‘cause it was a lot of different…everybody was teaming up for the most part.  Not everybody, though.  We’re humans.  She was waiting for the astronaut to come, ‘cause the Big Ones were about to wake up.  The astronaut…only one astronaut returned from a team of astronauts.  She said, what’s the solution from Planet Zipper?

 

He said, expressing yourself through thoughts…having…teaching children and adults to express themselves through their feelings via song and dance.  Of course, she said what?  He said, we have to trust it’s gonna work.  It actually kind of worked.  When it was properly done with a motive of pure exploration and curiosity, these giant spice-based beings would come up, like Cinnamon Spice.  Cinnamon Spice dealt with…I think Moth Breath, and they flew off to another universe.  Then there was Lime Leaf who went to…came and helped with Feather Breath or something.  They went to the…to visit some geothermal thing in the bottom of the ocean together.  There was a garlic…Garlic and Boggy, and they went and they became a flower in a volcano or something.

 

Then there was the Cumin Cuties and Big Hairy Ape, and the Cumin Cuties became a…or were a toy, and the Big Hairy Ape would just play with the toy.  But meanwhile, humans were being humans and it was a little bit…people were using the changes to kinda make moves.  So, it was a little bit chaotic.  Meanwhile, the astronaut admitted that things on Planet Zipper were not of pure intention and that Planet Zipper was actually a planet of collective beings who…they had been a collection of other planets of collective beings, or a collective…I don’t know.  Tough to describe, tough to understand, ‘cause we’re not a collective being or collective doing.  But they were, and they were experiencing some individualism and budding off, and that caused in their society…the Big Ones were the result of that, and the reason there was only one planet left of Zipparians…I don’t even know what they were called.

 

We’ll just call them Zipparians or Zippers…was because they…because the Big Ones…the feelings on…when you’re a collective being are so strong, I guess these Big One become…I don’t know.  I don’t know if we got to the bottom of it, but if you feel strong feelings, if you’re a collective planet, then the Big Ones…I think we’re close to figuring it out.  But they would come.  I don’t think they became into existence.  They were attracted by these strong feelings and they would act pretty wild.  So, and…so, Planet Zipper said well, if we project our feelings onto Earth…and they had also fallen in love with Earth ‘cause we were individuals, and they…I think they satisfied a lot of their needs for individualism by watching us.  A little bit…you say, I don’t know about that.

 

But it was mostly just a loving observation, like oh, look at them playing or look at that person going for a bike ride, or singing to their loved one at a park, that kinda stuff.  So, let’s see.  So, they decided…but if we project the Big Ones onto Earth…and I think also, they were having this transference, right?  They were seeing us dealing with this fission and fusion and they were having feelings about it, too.  So, I don’t know how intentional it was at first, but then it became intentional.  It’s like well, if we could get these Big Ones on Earth, they won’t bother us.  We’re the last planet; we really gotta do what it takes to keep our specie going.  So, it ended up, the astronaut knew all this and got outta there while they were trying to vote on how to deal with it up in Planet Zipper.  Complicated stuff; I don’t have all the details, either.

 

But a lot of strong feelings all around, and they were kinda trying to decide what they should do.  Meanwhile, Earth decided that they no longer wanted to be led by President Smith, President of the World Smith and this astronaut.  Then Planet Zipper offered them this offer; said hey, we can help you deal with the Big Ones.  Alls you gotta do is live by these simple things we’re gonna tell you, which moderate your feelings.  Keep your feelings under control, which is a little bit different; it wasn’t this joyful expression of your feelings or healthy expression of your feelings.  It was like, keep your feelings under control.  We’ll keep watching you, and we think then you can stay human most…a low…but malaise set in.  Turns out, obviously if we don’t have strong feelings, we got malaise.

