1054 – Longfeather Lime Leaf | Spice Friends 5

Episode 1054 – Longfeather Lime Leaf | Spice Friends 5

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and my patron peeps.  How you all doing, my patron peeps?  What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts you’re thinking about, things on your mind about the past, the present, the future; thinking stuff we also call it.  Feelings, anything emotionally coming up for you related to those thoughts, or just that are there.  So thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, so anything you’re feeling physically.

 

Maybe it’s a change in your routine or your temperature or where you are, you have something coming up that you’re anticipating.  Maybe you don’t know what it is, or maybe it’s something I haven’t mentioned.  Whatever is keeping you awake, one, I want you to know you’re not alone.  There’s hundreds of thousands of people listening right now, and while not everyone might know what you’re going through, we can relate to it.  We know how it feels, and there probably is a couple people out there that say oh boy, yeah, I’m dealing with that, too.  So, I guess it’s important; it’s a little bit too intimate sometimes for me to point out, but I don’t…if you’re here because you feel alone, and this is weird ‘cause it’s digital, and a podcast that you can listen to at any time.

 

But I hope you could kinda feel that, ‘cause there is some truth in there, even though it’s mixed up in ones and zeroes.  There’s other people out there that are having a hard time sleeping too, and that know what it feels like.  What was my point in there?  Oh, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to keep you company and take your mind off of that stuff.  Now, we’ll move into that…kinda slowly move into that phase.  So, what I’m gonna…what I propose to do or what I’m going to attempt to do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which means my voice is not traditionally good, it’s not traditionally sleepy, and it’s more distracting.  You say it’s a bit of a…it’s a voice that’s easy to forget.

 

Sleep With Me podcast; a voice that Natalie and Nat King Cole would never…they would just take out the ‘un’ and they’d sing Forgettable, ‘cause that was the voice on Sleep With Me.  It’s forgettable, or tune-out…you say, it’s not that you’re forget…you’re…’cause I can hear listeners letting me know, and I’m saying yeah, I’m trying to sum it up, though.  But yeah, I know my voice isn’t exactly forgettable.  It’s partially listenable, but unforgettable sounds more…you know, it sounds more better than my talking.  But your voice is forgettable.  You know what I mean.  I realize that it’s not the exact way to sum it up and it may feel…I’m not trying to be self-depricating either; it’s more like…it’s just a fact.  You say yeah, it’s not that your…I can’t forget your voice, Scoots.  It’s more like I just don’t have to listen to it.

 

I say wow, thanks for really rescuing me there.  That was really generous of you.  You’re right.  But Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole did not do a song that says that.  But they probably wouldn’t, ‘cause they’d say, who is the song for again?  They’d say I’m sorry, what?  Can’t we just…I thought we…I thought you hired us to do Forgettable.  You know, our people, because yeah, I…okay, let’s move on.  You’re right.  So, I’m gonna…oh, send my voice across the deep, dark night, lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.  You’ve already got a little bit of a sample of that, which means I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get distracted, I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna over-talk, I’m gonna repeat myself, I’m gonna get lost in circular, ovular logic.

 

I may even get…there…I could be lost in a geometric shape, too.  I mean, I have…if I’ve seen a buckyball that I haven’t got lost in, I…that’s…that was my pitch to Marvel.  They didn’t take me up on it.  I said well, what about this?  ‘Cause I…they said, can you drop the stuff with a buckyball?  I said well, it could be a fundraiser, the Bucky Ball.  Could we have…could we do that?  It could be in a buckyball.  They said no.  What was your first idea?  I said, just giving Bucky a buckyball to play with.  I said, hello?  Hello?  Is anybody there?  They said, I thought you were talking about something else.  How’d you…?  I said, once a bucky…once Bucky and a buckyball get popped in my brain, there’s…it’s…there’s…I’m trying…I was trying to figure out some way to make a pun with Buckminster Fuller in there, but it did not accomplish that.

 

But anyway, here…what I’m here to do, if you’re new, is I’m gonna bring the nonsense.  I guess that’s what I was trying to say, but it’s all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep.  I mean, here’s the thing; if you’re thinking about Bucky from the Marvel movies, you may know somebody named Bucky.  Also, there’s a Buckee with two e’s that…I don’t know the name of the place.  I don’t think it’s called Buckees, but it’s a famous…it’s like Sheetz, but it’s not where Sheetz is.  What do you call that?  It’s like a convenience…roadside convenience store.  So, either one of the Buckys…’cause maybe that other one would take me up on it; they’d just give me some gift certificates, even though I haven’t been there.  But if you’re thinking about a Bucky, could be another Bucky.

 

I don’t know any…I’m trying to think of the other famous Buckys, but I better…with a buckyball, which you say Scoots, what’s a buckyball?  I say oh, boy.  Say, isn’t it some sort of Buckminster Fuller geodesic…?  Picture that Epcot ball.  Spaceship Earth, they call it.  Well, here’s an image…I mean, I don’t think anyone could deny it.  You say okay, is it gonna be long-hair Sebastian Stan or short hair?  I say well, you choose.  On Spaceship Earth, holding a buckyball.  What if I just gave you a video feed of that?  Not many people would turn it down.  I don’t know if you’d…I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but it’s one of the many images running through my brain at all times.  Okay, so what was…?  Okay, so where were we?  If you’re new, I’m glad you’re here.  Let me just tell you that.

