1276 – Guild Webseries Watch | S1E7 – S2E5

The Guild / Watchalong

 

Sushi

https://www.eat-japan.com/sushi-perfect/sushi-knwoledge/sushi-history/

https://rokaakor.com/a-brief-history-of-sushi-and-why-its-so-popular-today/

https://www.summerssushi.com/blog/evolution-of-sushi

 

Guilds

https://brewminate.com/guilds-skilled-privilege-in-the-middle-ages/

https://brewminate.com/the-role-of-guilds-in-the-middle-ages/

https://www.lordsandladies.org/guilds-in-the-middle-ages.htm

 

Raids

https://www.pcgamer.com/10-of-the-toughest-mmo-raid-bosses-ever/

https://www.ign.com/articles/2015/05/22/the-top-10-mmo-raid-bosses-of-all-time

https://www.thegamer.com/video-games-best-raids/

 

History of Movie Stunts

https://medium.com/@cphindustries/a-short-history-of-action-stunts-771bec701584

https://www.timeout.com/film/the-18-greatest-stunts-in-movie-history

https://www.cracked.com/image-pictofact-9609-15-historical-firsts-in-the-world-of-stunts

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

The Sleepy Guild

Kentucky Route Zero shoutout

 

Deep Dark Night United

n/a

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

 

INTRO

Some of my feelings are … not terrific

Maybe there’s a better time I could talk with this thought than at 2am

Have you tried not thinking about that stuff?

Have you tried pillows before? 

Definitely Nevermind

I’d start dreading Sunday night on Saturday

You don’t even have to pretend to follow me

You’re kidding me, sushi?

No pressure to fall asleep

Bore-On-Demand (BOD)

The Bacon Brothers Band

Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band

Postmodern Tongue Twisters

Can someone explain Postmodern to me?

An extended attempt to make a postmodern tongue twister

How come I can’t think of any stores that start with a B?

I guess Bloomingdale’s does work

Twin Tungster / Tongue Twister

No Chimes, No Tones

A world of Bacon and Bridges siblings

Battle of the Bands; Bacon Brothers Band and Bridges Brothers Band

Could this be the official tongue twister of Minions 5?

The first official artist with a tongue twister

I’ll make a Taylor and a Swift tongue twister

Can the Bacon / Bridges Brothers open for Taylor?

Not Currently Relevant to All Swifties

 

STORY

The end of Season 1 and the start of Season 2

Zaboo’s mom showed up

Codex is confused

She has frozen peas on her head because it was a tough conversation

Zaboo locked himself in the bathroom

She’s back and they appear to be gone

Tink is babysitting Clara’s kids but doesn’t have mothering instincts

Bork is eating breakfast

Zaboo’s mom is making blintzes

She half apologizes to Codex

Mom prepares to leave

Blade’s posted a video online of the characters with clothes

A PR Disaster

Tink won’t change diapers

I’d say this series isn’t for little kids

Ep 8: The Tipping Point

Talking about her ninja moves

Codex and Zaboo talk about self-care

Zaboo doesn’t want to go with his mom

Zaboo can only be himself online

Mom is pretty possessive of Zaboo

The whole squad heard that

They want Blade to take down the video

Zaboo has an idea to get the video down

He calls her Codex-wan

Meet at Cheesybeard’s

They escape mom’s grasp

Ep 9 starts

Vork has brought his own orange soda

Tink uses oven mitts to return the kids

Zaboo has a plan

Negotiating with Bladezz

The newspapers have a picture of Bladezz child modeling

His modeling name is Finn Smolders??

Funny headshots online

Kind of threatening to … dox him?

They successfully blackmail Bladezz

The guild is saved!

Zaboo’s mom shows up

Now we have to help Zaboo escape his mom

Ep 10 / Finale: Boss Battle

They stand as a team against Mom

Zaboo doesn’t want to go home

She tries to appeal to Zaboo

He won’t go home

Mom is upset

She’s turning his room into a sewing room

She won’t even hug Zaboo goodbye

Bladezz apologizes

He took his modeling stress out on the Guild

That’s the end of Season 1

Season 2 opens with Codex talking

She and Zaboo are doing laundry

Codex and Zaboo are now in a new place

A really improved opening

Ep 1: Link the Loot

Zaboo can’t play in the kitchen because he’s cooking brisket in there

They have to work as a team to get through this raid

Holy Guacamole, The Orb of Something!

Tink and Clara bid on the Orb

Clara’s wedding is this weekend

Zaboo would install a T1 line

I just got new internet which is like half as fast as a T1 line

Clara’s kids accidentally get into her gaming room

Codex and Zaboo are talking romantically about Ethernet collections

Codex and Zaboo are about to kiss

The start of ep 2

Tink won the orb while everyone was distracted

Zaboo tries to put 8 gigs of RAM in his pants

Codex doesn’t want Zaboo living off of her 

He needs to be independent on his own

Clara will deal with her family later

Zaboo is starting a new quest

A quest to prove his love to Codex

He can’t live somewhere with dial-up!!

Vork is freelance mining gold for someone else

Vork and Zaboo can be roommates!

Vork needs to save money, and Zaboo needs a mentor

I like this Zaboo / Vork teamup

Vork’s place is not super clean on the outside

A lot of paperwork to sign

An NDA to enter a house

This was Vork’s grandfather’s house

Don’t enter Vork’s bedroom

A room of functional items people throw away every day

Nonpaid Professional Guildmaster

He collects Squab

A children’s day bed for Zaboo

Codex is still Zaboo’s primary quest line

She bumps into her neighbor

That was ep 3

Ep 4: Heroic Encounter

Her neighbor needed help tying his shoes

She wanted to help

He ties his shoes without his hands

He’s a stunt guy

Zaboo had a registry for them?

He’s just a friend, definitely

He calls her Red

A very cool action move

Clara didn’t go to her sister’s wedding

This is very Zoom-like

The guild is supportive of her stunt guy crush

She’s never dated someone with muscle tone before

Vork and Zaboo discuss how to get people to like them

Bladezz decides he has a crush on Tink

Everybody is processing their own relationship thing

Mommy Needs an Orb

Bladezz offers to help Tink with her farming

Season 3 coming August, 2009

Another episode

Codex is not good at flirting

Zaboo is working out and embracing masculinity

He’s learning how to be a man from the internet

Deadlifting Mustard Tins

Clara is partying home alone

Zaboo wants to chest bump Vork

Codex is playing violin?

Bladezz does Tink’s homework for her

Tink lays out her life philosophy

Oh, she’s faking violin playing as the Stunt Guy walks by

He’s in wardrobe for a movie

Is he wearing pants or shorts?

