Summer Fearless Flyers | Subscriber Summer

Summer Fearless Flyers | Subscriber Summer

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and my $20-patrons, this podcast is just for you, patrons $20…at the $20 level. So, thank you for supporting it. This is a rare treat, and let’s…you truly are the ones enabling the show. So, let’s get on with the show. Thanks, patrons.

 

INTRO: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, travel. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of stuff. Like, to keep you company. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, plenty of twists and turns.

 

I’m your bore-bud, and I don't know if any of you are new, $20 patrons, 'cause usually at this part of the show…where I say, if you’re new, here’s a couple of things structurally what to expect. You keep the show going, so I just start off with a little teaser, then we have an intro. I don't know how long this intro will be, 'cause I’m…we’re gonna go through two free…two different Fearless Flyers tonight, so I want to leave time for that, and there won't be any thank-yous and goodnights — just 'cause this is a special episode — other than a big thank-you to you, that’s listening, for supporting the show and also getting your Patreon feed set up so you could listen to the show, 'cause it’s really…it kinda reinforces, hey, you really are bringing the show value, and these occasional rewards tied to our goals is kind of…it’s to kinda try to get people on board, to realize that the Patreon needs to grow as the podcast grows, just to keep even.

 

I think you all know that, and that’s why your goal is kind of pretty…I say, okay, well, what do we…? Usually the Patreon…the $20-goal is to try to add a little bit less than half of the cards that are still invalid for the month. Like, not the ones that…the long-term invalid cards, and then the $10-goal is to add an equivalent number of patrons to all of the cards that are invalid, 'cause you’re already doing a big part. So, structurally what’s…that’s what to expect. Here’s what to…other things to expect; you don’t need to listen to this. You could listen to it during the day or another time, or you don’t need to listen at all. You listen at your leisure, and there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for about an hour.

 

We’re running through a grocery list, and…or, not a grocery list; I’ll probably be making…well, this will be more of, oh, I wish I made a grocery list of this stuff. I actually…I think I may have. We’ll see. I haven’t looked at these ones in a while. But you know there’s a laundry list, and a laundry list is used, I guess, more figuratively. ‘Cause then I said, well, what the heck? As soon as I said grocery list, I thought of a laundry list, and I said, what the heck is a laundry list, really? I mean, the way I’ve been trained in laundry — and actually, I’ve dialed it — is I’ve been parenting, and I’ve changed my laundry habits from even when I was young.

 

We always traditionally were…if you needed clothes and they weren’t washed, you washed…you did a load of laundry at my house growing up, and there was whites and colors…I think were the only two…I think that’s the way we separated our laundry. Maybe there was delicates if someone wanted to wash something separately. We didn’t have a whole lot of…I guess we had the typical laundry drama; too much suds, but that might have been on purpose from watching it in a movie. There was also a time…this is probably a whole separate podcast episode, but there’d be times…because we were six kids, we didn’t always get new clothes, right? So, if you got a new outfit, it was a big deal, especially 'cause we wore a uniform to school.

 

So, the non-uniform days, you wanted…especially in pre-pubescence and puberty, you wanted to kinda look good. So, we’d get usually one outfit — I’m thinking of the spring and the summer — to wear to the school picnic or the Dress Down Day, they called it. I remember I got…the one I got, the day I wore it to school…of course, it was a pair of grey, off-white shorts, I think, and a pen exploded. The first day I wore shorts; a pen exploded in my pocket. I was devastated and I didn’t really…I guess I should have asked my mom for help. I don't think there was any helping these. But then I tried to wash them with bleach to bleach the stain out, and I put so much bleach in there, the shorts actually disintegrated. I mean, not 100%, but…I mean, that’ll be…go on my laundry list, to buy laundry.

 

But I mean, if you had an expansive laundry list, you’d have delicates, colors, whites, and towels, maybe. Then maybe if you added a fifth one, you’d say, bedding. But usually for me, I don't know, bedding and towels I’ll do together, for the most part, except drying. Usually that fitted sheet causes a lot of issues, and a duvet cover. I just experienced that last week. I don't have a lot of white clothes; neither does my daughter, so we actually just do towels and bedding and then laundry, and then…yeah, I think…I can’t think…I have a white dress shirt from my brother’s wedding over a year ago that I’m waiting to wash ‘til I have something else to wash it with. So, that’s…I guess that’s on the list. But what else? So, that’s a laundry list. They say, well, you’re…I don't know, I guess I haven’t…that terminology.

 

Maybe it has fallen out of parlance. ‘Cause, what do you say, I’m putting you on my laundry list? Or, I say, well, I just…I got a laundry list of things…it’s more of a to-do list now. I mean, would a laundry list be like, okay, I need socks…is it a list of laundry, like a packing list? I know some people that know what a laundry list is. They’re like, Scoots, it’s this. I say, okay, well, I didn’t know that. ‘Cause, yeah, you say, well, a list of laundry…I say, well, that’s more…a packing list now. You say, you got your underwear; check. Socks…those are the first two things I usually pack, 'cause those are just…they really don’t have to be folded. I use a little cubey-cube; I shove them in there. Then you need shirts. Okay, maybe a dressier shirt. Okay…pants. Okay, what pants am I wearing? Shorts? Is it gonna be shorts?

