1258 – Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks | Multiplex Ep7

Episode 1258 – Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks | Multiplex Ep7

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time to journey to a mall. Where did the word ‘mall’ even come from? I just realized I have no idea. Mall, M-A…M-all, mall. Is ‘mall’ short for something? I don't think so. I’ll have to look it up. But welcome to Sleep With Me. You say, nothing boring than a person contemplating the meaning of…I mean, we know what ‘mall’ means. I say, well, it’s kinda changed. A shopping mall; we know what that means, but even that’s changed in the past twenty years. Pretty big, right? Now it’s like…I don't know. So…you say, I thought this was a podcast to put me to sleep. I say, yeah, welcome to Sleep With Me. It is a podcast to put you to sleep. I’m glad you’re here. Regular listeners, I’m so glad to have you back. Yeah, this is a strange show. It does take some getting used to.

 

The first couple times most people don’t like the podcast because it’s different than what you expected. I’m more here to be a friend and to keep you company and just to distract you so you could fall asleep. So, see how it goes. If you already know…this is pretty early on in the show…if you already know you can't stand me or the podcast or the concept, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleepy stuff you could check out, other podcasts and sleepy stuff. Check that out. But yeah, welcome to Sleep With Me. What’s gonna come…we got support coming up, sponsor support so you can listen for free, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then after that, a bedtime story to take your mind off of stuff and put you to sleep. So, I’m glad you’re here, and, yeah, thanks for coming by and thanks for making this all possible, my bore-friends.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, things you’re thinking about, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future. So, thoughts; they’re things you’re thinking about. Or, my brain seems…it says, I could do plenty of thinking without you, though most of it’s about me.

 

So, it could be thoughts, it could be anything…feelings, any emotions coming up for you, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, weather, travel, guests, work. Maybe you work a different schedule, maybe you’re working somewhere away from home, whatever it is. A lot of times it’s something else, right, or you don’t know. But whatever it is…there’s a reason I go through that stuff, is 'cause I don't want you to feel alone and I do want you to feel somewhat seen, but not under…you know, not gazed upon but seen, like, hey, you’re welcome here. Don't worry; this is a soft location. You could take a look around and all that stuff or look from the outside, but we’re glad you’re here.

 

That’s why I say that a bunch of times, because I don't know if you got to the show…somebody told you about it or you searched for it or you were just lying…you were just at the end of your sleep…you said, I gotta find something to help me fall asleep. I’m so frustrated. Maybe you got here doubtful or skeptical, but you were probably fed up because not being able to sleep is just not easy, and then being in a world where not everybody understands that or a lot of stuff that’s supposed to help you only helps you temporarily can be frustrating, and also the idea of like, man, I just don’t…other people don’t get it, and then it’s the night and things…my thoughts and my feelings seem to change. Their powers seem to grow, and there’s a different feeling underneath them all.

 

That is, for me, a lonely feeling, and that’s one of the reasons I make the show, is because if you’re feeling that or something like that or even in the general vicinity of that, I just want to help because I’ve been there, and I might not know exactly what you’re going through and maybe I can't relate to how it feels, but I’m pretty sure I can relate to at least a couple of the feelings. But the great news is even if I can't, there is someone listening right now somewhere in the world who can relate to how you feel. There’s enough people listening that I’m pretty confident in that. Not only that; not only can they relate to how you feel or maybe they’ve been through something similar, they truly believe you deserve a good night's sleep just like I do.

 

They truly hope this podcast could be one of those things that helps you and helps give you some relief from whatever it is that’s keeping you up, or at least a distraction and comfort. Maybe it can't relieve you, but maybe it could make you more comfortable and be here and say, yeah, we see that’s not easy. Ideally, this podcast could become part of your routine or, whatever, if it’s a temporary thing, get you through this temporary time, or if it’s a ongoing thing like it is for a lot of us, that it becomes something that becomes part of your bedtime routine, and then when you have a nice bedtime routine, then most of the time you could get a good night's sleep, the rest you need and deserve. You don’t have to dread bedtime anymore.

 

It could be something you look forward to or at least feel neutral about, and that means you’re getting the rest you need so your life is more manageable, and maybe you could even start to get out there and be flourishing, and that’s better for everybody. If your life’s better, that’s important. The way I do it is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means my voice is not traditionally soothing and I go off topic, I have a lot of filler words. You say, pregnant pauses? Pregnant pauses and filler words…it’s like, I don't even have to try. A lot of those are just natural. All of ours…most of ours are organic, especially those ones that are just there.

 

But all…so, it just means I never get to the point because I’m not here to put you to sleep and this isn’t a podcast you listen to in the traditional sense. This is a podcast that’s just out of focus…that you can listen to it, but it’s kinda like a TV on in the other room or one of those times…I don't know, not to idealize things, but I’ve been practicing a little bit more of trying to pause and stuff like that. I don't know, every once in a while…I’ll be paused outdoors, just sitting there listening, and I’ll hear some sounds like a small plane in the distance or birds in the distance, and it’ll give me this sense…and not only will it connect me to the moment, it’ll give me a sense of a time when…that things are…it just gives me a connection to something idealized? I don't even know, something that feels really special.

 

I don't know what my point is other than…I don't know, sometimes sitting around just listening to sounds in the distance is pretty nice. So, this podcast isn’t quite in that realm. I don't try to compete with birds or small engine noises, especially if they’re coming through summer…on a summer breeze, or children laughing far enough away that it’s not distracting. Like, if you live four blocks from a park or where they have…what do you call that thing? Recess, you say, it’s pretty good. I can hear children laughing, but I’m not resopnsible for them. It’s terrific. So, ideally, this podcast is on the duller side of those idealized images or sounds but kinda similar, where you’re like, oh yeah, I’m kinda paying…they’re drifting in and out of my attention, I guess.

 

So, that’s kinda how you could listen to Sleep With Me, or you can listen to it, because I’m here to the very end. Because the thing is this isn’t a podcast that really puts you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, so there’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s the thing with the show; no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for just about an hour so that you don’t have to wonder, do I need to be asleep by twenty minutes, do I need to be asleep by thirty minutes? No, you got over an hour. There’s at least six hundred other episodes in the free, ad-supported version of the show you could listen to, 'cause there’s people that listen all night long and there’s people that start the show or listen in ten-minute…whatever. There’s a lot of different ways to listen to the podcast.

 

But I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your Borbie, your bores, your bore…bore-bud, bore-bestie, your bore-friend, your best bore-friend forever, and I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, just like if you were to call someone and say, talk to me about nothing for a while so I could fall asleep. Can you do that every single night? They’d say, I don't think I could, but there’s a podcast that does that. He doesn't try to put you to sleep. He doesn't have any techniques. He clearly has no techniques. I mean, he does, but his technique isn’t to put you to sleep. It’s just to be a friendly voice in the deep, dark night, and he’s a bit of a goofball. So, yeah, no pressure to listen, no pressure to fall asleep. Like I said, most people don’t like this show.

 

When you get here, you’re probably skeptical, doubtful, fed up. So, just give the show a few tries. You got nothing to lose. If it doesn't work for you, there’s tons of other sleep podcasts at this point and other sleepy audio out there, so maybe you could find something else that works for you. But give the show a few tries and see if it helps, 'cause for most people it took a couple tries, but then once they realized this podcast is always meandering, never going in a straight line, rarely has…it’s…I do…I am here to the very end because there’s people who are listening who can't sleep at all, so it’s not like the show deteriorates. It’s just always in the same state of general…not general confusion, but somewhat…it’s a somewhat…he’s a somewhat-confused man. I mean, I think people have said that about me.

