1029 – Great British Bake Off Holiday
Briony, Terry, Tom, and Yan, bake holiday dreamland.
- Fond Christian Memory (FCM)
- Buttercream Binds
- Beauty and the Beast
- Elvis Presley
- Alice Cooper
Notable Talking Points:
- Give more meaning to morass
- I wish I could channel Noel’s ability to be that free and easy
- A mountain of confectionery to climb
Episode 1029 – Great British Bake Off Holiday
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. So happy to be here. My friends, my bakers, any candlestick makers…actually, no…I think I know a candlestick maker. I always think of a can…here’s the thing; here’s…I gotta apologize for an assumption. Every time I’ve sent…said candlestick maker up until this point, I’ve always made the assumption in my mind…I was picturing a candle maker. So, to all the candlestick makers out there, holy cow, I’m so sorry, and hopefully I can help you with this sleepless night. Candlestick maker or not, I’m here to help. It’s time for the podcast, patrons. Thank you so much, patrons, for being a supporter of the show, for making it all possible. You make the candlesticks that stir the drink. You’re the candlestick maker that makes the candlestick that stirs the drink. Wait, maybe it is candlestick maker. What do you think, patrons? What do you say we get on with the show?
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind, things you’re thinking about, could be feelings coming up for you about the past, the present, the future, feelings that are just there. It could be physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine, travel. Did I say that? You could have guests. Holy…you could be a guest or you could have guests coming.
Believe me, for the majority of the time, when you’re a guest, you’re not singing or hearing…you’re not…I guess you wouldn’t be…how come there’s not a song; Being a Guest? It has this right amount of syllables, right? I mean, I’m sure there’s parody musicals of that. But you could say being a guest, putting your stuff to the test. I guess currently it could be a musical about how things…the increase…anyway, gotta change the subject now. Whatever is keeping you awake, I’d like to keep you company and take your mind off of it so that you could fall asleep or at least feel a little bit less lonely there. What I’ll do or what I propose to do is to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.
You’ll be my guest, and I won’t…you won’t have to worry about me being your guest, which I’ll…maybe I can explain or misexplain as I do things. You say, does Scoots ever mansplain on his podcast? You say no, he mostly desplains stuff. He takes a reasonable explanation, pours gobs of exposition on there, forgets what he was going to explain, then tries to deconstruct his explanation, and then sometimes he takes calls from imaginary things with…inside of his mind. Then he says wait a second, I gotta get back to the introduction of the sleep podcast. So, that’s a pointless meander. Could be a superfluous tangent. But if you’re new or you’re a regular listener, welcome home. I’m glad you’re here.
I think you should say to yourself ‘welcome home’ wherever you are, ‘cause I’m not really welcoming you in as so much as a reminder. The most important reminder is that you deserve a good night’s sleep. You really do. You deserve a bedtime you could look forward to, a bedtime routine that feels good, and a safe place to relax in. I can try to be a part of that for you. That’s really my goal, and that’s the most important thing I’m gonna tell you, because it gives me purpose trying to help with that, because if you do get that, if you do have a bedtime you feel neutral about at least that you don’t dread like I have so many times in my past, and then you get a routine and you start to get some rest, your life becomes more manageable.
It can improve, and that’s what life’s all about. For me, if I can help with that…because the other side of it is I know how it feels. You’re important and I also know how it feels to have that rigmarole at bedtime. So, that’s why it’s important to me, so I hope I can help. Now, there is a caveat there which is that this podcast just doesn’t work for everybody. I’m not everybody’s up…I’m not up to everybody’s taste. I’m not everybody’s style, and this particular style of show, even though it’s built in a very intentional way, it just doesn’t work for everybody. Totally understandable, right? But with Sleep With Me, there’s actually an additional…a caveat within a caveat. Isn’t there something called…that sounds like a caveat? Not a cape. Isn’t there a piece of clothing that sounds a little bit like a caveat?
Could I put a caveat within a caveat within my vest which I’m calling…? It’s a caveat vest. What do you mean? Well, I can’t put it on until I put…it’s weird; I gotta put another vest on first so I can put this on underneath it. Also, I have to stand on one foot, otherwise the vest…that’s the only way I can get it on. I don’t know, it doesn’t make any sense to me, either. I traded three magic beans for these…this caveat vest, and then someone cackled and rode off into the sunset, or the…this rising moon. But so, the…a caveat within a caveat for Sleep With Me is that it does take a few tries to get used to. This is what tons and tons of listeners said; yeah, when I first got here, I was skeptical. I was doubtful this podcast would work. I didn’t like Scooter’s voice, I didn’t like his manner, I didn’t understand what was going on.
Those are understandable feelings to have about this show. But then after listening two or three times, I realized oh, okay; now I don’t…now I get that…I don’t get it. I get the fact that it’s incomprehensible, that he is the kind of person that would buy…you say, wait a second…I mean, wouldn’t you buy that, though? You say, wait a second, so this caveat vest, tell me about it again. I put a vest on, then I put the caveat vest on underneath it while I have to stand on one foot. I say yeah, it’s beyond our…you say Scoots, you’ve struggled with these things beyond your understanding, but this you’ll go for? The great goddess, the creator, she just is like, what do I gotta do here? Come on. So, anyway, so…okay, what was I gonna do? Oh, so…oh, give it a few tries if you can.
If you already dislike me and the show, there’s also a website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It has plenty of other sleep audio and other sleep stuff to check out so that you can find something that does work for you. Because whether or not you loathe me or you like me or you say well, I will give you a few tries, you still deserve a good night’s sleep. So, that’s that. The other thing that can throw people off a lot is the…a couple things about the show. One, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just kinda barely listen, just like background noise. I mean, I think you could figure that out already. You say uh-huh, okay. Does he know what…? You may be looking at someone nearby and you say, I don’t think he knows what caveat even means, just like Mandy Patinkin once said.
