1035 – Purple Porpoise with Purpose

Episode 1035 – Purple Porpoise with Purpose

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster, patrons, that you empower so I can help you unplug.  It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep, patrons.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine, so any of those things are keeping you awake.  It could be other stuff.  It could be travel, work, scheduling changes, anticipation.

 

Whatever has got you tossing and turning and all that stuff or woken back up, or whatever it is, I’m here to take your mind off of it and keep you company.  This podcast is really different than most other stuff.  I’m really just here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh.  I’m not really here to put you to sleep; I’m here to just kinda talk in a…and meander and go off-topic so you don’t really have to listen to me, but I’ll be around if you need to.  Now, if you’re new, did I already say…?  If you’re a regular listener, did I miss any parts of the intro?  Oof, really?  I’m gonna send my voice…did I say that part?  I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders.

 

That’s how I’m gonna do this, what I was describing earlier.  Thanks for the reminder, regular listener.  Superfluous tangents, extra words, going off-topic, all to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep.  Now, if you’re new, there’s a few things to know that regular listeners have communicated to me over the years.  This podcast is very different, and that’s okay, and it’s okay for you to have feelings about it being very different.  In fact, both those things can exist in the same…they just do.  I guess they can exist in the same place, though, and be pleasant.  So, if you’re having…if you’re skeptical or you’re doubtful or right now your hackles are up or whatever, you say I don’t know about this podcast, that’s a very normal way to feel.

 

Or I don’t know, why does the podcast gotta start that way and then do this?  Then when’s it gonna…the next part gonna start?  Yeah, that’s okay.  It’s totally normal to wonder that.  In fact, regular listeners have communicated to me is that over the years, it takes a few times listening to the show before you could even…you could decide right away this isn’t for me, but actually, I get a lot of reviews of people that did that and then came back years later and became regular listeners.  So, you could do it that way or you could listen a few tries.  One of the reasons I recommend that or regular listeners recommend that is because this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  So, that’s kinda the first reason, is oh, it takes a few times to be like okay, I just barely pay attention to the podcast.

 

It’s a bedtime story podcast, but kinda like when a kid gets a bedtime story, but less…oh, because I’m a…yeah.  So, I don’t really…I just lie here and barely pay attention.  So, it’s not like you’re telling me a story to engage me; you’re telling me a story so I can disengage from the other stuff.  I’d say wow, that’s probably the best summary I’ve ever heard.  Thank you so much.  That was great.  So, it’s a podcast you don’t really listen to so much as it’s running in the background and you can listen into it when you need it or when you choose to, or just barely.  Kinda like holding onto beach sand.  You say, you could hold on, and if you hold onto it long enough, maybe your hand sweat will solidify it and turn it into…it wouldn’t be beach mud, but it’d be more like clumps of beach sand.

 

Or you could let it slowly…or you could dust it off.  Sometimes I like to pretend…I don’t think I’ve talked about this, but when beach sand gets on stuff…in my mind; kids, just pretend visually.  This is only a visual exercise.  But I imagine my hand, it was dipped in cinnamon sugar.  I mean, I don’t try it because you only try it once and you say nope, that’s sand for sure.  Or your feet; you say well, there’s my feet dusted in cinnamon sugar.  Maybe you do one of those things where you jump up and click your ankles together or you brush your hands off and you say okay…I don’t know.  Just something that popped in my head I thought I’d share with you.  But it is something I do.  Or I’ll look at stuff and I’ll say, is that…?  Even though I’m at a beach and I know…part of me knows; another part of me just doesn’t.

 

It says huh, is that pail and shovel coated in cinnamon sugar or beach sand?  Part of me says well, I wish it was coated in cinnamon sugar.  I say, really?  ‘Cause what would you do with it anyway if it was…?  You’d say yeah, I guess you’re right then.  I guess it doesn’t matter, so we could just look at it and visually imagine it.  Oh boy, I went off-topic there.  Oh, so this podcast is a bit like…it has the substance of beach sand.  So, that’s one thing; just barely listen.  The other thing that’s hard to get used to or has…takes a little while to adjust to is that this podcast doesn’t really put you to sleep, either, even though it’s a sleep podcast and I’ve been doing it a long time.  This podcast is more here to keep you company while you fall asleep than to put you to sleep.

 

That’s why the shows are over an hour long, is so you have plenty of time, so you don’t have to say oh boy, what happens if I’m not asleep in twenty minutes?  Don’t worry.  I’ll be here.  If you can’t fall asleep, I’ll be here.  If you’re not listening, I’ll be here.  If you wake up later, I’ll be here for you.  I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep.  But if you can’t sleep, yeah, I’m here to keep you company and if you’re not listening, that’s great too.  Or yeah, if you want to talk to me later or listen to me later or you need me during the day ‘cause things are stressful, I’ll be here.  But I’m not…I’m here for you.  You don’t have to be there for me in the deep, dark night.  I’m here to keep talking and keep you company.  So, those are two things that are hard to get used to but regular listeners enjoy.