 

The main place I travel is my parents’ cabin or whatever, camp, and I actually leave clothes there, clothes that are like…I say, well, I don't know if I want to donate this. I’ll just…well, actually, I don't even need to do it anymore. I just have them in a bin, and so, when I go to visit them…not in Florida but in upstate New York…I brought one…my favorite bathing suit back with me, so I’ll have to bring a bathing suit next time. I mean, I have a back-up bathing suit. But yeah, I have shirt…t-shirts, short…I think I have shorts, though I brought…I think I brought a pair of shorts back. I guess this is working the wrong way. But for the most part, I have a week’s worth of clothes there, even…yeah, I have undergarments, even. Undergarments, t-shirt, and shorts, usually, and I barely wear a shirt when I’m there, or try not to.

 

So, that’s a laundry list I don’t need. I say, well, what do I really need? Maybe a nicer shirt? Something to wear there and back? A couple extra pairs of underwear and socks, stuff to run in, and just in case, a pair…whatever I wear on the plane, I would say, well, if I’m gonna go do something nice, I’ll dress nice, casual for the plane ride. Then I have that. So, I guess…what was I covering there? I have no idea. I guess a laundry list. Oh, I was thinking of a grocery list, and a list of sleepy things would be kittens, pillows, blankets, creaky, dulcet tones, snoring dogs, clouds, smiles. Maybe cotton candy if it’s not near you, you know…images of cotton candy. What else would be…I don't know why I think of bears dressed as ballerinas, but that just came in my head. I don't know how sleepy that is.

 

Maybe…'cause you say, well, maybe I’m asleep now. There’s bears dressed as ballerinas. Yeah, they’re doing the la pointe or whatever, the Poussonte or whatever it’s called, heel-toe-heel. Maybe tap-dancing. What is that? What kind of animal is that tap-dancing? I think it’s a gator buddy tap-dancing. Shuffle-ball…shuffle off the buffalo. The shuffle-ball change. Oh, boy. So, those are some…those are…that’s a list of sleepy things. More like a cloud. I don't know if my brain, in this podcast, works unless it works more in clouds. But yeah, here’s a list of things I have to say to you; thank you very much for supporting the show at a level of…equivalent to what a pizza would have cost. You could still get it…almost…you can almost get a pizza delivered for twenty bucks a month here.

 

It wouldn’t be…but you’d be better off saying, well, let’s just make our own, which will be good as we run through these Fearless Flyers. But really, thank you so much for supporting the show. I can’t compliment you enough. You’re the few of the fewest, or the fewest of the few. I don't know…I didn’t…I haven’t looked at…this is October 2nd I’m recording this. Haven’t looked at September statistics that closely, but probably somewhere around 750,000 different people listened to the podcast more…once or more last month, and there’s probably 200,000 people listening on a regular basis, consuming the podcast regularly, either four to eight times a month or more. There’s some people that…I bet you there’s probably 40,000 people that probably consume twenty or thirty episodes a month. In fact, I’m pretty much sure of it. So, we’ll say there’s 30,000 people that listen very regularly.

 

I mean, near nightly or more. So, five…twenty nights a month or more. Twenty nights in a month or more. Probably 50,000. Maybe even 100,000. I don't know. Then, yeah, there’s about 4,500 people that support the show. Because of how I started the Patreon, a lot of those are at the dollar-level, then, yeah, it trickles down to out of that tiny percentage…so, thank you. It really does…especially those of you that believe in value for value. A lot goes into making the podcast, and there’s a lot of stuff that goes in…behind-the-scenes to distribute it, especially at this point that there’s so many listeners, and it literally wouldn’t be possible because of…without you, the $20-sponsors and the $10-sponsors and the $5-sponsors. And $1-sponsors are important. I know people have to jump around and stuff, too. But really, these level of sponsors are what really keeps the show existing, 'cause there’s…yeah. So, thank you. I guess I didn’t mean to turn it into that. So, let’s get over to Trader Joe’s. What do you say?

 

So, we have two of these, and it’ll be a trip back to summer. This one’s from June 2018, the summertimes Fearless Flyer, Vol. 2, #6.5. Always free and worth every penny. This is a short one, so it only has…it’s a four-page fold-out, like a regular newspaper. Starts out with drinks on us. They have French sparkling lemonade. $2.99 for a 750 ml bottle. The suppliers’ been crafting lemonade in a small French village. Oh, really? I don't think I’ve tried this, and if I have, it’s been a while. Comes from a natural spring inside the bottling room. Okay, I gotta get some of this. It’s $2.99. I think that’s what has kept me from that, but I’ll think about it. I’ll definitely think about it. I think they also have pink lemonade; I’m not sure if it’s the French kind.