 

So, just see how it goes, 'cause I really hope this show can help you or introduce you to something that can. What else do you need to know? Should I look up ‘mall’? Where is…etymology, is that…? Oh, there it is. Okay, ‘mall’ has different things. This is maybe Italian, fourteenth-century game, polamaggio, similar to croquet. That’s not how you say that; croquet, right? Ball and mallet…the alley where the game was played would be called the mall. 1700s, late 1700s…could mean bag or vessel filled with air, like a balloon, I guess. 1850s; a toy or air-inflated bag…1850…1840s; outline in a comic engraving. 1700s; mall…tree-lined park where people walked and socialized. London Mall was a promenade. Let’s see what else we got. Pall Mall in English…the mall. Pall Mall was the mall, a tree-bordered walk in St. James' Park.

 

This is from a website, though, so let me figure out where it’s from. Oh, this is from Oxford. So, yeah, Pall Mall…I don't know, mall…oh, formally was a Pall Mall Alley, St. James' Park. So, yeah, that didn’t…that was a pointless…I mean, that was a somewhat pointed…pointless meander. So, what else do you need to know? Oh, the structure of the show. The structure of the show definitely can throw people off when they’re new, and I totally understand that. That’s why I run through the structure stuff every single episode. But here’s the thing; podcast apps are pretty…you’re able to…they’re pretty adaptable. You can kinda change up how you listen once you become a regular listener, but I would suggest at least listening in the way most people experience the show at first, because we’ve designed the show in a very specific way.

 

But if you decide part of that specific way doesn't work for you, you could either use your podcast app to change up how you listen or you could support the show directly at Sleep With Me+ or by joining our referral program and get access to different versions of the show. But so, the show starts out with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in, and you say, okay, I may be comfortable with this podcast. If you’re a regular listener, you say, there’s my bore-friend again. He’s the barely-entertainer and he’s gonna try to be barely entertaining again, and he’s gonna say ‘Pall Mall’. Who…Paul Mall, like P-A-U-L Mall? No, no, Pall Mall. Paul Mall? Oh no, no, don’t know him. You gonna go…? Minneapolis Saint Paul might have a mall.

 

I think that’s where the mall…I think that’s where the Mall of America is. Saint Paul Mall…Saint Paul Mall? No. Scooter’s just trying to do some sort of Vaudevillian thing, but he can't…he doesn't have any way to…he doesn't have…he doesn't quite have the ability…he can only just keep saying ‘Pall Mall’ and imagining it’s Vaudevillian. Sorry, I forgot to put on my Borscht Belt. Hardy-har-har. Maybe if I had that on, it would have some magic…if I could get a magical Borscht Belt and put it on, then maybe I could make some better Vaudevillian humor. That’s somewhat of a pun, just like…so…okay, so…oh, structure of the show. So, that’s what the beginning of the show is so you say, okay, I might check that podcast out, or if you’re a regular…oh, welcome back.

 

Then there’s support, sponsor support, and the people that support those sponsors…that’s what keeps the show coming out, so most people choose to listen that way. They say, hey, paying for the show is optional. I’ll just listen in order. I prefer to listen to this ad-supported version. Then after the support is an intro. The intro is not part of the support. It is its own show within a show where I go on for ten to twenty minutes trying to describe what the podcast is unsuccessfully, somewhat unsuccessfully. The intro is different every time but it follows a similar structure so it has a bit of familiarity, like those…listening to noises outside that are pleasant, but it’s different every time, kinda like the different times of day you hear different stuff, so you can't quite adjust.

 

Like, imagine if you went outside every day and you heard the same exact sounds all the time. That wouldn’t be…you’d say, there we go…oh boy, can't…you really would, I think…at least I would, 'cause I know how I’m wired. I would be so unhappy. I would try to take control of my environment, because I’d say, what bush…what tree do those birds live in that I hear all the time even though they’re pleasant and it’s not too noisy? Every single time I go outside, they’re tweeting in the same way. I don't know, there’s something about variety — I didn’t even realize it — with outdoor sounds or any sounds. With sleep podcasts or sleep audio, for me, it has to be different every time, otherwise I adjust and I go through those…whatever, emotional rigmarole, and it stops working for me.

 

It would stop being…outside; don’t do it anymore, man. It’s too mundane, same as…is there anything new out there? My neighbors; oh yeah, there’s a new sound. It’s some sort of frog. Well, it’s gonna be…how long do you think…? Oh yeah, it’s been doing it for two weeks now. You gotta go out there. Twenty…maybe it would just be at the same time of day. You say, oh yeah, the same sound from 12:00 to 4:00. Okay, I’ll pass, then. Eventually I’ll get out there and listen to it. So, I don't know, that’s why the intro is there. It’s different every time but it’s the same. It would be way more efficient for me to just put out the same intro and for it to be two minutes. Some people…then I’d probably get less e-mails about the intro going on and on and on. But here’s the thing; the intro is not designed to put you to sleep.

 

It’s designed to ease you into bedtime. There’s a small percentage of people that fall asleep, there’s a small percentage of people that skip the intro, but for most people and I hope for you…but yeah, if it doesn't do that, you can adjust…the intro becomes part of your wind down, because having a wind down changes your…and this is just my experience…changes your relationship with bedtime to something that’s a little bit softer and that you’re eased into, so that by the time it’s…I’m trying to go to sleep, I’ve already eased into that period by doing some chill activities…or just listening while you’re getting ready for bed and getting comfortable or petting your pets, kissing your shoulders, kissing your biceps, whatever it is. I think I had another one that I invented, but I can't remember what it was.

 

But anything chill and calming and soothing you’re doing…there’s people that doodle or maybe play a little music or whatever it is. So, that’s what the intro is really there for, is the transition between your waking time and your trying-to-fall-asleep time. Like, what did I say? Foyer. I went on a tangent about foyers about six months ago. I said, that should be a verb. In Sleep With Me’s parlance, it would be a verb. It’s time to foyer. So, that’s the intro, then there’s support after the intro, and then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be our ongoing episodically modular series, Multiplex, and then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really want to help you fall asleep. So do a bunch of other people that work on this show, so thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s time for our episodically modular series. All the names of other series are popping in my head. This one’s called Multiplex, and it’s about a group of friends at a mall after hours going around helping people that are in the mall. They’re on their own adventure. If you’re new to this…Sleep With Me or this series, ‘episodically modular’ means you can kinda listen to these in any order, which means while this might be right in the middle of the season-ish, you could listen to this episode…this would be a good episode to listen to. Then you could listen to the first six episodes and it’ll kinda give you a clear idea how we got here, or you could listen to them in order, too, but you could just…also just barely listen. You say, well, this is Episode 7. I’m not sure about that.

 

Here’s the thing; you could just barely listen to this episode, then listen to them in order. So, that’s another sweet thing about being a sleep podcast and having something that’s episodically modular with a touch of seriality. This one, ‘touch of seriality’ really means a lot. It was funny. I didn’t realize it was kind of a pun for Multiplex. But so, yeah, you can listen to them in any order. What’s gonna happen next is the main character is gonna…or, yeah, I guess the main character…I have a daughter, so she always uses main character vibes. But I say, the main character probably should have main character vibes. So, the main character or the narrator, at least, will catch us up on everything.

 

So, yeah, and I’m so lucky and so grateful to be here with someone who comes all the way from the greater Los Angeles area or wherever they happen to be working. I don't really…I don't do a great job of scheduling these, either, so…I mean, just…not even kind of like a superhero; this person…as far as sleep podcasts go, I guess that would make me…I would be the one in the way of…so, this is Antonio Banderas, but Antonio’s literally sitting around and then he basically gets an alert, like the sleep signal, and it says, Antonio, drive or get yourself to the Bay Area and…within the next…I mean, I try to give him eight hour’s notice, but with…about a eight-hour buffer depending on my mood, my procrastination, my chores, other type things. Sometimes it could be eight to forty-eight hours.