He’s dismissive of online gaming

She gets a tummy tum tum as she touches his pants fabric

And we’ll end there for now

 

SWM+ THANKS

Sandra, Cory, Katherine, Jessica, Caitlin, Juliet, Josh, Matt, Kristen, Penny, Ben, Mark, Kaitlin, Anne, Michelle, Thomas, Elizabeth, June, Laura, Alistair, Rebecca, Devin, Jennifer, Gabrielle, Danielle, Thomas, Vivian, Dominic, Siobhan, Jenna, Joaquin

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1276

Title: Guild Webseries Watch | S1E7 – S2E5

Deep Dark Night United: n/a

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

SWM+ Thanks: Sandra, Cory, Katherine, Jessica, Caitlin, Juliet, Josh, Matt, Kristen, Penny, Ben, Mark, Kaitlin, Anne, Michelle, Thomas, Elizabeth, June, Laura, Alistair, Rebecca, Devin, Jennifer, Gabrielle, Danielle, Thomas, Vivian, Dominic, Siobhan, Jenna, Joaquin

Notable Language:

• Definitely Nevermind
• Malaise
• Sushi
• Bore-On-Demand (BOD)
• Postmodern Tongue Twisters
• Twin Tungster / Tongue Twister
• Bridges Brothers Banana Bread Brand
• Not Currently Relevant to All Swifties
• Nonpaid Professional Guildmaster
• Mommy Needs an Orb
• Deadlifting Mustard Tins
• Action Wardrobe

 

Notable Culture:

• Kentucky Route Zero videogame

• The Guild

• • The Bacon Brothers Band
  • Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band
  • Bass Pro Shop
  • Bloomingdale’s

• Pinky and the Brain

• • Jeff Bridges

• Minions 5 movie

• • Taylor Swift

• Star Wars

• • Robert Frost

• The Kids in the Hall

• Zoom

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Some of my feelings are … not terrific
• Maybe there’s a better time I could talk with this thought than at 2am
• Have you tried not thinking about that stuff?
• Have you tried pillows before? 
• Definitely Nevermind
• I’d start dreading Sunday night on Saturday
• You don’t even have to pretend to follow me
• You’re kidding me, sushi?
• No pressure to fall asleep
• Bore-On-Demand (BOD)
• The Bacon Brothers Band
• Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band
• Postmodern Tongue Twisters
• Can someone explain Postmodern to me?
• An extended attempt to make a postmodern tongue twister
• How come I can’t think of any stores that start with a B?
• I guess Bloomingdale’s does work
• Twin Tungster / Tongue Twister
• No Chimes, No Tones
• A world of Bacon and Bridges siblings
• Battle of the Bands; Bacon Brothers Band and Bridges Brothers Band
• Could this be the official tongue twister of Minions 5?
• The first official artist with a tongue twister
• I’ll make a Taylor and a Swift tongue twister
• Can the Bacon / Bridges Brothers open for Taylor?
• Not Currently Relevant to All Swifties
• The end of Season 1 and the start of Season 2
• Zaboo’s mom showed up
• Codex is confused
• She has frozen peas on her head because it was a tough conversation
• Zaboo locked himself in the bathroom
• She’s back and they appear to be gone
• Tink is babysitting Clara’s kids but doesn’t have mothering instincts
• Bork is eating breakfast
• Zaboo’s mom is making blintzes
• She half apologizes to Codex
• Mom prepares to leave
• Blade’s posted a video online of the characters with clothes
• A PR Disaster
• Tink won’t change diapers
• I’d say this series isn’t for little kids
• Ep 8: The Tipping Point
• Talking about her ninja moves
• Codex and Zaboo talk about self-care
• Zaboo doesn’t want to go with his mom
• Zaboo can only be himself online
• Mom is pretty possessive of Zaboo
• The whole squad heard that
• They want Blade to take down the video
• Zaboo has an idea to get the video down
• He calls her Codex-wan
• Meet at Cheesybeard’s
• They escape mom’s grasp
• Ep 9 starts
• Vork has brought his own orange soda
• Tink uses oven mitts to return the kids
• Zaboo has a plan
• Negotiating with Bladezz
• The newspapers have a picture of Bladezz child modeling
• His modeling name is Finn Smolders??
• Funny headshots online
• Kind of threatening to … dox him?
• They successfully blackmail Bladezz
• The guild is saved!
• Zaboo’s mom shows up
• Now we have to help Zaboo escape his mom
• Ep 10 / Finale: Boss Battle
• They stand as a team against Mom
• Zaboo doesn’t want to go home
• She tries to appeal to Zaboo
• He won’t go home
• Mom is upset
• She’s turning his room into a sewing room
• She won’t even hug Zaboo goodbye
• Bladezz apologizes
• He took his modeling stress out on the Guild
• That’s the end of Season 1
• Season 2 opens with Codex talking
• She and Zaboo are doing laundry
• Codex and Zaboo are now in a new place
• A really improved opening
• Ep 1: Link the Loot
• Zaboo can’t play in the kitchen because he’s cooking brisket in there
• They have to work as a team to get through this raid
• Holy Guacamole, The Orb of Something!
• Tink and Clara bid on the Orb
• Clara’s wedding is this weekend
• Zaboo would install a T1 line
• I just got new internet which is like half as fast as a T1 line
• Clara’s kids accidentally get into her gaming room
• Codex and Zaboo are talking romantically about Ethernet collections
• Codex and Zaboo are about to kiss
• The start of ep 2
• Tink won the orb while everyone was distracted
• Zaboo tries to put 8 gigs of RAM in his pants
• Codex doesn’t want Zaboo living off of her 
• He needs to be independent on his own
• Clara will deal with her family later
• Zaboo is starting a new quest
• A quest to prove his love to Codex
• He can’t live somewhere with dial-up!!
• Vork is freelance mining gold for someone else
• Vork and Zaboo can be roommates!
• Vork needs to save money, and Zaboo needs a mentor
• I like this Zaboo / Vork teamup
• Vork’s place is not super clean on the outside
• A lot of paperwork to sign
• An NDA to enter a house
• This was Vork’s grandfather’s house
• Don’t enter Vork’s bedroom
• A room of functional items people throw away every day
• Nonpaid Professional Guildmaster
• He collects Squab
• A children’s day bed for Zaboo
• Codex is still Zaboo’s primary quest line
• She bumps into her neighbor
• That was ep 3
• Ep 4: Heroic Encounter
• Her neighbor needed help tying his shoes
• She wanted to help
• He ties his shoes without his hands
• He’s a stunt guy
• Zaboo had a registry for them?
• He’s just a friend, definitely
• He calls her Red
• A very cool action move
• Clara didn’t go to her sister’s wedding
• This is very Zoom-like
• The guild is supportive of her stunt guy crush
• She’s never dated someone with muscle tone before
• Vork and Zaboo discuss how to get people to like them
• Bladezz decides he has a crush on Tink
• Everybody is processing their own relationship thing
• Mommy Needs an Orb
• Bladezz offers to help Tink with her farming
• Season 3 coming August, 2009
• Another episode
• Codex is not good at flirting
• Zaboo is working out and embracing masculinity
• He’s learning how to be a man from the internet
• Deadlifting Mustard Tins
• Clara is partying home alone
• Zaboo wants to chest bump Vork
• Codex is playing violin?
• Bladezz does Tink’s homework for her
• Tink lays out her life philosophy
• Oh, she’s faking violin playing as the Stunt Guy walks by
• He’s in wardrobe for a movie
• Is he wearing pants or shorts?
• He’s dismissive of online gaming
• She gets a tummy tum tum as she touches his pants fabric
• And we’ll end there for now

Episode 1276 – Guild Webseries Watch | S1E7 – S2E5

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that’s here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep. That’s the…oh, the guild I’m a member of is the Sleepy Guild. Or, my specialty, it’s…it doesn't get portrayed in roleplaying games except for Kentucky…that’s not…Kentucky Route Zero, KRZ, you could find a little snooze in there. But most video games, believe it or not, are roleplaying games or even tales told…don’t have…I mean, they usually have a character…well, sometimes there’s a character that’s not super interesting. Usually they get edited out for good reason. But in this case, I’m the character and I’m actually here, in some sense, along those traditions and lines to be a misdirection, to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake.