 

But that’s good marketing, ‘cause I said, wait a second, the spring’s inside the bottling room? The image that evokes makes me want to buy it. This one’s big with Sophia’s mom. She loves this. She let me try it; coconut cold-brew concentrate. 50%…I mean, I’m a big cold-brew drinker. I know Melissa would turn me onto it, one of the $20-patrons, and I’ve been making it and refining my methods. This is good, though. It’s lush, unsweetened concentrate, plus natural coconut flavor for a tropical take. It’s best reconstituted with water. $4.99 for twelve ounces, or sixteen…oh, sixteen fluid ounces, which makes four twelve-ounces of…cups of coffee. So, five bucks for four high-end cups of coffee. Now, this one’s a must-buy and always keep in stock.

 

I keep one in the car, usually one in my podcast go-bag, but now I don't know where…I know I have one in the bathroom; mineral sunscreen stick. 50…SPF 50, mineral sunscreen stick. Non-nano zinc oxide. Water-resistant to eighty minutes. Coconut and avocado oils, natural waxes. It does get softer in your pocket, but…yeah, I have tons of those, and it’s $5.99. Really good because the zinc keeps the sun off your face. They had watermelons for $2.99. I’ll eat watermelons at somebody else’s house, but it’s too much work. This is a Hyronic…hydronic moisture-boost serum. I don't have this. I do buy their daily moisturizer when I remember. But this one’s $8.99. It’s a serum. I did try another serum of theirs, but then I felt like…I felt…I judged myself. I said, are you putting on some sort of antioxidant serum?

 

Who are you? Snacking the day away…quinoa and black bean-infused tortilla chips. Haven’t tried these. My fear with stuff like this is that good tortilla chips are so good that once you had those, it’s tough to…when you have something, you’re like…you know what I mean. I think you know what I mean. Chunky salsa…is this our spiciest salsa? I never find myself…I guess the same thing goes for salsa; I do buy Trader Joe’s…Trader Joe, cover your ears. I do tend to buy these from time to time, maybe to use in some sort of dish, then I never complete them. Usually they can be good to finish…or add to some red rice, but I just find Trader Joe’s tortilla chips and salsa to be passable. Spicy cheese crunchies…I haven’t had these. They’re gluten-free corn crunchies, baked, not fried. I would assume they’re like those hot Cheetos.

 

Yeah, 'cause they show…not even the world-class shatter…shadow puppetry can disguise the reach for Trader Joe’s spicy cheese crunchies with orange fingertips. Okay, Page 2, flat-iron steak, $12.99 a pound. That is really good for grilling and marinating. BBQ-rub seasoning with coffee and garlic. I think I talked about this last year. $1.99. I don’t think I bought it this year 'cause I still had some, and I do find that while it’s good, it’s not…oh boy, Trader Joe’s, I’m sorry, it’s not great and it does tend to scorch a little. That’s probably my biggest issue. Uncured beef hot dogs…I get all their…don’t…here’s a piece of advice; don’t buy their grass-fed uncured beef hot dogs. These aren’t the ones. These say they’re just uncured, but don’t buy the grass-fed ones. Trust me on that.

 

These are without casings, so…they’re 100% beef, though. I can’t remember if I’ve tried those, but…so I can’t make a judgment. Sausage with sausage…I haven’t tried that. Bone-in chicken thighs. Chicken thighs are always good. I love grilling or baking chicken thighs, or frying them. If they’re bone-in, yeah, you can leave them on the grill a little longer, and they’re just easier to grill, though you gotta be careful with the skin on. Organic brown sugar BBQ sauce and marinade…I may have tried this, but I can’t remember. Grilled jerk chicken skewers with mango chutney…I don't think my daughter is a big fan of jerk…she’s got enough jerk…she’s got one big jerk in her life, so…but yeah, so, I don't think I’ve tried that.

 

Let’s see, they have hamburger and hot dog buns, of course, though again, that’s another thing…I recommend going to a smaller market or a mass market for your…I don't know why; I just find that…I think 'cause Trader Joe’s specializes…their bakeries are probably further out. This is just a guess, but…and so, they freeze everything and then thaw it, and it just…some of their breads can handle it, but I find the buns just don’t handle it well. You taste it and you just say, this is just either the mouthfeel…it tastes fine, but not great. You say, if I could go to a mass market supermarket and get something that tastes just better for the same price, I’m sorry. Just a handful…almond, cashews, cranberries trek mix. I’ve been using the super berry or something. Really good. New Zealand organic cheddar; that sounds delicious.

 

Sandwich pickles…I don't eat enough sandwich pickles. When I buy them, I’m…I get stuck with them, but those sound good, 'cause you really need a pickle if you’re gonna have…make…be making burgers and stuff. They had bouquets of sunflowers and chrysanthemums. I still gotta get a flower vase. So, that’s on my list. Lemon-basil pasta salad. That sounds tasty. Citrus chicken salad; that also…I’ll have to try one of these one time. Organic Mediterranean salad salad kit. I think I did have this one. Cheddar, broccoli, radicchio…I don't know, I didn’t…flatbread strips and roasted chickpeas. Maybe I’ll try that if I see it. I’ve seen these ones; Enjoya peppers.