 

The other thing is the majority of people listen to the podcast in a certain way, but when I say…or maybe the…well, I guess it is a majority, but there’s plenty of other ways as you become a regular listener to say well, I think I like consuming Sleep With Me this way.  That could be setting a sleep timer for forty-five minutes or sixty minutes or thirty minutes.  It could be dropping us down to .75 speed or .8 speed or whatever.  You could be the small percentage of listeners that start the show at twenty minutes or twenty-two minutes or eighteen minutes.  So, you could see how that goes.  What other ways?  There’s a lot of other ways to adjust to the show, but most people, the show is structured so they can be adjusted but that this is just the way it’s mainly consumed.  There’s no right or wrong way.

 

But so, the structure of the show definitely throws new listeners off, or people that expect…have a different expectation.  Understandably that would throw you off.  You say, I expected a bedtime story wrapped in a bow.  I’d say well, clearly if you…once you become a regular listener, you realize Scoots is not meant to wrap anything.  I mean, maybe do some light rapping, but not wrapping of…with paper or bows.  Like, I’m the kind of person you say…it’s…you say oh, you wrapped that yourself.  I could be fourteen blocks away with your gift or your bedtime story.  You see me…you say, I could see you two miles away.  You wrapped that yourself, huh?  Oh yeah, I knocked over that telephone…I couldn’t get this one…even though it’s just a book, I couldn’t get this one side down, and yeah, it bumped some stuff on the way over here.

 

Also, I…yeah, I ran out of…I never had any clear tape, so I had to use various tapes and sticky things I had around the apartment.  So, oh, what was my point there?  Oh, podcast doesn’t put you…oh, the structure of the show.  So, the structure of the show goes like this; starts off with a greeting.  Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls so I hope you feel seen and welcome.  I really do.  Even if the podcast, you loathe it, I hope you still feel seen and welcome and important, because…and that your sleep is important.  So, that’s why the show starts off with that.  Then there’s business and listener support.  The listener support are links that you could use right now to connect with other ways of getting support.  Then there’s support for the show so it can be free and come out twice a week.

 

So, that’s listener support, sponsor stuff like that.  Then there’s the intro.  This is the first thing that can throw people off, is for some reason, I think if people just start hitting thirty seconds or whatever, it could feel like the sponsors and the into are the same things or something.  But if you’re kinda barely listening, you know the intro serves a very distinct purpose.  Or I guess purposes, because…makes me think of porpoises, ‘cause I don’t think there’s…is there…?  I have multiple…more than one purpose.  Purpose is one of those words that does something when it’s plural.  I don’t…or doesn’t do anything.  Purpose and porpoise.  The purpose…the porpoise with purpose.  The purple porpoise with purpose.

 

Well, tonight’s episode was about…supposed to be about something else, but now we know what it’s gonna be about.  But oh, the purpose of the intro is one, to introduce you to the new show, but…the new listeners to the show, but that should only take a few minutes for a regular podcast.  But it also…the reason the intro goes on from like, somewhere around ten to twenty minutes is to give you a chance to get some distance from the day and unwind or be a part of your bedtime routine if you’re getting ready for bed or you’re in bed getting comfortable.  The intro gives you some distance and a chance to wind-down, which I’ve found and over the years is very important, that there’s no instant sleep solution that works for me or the people that listen to the show.

 

The intro’s the time to get comfortable or do something relaxing, or to do something productive.  You could be doing some light…I don’t know, getting ready for bed or just doing some org…light organizing.  Please, you know, nothing too strenuous.  So, that’s the intro.  Then there’s business between the intro and the show.  That’s, again, key for a free show.  Then there’s the story, which tonight…I thought it was gonna be one thing; I guess it’s gonna be something about a purple porpoise purpose.  So, it’ll be…I don’t know what to expect.  We’ll find out later.  Then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show.  So, that’s the structure of the show.  Just see how it goes.  I’m just here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff.  The reason I make this show is because I’ve been there.

 

I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  I know the strong…I know the pain of sleeplessness or struggling to get to sleep or the desire to fall asleep and having it be something you can’t achieve.  I know what that feels like, and I know what it feels like during the day when you’re not rested or other people are like…don’t understand.  Even when you have a bedtime routine, I noticed…and I’ve done this to other people, so I guess I gotta apologize to them, but where you say well, I gotta start my bedtime routine now and they give you a hard time.  Or they just give you advice that doesn’t work.  Whatever it is, I know how it feels and I’m happy to help.

 

But I’m also happy to help because you deserve it.  You deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve some rest.  You deserve to live your life a little bit more full.  If I can help with that, that would be my honor.  It would be my pleasure.  So, I don’t know.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I really yearn and strive to help you fall asleep.  Please give the show a few tries and see how it goes ‘cause I really want to help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to be here for you free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here with another tale that people…tales never heard before, even though maybe you…maybe you could, maybe you would, but maybe you didn’t.  This is the tale…oh, beloved tale that involves some people we haven’t checked in on in a while, so long that I have no idea what the characters’ names are.  Names aren’t always important; it’s the people that are important.  Even though you forget their names, you spend time with them, and…you say Scoots, you created the characters, though.  I say no, no, no, I’ve just been relaying my tales that I’m…that I hear of out on the high…in the highways and the byways of my mind.  Those are the founders of the Purple People Circus, one of the most renowned circuses that…you say well, I’m not familiar with that one.