 

The reason I make the show and…is so that you can get some rest.  Now, it doesn’t work for everybody.  It only works for kinda the people it works for, ‘cause the show’s very different.  But here’s the other piece of news before you check out; I mean, you could leave the show now.  If you don’t like it, that’s cool.  But if you’re skeptical or doubtful and you’re still like well, let me see where this goes, ‘cause I could go for that…I say…here’s the thing, if I had unlimited resources, I’d give away…you could ride Spaceship Earth with Sebastian Stan and you both get buckyballs.  I mean, I’m sure someone’s raising their hand; they’re saying, I don’t think…just like many times, they say I don’t think think that word means what you think it means.  I’d say, shoot.  Once again, I did it.

 

So, okay, so…oh, if you’re new, give the show a few tries.  That’s what hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people have said; took two or three tries for me to realize the show will never make any sense.  So, then I kinda started barely listening, and it worked from there.  So, give it a few tries.  See how it goes.  The reason I make this show, one, kinda like I said at the beginning, I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, even when someone else is there, even in a full house of people it can feel pretty lonely.  It’s a different kinda loneliness we…than what you experience during the day, or it’s very acute.  There’s nothing cute about it.  I mean, nothing as cute as the image of Sebastian Stan holding the buckyball, or just…what if I just had a video of him saying buckyball over and over?

 

Or I guess you say, what are you doing later?  Going to the Bucky Ball.  Hey Buck, what are you doing?  Going to the Bucky Ball.  Buck, what are you doing?  Practicing my dance for the Bucky Ball, you know, grouchily.  Hey Buck, what are you doing later?  I gotta go get some clothes for the Bucky Ball.  So, yeah.  That’s what I’m doing.  Gotta go get dressed for the Bucky Ball.  Gotta get my shoes shined.  Hey Buck, what are you doing?  I got stuck in a podcaster’s brain.  So, you gotta get me…please get me outta here.  I’m in a mucky muck of a bucky…okay, so, whatever…I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  That’s one of the reasons I make the show.  The other reason I make the show is because you do deserve a good night’s sleep.

 

You do deserve a place of respite, a bedtime that you don’t have to dread, that you could feel neutral about or even look forward to.  If you get that, whether my show provides it or you could check out other stuff; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.  You could check that out…is…what do you…what do you call it?  I got mixed up.  Oh, if you get the rest you need, your life’s gonna be more manageable, our world will be a better place.  So, that’s important to me too, ‘cause I know how it feels and because it’s important.  You’re important.  Now, a couple other things if you’re new; this is a podcast you just kinda barely listen to, kinda like turning the volume down or putting a pillow over your head, but still kinda listening in.  Now, you can listen, but you don’t have to.

 

That goes with the other part of it, it this is not really a podcast that puts you to sleep.  It’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  So, it’s a little bit different.  I’m here to be your friend, like you’re calling me; your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore.  So, I’m here to just talk non…somewhat nonsense.  But here’s the thing; if you can’t sleep, you say oh, I can kinda listen though too, ‘cause he’s almost just barely making sense.  Tonight will be a story, too, after the intro.  That kinda goes into the structure of the show which can also throw new listeners off, but it’s very specifically designed, the podcast, just to help as many people as it can, ‘cause it can’t…you know, and it can’t work for everybody.

 

But so, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel welcome, you feel seen.  You say okay, this is a little bit silly, too.  Then there’s business or support; that’s ‘cause I want the podcast to come out twice a week for free on a…wherever you want to listen to it, whatever podcast app.  The listener support and the sponsor support make that possible.  Then there’s support for the community around the show, support for listeners, then there’s the intro, which we’re ten minutes into or something.

 

Now, the intro is a show within a show which can be really hard to separate a little bit, emotionally untangle from the support part, at least at first, but it serves a couple different purposes; one, it tries to introduce the show, but I go off-topic, I get mixed up, I get obsessed with Bucky and buckyballs, and wondering…well, I mean, here’s the answer; probably wouldn’t ask anybody to go with me to the Bucky Ball, ‘cause I’d be too shy and self-conscious.  Hopefully I would get invited, since I invented the Bucky Ball, and definitely I would plan my own dance, at least in my mind, but I’m not really good…it wouldn’t be a dance you’d see anywhere, because you say oh, that’s nice for you.  You came up with your own dance there.  I’d say yeah, I call it the…I’d want it to be the belle of the Bucky Ball.  I did, but…oh boy.

 

I think the podcast…we just…the podcast just peaked very quickly and dove down.  But I don’t know if it’ll ever get any better than that by accident.  Walking into truth; that’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life, was to be the belle of the Bucky Ball.  So, what was I talking about?  Oh, the intro goes on and on and on, which at first it could be…you could have strong feelings about it, but once you realize…the intro, the reason it’s a show within a show is to give you something to do and to listen to as you wind down, get ready for bed, get comfortable, do something else relaxing.  The intro is kind of a stage in your bedtime routine, even if you’re only using the podcast and you’re not doing anything else.  It gives you some twilight or some distance, like a slow landing to ease you into bedtime.

 

So, that’s the intro, then there’s more support for the show between the intro and the show.  Again, that’s just my…what I…I kinda feel like is best for the show; twice a week for free, over 400 free episodes in the feed.  Then there will be our ongoing episodically modular serialized story, Spice Friends.  Then after that will be thank-yous at the end.  So all told, the show’s about an hour.  It’s here to keep you company, really, but keep you company in a way that you don’t have to listen, to be like a real friend like that, be like, I’m here to keep you company.  You don’t have to keep me company.  I’m here to talk for you not to listen, to just listen to me if you need to.  We’ve all had that experience once or twice in our lives, and that’s really what I’m here to do, whether it was intentional or unintentional.