 

They start off green but then they get this yellow-orange…but they’re two peppers for $3.79, where bell peppers are $0.99, so you can get your own…for three bucks, you get three…a orange, red, and a yellow bell pepper for three bucks. Two leeks for $2.99. I would…if leeks come in a meal kit with Green Chef…I love leeks, but I don't know, I guess I don't have the patience — if it doesn’t come in a meal kit — to cook with them. Organic sugar plum tomatoes…I do like their tomatoes, but they can’t…when you get their plum tomatoes, sometimes…again, it’s just unpredictable. You can get them by…get them, buy them…get them home in two days, and they’re…they stay good for a week or two, but then other days, two days later, they have already that milky taste. You say, these tomatoes are going bad.

 

So, it’s worth it, 'cause you say…especially, they have these mini-heirloom tomatoes. Those are the ones I like to get. Pre-sliced mozzarella log; $4.99. Sparkling hard seltzer; no thanks. I thought that was…fresh bruschetta; I don't know if I’ve bought that. Green Goddess salad dressing; I gotta try this. Everybody says it’s great. They also have a fresh miso carrot dressing that’s great. I finally tried that, but it goes fast, so you’re better off making your own. Rice cauliflower; I haven’t tried that yet, but it sounds great. $1.99 for a twelve-ounce bag in the freezer section. Let’s see, Moroccan mint tea; I haven’t tried that, but that sounds good. Pineapple juice; I do buy these. I still have…maybe I’ll have one later. Oh no, I buy the four cans. This one comes in a 64-ounce carton, which is probably pretty good.

 

Organic, cold-brew coffee, ready to drink. Nitrogen-infused, it says. That sounds pretty good. Ten-ounce bottle; $2.29. Maple Ladder cereal; we tried this at my house. It didn’t make it. It’s a blend of chickpea, yellow corn, and rice flours, kind of a bit like those old Alphabets were. That’s kinda what I would…but it just didn’t…honey graham crackers; I haven’t tried those. Peach bellini jam, gluten-free whole-grain bread…my daughter talked me into getting a gluten-free white sandwich bread from Trader Joe’s about a month ago, and they were these small slices of bread and it was perfect for breakfast toasting or a kid’s sandwich, and then we went through it in about two weeks. Then when I went to try…I said, you want to get that same bread as last time? I was resistant to buying it. I said, well, this bread’s pretty good.

 

She said, no, I don't like that bread. I said, well, why’d you get it last time? She said, I thought it was something else. So, that didn’t work out. French vanilla ice cream; I have this in my fridge. I forgot why I bought it…to make something with my daughter. What did we buy it to put…? Oh, we…okay, that’ll come up in another…maybe in the next…yeah, but we bought it to have something a la mode. So, we still have some of that. Pink-and-white cookies; these are pretty good. I didn’t buy them this year, but they have pink or white…they’re kinda like those animal crackers with the coating, and they usually have little sprinkles on them. Peaches and cream tart; I didn’t have that. I don't even remember seeing that. These two I have; key-lime pie.

 

It’s been in my freezer for about…I guess, whatever, however many months it’s been since…this version of the classic…so, I gotta eat it at some point. It’s been in my freezer for at least eight months. I keep meaning to use…eat it, but I bought it on a whim. I remember one time I was on a plane and the only channel I could watch was a channel that has shark bait…whatever that show is called, Shark Tank, with the business people, and then related shows, and one of the dudes from that Shark show was trying to remake…I was stuck on…that was the only thing to watch on this plane, and I must have not had my computer to do work or I was so overworked that I was like, I need a couple hours of mindless TV. I watched him redo…he goes to businesses and says, you’re doing it all wrong, and it was a key-lime pie company.

 

It was like, three years ago. Then this one; cinnamon squares milk chocolate bar. I think I ate this on the live stream. It’s pretty good, a bit like Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a chocolate bar, but not so good. Again, they hit it out of the park with the breakfast…whatever it’s called. What do they call it? Birthday cake bar or whatever, which they have…inconsistently that’s my favorite. ‘Cause I can tell you…'cause it’s still in my freezer even though we had half of it. So, that’s it for this Fearless Flyer from June. It has a lobster with a top hat. It has some beautiful art on it. Some other drum-playing being with a parasol…a watermelon head, a octopus with a bunch of desserts. Today’s less…oh, lessons on people flying on tea and cold-brew, old-timey swimming people from the 1900s.