 

Did you know Antonio and I may share a hotel room? No…he’s laughing. No. Oh, I just thought I’d put it out there. So, that was a ‘no’ on that one. But anyway, so, Antonio then comes here just for the love of sleep. Like, okay, the sleep signal’s been posted. Scoots needs me. The listeners of Sleep With Me need me, really. The only thing standing between me and the Sleep With Me listeners’ good sleep is Scooter and his incredibly high standards of expecting me to get there, being on-call. One time he did say to me, I’m a celebrity. He didn’t really say that. I said it when I was imitating him, but the look on his face said that. I don't mean it in a braggadocious way. It means I got…I’m a really busy guy.

 

But I think he’s always…he did say something about me…my inability to read between the lines, something about me…that I color outside the lines, but I can't read between the lines. But I can't quote his…I can barely…he’s the man I could barely paraphrase, but he is a hero to the sleepless listeners out there. It’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time to journey into Multiplex. Click, click, click. Zs…yeah. Thanks, Antonio. Thanks, also, for that wisdom. I realize I…like, I can read between your brows. Antonio, you got a furrow with my name on it, don’t you? He’s laughing now. It’s worth it. It’s worth it, right? Alright, that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Multiplex. Thanks, everybody.

 

Good evening, everybody. My name’s Wyatt and I’m recording this story, or collection of stories, to clear things up. Recently, a public-access television show I did a while back got noticed by the internet. Now, you may not be listening to this when that’s the case. They posted…they digitized the videos and posted them online, and it’s public access, so it’s not…I’m not griping. This is here to clear up, though…is that people tried to note my brilliance in makeup and costuming…and who were these performers, my interview style, my writing and directing. But really, I was just sitting there talking to people and interviewing them and showing old movies.

 

That led me to reflect on this adventure my friends and I had, where I may or may not…well, where I met some of these people that I interviewed, but really where my friends and I learned…'cause we were flying higher than…who’s that kid with the wings? Icarus. But we weren’t…we were flying close to the sun but not too close to the sun, I believe, the way our trajectories were, and that we…so, we were high-fliers, high-achievers, and we had a path laid out for us. It wasn’t an intimidating path; it was…we were driven, right, each driven by our own…what we had a aptitude for. We thought we would head out on this path headstrong, strapping of boots and all that, and that’s where we were.

 

We were all young and I guess…I don't know what it means to be full of vim and vigor, but I do know that phrase could have been used to describe myself and my two best friends San and Josie…probably not the fourth person on our adventure, Boyd, the Corncob Kid. I’m Wyatt, by the way. Sometimes I call myself Boyd. I don't know. I get mixed up. It’s been a long time, and I’ve felt the need to preserve these memories. But we went on an adventure — which I guess was heroic — that taught us that some heroes are in the middle of the pack even though the adventure’s not like that. I guess that’s the irony. It was a real adventure. I guess for us, it was. But the result…the math afterwards calculated out to maybe we don’t need all this.

 

Maybe we don’t need to be the top of the top and whatever the rest of the song…whatever on Old Broadway. So, that’s the story. We went to…we got to this…we headed out on this adventure on a smaller adventure. I had not gotten a scholarship. That was a part of my path towards greatness, and being driven as I was, I was like, well, I’m not gonna take ‘no’ for an answer, but financial limitations were what they were, so I was in a problem-solving mode. My friends said, Wyatt, we gotta get you outta…we gotta have some fun. So, we played a game of mini-golf, and towards the end of that game of mini-golf, out of a culvert that ran underneath the six or eight-lane road that was up above the glen where we played mini-golf in, came Boyd, the Corncob Kid.

 

Boyd said, you know on the other side of this culvert’s that old mall, Fairglen or Fairview Mall, or something like that. Boyd said it’s full of this stuff, which was Julius J Juice concentrate, which Boyd could sell on what would become the internet. At this time it was just…I don't know if it was the usenet or not. Snoozenet, more like it, in this story, eh? I was just throwing in a hardy-har. So, Boyd said, this…the mall’s been closed, the company that owns the mall is out of business and the company that owned Julius J Juice is no longer in existence, but this store is full of Julius J Juice concentrate which I could sell to people, and there’s enough money that it’ll make us a significant amount of money, and I don't see any quandries or morals with this. So, we went along, and we went to get this concentrated juice out of the mall.

 

What we found is eventually we got into the shopping mall, and that’s when a series of adventures started to take place, adventures that were kinda beyond our comprehension or understanding. First, one of the…The World of Cutlery or whatever, we encountered a worker but there was something a bit ethereal about it, and they said, I need your help. Then we encountered…we thought we were in a immersive adventure even though back when we were kids, that wasn’t really a big thing. There was theatre, you know, an underground theatre. I mean, not where we lived, cutting-edge stuff like this, but we thought it was possible. So, then we encountered what we thought was an animatronic, and they needed our help.

 

They needed our help — basically, short version — becoming a sock puppet and then getting back into the movie they had been in, which was an old movie which was playing at the Multiplex. We found by watching the movie over and over again we could help this sock puppet get back in the movie at the right time in the right way, to change the ending of the movie, because this movie didn’t end in a particularly satisfying way for the sock puppet originally, and most of the other times we tried to get them in when they weren’t a sock puppet. Eventually we got them back in the movie, and then the movie became a cereal commercial. Then we slept and we kind of lost track of time. Then we tried to get out of the mall again, and we couldn’t get outta there.

 

Then we went to Spence’s Gifts, where we encountered another worker. Every worker at Spence’s Gifts goes by the name Spence. It’s a requirement for working there. They said they couldn't…they needed the black lights restocked, and they would help us get out of the mall with their keys. So…and they were…also, everybody that worked at Spence’s — at least to us, me and my friends — was super cool. So, then we went to the Tiki Transistor Hut to get black lights, 'cause Josie used to work there. There, we encountered someone named Franny. Now, Franny needed our help. We weren’t gonna originally help Franny 'cause we found another way we thought would get us out of the mall, but that didn’t work out. Franny was the one who had damaged the black lights at Spence’s. So, we helped Franny.

 

Franny needed help. It turned out Franny was in a movie, and Franny was in a movie where Franny was supposed to be the…was designed to be the ultimate companion by someone named Victor Victoria. Victor Victoria, in a very selfish way…we had read the book in high school, believe it or not. It was called…Franny’s name’s in the title. So, Victor Victoria didn’t think about what it would be like to be an ultimate companion if you weren’t designed in a visually-appealing way. Then Victor Victoria didn’t really do a lot of nurturing of Franny. Franny went out in the world wanting, in a deepest, desiring way, to be the ultimate companion for people. I’m not talking about the sweaty kind of companion, the back-sweating kind of companion.

 

I’m talking about somebody that helps you with your laundry, listens to you, pushes you on the swing, goes for…you know, someone that’s a friend. I think that’s all Franny wanted to be, was a part of. But because Franny was visually unappealing 'cause Franny was a construct of different companions, Franny was constantly not being welcomed in, and Franny worked hard. So, we…Franny needed our help. Hey, basically, I want to be accepted by these people in the movie I’m in. Franny didn’t know really…I don't think Franny knew that it was a movie. There’s a lot of stuff that’s a little bit ethereal in this story. So we said, okay, we’ll try to help you, basically, so we can get the keys, we could get out of the mall. It ended up that Franny…we tried a bunch of different ideas and…'cause we said, this is a pretty hard problem to solve, right?