 

I say well, I know, but it’s…it has renown.  Not even sure what renown means.  You say, what is a word that Scoot…what’s a proper word Scoots uses over and over again?  Renown, when I reuse my nouns.  Yeah, I call that…what’s one technique that goes into Sleep With Me podcast that no one talks about and has never been studied before, but there’s a word for it?  But it’s a word for something else, but Scooter repurpose…renown or reverb?  Reverb…they call it reverb.  This is reverbing.  Oh, like reverberation?  Well, it reverberate…when I reverb things or renown things…what does that even mean, though?  Well, it’s when I…it’s when I repeat a noun or a verb.  Or rename.  Oh, it’s when you change a character’s name?  No.  Sometimes I like to reuse their name over and over again.  I rename them.

 

Isn’t that just repeating their name?  Sure, but rename is easier to say.  Rename…or what if you had…what would…what would it be if there was a character…has there ever been a character named Pete on your show?  Do you want me to repeat…?  Are you asking if I have repeated before?  Oh boy, have I.  Yeah, I could do this all day, but this tale starts a long time ago.  So, this is a tale about the Purple People Circus, but it’s called…if it was a book, it would be called The Purple Porpoise with Purpose.  The Purple Porpoise with Purpose.  It starts, of all places, in the sky, because this isn’t the kind of porpoise you’re thinking about.  It starts at a time of the year that some would say…AJ and Aly would say it’s the best time of the year, and that’s a holiday season when this tale…when…the prequel…if we were doing the prequel to this tale…that we would talk about, but it’s The Purple Porpoise with Purpose.

 

Was not a traditional mammalian porpoise, which is what I thought when I heard this story.  I said, you gotta tell me this story, The Purple Porpoise with Purpose.  The only book I’m familiar with in that genre is Mr. Messy, that I had to read over and over again when I would say this is the story of my life.  I’d say, why am I reading it then over…in front of my entire…and they say oh, okay, to make a point, to let you know…to let me know you’re the authority figure and I’m not.  But that is not what happened with the purple porpoise with purpose, because…use your patience for this tale.  This started in Santa’s sleigh, up in the…high in the sky, in the upper atmosphere, even.  Or maybe not; I don’t know where Santa flies.  So many different Santa myths and factual…all the different Santa stuff.

 

This is not a Santa-centric story, but I just gotta get through it, is that…so, there was this porpoise, right?  It was a purple porpoise.  We’ve talked about different things about these gifts, particularly when you get into well, when did Santa stop delivering…?  That kinda stuff that we don’t talk about with children.  But this porpoise…purple porpoise was in Santa’s big bag of gifts.  This only…I would say that not the majority of Santa-based tales or tales with Santa Claus in it have this occurrence; usually it’s a mechanism for some other part of a story.  It is something you can’t quite grasp, but that sometimes there’s toys that fall out of Santa’s sleigh.  I don’t know if prep and landing have covered this, because every time I watch those, then I get distracted and then I…or then I get distracted by something and I say wait a second, what would I do in that situation?

 

Then I kinda start…I pretend I’m…I get caught up in it, okay?  So, I’m unaware of what technological mechanisms they have to keep that from happening, but for the most part, they do.  Also, we don’t have a clear thing on when or if all toys are sentient.  Are all sentient toys toys?  I don’t know.  Put it on the SAT and let’s find out the answer to it.  Are all toys sentient?  That’s a no…no.  I mean, that’s a no, clearly.  Are all sentient toys gifts?  No, but are the best toys gifts?  I don’t know, because sometimes the best toy is the…a toy you buy with your own hard-earned money, like when I bought that G.I. Joe hovercraft, even though I know I was too old to buy it and I shouldn’t have been getting in the bathtub with G.I. Joes at my age.  I did it and I’ll never look back.

 

A matter of fact, I gotta track one of those down and maybe get it.  I didn’t even think about that ‘til…another boondoggle, here.  But some toys do gain some degree of sentience.  Now, it goes back to that reverberation thing, and a lot of it or most of it is beyond my understanding.  But so, this purple…okay, once upon a time…oh boy, we…I could have saved us twelve minutes there.  But what would that…who would that have served?  Just those people that want to get right into the myth.  Once upon a time, there was a purple porpoise.  It was in Santa’s sleigh.  One Christmas Eve, there was a purple porpoise.  You say well, what was its name?  I said well, it’s…let me get to that.

 

This purple porpoise was at the top of Santa’s bag on Christmas Eve, excited, just slowly wakening that soon it would be in a home and soon it would be…now, this purple porpoise, again, to back up, it had reached some sort of sentience earlier because it had some memories and some anticipations and expectations, because this purple porpoise…and when you think about sea mammal and most sea-based plush…I don’t want to say…I can’t say all sea-based plush or stuffed animals…is that…the fact that there’s a lot of hype when you’re backstage, you’re in post-production, you’re in warehousing, you’re in logistics.  Some of these toys get talking and there is a bit of a game of Telephone; I heard this or I heard that or I heard the elves talking or the humans or my predecessor told me.

