1337 – Waxing Wings on Labyrinths and Birdseed | Get Besos in the Sky PI Ep 6

Episode 1337 – Waxing Wings on Labyrinths and Birdseed | Get Besos in the Sky PI Ep 6

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that’s here to put you to sleep, to keep you company, to be your friend in the deep, dark night, to tell you a tale that you don’t have to listen to, to tell you a tale you don’t have to pay attention to, but to tell you a bedtime story eventually. First I’ll talk like a friend. I’ll come over…there’s that…I’d have to look it up. I’m always slow to say these words, but there’s this popular thing called a chatterbox, right? It probably has some connotation. But I say, what’s…? People call people chatterboxes. I’ve never been called a chatterbox before, but I think I’ve made…'cause it’s not like…this is like…it’s like chit…there’s chitchat, right, and then there’s chatter. I don't know what the difference is.

 

I guess chitchat is like ping-pong. You're chit-chatting. Huh, I never thought about that, either. Ping-pong, chitchat; very similar, maybe. I think so, because chattering is just the…it doesn't have the ‘chit’. I think the chit would be the…it’s like…maybe it’s based in…back when they had class systems, official ones, formal class systems. I’m the chit and you're the chat, right? Maybe not, though, 'cause why wouldn't it be…? I guess a chit box is different. Well, it sounds like something else, but…'cause ‘chit’ has more than one meaning. ‘Chat’ does, too. Right? I mean, chat cafe…okay, anyway, believe it or not, I’m supposed to be kicking off a sleep podcast here. So, if you're confused, welcome. My brain is…I’m trying to figure out…but anyway, this is Sleep With Me. Yes, it is a sleep podcast, and yeah, eventually it’ll put you to sleep.

 

I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, just chit, chit, chit, chattering in your ear in a friendly way so that you could barely pay attention to me, I could take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake, so you could fall asleep. So, I’m really glad you're here. Welcome. It does take a couple tries to get used to the show, so if you're already like, what is this guy…? I mean, you're right, though. I mean, you have to agree with me that ping-pong is when you hit the ball; you hit it back, and chitchat seems to be a two-way conversation, but a short conversation, a conversation about the basics, not too much depth to it. But it has to be a back and forth. So, that would…believe me…chatterbox…maybe it’s like a box that back in the day…is the silent movies…there seemed to be a lot more gags back then.

 

Like, maybe somebody gave people boxes that were chattering? I don't know. There used to be…holy cow, I’m trying to start a sleep podcast still. But once upon a time, one of the most funniest things…this was before my time, but I saw it and stuff…was a pair of wind-up teeth. It was a whole…well, it wasn’t a whole mouth, but it wasn’t just the teeth, either. You know what I’m saying? You’d wind it up and it would chatter. So, I wonder if a chatterbox is just that…it’s probably not, but you say, oh boy, am I gonna…I think that was Dennis the Menace. I don't know if Dennis the Menace ever did this, but I could see it happening, where you say, who invented the chatterbox? Oh, Dennis the Menace did, at least in this imaginary context. He took his pair of wind-up teeth and…isn't it…? Who’s…? Is it Wilson, Mr. Wilson?

 

I don't know. He wound up the teeth, put them in a box, and then put them outside Mr. Wilson’s door…knocked on the door. They said, what is this chattering in this chatterbox? It starts…and then maybe Dennis would sneak in the house. Every time they were trying to have a calm thing, he’d wind up the teeth again. I guess it would be better if Dennis put ‘Do not open until, whatever, eight months from that date’ so they would be like…they didn’t realize it had a false bottom. I don't know, a pretty long way to explain a episode of an imaginary…talk about irrelevant.

 

I mean my references, not any…not you, Dennis the Menace. So many people…I mean, a lot…enough…I’d say some percentage of our audience knows who Dennis the Menace is. There were some remakes. Anyway, I’m glad you're here. A little bit like Kevin McCallister, but even that’s…I mean, Kevin McCallister’s…but it’s still…the Kevin McCallister from Home Alone, yeah. Sorry. Okay, so, anyway, I’m glad you're here. Stay tuned 'cause there will be more going off topic and stuff. But yeah, this is a podcast to be your friend in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff, and keep you company. So, give it a few tries. See how it goes.

 

What we got coming up; support so paying for the show’s optional, a long, meandering intro after that meant to ease you into bedtime, and then a bedtime story from the world of Get Besos, Big Farm in the Sky PI, to ease you off into dreamland. So, thanks for stopping by, and we do this together. We make this show…or I’m able to be here for you because of all the people that support it. So, we do do it together. So, the best way to support the show is to support it directly on Sleep With Me+, support it wherever you're consuming it — some platforms have stuff — support our sponsors, or spread the word about the show. You'll hear me talking about that coming up right here, 'cause that’s how we get to be here for you. Thanks.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.

 

It could be thoughts on your mind, like thoughts you're thinking about about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, like maybe related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, feelings that are just making their appearance, feelings about Dennis the Menace or chattering or chit-chattering or chitchat or ping-pong. I mean, I’m sure there’s a large portion of people that play ping-pong that…or have played ping-pong that have feelings about it. I mean, I guess in particular…I’m not good at it, so…I can only beat people that are not…obviously that I can beat. So, it’s weird; I think I play…I guess I play right-handed even though I’m left-handed. Or maybe I play left-handed. I’m not good with either hand. Ping-pong; not good with either hand.

 

Another thing that qualifies me to make a sleep podcast, I guess. So, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be traveling, you could be a guest, you could have guests, you could be working a different shift, you could be going through something, getting over something, in the middle of something. Whatever it is. The only reason I bring that stuff up is kinda like at the beginning of the show…the key to this show is you kinda feel seen and welcomed but in a comfortable way, in a non-intrusive way, right?

 

I want you to feel seen…whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, even if I don't understand it or I haven't been through it, that I understand that it’s not easy…that you're going through something and that…believe it or not, this is a hard hill to get over for a lot of people, but that there’s someone else in the world listening right now at this moment who can really relate to what you're going through, and maybe they’ve been listening to the podcast for six months, maybe they’ve been listening to it for eleven years, but they're rooting for you because they say, I found this show; I couldn't believe what…this nonsense this guy was talking about, and then I found myself falling asleep in the middle of him talking about nothing, and then I started listening to the show on a regular basis.

 

It changed my relationship with sleep, and I didn’t think it ever would. I had no idea to look for something like this, and I’m so grateful for it. So, I’m so grate…happy you found it, too. But it doesn't work for everybody. So, that’s what I mean. They're rooting for you, but it also means no pressure for you to like this show. They just hope it helps you the way it helped them. But you could see how it goes. The way it works…or, oh, one more thing that’s important is you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, so that you could live your life tomorrow, and ideally that you could get the sleep you need on a regular basis so you could be out there flourishing.

 

Our world needs you in it, and the world’s gonna be a better place if you're there…you don’t even have to be at your best. I don't know, ‘be at your best’; that’s too much pressure for me. But if you be at your okayest, or just…if you're just okay, right, 'cause you had a good night's sleep or a good night's sleep a few nights in a row because you don’t dread bedtime anymore…I mean, ideally I help change your life a little bit, but in a indirect way. I’m not here to change your life right upfront with song and dance or whatever, but to kinda just make your life suck less. That’s really what I’m here to do, to ease some suffering in the deep, dark night. So, the way I do it is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I start…I don't even know what I was talking about earlier. Honestly, it’ll take me ten or fifteen minutes to think about it. I still don’t know. I don't know what I was talking about earlier. But that’s okay, right? I’ll go off topic, I’ll get mixed up, then I’ll double back, I’ll repeat myself, and I’ll go on and on and on because I’m not here to tell you a straightforward story and I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, to be a pleasant companion in the deep, dark night, and that’s not for everybody. That’s one thing; if you don’t like the show, give it a few tries and see how it goes. That’s just what most regular listeners have said; yeah, it took a few tries for me to get used to the podcast.