It could be…you could be right. I mean, I’d be willing to give…you know who I’d give the benefit of the doubt to, even if it was me and Mandy Patinkin? I’d say for sure, Mandy. Oh, sorry; Mr. Patinkin. So, okay, so…oh, it’s a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just kinda…kinda like a TV on in the other room or…it is like that ‘be your guest’ thing in the sense…I’m here to talk to you and keep you company while you fall asleep, but you don’t have to welcome me or pay attention to me. I’m a guest that comes over that you don’t have to clean up after, you don’t have to entertain, and you don’t even have to pretend you’re engaging with me. You just go uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, go ahead and keep talking, Scoots. I’ll be lying here not barely paying attention to you.
But the thing is, if you can’t sleep for some reason or you got a type of insomnia where you can’t sleep or you’re having a stressful day, I’m here to keep you company whether you’re listening or not. That’s kinda one of the thing that works about the show. I’m here for you to listen to so you don’t have to listen to me. That’s why I have a caveat vest. What about this for…here’s the thing, anybody producing TV shows that have no chance of success; Undercover Caveat. You say, I don’t even know what that means, but I’ve already canceled it. You say, I don’t know what that means, but I’ve already not renewed your contract. Undercover Caveat; it’s confusing…even to the confused, it’s confusing. That was a…the prequel; Caveat Undercover. Caveat Undercover: The Teen Years.
That’s even…Caveat Undercover: Grammar School Edition. Oh boy, sometimes I have to entertain just myself. That’s really it. That’s why you could just barely listen to me. The other thing is this podcast really doesn’t put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company while you drift off. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bud, your bore-bruh, your bore-bor, your neighbor. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, so to keep you company versus talking you to sleep. You could fall asleep while I talk, but I’m not talking you to sleep. I’m just here to take your mind off of stuff. Other things you need to know whether you’re a new listener or a regular listener is the structure of the show really can chuff some people.
Understandably, but that’s why I explain it every time, too. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, as a reminder to the regular listener and as a welcome to the new listener so you feel seen, you feel invited in. Sometimes I say something silly because…so you say oh, okay, this is a silly thing I’m getting invited in to check out. Then there’s support; there’s support for the show, there’s support for the listeners, and there’s support for the communities around the show. The support is so that the podcast…the goal…my goal of the podcast is that it comes out twice a week, the episodes are ideally over an hour, we have plenty of episodes in the feed for free so that you can listen to a bunch of episodes if you need to, and that it’s available on all platforms.
The sponsors and the patrons enable us to do that. Then there’s support for you if you’re having a tough time or if you want to be more engaged in your community. Then there’s the intro which is separate from the support, and the intro goes on and on and on for twelve to twenty minutes. It’s a show within a show and it’s supposed to kinda ideally introduce the podcast over and over again so that a new person says oh, I get the idea; this podcast is incomprehensible morass and Scoots gives new meaning to the word morass. I’d say, I don’t think I can actually give more meaning to it. I can only be a shining example of morass. You say, it’s morass. I’d say well, like I said, I’m a shining example of whatever it…I’m knee-deep in it. I never thought I’d be say…I never realized really…I’m not kidding; I didn’t even set that joke up.
It was already in my own morass when I said…oh, wait a second, yeah. So, now I’m caught in this. But so…oh, the intro…oh, so you realize oh, that it goes on and on and on. But the intro also serves another purpose. The reason it’s a show within a show is that it’s supposed to serve as a transition between not bedtime and sleep time. So, as your wind-down routine, as some twilight time whether you’re getting ready for bed, you’re doing something relaxing, or you’re in bed starting to unwind. For most of us, that’s an essential part, is having that time to ease you into bed and off to dreamland.
So, the intro serves that purpose, and you can adjust; there’s tons of people that listen to story-only episodes on Patreon, there’s 2% or 3% of people that skip ahead to thirty minutes, but there’s also people that listen all night or people that set their sleep timers for thirty minutes, forty-five minutes, sixty minutes, and all those numbers in between. So, at first just kinda see how it goes and then adjust from there. Then after the intro is more support, again, so the show…twice a week for free everywhere you want to listen to it. Then there will be a story. Tonight it’ll be our holiday edition of Great British Bake Off, so that’ll be fun. We’ll look at a holiday special from the Great British Bake Off. It’ll be relaxing, meandering, I’ll get mixed up, I’ll probably get people mixed up and foods, and then there’s some thank-yous at the end.
So, that’s the structure of the show. I make the show so hopefully it can help you or keep you company. So, if you can’t sleep, I’m here, and if you can, I’m here, too. But I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for stepping over my morass, and…I feel like I should be doing a dance when I say that, if you know what I mean, doing a little shakety…shaking my tail feather even though I know…I realized…I didn’t even realize that. But so, I’m glad you’re here. I appreciate your time. I really hope, I really yearn and I strive that I can help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here. This might be the first Great British Bake Off episode you’re hearing in a while. It’s actually…I’ve been recording one of the seasons that two people on this show are from. I will try not to do any spoilers, but actually, the season I’m covering is before…the season before the season I already did. So, that may be unavoidable. But this is one of the Great British Bake Off…the great Christmas baking show. I don’t know what other information…I’m watching on Netflix. I’ll probably have some of the information on there. But it has Terry and Briony from the season I covered last year, and then Yan and Tom from the season I’ll be covering coming up in 2022, but I wanted to do this one ‘cause it’s seasonal and it’s fun. Also, I think it’s a little bit looser.
There’s just four bakers and because it’s a holiday special, it did seem a little bit looser and a little bit more fun. They got to hand-pick some…in my opinion, fan favorites. Maybe not the fan favorite, because those people might not even have been available. But some people…one…I mean, very…but yeah, some people we cared for greatly. So, yeah. I don’t know if I had a point in there, but…so, let’s see. Let’s start with my handwriting. Through…EGO through new opine bowl’s eye. So, I don’t know…BGO…oh, go through the new opening. Okay, so we’ll do that when we roll the tape. Coats, garland, trees, love. Good luck everyone. Team Xmas. Something special with an S. See something special? Sesame special? Seasonal special, probably, or season special. It was good alliteration. Tom, Yan, Terry, Briony.