 

This time, it’s totally intentional; if you want to fall off and fall asleep whenever you want, but you don’t have to.  If you’re asleep, I’m still here keeping you company.  So, I’m glad you’re here.  I work really hard, I yearn and I strive.  I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  I appreciate you coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here.  It’s time for our episodically modular series, Spice Friends, or The Spice Friends, also known in my brain as Big Emojis and the Big Ones.  But I think now it’s…we’ve been going by Spice Friends, which fits.  So, you may be new; this may be your first episode.  Good news; episodically modular is really just a long-winded way of saying you could listen to it in any order.  Anything that happened before this is a prequel, and I’m gonna tell you everything you might need to know.  So, you say oh, wow, I liked those characters, so I’ll go back and listen to the other episodes now.  I might not even hear them.  Even if you’re a completist, you could listen to them in any order, but…so, I just want to take that pressure off you.

 

Now, there is a touch of seriality, but we fix that by me explaining everything in a way just like I did with the intro, a very ineffective way that’s suiting for bedtime.  So, Spice Friends is a tale about a world just like ours, not that far in our future, where at different times in our history, big beings have walked around.  Maybe they’re lizard-like.  Maybe they’re furry.  Maybe they’re moth-like.  They’ve stepped on people’s stuff, you know, and if you’ve ever had somebody step on…you’ve ever stepped on something, like a pair of sunglasses, or you had someone else step on your sunglasses, I guess would be the feeling.  You say well, that’s frustrating.  Those were my sunglasses.  This was happening at a giant scale.  You’ve probably seen it portrayed in movies before or video games or comics or other things.

 

We live in a world where that would happen every once in a while.  It took a while to figure out that oh, it was related to the certain kind of energy…things with a half-life, and not just energy we use in offensive ways, not like BB-8 who moves in spherical ways.  This was half-lifes…you know what I mean.  Once we figured out oh, wait a second, so the Big Ones appear when stuff’s going on with this material, and it causes a lot of havoc.  A bunch of treaties got passed, and then they finally said what if we bury it on an island somewhere?  That kinda worked for a little while, but then people all…just like…there’s rules; people break the rules.  Then the Big Ones returned to different countries, and then President Smith and Vice President Smith were running our…the United…what was the United States in this story.

 

The Big Ones had kinda got out in the world again.  President Smith had been in contact with Planet Zipper, and President Smith was trying to stop these different big beings from dealing with Earth and stuff.  President Smith had to make a couple hard choices.  One, kind of had to cause a separation of Nevada and California from the rest of the United States, thinking that would take care of this one big dinosaur-like being.  It didn’t work.  Then President Smith had kind of a serum or something, or a beam that changed President Smith into a Big One.  Now, if it was a movie, President Smith and this Big One would have done a little dance-off, but instead President Smith faked out the Big Ones and got them all to go to Big Ones Island to kinda do their dance-off there.

 

But what they didn’t realize is that Planet Zipper had this…what do you call it?  A hibernation ray that caused our entire planet to go into hibernation.  The Big Ones, since they’re so big, they stay in hibernation longer.  Worked out pretty good.  So, everybody woke up from hibernation.  They were trying to come up with a plan to deal with the Big Ones when they came out of hibernation.  President Smith had sent a team of astronauts to Planet Zipper.  Meanwhile, socio…what do you call it?  International diplomacy and that kind of stuff had some complications in a world where everybody’s asleep and all that kinda stuff.  So, there’s different governmental structures at this time.

 

But then Vice President Smith, she became president not of the United States but of this CN, the Collective Nations, which we…in short term, pop culture you’d call it President of the World.  She was now President of the World.  Technically though, only the nations that were working together cooperatively.  She was waiting for the…she knew the Big Ones were gonna wake up soon, and she was waiting for this astronaut to return from Planet Zipper, or astronauts.  Finally, the astronaut gets back, and the astronaut…she says okay, what’s…do you have more of that serum or what are we gonna do about the Big Ones?  The astronaut basically said well, did you get my instructions to slowly create a cereal company and a children’s television company with these popular characters?  She said we did, actually; we did.

 

The astronaut said great, because that’s gonna be the foundation of how we stop the Big Ones.  She said, I’m sorry, what?  He said don’t worry about it.  She said well, that’s my job as President of the World.  He said well, you’re gonna have to hope that this works.  Meanwhile…now, what we didn’t know right away but would make sense is that of course there was one other last-gasp measure the President of the World could take, but…to get rid of all the Big Ones, because the people were thinking about it.  The last-gasp measure was something related to the…what do they call those plates that the Earth’s on?  Intercontinental plates or whatever, and stuff that makes fireworks…type thing.  They said okay, if you do that, it’ll get rid of the Big Ones.  They live on a atoll; technically Big Ones Island, but Big Ones Atoll.

 

But the side effects would be you’re messing with plate tectonics, so it’s gonna disrupt…could big farm a lot of people on Earth and disrupt everybody’s way of life, but it’ll get rid of the Big Ones.  President Smith said well, this is…that’s a pretty big decision for one person to make.  But they said yeah, the Big Ones could be wreaking havoc everywhere, where this would just wreak havoc…and she said, everywhere.  So, it was a argument ‘cause some people…President Smith’s cooler head prevailed for the most part.  She said I don’t know, let’s just see this out.  But meanwhile, she said okay, but the…she goes, you don’t…so again, you don’t have any kind of ray or beam?  The astronaut said no.  She said, what about Planet Zipper?  Are they gonna…?  The astronaut said, I’ve lost contact with Planet Zipper.

 

She said, could you be more specific on your plans?  After a couple episodes, the astronaut said yeah, here’s the plan; through teaching children song and dance and acknowledging feelings about stuff, something might just happen, maybe won’t happen, and that’ll help us deal with the Big Ones.  President Smith had a reaction like that; oh boy, that’ll be interesting.  Now meanwhile, it turns out…I mean, it was really about hope.  The person said, we’ve gotta hope and trust this works out.  President Smith said okay, but that’s not exactly…is that what leadership is?  I don’t know.  I mean, I would interject here that leadership is holding that in balance, and with the other stuff…and then making a decision from there.  So…but it turned out, the astronaut was right in some sense.  So, they did it a couple times; it didn’t work.