 

The first time I listened, I didn’t have…it was not what I expected. I expected something much more serious and relaxing, seriously relaxing. I say, that’s exactly why I made the show, that whole term, seriously relaxing. The amount of times somebody said, seriously, relax…I said, what…how is that even possible? Like, I don't know…seriously, try to be in your body right now and stay calm. You say, but you said ‘seriously’. I can't…I don't…okay, seriously, just pause. I guess you don’t understand how I work, because when you say ‘seriously, stay calm’…they don’t get it. That’s the thing; that person or all those people that have said to me, seriously, try to…every time they try to check the old BP, I just tell them…not bother anymore.

 

I say, well, isn't there some sort of stealth way you could do that while I’m not paying attention? Because it’s just not gonna work. Or…you know, you've heard…it’s been a while since I’ve mentioned my hips before, but any time I’ve had to do any type of body instruction in person…and then they say…it could be yoga, Pilates, dance…I don't know what else, but they say, try to…can you bend at your waist? Can you not…or, can you move with your hips? I don't…try to relax your shoulders. Totally relaxed. Try to relax. Seriously, try to move your hips. I say…so, I don't know. That may be a qualifier…understanding that’s not the only qualifier for this show…but if you relate to anything I just said, you're in good company. Seriously, relax. I mean, I can't believe I don't talk about that all the time.

 

I say, this show is not serious, and if I say ‘seriously, relax’, it’s by accident because it’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard. They say, what are you laughing at? You just told me to…you said, seriously, calm down. They say, right, 'cause I’m serious about it. You gotta calm down. I gotta, whatever, take your pulse. I say, first…never mind. It’s just not gonna work. So, yeah, so, the show’s just not for everybody, I guess, but the people it’s for…is that what I was talking about? I went off…so far off topic because…just captured…I don't know if this is the term; captured my fancy, this whole idea of being seriously…but that does seem like they're…that’s why I started making the show, because when I couldn't sleep, it was a serious issue, but everybody that was serious about it didn’t understand it.

 

I don't know, that’s really one of the keys to this podcast, right? Everybody takes it so seriously, but they don’t necessarily know what it feels like. Yeah, there’s…sometimes there’s people that are insomniacs that are working on this stuff, but the people that give out advice, especially when you're a kid — I’m speaking, I guess, when I was a kid — they’d be so serious about it. I say, no, no, no, you don’t quite get it. That’s when they say, seriously, try to think of something nice. Try not…why don’t you not think at bedtime? Say, yeah, okay, thanks for that. Thanks for the advice. I’m gonna move on.

 

Or, yeah, seriously relax or…or I’d listen to stuff as a kid, and then moving into adulthood…and, I don't know, it just was in that serious-relax category, which is great for the people it’s great for, but you could tell it just won't work on me. So, I tried to find something that was different than that and on…I was like, let me make it. So, that’s why I make the show, and…but it’s not for everybody. So, give it a few tries. If you already loathe…if you're already like, seriously, I loathe you, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, 'cause I’m cool with that. Most people don’t like me. This podcast…the majority of people that check out the show, it just won't help unfortunately, but I have a list of other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there because you still deserve a good night's sleep even if you don’t like me.

 

That’s totally fine. I’m not everybody’s cup of tea. So, yeah. But just give it a few tries. That’s just what most people said. This is also a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just kinda barely listen to it, which…I may have done some good examples of why I barely deserve your attention already. So, it’s…yeah, just kinda like I’m like background noise you could listen to or someone you could kinda pay attention to. A lot of times now, I think we’ve moved into this phase which for me, intentionally, if I…I gotta…if I’m gonna watch something, I have to put everything away, right? That can be tough. I’m distracted. So, I’ll be watching something…and so, I either have to choose something that doesn't require a whole lot of my attention or pay attention.

 

I don't require a whole lot of your attention. I mean, you're probably going to bed, so you don’t have to be doing all the other stuff, but it’s like, those other things…if it’s something that’s…I’m supposed to be engaged by, then I’m like, I’m missing out on something. This, you don’t…you're not gonna miss out on anything. Don't worry, if you're barely paying attention to me, you could always…I’ll repeat it at some point in another episode, and I’ll think it’s the first time I ever brought it up. So, it’s a podcast you just barely listen to like a out-of-focus picture, sand running through your hands, or, yeah, like a TV on in the other room. This is also a sleep podcast. I don't know if it was the first sleep podcast for adults. I’m pretty sure it was, though, bedtime…that whole thing, but it’s not meant to put you to sleep. That’s the funny thing.

 

More and more…and still people say…e-mail…hey, I’m gonna do what you're doing, this version of your show. I say, okay, great, that’s cool, but my show isn't meant to put you to sleep. It’s meant to keep you company while you fall asleep. It’s meant…I’m meant to be…I’m here to be your bore-sib, your bore-bae, your neigh-bore, your Borebie, bore-bor, your bore-friend, your bores, your boreman, your Borlaf…I don't know, what else? Borebie…I already said that, right? Your best bore-friend f’eva, bore-sib, bore-cuz, bore-bestie. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. This show is over an hour so you don’t have to think about falling asleep.

 

You could play episode after episode after episode if you need to, 'cause I’m gonna be here to the very end whether you're awake or asleep, 'cause I’m here to keep you company no matter what, 'cause there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, and that’s just another thing I feel like works about this show, is that I’m here to barely entertain you for an hour plus whether you're listening or not. But all this takes some getting used to. But that’s the job I’m applying for, your rambling friend. So, those are…oh, the structure of the show also throws people off, really, but it’s…the way we structure the show is the way that helps the most people fall asleep, and you can adjust it depending on how you listen to the show.

 

But most people like listening to this ad-supported version of the show linearly, and so, that’s how we designed it. But the great thing about podcasts is you can kind of adjust it in your podcast app. What that means is the show starts off with a greeting, which kind of benefits everybody so you feel seen and welcomed in; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and then usually I go on some sort of silly tangent. Then there’s support so that paying for the podcast is optional, but if you want something without ads, you could get that on Sleep With Me+, and you get the podcast in an ad-free, full version and a ad-free, story-only version, which is the kind of next thing after the support, is a long, meandering intro which is meant to ease you into bedtime.

 

The intro goes on and on and on because it’s like where I try to explain what the podcast is, but I…and instead of doing it in a very fast and efficient way, I do it in a long, meandering way. But I follow the same structure every episode, but my meanders are generally different because, I don't know, that way the show can offer you something familiar but something different every time, surprising…I don't know, 'cause it’s just my experience; whatever keeps me awake at night, it just needs some variety. So, yeah, that’s the intro, and it goes on and on and on because most people…the show’s not designed for you to fall asleep during the intro. It’s cool if you do.

 

It’s a small percentage of people that do, and maybe I’ll talk about if you fall asleep during the intro or if you listen all night, because those are interesting use cases. But for most people, the intro eases them into bedtime as part of their wind-down routine. So, they're in bed getting comfortable, they're getting ready for bed, or they're doing a chill activity even if it’s almost nothing, to kinda have a break between the wake period of their evening and the falling-asleep part. That’s just what’s been shown to work and worked for me personally, is having a wind down. So, that’s what the intro serves. Then there will be support and then there will be our bedtime story.