 

I’m not talking about the chips or what I say to the Queen’s Court at a Renaissance Fair.  When I buy chips, I say these are my Lays.  When I say hi to the Queen’s Court, I say good afternoon, m’lays.  Not either one of those; malaise or laying around kinda stuff.  But Zipper didn’t really care ‘cause they said okay, we want humans to stay around, we want to stay around, then the Big Ones can roam the Earth, but it’ll kinda be less volatile.  I think that was their solution.  Again, I’m not a Zipparian, so I don’t know clearly.  But that was the state of affairs as I understand it.  That’s on my honest…that’s pretty clear.  But you know, Planet…President Smith, she’s a real hero because she takes action based on some discernment, and what she discerns is gonna be best for humanity, even if it’s not a easy path.

 

The astronaut, now known as Astro, said okay, I’ll help you.  There was a lot of people that believed in President Smith’s idea, but a lot of obstacles.  Obviously, a planet of a all-powerful collective being, Big Ones, and then popular opinion all standing in the way of President Smith.  But she was not deterred, and instead of saying no, she would always say how or what or what’s the next action we can take that’s under our actual control?  Powerful examples for me.  I mean, thank you, President Smith…with the underlying sense that she always says all will be well.  I say wow, she’s impressive.  Holy cow.  So, President Smith…where were we?  So they said okay, well, we don’t…we’re no…I’m no longer President of the World.  They took that away from the humans.  They started a cooking show.

 

This is over some amount of time, an obscure amount of time passing.  So, they said okay, well, we’re…they were…became…mostly, people just…in popular opinion, looked…they call the Prez and Astro.  So, they said okay, if that’s the popular opinion of us, somewhat diminutive, we’ll lean into it.  They started a cooking show; Prez and Astro, and they would have people on the cooking show that had strong opinions about them, non-positive ones, mostly, and they would cook food.  It became a very popular show.  But this is when the malaise set in, and then the cooking went from spicy to less spicy to very mundane.  Then they said whoa, this is not good for humanity.  At the same time, human beings, we’re pretty into ourselves, not…just not…that’s a observation, not a judgement.

 

Humans did not realize President Smith finally showed them and told them and got them to believe…you know the reason Planet Zipper has us suppressing our feelings isn’t for our wellbeing and the Big Ones’ wellbeing; it’s for their wellbeing.  As soon as people realized that, they said wait a second, it’d almost be like if you had to go…if you found out you had to brush your teeth…you brush your teeth twice a day, right?  What if you found out oh, you don’t really…most of the reason you’re brushing your teeth is for somebody else.  You’d be pretty…I don’t know, you’d think about well, do I want to brush my teeth, then?  That’s not true though, kids.  This is fiction.  That is a fictional metaphor, 100% fictional metaphor.  You should brush your teeth.

 

I was just trying to think of something that’s as extreme as saying hey, let’s tone down those feelings.  So, as soon as people found that out, they had strong feelings about it, and then the food started getting more and more spicy.  Then President Smith and Astro said let’s take these spicy feelings right to some place and see if we can attract the Big Ones and the Spice Friends.  Eventually they did, and the Big Ones and the Spice Friends arrived, and that’s where…at a plain in the middle of nowhere.  Yeah, that’s where our story starts tonight, but first, we have a Hollywood announcer here to introduce it.  Drives all the way from Los Angeles.  Now, for real, again; doesn’t drink any water or use the…uses the restroom not here.  Thank you.

 

I wonder what people react to when they see…’cause we have…you must be pretty good at laying low, because I never see any pic…I mean, I guess I don’t look up paparazzi-type stuff, but no one’s ever like, is that Antonio Banderas going into the gas station?  But he comes here for the love of all of you listeners, for the love of sleep, and for the love of joy, our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas.  Thank you, Scooter.  The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to get spicy with our Spice Friends.  Yeah, sizzle.  Yeah.  Thank you, Scooter.  Always good to be here.  I do love sleep.  I do love you listeners, and I love being in your ears.  Yeah.  Thanks, Antonio.  Now you could go lie down silently.  Again, try not to move.  Remember?