Hello. Pastry perfect. Briony…they do a Briony recap with tears. Great ham. No, that’s not right. Fellow 2018 baker Terry. Patriotic in a pear. Truce…Eiffel Tower…down. Tom, architect from 2017, looks like he just got a sharp little haircut, or maybe they mention that. His roses were featured that really turned out well, and his nemesis caramel. Then we have a final festive baker, another great alliteration. Yeah, and Yan-tastic. I don’t know if that was said or I just said…oh yeah, it says – Scooter. That’s how I feel about Yan; she’s Yan-tastic and fantastic. Welcome back. You need to do twenty-four cape…cake pops. I said K-pops or cake pops? How about somebody does some K-pop cake pops? I’m sure somebody has because…and that would give you a lot of options, just you and I and…is that the one that…?
Yeah, I think that’s the one. Of course, you’re gonna use butter in them, so…those are just songs that are popular when I’m recording this. Butter’s a few months old, but…cakey-pops is what Noel calls them. What, are you four? Two and a half hours. Tom…ton…Terry’s…oven on. Good fun, Prue says. Looks cool, cozy, classy. Oh, Prue looks cool, cozy, and classy. I guess that’s my own alliteration. Trouble with timing. Outside lights…Briony did lots of practicing. Cakes on sticks, basically. Cake cooling and cooling. Cooking and cooling. Terry; all-in-one sponge. Terry’s using a all-in-one sponge. Briony is, too; she’s using a Victorians…Victoria sponge. Gracious-like pops. Christmas-like pops. Christmas cake pops. Some sponge or…some sponge. Prue looks…festive frolic. How will you go…squirrel…putting up flavor. Pushing up flavor?
Eggnog. Custard on a lolly. That does sound good to me, too. I don’t know how he pulled it off, though. Also, I never knew how cake pops were made, ‘cause I said how the heck do they get the cake on the stick? But it ends up, it’s not just a cake pop; it’s a cake and frosting pop dipped in something. Tom; four times baking…he’s making four different sponges, so he has to bake all four. Santa and company. Paul says humbug. Muffin tins…Sandi and Yan…she’s so proud of her. She says jeez, how many papers have you had published? Everything starts going in the oven. Tom; second batch of sponges. One sponge bakes. Yan; orange flavors…orange gloves she’s wearing. Yan da fond…Christian memory. Is that right? Fond Christian memory. Ten…oh, Christmas memory.
She had…somebody gave her ten liquor chocolates when she was a little kid, or when she was ten she got liquor chocolates and nobody realized it. Festive flavor, little gingerbread…Briony playing well. Fire chili. Terry; Christmas carousel. Carousel of cake pops. Will Terry be on time? To hold shapes, cool sponges. Yan; trays in the freezer already cooling. That’s the least…that…but for Tom, that’s the least of his problems. He’s still gotta make more cake as fast as he can. Noel is not…Sandi says dude, what are you wearing? Which we’ll describe, because you’re not Christmassy enough. Terry; tiny stuff. Not knowing the time. Oh, him and…there’s some good dialogue there we’ll cover. Body clock…Noel crocking? Cracking up.
Oh, he cracks Noel up when they talk about time and the meaning of time. I really wish I could channel Noel’s ability to…I mean, I don’t know how much of his performance or what…it’s like, why can’t I be at that kind of free ease? Like, I kinda have that free ease on the podcast, but interpersonally I do not, where you just walk up and you say wow, it looks like you’re working on this. Makes me think of this. I don’t know; how do you feel…? I guess…though it is more performative ‘cause you’re not really…I don’t know. I’ll have to watch more episodes. Stress catch-up. Tom; stress catch-up. Paul watching Terry. Buttercream binds like Play-Doh. That’s what I learned. Oh, the buttercream is what binds the cake pops together. Elf and safety…mold…painstaking.
Rolling balls…reindeer, pigs, penguins dipped in chocolate. Noel cracking up. Yan or Tom? Tom. That’s a T. With my handwriting, Y-A-N and T-O-M look kinda similar. Things falling apart. Ten minutes. Plates are hard. Plates on hand? Looking good. Snow globes…seven years art school for this. Rudolph…the penguins…one minute left. Final stages. Terry only has twenty-two. Tom; only ten. Cake pops…complete riot. Horrified. Then we have the judging. Tom; penguins were nice. Lovely flavor. Peanut butter good. Well-baked. Executed poorly or not at all. Yan; quick…quite cute. Not neatest. Getting the coffee, the ginger. Lovely. I like that. Tastes good. Glitter on your lips, Paul. Looks good. That’s like…that must…I’m surprised that’s not a pop song; Glitter on your Lips.
Then you say okay, let’s just…yeah, like glitter from eating a cake pop. Terry; Simpsons…oh, there’s this…so, this was important to me to point out. I figured I would forget it even when I wrote it down. This is a stretch; this is a deep cut, as they say. So, when Terry…at this point in the episode, when they’re judging Terry’s cake pops, the music that is playing is the same music that plays in the queue for the Simpson’s ride in Universal Studios. I’m not sure exactly when it plays, either in between…when you’re in the indoor queue while you’re waiting to go into your room or in between when the characters are talking or when you’re either in your room or you’re in your car and there’s down-time, there’s a loop, an extra loop…music loop that plays just so there’s some music playing in between the things.
Like, if they say oh, it’s running a little slower, this music loop will just keep playing, and it’s that same music. I can hear it in my head right now. I can’t make it…I can’t translate. Twenty-two, a couple short. Talks unravel and were…that’s unusual. Oh, that you came up short. I have a dog. Baked custard…nice crack but a bit rough and ready. Have a dog? That’s unusual in word. Briony; cracks…more ghee. Pleasant, very good. Don’t worry, we’ll roll the tape. We’ll get more clear stuff here. Talking heads…Yan jokes. Technical…chalking by Paul. Watch turning…watch your timing. Merry Christmas, like Scrooge is in the room. A festive sausage wreath. Neat and even and flaky. Cranberry served in the middle…cranberry sauce in the middle. Two hours. Paul and Prue; they’re in this nice holiday room.