 

So, the thing is, if you fall asleep during the intro, you're better off listening to maybe the story-only versions or a ad-free version, just 'cause the show…it’s not really a way we could design it…I guess on Sleep With Me+, there’s people that fall asleep to only-intro episodes, but there’s not a way we could do that every episode, you know? If you listen all night long to episode after episode after episode, you're definitely better off supporting the show, 'cause, again, it’s just…the ad-supported version’s just not…it’s just…it would be…it’s not really designed to do that. But that’s great; if the ad-supported…if you listen all night long and the ad-supported version works for you, that’s great.

 

But sometimes I get e-mails from people; it’s like, yeah, we just…there’s no way to design a free, ad-supported version for all-night listeners that’s perfect, you know? So, yeah. So…okay, so then, yeah, there’s a bedtime story. All told, we’ll be here over an hour. I don't know, and I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. Other people work on the show, too. I put a lot of thought into stuff with this podcast 'cause we really want to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we're able to do this for you regularly twice a week. Thanks.

 

Hey everybody, welcome to another episodically modular…our episodically modular series, Big Farm in the Sky…no, no, Get…Big Farm in the Sky, Get Besos PI. It’s a episodically modular series, which means you can listen to it in any order. I’m gonna catch you up on almost everything you need to know, but this episode will also be pretty standalone. There is a touch of seriality, but if…this should be Episode 6, but you could listen to these episodes in any order. Just pretend Episodes 1 through 5 were prequels that came out after, whenever you listen to them. You could listen to these in order; that’s why I number them, but you don’t need to, or you could listen to it for a second time in order. ‘Cause the first time, ideally, you're barely paying attention to me.

 

Even if I’m here and you're listening to me the whole time, I’m just here to keep you company, so you don’t even really have to pay too much attention to me. So, yeah…so, this series is about…it’s post…it’s about post-earthly realms, so just in case anything about post-earthly realms throws you off, it does take place in places called limbo and double hockey sticks and stuff like that, but it’s very sleepy anyway. In fact, I just listened to Episode 5 this morning, and it was fairly incomprehensible. I knew…'cause I knew what it was…everything was based on, and even when I was listening to it, I was like, whoa, this is very tough to follow.

 

This one follows…the main characters or the characters that are causing all the action are Richard Warren and James Cash, two friends who are in a post-earthly realm called the Beige World, a bit like limbo or purgatory, and they got bored there. They’ve had other adventures on Sleep With Me, but the beauty of our universe is that it’s resilient and the timelines are resilient. So, despite the fact…also, there’s fiction, believe it or not, but despite the fact that they were up to a lot of stuff in their other adventures, the universe just…it’s resilient. So, it got back on track. So…but in this adventure, they had returned to the Beige World, which is pretty boring, and then Richard Warren got the idea…well, his main motivator is getting…get Jiff. That’s Jiff Besos.

 

The kisses of Jiff, as they may say in other worlds. So, all three of these…Richard Warren and James Cash were titans of industry back when my parent…my parents’ time and even before that, retail empires. Then they left our realm, went to another realm, but they were watching this guy, Jiff, a totally fictional character, by the way, and he kind of had…he had…he has…he had, in this fictional tale, a retail empire that kinda caused the retail empires to go away. So, Richard Warren said, I think I’m gonna go back to Earth and get that guy and have a talking to him. That’s the only thing I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go to Earth, I’m gonna get him, and I’m gonna talk to him and say, you ruined my retail…whatever. So, that’s why he’s trying to get Besos.

 

He’s not trying to get kisses, but I mean, I don't know, that maybe would help him, but he’s not a very kissable character. So, on this current adventure, though, he had…he supposedly…this is before the story even started; he assigned Jiff…he said, okay, Jiff, let’s go to…I know there’s all these post-earthly realms that are not so great, a lot worse than the beige realm where there’s nothing to do, and there’s people in those realms, like someone that was spinning on a lighted wheel — I think his name is I-X-I-O-N or something — through the sky. That’s who they helped last time. Apparently in this realm, even fictional characters can exist like that. So, they went and found Javert from Les Mis. I think if you were saying, which Javert? I’d say somewhere between the original Broadway cast Javert and Russell Crowe Javert.

 

But essentially the essence of Javert. I mean, now I’m not…now I’m even…that word has lost meaning. But getting him out of his post-earthly realm…I don't know who else they’ve helped, really, but they also hired a PI to help them, the Big Farm in the Sky PI, who’s looking…so, Jiff had a list that RW had come up with of people he wanted rescued from post-earthly realms, and this list was missing. So, they said, why don’t we hire a PI to see if they could figure out where Jiff is? So, yeah, if this won't put you to sleep, it may…it’s gonna be full of pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. So, the Big Farm in the Sky PI is in this episode, and they…he’s looking for someone, and he’ll fill us in on all of that. So, yeah, he’s gonna look for somebody. Maybe he’ll find them. Maybe he won't.

 

That’s what…that’s all you need to know right now. Also, alls you need to know is our Hollywood announcer is here, and particularly right now when I’m recording this, we're thinking of you and everybody there and trying to keep it sleepy but also think about sending our lulls and our love to the Greater Los Angeles Area because you're in our hearts. Thank you, Scooter. Yes, the Greater Los Angeles Area is in my heart as well. Friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time to Get Besos Big Farm in the Sky PI. Yeah. Oh, thanks, Antonio. Thanks. Yeah, no, you probably need to rest and sit down; I know. Alright, so, that’s…this is Get Besos Big Farm in the Sky PI. Thanks, everybody.

 

Okay, hey, Diane, it’s me, and…recording a message for you, Diane. You might hear it in my voice, but these are not…I mean, I like James and I’m using all the tools in my toolbox, Diane, my interpersonal toolbox, to…I don't know, Diane. I mean, I’m trying to use the tools in my toolbox with this Richard Warren and say, okay, what is this…how is he a mirror to me? What am I supposed to be learning here? But it’s not easy, Diane. So, I guess I thought I’d put that on tape. Even a Big Farm in the Sky PI has bad days, Diane, and bad moods and gets…and is not perfect…thoughts of not being patient and kind and tolerant. So, we…I have a new case. Okay, so, I can't get any more help from G and DK because they are also now part of the case, or they have their hands full because of this Richard Warren and James.

 

They dropped off someone they had brought into their…the real Earth with G and DK. But I can't talk about that right now 'cause I haven't talked to them. I can only…that’s just another…I said, you did what? He said, anyway, we gotta get back to the case. What do you think I hired you for? Kinda…he had me because technically he’s my client, and I do have a code, Diane. You know it. I guess I have to adhere to this code and help my client or clients. But he’s my main client, Richard Warren, and I have been…I’m on…I guess he…well, I’ll tell you; the word ‘gumshoe’ has come up a few times. So much for…so much so, Diane, that I thought I’d even look it up, but I didn’t 'cause I knew even if I looked it up and told Richard Warren, he would tell me I was incorrect. So, that’s why I said, don’t even look it up.

 

So, now I know my temptation to look it up is futile, Diane. Okay, but thanks to G and DK, before this, we had made a breakthrough. We're trying to find out where Jiff is…we're trying to get that list from Jiff, I think, or get Jiff and find Jiff. G and DK…did I tell you this already, Diane? I don't remember anymore. So, this is confusing, right, because Jiff…we're not sure…I’m pretty…I’m almost positive Jiff’s a earthbound human like G and DK, but he’s not earthbound. But he’s a Earth-based human, Diane, but…or not earthbound. Okay, so, Jiff has been going through different post-earthly worlds. We’ve been following him…and not limited to ones I even knew about, Diane, but ones other people know about and are invested in.