 

I asked you not to wash your hair or…I know you have work, but I said don’t…’cause there’s something about your hair.  I thought it was angels were related to it, ‘cause it would make this twinkling sound.  But your hair also makes this…I’m pretty sure it’s your hair.  I mean, it looks so good.  My body makes a sound when I see it, and I’m only platonically…but I still feel it in my bones, just when I see your hair.  But I did ask you not to do…so, your hair does not look…it looks…it still looks grand, so I guess that’s just its natural look.  You’re not even doing any product or anything.  I said don’t wash it, don’t condition it until you don’t work for me for free anymore based…that you pay to work for me by driving and your time.

 

Then you…when the podcast ever comes to a conclusion, you could wash your…you know, which I’m sure is not realistic, but you humor me and you just…of course, Scooter.  But it still…it makes a noise like…I guess maybe it’s like…somewhere between a positive groan and a sigh.  I’m pretty sure that’s other angels.  It could be the…another…the Netherworld, too.  Maybe they have this forlorn but also pleasing sound when you put your head on a…the pillows that I have covered in…anyway, Mr. Antonio Banderas, and this is Spice Friends.  Thanks, everybody.

 

Okay, so a update, Madam President; so, we’ve been…so, we…I’m really pleased with our work because it was…now that the show has gone from a cooking show to a…I guess it’s called Flavors of Feeling Buffet, and the Big Ones and the Spice Friends are slowly gathering here.  It did really take a lot of brainstorming and a lot of teamwork, but it was your vision again and your confidence and your calm, your ease that said okay, how are we gonna figure this out?  The amazing connection we’ve…may have made before and then forgotten, that it’s not the fission or the fusion that the Big Ones want to consume; it’s our feelings.

 

Then we still didn’t have it, ‘cause we had people doing stuff, and it wasn’t until we brought on communities and families — particularly couples was what we started with — and bringing them on to say hey, let’s do these flavor buffets, these feelings.  Sometimes it was expressing, sometimes it was art.  It’s really like a festival of expression here out on the plains.  I feel like it’s a movie where people are coming here and we’ve had to figure out all the logistics.  But suddenly, the world is…things have shifted.  Now, not everywhere, but for the most part, where we may be going towards something like the CN again, where people are seeing this as essential…their feelings are essential and their feelings about their feelings are essential.

 

Now, not to get carried away, ‘cause we have to translate that into positive action, which you’ve stayed focused on, but that expressing our feelings out on the plains or ex…people now expressing the feelings in the comfort of their homes and then sending it here, it’s become…this is this fest…I mean, I remember there was that thing out in the…what was it called?  The Spicy Goddess Festival out in…and it was art and camps, and that’s what it’s getting like out here.  The Spice Friends are here, the Big Ones are all here or coming or close.  It is exciting, exciting to be here, all together.  But also, we know that there’s something going on with Zipper, that they’re…it’s clear the lag time is becoming less and less, and then our observations say yeah, they’re building some sort of relay system towards Earth, or they…and I don’t know how long they’ve been doing that.

 

I didn’t know about it when I was there, but they’re up to something.  So, we don’t really have a plan other than feeding the Big Ones and feeding the Spice Friends and then kind of enjoying this process and suddenly seeing yeah, the Big Ones are related to certain feelings and each one responds to a different level of feeling.  But usually, the Big Ones are more of the strong feelings that if we get…if we react to them instead of feeling them and letting them flow through us into the Big Ones, that can make you…us as humans make choices that don’t end positively always or maybe impact others.  So, it’s such a great thing to say hey, do this, let it out, and then this being can benefit from it.  It’s giving us a new sense of purpose.

 

Imagine that; not reacting to our feelings but letting them flow out and expressing them, sometimes to ourselves and sometimes to other people.  We’ve seen them both work.  We’ve seen it work so many different ways, and the same with the positive feelings, that those are affecting the Spice Friends and that they’ve…we didn’t even realize how bright they could look, and I don’t mean…I mean in a sense beyond the sensory, that they have this newfound lightness and…I don’t know.  So, it really is like witnessing a miracle.  It does redefine everything for humanity, where it’s like, is this what we needed?  But then of course, the looming sense of what is…is this gonna…how’s this…what is…we don’t know or really understand anymore what’s going on with Zipper, but we’re hoping that they could say hey, we…this could be something, right?