 

Yeah, flowers, butter…even a couple butterflies and they’re…Bernie was looking. Okay, so this one is two months later, August 2018. Winter is coming, but not for a while. It starts off with a circus from the 1900s, a picture. You know what? I meant to buy these. I wonder if they still have them; Trader Joe’s mini dark chocolate mint coins. They were inspired by a star-shaped sweet cookie treat we offer during the holiday season. Inside you’ll find a coin-shaped…inside a dark chocolate coating is a coin-shaped chocolate shortbread cookie — wait a second — infused with mint. Wow, I missed out on that. Mango and cream bars; $3.49. Again, I don't know if you’re a regular, hard…long-term listener, but I had a formative event with a orange creamsicle. So, anything fruit and cream in a frozen bar form, I can’t have.

 

I could have peaches and cream oatmeal, but a orange creamsicle…and I don't know what it was. I think up until that point I was fine. Maybe I just had a tummy-tummy at that point, and then I had a real tummy-tummy after. These peanuts go on a date bar…I just got my daughter converted to eating dates. So, maybe I could look at getting this, 'cause it’s got peanuts…dry-roasted peanuts, a dollop of date paste, with peanut butter, flax seed meal, sea salt, and that’s it; five ingredients. So, I’ll have to look if I can get her to try that if they still have it. Kansas-style BBQ sauce. I think I’ve had the Carolina one. BBQ sauce is great for grilling. This one has a long-time residence. Then we had it; we wanted to bring it back. This one’s a replacement and improvement…went through an extensive tasting panel.

 

I’m trying to balance the sugar and smokiness…puree…tomato puree, brown sugar, molasses, hickory smoke flavor, garlic and onion powder, savory notes, paprika, and Chipotle. Comes in two…Trader Joe’s is a good place to get BBQ sauce. Let’s just put it that way. It is, so I’ll agree with…you gotta have some BBQ sauce in your fridge, anyway. This might be the one, or that other one they had. Organic hemp seed bars; this has a woman…a bird-woman in a pink gown. Again, maybe from the 1800s, and she’s saying, seed bars? Seed bars? Back in the day, we called them bird feeders. That’s pretty funny. That is funny. This is organic hemp seed bars, what women called simplicity of glory of expression. Simply snacking is the most glorious form of expression of all. That’s why our organic seed bars start with a simple presence.

 

All organic ingredients pressed together…grab-and-go snack. So, another possible good snack. A mellow balance of nutty, crunchy, soft, and sweet. Versatile, convenient breakfast treat. Let’s see, how many? Each…oh, five bars; 4.4 ounces in the whole box. $2.99. Here’s organic vanilla fudge chip ice cream. I guess for me, to be honest, I say, well, I get vanilla ice cream and put stuff on there, or I’ll get maybe vanilla with cookie. Probably not, though. That’s cookies and cream. I don't know, I guess for me, chips don’t do it. I don't think they ever did. Vanilla mint chip or whatever used to be one of the few go-to’s, but now you could say, well, you’re gonna put crushed Oreos in there. Keep your chips; I’ll take the mint cookies, you know?

 

Then vanilla, I say, well, to me, I guess this is the closest thing to a grandmother’s…I say, vanilla does just fine on its own, vanilla ice cream, or with a bunch of crap on it. Why would you also put crap in there, you know? So, I guess that’s my opinion on that. But this one says, would you eat it in a cup? Would you eat it in a cone? Of course. With apologies on the phone or moon…you’d say, moan…with apologies to the good doctor. Any reason…? Well, I just listed a bunch of reasons why you wouldn’t want to enjoy it. It really is good. I believe that. Could we have called it chocolate chip? Maybe. I guess it’s organic. I don't know, I haven’t done a tasting panel of organic ice creams versus non. Here’s one; organic chicken drumsticks, $1.99 a pound. I did try to get into these.

 

I think it might be a easy way to make chicken for my daughter, and I learned that drumsticks are not as easy to cook as you would think. Chicken thighs are way more flavorful. ‘Cause there’s just too many variables, for me, in drumsticks. No offense. I’d say, the occasional drumstick in a bucket, I’ll eat it, or at a BBQ, but I think what makes you appreciate the drumstick is that it offers you some variety in the midst of different types of chicken. How about organic baby spinach putting the super in superfood? Oh yeah, this is what I have for breakfast every day after I fry my eggs or cook my…or boil my eggs. I use the water…the frying pan to cook the spinach. So, organic chia seeds; I think I might have these. No, no, I have hemp heart or something to add to the breakfast bread I make. They say these are good.

 

I’ve been having them more with Green Chef. It says, a superfood powerhouse. It’s got Omega-3s, grown in Paraguay, no pesticides. $4.99 for a twelve-ounce bag. You’ll find them in the cereal aisle. Cream cheese brioche pastries. I don't know what this is. A brioche bun in a cheese danish, huh? A classic brioche bun, sizable center, with extra-sweetened silky, sweet cream cheese. That sounds pretty good. I prefer a raspberry danish to a cheese danish, but I may try it. $2.99. Let’s see, hummus snack packs; two for $2.29. Lunchbox staple. Mediterranean hummus snack pack with pita chips. I’ll have to look at this for a snack for my daughter. $2.29, so that’s like, $1.15 a serving…or pack it in your own bag in a refrigerated case. I will check that out.