They’re making a cheap puff pastry. Dehours…Terry; quite like pastries. Chef talk…Pastry Week. Buttery, flaky…oh, they all talk about Pastry Week. Keep butter cold is the key. The all-important lamination. I would have no idea what lamination was except for watching Great British Bake Off, especially Yan and Tom’s season. There’s a lot of lamina…a whole lot of lamination going on, as Elvis did not sing…Elvis would have sang that. If Elvis was familiar with lamination, I can guarantee you, especially later Elvis, he’d say there’s a whole lot of lamination going on if…or if there isn’t, then you’re not…you’re probably gonna be not in good shape. Layers getting folded…in the fridge. Cheat’s puff pastry. Briony cuts up onions, talks about having a good cry. Under something…under, under…won’t cry.
Garlic…Noel talks about…just don’t make…get any garlic out, ‘cause you know me; I’m a goth. Black pudding…twice is mince. Tom only once. Oh, twice through the mincer or the grinder. Sage and mace. I worked with a couple people with the name of Mace. Great, great…time to chestnut wrap. Time to construct the wreath. Roll out…put some Dijon on there. Sandi has a fake bird on her shoulder. Egg wash…lots of malts. Lots of math…maths to figure out where to cut the wreath so it can go in a circle. Terry has a nice sequence here where he’s very Terry. He forgets to twist the wreath, then he takes it, then he forgets something else. Will it control…? Terry, he also forgot the sesame seeds. Noel; a little sleeping bag that he made for Sandi, which is just a thing for…what’s that stuff called? Cutlery. Like, a napkin-holder.
Cranberry sauce…part European drinks. Port…oh, port; everyone drinks port. So, like I said, it’s a bit looser. Ten meters. Yan; you can do this. When to take it out? Come on. Briony’s is out. Yan; no soggy bottom. One minute left. Robacon it in. Terry a mess. What does that say? Ray…R-E-A-B-E-I-N. Reabein. Reabein it in. That’s interesting. Reclaim it? Recake it in? I can’t think of any character…or so, there’s not Tom, Terry…that’s not Briony. Let’s see, so then they do their judging. Tom; nice pallor. Sherry, glucose…lovely…none of this is right. It’s funny though. Nice pallor. Sherry, glucose…lovely color. Balance good. Nice flavor. Yan; nice color, very flaky. A bit dry. Barbecue is good. Okay, I don’t know what that line…faber…barber? Briony; under-baked, not cooked. Strange or something.
Something else. Terry; last possible level. More short crust. Delicious, but it’s not a puff pastry. Lorde. It looks like I…Lorde the singer with an e at the end. So, fourth place; Briony. Third place; Terry, but only because it tasted good even though it was the wrong thing. Second place; Yan. First place; Tom. Talking heads. Finally, Tom says. Happy Tom. Briony cracks up. Go to…she’s gonna go double…H-E double hockey sticks for leather. So, that’s the first half of the episode. Let’s run it on the tape here. I should say that there’s a lot of nice music in the background, holiday music, and great set dressings. So yeah, so it starts off with cakes getting decorated, some stars, some gingerbread people are getting baked. There’s some recipes. There’s a kid eating.
There’s snow going on these star puffs, then a cake, then people walking into the tent. Looks like only three people, though. Now there’s four. Everybody’s dressed somewhat festively. Yan has what could…a t-shirt that could either be considered Kermit the Frog or an elf. We run through the teaser, you know, where everybody’s working. We see…oh no, this is Briony’s history, so they run through Briony’s whole history on the show. Hugs…I’d like to win. It’d be nice. I just want to have a good time. Then we see Terry with Marie Antoinette. Terry’s excited to be back. He impressed the judges with the selfie biscuit. Terry’s like oh boy, got some demons to get out of the system. Also is a architect, Tom. He loves Christmas. Can’t wait to start. He’s very animated. We see his roses that were exquisite.
They talk caramel and Prue. Tom’s always smiling, though. He says okay, this is gonna be good. Then we have Yan. 2017, research scientist. She’s like, it’s weird being back in the tent. A bit nervous. We see some of her highlights and some things that they weren’t so happy about, some really cool stuff. Which returning baker will get their Christmas…be a Yule Tide winner? Sandi welcomes everybody back. She’s wearing a orange star shirt, and then Noel has a sweater that’s like, three…everybody’s dressed…everybody has a sweater, I guess. Let’s see. Let me get a whole staff shot, here. Yeah, all of the judges and the talent have…okay, here…oh, I missed that one. Oh, there we go. Okay, so, Paul’s the furthest on the left. He has his hands in his pockets and he’s got jeans on.
He has a sweater with a woofy-poo on there. But it’s also striped, so it has grey, white stripe, a sky blue stripe, dark-grey stripe, and then another grey. Then…now, I think that’s all he has on, is just a sweater. I never am able to do…no, I guess I do see a undershirt. I don’t know. I’m not a big…I don’t like sweater…the feeling of sweaters against my body for some reason. So, I mean, I like to have a little bit of a layer, plus I’m a person that perspires. So then, Prue has on…so first, I would say Tom’s not a holiday sweater. Maybe winter themed. Then Prue, definitely not, but it’s a cute sweater. Hers is blue. It has flowers, stars, and a heart on it, and then she’s got a…her…a necklace that’s got stars; blue, yellow, and red. I would imagine…this is just projection, but I say maybe Prue raises…I don’t know.
Her sweater almost says…making some kind of subtle statement. Like, is this funding a non-profit? Now, Noel has on a three…a sweater. It’s very long. It goes below his waist which is his kinda style, a oversized sweater, I guess. It’s got three levels to it; a top one which is fuchsia. That’s the first time I think I’ve ever used fuchsia correctly. It may have a neck that’s black, then it has a yellow leopard print, yellow and black leopard, then it has a black stripe. Sandi has on an orange sweater with a shooting star on it. She has black pants and then a black collared shirt underneath her sweater. Hers is more of a sweatshirt, which I’d be more…me…I’m like Sandi; I’d be more comfortable wearing that. It says something on it, maybe. I can’t quite make it out. They’re cracking jokes.