 

I think.  But I don’t know.  So, that’s just where we’re at.  I don’t know, you’re trying to contact Zipper and just…we’re…been sending…they can see everything anyway, so we’re gonna have a meeting and then we’re gonna see if this can keep going, right?  President Smith here.  Yeah, so things…we had things that were going…we were keeping going, and…but Zipper kept building this relay system, kinda like satellites, I guess, and they seem to have made some decisions.  But they still seem to be somewhat open-minded.  What we’re doing here is not working for them.

 

What they realized is there was something with the Spice Friends and the Big Ones that was…it’s not just the intensity of the feelings; it’s the locality of the feelings that the flavor buffet, the Flavor Feeling Buffet, is about closeness, that…and that was the whole thing with the fission and the fusion and these other things that were causing them to be attracted to stuff, was that they want to be close to the feelings.  Planet Zipper’s thought is that we’re creating an unhealthy thing with them, because eventually they’ll realize that Zipper has the feelings, and then they’ll go back to Zipper to experience or feel the energy flow of the feelings or whatever it is, and that they’ve come into a couple different conclusions.

 

Unfortunately, I think the one…they say okay, well, we could…we can use this series of boosters or whatever it is.  I don’t know…I don’t understand because their technology is different than ours.  I think really what they’re gonna do is come here, ‘cause they said well, we have this planet, we have the ability to bud off, and maybe we’ll just establish Earth as a new home for Zipparians.  Or we could go back to the way we were, and…but…and they’ll just use the boosters to intensify the feelings, ‘cause they realized they have to get closer.  That’s the whole thing.  The boosters is they…so they can either come here or whatever, some sort of…I don’t know, gate…I don’t know what it is.  But basically, they can use it to send their feeling…and feeling intensity or come here.

 

So, they’re basically sending…my sense is that they’re almost done and that it’s gonna be a ultimatum; either we choose this or that.  I don’t think that retaliation is our option, one, because I just…I don’t see any way that would work, and I don’t see a way to avoid or defend against…you say okay, we have to reach some sort of consensus or agreement.  So, what we’re gonna do is try to express our feelings to the Big Ones and the Spice Friends, and we’re working hard at that, getting…going through our feelings about this, so that maybe there’s a answer on the other side…through our feelings, through the actions of expression, and brainstorming.  Some more concrete actions, right?  Listing every possible thing, no bad ideas.  But you know, having…and going through our feelings to the other side.

 

That will get an answer.  I know all will be well because Emma…that’s what I learned from Emma Otter as a child, and so, we’re gonna keep working.  We’re gonna figure this out.  Well, Madam President, once again…I mean, I’m nearly speechless.  Your ability to help us move forward into an unknown place and find something to do that feels positive and feels like it could yield results…though you also say maybe…remember; the direction we think we’re headed in might not be the direction we’re going.  I don’t know.  You always say it in ways that I can’t quite…but I think I heard it correctly, while I might not be able to communicate it as well as you have.

 

Because right now, it seems like what you’ve been able to accomplish is talking to Zipper, communicating with Zipper, laying out the stakes as you see them, which were real stakes with real gravity for everyone, but in a way that…I don’t know, in a way that influenced them to wait and to not make a choice.  Now, I guess that’s where I’m confused.  Are we buying time or maybe this is…having options is another thing you talk about.  But so, you spoke to Zipper, you laid out some of the possibilities and that a lot of times, they might even not be seeing all of the possibilities or all of the possible outcomes, and that an unknown outcome might be best for Zipper as well.  But you talked about some of the known outcomes.