 

Then they did it one time and Cinnamon Spice came.  Moth Breath was the first Big One to wake up.  Cinnamon Spice and Moth Breath exited Planet Earth together as a unified being or something.  Then there was another one; I can’t even remember anymore…Garlic and…oh, Bog Buddy.  Garlic dealt with…Garlic and Bog Buddy fused and became kind of their own plant or something, or maybe something…so, it worked a couple times.  So, I guess we…that’s kinda where the story’s at.  We’re in the middle of it.  We live in a world now…Big Ones are waking up on Big Ones Island or Big Ones Atoll, and President Smith has this choice still; do we keep using this kind of somewhat unreliable method that seems very strange of creating children’s programming…oh, because there was a whole theory, manifestation theory, that said that the stuff with half-life doesn’t just cause the Big Ones or attract Big Ones.

 

Our feelings about stuff with half-life being used offensively creates the…manifests the Big Ones.  So, instead of being some sort of interdimensional portal or coming from another world, I don’t know, by jet plane or something…and I mean, obviously President Smith said I’m sorry, what?  So, they just manifest out of thin air?  The astronaut said well, I don’t understand how it works.  It’s a theory; it’s called the manifestation theory.  President Smith said, how is that…?  It said well, if you can manifest Big Ones that step on stuff, Planet Zipper says, wouldn’t that mean you can manifest friends through the similar process?  It turns out…and I guess in a unreliable way or inconsistent way, it’s been proven to be true.  Now, again, we may be proving…we may be using…whatever you do when you say oh, this proves that.

 

You say no, they’re unrelated, but I could see why you’d think that.  So, I do have to put that in perspective, too.  But so, I think that’s where we’re at.  We live in a world where President Smith’s trying to decide do we keep doing this, or do I use this one solution I have?  Because it’s not gonna be any good once all the Big Ones wake up and leave Big Ones Atoll, if they do.  That big solution only works when they’re all on Big Ones Atoll.  By the way, all the know-it-alls in the world are saying what are you waiting for, President Smith?  Do it.  Meanwhile, the astronaut’s saying, let’s just keep making these things, teach children to express their feelings through song and dance.  Again, I’m simplifying it.  Maybe good things will happen from there.  Good things are gonna…and I think what really…you say okay, why is it inconsistent?

 

I say well, because it’s hard to believe any of that, right?  But when you’re really going into it as a part of the process, if you’re actually teaching the…that’s what’s kind of counter…I don’t know.  I guess it’s counter-productive, in a sense.  If you let go and be a part of the process, then it kinda works.  But I mean, how could you be…want to be a part of the process when you know the end result you’re trying to achieve, especially when it’s a giant spice-based being dealing with some sort of other giant.  So, not a easy situation to be in, but when you have giant Cinnamon Spice on your side, you say okay, I know all’s gonna be well, too.  So, without further ado, what do you say we get here with our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas?  Thank you.

 

The ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, the friends beyond the binary, it’s time to get spicy.  Yeah.  It’s time for another episode of Spice Friends.  Ooh, that’s spicy.  Thank you, Ant…that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas.  We’re gonna play a little…I don’t know what we’re gonna play.  Hopefully for the next forty-five minutes we’ll be playing laying silently without moving or breathing loudly or smiling, or whatever other charming things you do that are…that can be picked up by the mic that…back when I could just have you sit in your car, still somehow…even over Zoom, even when we’re supposed to Zoom later, I can somehow hear him being charming.  But I appreciate that he drives from Los Angeles here just to record these things on a totally voluntary basis.

 

Beyond my understanding why you ever come, Antonio, but I do appreciate it, even though I show my appreciation by creating gripes.  It’s time for another episode of Sleep With Me, some Spice Friends.  This is like the…I’m just laughing because Antonio patted me, ‘cause he said that was pretty much the most honest I’ve ever been with him.  So, I’m touched that I was touched by Antonio Banderas.  This is Spice Friends.  Thanks, everybody.

 

Okay, this is…wait, I’m supposed to say something.  This is the President of the World here, which I would never say, except that you told me that you’d know it was me if I said it was President of the World.  I guess I’m…because I’m not technically President of the World; I’m president of the Cooperative Nations, which is not the world.  Only people will say it represents the entire world.  It does not.  I mean, I do…I am president of nations around the globe, around Planet Earth, so I’m proud of that.  It’s not that I’m not proud of being president.  Technically it’s not even president, but whatever…the head of the Cooperative Nations.  But sure, this is President of the World Smith, and I’m recording this message, but I’m hoping that you’re listening to it…funny, huh?

 

But listening into it, possibly, which I know is possible, or you’re listening to the recording.  So, ideally you’re listening to it now, or soon after, though there’s no way even though I paused on ‘now’ that you could send me a sign that you were listening in to it.  But you’re hearing this, you know that I’ve been escorted by…I’m an unwilling participant in a excursion to Big Ones Atoll.  My escorts, we could say, are a team of representatives from the non-Cooperative Nations, as well as some members of my own cabinet who have decided that my decision-making is not in line with theirs, and they’ve said their decision-making power is greater than mine, or more enlightened or better, that they’re seeing things clearly and I am not.  Again, this was something we anticipated.