 

There are alumni that do reach…if you want…now, you’d be surprised, but if a animal has a blowhole, it could be a blowhard even if it’s a plush animal.  At one point there had a norwhal.  Narwhal or norwhal?  I don’t know…that had come to the North Pole, a toy that had celebrated life as a toy and companion.  Even made it to college, but slowly also gained sentience and independence — rare — and I guess financial independence or something.  Made its way back to the North Pole as alumni tend to do, and said well, I want to get back to the North Pole and stroll the halls of…I want to return home and see what it was like, feel what it feels like, and blow some hot air about what the world…big world’s like out there.

 

Actually, it wasn’t that much of a blowhard, ‘cause the norwhal did not tell everybody this, but when it got into the sea mammal plush area and…I don’t know.  I just call it logistics, but I’m sure it’s like warehousing, pre…whatever, I don’t…pre-staging.  This is the kind of stuff that doesn’t even make it in a prep and landing thing, ‘cause they say well, okay.  Well, we could do that…that’s the kinda part we show during the commercial, Scoots.  That’s what they always say when I send them a message.  I say dear prep and landing, wait a second…hold on, isn’t that the department…?  Oh boy, sorry; I forgot your names.  I thought you were prep-and…maybe you are, though.  I say, where does everything…?  How does that all work?  I make a sleep podcast.  Oh, but so, this norwhal or narwhal…norwhal?

 

Narwhal?  I don’t know.  You know, a sea-based mammal.  Maybe it’s a mammal; I’m not even sure.  But it went there and it went…so, it just went to the section with the sea-based plush.  Nearby, I think at least at this stage of the prep, it was with other sea-based toys or sea beings, surface vessels.  Nothing with a specific utility, so not like scuba stuff, but Scuba Steve-type toys and dolphin…all that kinda stuff.  It was on the same general vicinity, so this norwhal wanted to go back and walk the halls and relive those times.  Oh boy, I remember when this didn’t have digital…whatever.  I don’t know what…looks a lot smaller now, or does it look bigger?  You know, that kind of pondering.  But for all the toys and stuff, they said yo, yo, hey, what do we got going here?

 

While there is…okay, so again, this is tough to understand even…I mean, I’m not an elf and I don’t work for Santa, so I can’t say why I don’t understand it or why it doesn’t make sense to me, because I’m not there.  I can just say yes, I recognize none of this makes a lot of sense, but not all these toys are sentient.  Again, one of those Santa-based things beyond my understanding.  But some of the toys are.  You say, some communicate, some don’t.  Some of them are like hey, hey, hey, what’s it like out there?  Blah, blah, blah.  The norwhal went on this one tangent…not as long as this one I’m on, but…and said basically once upon a time…I could have done it that way, probably.  But the norwhal said…they said, what’s it like?  Blah, blah, blah.

 

Then the norwhal kinda had to go through what is it like to be a plush, what is it like to be a stuffed animal?  Also wanted to point out that for some reason that the norwhal didn’t understand, a lot of sea-based plush is foam…not a…one of those loose stuffings.  A lot of them have foam balls.  Polystyrene, I would assume, or something like that.  A lot of them are constructed from that…their insides are made of that material versus a padding or a fibre fill type thing.  The narwhal said if you were…if you do have that kinda filling, you’re probably stuffed very…’cause we have to keep our shape, basically.  We’re stuffed different than a lot of other stuffed animals because we’re shaped different.  Positive thing; some bears or other things, they’re more rounded.  But it’s just something they’ve learned over the years.

 

Of course, none of the toys who are just basically children…but some of the toys…whatever, they develop at different rates.  So, some of the toys were like, what the heck you mean?  Why is that important to know?  Like I would say, the norwhal said well, that’s a great question.  Of course, that’s why I’m talking about it, because you’re really all so luckily.  The norwhal looked over to the other lanes nearby and said by the way, if you’re not a plush but you’re a bath toy, you’re lucky too, because…the norwhal said the strangest thing about being a sea-based mammal or non-mammal…sea toy, whether you’re water-based or you’re gonna be land-based, you get a lot of different experiences that maybe not all these other toys out there are gonna get.  They said well, what do you mean?

 

Then the norwhal got distracted and explained the sea…the tub…the toys that could be used in the tub but aren’t just 100% tub-centric toys.  Like, well, you might get played with in the sand.  You might get played with with a play set.  It could all…depends on how the child wants to imagine things, and the same goes for all you, my plush people.  Because of your shape, not only will you be snuggled with and maybe be in bed with a child or on the couch, or maybe you’ll be their companion on travels, but you’re gonna be…because of your structure, because you have a much firmer superstructure, you might even get played with.  He goes, I think it’s something about our fins, because…and because we’re firmer.  It’s just a fact.