 

You want to be…the hardest thing is when you want to be liked to be liked. Then the hardest thing to deal with is when you’re being yourself and you feel like people are like, eh, I’m not so sure about that. That’s pretty…Franny was living out something most of us only imagine in a non-positive way. So, we really wanted to help Franny, and we did the whole makeover thing, and then we realized a couple different things. Boyd had been through something similar, and the…when you work at…Spence’s has…also has a non-traditional employee training program that really is one of the…kind of training program that works for people in customer service when people are not positive to you, and to teach you how to kinda be the Spence aesthetic.

 

We thought it just came naturally, and I think it is part of the process of hiring, too, but also training, to have that Spence attitude, which is…you know. So, we kinda tried to take those two things, Boyd’s experience in going from Corncob Kid, Corncob Kid, to the Corncob Kid, and then what it’s like to be a worker at Spence’s. Somehow, it ended up that what made Franny feel most Franny was being in kind of a funky type…a funky dress. I don't mean…I mean like, bring the funk. So, we…that’s…instead of a sock puppet, Franny was kind of a funky member of a band. Then we got Franny back into Franny’s film, which also became…at the right time…and then Franny also became…it also became a cereal commercial. That’s where we kinda…we went back to sleep, and we woke up in another theatre.

 

The movie had ended because it had become a commercial, and we woke up again confused. At this point we…well, we kinda knew…had a plan. We went back to Spence’s to get the keys and get outta the mall, finally. I think we were still…at least the majority of the four of us but also internally…at least, I can only speak for myself, but my impression was everybody was still about 53% that this was an immersive experience even though it didn’t…there was things we didn’t understand, and that if we just completed the tasks, we’d be fine. Also, tracking time, because it was a long weekend, we figured right now we had to leave the mall, because this would have been the point where we were raising a pretty trust…we were trusted, right? So, it was around Monday morning of a long weekend that we’d be expected to check in.

 

So, we went back to Spence’s and Spence wasn’t there. The worker wasn’t there. We called for Spence. The back door was locked. Then we found a note that said, Spence will be back. Can't find my keys. We said, wait a second, that was our deal. We would get the black lights that had been damaged by Franny so that Spence’s still had black lights for its black light poster area which was now functioning, and we would get Spence’s keys to be able to leave through the locked door to go out the back of Spence’s. No keys. So, we spent a little bit of time looking around Spence’s for Spence’s keys, and that was frustrating, to be honest, because we said…and where was Spence? Because the mall was not exactly stocked full of people. Then we left and we were yelling for Spence.

 

We kinda had already been through this, but each phase of going through this was a little bit more on a dial increasing towards ten, if you know what I’m saying. So, then we were also disagreeing with each other. We were trying doors. We were throwing things at doors. I said, wow, this mall is really built…now, they were built in a different way at this particular time. This mall…well, I can't speak for other malls. Now, where we lived, it got cold in the winter, so you needed basically an airlock, a sizeable airlock, when you entered the mall, where…so cold air…but to keep it a climate-controlled environment. It got hot in the summertime, right? Then they also had a gate…in addition to two sets of doors, gates that came down.

 

I guess 'cause we were…I guess the irony is we were living every kid’s dream, but we were trying to get out at this point, which…said, okay, well, now we know why no kid lived the dream of running around the mall, because it’s pretty hard to get in. We tried to retrace our steps again to go out the way we came in. We couldn't get out that way; the gates were down. It was like the gates of the mall…'cause then we tried to go back to Julius J Juice; couldn't get out that way. So, then we tried…we tried opening up…we tried everything, 'cause there was some back hallways we could get access to. I just want to get through this part because it wasn’t pretty, to be honest, because everything…we’re trying to find phones that worked. That didn’t work.

 

Trying to pull things that would alert people that was a little too…like someone had smoked a cigarette indoors thing. That didn’t work. We were not being very nice to each other, right, because…you say, whose fault is this? Is it Boyd’s? Is it Wyatt’s? Then self-pity. We were going through different stages of things. Then finally we wore ourselves out. Now, you might say, Boyd, what were you eating during all this time? It was interesting that…and again, this lended to the thing where there was some comfort where…okay, we entered a new area of comforting context, because there was always some sort of food stand open and stocked. Now, it wouldn’t have been food that would have been recommended to be consuming, pretzels or whatever, but…or cinnamon buns.

 

So, when we went from saying, okay, this is obviously an immersive, interactive adventure…you might say, I can't believe that, but you didn’t see the movie about April first that we had seen multiple times at multiple sleep-overs that was based on this exact idea in a different way. They had immersive theatres, like, let’s all have dinner and solve…they do have this stuff nowadays, too. But again, we were really…and the movie was, I guess, remade, but…First of April, it’s called, or April Surprise. We’d watch that movie so many times. So, it wasn’t out of the thing, but now we started to think that maybe this was somebody messing with us maybe for a TV show, but that wouldn't have been cool. Or there was other things…who was it?

 

Santos’ sister, Griselda, she had at different times been studying for degrees, and she said, hey, let me give you this test. So, she had to constantly give us these different tests where there was like a ink blot test or a maze test or answer-these-questions type test. We were like, is this some sort of larger…is Griselda involved in this? Santos said, no, no, no. So…okay, so basically at that point, we…after we had had a little bit of something to eat and drink, we realized, okay, there’s nothing other than getting back…right now we’re still taken care of. So, this is…let’s just focus. We’re the ones making a bigger…we’ll figure this out, the four of us. So, we sat there and we were under the biggest skylight at the center atrium of the mall with the trees and the water fountains and stuff.

 

That’s when Boyd said, we’ll just get…we gotta get up there and then we’ll go out the top skylight. We could probably break that one. Then Boyd said, even if we can't, maybe we could get something out of the…maybe we could get a message out or something. So, then we started looking for ladders and stuff so we could get up there. But were we in for quite a surprise, because we said, okay, there was…at that one store there was scaffolding, right, because the painters were using that. So, we’ll go get the scaffolding and we’ll take it apart. First we tried to push it over, but it was too heavy. So, then we said, okay, we’ll have to take it apart. Then we said, well, that’s really complicated, so let’s see if we can find some ladders first. We just happened to be…we were trying all sorts of doors, trying to figure out where would the ladders be.

 

There’s gotta be some. But we were going by a store called Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks, and at that exact time we were passing the front of the store, every cuckoo clock in the store went off to mark what we thought was noon or midnight, it could have been, because it was when the big two-hour…I don't know when the big hours for cuckoo clocks were, but this was it. You thought it was New Year’s Eve for cuckoo clocks. If you’ve never been focused on finding ladders to get out of a shopping mall as a teen with your friends in a unexpected situation and heard four hundred cuckoo clocks go off without a warning, you’ll realize that it kind of causes quite a stir, where we all…most of us fell to the ground and held one another until we realized it was cuckoo clocks cuckoo-ing.

 

It was…I’d prefer never to be around a cuckoo clock again, but it was very…talk about a lizard brain. Holy moly. So, we had to recoup from that, right? We were literally on the ground, the four of us, holding each other, in different states of dramatic poses. We said…so, then after, we kinda had a thing. We laughed about it. I don't know if you’ve ever been like that, where you’re like…and then there’s relief; it was just the cuckoo clocks. Then as the relief kind of sunk in and…whatever, I think that’s hormones and enzymes and stuff flowing through your body…we were like…we were a little bit dopey, I guess, and we were joking. But then we were like, wait a second, is that the first time that came off? Then Josie said, no, I think I heard the clocks one other time when we were in the Tiki Transistor Hut.