 

Here’s one of their comics; it says, Flyers digested and food devoured…the fearless flems flopped on the sand, finely filled with the food for body and mind. Looks like it has a bunch of people napping on the beach. My brother’s big into these; dark chocolate power berries. Again, they just seem a little bit pricey for me. Acai or acai, blueberry, cranberry, pomegranate. These dark-pigmented berries have two things in common; one, intense flavor, and two, antioxidants. Two, they’re also in the dark-chocolate-covered power berries, a sweet tart treat somewhere between a superhero and a super snack. Oh yeah, you’ll find other similar treats, but this is the only thing you’ll find at Trader Joe’s. Oh, the juices are all combined to make sweet tart jelly…so, it’s not even the real berries. No offense.

 

Sounds delicious, but it sounds more like…it also has cocoa flavanols, though, they say. But I say, just eat it…hey, no offense, TJ’s, but just eat a friggin’ berry, you know? Maybe that’s just 'cause the trail mix I have is absolutely…oh, this one I’ve been meaning to buy and I haven’t 'cause…mostly because of the key-lime pie in my cupboard or my freezer. But this is call…every time I’ve seen this thing, it’s called my name. It’s absolutely party cake time, any time at all. The late chef Julia Child once noted, a party without a cake is really just a meeting. We wholeheartedly agree. So, it’s like a party cake. I’ve seen this thing; it looks good. Trader Joe’s party cake is here without any artificial extras. It’s two round layers of fluffy white cake with rich vanilla buttercream frosting, hand-decorated with rainbow-colored confetti sprinkles.

 

That’s what catches my eye, and they don’t skimp on the sprinkles, either. We leave the top pristine and un-sprinkled so you could personalize it, or just eat it all. Or if you were Scoots, buy it and put it in the fridge for too long. It says one cake serves eight to ten people. I don't believe that. I would say four…I would say you could probably get six servings out of it. One, two…I guess you’d have to go with eight. Yeah, I guess eight servings. So, that’s eight people, I guess. You’re right. But six people, 'cause two people would want seconds, at least. It’s only $6.99. It really does look good, and they…sometimes in the one in Oakland, at least, they’ll put it by the checkout line so then you say, hm, what did you say? Nice to meet you. You’re a party cake, eh?

 

I don't party anymore, but when I do, it’s pretty much eating cake and drinking soda, so…oh boy, I like…is that rainbow confetti sprinkles all…? Oof, oof, oof. Oh, boy. Well, you know what? I’ve got a key-lime pie at home. I’m sorry. What can I say? There’s only room…I mean, unless I ate you right away. So, that’s kinda how it goes in my house. Dark chocolate toasted sesame caramels. I don't even know what this is. Sesame seed, power to elevate even the simplest of recipes, with hamburger buns…without pureed sesame, tahini and hummus wouldn’t be good. Stir-frys…look no further than dark chocolate toasted sesame caramels. Soft, sweet caramel, nutty toasted sesame seed flavor, savory-sweet complimentary combination, then a layer of milk chocolate with crispy…with crispy, crunchy biscuit pieces and even more sesame seeds, and then another shell.

 

That sounds pretty interesting. Again, my fear is that this will end up with all the other Trader Joe’s stuff that…I have some of it; I kinda like it, but then the next week I go to Trader Joe’s and I see something else. That’s why I stopped with that key-lime pie so far. This one I think we’ve had as a snack; mochi rice nuggets…crispy, crunchy. Made from glutinous sticky rice. Sometimes you think of mochi ice cream. However, it also comes in other forms. This is a version of a snack they had at…someone had at a Japanese airport. Rice is turned into a silky smooth paste, and then they stretch that into larger notes, and then it…yeah. I don't know if I’ve had this or not. Maybe I have. Yeah, crispy, crunchy…I think I’ve had it. It’s pretty good. I don't know, I’ve had one from there that was…said it was mochi rice, but it tasted a little bit…what is that stuff called that you…?

 

Rice Crispy treats. Here’s something; my daughter kinda gave up on eating grapes, but these are Thomcord grapes. Dark, purple gem cross-breed of Concord and Thomson grapes. Blue-black…aromatic flavor of the Concord, Thompson’s sweetness. Maybe I’ll try them. $2.99 for a one-pound container in the fresh produce section. There’s also a star down here. I’m not sure what it’s from. It says, you may find small, edible trace seed, much like white seeds in watermelon. Oh, I guess that’s seedless grapes. You can find that in the seedless grapes sometimes. Chipotle vegetable quesadillas. I haven’t tried these. Are they in the freezer section? Yeah. $3.49 for a twelve-ounce box. I don't know, I guess I prefer to make my quesadillas at home. Let’s see what’s in there, though.