 

It was something even my father had talked about once he learned…when the Big Ones returned, because he said wait a second, no one had…there’s these kind of programs going on underneath the surface.  I’m supposed to be president of the United States and know about this stuff.  If I had known about it, I would have put a stop to it, and the Big Ones would have never returned to…so, well…so, I’m here — I’m laughing because oh boy, is it enjoyable — with my escorts, and they have a plan to…they’ve made a decision to have me activate deep in the earth’s crust the device below Big Ones Atoll that will cause some new continental drift, is what we’re presuming, or some continental shifts in the tectonic plate system, resulting in…right below Big Ones Atoll, so it…scientifically, I think they said that the device has multiple backups itself.

 

So, this is…has a high likelihood of success, but it’s a high likelihood of success that…well, it’s also…it’s gonna happen if this device is activated.  I, as President of the World, the people that look to me for leadership or whose interests I’m supposed to act on behalf will be negatively impacted, as well as the Earth and the Earth’s crust.  I say well, we’ve gotten into a lot of big messes.  Should we really be messing with plate tectonics?  But they don’t really care about the cost anymore.  They are…and I guess this is just my words for it; in full…they’re in full limbic mode, even though they don’t realize it.  They think they’re thinking very clearly.  Maybe they are, from their perspective, and this is one of those privilege things that they think at least that they’re gonna escape any…and the people they…you know what I mean.

 

They think they’re gonna…they’ll…they won’t feel any of the effects of it, though I’ve tried to explain to them that it can only be activated while I’m here, and that that of course creates a disincentive from using it, and there’s really no way for them…but so, I think…but again, these are representatives of the representatives, of course.  Heroes, they’re calling themselves.  So anyway, I can’t…I’m already finding myself not using my time effectively to communicate with you, but I hope the gravity and likelihood of their success is coming across in an immediate way.  But also, I’m making some…I’m trying to figure out a plan, and I guess talking it out and maybe moving on from those feelings and those resentments I was having is a part of it, so…’cause I don’t want that decision, I don’t think.

 

I guess there was a part of me that’s still questioning is this the best choice, and maybe that makes it even harder.  But it’s like, your solution of dealing with the Big Ones as they awake in a way that doesn’t seem to have…that, at least, is a known unknown, and choices that still can be made, where this is a choice that once made, we don’t have any other choices after that other than dealing with the ramifications.  So, it’s like a known…creating unknowns or something.  I don’t know what the…the difference is that yeah, it’s not easy for me to take this plunge with you and have hope that you’re…that this is gonna keep working, or even that it worked in the past, ‘cause we don’t really know if any of those Big Ones are gonna return or whatever, even though it seems like they’re gone.

 

So, it’s like something where the outcome isn’t clear versus somewhere where the outcome is clear, and to them, they want the clarity and the choice and the easiness of what they feel like is just pressing a button.  So, I guess I’m gonna tell you the first part of my plan, because we made camp and the…this is my second recording, but hopefully you listened to that first one and you’ve been planning.  But we made camp not very far from Long Feather, that long, feathery Big One.  It’s Long Feather, but I say it’s like a long fur.  It’s a long…you know, one of those thin…it looks like it’s partially from myth and partially from…well, I guess I’ve never seen it existing in those…we’ve seen it in parade celebrations for different New Years versions of it in mythology throughout different places in the world.

 

But it’s long, it’s feathery, a little bit like a D-A-R-G-O-N, but not the lizard kind.  I don’t know.  But you know what I mean, Long Feather.  Long Feather is sleeping, circled and circled and circled.  Very cute, I would say, at a distance.  I’ve made a choice that is already…I guess I’m telling you this because it’s gonna happen, is that Long Feather is gonna wake up, hopefully.  They did allow me to bring some assistants with me who…they underestimated their abilities, and I told one of them this is the plan; get out of camp and wake Long Feather up, and you’ll…then try to find your way back to us or lay low.  But wake Long Feather up.  If you can come back to camp, Long Feather knows your scent and maybe follows; even better.

 

So, and because it’s Big Ones Island, they’re not really watching us super closely other than me.  My assistants, they’re like…so anyway, so, that is happening, or has happened, and they’re making their way back to the camp or whatever.  We had to do something.  So, that’s stage one.  Now, stage two is…hold on; I’ll be back.  Okay, stage two…I’m back.  Long Feather is awoke, or woken, and that has caused us to pick up the pace because I didn’t realize how much the Earth would turn…they had no idea.  My assistant made it back to camp no problem.  We’re here; we’re waiting for the…this elevator that’s gonna take us below Big Ones Atoll.  It’s built into a tree.  It was pretty cool, pretty cool design.  It’s not really a tree though; it’s a concrete…it looks like a sequoia.

 

It doesn’t really fit on this island, but they figured that they…they actually made a grove of sequoias, of real and fake, to surround it so it wouldn’t stick out as much.  Then they also had…whatever; not important.  It’s quite a feat of engineering.  But so, the elevator is going to open up, and the door…here’s my plan; now, if you can help me with this and you’re listening, please do.  But currently, our plan is to try to jam the door and leave it open.  So, unfortunately…and you probably won’t want to hear this, but again, you’ve asked me to trust you; now you have to trust me and at the same time, start working on your own plan to help us.  But we’re gonna try to leave the door…leave something so the door won’t close.  Now, I don’t necessarily think that’s gonna work, because why would they?

 

I’m gonna make up a story about the doorknob being able to be locked, or that it’ll lock from the inside.  But if you could leave the…if you could open the door remotely, just in case we don’t do that, I think that is possible.  So, that would be awesome if you…if that’s possible.  That’s a big part of our plan, too, the door remaining open.  If it’s not open, I will try to send some of my staff to sneak out and open it later.  So, if you can’t keep it open…it would just save us…oh, so, the elevator’s here.  I don’t know if you know much about this facility under Big Ones Atoll; it’s where some of our monitoring equipment is, and beyond it…it used to be where they would maintain the old devices, and then they’ve built and expanded from there.