 

We were like, okay. Then San’s like, maybe it’s a sign. We’re like, yeah, it’s a sign. That’s…now it’s five past something. Josie said, no, no, no, if we’re…if everything that’s happened so far…what if nothing that’s happened so far that we haven't done…oh, and we got it; okay, so everything that’s happening is intentional. Okay, they made cinnamon buns and we went towards the cinnamon buns. Nobody was there, but maybe somebody was there before. Then, that planted a seed that would pay off later, but it didn’t pay off now. You might even be thinking it, but at this point we said, okay…and then we were a little hesitant because we felt like things had changed a bit, but we went into the cuckoo clock store.

 

You know when you go in the cuckoo clock store, it’s a lot of touching, especially if nobody’s working there, which we didn’t see anybody working there. We did the ‘hello, hello’ thing. You know, you touch the bottoms that got stuff hanging off them, you touch the things. Then that’s when some kind of strange realization…we collaborated on it organically, kind of, which was…first, as somebody was touching the dials on one of the clocks, we said, are these battery-powered or is somebody winding them? But somebody said, it’s like…it is five after twelve. Then we said, okay, five after twelve what? Twelve noon, I guess, 'cause of the light coming through the skylights. Then Santos looked at his watch and he said…but it’s not 12:00. Then we started looking…so, this is piecing it together, basically.

 

I’m trying to figure out how we got to the solution we got to. But a couple of the clocks had dates on them, too, and the date was just changed 'cause one of the dates was kind of stuck in-between, 'cause the clock was behind. So, it was…this particular clock was just changing and the day was just changing. Let’s just say from the first of something to the second of something, and the other dates were all on the second. They had just switched to the second. Now, why is that important other than what I already introduced earlier, which was the digital watch that Santos was wearing…was the fact that we…if it was the…let’s just say it was March first. That was the day we played mini-golf, March first. We probably got done at, whatever, 6:00, 7:00 p.m. March first, and we had been in the mall more than one day.

 

If you’re following me, it wasn’t…it couldn't be March second. It couldn’t have just turned March second, because that would mean we were only in the mall for like…probably by the time we got to the mall, 7:00 or 8:00, four or five hours. Then we realized Santos’ watch…now, why was that never important to this point? Because that was the only watch or clock we had even thought about. We had thought about it particularly that day, because we realized that on Santos’ watch, it was Monday. On the clocks, it was Friday but…or Saturday morning. It had gone from Friday night to Saturday morning. Okay, there was a couple other things.

 

One was that Boyd, who seems to be…have some serious deduction, ran back out into the mall when we were discussing what all this meant, probably that whoever is running the mall is just messing with us. But Boyd ran back out, ran back in…Boyd kept covering his eyes, looking up at the skylights, then told us to come back out…was trying to find paper and other things. Now, we couldn't confirm this, but Boyd was like, I don't think that’s natural light out there. We said, what do you mean, Boyd? Boyd said, I thought there was a rumor that this mall had some sort of artificial sunlight to keep…in the wintertime to keep all the trees growing and stuff, and that these skylights aren’t real. Remember that? Boyd said, I think that’s just lights up there, like on the skylights, coming in. We said, well, I don't know.

 

It’s just one of the things your mind can't quite accept, but for Boyd, it had already switched. So, Boyd was convinced that there was high-powered lights shining in the skylights. We were confused. Okay, and then basically…it’s hard to describe 'cause this all happened with us figuring and…I have certain skills and Santos and Josie have certain skills and Boyd has certain skills, and those skills complement one another. So, we got to the point where we realized that the times lined up, that basically if we started to replay everything…and when we slept and our estimates of what time we finished mini-golf and what time it took us to get to the mall, get in the mall, that time changed inside the mall. Now, this could have been fake time, right? If we were in an immersive experience or an experiment, they’re using a different clock.

 

We call that the game clock theory or the testing clock theory or the time change theory, that time had actually changed in the mall and that each hour in the mall…no, no…well, we couldn't figure out this one, was…no, no, each day in the mall was one hour of real, mechanical time, or each day we were experiencing…like our body clocks which also lined up with the digital watch on Boyd’s body, or Santos’ body. So, each twenty-four hours on Santos’ watch that we experienced as twenty-four hours was only day in the mall…one hour in the mall. Now, we said…then we were trying to figure out what it meant. Then we decided it didn’t really mean anything, 'cause it was like, we just gotta get outta here. Then we were trying the door at the clock shop, or Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks.

 

I’ll be honest, too, I’m not proud of this, but we did break a few cuckoo clocks 'cause we were strongly frustrated. It was actually during the breaking of the cuckoo clocks that…the breaking of the cuckoo clocks; I don't know why that sticks with me as a term, but…you know when you break something, it can be loud, when you’re breaking it on a floor of a cuckoo clock store or the floor of the mall or against a planter, fountain…and…kind like in the movies; you’re saying, I’m going cuckoo because of these cuckoo clocks. I’ll be honest; so, your hearing becomes very acute, so then you think you hear stuff after we got done breaking the stuff. ‘Cause you say, well, now you’re gonna…we’re gonna be in trouble, right? You’re not supposed to just go into a store and break their clocks.

 

So, then we said…we were like, okay, I don't hear…I don't know, but yeah, you’re right; we should…right, we should take accountability for breaking the clocks. Again, so…I think we all took turns carrying these theories, but by the experiment theory or the immersive game theory, that was also the right move, so it was also soothing. Or by…if our parents are watching us, which was not a…that was a low-percentile theory. Like, what if our…what if this is something…what if this is my scholarship thing and there’s a video feed and they’re watching us, or we are in a TV show? But also, it was just wrong and there would have been consequences. We didn’t…wouldn’t have probably done it if…I don't think we would have done just…I don't know. But, you know, there would have been consequences.

 

So it was like, okay, well, we’ll have to pay for these clocks. So, we started writing a note, and Josie was handling that because Josie worked at Tiki Transistor Hut. That’s when I was…I said, wait a second, I do hear something. Then said, yeah, going cuckoo from the cuckoo clocks. ‘Cause, I mean, all those cuckoo clocks clicking and clacking are pretty loud, and then the breaking of the cuckoo clocks was loud. But there was something about that and maybe the relief of, okay, we’re doing the right thing by most theories here with these clocks…that I heard something else. They were like, what does it sound like? I said, it sounds like…I don't know. Hold on. I listened again, because I didn’t have a…quite way to describe what it sounded like, which was something like making a sound with your lips and your lungs and…it was a human-ish sound.

 

I was like, well, it could be one of the clocks. They said, well, what does it sound like? Like a cuckoo? No, no. It sounds like when somebody’s sleeping on a cartoon. We said, what do you mean, sleeping on a cartoon? We all made the sound, and then everybody said, I hear it, I hear it, I hear it. It does sound like somebody’s sleeping on…in a cartoon and snoring. You know, you’ve seen it…you’ve probably seen it before. Then we started to walk around the store, trying to figure out where this thing was coming from, this sound of a cartoon sleeping. Maybe somebody was…I don't know. Then there was some…so, there were some giant cuckoo…grandfather cuckoo clocks? I don't know what you call them, large ones in the back of the store for people that wanted giant clocks even bigger than…and then…very large cuckoo clocks or fancy clocks.