 

Oh boy, are you lucky, and that’s why I want…I came back here ‘cause I’m just so grateful for the life I’ve lived.  Then some of the toys…what do you mean?  They said no, no, no, I’m just…you get to a certain age as a toy and you want to look back.  I want to be a toy like you again.  They said well, why don’t you hop in the bin?  I said no, no, no, I have travel.  It’s your turn.  So, up in Santa’s sleigh, this purple purpose…purple porpoise that would have purpose one day already felt like it had two…whoa, boy.  Can’t wait to get down to where I’m going because then I’ll be under that tree, I’ll get the experience and the thrill of the holiday season.  Then I wonder if I’ll be a snuggle toy or I’ll be a play toy, or maybe even they’ll use me for puppetry or shows.  So, I’m really excited.

 

I wonder which of my purposes will be the one I fulfil first.  Now, this night is not famous for this event.  It’s famous for another event glamorized by Hollywood and books, from Golden Books to the…I don’t know if they ever did it on the Golden Girls.  They probably did, but this was the night of Rudolph’s first flight, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.  This was Rudolph’s first flight across the…whatever, where they said Santa, oh so tight…get your nose out here even though we…even though…it’s a whole ‘nother story, but Santa said Rudolph, you got a bright nose and we need it.  It’s a stormy night.  Again, not everything North Pole-based is within the realm of our understanding as reg…or at least my understanding as a regular human being.  Rudolph…play with our reindeer games or whatever.

 

Get up…ups in the sky and let’s go tonight.  Anyway, that’s a complicated song and movie.  We don’t need to get into it.  But Rudolph was flying; it was a stormy night.  This is just to explain why…whatever active countermeasures were supposed to keep this purple porpoise in the…Santa’s bag.  Or…you’re a smart listener; I know you.  You say wait a second, Scoots, this is also beyond our understanding, and beyond the understanding of this purple porpoise, maybe.  I’d say, you’re probably right.  You’re probably right.  Oh boy, are you probably right.  But at the time, none of us knew that, and the purple porpoise didn’t know that.  They hit some turbulence and the bag was open and whatever.  The purple porpoise popped out into this night sky.

 

But then something happened, because it wasn’t just like, fly up, because…I don’t know…what’s that called, but the purple porpoise already had momentum because the purple porpoise was traveling at the same speed as the sleigh.  Also, whatever, there’s some sort of…whatever supersonic stuff is going on, and there’s magic in that old tin hat they found, or whatever they said.  So, the purple porpoise got kinda sucked into a little bit of a vortex…the sleigh, but that’s…also had some…I don’t know.  They have…that’s on prep and landing.  There’s magical afterburners or something.  They had electrified pixie sticks with magical energy or something.  So, the purple porpoise gets swept up in that.  Luckily for the purple porpoise, it also put the purple porpoise into a nice, deep, calm sleep.

 

The purple porpoise floated…and again, because of this exact same thing the norwhal had pointed out…and because of the magic or whatever, but also because of the shape.  It was like this…that foam that you kinda…those foam beads or whatever.  The purple porpoise had a somewhat aerodynamic shape.  Now, nothing like a jet plane or anything, but it flew and it got caught in updrafts and downdrafts.  Eventually it floated and floated down.  Of all places it would land, it landed…I mean, talk about irony, but it landed…what is…those called?  Antlers.  I think that’s what they’re called.  Reindeer; it ended up in a set of reindeer antlers.  Or maybe they’re…no, no, they were moose antlers.  I’m sorry.  Giant moose antlers, so…and that were cupped in a way that the moose was kinda unaware of it.

 

The moose was sleeping and this purple porpoise was sleeping.  The purple porpoise landed in the moose’s thing, the top of one of the moose’s antlers.  This was one of those giant mooses that you’d see in the great Canadian north.  I don’t know.  I mean, I don’t want to trope it, but that’s where I’d expect to see it.  Wide antlers or…yeah, I think they’re called antlers, and a little bit of moss and greenery.  Right on the edge of a little bit of a overhang, you know?  This moose had found a place to sleep.  Then the moose awoke the next day, and the next day the sun rose.  Again, this was a magical sleep the porpoise was under.  So, the moose started to walk, and this moose was in the middle of…this moose was on its own journey.  This moose was named Glisten, and Glisten had…I don’t know.

 

Glisten was just…had again…I’m trying to go explain something without going too far afield.  But Glisten had gone far afield from being a moose.  Glisten had done a lot of watching TV through windows.  I think the most…this wasn’t Glisten, but it was glamorized in that Northern Exposure…not even…it wasn’t glamorized…that show glamorized it, I think, or maybe my imagination created it.  But it wasn’t glamorized outside of northern exposure, but that this moose would wander around these towns.  This was back once upon a time when main streets sold TV…they had TV repair stations and TV…they sold TV stations in independent stores, and repair people could repair TVs.

 

So, I think in Northern Exposure, it was one or the other, where the moose could just wander around the downtown and look in the window and watch TV.  Glisten was raised in an area somewhere…I don’t know where it was, I’ll be honest.  I don’t know if it was the US, Canada, or somewhere else in the northern or southern hemispheres.  Mooses are also beyond my under…my…they are, beyond my knowledge base.  But this moose, Glisten, watched a lot of TV.  This happened to be an era where there was a lot of…at least when the time Glisten was watching…or at least Glisten…I don’t know how much…the TV shows Glisten consumed that Glisten processed other than wanting to…suddenly Glisten was like, I’d like to be a beast of burden.