 

I’m someone that’s outside of yourself. I don't…I’m not…there’s no storylines involving you other than you getting comfortable and getting the rest you need, because you’re…there’s no storylines involving you 'cause you’re important and your sleep is important, and my job is to just keep you company and take your mind off of this…off of that. This show is very different, though. So, if you’re new, just give it a few tries. It does take some getting used to for most people. It’s just 'cause it’s…I’m supposed to just be a friend talking to you and putting you to sleep. So, that’s…yeah, I think that’s…what else do you need to know? Oh, if you loathe the show…if you can't…already loathe me…I mean, if you already loathe me, if you can't stand me already, I would still say give it a few tries.

 

But if you already know, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleep podcasts on there that you could check out, and sleepy stuff. So, you could just do that. But I’m glad you’re here. What we got is support so you get to listen for free — the sponsor support enables that — then a long, meandering intro separate from the support. That’s the part that eases you into bedtime, gets you ready for bed, and then a bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be coverage of a web series, The Guild. Yeah, so that’s the structure of the show and that’s what we got coming up. I’m glad you’re here, and thanks for making it possible, my bore-friends.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts you’re thinking about, thoughts on your mind about the past, the present, the future.

 

So, thinking thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there or feelings that are baffling, emotions, physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, work schedule, you could have something coming up, you could be going somewhere, you could be going through something. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it so you could fall asleep. The only reason I go through that stuff and list it is so you know you’re not alone. I think it’s important to point out the fact that I can probably relate to how it feels for a lot of people in the deep, dark night. Maybe not you.

 

I just know how…I mean, I know how it feels for me, and I know I’ve heard from a lot of listeners that kind of have similar feelings and those feelings are not terrific, I would say. If I could review those feelings, I would say, some of those feelings I prefer to deal with other times of the day, if that’s…you know, say, maybe there’s a better time for us to discuss this. Oh, no. Is there a better time for this emotion to be coming up? Oh no, right now is the only time. You say, well, 'cause I’m trying to get some sleep here. Couldn't we just do it later? Oh, later like 2:00 a.m. later? Sure. Yeah. You want…? Let’s just talk until 2:00 a.m. and then can we feel the…? No, no.

 

So, the reason I go through that…even if I can't relate to what you’re going through…'cause I’ve heard from a lot of listeners who are…who have dealt with stuff that I haven't dealt with, and sometimes those feelings are similar; sometimes they’re different. But here’s the thing I can tell you; there’s enough people listening right now across the world that there’s someone listening who can relate to how you feel pretty closely, and they’re sitting in their bed right now and they’re holding a space for you 'cause they’re glad you’re here. They say, man, I know what that’s like, so I really hope this podcast can help you. I point that out because I don't know if it’s been your experience, but during the day, it’s kinda the opposite of that.

 

I guess, yeah, 'cause not everybody in our life has the internal or external resources to be able to be there for us when we say…they might not understand. They might be like, yeah, why don’t you…have you tried not thinking about that stuff? You say, yeah, that was the first thing I did, but when I tried to not think about that stuff, that’s all I can think about. Well, can you think about something nice, then? Yeah, but then it’s something nice on a cloudy day, and then it gets rainy, if you get my drift. No, I don't get your drift at all. Are you trying to sleep in a bed with your eyes closed? Have you tried pillows before? I say, okay, never mind. Forget I brought it up. You say you’re feeling malaise at bedtime? I don't know about…I say, okay, great, never…malaise was only the…sounds like you got a frowny face.

 

You say, okay, never mind. Definitely never mind. So, not a lot of people out there in the world get what it’s like at bedtime, and…so that’s one of the things I want you…there’s someone that gets it, how you feel, clearly, and they feel it and they’re glad you’re here. What they hope for you is the same thing I hope for you, that this podcast can help you get the rest you need and deserve and help you find a relationship at bedtime whether it’s with this podcast or without it, where you could look forward to bedtime or at least feel neutral about it instead of dreading it, instead of putting it off or…you know what I mean. I’ve talked about it in the show; when it was the worse for me, it was related to the school week.

 

So, on Saturday afternoons, that’s when I’d start feeling sick about trying to go to sleep on Sunday night, and it would carry that way all through the week. So, that’s what I mean. You deserve a bedtime that’s not like that, where you can be getting the rest you need so your life is better, more manageable, you could be out there flourishing. So, that’s one thing. What we’re gonna do here is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up. I talk in these creaky, dulcet tones…not traditionally soothing but somewhat-soothing tones, like a friend. Oh, what else do you need to know? Okay, so, a couple things; this is a podcast you kinda just barely listen to.

 

What do I mean by that? It’s kinda like elevated background noise. You could listen to this podcast but you could also just barely pay attention to it, kind of…we’ve all been in this situation before where someone…you just aren’t able to listen to somebody but they want to be listened to, and you’re like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, and you’re not really…this podcast, that’s okay. You don’t even have to make those noises, but…and they say, are you following me? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Holy moly, really? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, man. It even happens to me when I’m trying to listen, but every once in a while you’re in the middle of a conversation and someone’s signal or their headphones…there’s some sort of interference, right, and they’re in the middle of a story.

 

I don't know about you, but sometimes I’ll say, hey, can you repeat that? But if it happens more than once, I just kinda fake it sometimes. I’ll be honest. I’ll say, oh, whoa, you’re kidding me. Sushi? They say, what? What do you mean, sushi? I say, oh, sorry, no, no. I was just reading a sign that went by. I wasn’t talking about what you were telling me, that important stuff you were telling me. I say, sushi, like…it was just…I’m sorry. You know what I’m…? I wouldn't even do that. I’d just say, yeah, yeah…oh yeah, sushi, man. That’s what I’m…sorry. You know what I mean. This podcast, you could…and people do this; uh-huh, go ahead, Scoots. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Sushi, huh? Yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So, this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to. You could listen to it. It’s also a podcast that’s not here to put you to sleep.

 

I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. There’s a reason the episodes are over an hour; it’s so you don’t feel any pressure to fall asleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your Borbie, your bores, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, whatever it is. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night and keep you company so that you could fall asleep, kinda like I’m on…BOD, bore on demand. Your bore…your bode. Isn’t that bod? No, no, when it’s boring, it’s ‘bode’. I’m your bode. I’m your beau, but not B…not like Bridges. More like…wait, Beau Bridges…?