 

If we were to have…well, I guess I’m backing up because I guess since the last time we talked or that I recorded a message, I believe it might have been the last message you recorded as well, is that the fact that Zipper did try to escalate things.  They did influence…they used their beacons, which I guess that…I said why haven’t we been using that term, beacons?  They used their beacons to cause the Big Ones to act out in a pretty intense way, and then the Spice Friends said hold on, here.  There was a lot of ruckus and the ruckus was toned down, and then it would go up again, so that Zipper would let us know okay, they’re causing the ruckus, they’re influencing the ruckus, they’re aware of the vicinity of feelings, that the closer the feelings are to the Big Ones and the Spice Friends, the…I don’t know.

 

Something is happening, but that they…they’re getting closer with their ability to have the vicinity of their strong, strong feelings, though you said they’re overplaying…they’re influenced.  So, we said okay, well, this is not gonna work, and that was where you said okay, well, yeah, there’s more Spice Friends than Big Ones.  You pointed that out.  We still have a closeness, and it doesn’t really make sense if you’re on your way here and we have this…sort of escalations again.  It’s not gonna work out for anybody.  That much is clear and that by them escalating, it’s only escalating the…it’s only standing in the way of us finding a actual solution, but that that escalation is just kind of acting out from their side and that it’s leading in a…it’s leading nowhere.  Maybe that’s even what you said.  So, that wasn’t gonna work.

 

Then you said okay, well, it seems like you have two options; try to get us to go back to the old way which just…you explained to them; it’s just not in the human…we won’t be able to just say oh yeah, we’re not…we’re gonna tone down our feelings because of a looming presence of a planet that we’re…we need to behave for for their benefit.  It’ll also be our benefit, but only because of a looming thing; the Big Ones, and the looming escalation that Zipper and the Big Ones feel like…or Zipper feels like via the Big Ones.  So, he said that’s not gonna work, probably, because it’s not gonna work.  Definitely won’t work for us.  Then you said okay, you could move…you could come here and have this as another planet.  Maybe we could work that out.

 

But if you were planning on coming here and being the sole resident or residents, however you would describe yourselves, Planet Zipparians, that probably won’t work because we’re not into that.  You said, but…and also, there could be unforeseen circumstances.  You’re just thinking you’re gonna move here, you’re gonna kick us off our planet or whatever.  Then Zipper kinda said well, we might…maybe we could give you a couple areas to live in.  It went back and forth, back and forth, with…kind of like backing up into a wall or something.  Then they got the sense that you were just buying time.  They said okay, how about this?  There’s nothing humans love more than a competition.  You said, what if we see…you’ve got this beacon going.

 

We kinda see if the Big Ones versus the Spice Friends…we have a symbolic thing for victory, of who gets to decide…’cause that was like okay, we’re not gonna agree.  We have a lot of different ways at looking at the problems.  We haven’t found a way to work together that’s palatable, so what if we have a competition?  You were all…of course Zipper’s aware of that, because you’ve been watching.  You love Olympics, you love competitions because it brings out the humanity.  You love watching that stuff and the highs and the lows, and you’re…Zipper’s into that and president, you knew that, Madam President.  They said so, you’re saying we’ll have an Olympic-esque competition of the Big Ones versus the Spice Friends, and the…whichever wins…if the Big Ones win, we get to decide, and if the Spice Friends win, you humans can decide.

 

But hopefully your humans hearts are full of empathy and compassion, quotey quotes.  But we do have that, especially with Madam President leading us again, that we would find a compassionate, empathetic way to work towards a solution with all of you.  They went for it, which kinda seems to me…I say wait a second, I don’t see…but they didn’t…they’re different than us, so they…I think the whole idea of an Olympic competition…for some reason, they just became enamored with that idea, and maybe you knew that, Madam President, and they couldn’t see past it, your brilliance.  Again, like you said, maybe we’re heading…the direction we’re heading in isn’t the direction we’re going, or where our…I don’t know if we have a destination.