 

Of course…now, not the biggest one, but the second-biggest one was where the sound was coming from, from the inside base of the clock. Then everything’s ticking, but everything’s ticking at a little…it wasn’t like the whole store was one synchronous breath of ticking clocks. It was more staccato. Also, we were…we need to wrap this up before the next hour, because then it was gonna be…who’d want to be in that store? Then it became somewhat comedic, 'cause we got closer and closer. It was like a cartoon sleeping sound or a Three Stooges sleeping sound coming from the inside of this clock. So, we were pushing each other and pointing and trying to be quiet and disagreeing, and finally I just said, okay, forget it.

 

There’s a knob on there, right, because…I don't know what you gotta do inside of there, but…well, it turns out it was…well, it wasn’t empty, but it was a large, empty space that when we opened it up, we were in for…it was quite a surprise. There was some pillows on the floor, the base of it, and curled up…well, for a brief, split second, curled up sleeping soundly was yet another thing that would support either the testing theory, the secret TV show theory, or the…still, the immersive theatre experience theory. There was a…and I guess it fit in with everything that happened…there was a…I don't know if you call it a cereal mascot, but it was the Crunch Commander. I mean, one of the biggest cereal celebrities, cereal…? Crunch Commander of Crunch Commander Crunch, one of the biggest cereals out there.

 

Who is…? Oh, maybe you don’t…not familiar. I’m thinking…I keep forgetting. You don’t even know what public…most of you never saw what public-access TV is. Maybe cereal’s different when you’re listening to this or you just consume cereal differently than I did. So, what is…? What could you research? So, there was these shows called H&R Puff and Stuff, and other shows that…well, that probably won't do it. ‘Cause…so, Crunch Commander was a commander of…commander…Crunch Commander…you’d say, commander? Say, I command you to eat a breakfast that covers…you know, it was always themed to kids who wanted to be a part of…join Commander Crunch on these adventures, Commander Crunch’s adventures.

 

But it was different seeing it in person, 'cause we had seen Commander Crunch animated before, never asleep and briefly cute…but also was kind of a giant hat with…a giant anthropomorphized commander hat, a generic commander of everything. So, almost like a helmet but with legs and arms and a nose and…the whole thing. But it was real in front of us, and…but our first introduction to Commander Crunch was very cute, because then even when the light shone in, Commander Crunch kinda shook outta sleep and then stretched these little arms and legs and kinda was like a kitten, and then tumbled out and then looked up at us and blinked, blinked, blinked their eyes.

 

Then it was like we were in a commercial, which we had all…other than Boyd, we had watched a lot of Commander Crunch commercials and adventures, and we had…even as kids, we talked…but Commander Crunch says…it’s just a very thing like you’d expect; it goes, breakfast cereal…and then Commander Crunch does a salute. That means stand at attention. So, we all did that except for Boyd. Then Commander Crunch kinda walked up and down the line and kinda gave Boyd a look, and said, good morning, recruits…kinda went through the familiar structure of the cereal commercials we were familiar with. It kinda put us at ease at the same time as being like, that’s a real Commander Crunch?

 

Then Commander Crunch started pulling stuff out, like a chalkboard and a pointer, out of the cuckoo clock, and said, take a knee, take a knee, recruits, and started to tell us…Commander Crunch needs your help. Are you willing to help me? The thing had the mall on it. It was a chalkboard with a map of the mall. Again, some of this was like, maybe we’re in a commercial? Maybe this is some long dream? But Commander Crunch said, any questions, after kind of a brief review of where we are. Your mission is to help Commander Crunch. I’ve been watching you. So, Commander Crunch knew what had already happened at the mall, propped us up of how good a job we were doing helping, that we needed to continue helping, and the Commander Crunch alluded to the fact we would be compensated for this.

 

I guess…Commander Crunch threw a whole lot of information at us, I guess is what I’m trying to say. But it was information without details. But then Commander Crunch said, do you have any questions? A lot of the questions we had were like, wait a second, what? Because…what questions might you have for me? What do you mean, compensated? Well, Commander Crunch said, because we’re helping Commander Crunch’s friends get back to their cereal spaces. We would be compensated for each one of those because we were a part of that. So, we’d get paid for that. I don't know, there was a lot of details, but the biggest detail was like, is any of this real or possible? Are we dreaming? Is this…?

 

We threw all of our theories at Commander Crunch, and Commander Crunch just walked back and forth, looking at us. I don't know, I guess it’s strange to say that a cereal based on…maybe before our time, right? I don't know the history of Commander Crunch, to be honest with you. I only know our history with Commander Crunch started this day. Commander Crisp, either…I can't believe I had the name…it’s Commander Crisp? Maybe it went from Commander Crunch to Commander Crisp. I can’t remember. That’s funny, but…that we were put to ease. But it was like, suddenly we were in a cereal chain of command, which was something we were familiar with based on being raised on a shared mythology, at least the three of us. Boyd was pretty quick, so Boyd picked up on all of it.

 

So, even though there was this sense of unrealness, right, and even though it was strange seeing a cereal hero…I don't know, it wasn’t a mascot, though. A character, a cereal story character…Commander Crisp or Commander Crunch? Crispy Commander…maybe those were two different characters? Or maybe they changed names. I don't…anyway, details aren’t…here’s the thing; the reason it was so…Commander Crisp…Crispy Commander…oh yeah, Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander. Commander Crunch. That’s what it is. Sorry, folks. Sometimes these things escape me. But so, we said…we basically got down to it, and this is where Commander Crunch explained this is all real. Now, I know this is gonna seem strange, but I know you figured out the time thing, right?

 

I’m just gonna explain it as simply as I can because it’s beyond your understanding, but this is all real. The time has slowed down here, so you’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna help me, you’re gonna get rewarded for helping me, you’re doing the right thing helping these other…I don't know why it’s happening, but these movies start, and the character from the movie ends up here, and they need help. They need you to help them because they’ve gotten…to resolve everything. They’re resolving theirself in…when you’re helping reach a resolution, they’re becoming a part of my cereal family. Commander Crunch said, I’ve been here for a while, not just when…I was here before all this started, because we’ve been waiting for someone that could help us. I have everything set up. The cereal business is a real thing, right?

 

These are new cereals not even as part…they’re not gonna be a part of the Commander Crunch family, the Crispy Commanders. This is gonna be this whole new thing, and you’ll be a part of it. You’ll own a part of this. But we said, wait a second, so you’re real? We’re not little kids anymore. This is just…this is not possible. We’re trying to figure out which of these theories it is among these minor theories and the major ones we have, 'cause nothing else would make sense. Commander Crunch said, well, this’ll make…this might not make sense, but this is really what’s happening. Commander Crunch explained to us…which I’ve heard in other ways explained in other things, other adventures that I’ve heard other people go on, real and imagined.

 

This was a theory that many of you may be familiar with, because the person that was helping me figure out how to record these messages has experienced this firsthand as well. That’s our connection, is the transverse plane. The transverse plane is a thing where, as I understood when it was being explained to me, is where universes don’t just come together by accident or connect together by accident. They touch on each other kinda like two pieces of mist touching on each other, but for a reason. Commander Crisp kind of understood this, Commander Crunch, Crispy Commander, and that there was a reason why these two…why these universes…so, the transverse plane is the plane we’re on in our world, right? And that there’s just these places, and this mall just happens to be one of these places.

 

We asked, has it always been that way or…? Commander Crunch said, I don't know. I just know how long I’ve been here. Is it a post-Earthly…? I don't know the answer to post-Earthly…alls I know is it’s real and this is happening and it’s…this is probably intentional in some way when the transverse plane’s involved, 'cause people on both ends of the plane need each other’s help. We said, so we…? Well…oh, I need the money and we need to get out of the mall, obviously, before the end of the weekend, ideally sooner. But yeah, I’ll get my…oh, we could all use the money, right? This adventure…and oh, okay, these characters from these movies that…the movie never ends well for the character in the movie, and in their mind they’re misunderstood, even though in the movie it’s a…it’s not a misunderstanding.