 

Remember, there was about 500 episodes ago…so, the…you know who Kevin Bacon is, right? Or, you’ve heard of Kevin Bacon, right? Well, Kevin Bacon is or was in a band with…I’m presuming…I’m only assuming 'cause of the title…with his brothers. It’s called the Bacon Brothers Band. Then I was always wondering if they ever had Beau Bridges in the Bacon Brothers Band. Beau Bridges in the Bacon Brothers Band; maybe that’s what I said last time. That’s a line-up card, right? Beau Bridges, featuring…that doesn't work though, 'cause featuring just…Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band. Maybe that’ll be…would that be a post…? Here’s the thing; is there such a thing as post-modern tongue-twisters or could I invent that? That’s question one. I don't know what that would even mean, though.

 

But you’d say, if we…if you said yes, that there could be post-modern tongue-twisters, one, please let me know what post-modern means 'cause I don't understand, but two, could we say that Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band…if I put in other tongue-twister stuff, you know…? Banjos, bom bonsen. I don't know. I’m trying to think of other sleepy stuff that starts with a B that would be…Beau Brothers and the Bacon Brother Band bake bon-bons…barely bake bon-bons, beligerent bon…Beau Brothers and the Bacon Brother…Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band bake beligerent bon-bons. Now we need something like…with a -ly word. Barely bake beligerent bon-bons; there we go. Barking backwards, something…what would they bark backwards?

 

Bah, bah, bah…Beau Brothers and the Bacon Brother…Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band bark backwards…beligerently bark backwards between baking bon-bons below…is there a store that starts with a B? Are you actually introducing a sleep podcast? I was. Below…there’s gotta be…Bass Pro Shops doesn't work, but there’s gotta be a B…isn't there…? No. How come I can't think of any stores that start with a B? Below Beverly’s…below Bloomingdales. No, that does…I don't know why that doesn't work, but it doesn't. Anyway, we’re partially…could that be considered the first post-modern tongue-twister? No? Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band beligerently bark backwards between baking bon-bons below Bloomingdales.

 

Actually, Bloomingdales does work 'cause it’s got that L. It makes it hard to say. Yeah. By the way…? I don't know, I think you could use a couple more words. Then they say, actually, technically it’s only a tongue-twister if it has six or less words. Really? Oh, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know you were…that I had a twing tuxer…a tongue-twister referee in my brain. There’s another word that’s a B word. Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brothers Band beligerently bark backwards between baking bon-bons below Bloomingdales. Oh yeah…I don't know. I can't think of a way to put ‘brain’ in there. What’s another word for ‘watch’? ‘Cause you could put Binky and the Brain, but you’d need a B word. I don't know. So anyway, this is a pod…what was I saying? I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, not put you to sleep.

 

Yeah, I’m just here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, like a friend you would call, but I’m a friend that does take some getting used to. I said it earlier; this show just takes some getting used to. It’s very different. Even now, you say, how many podcasts talk about…that Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brother Band should be not just together but have their own official post-modern tongue-twister? Or, technically just a tongue-twister. It’s not post-modern. That’s fine, too. But that’s the official tongue-twister of Beau Bridges and the Bacon Brother Band…Bacon Brothers Band if…maybe. I don't know. Could be. Couldn't be? Bands don’t have their own official tongue-twisters? Why not? There’s plenty of good reasons?

 

Oh, my brain just said that; there’s plenty of good reasons, so just move on with…okay, so…oh, this show does take some getting used to. It’s just very different. If you came here, one, you’re probably tired, you’re skeptical, you’re fed up. Maybe you tried a bunch of other stuff, and now you get here and it’s not following what you would expect would be the structure of a sleep podcast; chimes, tones, someone talking like this and saying, okay, follow along with my voice and I will take you to a place, a post-modern place, a world of tongue-twisters, a world of Kevin…of Bacon siblings and Bridges siblings, but not Jeff. I mean, Jeff could be there. I’d be great if Jeff was part of the band, but only…Beau has two Bs, you know? What if…?

 

I think this might have been in the intro; they could start their own…the Bridges Brothers Band. Like, Battle of the Bands…oh, there you go, Battle of the Bands. There’s your tongue-twister. Bridges Brothers Band; that’s pretty hard to say. Bacon Brothers Band’s…Bridges Brothers Brand…they could have their own denim brand or a bologna brand, Bridges Brothers’ bologna brand. Banana brand; there you go. Minions 5…any chance we could get this in Minions 5? Could this be the…could we work on the official tongue-twister of Minions 5? I mean, come on. Alright, so…oh, so this is different. So, it does defy expectations in a way that doesn't make any sense. You say, this is not what I expected. But if you give it a few tries…for the people it works for, they say, this isn't what I expected but this is what I needed.

 

This is what I’ve been looking for my whole life, just a friend to talk to me…no pressure to fall asleep. So, just give it a few tries and see how it goes. The other thing that really throws people off that I explain every intro just to soothe you and so you know there’s options but also gives it some predictability, is the structure of the show. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. Then it has sponsor support so paying for it is optional. If you don’t like the sponsor support, you could either pay directly for the podcast or support the podcast through the referral program and get the ad-free stuff just by referring people. Then there’s a long, meandering intro.

 

The intro is not designed to put you to sleep and it’s not a part of the support of the show. It’s a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime and explore random things like official tongue-twisters and stuff. We could…this is…you could be the…think about it; you could be the first…if you have a budget, though. No offense, but I’m looking for bands with budgets. You’re the official…first official artist with a tongue-twister, or the first artist with…I mean, Swifties? Come on, that could be the perfect partnership. Taylor’s…we could have two different ones, 'cause we’d have Taylor’s…a Taylor tongue-twister and a Swift tongue-twister. Official, though. It’d be great. I would wear those bracelets. I mean, it would take a pretty long bracelet if we had the tongue-twister on it, but I could do it.

 

I’d be willing…more than happy to, but I don't have time in this intro to start brainstorming them. What if Taylor brought out, though, Beau…the Bridges Brothers Band and the Bacon Brothers Band for one show? Everybody…since…it’d be like, who are those guys? No offense, 'cause I’m irrelevant, too. So, not saying you guys are irrelevant. I’m just saying you’re not currently relevant to all Swifties, which would be the same case for me. So, don’t take it personal. Okay, so I should just keep moving on. So, the intro, it goes on and on and on. It doesn't put most listeners asleep because they’re listening as they’re getting ready for bed or getting in bed, getting comfortable, or winding down. The intro’s a part of a wind down, even if you’re in bed.

 

It’s just what’s been shown to work, what’s worked for me, is having something to ease you into bedtime. Again, there’s no pressure to fall asleep. The intro is a part of that. While there is a small percentage of people that fall asleep during the intro and a percentage of people…you could skip the intro, start the show at twenty, thirty minutes. If you support on Sleep With Me+, you could listen to just stories or just intros. But at first just go with it. Maybe do something chill or start listening as you’re getting ready for bed. Then you could be brushing your teeth saying, Bacon Brothers, Bridges…you know. That’s perfect. If you got a toothbrush in your mouth, what better time than to laugh at tongue-twisters?