 

So, we’re about to embark on these competitive events between…culminating in a relay race.  I liked how you kinda stacked the points, that the relay race would be worth I think two-thirds of the points, and these other things would be worth…I don’t know.  The point system, I said wait a second though, then if you win the relay race, anybody could win.  So, whatever, it’s one-half and…or one-half and one-half?  I can’t remember.  I think if you win all of the things…so, we have to win one of the other…one of the competitions and the relay race, because I don’t know if we’re gonna win any of them.  But of course, that’s just my outlook, because I’ve been watching the Spice Friends practicing.

 

The Big Ones…oh, because they also got to choose…we got to design the relay race, but they had the ability to…’cause that was the only other way they would agree on it.  They picked all the Olympic-style events, which is kinda dull, like Giant Rock Throwing; that’s the first event.  You have to be…you have to have your feet in contact…two feet or two things in contact with the ground the majority of…sent your weight…centered on the ground.  So, I don’t know, Madam President.  It’s gonna be interesting because the…but yeah.  So, we’ll have these competitions.  I guess we’ll check…I’ll check back in or you’ll check back in, and then we’ll have the relay race, and then we’ll see what happens from there.  Alright, Madam President here.  I guess I’ll relent to that.

 

Well, the gods and goddesses or the beings of Olympus are here and active, and lots going on.  But I do have a update; had a lot of debate.  This is our kind of…what I’m at least…what at least…this seems like our last chance.  Well, now our last chance is coming up.  So, we lost the Rock Toss, which was probably…and then there was the Water Displacement Splash competition.  Lost that.  They also do…wanted to do a Water Carry competition.  We lost that.  Then we had the swimming; that…we won that, so we won swimming.  The gymnastics-style events…the last thing.  I don’t think that was ever…we…it was…that one was…I mean, we lost.  Who would have thought that these…some of these giant beings would be so graceful and that the Spice Friends, while…I don’t know.

 

We tried different things with the…I think it’s just a matter of that the beacons are influencing…so anyway.  So, we have the relay race, right?  So, we have to win the relay race to technically…what is that?  I think that technically we would win.  It starts…a lot of it is influenced by the famous…that podcaster that was once a PE teacher in East Los Angeles.  There’s jump-roping, then there’s a hula-hoop roll.  We had to find, obviously, things that the giants could use.  Then there’s a three-legged race which is kind of like…that’s what we’re calling it even though it’s a different…not everybody’s a biped.  There’s a flying thing for the flying beings, then there’s a crawling thing, then there’s the digging thing.  Then it ends, which we stood with a dance marathon.

 

Right now, I guess that was one thing I couldn’t believe I pulled it off.  I don’t know how…it’s going on now; the dance marathon’s going on now.  I’m trying to figure out what to do because I didn’t think they would fall for that, right, having a dance marathon at the end of a relay race.  But you know, I guess they’ve only observed relay races, so they didn’t realize that having a dance marathon at the end of a relay race makes any…actually, I was like, they won’t agree to that.  But it hasn’t really…everybody’s…just keeps dancing.  It’s kinda fun; it’s very…it’s hard to stand around here.  Maybe you hear my voice isn’t…I don’t know.  I put a spring on my microphone so that you can’t hear everything trembling with the bouncing and all that.

 

But yeah, so they all had a lead in the relay race, ‘cause each victory gave you a time boost instead of a point boost.  I just said well, let’s just propose this and see what Zipper says.  We pitched it just like we would pitch one of these shows.  We’ve created imagery and feelings, but yeah.  So, the dance marathon’s going on and we’re trying to figure out what to do.  I mean, I know what we’re gonna do next, is join the dance marathon.  So, I don’t know.  I’m going there, we’re gonna…all gonna join…I mean, I’ll tell you just in case.  I still have hope in my heart; maybe you can hear it.  I know this is gonna work out.  I don’t know how, because I know we’re gonna go to the dance marathon, all of us humans, and all the people that have been living in the art villages as part of the Flavors of Feeling Buffet.