 

He said…fantasize about it, fall asleep thinking about it, wake up thinking about it, being an ox, being a draft horse.  Whatever shows…I don’t know if there was shows from…I don’t know what…from the West or Middle Ages or farming shows.  Probably all of those that Glisten was watching.  What Glisten would do…and this was a area where moose…mooses or mooses…yeah, moose or mooses?  But they were held in high regard and respected.  But for the most part, they were meant to say hey, let the moose…let them live their lives, please, was the majority of reasonable adults and children and the policy.  They said hey, let the mooses live their lives, please.  Now, that didn’t work out in a good way for Glisten, because what Glisten would do then is go to farmsteads and just stand around, hoping and…kinda look tough or push stuff or maybe push a log.

 

But alls the people would do is appreciate it or look at it in a forlorn way, like oh boy, that looks like a powerful moose.  But I just wanted that moose to be free to play like it’s playing now.  I couldn’t use it as a working animal because it’s a moose and it wouldn’t want that.  It just wants…out there, push that log around in front of us like it’s putting on a show.  Glisten got better and better at it because of…it was like, these people are watching me.  What the heck do I gotta do to get a job being a…working on this farm?  I can out-pull…I can do everything those oxes can do, or that horse can, no offense.  Maybe the farm’s big enough for both of us or all of us.  But it just didn’t happen.  But Glisten was not a quitter.  Mooses don’t quit.  I think you probably heard that before.  So, don’t quit on the mooses, either.

 

But so, Glisten was just traveling around, working Glisten’s way across the world or wherever…the areas it was in.  Now, meanwhile, at this point, Glisten’s got a plush sentient purple porpoise in its rack, we’ll say.  It’s moving along in the sun and heading further and further along.  At some point, the sunlight and the magical sleep wears off the purple porpoise.  The purple porpoise’s name was Pridi.  Pridi the purple porpoise.  I just waited because this is a part of the story where Pridi will communicate, so that’s why I’m telling you now.  So, Pridi woke up and didn’t open their eyes because Pridi said oh boy, here it is, finally.  Must be…maybe I’m being carried around now by a child.  We’ve all done that, right?  We’ve kept our eyes closed even though we’re in the presence of something else and we feel excited.

 

Might be when Koa comes to check on me to see if I’m awake, or a child or a parent or a loved one or a roommate or whatever.  There’s times where you keep your eyes closed; you don’t want to open them yet even though you feel good.  Pridi was doing that and…said wait a second, I feel like a cool…well, maybe we’re outside already, playing.  Maybe I’m already part of some sort of play.  Pridi opened her eyes and she looked around.  She saw some muck, which is a positive…stuff that’s gathering in the bowl-like thing of a moose.  Then kinda saw the moose was lumbering along and knew something was not right.  Pridi said, what in the heck?  Where am I?  Glisten said, what the heck?  Is there somebody talking?

 

This could have been…we could do twenty minutes, but we don’t really need to, of the comedy duo-type situation where for a while Glisten thought…well, I guess we could do it.  I mean, just the summary was for a while, Pridi was still getting to know how she was gonna move, ‘cause she hadn’t planned on that.  She planned on being carried around by a child or saying well, this is your place.  So, she was kinda in the cup of the rack of the moose.  Meanwhile, Glisten was hearing this voice and thinking that this is…again, these are the levels of Hollywood glamorization that go on.  Oh, this is some sort of voice to help me.  Pridi kind of…this was all new to them, so they said okay, well…and then even…part of it, and this is something I can really relate to, was this is a child playing with me.

 

Maybe my expectations about a child were wrong.  So, that explains a lot of it as they were journeying.  Glisten said, who’s speaking?  It’s me, Pridi, the purple porpoise.  Glisten said, the purple porpoise?  Pridi said yeah, yeah.  I’m here with purpose, to be played with or to be your companion.  Glisten said oh, yeah, I’ve been…like on TV?  Then Glisten said…or Pridi said, what’s TV?  But whatever.  That went on for a while, but it’s just not super…they eventually discovered…because sooner or later, Glisten was gonna move or toss…do that glamorous tossing of moose hair, or dip its head to drink.  In this case, it wasn’t to drink; it was getting…it was doing some practice.  Every day, Glisten would practice at all this stuff.  So, log-pushing, log-tossing.

 

If Glisten ever found any rope or vines, it would practice putting on a harness, grabbing stuff with its mouth and dragging it, digging with its hooves.  So, it went to kinda move a log and that’s when Pridi fell out.  It said oh, hey, what?  They said yeah, no, it’s me, purple…oh, okay.  Then it said oh, wow, so you’re real.  I thought you were just a voice that’s helping me find…but that’s when Pridi said oh, so your purpose is to find…they started to feel the forlorn feelings together, even though they were different forlorn feelings.  Glisten wanted to be a working moose, but also its expectations were based on TV.  Pridi wanted to be a toy in the arms of a child or playing with as a child, as imagined through the eyes of a narwhal visiting the North Pole warehouses.