 

Okay, so that’s the intro, then there’s support again between the intro and the story, then tonight it’ll be our coverage of The Guild, and then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard and I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. This is our second episode of…coverage of the web series The Guild. So, I’ll be watching the last few episodes from Season 1 and part of or all of Season 2. I don't know. Okay, so when we left off, it was Episode 6, and Codex had answered the door, and Zaboo’s mom had come to the front door and said, well, hello, Codex. I would like to speak with my son. Now, remember, this is a sleepy version, right? Codex said, whoever…whosoever shall you be? She said, my word, where is my son? It was very Shakespearean. Let me get the closed captions turned on. So, it starts off as every episode does; Codex is talking to the camera. She has some peas on her head, peas…like frozen peas. ‘Cause she said, that conversation with Zaboo’s mother…Zaboo…I just…I was just watching the show.

 

It’s one of those…Zaboo. Zaboo? Zaboo. Zaboo…that I have trouble saying, so…but she said, yeah, that was intense talking to him, his mother. Zaboo’s in the bathroom and his mom’s speaking to him with a raised voice through the bathroom door. All night they’ve been doing that, but now it’s quiet. Maybe they’re both gone. Great news. Her bed is a little bit more made than normal. She’s just…came back. She went to check. She has a look on her face…very funny. No resolution. Then we have the opening sequence. The theme music changes…plays. I said ‘changes’ 'cause I was just watching Season 2. Okay, now we’re back to Codex. She has her door closed. Tink is babysitting Clara’s kids, and that…she’s not…she doesn't have mothering instincts. Vork is eating breakfast. Then Codex smells something.

 

She goes into her kitchen and Zaboo’s mother’s making blintzes. She says…she kind of apologizes but not really. She says, yeah, I was very surprised. She goes, my son’s…wasn’t home, and I couldn't find him, and then I tracked him here. I really believe in spending quality time with my son. Very good acting. She’s very…she goes, are you both leaving soon? She says, I finally convinced him of your homely charm. Don't worry, he’s packing. She goes, Zaboo came here by himself. She goes, Zaboo? Is that your pet name for him? She goes, don’t you know we play a online game together? That’s his name. Then she hands her blintzes over and she says, I’ll go say goodbye. She goes back to her room, checks in. Drama…Bladezz posted a video on the forums.

 

PR disaster…and our characters no longer…are animated without clothing, not in alignment with our character thing. Zaboo sits down. Look what Bladezz posted. He’s nonplussed, I’d say? He’s making his typical Zaboo jokes. I guess this is goodbye. Well, thanks for visiting, and I’ll talk to you on the screen back where it’s better for us to communicate. Okay, logging off. But then he stands on her bed. Then Tink is called to change some diapers, which is not really her thing. Diaper change? No way. I never…I wasn’t supposed to change any diapers. Bladezz’s video’s gonna get us…Knights of Good: Love Edition is plastered everywhere. That episode comes to a close. Again, make sure if you’re watching these, check…make sure they’re appropriate for you 'cause this is kind of for…not for little kids, I would say. Okay, we’re back.

 

Next episode…that’s The Tipping Point, Episode 8. Different stuff on Codex’s bed…there’s a big stuffed dog. She talks about Zaboo and his mom. She talks about her ninja moves. Oh, my shirt’s on backwards, so that’s funny. She talks about being bold, taking control, and making a positive out of a negative. Oh, someone else is negative, then the episode opens. Oh, I was saying…Season 2, the changes…okay, then we have Codex and Zaboo talking about…you gotta take better care of yourself. Practice self-care. He says, I gotta go…I don't want to go with my mom. Your mom loves you, maybe too much. You gotta go home. He says, Codex, I can't drive. My mom has drove me to college every day for four years. Every time I try to grow up, she’s not ready for it. The only place I can be myself is online.

 

So, an important point; last week she started reading Internet for Dummies. If she finishes that book, I’ll have nothing left. Everybody was listening to that, the whole squad, so everybody heard that. Sorry, I left the mic open. Clara, are you gonna…when are you gonna come get your kids? She says, yeah, well, I was doing some exercise classes. Come and get them now. She turns the fan on, then Bladezz logs in. Hi, hey, ha, ha, ha. I gotta say, meeting you in person was inspiring. Take that video down before you get us banned. Bladezz says, well, I’m gonna give away the guild bank to newbies. What did he say…? Vork says, we’re doomed. We’re gonna work this out, Codex says. We can beat a ten-team opponent when we work together. Then Zaboo has an idea to get the video down.

 

We just gotta get past my mom. He says, help me. You’re my only hope, just like Obi-Wan. He calls her Codex-Wan. Meet us at Cheesy Beard’s in an hour. More pancakes…and get Bladezz there. Vork’s like, I’m not planning on that. Zaboo’s mom says, attend to me. They go out the window with the blintzes. The episode ends. What do we got here? We’re going through all the supporters. Then Episode 9 starts. One problem with our escape plan — Codex says — you can't go out my window. It doesn't open all the way. So, that was inconvenient. So, we went…opened a heating vent, went through the crawlspace…no, we went out the back door. I’m kidding. Why? I don't know why, but I couldn't let Bladezz ruin everything. It’s all I have. Then she’s like, I can't believe I just said that.

 

Really good faces Felicia Day…or Codex makes. Then we have the opening and The Guild. Okay, we go to Cheesy Beard’s. It starts with Clara and Vork sitting at a table. Not exactly sure what Vork’s brought. Somebody comes by, puts water down…oh, he takes a orange soda out of his vest. He asks for a empty cup. All this walking around…they’ve got to carry all my things. Then Tink returns with the children. She’s wearing oven mitts to carry the kids. Never again. Did you have fun with Aunty Tink? Mom’s having lunch, so we’ll go play around the restaurant. Tink’s on her DS…tons of newspapers. They say, okay, Zaboo’s plan…has a plan. He’s got a lot of newspapers. Bladezz comes in. She says, sit down. We have a proposal. They say, Tink, how’d you get…come over there?

 

She says, well, I made promises we don’t have to keep. She says, okay, anyway, let’s get to the point. Yeah, we want our money back. Negotiations aside, we’re offering you a chance to apologize, Vork says, and take down the video. Give the money back to the guild. Well, we thought you’d say that, so Zaboo and I drove around and got every copy of this, which is his child modelling, a picture of him child modelling, and he’s kind of working for a Hickory Dickory Farms type place. So, yeah, I cried in Codex’s bathroom, so I owed her one, Zaboo says. Auto-search…he has auto-search set up on everyone he meets in reality. So, that’s how he recognized you. I kinda know everything. So, you knew your modelling alieness…Fin Smolders. What kind of name is Fin Smolders? My mom made me go to pay for college, go into modelling.