 

A flour tortilla, Monterey Jack and cheddar, dried jalapenos. Now, wait a second…marinated in garlic and tomato. That does sound pretty good. I don't know what makes it…I guess just 'cause those don’t have any meat; it’s vegetable, but cheese usually makes me think it’s…there’s gluten-free mac and cheese. Combined cheddar, Swiss, Havarti, and Gouda. It’s extra-thick and creamy. Some gluten-free Bechamel to the four-cheese blend, then it’s a corkscrew rotini made with corn rice and lentil and quinoa flour. It’s a toothsome, weighty, gluten-free mac and cheese that’s just as delicious as any of the wheat pasta compatriots, where people will be saying, wow, that’s gluten-free, not wow, that’s gluten-free; that’s gluten-free. $3.49, a twelve-ounce package in the freezer section. Mediterranean-style orzo pasta salad.

 

I think this…oh no, I haven’t had this, but I’ve had their orzo…or orzo that comes in their…they have a Greek chicken in their prepared meals section that sometimes I’ll get. It’s really good, and it comes with orzo pasta with olives, diced onions, crumbled Feta cheese. So, it might be similar. Really good. What else should we be looking at? How about a chicken burrito bowl? I haven’t had this, but it’s a winner. It says, seasoned chicken breast. Maybe I have once. Brown rice, red quinoa, black beans, corn, bell peppers, cheddar cheese, in a hearty bowl. Southwest style, smoky…maybe I’ve had this once. Twenty-two grams of protein. This sounds pretty good to keep in the freezer, actually, for lunch. Twenty-two ounces…or grams of protein.

 

You could eat it, you could actually make a burrito or tacos, or put it in a salad. 11.6 ounces; $3.49. Here’s something I use almost daily; moisturizing face lotion, SPF 15. It’s here to protect and moisturize your skin all summer long, and other seasons, too. Suitable for all skin types, non-greasy, enriched with Alphabet soup of vitamins including A, C, and E, PABA-free, non-cosmogenic or whatever, which means it doesn’t clog old Scoots’ pores. Offers your skin broad-spectrum protection from UVA and UVB. A four-ounce bottle; $3.99. You’ll find it in our skincare section. Then it has…the sun’s over a piece of rope, saying, I thought I knew radiance, then I started using Trader Joe’s hydrating face sheet mask. It’s down there on the left. How about this; a fresh and flashy alstroemeria? Twenty stems, $4.99.

 

Often referred to by a Peruvian livy…lily or a lily of the Incas. It’s…ethereal beauty, gorgeous flowers, shipped from Colombia. They have a terrific vase life if you change the water, because they are thirsty. Assortment…a variety of colors, so each bunch comes in a single color…on long, straight stems with multiple blooms per stem. They look stunning and they have greater value…$4.99. Get them while they last. That’s always on my list, is to have flowers, but you gotta have…I gotta get some vases. Vases, vases. You say vase; I say vase. I’ll hit up TJ Maxx. Hydrating face sheet mask; single-use sheets are all the rage in the world, and our sheet mask is truly top-of-the-line. 100% cotton to make the sheet. Ingredients it’s soaked in; hylonic acid and honey, rose hips, camellia oils, chamomile, green tea, turmeric, propolis, pomegranate, blue algae, and natural cucumber fragrance.

 

Maybe I’ll try this out, up my beauty a bit. Sold individually, portable…slip one in a birthday card for your bestie. $3.99. They typically sell from $3.99 up to $9.99, but they’ll do it for…Trader Joe’s; $1.99 for all the…treat your face right. $1.99. I think me and Sophia will have to have a spa day. Gluten-free multi-grain bread. I haven’t had this one. Again, I make my own multi-grain bread, so I guess that’s why. Yeah, and it’s just risky, store-bought multi-grain bread, I find. Okay, this page has two opera singers with really big mouths singing, so that’s interesting. Oh, here’s their list. Let’s see what I’ve bought. At the bakery; gluten-free multi-grain bread, a party cake…I had that on my list. Beverages; free-trade coffee cups…I don't have a coffee cup machine.

 

Free trade…I don't have a coffee grinder, so I just buy the ground Trader Joe’s coffee. Green apple sparkling water; I don't think I’ve had a green apple sparkling water. I don't think…of all the ones…oh, watermelon kombucha. I’d like to try that. Pomegranate white tea…I drink the white and green mint tea myself. Twelve-month aged Manchego cheese…cheese party tray. Siligene mozzarella. Those are all coming up later. Chicken burrito bowl, Chipotle…yeah, maybe we should just go to it, 'cause there’s too many…half the stuff on here we’ve gotten to. Lemon shortbread bar mix; this isn’t in my cupboard, but a couple other…like a pecan bar and some other bar mix from other seasons are in my cupboard, unmade. So, one day this will be.

 

Lemonbread short bar mix…or lemon shortbread bar, 'cause I love shortbread…with a twist of lemon. You pull it out of the oven, pour the filling on top, and continue baking. I just looked up the lemon bars for that episode of Good Place, so maybe I’ll just make my own lemon bars. Half-salt cashews…the half-salt almonds have always…roasted almonds have always been good. You say, those almonds are just…50% salt’s just fine. Cashews are nuts in the culinary circles, though some people say they’re seeds, botanically. Accessory fruit known as the cashew apple…let’s see, myriad of ways to eat it, including Green Chef; I had it on the salad last week. These are 50% less, harvested from dwarf cashew trees. Ideal crispness, roasted in rice bran oil with half the salt used in regular roasted and salted cashews.