 

Basically…currently, it’s just been monitoring, but then it’s also where another elevator that goes into the Earth’s crust and into the plates is, and that’s where the device is.  So, yeah, we’re gonna get on this elevator.  I’m just pretending I’m talking to my staff, so we’ll be back.  Okay, so, we’re back.  I lost the debate about keeping the door open, so hopefully you are able to open the door, because as we were going to get on the elevator, Long Feather came.  Oh boy, does…I’ve never seen something that can crawl and fly and is kinda long and thin, and kinda does spirals.  So, we had to move real fast, and of course had to close the door.  Everyone went down, we went down, we went down, really quiet on the elevator, obviously.  Also, the elevator was kind of vibrating.

 

I had to change tactics, to tell them don’t worry, that’s a well-designed door.  Long Feather won’t get in.  Even then, Long Feather will probably be confused by the elevator shaft.  So, we’ll see.  I definitely could use your help though, one, keeping that door open, but two, there’s strong feelings I’m having.  I’m trying…I’m putting them in a place to be dealt with soon, hopefully by song and dance.  I don’t know how you could do that.  I do know that maybe you could access remotely the monitors and systems inside the building.  Most of the staff is gone, because that was part of the protocols as the Big Ones woke up.  Part of the staff left the island, but then due to my unscheduled escort to the island, most of the staff is gone.  Again, they…I don’t know.

 

So, they go…we’re down and we’re waiting for the device to come up from the crust of the Earth, or the…wherever.  I don’t know.  I’m not a geologist.  Of all my areas of knowledge…it turns out it takes a while, which they don’t…they’re very unhappy with.  Because we’re so far down, we’re pretty far from the door, so we’re removed from that shaking.  So, their impatience and lack of knowledge…they’ve tried to find the cameras and to see if they could see Long Feather.  I guess I’m trying to wonder if you were even listening to these things, like what other plans and options I have, because that’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about, is what is…what other arguments can I make to them?

 

But for the time being, I’ll just figure it out, because I told them we had to bring the device up, that I had to put some stuff into it, program it, and also had to confirm I was me.  So, we’ll see.  I mean, I guess I’m just waiting, and I guess I’ll get some rest.  I’ll be back, but if you’re hearing this again, it would be great to have some broadcasts, maybe even that seems like a glitch or something.  Also, we’re trying to pass the time while this comes up from the elevator, that maybe there’s some morning shows that someone finds access to.  I don’t know.  Well, good morning, and good news for us, because they did start playing with some of the monitoring devices, and I guess there was a big sports ball game happening in one of the independent states.

 

They wanted to watch that, then the signal went out, and right now, the only thing they can access is…we’re waiting for your show to start.  Right now it’s some replays, but it has…I take that as a good sign.  So, we’re…the device should arrive here any minute, and I’m gonna start working on it.  I have a plan, and hopefully…I know you probably don’t think it’s a good idea to keep that door up there open, but I do feel like it’s a good idea, and so…yeah, please do.  Okay, so, it’s me.  Pretty strong feelings here now.  I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice, ‘cause I’m trying to get ready.  You’re saying a show is starting soon.  Let me kinda give you what’s happening down here.  So, down here, what happened was the device came up; I said okay, we gotta move it here to this middle floor, and it’s gonna take a while.

 

They said this is just…you’re just wasting time.  I said no, I’m not wasting time.  Do you want me to get this device ready or not?  I said, if I’m wasting time, go ahead and show me what I’m supposed to do.  They said you’re supposed to stick a key in there or hold your hand on something.  I said no, there’s a series of delays between steps on…so that you could think about the choice that you’re making, obviously, in case we were in a situation like this or just a situation where I was by myself doing this.  I said, those are impossible to override.  I thought of that.  I made it up, too.  It’s like…but it makes sense.  Next time we design one of these devices, that’s exactly the plan.  But they did buy that, and they said…because I did kinda say okay, so, the device has to actually be assembled; that’s the thing.

 

There’s all these parts you didn’t notice, but…because it’s a very impressive-looking thing, but it has these blocks that are actually the elements that are gonna be…that’s gonna cause all the reactions.  They purposely chose these elements ‘cause they don’t have any half-life-based…you know, that there’s no fission or…this isn’t a fission or a fusion device; it’s something they’ve been working on.  They said, we know that.  I said okay, well, you don’t know how the device works though, clearly.  I said so, I also need to think, so please, please let me think.  So, the device has all these things.  Like I said, it has a lot of material of this one element, but they’re all in these blocks, right, that you’re putting together.  That part is true, or otherwise it won’t work.  I have the knowledge in my head.

 

Of course there’s other places they could put it, so there’s different…again, there’s different…we don’t have to get into the inane details, but I took one of the blocks and I gave it to one of my staff members, and I said put this on the elevator to the surface.  Hopefully the door is open, and just see what happens.  They said no, no, I’ll go to the surface and…and I said no, no; the door is open.  So, we went back and forth.  I said okay, how about this; if it doesn’t work, you could go to the surface.  So, we sent that up, and it wasn’t long before Long Feather got…the door was open; thank you.  Long Feather ate the material, which again, kinda goes into that feeling theory of yours.  Like, this material carries strong feelings and Long Feather had a strong reaction after eating the material.