 

Then they find his headshots, which are pretty funny and not very tough. We could all send these to your school newspaper. What’ll it be? He says…he starts to cry, almost. Fine, you guys win. I’ll send the bank back to Vork. I can't believe you noobs got me. Great. Grats, he says. Codex is very happy. I think I’m gonna be…I got a tummy-tum-tum. I don't know, I thought this was…no one else feels good about it. We saved the guild, though, she says. Tink just beat Mario. You’re right, Codex. Yeah, it’s too bad we had to hurt his feelings, but we could still make our 2:00 p.m. raid. Then Zaboo’s mother shows up. He thought he had got rid of his tracking software. She goes, no, Zaboo. We got past Bladezz; now we have to help Zaboo beat the scariest boss of all time, his mother.

 

That episode closes with, I assume, the season…the first season finale, which will be a boss level or something. Okay, Codex is having a pudding cup. Episode 10, Boss…Big Boss Battle Dance-Off or whatever. She’s having a pudding cup. I never really felt in control of my life. That’s why I like video games. So much easier to measure life in experience points. When I went to Cheesy Beard’s and saw…I had this surge of confidence and I could take on something bigger and tougher than anything I ever had before, 'cause I had the guild as backup. Pretty cool, and this is really good pudding. So, pretty cool because she has the guild as backup. Okay, then we get the music again…opening. The Guild…and we zoom on his mom. Yeah, there’s no way. I can't stand up to my mom. She’s a formidable opponent.

 

This could be a group-building exercise, Vork says. Okay, what do we got? Well, she has…she’s talking and…tough…potion’s ready. Let me make the pull…I don't know what that is. She called me homely. They say, okay, we’ll defend you. So, they head out. They stand in…as a team against her, in front of her. She says, I missed three Pilates classes 'cause of this escapade of yours. Let’s get in the car. She says, Mrs. Goldberg, Zaboo has something to say to you. Can't you see, she says to her son? I don't know if you should…and she breathes smoke out her nose when he stands up to her, fire in the eyes…and madam, Zaboo is on record that he doesn't wish to go home. I can notarize a statement in writing. I have my own seal. I’m a notary republic. Sorry, this is family business. Your bald authority means nothing to me.

 

They say, okay. She goes, I like your dress. Clara says, I like your dress. How many unemployed people are you using, son? Listen, your son doesn't want to live with you anymore. I mean, my kids are pretty independent, and if you love him, just listen. I’m out of mana, so…but they say, good job, Clara. Then she…Codex says, yeah, he just wants to live his own life. You’re stealing my son. She makes a little…she comments on some of her dressing. Get off our healer. She says, okay, son. I’m just trying to be the best mother I can. This isn't the first time this has happened and I’ve had to get you out of trouble. Wait, what? Come home with me, please. She tries a thing…and Zaboo’s losing it. Please, please, please…then she uses the Electric Slide. Then Codex says, no, Zaboo. You have to make your own decisions.

 

She’s my mommy. It’s his mind. Vork, you gotta do something. Tears…and then Bladezz pops up and says, Zaboo’s mom, chill. I could replace Zaboo as your son. She goes, thanks, but no thanks. I don't want another son. Clearly my son…your son needs his own space. So, they stun her. Heal him up, Codex. Zaboo, you could tell her. We’re here for you. He says, mom, I’m tired of you treating me like a little kid. I’m an adult and I want to be able to do whatever I want, okay? So, I love you and…okay? I’m not going home. She says, I’m gonna rest. This is a little bit unexpected, but that’s a fake. She goes, don’t bother changing your mind. I’m gonna make your room into a sewing room. Goodbye. She goes off. Socially maladjusted. No way. Then Zaboo says, just a second. Mom, how about a goodbye hug?

 

She says, no, thank you. Then we fade out. We fade back in. She’s driving off. Is she gone? But there’s…could be a respawn timer. Clara, where are your kids? Oh yeah, right. Good question. Hey, thanks for coming out. Thanks for popping up, Bladezz. Sorry about my attitude. I took my modelling stress out on you guys. Well, you fought well for the guild. Too bad she didn’t drop any loot. Well, I’m the loot, like the Jewel of the Nile, Zaboo says. That episode comes to a close. Let’s just see what happens with auto-play here. Nothing. So, that’s the end of Season 1, but don't worry, Season 2 is right here. Okay, so Season 2 opens with Codex talking, and her and Zaboo are doing laundry. She’s definitely in a different place. Zaboo’s still here, which came in handy 'cause we have to move out.

 

Turns out his mom is in real estate, so I have to move no matter what. So, been a great weekend packing up my stuff. He has nowhere to go. He’s got no money. We need him for raid DPS. I don't know what that means, but…worst loot ever. So, call right back…improved opening, really improved, actually. Seeing it back-to-back, the animation’s great. Not that the other animation was bad; it’s just, I know from bootstrapping it. Episode 1, Link the Loot. Okay, Clara’s telling her kids a bedtime story or reading while she’s playing the game and mixing it together. So, a little bit of Sleep With Me. Cluck, cluck…okay, get your character. Come on, we gotta get to work here. Let’s heal that spot…healing us all. Zaboo, you’re supposed to be playing in the kitchen. I can't; I’m cooking brisket in there. Well, I can't focus in there.

 

Okay, well, we gotta work together as a team. Our performance is down. I got $0.72 cents of…in the air fryer of tater tots. Okay, Bladezz takes care of it. So, they take it and then they say, wait a second, that’s…they go back and forth giving each other a hard time. Here’s the loot. Holy guacamole. They can't believe it’s the orb of something, and everybody wants it. Now, this is interesting…starts the new quest line. If you have the orb, you can change your hairstyle and hair color any time you want. Only a 3% drop rate. Okay, who wants it? Start bidding. So, most people don’t have any…I think it’s between Tink and Clara. They’re the only ones with gold available. Then he says, Codex…dude, you gotta go online and find a job and a place to live. He goes, what about the couch? Then…Orb of Narv or something.

 

Okay, pink ponytails first…Clara’s like, okay, let me see how much I have. Then we meet her husband for the first time with the kids. Hey, we gotta pack the car. We’re getting ready to go to Vermont. Come on, we’re leaving tomorrow, so…your sister’s getting married, remember? Oh yeah, the wedding, right? Okay, whatever. Can't you pack everything and get the toys? Clara’s like, I want it. Tink’s like, I want it, the orb. The taters are not in good shape. Vork’s looking at those. A lot more lighting and stuff like that. Then…oh, so then there’s this funny moment. It takes place at 3:57 or so. So, they start talking about a T1 line and Zaboo says, I could get a T1 line installed here, and…which is very fast.

 

It’s funny 'cause I just got new internet and it’s about as half as fast as a T1 line if you’re plugged directly in, which actually is helpful for uploading stuff. She says, wait, a T1 line? Then Vork’s like, where are the bids? Thirty seconds, and I mean it. This is serious. Clara’s like, I’m trying to find where my points are…a blue Post-it…then her husband’s like, hey, honey, you want me to help you find it? He goes to open the gate and he lets the kids into her room for the first time. They run to her mom…mommy, mommy. Then it’s just this really funny sequence. Meanwhile, Codex and Zaboo are talking romantically about fiber-optic tables…cables. 1.54 megabits a second; so fast. While Clara’s kids are messing up her computer stuff and unplugging stuff…99.8% up time.