 

Jiff’s been doing some re…not re…repurposing of different post-earthly realms, and I’ve been traveling through them. Not exactly sure if it’s a good or a bad thing, 'cause I’m always moving, but it doesn't…it’s baffling, Diane. But at the same time, that’s in the post-earthly realms. Now, on Earth, Jiff is a business person and he runs some big business, Imazon, and Jiff also has to name subsidiary companies or new companies he’s starting, and I guess with…they still sell URLs. Diane, do you believe that? Still on Earth, you gotta buy a URL and you gotta make sure…you want to pick a name that’s good but not a name that’s gonna cost too much money. So, Jiff…and you gotta register all that registration stuff. A paper trail, Diane; that’s what I meant. There’s a paper trail even though it’s not paper anymore.

 

So, Jiff has been registering companies based on the realms he’s visiting or is planning on visiting now, or at least that’s been G and DK’s…the last I spoke to them, they said, okay, we know where he’s gonna be coming up because…I don't know, there’s different processes of the two, Diane. I wasn’t paying too much attention. They just said, see, you were just there. Now there’s a company named that. Now, if it’s not available, I think Jiff just uses a different…he’s creative, or the people he works with are creative. So, that kinda gives us some idea where and…where he’s gonna be. Or, I have a list, alright, Diane? I guess that’s what I’m saying. So, I brought this to my client, Richard Warren and James, and I said, you want…?

 

He only wanted to talk…once he saw…he looked at the list; he said, okay, I need you to go get some birdseed. I said, birdseed? He said, yeah, go get some birdseed. That’s how…that’s not what he sounds like, Diane, but I think that’s the best I can do. I said, is that…? It’s not a code word. It’s not a rosebud. He was talking about birdseed. Not a red herring, Diane; actual birdseed. He said, go get some birdseed. I said, you want me to go get birdseed? Yeah. Go get some birdseed. Like I said, Diane, this is not…I said, can you tell me more? They said, yeah, you're gonna put birdseed in Jiff’s pocket. I said, I’m gonna put birdseed…what, are you repeat…what is this, a repeating game, he said? He said, get some birdseed, then go meet Jiff. Put the birdseed in his pocket, right here. He was pointing at the list we had.

 

I guess I was a little snarky, Diane. I don't know if he picked up on it, but…'cause I think he takes every…I said, okay, sure, I’ll just go to the birdseed store. He said, there’s no…he goes, there’s not a birdseed store. I said, the pet store. I’ll just walk down the street to the pet store. He said, well, I would go to a farm store if I was getting birdseed. I said, well, there’s not a lot of farm stores around here that I know of, or birds that need birdseed, either. He said, you're gonna need birdseed to put in Jiff’s pocket. I said, well…like that; I said, well…he said, I thought you were a private eye. Why don’t you private eye…why don’t you privately put your eyes on some birdseed so you have it to put in Jiff’s pocket? He said, well, okay. Do you…can you…? He said, farm store. I said, okay. Then he said, no, no, no, you're lucky I’m still here.

 

I said, how am I lucky? He said, the bird guy. I forgot all about the bird guy. But…okay, so, let me back up again to re-explain everything, 'cause…come on, Diane. Okay, so, we know where Jiff’s going, or we're pretty sure where he’s going, right? It’s all over the place as far as…it’s a good thing G and DK figured this out, 'cause it’s like, my idea’s…I have a limited window of even the post-earthly realm based on only my own experience, and across existences and time, people have a lot of other windows of experience and belief systems and stuff like that, Diane. So, it’s good because I wouldn't even have known to look in these places. I mean, eventually I could have researched it like we're doing, but one of these places…yes, Diane, is full of birds.

 

Now, it’s not the kind of birds that…they're like, big birds, not like Big Bird from Sesame Street, though. In fact, Diane, if you put Big Bird and Sesame Street in your mind, these birds would not be anything…you’d say, okay, now I have the concept of what these birds are not, other than big. These birds are eternal birds. Now, like Big Bird, they have a purpose; to help people, but this is a post-earthly, non-positive realm kinda help, if you get my drift, Diane. This is one of the realms they’d call purify…a purification realm. Now, it’s not eternal, which is nice, but I don't even think…one minute there might be too long, anyway. So, it’s a very warm place. You know when…you know, there is a game show now on Earth called…or there’s a lot of games…the floor is lava, right? In this place, that would be the case.

 

A lot of that. Then there’s these birds flying around who are helping you go through some sort of process to cleanse yourself, but by experience; not by bathing. The birds fly around and they greet you, they work with you, and…yeah, I guess…I think I got to the point, Diane. It’s not a place you want to be, and you definitely wouldn't want birdseed in your pocket. But the birds are gonna give you…I don't think RW realized this; if you're supposed to be there, the birds are gonna give you attention, anyway. He also didn’t…I said, I don't know if I can put birdseed in somebody’s pocket before they go into this bird realm. But I’m not at that point, so I don't have to cross that floor of L-A-V-A…whatever right now. Oh, and they're called…I think he said garudian birds.

 

I think that’s the incorrect way to say it, Diane, but that’s just what Richard and my client is telling me that I have to call them. So, I’m supposed to meet Jiff at…or wait for Jiff at the entrance. Time passes differently, but there’s pretty much a guarantee Jiff’s gonna be there, or I’ll know if he had been there. So, that was the plan until we got…that I could understand; get birdseed, wait for Jiff, put the birdseed in his pocket. I mean…and then wait…said, wait a second, what does this have to do with getting the list? But then Richard Warren said, oh, the bird guy; yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I’m doing your gumshoe for you. You're lucky I’m here. I said, what do you mean? He said, go to the bird guy. Get some birdseed. He’ll get you some birdseed. I said, the bird guy? Who’s the bird guy? He said, the famous bird guy.

 

You don’t know who the bird guy is? He moves around a lot. So, he’s a genius. Not stable, but he’s a genius, and he’s got wings. I said, like Harvey Birdman, the attorney? He said, what? No, no, no. I don't even know what you're talking about. No. He’s an inventor, not an attorney. I said, okay, well, that’s not…Harvey Birdman…hawk…? That’s not…he wasn’t…was there a hawk? He goes, no, no, he’s not a hawk. He’s a man. I said, well, you said bird man, so…and he said, he’s an inventor who flew his kid into the sun. Oh, like…and he said, yeah, he’s gonna need you…he’s probably gonna need…he’s gonna give you birdseed 'cause you're gonna have to help him first. I was like…and he said, oh, don't worry. He goes, I was…in fact, I was just brushing up on my myths.

 

Now that I think about it, this is really good we're talking about it, 'cause he…you know, when he was judged, one of the judges…it’s a good thing you brought up the bird…whatever, bird law or whatever, because for him, one of the judges was his old boss. I said, wait a second, one of his judges…are you talking about Harvey Birdman now? Diane, I think part of me knew he wasn’t talking about Harvey Birdman, but I was like…I didn’t know how else to act. I guess I was being passively aggressive. But also, I didn’t…he said, no, no, no, the guy who flew his son into the sun…into the sun. Son into the sun; it’s a famous thing. He…when he left Earth, his judge was his old boss, who…they didn’t part ways in a equitable basis. I said, so his old boss was his judge for his post-earthly…? Yeah, what a rip-off, he said. There’s no way.

 

That’s just not okay. I mean, who lets someone be…? He should be regused or whatever, being a judge when it’s your old boss. How is that gonna be fair? So, you gotta go get the bird guy, then get the birdseed, then give it to Jiff. Then I realized the son…and I said, you mean Daedalus? He said, of course, he’s post-earthly. I mean his name. Oh, no, no, I know his name. Yes, that’s his name. I said, but what if Jiff…? He goes, don't worry. Just go get him. He’s actually really smart. He could probably come up with an invention of birdseed or a birdseed place or something, and he’s got wings. It’s just not fair. I don't know what he’s doing, but you go find out what he’s doing, get him out of there, and then go get…and I said, okay, I gotta find Daedalus.