Cake pops, four different designs, different colors, two-and-a-half hours. On your mark, get set, bake. Everybody goes to action. Oh, Terry can’t get his oven on, so Tom helps him. Merry Christmas signature. Make some cake pops. Now Prue’s in a jacket and…a beautiful pink coat, not a jacket, with a neck wrap. I guess a scarf. I wouldn’t say a scarf, though. I’d say something else. Two-and-a-half hours. It’d be amazing if the bakers finish. Briony kind of has practiced so much that’s she’s gotten cake pops down now. What takes the most time? Cake cooling and…cooling and cooking. Cooking then cooling. Most people are doing a all-in-one sponge and then flavoring it or flavoring frostings. Expediency. So, they go to Briony first.
She has on a Santa shirt or a Santa dress…Santa Claus, and then a nice velour or velvet jacket sweatshirt. Oh, actually, you could have used that to…festive frolic pops are her pops. If you wanted to check the edits, continuity, you could see when Briony has a sweatshirt on and when she doesn’t. They talk about wild squirrels, then we go to Yan. Terry is doing some sort of eggnog…pre-made eggnog liquor. Custard on a lolly. Tom…they go to Tom. He has a jean shirt on, or a denim shirt, collarless. But he has red pants on, or maroon pants, so that’s festive. Santa and company watch the Queen’s Speech…is his…it’d be different characters; elves, reindeer, penguins, snow people watching the Queen’s Speech. It’s Christmas, exactly. Hungbug…humbug, Tom…or Paul says. Sandi rolls up on Yan.
She’s happy…oh, so Yan’s baking her cakes in cupcake tins, I think. Oh, J-U-B is what it says on…or joy. I guess that’s probably what it says, joy. Okay, so everybody’s making their buttercream icing, gingerbread syrup, buttercream, Christmas pudding liqueur, cake pops…oh yeah, Yan talks about Christmas liqueur when she was only ten. A very Christmas Christmas pops. Ginger chocolate latte, chocolate orange, a couple other ones. Chocolate mint, chocolate hazelnut. As a kid, I didn’t like coffee, but a latte gingerbread sounds better. So, they say great chili chocolate, Briony. She’s making a little bit of a kick. Terry’s playing devil’s advocate. It looked like it said advocate on his bottle. Maybe that’s the kind of eggnog? I have no idea. Spiced eggnog, liquored eggnog? They joke with Terry about his timing.
Baker’s cake pops; can they hold their shape? Mix it in with buttercream, cool the sponges. The quicker the sponges can get cooled, the more time you have for decorating. Spread it out. Put it in the oven. Tom’s still got way more. He’s behind schedule. Noel goes to try to change to be more Christmassy. He puts on a elf hat. You can’t…she goes, I don’t see anything. Okay, then everybody’s trying to make their decorations. Really a lot of detail work here that’s impressive. I mean, Terry’s getting deep in the details. Then they’re talking about time and guessing time, body clock, being cave people, cracking Noel up. Tom’s sponges are all out of the oven. Get on schedule. Race against time to catch up. Where’s everybody else? Paul’s like…say Terry, are you gonna be on time? Holy cow. I’m impressed.
Buttercream binds. That’s one of my favorite pieces of alliteration, I think. Can’t mix it too soon, ‘cause the butter would melt and then it won’t stay together. But that’s where Terry says it’s like Play-Doh. One hour. Now Noel’s fully dressed like an elf. Elf and safety. Yule…oh, that’s what Sandi’s shirt says; yule. I can’t believe I missed that. Okay, so then people are starting to make their decorations, shape the cake pops. So, they’re not just simply round cake pops; trees, gingerbread people, and so much more, and make their coatings. Don’t let them fall off the stick. Speedy process. You gotta have the technique. Gotta have the talent. I’m here for fun. Silently patting your thumb. Oh, one of Terry’s fells…fell apart. Reindeer down. Ten minutes. Noel and Sandi have stuff on their heads.
Everybody’s adding texture, painting details. Tom’s penguin looks good. Briony’s gingerbread people look good. Snow globes look good. The penguins look great, watching the TV. Tom’s…or Terry’s snow people look good. Snowmen having…sod on, he says. Sticks…oh, Briony was using hollow straws, so hers are having trouble supporting the weight. This is gonna look like a panda. Glitter…Alice Cooper. A lot of spraying. I don’t know if the spray is…if they have a cooling spray too or if that’s some sort of…Christmas cracker from Briony. Baker, your time is up. Tom’s only got ten done. At the end of your workstation. Briony takes a hit of Christmas liquor. Complete riot, Tom says. Judges will be horrified. We see outside decoration shot, inside decoration shot. Then we go to the cake pops.
Santa and company watch the Queen’s Special. Why did I run out of time? I always do. Why didn’t you rein it in, Tom? Set my sights high. Gonna bite the penguin. These do look good. Very nice. Lovely chocolate and orange, chocolate and peanut butter, crystallized ginger. It’s balanced. Design’s good, just the execution. Yan they go to. She’s got some…they’re cute. Snow globe…that’s a gingerbread latte. You do get the coffee and the ginger. Then they take one of the trees. Lovely. Tastes good. Icing’s sweet. Cake is not sweet. I like that. Then she says, you got glitter on your chin, Paul. That cracks everybody up. Then Terry goes. His Christmas carousel overall design is impressive. It looks festive. Twenty-two; your cake pops short of a cake festival, Terry. Poor old Rudolph. Looks like a dog.
Eggnog comes through like a baked custard which Paul loves. Crack on the outside, but a bit rough and ready. Festive frolic pops from Briony. Celebration…you have Paul, Noel, Sandi. Sandi’s a little bit smaller which everybody gets a kick out of. Small enough. Then she didn’t even eat hers, though; she puts it down. I mean, I guess ‘cause the judge is supposed to eat it. I tried to use paper straws. They do the Christmas cracker. Prue wins. Try it meself. Hint of chili. Get the ginger. Could have done with more. Very pleasant, though. Fun. It’s a pleasure. Briony says jeez, it wasn’t as finished as I want to be. Tom’s like, it’s already the semi-final, so technical up next. Yan’s ready for everything…anything. We get another Christmas tree shot, then everybody goes in for the technical.