 

We can download every unicorn movie made in approximately 2.8 minutes, maybe 2.6. Clara loses her internet at the same time as Zaboo and Codex seem to be about to kiss, enthralled in their discussions of T1 lines. Pretty close, and that’s when we get…cut back. There’s a Robert Frost poem I learned in college, something about two roads and…I don't know. Bad analogy. Anywhere…there’s a moment where Zaboo was about to kiss me and I totally froze 'cause I knew what could happen next. We could be not a great idea. Choose-your-own-adventure books I was never good at. I always picked the not-good endings. So stressful. Exactly like that, but kissing. I need to look up that poem again. That’s all Codex. So, that’s the start of Episode 2. So, they’re going in for a kissy-poo, almost.

 

Zero latency…and Clara’s trying to get plugged back in, but Tink won the orb. She outbid everybody 'cause everybody else was distracted. Clara’s not happy with her husband and the kids. Mom needs a moment. Zaboo’s like, wait a second, I thought we were about to kiss or something. No, Tink was awarded the highest bidder. It’s the rules. Paragraph 24, Section something. Then Zaboo tries to put RAM in his pants, eight gigs of RAM in his pants. Thought the T1 line was romantic, but it’s not. Talks about being buffed…and Codex says, let me try to explain this to you in a way you might understand. This is it. You’re a new character. You’re alone for the first time in your life, living off of me. It’s not cool. You need to be a independent man…major levelling up. So, head off, man. He thinks…he says, okay, you think I’m gonna start…?

 

Okay, I’m a starting character. Then everybody’s talking about…oh, Clara’s like, I can't believe I couldn't win that thing. I had to deal with my family. We followed guild procedures. Tink says, relax. Bladezz is complimenting Tink. I thought Clara was a frost mage. The orb is bound to Tink’s character. Okay, well, it’s fine. I’ll deal with my family. Codex, your quest is accepted. Zaboo says, I’m going to level myself up and earn your love. She goes, you’re leaving? He goes, yeah. Don’t get me wrong but, yeah, it’s a long quest, so, goodbye, my love. I will return. She goes, wait a second. I’m not stopping you; it’s just that…where are you gonna go, exactly? He goes, yeah, I’ll find someplace with dial-up. She goes, dial-up? You can't do that. My mom cancelled my credit cards, so I can't do that.

 

Zaboo can't go somewhere where there’s dial-up. Everybody tell him. He says, I have to step forth and blossom, so I can't be bothered by guild drama. Oh no, that’s what Vork says. Vork’s mining gold and…as a freelancer for somebody else. Okay, so, I gotta get to work. I need to make that money 'cause I spent so much money at Cheesy Beard’s. Then she says, Zaboo’s got tons of gold. He’s really good at gold things. He needs a mentor. Vork? Then he says, my ketchup keg is expired. Problem solved; you need a roommate and Zaboo needs a mentor. So, then we go back. Vork and Zaboo rooming together is perfect. This is Codex talking to the camera.

 

Okay, Vork wasn’t sure at first, but he finally came around after he got a screenshot of Zaboo’s game bank and two reference letters from Bladezz and Clara and some sort of…checking his score. Perfect. They have the same interests or interest, and getting Zaboo out of my apartment; priceless. Malone…we could run around the house outside in my robe. So, she does that. Seventeen seconds; personal best. Makes a funny face…we get the opening sequence. I like this team up — I think it’s really well done — of Zaboo and Vork. It’s just funny. It kind of seems like it’s gonna go one way, but it kinda goes another way. So, at first they’re looking for Vork’s place and he’s trying to…he’s always about…his place is not super clean on the outside, but that must have been by design. So, they knock on the door.

 

He says, before you could come in, you gotta sign all this paperwork. He has a Oxford shirt on. Zaboo’s changed clothes for the first time. NDA to enter a house? Vork says, I require everyone to sign it, hypothetically. Zaboo loves it. He says, great. I’m already blossoming. Let’s come inside. He goes, usually I don't have visitors, so…my grandfather used to live here. Zaboo’s already getting comfortable. We can hang out. Is this the room we’re gonna hang out in? He always says yes, I guess 'cause…so, it’s funny. So, then they walk through the living room and Vork says, this is my bedroom. If you enter it…you’re not welcome there, so don’t ever come in my room. This is the bathroom. Parametered, he says. Then he said, this would have been your bedroom if there was a architect, but…he goes, that’s not objectionable, so let me show you.

 

He goes, oh, that’s a room filled with functional items people throw away every day. Rent’s due on the 15th…300 pieces of gold transferred to my character, 400 pieces of ore for a deposit, 200 non-refundable. Why is there ice in your fridge? Ice is cheaper than electricity, he says, 'cause I’m a non-paid professional guild master, but I gotta keep it thin. But Zaboo’s like, I’m cool with this. He goes, you’ll be living with the birds. So, he has quite a bird collection, and he also has a children’s day bed for Zaboo to sleep in. These aren’t pigeons; these are squab. Glad for you to meet them. Zaboo’s totally comfortable. He lies down in his children’s day bed and gets comfortable. He goes, well, how do you get online, though? Then they go out back. There’s something called Daddy’s Dog House which is a shed.

 

Technically it belongs to the house behind us, but I moved it back three inches. Now it’s completely on my property…my fence every couple months. So, excellent Wifi connection next door. So, that’s where he’s been playing from. Zaboo, you owe me 300 gold pieces. Yes, can do. Then Codex says, you’re like a puppy. I’m not sure I can leave you in this new home. He goes, oh, you’re really concerned, huh? He goes, did it work already? She goes, no, no, no, that’s not what I mean. Then he goes, we have a 2:00 p.m. adventure. Make sure you give him food and water twice a day. Then he says, Codex, you’re still my primary quest line. Then he says, alright, let’s do this. But then he’s also searching…hey, charms…howtobecharming.com.

 

Codex runs back into her place to make sure the 2:00 p.m. appointment…she runs up the stairs and she bumps into her neighbor. He is a…first it looks like he had to tie his shoe, but we see that’s the end of that episode. So, that was the end of Episode 3, Quest Accepted. Then we go to Episode 4, Heroic Encounter. She talks about in-game adventures. It’s not a form of sublimation. Rent check…no, no, I’ll take everything on. She goes, theoretically I’m a vegetarian. I’m strict. She goes, so, when I saw this guy needing help tying my…tying his shoes, first I didn’t want to help, but part of me did. I just…I was cool. Then she does a thing from Kids in the Hall where you put your fingers over your eye. Okay, then it opens and we have the guild. Watch the guild…she sees him with his shoe untied. She says, are you alright?