 

We’re gonna dance with them and we’re gonna slow dance.  Now, not slow dance…I mean, maybe some people will be slow dancing, but a sustainability dance, and dance among the Big Ones and the Spice Friends and dance for as long as we can, because we don’t have an…well, I do…I think I do have a solution, but I can’t even talk about it right now, and that’s why I have hope in my heart.  Something…I’ve realized once again that I don’t have…I can only get us part of the way there, so yeah.  I’ll see what happens.  Well, Madam President, I could say that I’ve never danced and…it was a great idea that you had all that water and all the refreshments, and I danced and I sweated and I danced and I drank water, and I danced and I sweated, and I danced.  We all danced.

 

It was magnificent dancing among the Big Ones and the Spice Friends, and they were aware of us, so it was perfectly…I don’t know, and it was weird how rhythm…the rhythm changed and the music changed and everything kinda happened in a way that felt organic, speeding up and slowing down and staying and you just trying to keep sustaining it and bringing in different people and bringing out people.  But you and I were there almost the whole time, dancing and dancing and dancing, and then Zipper saying Zipper was not happy about it, but there was so much emotion in the dance, so much joy and mirth and so many flavors of feelings in the dance, and so many humans and so many people close, that physical, physical closeness, that physical expression of bodies on the floor bouncing around, that they were powerless to stop the dance marathon and they were just waiting.

 

That’s when it shifted and you said, this is where we’re at.  This is…we don’t have a solution.  You said…you were saying okay, we know where all the other…all the…when the Spice Friends and the Big Ones did come together, where did they go?  We said well, some of them outer space, bottom of the ocean, fused in a volcano, I think, playing in a cave.  You said we have to bring them back.  I said, why?  You said, I don’t know why.  But that’s the next…that’s…you said we…here’s the thing; we’ll dance for them to call them back.  I think that’ll work.  We’ll dance with joy and longing for them, because…and we’ll dance asking for their help, asking them to return.  At least some of them can return, because none of them were gone, right?  So, we have to call them back because that’s all we can do.

 

We don’t have…it’s the next action we can take.  We don’t have a solution, right?  But we can’t just buy time and dance and then hope things will work out.  But I don’t know, they went out there.  What were they…I have to believe it.  I have to believe.  So, we’re gonna…you said we’ll just keep dancing until they come.  I said okay, we’ll believe.  Again, this was stuff that was being broadcast, and then it was a call to the world.  ‘Cause at first, people were kind of watching the dance marathon or living their lives, but you kept upping that.  You made it again, but it was different than the stuff with the toys and the NFTs, or even the making toys for someone else.  This was…and you said you saw it in a movie once.  You said it was one of the sequels to one…a movie where there was…dancing was a part of their belief system.

 

But you also said dancing has got to be in a…somewhere.  Like, this raw, rhythmic dancing.  You said if we could get the whole planet dancing, or most of it; you said obviously…probably…even if it’s 2% of the planet, that’s probably all we can ask.  Something will happen.  Things will happen.  A solution will become possible.  So, we danced as a planet together, all the humans.  I have to believe more than the humans, because…that every creature on the Earth took notice, because I think it was more than 2%.  There was people saying that the humidity rose as the world danced together, and people were…it changed people’s relationship.  Like you said, all will be well.  But you don’t necessarily feel that 100%, right, and dance through it, or asking for help.

 

We don’t know…wow, dancing into the unknown and dancing and dancing and dancing’s all we did until, again, we saw…at first was Long Feather and Lime Leaf splashing and flying their way towards us, and then Cinnamon Stick and Moth Breath, and Garlic and Boggy coming, and we don’t know what’s gonna happen next.  This is on camera; they’re coming towards us as we dance, and Zipper’s not happy because they said we…they keep saying…but we say we can’t hear you; we’re dancing.  Our whole planet is dancing.  When they arrive, I guess our planet will probably have to rest for a while.  But you’re confident that all will be well.  Still am not exactly sure how all is gonna be well.  You said don’t worry; I don’t know either, but it is.  It will be well.  Let’s keep dancing, let’s keep dancing.  So, I’m gonna dance for a little while longer, the slow dance, winding, winding down before I rest, because that’s what you taught me to do, Madam President.  Thank you.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)