 

Now, luckily, Diane, there’s James, who…I mean, I don't know, my feelings for James are not exactly wonderful, but he does do a lot of listening now. He doesn't interact with me and RW as much anymore. I think he wants to take a break or he keeps in touch with other people, but he does find out a lot. So, he was like, don't worry, I’ve been…he came over; he said, hey…he took…he’s a nice guy. But it is one of those friendship things. I say, what…? He goes, don't worry. He goes, yeah, you’ll…he goes, go help Daedalus. He goes, it does sound like it probably isn't a great situation, and he’ll probably be useful. He goes, you don’t have to put…he goes, just talk to Jiff. Don’t worry…you know. He goes, as long as Richie thinks there’s birdseed, it’s fine.

 

He goes, I’ve been talking to this cloud-based…he goes, so, I have a good idea of where Daedalus is. I said, where? He goes, the labyrinth. It’s not great, but he goes…he gave me directions. So, luckily in this situation, we had some overlap. But I said, well, if he’s in the kind of…this, whatever, robe-wearing, post-earthly realm with all these mythologies, these birds are not anywhere near…he goes, don’t…he goes, come on, you're…come on, Big Farm in the Sky PI. You know better. He told me just to breathe, and he said, don't worry, when you help Daedalus, you'll feel a lot better. He probably needs a friend…he’s probably only…needed a friend the whole time. So, now I’m like…Diane, I’m gonna pause two seconds, and then you'll probably hear my next recording.

 

Okay, Diane, it’s me, and I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’ve met Daedalus, and Daedalus is very driven. I guess you'd call…I guess he comes…he fits in that box of a studious inventor. He’s only…so, he doesn't totally realize what’s happening. I guess I didn’t think about that, in this sense, RW is right. So, he doesn't…he only has a sense of…let me just walk through it, Diane, 'cause it’s not so great. So, remember, he was involved with the labyrinth. That was one of the things, like a giant maze. I mean, a giant maze, Diane. I don't know if there is a difference, but this is a giant maze, but it’s on multiple levels. Oh, good news, Diane, though; before I had done some reading up, so I brought some line. I didn’t bring yarn or string, but I brought a hundred-pound line. It is…well, I got the one that’s not translucent.

 

It’s kind of a neon purple. So, I have that, and I brought two spools, and they're from this realm. Okay, Diane, ha, ha, ha, where did I get those? Yep, post-earthly fishing, imaginary…you could still get Earth stuff up here, Diane. It was just that…I just didn’t like how he was asking me to get birdseed. He was assuming. Okay, but this is a doozy, and again, I hate to say that Richard Warren’s right, but he…this does not seem like a very nice way to spend your time. This is one of these eternal realms. So basically, Daedalus is in charge of building this labyrinth. So, that’s what he’s kind of focused on, the sand and the Vaseline. He honestly thinks if he can complete this thing, then it’ll all be fine. Now, not consistently, but it does rain feathers here and it also…or snows like feathers.

 

It also…there’s…sometimes it’s a specific dripping of wax and sometimes it just rains wax. So, we both are covered in feathers because…and then it also drips on his shoulders. So, it does look like he has wings and I have wings now. When you have wings, when you kinda look over your shoulder and you see a wing…'cause they're…they look good, Diane. I guess…I don't know, but he looks like a bird man. He always…he doesn't see himself, so he always calls…he calls me the bird man. He would get me mixed up, but there’s other things happening. But so, he’s working on this labyrinth. I gotta get this done, then I could get to my son. I could deal with the…he’s got a lot of stuff he’s gotta deal with. So, he…but the thing is, always while he’s working on it…he’s working on one of the upper floors.

 

Then he has to go visit…unexpectedly to one of the lower floors. Then while he’s doing that, he realizes he has wings on, and then he tries to use those wings. They don’t work. Then since I’ve been there…then he says, okay, we gotta work on these wings. So, the next time this happens…so, then he works on a superstructure for these wax wings, and that does…then he’s like, okay, we gotta get back to work on this labyrinth. Now, luckily…this must be post-earthly line, because I haven't…I don't think I’m gonna be lost in here, but whatever, Diane. There’s a lot of line I’ve left behind me, 'cause I keep going up and down and whatever. But so, then those wings don’t work. So, it’s like he’s constantly building, the wings don’t work when we could use them, but we're post-earthly.

 

Then kinda like what feels…so, that’s probably the first half of a work day. Then he has a meeting with his client, who’s calling from a cloud, like a all-powerful client, and he has to give a status report and also tell what he needs. Then always, the client’s like, whoa, boy, you're never gonna get finished by the time you're supposed to be done. You better pick it up. You better pick it up. Then Sis…I called him Sisyphus, Diane, because…but then Daedalus says, well, I…did you get my request for more materials and tools? Then the client always says, don't worry, you go back to the workshop. There’s gonna be brand-new tools there waiting for you, because I want to get you there. I want you to get done.

 

Okay, then he go…we go to the workshop, and then he’s…then he starts…the whole time…I mean, he really is smart, but probably not…too smart for his own good, Diane. Then the whole time he’s thinking, okay, I gotta get…this is what we're gonna do now that we got these new tools, and the tools look really good. I think they may be from RW’s store, too, Diane, which is like…but then he starts to use the tools after he’s planned everything, and the tools are misaligned. So, he comes up with these perfect plans of how we're gonna get the whole job done on time. I don't know, I guess he’s probably a contractor in another realm, Diane, but…and then as soon as he goes to use the tools, nothing’s straight. Then he kinda says, well, we just gotta get back to work, anyway. We're gonna have to do our best.

 

Now, at some point we start to make a little bit of progress, or he does, but now I’m helping him. Right when we start to make progress, then Talos, who’s his nephew, starts appearing from a Casper realm. He just kind of…the rest of the work day points out all of the mistakes that Daedalus is making, over and…oh boy, Diane. It’s not as bad as Richard Warren, but like that. He also…'cause it’s not earthly, he has the ability to project into our minds; oh, look, you missed that spot back there. I can't believe we're having to paint…a lot of work to make a labyrinth, 'cause this is like a fancy, rich-people’s labyrinth. Right, Diane? Maybe I didn’t explain that. Maybe I just thought you would know that. It’s not like a hedge maze or a corn…it’s like…I didn’t even think…even on Earth somebody wouldn't do this.

 

It’s…oh, no, no, that’s not…that molding is not perfectly flush. Okay, that goes on all day, right? Then you start to hear stuff falling apart. So, then Talos stops with that…whatever. So, then we have another post-day meeting where, again, this guy doesn't stop processing. Okay, we're…he wants to go over the winds…I say, winds? They say…I tried to reason with him, but he’s so focused on work, Diane. I say, he just gotta listen to me for a few minutes. We're gonna get outta here. I just gotta figure out a plan. He goes, great, yeah, the plan for tomorrow. Let’s go over our winds. He’s like…he says, persistence. We're persisting. But then at some point, his son, the son from the sun, Diane…at first it’s like we're eating. So, then it’s another thing where it feels good.

 

You say, okay, now there’s a meal that’s set out for us, and we're gonna eat a meal and watch the sunset. We're like, he’s already had the post-work meeting, so it’s…we're just gonna eat and go to bed and watch the sunset…go to bed as soon as the sun sets. That’s what he says. Of course, then it’s the whole thing with his son, saying, papa, look at me, papa, look…oh man, Diane. Then we go to sleep, but, you know, it’s…all night long, as soon as you close your eyes…oh, papa, come on, the full moon…I’m flying. So, that’s what every day for Daedalus is like, Diane. But I’ve been talking to him while we’ve been doing this. I don't know how many days I’ve been here, Diane, either.