No chance to prepare for this one. Time for the technical. Words of advice, Paul; pay attention to your time. They’re quite tricky. Watch your timing. Everybody laughs. Run off. Where are they off to? Just stepping outside the tent. Technical challenge today; festive sausage roll. How festive? Oh, it’s a wreath. Be neat and even in appearance. Flaky, golden brown, well-balanced flavor filling with cranberry sauce. You get two hours. On your marks, get set, bake. So, they get to work. Terry’s like yeah, this is festive. Tom’s like, yeah, I’ve made this a ton of times, so what could go wrong? Then, I don’t know, Paul and Prue are on a set or something. It looks very holiday-y. Sausage, meat, pudding. Key thing about this challenge is the cheats puff pastry. You could still get that flakiness.
You gotta freezer-chill the butter down, grate it, fold it a couple times ‘cause then the butter softens. It comes out, makes a flaky pastry. It’s something that’s dry and crisp. No easy way of doing it. That is delicious, though. If you can do that, it will be a success. We even have some light effects. Terry’s cutting his butter, cubing his butter. They talk about weeks that went well, pastry weeks. Two hours on the clock. Two hours, are you joking? So, everybody’s measuring and pulsing and making their dough. Gotta keep the butter as cold as possible. Briony’s doing it by hand. Terry’s grating his with a grater. You gotta get that lamination. Tricky if the butter melts. It creates a nice, aerated layer. Repeat the process with frozen butter. Divide your pastry. Fill one area. Fold and turn.
Yan gets a little mixed up ‘cause I mean, yeah, the instructions aren’t super clear but if you don’t do it right, you’ll end up with a greasy pan. Here we go. Terry puts his in the freezer. Briony in the fridge. Now they’re doing the onions. Tom does his in a machine. Other people are doing it. Oh, you could…if you…oh, Briony and Noel talk about…oh, if you cut the onions underwater. He’s like yeah, but if you were underwater, how would you cut onions? She said no, no, no. Never mind. He laughs. She says, now I’m gonna use garlic. He’s like, I gotta go. Pork shoulder, black pudding, sausage. Goes in the grinder. Mincemeat; 75 grams. Salt and pepper, bread crumbs, put it through twice, which Tom realizes I only minced once. So, disaster averted. He does it again; looks better.
Terry seasoning it up; sage and mace to taste. No one knows how to measure it because I don’t want to be overpowering. Noel’s encouraging him…Tom to be overpowering. Pastry chilled…time to construct it. Oh, crikey. Terry says too chilled, he says, ‘cause he should have put it in the fridge. Then Dijon, then sausage in a cylinder. Yan actually pipes her sausage. Sandi’s got the fake bird and her and Noel joke about that. They have a lot of jokes about sausage and it doesn’t look appetizing, obviously, when it’s uncooked. Then you gotta do a egg wash to seal your pastry, then make twelve sections that’ll form a wreath which is like…yeah, you gotta do the math ‘cause it’s like, is it half, half, and half or…but Yan’s like no, four centimeters. So, then…oh crikey again. Talk about awkward.
They make it in a circle, then they put more egg wash on. Then Terry’s ready to go in the oven, but Briony’s actually reading the instructions. You gotta twist it over so it looks like a wreath. Tom says, this tent is my nemesis. Yan’s getting hers going. Looks like a wreath. Let’s see if it laminates. Oh, forgot the sesame seeds, Terry. Are we gonna have time to bake it? How long do we bake it for? It’s gonna need a long time ‘cause it’s got…then Noel does a sleeping bag thing with a plaid thing. Half an hour remaining, half an hour. Then make your cranberry sauce and pour it into the ramekin and serve. Port…you know it’s good, Noel says, when it just says ‘Port’ on the label. Briony and Tom have a hit of it. Then we see the rolls are starting to brown. Maybe they’re laminating. Terry’s…doesn’t think his is.
Maybe he should have read the instructions. Trying to get some more color on it. Maybe five more minutes. Meat’s browning. Too much? Ten minutes left. When to take it out? Maybe dry it out a bit more. Maybe five more minutes, Terry says. Come on. Briony takes hers out; she put foil on the top of hers. Turn up the oven. Yan’s bottom’s cooked. Announcement from Mr. Fielding; one minute left. Now it’s gotta come out. Oh, boy. Ramekin…Briony’s like, I don’t think my ramekin’s gonna fit in the middle of my wreath. Then they say oh, yummy. Ramekin is in. Sausage roll wreath for your photographs. So, let’s see. They go…Tom first. Everybody’s is laid out. Whose bake is whose? Very interesting. Okay, so they start with Tom’s. Nice pattern. Equal all the way around. Okay, let’s see what it tastes like.
Balance is good. There’s a flake. Nice color, number two. It was Yan. Beautiful. A bit dry. Flavor’s good. Number three could have used a stronger color, but it’s flattened. It’s a bit under-baked. Definitely not cooked. It wasn’t in there long enough, stodgy. Last and possibly least, issues…more like a short crust which works, but that wasn’t the challenge. It’s delicious, though. Now Paul and Prue decide. Briony’s last. Didn’t stay in the oven long enough. Terry; short crust…that’s the only reason it was…tasted good. It’s the only reason you’re not last. Yan; delicious, but there is one better, Tom’s. Finally. You lost a bit of butter, but you managed a flake. The whole thing tasted quite nice. Very good. He’s like, I came in first. I feel amazing. I’m happy. Briony’s like, okay, that didn’t go good. Sucky.
Go heck for leather tomorrow. Not a lot of time. Then we see snow. I don’t know if it’s fake snow outside or real snow. Showstopper challenge. Paul and Prue decide. Everybody goes out. You’ll be…decided to know it’s time for your showstopper. Sandi lives in a gingerbread house, if you want to ramp it up. Oh, flatpack house. We want to see 3D building sets, favorite location for the holidays, and two confectionery skills. You got four hours. On your mark, get set, go. So, sugar and spice mix…everybody’s getting it together, trying to get on top of things. Stem ginger, ground ginger, ginger cake, shortbread rise. Shortbread’s Christmassy. Has to be a big celebration, Prue says. Gingerbread structure. Paul wants a good snap. Don’t under-bake the biscuit. We want it to take…taste spice of ginger.