 

But to…as us outside of the movie, it’s a misunderstanding. So, even though we couldn’t quite understand how a transverse plane was possible…it was where worlds temporarily intersect because someone on each side of those worlds is in need, and that’s when things can cross over between the two worlds. That’s kinda…was reassuring to hear because, I don't know, it gives you a sense of purpose, which having Commander Crunch there really kinda helped, I don't know, qualify that it had a specific purpose, that we had missions now, we had completed two missions, and that it was for good and that only good was involved.

 

It reminds me of old Emma Otter; all will be well. I don't know, so…but then Commander Crunch said, will you take…are you willing to take…are you willing to join me and help me complete these tasks as I present…and get on these missions and…whatever, become a part of the crispy command or chain of command? We had more…will you be our commanding officer? Say, well, you’re gonna be a team, a specialized team, a team of helpers. But Boyd said, we gotta talk about it and think about it. So, we got together and Boyd said, let’s all just sit quietly and take a break. Maybe…then I had that in my head; all will be well.

 

Boyd said, not think about what just happened for a little while and then discuss what we want to do and how we want to proceed. So, we did that. We took some quiet time and just rested quietly. But for me, I knew all would be well. We were on the transverse plane or connected to it. I didn’t understand it. In fact, it wasn’t even an important part of the story. It just calmed…why…what was happening, and I guess it gave us an answer, and the answer was to do the right thing. So, that’s where we were, and we’re taking a break. I’ll take a break now, too, and I’ll get back to you with the rest of this tale soon. All will be well. Goodnight, everybody.

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Multiplex

 

Mall Etymology / Pall Mall

https://www.116pallmall.com/news/2019/the-incredible-history-that-happened-on-our-doorstep

https://www.116pallmall.com/news/the-history-of-116-pall-mall

https://britishheritage.com/travel/history-st-jamess-mall-park

 

Mall of America

https://www.businessinsider.com/mall-of-america-opened-1992-vintage-photos-2019-8

https://everydaywanderer.com/mall-of-america-facts

https://www.mallofamerica.com/about

 

Cuckoo Clocks

 https://www.cuckoocollections.co.uk/blogs/blog/the-history-of-the-cuckoo-clock

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/the-past-present-and-future-of-the-cuckoo-clock-65073025/

https://www.bavarianclockworks.com/history-of-the-cuckoo-clock/

 

Sports Play Time vs Broadcast Time

https://critter.blog/2021/06/08/the-actual-playing-time-of-sports/

https://www.wsn.com/blog/lifetime-of-commercials/

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-much-football-is-even-in-a-football-broadcast/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Where does the word Mall even come from?

 

Deep Dark Night United

Karl W Links

 

PLUGS

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SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Polysleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive; Claritin

 

INTRO

Thoughts: They’re the things you’re thinking about

My thoughts can do plenty of thinking without me

Seen, but not gazed upon

It can be lonely when it seems like the power of those thoughts is growing

Someone out there right now can relate to how you feel

It’s better for everybody if your life is better

Pregnant Pauses and Filler Words? I don’t even have to try!

Most of mine are organic

I’ve been trying to practice pausing outdoors

Pausing and hearing some sounds

A connection to something idealized and special

I guess I’m saying that listening to sounds in the distance can be pretty nice

I’m not trying to compete with nice sounds in the distance

The duller side of idealized images and sounds

A Somewhat Confused Man

Should I look up the etymology of mall?

An Italian game called maggio?

An air-inflated bag?

The London Promenade Mall

Pall Mall Alley, St. James Park

Hi, I’m Paul Mall

An attempt at a vaudevillian routine

Sorry, I forgot to put on my borscht belt

Imagine if you went outside every day and heard the exact same sounds every time

I know I wouldn’t like that

I went on a tangent on Foyer about 6 months ago

Sleep With Me Parlance

 

STORY

All the names of other series are popping into my head right now

Explaining Episodically Modular

Ha, a Touch of Seriality has extra meaning with this series

Main Character Vibes

Antonio is very accommodating of my schedule

Antonio gets the Sleep Signal and is here in a flash

A typical 8 to 48 hour buffer window

For The Love of Sleep

I color between the lines but I can’t read between them

Wyatt introduces the show

I’m trying to clear some things up

Some Delayed Appreciation for my Public Access Show

We were flying higher than Icarus

We were high flyers heading out into the world

I’m not entirely sure of the meaning of Vim and Vigor, but that definitely applied

Some heroes are in the middle of the pack

Fair Glen Mall / Fairview Mall

More like Snoozee net, eh? Haha

Getting stuck in some real cutting edge underground theatre

Helping some animatronics get back into the movies

Explaining the characters we’ve helped so far

Boyd had been through a thing similar to Frannie

Spence’s Guidebook

Everybody was still about 53% sure this was an immersive experience

We figure the long weekend must be over very soon

The worker wasn’t there at Spence’s, but we found a note

The worker left a note saying he couldn’t find his keys

Looking for Spence

Each phase was turning the dial up to 10

We needed an airlock to keep the cold air out

Ironically, we were living every kids dream

We weren’t being very nice to each other

We were trying everything to get out of there

Different Stages of Things

Finally, we wore ourselves out

A New Area of Comforting Context

There was always an open food stand to eat from

We’d seen that April Surprise movie so foten

Maybe Santos’s sister Griselda was testing us?

Escaping through the atrium skylight

Or maybe we could send a message out of the skylight

Looking for Ladders

Scaffolding at one of the stores

Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks

Every clock went off at once

The sound of hundreds of cuckoo clocks cuckooing, that’s quite the sound

We had to recoup from that for a while

The relief came later

Dopy with relief

Maybe the cuckooing is a sign

What if everything that happens is intentional?

Some Kind of Strange Realization

Inspecting the cuckoo clocks

It’s 5 after noon

But it’s not noon, according to Santos’s watch

A couple clocks also have the date

So we realize it’s after 5 after midnight

We’d been in the mall more than one day

But according to these clocks it’s only been maybe one day

On Santos’s watch it’s Monday

On the cuckoo clocks, it’s Saturday morning

Someone must be messing with us

Boyd’s Serious Deduction

That might not be natural light up there

Artificial sunlight through the skylights??

Boyd believes. We’re confused

The Game Clock Theory

Each 24 hours for us was one mall hour

We did break a few clocks out of frustration

We should take accountability for these broken clocks

Holding all these theories was soothing in a weird way

Writing an apology note for the clocks

I heard something else

A Human-ish Sound

Like snoring in a cartoon

Searching for the snoring sound

Giant Cuckoo Clocks

Something is sleeping in the base of a grandfather clock

Testing Theory

Secret TV Theory

Immersive Theatre Theory

It’s Crunch Commander, a big cereal celebrity!

Explaining Commander Crunch

A giant anthropomorphized hat

Then he woke up and stretched like a kitten

Then it was like we were in a commercial

A breakfast cereal salute

A familiar cereal commercial structure

Commander Crunch proposes his plan

Are we in a commercial?

Commander Crunch has been watching us

We’d be compensated for helping him

We’re helping Commander Crunch’s friends get back to their cereal spaces!!

Is this just a dream?