 

You could probably tell, 'cause I didn’t know as much about him…not a great…not the greatest example for his son, anyway, or anybody anywhere. But I said, okay, he has done…he has a lot of people that owe him favors, Diane. So, my plan is…I’ll be back with my plan, Diane, because I think I got a decent plan. Okay, Diane, so, I’m back again, and let me just tell you about the plan. It didn’t quite to go plan. First I thought I’d get ahold of Poseidon, right? ‘Cause I followed my…I said, well, I don't have to stay here. I followed my string…my line back, and then I tried to track…I tried to get a meeting with Poseidon. No, no dice. ‘Cause as far as I could tell, a lot of this was Poseidon’s fault. Now, Poseidon’s, whatever, assistant said, why don’t you talk to…why don’t you go to this show? They're doing rehearsals. I said, another show? 

 

Now, this was…it was…so, Minos? I don't know, that’s the judge. That was his old boss. Poseidon had set…there’s a…let’s just say there’s a guy named Bull, 'cause there was on Night Court, right, Diane? Not Bull from Night Court, but we’ll just say Bull from Night Court just so we understand each other. So, there was Minos, who was a king, then there was Bull from Night Court, and then there was Minos’ wife. We’ll say her name was Penny. Now, something Minos did got under…got Poseidon irritable. So, Poseidon decided that Penny and Bull would fall in love with each other. Now, Minos…Daedalus worked for Minos, and his wife said, hey, you're a great inventor. You're a great craftsman. I need you to make a set of Night Court for me. He said, why?

 

Or maybe she laid out the situation, and he said, well, I think a set of Night Court would be good, because then Minos won't suspect anything, because you could just place Bull there the whole time. So, he built a set of Night Court, and…but that set was not used for the production of Night Court. It was more used for them to hang out on the set of Night Court, if you catch my drift, Penny and Bull. I think Bull was…was Bull ever in love with…? Diane, do you remember? Did you watch Night Court? You don’t know? Okay. Okay, but so, now they have a show where they do…it’s weird, Diane, but it’s cool. They do…they use the set from Night Court and the characters from Night Court to stage other plays, and they also do other stuff, but it’s a interesting idea. So, I said, hey Penny, hey Bull, how you doing?

 

Hey, remember you two ended up…you ended up breaking up with Minos. You two got together, and it was because of this guy. So, he could use your help. Remember the guy that built the set? You seem to keep using this set of Night Court. Are you willing to help him out now? Because, actually, Minos was his judge and it didn’t work out so hot. They said, well…and I said, well, are you willing to help him or not? I’m just here asking questions. They said, sure. I said, okay, great. I’ll get back to you. Okay, so that was one group of people. Then, let’s see, how do I describe this next thing? So, then Penny and Minos had a child, right? But also…there’s a lot of children involved in this, Diane. They decided…how do I describe this? Well, so, Penny and Minos decided that their daughter, Ariane, I think is her name.

 

We’ll just say that, Diane, you know. Ariane…I can't say it, Diane. It just makes me embarrassed. Ariadne…Ariana. So, they decided they didn’t want Ariana watching any TV, right? So, they hid the only TV in the house deep in the labyrinth where no one could watch it, right? This was back when…I mean, TV wasn’t even a thing there, but the equivalent of TV, right, Diane? These demigod existences are out there. Okay, so then she would sneak into the labyrinth, right, to watch these shows. Now, meanwhile, there was another place where…they would send their kids there, 'cause Minos said, anybody that…kids watch too much TV under my kingdom, send them to me and we’ll put them in a maze that’s…this maze is impenetrable. If they want to try to find the TV, they can. They never will.

 

So, Theseus was one of these kids, the great hero. Ariana and Theseus fell in love, and then they were trying to find the TV together. But then I said…then…oh no, not…I’m getting myself…but then, this is where Daedalus was like…he does…but despite his bad choices, he empathizes. He did; I’ll make a set of Night Court. If you're in love, you can be in love on the set of Night Court. Then he said, if you want to go watch TV together but not be lost in this maze, I’ll give you balls of string that lead to the TV and lead back. That way, if you're in love…these two kids are in love. They could watch TV together and get back, and not spend all their time walking around the maze. So, I got ahold of Theseus and Ariana. It ends up they're not together anymore, but that’s fine. I said, are you willing to help?

 

This guy helped you. They said, sure. They said, but what about the kid that was always watching TV, Tor? I said, I forgot about Tor. They said, yeah, that was why…Tor would never give up control of the channels. I said, I forgot all about that. That was why you wouldn't want to be in the maze; not just because it was a maze…because even if you got to the TV, Tar was waiting for you and you wouldn't be able to watch any shows. I said, oh, okay, alright. Well, you think Tar would be able to help us, too? They said, Tor. I said, Tor? They said, yeah, yeah, yeah, Tor’s…so, okay…okay, so, basically, Diane, here’s what we did. Then I said, we gotta get Icarus here and Talos. So I said, okay, well, Talos…I’m gonna have Ariana…you go greet Talos. When you see Talos, take Talos’ side. You seem pretty grounded.

 

Talk to him. Give him some nurturing. Take him on a walk, a long walk. Take him under your wing and see what you could do. Then we’ll…we get that. They said, okay. Then I said, Theseus, you're a hero. I need you to wait ‘til those broken tools appear; put some real tools down. Theseus said…I said, trust me. Just do it, please. Then I said, Tor, I want you to take your TV. I said, figure that part out. You're gonna get a TV and you're gonna wait…I don't know where this kid Icarus flies off from now in this realm, but you're gonna invite Icarus to watch TV with you, and don’t let him leave. He’s gonna want to leave, obviously, 'cause you don’t share the TV. But you don’t let him leave. He said, okay. Then I realized, Diane, the weight of the feathers and the wax was what was making the whole levels go down.

 

Even in a post-earthly realm, this Bull, he’s pretty tall. So, I said, hey, you walk around; lean over and you block the feathers and the wax from landing here. He’s like, giant, so he said, okay, I could do that. Then I said, Penny, what I need you to do is go back to Minos. I know you two must communicate, right? He’s gotta have some sort of ethereal, mystical blueprints for this place that constantly reset. I said, take…you got the blueprints still for the Night Court? Oh yeah, I still do. Okay, switch the blueprints, right? She said, oh yeah, yeah, there’s probably some sort of…yeah, she goes, I know how to do that. I said, so that way, tomorrow when we wake up, alls we’ll have to do is build a set of Night Court and we won't have to worry about the wax and all that.

 

So, we got to work on this thing, and…but while we were working on the set of Night Court, right…now, we didn’t have Talos interrupt us. We had good tools after our midday break, and we actually had a good night of rest, 'cause I guess Icarus and, whatever, Tor were watching TV. But I said, listen, the only thing I’m thinking about here while we were working…I said, do you ever think about apologizing to Minos? He said, what do you mean? I said, well, he…I said, it’s not really an apology. I said, it’s making things right.

 

He said, why would I make things right with him? He’s the one that put me in this…I said, well, it looks like we're gonna finish this set today, right? Pretty good possibility that…what if you just write into the set of Night Court an apology? But not just an apology; think about it from his perspective. He said, what do you mean? I said, what if you could focus…it seems like you got a lot of attention. What if you could focus a little bit of your attention in the rest of the work day on what it was like for him? Now, I’m not saying this is a world without right and wrong I’m talking about; just from his perspective. He kinda maybe trusted you, and then you…just from his perspective, right? He said, oh, you want me to imagine I’m Minos.