 

Almost like the elements…whatever, kinda manifest…different than your manifestation theory, but elemental or whatever.  So, Longfellow then came down the elevator shaft and has been making a lot of chaos down here now.  The team that brought me here did manage to get the device back into the elevator, down, even though it’s not complete, with me, and got those doors closed so that I could keep working on the device.  I’ll be honest; now, everybody else…this facility is pretty big and it has a lot of good places to lie low.  Long Feather is very distracted by getting in here with me and getting to the elements of the device.  So, I’m trying to figure out what to do, because…and I noticed the show’s starting, and I told my staff to…if the show starts to focus on the monitors and that I will focus on the monitors, and we will sing and dance in our hearts and our heads, whatever’s happening.

 

So, we’re gonna do that.  Also, I’m not gonna assemble the device.  I keep going back and forth, to be honest with you.  What I hope to do is to get the device…to get rid of the device, to get it up to the surface, as far away from the Earth’s crust…if it’s on the surface, there’s not much you can do.  Maybe I can do that if there was a distraction, and maybe Long Feather would even go to the surface, too.  So, that’s my current plan, is to keep the…I’m disassembling the device.  Okay, so, the show is starting.  I’ll be back; I’m gonna dance and sing in my heart, just like your characters are.  Okay, so, I’m back.  I don’t know if you’re listening live or afterwards or not at all.  I guess at this point it doesn’t matter, because things are still progressing.  I think all of us feel really good after that.

 

It’s strange how those things work, but seeing how everybody’s feeling, imagining how other people in the room are feeling, dancing that out, thinking about Long Feather’s hunger and a new food; that was a interesting take on it, a new food…tasting a new food hunger.  So, all that is happening, and…but it didn’t really seem to change Long Feather’s thoughts about it, and so…again, I’m trying to figure out…I’m just hoping…I’m trying to communicate with them…that are in the room, because they keep telling me what to do and to hurry up and to just send it down.  I’m trying to figure out…I mean, they…it seems like their feelings were a little bit abated by everything, but not totally.  So, right now, status is I’m not sure.  I mean, we’re feeling better about things.

 

Oh, wait a second, now that…now I’m thinking of something.  So, what if I…?  They don’t…I’m gonna propose that we try to distract Long Feather long enough that I can get a piece of the device out and we could try to get Long Feather to the surface.  So, that’s gonna be the current plan, is…oh, wait a second, now something else is happening with the elevator.  It’s like a strong smell, like a citrusy smell.  It seems like there’s something green coming in through the giant elevator doors that go to the shaft that are open.  It’s like a…is that a rolled-up leaf that kinda rolled itself up so it could get down…?  It is.  Okay, that’s a giant leaf.  I would say it’s a kaffir lime leaf if it’s just…it’s just in my head, because that’s a character on Spice Friends, of course.

 

So, if…I guess if I’m setting…I don’t know if you could see a camera in here, but so, we have a giant, beautiful, long, feathery being, and a giant, smiling leaf standing in the…leaf is…well, the leaf was slowly unrolling, but Long Feather is now embracing in a very…like, in a serpentine manner it’s embracing the leaf before it can unfold.  We could still see its face, but that’s just gonna give me enough time to push this entire device to the elevator instead of one piece.  So, that’s what I’m doing; I’m opening the doors and I’m pushing it as fast as I can.  Oh, actually, the kaffir lime leaf is moving in a way to keep Long Feather’s attention.  I think it’s saying…its body language seems to be saying I see you, I see you’re hungry.  What did people used to say in 2016?  Hangry, they used to say.

 

Okay, I’m on the elevator and I’m about to head up, but some of the…my escorts and my staff are hopping on.  Oh, what am I doing?  What am I doing is trying to manage this situation the best I can is what I’m trying to do.  What’s my plan now?  Well, we had to get outta there, and so, we’re taking the device to the surface.  Okay, I don’t think it’ll work on the surface.  Oh, dear.  So, you do know how to set the device up.  Well, we can’t send it back down there.  We’re almost back to the surface.  So, you’re gonna have to come up with some other plan, because the leaf and…you can feel the building’s shaking somewhere down there.  There’s a dance-off going on between a giant leaf being and a giant long, feathery being.  Oh, those are scales.  Well, some would…one person says it’s a scale and one person says it’s a feather.

 

Maybe you could go down there and double-check for us if you know everything.  So, oh, what is my plan?  My plan is not to set off the device.  It’s exactly…you’re welcome to go back down there.  The device is almost ready, and I will finish assembling it when we get to the surface, and we just gotta push it out here into the light so I can see what I’m doing.  I do have a plan; don’t worry.  It does involve the device.  But I think that Long Feather’s probably gonna follow the device, so we do need to get off the elevator, and I realize that you all want to maintain control of the situation.  But it’s kind of like, you’re gonna have to trust me even though you don’t trust me at this point.  We’re gonna have to work together, because setting off the device is not…no longer an option.

 

So, here’s what’s gonna happen; anybody that wants to volunteer, I’m gonna give you a piece of the device, and we’re gonna spread the device all over Big Ones Atoll as fast as we can while we can.  Oh, you have…oh, so there you go; so if that kinda…that offensive thing you have, you could use that to launch the devices?  Wow, some sort of antimatter…?  Oh, it’s not antimatter.  Whatever it is, whatever that offensive thing you have, why don’t we take those?  We’ll launch the pieces of the device as far as we can, and let’s just spread out and do that before…and then we can hide.  Oh wait, now you’re…okay, so you’re gonna take…okay, so we have…oh, boy.  So, we…even among…your interloper group is split now, so some of us have pieces of the device, and you have what’s left of the device, your group.