Briony adds a little turmeric. You gotta get your timing right. That’s been their downfall in the past. Four hours. We want to see gingerbread buildings. Welcome to the gun show, Briony says as she’s mixing hers. Epic gingerbread scenes. Two-and-a-half kilos, Yan’s making. Bowl the judges over. Embodiment of Christmas, Tom says, the taste. Terry’s got very sticky dough. You gotta balance the consistency. Yan is putting a lot of flavor; coriander, ginger, cinnamon, white pepper, and she got 208 things in four hours to get through. She got a huge list. She’s doing follow the Yellow Brick Road house, Florentine tiles, pina colada marshmallow, shortbread, rhubarb ginger grass. She’s like, I’m going for a showstopper. Four timers…I got Post-it notes. Even tell me to talk to the judges. So, time’s up.
Off you go. They say okay, we get the point. Everybody’s working on their gingerbread, shaping it using structures to cut them out. Tom’s making spares. Terry made boards to follow. Briony’s got all her things she’s supposed to remember. It’s the Chrysler Building Terry’s doing. He loves being in New York at Christmas. Was once the world star…be three feet which is pretty impressive anyway. Ground…cinder toffee trees, and they have a laugh. Fascinating. Good luck, Terry. Terry’s doing inventive structural corners. Means of making construction easy. Briony has a way to make hers look brick-like. Christmas gingerbread scene. She says, my husband, my daughter and I, we go to the Peak District and take this train with Santa on it. Adults get sherry and the kids get a present, so it’ll be fun.
Old sweets, vanilla marshmallow. Train’s gonna have a rope on it; you could pull it out of the station. It’ll have various surprises for the judges. Fantastic. Won’t let you down. While Briony stays on track, will the train roll out? Multiple puns there. Tom’s been derailed by memories of other things, so he wants to do a sugar dome. He’s gonna do a Edinburgh building at Christmas, gingerbread pudding, hot buttercream details, coconut snow. Edinburgh, synonymous with Christmas Castle? No, that’d be too tough. This is a bank that’s now a bar with a beautiful dome at the center of the space. I’m gonna make a giant sugar dome. Good luck. Sounds wonderful. Everybody’s trying to figure stuff out, trying to get stuff in the oven, how many pieces to complete your scene, working in batches.
I wonder who pays for all…like, if they order the different things they’re using or they have to buy them on their own. So, then everybody’s making their windows with candy. Mint rhubarb, custard, Yellow Brick Road with sugar, syrup, and chili, I think. Paul and Prue watch. They say wow, they’re really going for it. Yan’s really going. This is gonna be extraordinary. Paul says I hope everybody gets it done and it’s amazing. Crunch time for the first batch of biscuits. Who knows when it’s done? Nobody knows. Darker gingerbread’s hard to know when it’s done. Don’t want it to be under-baked ‘cause it’ll collapse, but over-baked biscuits lose their flavor. So, those come out of the oven. Really important to trim the stuff as it comes out. Tom’s starting to make his window…candied window. So is Yan.
Another batch in for Terry. So many bits. So much to do. Stuff’s falling off of Yan’s thing, but it was just sides. Tom’s…or Paul’s poking Yan’s biscuits. There’s other gingerbread buildings in there that Noel and Sandi are joking about. Then everybody…bitter mocha, chocolate truffle Tom’s gonna make. Marshmallow trees, marzipan roof, Florentine roof tiles for Yan. She goes yeah, I’d be worried if I didn’t have it. Cinder toffee, sugar, golden syrup, and bicarbonated soda. Pour that into molds. Hot fudge with Irish liquor. Sandi likes the cinder toffee. Oh, you reckon? Packing it in. Marshmallow trees; those look good. Caramel Week, something to prove. Chili Yellow Brick Road, that’s good. Mint…Tom’s trying to make some mint trees or something.
Sandi’s playing drums on Tom’s cold water balloons so that he can make his choc…or his candy dome. Briony’s working on her station’s roof. Christmas tree barfi that Yan’s making. Tom’s cutting his domes. Terry’s checking his structures. Stuff’s coming out of the oven. Everything’s out. Star rose in the east. One hour left. Mary or Joseph? You’re Mary, Noel. Now the construction begins which is always stressful, but for Yan, it’s…she’s still got a mountain of confectionery to climb. Gonna need a Christmas miracle. Tom’s making columns of buildings with caramel structures. Terry’s doing ground floor. Briony’s just putting hers together. Tom’s standing up. Terry’s is a rectangle when it’s supposed to be a square. Tom drops one of his parts of his building and it broke, but he caramels it together.
Yan’s working on another part of her building. Too bad I can’t make more sweets. I think…oh, Briony’s one…short one piece, so she’s having to make one more piece of the train. Terry’s building’s rising. Tom’s is coming together. Chili and lime Yellow Brick Road, but it’s very hard candy. Briony’s glad she had leftover biscuits. Terry says come on, you devil. He’s trying to put…he’s trying to get his building and it’s collapsing as he’s making it. Yan’s putting hers together. Briony’s is coming together. Royal icing…best piping skills. Calm head under pressure. Terry’s getting upset. Marzipan roof’s coming together. Terry has to stand on the stool; his is so high. Yan’s is falling apart as she’s putting it together. She says, the playing board’s gonna shut me down.
Tom’s is coming together pretty quickly, but stuff’s happening that’s annoying him. Such high hopes. There’s a shot of Tom through one…somebody else’s structure. Then she’s putting the Florentines right on the roof with chocolate. Terry’s trees don’t work. Tom’s piping. Briony’s putting lights in. Terry’s working on his angels, Tom’s working on his roof, Briony’s decorating the train. Yan’s kinda trying to get everything going. Decoration…things not…everything’s holding. Tom’s dome works. Everything’s…people are spraying. A bit of a stir. Train’s going in. Sprinkling…your time is up. Place your showstopper at the end of the workstation or just leave it. Tom’s still moving. Then they big…all give each other a big hug. Never have to bake in the tent again. Shots of the outside with snow. Then they start with Tom’s.