 

Yeah, and then from his perspective, look at your perspective and see if there’s a way you could take your part and that you could…if you were a different person and you had different…if it was…knowing what you know now…or, let’s just say none of this happened, right, and you and Icarus were watching TV and watching the sunset tonight after work, which I can pretty much guarantee will happen…or what if it did happen, and Talos was…maybe he’s even on a date or something. Now, we won't have control over the TV, but if that was…we were watching the sunset, at least…and then we could probably get outta here, maybe find some fake birdseed. How would you choose then to think about everything with Minos? Daedalus said, well, I guess I would look at my part and say, huh, I guess I’m sorry.

 

I wish I didn’t behave that way, not just 'cause of the consequences, but seeing things from your perspective. Is there anything I could do to make it right? Well, I said, well, that sounds like…you could just leave a forwarding…maybe just sign it…send any messages to Richard Warren. Okay. Alright, let’s…oh, wow. So, Diane…Diane, I kinda got in a groove there. I forgot where I was, but that’s what happened, Diane. Then we made it to the sunset, and it was quite the moment. Daedalus didn’t have to…or Icarus didn’t have to fly around anymore, 'cause he said, I was flying around just wondering why didn’t you listen, why didn’t…you know.

 

But then Icarus was just there, and the sunset was way better than the TV, Diane. But because we were looking in the direction of the TV, Tor thought we were…still felt powerful because Tor thought we were trying to watch TV and that they had control over the TV. The sunset…and the father and son were reunited, and then we went to the set of Night Court. Not the set we just built, but the other one, and watched a play. Minos was there, and Minos said, hey, Daedalus, I got your note. Then there was way more apologies 'cause everybody was able…everybody was there, Diane.

 

It ended up being a really nice moment, that everybody just kinda realized after…I mean, it’s been, whatever, thousands of years or something, I guess, but they realized they were all…and then…but then everybody…what about Poseidon? I said, well, let’s look at how we’d…if we have feelings about Poseidon, we could talk about that…I mean, I’m…we got really tired, I guess, Diane. We had a sleepover on the set of Night Court, and it was pretty nice. So, yeah. I mean, I’m just recording this here, so I don't know what’s next, Diane, but I’m here with Daedalus’ crew, I guess. Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

 

Ping Pong

https://www.stigaus.com/blogs/players-corner/the-fascinating-history-of-ping-pong

https://www.optimalakeview.com/optima-lakeview-chicago-il/blog/25419-trending-now-a-brief-history-of-ping-pong

https://centurybilliards.com/products/ping-pong-tables/the-history-of-ping-pong-table-tennis/

 

Daedalus

https://www.thecollector.com/daedalus-mythical-inventor-greek-mythology/

https://www.thecollector.com/daedalus-and-icarus/

https://paleothea.com/heroes-and-mortals/daedalus-icarus-myth-analysis/

 

Harvey Birdman

https://decider.com/2018/10/14/harvey-birdman-is-good/

https://www.gamegrin.com/articles/remembering-harvey-birdman-attorney-at-law-after-15-years/

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/b/birdman1.htm

 

Night Court

https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/a-look-back-at-nbcs-night-court

https://www.looper.com/307653/the-untold-truth-of-night-court/

https://www.aroundtable.ca/post/2020/01/26/retro-tv-review-night-court-1984

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’m here to tell you a tale you don’t have to listen to

Am I a chatterbox?

Chit Chat vs Chatter

Ping Pong is just like Chit Chat

I’m the chit, you’re the chat

Did boxes ever chatter?

Remembering a pair of wind-up teeth

Oh, Dennis the Menace invented the chatterbox, didn’t you know?

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns; Marley Spoon; Clean Power Alliance

 

INTRO

Feelings just making their appearance

Thoughts about Dennis the Menace, chit chat, and ping pong

I play righty even though I’m a lefty

Ping Pong: I’m not good with either hand

Believe it or not, someone else listening can relate to what you’re going through

I’m not here to tell you a straightforward story

I’m here to be your companion

Seriously Relaxing

People who give sleep advice just don’t really get it, do they?

The same goes for people trying to tell me to move my hips

Just barely listen to it

Hopefully I’ve already demonstrated why I barely deserve your attention

I’ve entered the phase of Intentional Viewing

But that’s not this

Your boreloff

Explaining the structure inefficiently

 

STORY

Big Farm in the Sky Get Besos PI

This’ll be a pretty standalone episode

Explaining serially modular

I listened to Ep 5 this morning and it was incomprehensible to me

Richard Warren and James Cash

In the Beige World

The universe is resilient, especially to their adventures

They ran retail empires but were watching Jiff

Jiff is totally fictional, btw

Into a not so great post-earthly realm

Encountering different people

They found Javert

Which Javert?

The word “Javert” has lost all meaning to me

RW lost his list of people to save, that’s why they hired the PI

PI is looking for someone

Antonio (and the greater Los Angeles) area is in our hearts

PI is recording a message

PI likes James and he’s working on liking Richie

How is Richie a mirror to me?

PI is trying to be more patient

G and DK have their hands full, so they can’t help

J and RW are on real Earth right now, but we’ll get back to that

They are clients, and I have to be on the case

Right now I’m trying to find Jiff

Jiff is Earth-based but not Earthbound

Jiff has been repurposing post-Earthly realms

Jiff runs Imazon

Jiff owns all the URLs and sells them

Jiff is registering companies based on the realms he’s visiting

Richie told me to go buy some birdseed

Birdseed is not a code word

Putting birdseed in Jiff’s pocket

I was maybe a little snarky

Where do you buy birdseed?

Farm store, I guess

It’s good that G and DK figured this out

A limited window of the post-Earthly realm

Learning about other post-Earthly existences

One of these places is full of birds

They’re all big birds, but not like Big Bird

They help people but not in a helpful way

Being purified by birds

It’s like The Floor Is Lava, you know?

Garoodian Birds

Waiting for Jiff to arrive

Who’s the Bird Guy?

The famous Bird Guy

Harvey Birdman? No.

Oh, we’re talking Daedalus

One of his judges was his old boss? What?

He flew his son into the sun

Daedalus can get you birdseed for sure

Thank goodness for James

James does some mediating

As long as Richie thinks there’s birdseed, it’s fine

Daedalus is in the labyrinth

Labyrinth vs Maze

Multilevel Labyrinth

I brought a 100lb line instead of string

Post-Earthly Fishing Shop

This was a doozy

This doesn’t seem like a nice way to spend your time

Daedalus has to build this neverending labyrinth

Sometimes it snows feathers and wax

We’re both covered in feathers

It looks like we have wings now

He looks like a Birdman

He’s got clear goals: finish the labyrinth, get to his son

His wings don’t work

Wax Wing Superstructure

I don’t think I’ll get lost

He’s constantly building

Giving a status report to his all-powerful client

The tools are misaligned, alas

A contractor in another realm

Then his nephew Talos starts appearing from the Casper realm

He points out all of Daedalus’s mistakes

A fancy, rich people’s labyrinth

At some point, his son in the sun shows up

And he’s just there, reminding Daedalus of his past

Then we go to sleep but his son talks all night

That’s a rough day for Daedalus

I don’t know how long I’ve been here

A lot of people owe him favors

I’ll be back with my plan in a sec, Dianne

The plan didn’t quite go to plan

Getting ahold of Poseidon

Poseidon’s assistant directed me to yet another show

A guy named Bull, like the one from Night Court

Minos bothered Penny

Poseidon made Penny and Bull fall in love

Penny made Daedalus create a set of Night Court so Minos wouldn’t find out

Hanging out on the set of Night Court, if you know what I mean

Now, they stage other plays on the set of Night Court

Then Penny and Minos had a kid

I can’t say Ariadne

They didn’t want Ariadne watching TV

But Ariadne would sneak into the labyrinth to watch TV shows

Kids who wanted to watch TV would end up in the maze

Theseus goes to the maze

Theseus and Ariadne fall in love

Daedalus gives Theseus string so they can be in love in the maze

Or we can call him Tor

Let’s get Icarus and Talos here, too

Ariadne, please give Talos some nurturing

Theseus, give some real tools to Daedalus

Tor, invite Icarus to watch TV with you

Tor, block the wax and feathers from falling

Penny, go to Minos and switch out the blueprints for the maze’s blueprints

Then tomorrow, Daedalus just has to build the set of Night Court uninterrupted

A very peaceful day

I tell Daedalus he should make things right with Minos

Writing an apology into the set of Night Court

Looking at Minos’s perspective

Daedalus sees things from Minos’s POV

And that’s what happened!