Commander Crunch wouldn’t answer our questions

The Cereal Chain of Command

Boyd picked up on this quickly

Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander

CC explains that this is all real

Who knows why it’s happening, but it’s real

Commander Crunch has been here, waiting, for a long time

It’s all because of the Transverse Plane

Like 2 pieces of mist touching each other

There’s a reason these planes are touching

People need help across the Transverse Plane

We’ll be paid to help – this could be my scholarship

Getting to the bottom of the movie math

Worlds temporarily intersect

Now we have a sense of purpose

As Emma Otter says, All Will Be Well

A specialized team of helpers

We’re gonna take a break and think about the job offer

I’ll be back soon

 

SWM+ THANKS

Leah, Sherilynn, Colin, Laura, Julianne, Darlene, Amy, Walter, Lisa, Andrew, Matthew, Kimberly, Danielle, Darleen, Valerie, Beverly, Melissa, Ashley, Mathew, Elvin, Katherine, Peter, Karen, Ethan, Robert, Michelle, Victoria, Kathryn, Susan, Evelyn

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1258

Title: Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks | Multiplex Ep7

Deep Dark Night United: Karl W Links

Plugs: NYC Mesh; Sean Casey Animal Rescue; Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resoures; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Polysleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive; Claritin

SWM+ Thanks: Leah, Sherilynn, Colin, Laura, Julianne, Darlene, Amy, Walter, Lisa, Andrew, Matthew, Kimberly, Danielle, Darleen, Valerie, Beverly, Melissa, Ashley, Mathew, Elvin, Katherine, Peter, Karen, Ethan, Robert, Michelle, Victoria, Kathryn, Susan, Evelyn

Notable Language:

• Mall
• A Somewhat Confused Man
• Croquet
• Maggio
• Pall Mall
• Paul Mall
• Foyer
• Sleep With Me Parlance
• Main Character Vibes
• Vim & Vigor
• A New Area of Comforting Context
• Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks
• Cuckoo-ing
• Some Kind of Strange Realization
• Some Serious Deduction
• The Game Clock Theory
• Crunch Commander
• The Cereal Chain of Command
• Transverse Plane
• All Will Be Well

 

Notable Culture:

• Multiplex

• • Pall Mall Alley, St. James Park
  • Mall of America
  • St. Paul, MN
  • Antonio Banderas
  • Icarus

• Frankenstein

• • Universal Monsters

• April Fool’s Day movie

• The Three Stooges

• • Captain Crunch

• HR Pufnstuf

• Emma Otter

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts: They’re the things you’re thinking about
• My thoughts can do plenty of thinking without me
• Seen, but not gazed upon
• It can be lonely when it seems like the power of those thoughts is growing
• Someone out there right now can relate to how you feel
• It’s better for everybody if your life is better
• Pregnant Pauses and Filler Words? I don’t even have to try!
• Most of mine are organic
• I’ve been trying to practice pausing outdoors
• Pausing and hearing some sounds
• A connection to something idealized and special
• I guess I’m saying that listening to sounds in the distance can be pretty nice
• I’m not trying to compete with nice sounds in the distance
• The duller side of idealized images and sounds
• A Somewhat Confused Man
• Should I look up the etymology of mall?
• An Italian game called maggio?
• An air-inflated bag?
• The London Promenade Mall
• Pall Mall Alley, St. James Park
• Hi, I’m Paul Mall
• An attempt at a vaudevillian routine
• Sorry, I forgot to put on my borscht belt
• Imagine if you went outside every day and heard the exact same sounds every time
• I know I wouldn’t like that
• I went on a tangent on Foyer about 6 months ago
• Sleep With Me Parlance
• All the names of other series are popping into my head right now
• Explaining Episodically Modular
• Ha, a Touch of Seriality has extra meaning with this series
• Main Character Vibes
• Antonio is very accommodating of my schedule
• Antonio gets the Sleep Signal and is here in a flash
• A typical 8 to 48 hour buffer window
• For The Love of Sleep
• I color between the lines but I can’t read between them
• Wyatt introduces the show
• I’m trying to clear some things up
• Some Delayed Appreciation for my Public Access Show
• We were flying higher than Icarus
• We were high flyers heading out into the world
• I’m not entirely sure of the meaning of Vim and Vigor, but that definitely applied
• Some heroes are in the middle of the pack
• Fair Glen Mall / Fairview Mall
• More like Snoozee net, eh? Haha
• Getting stuck in some real cutting edge underground theatre
• Helping some animatronics get back into the movies
• Explaining the characters we’ve helped so far
• Boyd had been through a thing similar to Frannie
• Spence’s Guidebook
• Everybody was still about 53% sure this was an immersive experience
• We figure the long weekend must be over very soon
• The worker wasn’t there at Spence’s, but we found a note
• The worker left a note saying he couldn’t find his keys
• Looking for Spence
• Each phase was turning the dial up to 10
• We needed an airlock to keep the cold air out
• Ironically, we were living every kids dream
• We weren’t being very nice to each other
• We were trying everything to get out of there
• Different Stages of Things
• Finally, we wore ourselves out
• A New Area of Comforting Context
• There was always an open food stand to eat from
• We’d seen that April Surprise movie so foten
• Maybe Santos’s sister Griselda was testing us?
• Escaping through the atrium skylight
• Or maybe we could send a message out of the skylight
• Looking for Ladders
• Scaffolding at one of the stores
• Cuckoo for Cuckoo Clocks
• Every clock went off at once
• The sound of hundreds of cuckoo clocks cuckooing, that’s quite the sound
• We had to recoup from that for a while
• The relief came later
• Dopy with relief
• Maybe the cuckooing is a sign
• What if everything that happens is intentional?
• Some Kind of Strange Realization
• Inspecting the cuckoo clocks
• It’s 5 after noon
• But it’s not noon, according to Santos’s watch
• A couple clocks also have the date
• So we realize it’s after 5 after midnight
• We’d been in the mall more than one day
• But according to these clocks it’s only been maybe one day
• On Santos’s watch it’s Monday
• On the cuckoo clocks, it’s Saturday morning
• Someone must be messing with us
• Boyd’s Serious Deduction
• That might not be natural light up there
• Artificial sunlight through the skylights??
• Boyd believes. We’re confused
• The Game Clock Theory
• Each 24 hours for us was one mall hour
• We did break a few clocks out of frustration
• We should take accountability for these broken clocks
• Holding all these theories was soothing in a weird way
• Writing an apology note for the clocks
• I heard something else
• A Human-ish Sound
• Like snoring in a cartoon
• Searching for the snoring sound
• Giant Cuckoo Clocks
• Something is sleeping in the base of a grandfather clock
• Testing Theory
• Secret TV Theory
• Immersive Theatre Theory
• It’s Crunch Commander, a big cereal celebrity!
• Explaining Commander Crunch
• A giant anthropomorphized hat
• Then he woke up and stretched like a kitten
• Then it was like we were in a commercial
• A breakfast cereal salute
• A familiar cereal commercial structure
• Commander Crunch proposes his plan
• Are we in a commercial?
• Commander Crunch has been watching us
• We’d be compensated for helping him
• We’re helping Commander Crunch’s friends get back to their cereal spaces!!
• Is this just a dream?
• Commander Crunch wouldn’t answer our questions
• The Cereal Chain of Command
• Boyd picked up on this quickly
• Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander
• CC explains that this is all real
• Who knows why it’s happening, but it’s real
• Commander Crunch has been here, waiting, for a long time
• It’s all because of the Transverse Plane
• Like 2 pieces of mist touching each other
• There’s a reason these planes are touching
• People need help across the Transverse Plane
• We’ll be paid to help – this could be my scholarship
• Getting to the bottom of the movie math
• Worlds temporarily intersect
• Now we have a sense of purpose
• As Emma Otter says, All Will Be Well
• A specialized team of helpers
• We’re gonna take a break and think about the job offer
• I’ll be back soon