 

Okay, I understand.  Oh, and you claim you can know how…that you can enact the final stage of setting it off.  Okay, well, what would that accomplish at this point?  Well, you’re gonna bring it towards the volcano that’s now extinct.  Okay, well…okay, please keep launching those other pieces around the island.  I can feel some activity at the door.  Okay, there’s…okay, so…oh, you’re headed towards the volcano with that device, and that last piece; show it to Long Feather, and now fire it as far as you can.  Okay, so Long Feather is following that device, or whatever, the piece of the device, the element.  I don’t know…oh, there’s the kaffir lime leaf.  Hi.  We see you, dear one.  Okay, we have a bit of a situation, Lime Leaf.  I don’t know if you could hear…if you speak…I don’t know if you…I’m trying to communicate with you.

 

Oh boy, it seems like the other Big Ones are waking up, which would tell me that…okay, so, we gotta get…hm.  Okay, so…okay, here comes…Long Feather’s coming back, Lime Leaf.  So, here’s the situation; we gotta get off the island, and Long Feather’s coming back after eating another piece of that element.  What do you think we should do?  Is that the way a giant leaf being shrugs its shoulders?  Okay.  Oh, you could…oh, thanks for shielding us.  That’s one way you could do it, but I think Long Feather’s gonna learn from that, that bouncing off of the large surface area of a giant leaf…oh, then I guess you could give it…Long Feather a paper cut.  That might not be the solution that we’ve seen unfold thus far.

 

What if we take Long Feather…could you communicate with Long Feather and say hey, we’re gonna get…I know that there’s a lot of yelling going on between the two of you anyway, so maybe there’s a way we could show…I could show Long Feather…I don’t know how Long Feather can’t find the device.  That would be really a big meal, the rest of the elements there, because they’re gonna try to set it off by the volcano, which I don’t think is a viable solution.  Is there a way for you to…oh, okay, that’s a great idea.  So, okay everybody, so, Lime Leaf is gonna…you think we could control Long Feather.  Oh boy.  So, Lime Leaf’s gonna…oh, you’re around, so we should climb…this is a bit like that scene in The Neverending Story.  It looks a little bit different.

 

So, we’re gonna ride on the back of Long Feather, surrounded…kind of on a giant…on a leaf that’s kinda like a jacket…whatever, saddle.  I didn’t realize…that’s cool that you could use…we can hold onto the veins within your leaf and they embrace us.  This feels good.  I didn’t realize a leaf would feel so comforting.  Okay, don’t worry, Long Feather, we’re trying to find the device.  It’s towards the volcano, that way, yeah.  We’re gonna fly there.  Just remember, we’re…we were trying to…whatever lesson we learned through song and dance.  Weren’t you there with us?  We’re trying to learn lessons through song and dance.  Oh boy, but I can see all the Big Ones waking up, and they’re headed towards…seems like whatever that element was, that the Big Ones are…it’s like they’re having those for breakfast.

 

So, that’s not a great part of…that wasn’t a part of the plan, I guess.  But that’s what’s happening; they’re headed towards those.  What are we going to do?  Okay, there’s the device.  Uh-oh, you know what?  It’s a little bit late; I can see there’s a red light, and they’re running away from the device.  Let’s go pick them up, even though they haven’t been generous.  Let’s pick them up.  Long Feather, we can’t let you eat the device ‘cause it’s gonna…it’s probably gonna go…it’s gonna make some sort of bangity-bang.  You don’t want to…none of us want to be near it.  Do you think…Kaffir Lime Leaf, that we could get…?  Okay, thanks for picking them up.  Long Feather, thanks for listening.  What if all of us pet Long Feather?  ‘Cause that’s what I’ve been…I mean, I’m…oh boy, are you soft.  It is fur and feather together.

 

Okay, so just know…oh, now you’re circling up higher and higher.  This is really fun, spiraling…oh, and there goes the device.  Still pretty powerful.  It looks like it’s created some…huh.  It looks like Big Ones Atoll is splitting in half and sinking into the sea.  The Big Ones were just getting up and moving…huh.  I don’t know, there’s a lot of water and stuff.  So, I don’t know what’s happening there, but we got everybody away.  It’s really nice.  You know, Long Feather, you were so beautiful sleeping.  I don’t know if you mind me saying that.  I know somehow be…the way we don’t understand, you kinda came and you got a taste of another element.  Anybody know?  It’d be great if there was a place where…that element is really…you really had to develop the taste for it, huh, Long Feather?  Yeah.  Yeah, I’m just petting you.

 

I’m wondering if…I’m trying to think of where we got that element from, this rare one.  I’m pretty sure it was at the bottom of the sea in one of those sea vents.  Something to do with the bacteria that lives right on the edges of the vents or something like that.  That was the only place it could be produced.  I don’t know if you…maybe you and Kaffir Lime Leaf could go down there.  I don’t know if there’s a way for the two of you to work out the mechanics of that.  I mean, I know leaves can float, right?  Maybe we land…I actually know where it is, because we had…there’s a platform there, or that’s how we were getting to…sending down things.  So, maybe you landed there and let us off at the platform and worked together.  I’m sure there’s nothing the two of you couldn’t overcome.  It seems like you’re getting along.

 

It seems very comforting to be embraced in lime leaf.  Smells great…you both smell great.  You’re soft and you could get down there somehow, or maybe work…maybe we could all work together.  The platform’s huge; maybe you could curl up there…oh yeah, let’s land there.  See that giant landing?  Yeah, and let’s…what if we all keep petting you together and we just rest for now, and then you and the lime leaf can figure it out?  How’s that sound?  I’m petting you so gently so that you could get some rest.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)

Notable Language:

• Buckyball
• Full Limbic Mode
• Bangity-Bang

Notable Culture:

• Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole – “Unforgettable”
• Buc-ee’s
• The Neverending Story

Notable Talking Points:

• Accidentally walking into the peak truth of the podcast
• I lost the debate about keeping the door open
• Let’s pet Longfeather