We made it to the sunset

Icarus didn’t fly around anymore

The sunset was way better than the TV

Father and son were reunited

Then we went to the other set of Night Court and met up with Minos

A lot of productive apologies

We’ll deal with Poseidon another day

Then we slept on the set of Night Court

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1337

Title: Waxing Wings on Labyrinths and Birdseed | Get Besos in the Sky PI Ep 6

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns; Marley Spoon; Clean Power Alliance

Notable Language:

• Chitter
• Chit Chat
• Ping Pong
• Seriously Relaxing
• Boreloff
• In the Beige World
• I-X-I-O-N
• Gumshoe
• Earth-based, not Earthbound
• Post-Earthly Realms
• Birdseed
• Garoodian Birds
• Son Into The Sun
• Wax Wing Superstructure

 

Notable Culture:

• Dennis the Menace

• • Boris Karloff
  • Sears
  • JC Penney

• Les Miserables

• • Antonio Banderas
  • Amazon

• Sesame Street

• • The Floor Is Lava
  • Harvey Birdman
  • Daedalus
  • Poseidon

• Night Court

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Feelings just making their appearance
• Thoughts about Dennis the Menace, chit chat, and ping pong
• I play righty even though I’m a lefty
• Ping Pong: I’m not good with either hand
• Believe it or not, someone else listening can relate to what you’re going through
• I’m not here to tell you a straightforward story
• I’m here to be your companion
• Seriously Relaxing
• People who give sleep advice just don’t really get it, do they?
• The same goes for people trying to tell me to move my hips
• Just barely listen to it
• Hopefully I’ve already demonstrated why I barely deserve your attention
• I’ve entered the phase of Intentional Viewing
• But that’s not this
• Your boreloff
• Explaining the structure inefficiently
• Big Farm in the Sky Get Besos PI
• This’ll be a pretty standalone episode
• Explaining serially modular
• I listened to Ep 5 this morning and it was incomprehensible to me
• Richard Warren and James Cash
• In the Beige World
• The universe is resilient, especially to their adventures
• They ran retail empires but were watching Jiff
• Jiff is totally fictional, btw
• Into a not so great post-earthly realm
• Encountering different people
• They found Javert
• Which Javert?
• The word “Javert” has lost all meaning to me
• RW lost his list of people to save, that’s why they hired the PI
• PI is looking for someone
• Antonio (and the greater Los Angeles) area is in our hearts
• PI is recording a message
• PI likes James and he’s working on liking Richie
• How is Richie a mirror to me?
• PI is trying to be more patient
• G and DK have their hands full, so they can’t help
• J and RW are on real Earth right now, but we’ll get back to that
• They are clients, and I have to be on the case
• Right now I’m trying to find Jiff
• Jiff is Earth-based but not Earthbound
• Jiff has been repurposing post-Earthly realms
• Jiff runs Imazon
• Jiff owns all the URLs and sells them
• Jiff is registering companies based on the realms he’s visiting
• Richie told me to go buy some birdseed
• Birdseed is not a code word
• Putting birdseed in Jiff’s pocket
• I was maybe a little snarky
• Where do you buy birdseed?
• Farm store, I guess
• It’s good that G and DK figured this out
• A limited window of the post-Earthly realm
• Learning about other post-Earthly existences
• One of these places is full of birds
• They’re all big birds, but not like Big Bird
• They help people but not in a helpful way
• Being purified by birds
• It’s like The Floor Is Lava, you know?
• Garoodian Birds
• Waiting for Jiff to arrive
• Who’s the Bird Guy?
• The famous Bird Guy
• Harvey Birdman? No.
• Oh, we’re talking Daedalus
• One of his judges was his old boss? What?
• He flew his son into the sun
• Daedalus can get you birdseed for sure
• Thank goodness for James
• James does some mediating
• As long as Richie thinks there’s birdseed, it’s fine
• Daedalus is in the labyrinth
• Labyrinth vs Maze
• Multilevel Labyrinth
• I brought a 100lb line instead of string
• Post-Earthly Fishing Shop
• This was a doozy
• This doesn’t seem like a nice way to spend your time
• Daedalus has to build this neverending labyrinth
• Sometimes it snows feathers and wax
• We’re both covered in feathers
• It looks like we have wings now
• He looks like a Birdman
• He’s got clear goals: finish the labyrinth, get to his son
• His wings don’t work
• Wax Wing Superstructure
• I don’t think I’ll get lost
• He’s constantly building
• Giving a status report to his all-powerful client
• The tools are misaligned, alas
• A contractor in another realm
• Then his nephew Talos starts appearing from the Casper realm
• He points out all of Daedalus’s mistakes
• A fancy, rich people’s labyrinth
• At some point, his son in the sun shows up
• And he’s just there, reminding Daedalus of his past
• Then we go to sleep but his son talks all night
• That’s a rough day for Daedalus
• I don’t know how long I’ve been here
• A lot of people owe him favors
• I’ll be back with my plan in a sec, Dianne
• The plan didn’t quite go to plan
• Getting ahold of Poseidon
• Poseidon’s assistant directed me to yet another show
• A guy named Bull, like the one from Night Court
• Minos bothered Penny
• Poseidon made Penny and Bull fall in love
• Penny made Daedalus create a set of Night Court so Minos wouldn’t find out
• Hanging out on the set of Night Court, if you know what I mean
• Now, they stage other plays on the set of Night Court
• Then Penny and Minos had a kid
• I can’t say Ariadne
• They didn’t want Ariadne watching TV
• But Ariadne would sneak into the labyrinth to watch TV shows
• Kids who wanted to watch TV would end up in the maze
• Theseus goes to the maze
• Theseus and Ariadne fall in love
• Daedalus gives Theseus string so they can be in love in the maze
• Or we can call him Tor
• Let’s get Icarus and Talos here, too
• Ariadne, please give Talos some nurturing
• Theseus, give some real tools to Daedalus
• Tor, invite Icarus to watch TV with you
• Tor, block the wax and feathers from falling
• Penny, go to Minos and switch out the blueprints for the maze’s blueprints
• Then tomorrow, Daedalus just has to build the set of Night Court uninterrupted
• A very peaceful day
• I tell Daedalus he should make things right with Minos
• Writing an apology into the set of Night Court
• Looking at Minos’s perspective
• Daedalus sees things from Minos’s POV
• And that’s what happened!
• We made it to the sunset
• Icarus didn’t fly around anymore
• The sunset was way better than the TV
• Father and son were reunited
• Then we went to the other set of Night Court and met up with Minos
• A lot of productive apologies
• We’ll deal with Poseidon another day
• Then we slept on the set of Night Court