He’s got lights twinkling. We see a shot of everybody’s, and they start with Yan’s. It’s my house, but it could have been condemned. They all have a laugh. A bit messy. Defining messy’s generous. So, they try the biscuit first. They bite it. Nice texture, nice flavor. Lovely crack. Delicious shortbread. Well-baked. Prue says mm. They say everything’s delicious. Don’t judge a book by the cover. Each part of this is amazing, but she just did too much. So, sorry. Tom; his building looks good. Quintessential Edinburgh Christmas building and sugar dome. There’s a Christmas tree inside. Very neat. Great structure. How’s it taste? Delicious, snappy. Ginger content’s perfect. Truffle…rich, velvety. A bit too bitter for Prue but beautifully made. Big success. Briony; she’s got the Santa train and traditional gingerbread.
Turmeric…they give it a little bit different flavor. Marshmallow Christmas trees, chocolate marzipan roof. Also, the train has steam and liquor inside, port or something. Sherry for the judges and everybody else. Very festive. They break it apart. Prue says mm, gingerbread’s delicious. Earthy turmeric. Chocolate marzipan is delicious. Goes right over the almonds but it comes back. Executed well. Finished on time. Well done, Briony. Terry’s looks good but he has a bunch of surprises, so it’s definitely worth watching. I don’t want to ruin the surprises, but…I don’t know. They’re actually surprised by everything, so it’s got this automated stuff. Terry’s kinda sculpting the faces which he’s really good at. Good gingerbread. Cinder toffee…looked like it was gonna be too dark, but it was delicious.
But too soft, but I don’t care. Fantastic. Very well done, Terry. Everybody says well done. Everybody says that was one of the most memorable showstoppers we ever had. Fabulous way to celebrate. Now we get to decide on Star Baker. There’s a party outside. Family, friends, probably some people from other seasons. Terry puts on a hat. Other people put on horn…or elven ears and stuff like that. They start sharing their construction. People are roasting marshmallows, probably chestnuts. Then they go over…is it gimmick or gingerbread? Gimmick all day long. Yan’s was delicious but she was so ambitious. We liked Briony’s; the smoke, fantastic. She’s last in technical. Tom first in technical. His I loved. Very professional. Terry’s had flashing…a dancing puppet, though. Then they said, put the Queen’s Speech on.
There’s even a reindeer and little kids. They cheer for the judges who come out. They have an award. It looks like a plate or something for who wins. They clap. They’re all bundled up. They say Sandi looks like Macaulay Culkin. Proper Christmas. Family’s back together. They say, we can only have one winner, and the winner is…they’re all holding hands…Briony. She’s surprised. I think Tom’s probably surprised too, ‘cause he was really strong I guess in two out of three, but he just didn’t complete the one. Amazing job. Design good. She blew it away. You did amazing. Lots of hugs. You’re such a good baker. Worthy winner. Would have liked them all to get a prize. Her family’s cheering. Best Christmas present in the world for me and my family. So proud. This is epic. Everybody cheers. The episode ends.
Let’s run through these notes here. Walk into tent, second day of Christmas, showstopper, gingerbread building. Sandi lives in one, they say. 3D building set. Two confectionery skills…in December. Fanny sugar and spicy. Tom did it twice; both one and a half hours over, or a half-hour over. Yan; shortbread…botch…caveat flavor, syrup. Don’t under-bake. Briony; turmeric…turning. Welcome to muscle show. Two and a half kilos…Yan. Bowl over the biscuit. Tastes like Christmas. Flavor and consistency. Yan, lots of flavor. Tells us she is…holding 208 ideas list. He hugs her. Oh, she tells Noel he’s distracting her. Follow the Yellow Brick Roadhouse like her house. He cracks up. Grand designs. Doesn’t having a working Christmas sink, but it has everything else. Four times Post-it note…four timers, Post-it notes.
Now take off, all of you. Something five paces. Terry…something called idiot boards? Terry’s doing the Chrysler building…three feet…cinder toffee…Paul and Prue…fascinating. Initial shortbread corners…Briony; old steam train with Santa. Illuminated station. Train will move and lift off roof. Sundays on…with…on tired. Tom’s been derailed. Big sugar dome. Something to rest. Ever clear…castle. Oh, Edinburgh Castle? No, a bank that’s now a bar. Giant sugar dome. Sheets of shaped garage band…wind-up bathers. Boiled sugar’s sweet. Windows…Yellow Brick Road. They’re going for it. Can Yan pull it off? Paul and Prue talk crunch. First bask of biscuits for Tom. Burnt, Briony? Train when it carests windows…amber…batch in oven. Poking my biscuits. Halfway through. Bitter mech…chocolate truffle.
That’s mocha. Marshmallow trees…flounder. Roof tile…eight sweet treats…cinder toffee. Turkey…marshmallow treats…live chat…Yellow Brick Road. Lime chili. Water balloons, chocolate, paper, science. Xmas tree barfi. Out of oven. Sandi and Noel, Mary and Joseph. Assembly talk. You mention of coffee berry. Still to clock. Caramel columns. Terry’s grand floor. White chocolate plates. Terry not a square. Tom drops his roof. Yan; still working on sweets. Terry can’t get top on. Terry, cheat. Go in detail. Fifteen meters. Terry still can’t get it. Steady hard. Best piping skills. Calm hand, five meters. No one going well. On mute…crystal together. Edit, polish. A turd. Time is up. Tom, again, time. Graphing. Yan; condemned but bit messy. Biscuit; nice flavor. Really cracks. Shortbread; well-baked as well.
Pints taste away. Tom; look amazing. Very neat…toaster. Delicious snappy biscuit. Truffle; rich, velvety. Good job. Big success. Briony; Santa train smile. Looks neat. Very festive. Mm, delicious. Delicious mo flan. Well done. Terry; top blows…Prue, Paul dance. Good going, beard. Soft…it is too soft. Lovely, fantastic. Well done. Terry gets teary. Sandi and Noel crack up. I mean, separately from that. Ready…party outside. Talking…TikTok gimmick versus gingerbread. You tasted the best. Briony; good in nectar. Tom, first in technical. Very professional. Put Queen’s Speech on. Judges wild out. Call Sandi…Michael cauldron. Only one whineys. Only one winner; Briony. Yan pumped for her. Talking heads. Such a good baker. She is so happy. Epic in family. Goodnight and good baking this holiday season. Thanks, everybody.
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