 

Pridi said well, I wonder if we could find something together, ‘cause they would stop and watch TV.  Then they said well, some of these…Little House on the Prairie.  There’s kids that live there.  If we could only find the Little House on the Prairie, we could…and that’s really what they set out to do.  I think that was just one of the shows they really got into for a while.  I think two or three towns they stayed in for years and just…until they changed, whatever, the programming time.  They said okay, no more Little House on the Prairie.  They’re all grown up; it’s no longer…whatever.  But at the time, they were…they said wow, we gotta find that Little House on the Prairie, because they…it looks like they got kids there, they got farm work there, they got Michael Landon.

 

They also were confused because it was like a rod…of repeats they were watch…they say, that’s also an angel.  So, it was…but whatever, that was their mission; find the Little House on the Prairie.  But at the time, well one, we all know…some of you are like, what’s the Little House on the Prairie?  Well, it’s a little house on a prairie.  Been on books and a TV show.  The reboot will probably be out in the next year or two.  I don’t know which streaming services bought it, but I can…if not, send a check my way; 10%.  You don’t even need to include me, but it’d be nice if I could get 10% of something.  Oh, who would I cast?  I don’t know, because I’m in the middle of a story here, but…who would I cast?  I got no idea.  But it’s probably already in production or pre-production.

 

If not, really go for it and get the rights, because if you’re gonna reboot…if you’re gonna make movies about…whatever, peeps, you might as well…why aren’t you rebooting Little House on the Prairie?  Maybe there’s some reason; I say oh boy, okay, that’s why.  But so, they were in search of this Little House on the Prairie.  Little house on a prairie; full of nice people that were active and liked…would love to have a purple porpoise and a useful moose in their lives.  Also didn’t necessarily exist in the world we’re in; it was a piece of fiction.  But here’s the thing, as they were traveling and looking, they were talking, getting to know one another.  Somehow…and you forget this, because I think this mechanism exists in each one of us, but it’s so easy to forget or so easy to turn the volume down on.

 

That’s sometimes why we find out…someone tells me these tales as a reminder that there’s a mechanism of self-care that’s built in there if you just listen.  These two, they might not have known they were looking for the wrong Little House on the Prairie, but what they did get to talk and was…what they dreamed of, and what you dream of and what you get are always a little bit different, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be an all-or-nothing situation.  These two said, okay.  They actually got down to pretty much the thing; they say well, what do you really want, Pridi?  Because first, they would have strong feelings.  Those are the forlorn and the deep, sad times at night when they were sitting there sleeping together.  But then as they were there for one another and they just listen and said wow, that sounds real tough, Pridi.

 

Wow, I can understand why you’d be so upset, Glisten.  They said well, wait a second, so what do you really want, Pridi?  Well, I want to be played with.  I want to be a toy that brings joy.  Glisten said okay, I think I could figure out…what do you want, Glisten?  Well, I want to be a working moose.  I want to be…I don’t want to be a beast…but that’s what they call it, a beast of burden.  Pridi said well, sometimes they said that I’m a purple porpoise with purpose.  But if I need to be played with, you would be a working moose…if you played with me, you would be a working moose.  They said okay, I think this is it.  As they were on their journey to get what they wanted…it’s weird because there’s a beast of burden song and they were getting what they needed, which is another song.  That’s a total accident.

 

But they were out there and they got what they…they found not just self-care but care for one another, but also making the most of things.  So, Glisten would start throwing Pridi up in the air and then catching Pridi in the other horn or whatever; antler.  Pridi was developing…again, beyond our understanding, but some sort of magical skeletal system or something.  So, they got good at stuff and then Pridi could direct Glisten and they would make forts, or you could throw…they saw a basketball thing, so then Glisten was playing…kinda shooting hoops with Pridi.  Pridi’s a stuffed plush, and even then, a couple times, Pridi landed on the wrong side of the log.  Glisten was very, very adept with his teeth, so they learned to sew.  But a lot of it was throwing Pridi up in the air.  Then eventually they saw some juggling stuff.

 

Glisten could throw a log and Pridi and everything, and this is when time…sometimes things work out in a different way.  They were out there, out in the middle…I don’t know, not a total frozen tundra, but some place where it’s cold a lot of the time.  They had been wandering and they came across a lone house, a little house.  It wasn’t exactly on a prairie, but maybe it…’cause you say well, that’s a little too far south.  But you could say it was a prairie, ‘cause they said is that the Little House on the Prairie?  At this point, unfortunately, they had done all that, but they had also gone to a bunch of farms and stuff, and Glisten still hadn’t gotten any work, and Pridi was looking pretty…she was a plush that had lived in the antler of a moose for a few years, even though fully-repaired and functioning, she was less of a purple porpoise.

 

So, children weren’t…they never identified it as a plush in the antlers of the moose when Glisten would put on shows to try to get a job, which was impossible to get because people…they said well…you know what I mean.  It was just a little bit of a…so, they were both a little bit down, so down in fact that they got outside of this…they got outside just as the sun was setting.  They were standing against the western sky in front of the windows of this house, and they could see a couple in the house.  They could see the light coming from this little house on this prairie.  They could see the couple in there moving around and watching them and appreciating them.  Unfortunately, Pridi said well, why don’t you get to…there’s some stuff in this…wherever this is.  Move that stuff; some logs.