 

Do you need some help tying your shoe? He ties his shoe without his hands and she goes, how did you do that? He goes, oh, I’m playing a role tomorrow. Wade Way, apartment 20, stunt man…stunt guy. Cool. He goes, yeah, I can do stuff like that. He goes, like extreme walking and stuff. She goes, I’m Codex. I mean, Cyd, Cyd Sherman, 16. Right, you just moved in with your hubby. No, no, no, that’s not my hubby…temporary roommate situation. Well, he said you were the Shermans in flatware patterns and registry. She goes, that was just a joke. He’s not here anymore. He’s just a friend. Just a friend, by the way. Misconceptions…he goes, that’s cute. She goes, I don't know how to repond to that. She goes, I’m sorry, I gotta go. I’m late for an online appointment. Sorry, I gotta go. She was a little speechless.

 

He goes, see you around, Red. Then he goes this action move which is very cool. She waves with her fingers and it’s like, holy cow, I’m late for this 2:00 p.m. action. We see her new room. Same bedspread, though…bed laid out in a different direction. Zaboo’s talking about his strategies. Please don’t disturb my XL loot tables. Tink is not happy about the orb 'cause she needs to do a lot of farming to make it work. Then she kinda realizes something. First she is like, oh, I’m not dating my boyfriend anymore. Then Codex is like, okay, I need to have a quick talk. Clara’s family heads to the wedding without her. She busts out a beer. So, then we separate the guild so it’s Bladezz, Vork, and Zaboo talking. It’s very Zoom-like, actually. Codex talks about the stunt guy. They say, okay, well…they’re actually being supportive.

 

She goes, I’ve never…he has muscle tone. She goes, so that’s kind of unusual. They say, okay, well, interesting. What do you think is gonna happen? She goes, well, he needed help tying his shoes and then he tied his shoes without using his hands. They say, holy cow. Then Vork and Zaboo’s like, what do I need to do to get people to like me? Vork doesn't want to talk about it. Bladezz says, you give people a hard time. That’s how you get people to like me. They say, okay, well, I have links, hearts, and I have other components I could give away. Zaboo says, that’s not working for me. Vork says, it’s not…this isn't a long-term thing and it’s not gonna work. So, it’s kinda like these two…Bladezz, I think, decides he has a crush on Tink and he’s gonna get her to like him, and Zaboo’s still trying to get Codex to like him.

 

But then also Codex is confused about the stunt guy, Wade, right? Clara’s like, I told my husband to go to the wedding 'cause I didn’t want to go. I made up a lie, actually, about something so my husband would have to take the kids, 'cause they’re flower girls. You skipped your sister’s wedding? Yeah, lie and good things will happen. They say, okay, let’s get back to the game. Mommy needs an orb. Okay, we know we’re doing two-to-four. We’re doing action as a team. So, then she opens up another computer so she can do her farming. Then Bladezz offers Tink help with her farming. He goes, oh yeah, I could totally help you. She goes, okay, great. That’d be terrific. She’s kinda faking nice. Then something else pops up. Vork just said, right in the middle of the Guild Hall? Oh, it was Clara.

 

She faked him out so they couldn't go on their thing. Season 3 coming August 2009. Alright, I think we got time for one more here. So, this is watch The Guild…Knights of Good…okay, so, then Codex is like, yeah, I’m not really handy at flirting, right? And I’m not really…I’m not…I’m just not good at it. I’m kinda like Scoots. She goes, after getting used to Zaboo’s bolder statements of interest, I couldn't tell the read on the stunt guy anyway. Were we flirting or were we just friend…? I don't know. She makes a face. The opening starts. We see all the characters and…watchtheguild.com…of course the music, then of course Vork’s making food in multiple food-making machines. Zaboo’s working out without a shirt on, embracing the tiger within, and kinda talking about masculinity into the mirror.

 

He’s using giant mustard containers to work out with. He goes, yeah, I’m learning on the internet what it means to be tough. He’s got gloves on. Number one, buff it up. That’s the number-one advice on the internet. Get muscular. Also, I know she used to play He-Man with…so he was like, I’m trying to become a He-Man. He can't even hold onto the mustard, though. He goes, this is really awesome, working out. He goes…Vork goes, as a reminder, this morning…he goes, you need to start showering at the gym, not in my residence. He says, ten-four. He goes, but we’re having the time of our lives. 300 gold, 300 gold…Vork gets taken out…so, they can't get out…go on any missions 'cause Clara is trying to…she’s partying home alone. Teaser for Tots knows my schedule and is always waiting for me.

 

So, I’m using a NASA simulation program to figure this out. Zaboo’s talking about archery or golf, some kind of…let’s get sporting together, you and I, Vork. Let’s chest-bump. He goes, please don’t chest-bump me. Then we cut back to Clara. She is…oh no, this is…Codex is playing violin or she’s getting ready to, and she’s trying to play the game. 200 mushrooms for my orb quest…oh, Tink needs her homework done, so she’s having Bladezz do her homework. But she seems to be just…Bladezz is doing your homework? Yeah, but…I’ll send him a best-wishes e-card, maybe. You can't make him do stuff for you. She says, you’re the one to talk. You got Zaboo to move in with Vork. She goes, yeah, I had to. She goes, yeah, but you made him think that you might like him. She goes, it’s different.

 

She goes, come on, do you need to take a biology test? So, she talks about…Tink kinda lays out her philosophy of life. She goes, are you for real? Yeah, I’m for real. The stunt man’s home. He drives a motorcycle. Okay, let me know the whole log, everything. Get out there. She goes, we’re in the middle of clearing this orc-a-ma-thig…two heads. She says, Codex, go in there. It’s more important. She goes, yeah, I guess there’s no downside other than tears, tears for a rainy day. So, she takes her violin with her…oh, and she opens her door and…oh, so she’s faking violin-playing as he walks by. But he’s still in…it’s pretty funny. He’s in wardrobe, still, for a movie. So she’s like, what’s with that wardrobe? He goes, oh yeah, this is a wardrobe for a movie, where I’m in a action movie. So, it’s action wardrobe.

 

She goes, are those…what are those? She goes, are those pants or shorts? He goes, neither. She goes, those…are those board shorts? Those are longer than board shorts. What kind of…? So, they kinda have a disagreement over whether he was wearing pants or shorts or long shorts or short pants. She goes, I’m not comfortable with things that aren’t pants and aren't shorts. He goes, well, it’s wardrobe. Then they start talking about the online game. He’s like, online gaming? You’re kidding, right? That’s not really a thing. You wouldn't play a online game. That’s for people in The Simpsons. He goes, maybe…my roommate does have a gaming console, though, so maybe you could check it out. She’s still like, I can't get over these pant-shorts you have.

 

He goes, go ahead, touch the cuffs. Why don’t you measure and see how long they are? She goes, this is just not my thing. She goes, this is giving me a tummy-tum-tum trying to figure out whether you’re wearing pants or shorts. So, she gets a tummy-tum-tum and the episode actually comes to a close with that. I think that’s where we’ll close as well, right in the middle of the season there. We’ll be back with more Season 2 and Season 3 soon. Goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)