 

It looks like they were chopping wood.  They’re watching us.  It’s showtime.  Glisten said, I don’t think we’re ever…I think we’re…I don’t think we’re gonna…I’m never gonna be a beast of burden.  This is something that happened before and before, but they said okay, well, maybe you’re right this time, and I don’t see any kids to play with me, either.  So, first they were down, but then they said well, let’s play then, ‘cause…and then tomorrow we’ll figure out what our new purpose is.  Maybe we…maybe tonight’s the night.  You’re right, Glisten.  We’ve been on the wrong quest.  Maybe this is our last Little House on the Prairie.  Tomorrow we try to figure out what we should do next.  But let’s play Toss Pridi.

 

Glisten said okay, and then Pridi said I bet you can’t toss me over the…they got…and run…’cause they had clotheslines.  They didn’t know what they were called, but…do you think you could toss me over it and then run under it and catch me?  Dare you.  Who cares what those humans think, anyway?  So, they started doing that.  Glisten would toss Pridi and run under the clotheslines and catch Pridi.  Then Glisten started juggling Pridi with some big logs.  Glisten was doing other stuff; hopping up on two feet and then juggling Pridi with his top clompers or whatever, putting on the whole show.  But what they didn’t know was the two people whose names I forgot that had founded the Purple People Circus were the two people in this little house on this prairie.

 

Now, they weren’t farmers and they weren’t parents that I know of, and I forgot their names.  I know they had cool names and I know they’re cool people.  That’s all that matters…is they were sitting there, and they had been just at the end of a break from the Purple People Circus where they took a break from performing and putting on shows.  They had kinda…they had lost a little bit of the magic because things had changed in the world, and they couldn’t put on any more shows.  They wondered themselves if there was room…they had been there on a sabbatical.  It’s just the two of them for a while, a couple…whatever.  You know, you…so, they were there but they had gotten…this was right at the end of their sabbatical, was that I guess…I don’t know what we should do.  Should we go back?

 

Should we get the performers we keep in touch with back together?  They said well, we’re here…what’s our purpose?  The Purple People Circus is to bring joy and excitement and the joy of performing and the joy of being a part of a performance, and the joy of viewing a performance and of being surprised.  The keystone of the Purple People Circus is unexpected…like that cat that break-dances or whatever, and that’s…Phil Fushigi and all that.  They had just had this discussion, and then they had spent some time cooking dinner.  Then they made their dinner and ate their dinner, and so they were really basking in the glow of this firelight.  They were having some tea and just looking out at the sunset on this prairie.  Beautiful snowy…it wasn’t a prairie, but for this situation.

 

That’s when they saw this beautiful moose come into their yard.  They said, that’s one big, beautiful moose.  Wow.  Regal.  But the moose looks a little sad.  Well, isn’t it interesting how we project our feelings onto animals?  Looks like the moose is looking right at us, waiting for us or thinking about us.  Talk about unexpected things.  Then the moose started to toss something in the air and catch it.  If this was a different era, they would have filmed it on their phone and got four million views.  But no, this was one of the things they were looking for.  Then they said, what is that the moose is…?  Then they said wait a second, it’s a…is that a stuffed bunny?  No, no, no.  Looks like a fish.  Wait a second.

 

Then when the moose stopped and it looked like the…they said…and they had learned; they had been…they knew about sentient non-human beings, so they opened their door and they said hey, hey, that’s quite a show.  They clapped and smiled.  That was also one of their tests, to say well, is this sentient non-human being…want to engage with me?  We’ll offer it the opportunity but not force it to engage with us.  Meanwhile, Pridi and Glisten were like, wait a second, they were watching us.  They liked that.  Feels as good as…it feels like they played with us.  Doesn’t that feel good?  We met our purposes?  Glisten said oh, it does feel good.  Let’s get a little closer.  Then they said, can we get closer?  They said come on, closer.  They said, that was a show you put on there.

 

The next thing you knew, of course you can infer what happened next; slow trust-building exercise unfolded.  They won one another’s trust and then they explained to them what a circus was and what performing was.  Now you know.  You’ve probably seen Pridi in the arms of children everywhere.  That purple porpoise with purpose, Pridi.  That became…there wasn’t…there’s not just one Pridi in the world.  Now there’s one in the arms of so many children.  But they still perform; Glisten, Pridi performing as part of the Purple People Circus, the legendary juggling moose and its best friend, Pridi.  Also a comedy team.

 

They say, how is a moose and a…how do they do…what kind of ventriloquism is it?  No one knows.  But they both kinda got what they were looking for in a different way, and they became part of a family and a community.  So, yeah.  I guess that’s the end of the story.  It’s certainly one of my favorite ones I’ve ever heard, the story of Pridi the purple porpoise with purpose and Glisten the moose.  Thanks and goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)

Notable Language:

• Repeating RePete
• Sea-Based Plush (SBP)
• Beast of Burden

Notable Culture:

• Aly and AJ
• Northern Exposure
• “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” – Rolling Stones

Notable Talking Points:

• Oh, so I just lie here and barely pay attention?
• Because of your structure, you will be played with
• Seeing the big, beautiful moose