 

Yeah, cashews are great. $7.99 each and every day. Nutty value, for sure. You silly gooses. Here’s the GT’s organic watermelon wonder kombucha. It’s popular, that kombucha, and we’re hanging ten on it. I’m gonna have to see if they still have this watermelon wonder. It’s Booch’s; organic and raw, gluten-free, vegan, full probiotics, electrolytes, polyphenols, B vitamins, 5% unsweetened organic watermelon juice, which softens the apple cidary vinegar flavor. Yeah, sounds pretty good. Oven-roasted turkey breast…I prefer the Trader Joe’s smoked turkey breast. Or, actually, Sophia does. This is good value; $2.99. Yeah, I mean, their turkeys and hams are a pretty good price, and I think unless you’re gonna go to some actual deli…okay, let’s see what they have to say about their apple mineral water.

 

Even the bubbliest person benefits from a little excess effervescence. Trader Joe’s green apple sparkling mineral water from Stanislaus and Sonoma counties…oh, wow. I’ll have to try it. Carefully added bubbles and natural green apple flavor. So, maybe I would like this. I don't know. I always never…I always say, green apple? But maybe now it’s fall, they’ll probably stop selling it. It comes in that bottle like all the other ones do, even though they don’t have the ones I like…sangria, star fruit, tropical island colada and pineapple; those are my favorites. All gone now. Thanks for nothing, Trader Joe’s. Maybe I’ll try this apple. Soy protein powder, vanilla or plain, it’s $15.99, so that’s a little bit of a stretch. Twenty-three grams of protein per two-scoop serving, too, so, can’t…but it is soy protein if you’re looking for more soy protein.

 

Salmon and sweet potato dog treats; I haven’t had…tried these on Koa. Her breath’s bad enough, I guess, but…cooked sweet potatoes and salmon from Northern Scotland, smoked over natural hardwood. Those are the only two ingredients, dog-gonnit. So, it’s somewhere between a meal and a training reward. So, I’ll think about it, but like I said, Koa’s breath’s bad enough, so…$3.99 for a four-ounce resealable bag. Okay, those of you that use K-cups, $4.99 for twelve K-cups of Colombian, organic, free-trade coffee. Here’s the thing; when I go to places that have K-cups…I guess the people…my parents, they don’t…and I think my sister; I don't think any of them have a Trader Joe’s. A K-cup…when the coffee’s bad, it’s doubly bad through those machines. I say, what is this, burnt…? This tastes like burnt pencil shavings.

 

At least it has caffeine, so that can become a tolerable bean, but…okay, next up is organic pomegranate white tea. Hibiscus flowers and lemongrass. Sounds pretty nice. Pomegranate extract, hibiscus, organic lemongrass round out the flavors. Twenty teabags for $2.49. I’ve seen that, but I’m still working through tea from 2014 or whatever when everybody sent me that tea. Ethiopian fair trade, organic shade-grown coffee. $9.99 for a thirteen-ounce can. Sounds great; I just don’t…I have a coffee grinder and I’m kinda steeped in my ways of drinking coffee. Okay, this one is a hit at my house, not as hip…not as big a hit as the even less expensive just regular Cup-of-Soup ramen, but they have miso or chicken ramen soup, and I’ve had these. It doesn’t have the vegetables, the dried veets and vegetables.

 

I guess this one is chicken, but they’re good if you have other leftovers. Two new soups, just a very typical cup of soup; miso ramen and chicken ramen. Sturdy paper cups that double as your bowl. Oh, they come with a little bit of a oil to kinda…add it…dried seasonings, and then you just add water. They’re $1.29. Then again, if you have some vegetables…even if you have the Cruciferous Crunch, you put that in there with the chicken…or, I have the miso one with sardines. Actually, yeah, that’s a really good…I put it in a metal bowl and I put sardine…smoked sardines and Cruciferous Crunch in the miso, and that’s a healthy lunch with a lot of protein and stuff. Dut and nate bites or date and nut bites is another snack…maximum flavor…almond, blueberry-peanut, cashew-apricot, dut and nate bite…dut and nate bites.

 

Bite-sized price of $3.99 for a 3…5.3-ounce bag. Cauliflower tabbouleh; I gotta try this. Twelve-ounce tub for $3.69. I just don’t know if I’d go through a twelve-ounce tub. Maybe, though, 'cause it’s got…oh, they substitute the bulgur or cous-cous with cauliflower. Huh, that could be interesting as a vegetable or side, especially for a picnic, and it has less carbs, so if you’re looking that…sweet plaintain chips; I think I’ve had these and they’re pretty tasty, but I’m not a big snacker. I stick to my desserts. But it’s $1.99. Here’s this tub of mozzarella; Ciligine, small cherry. So, little pieces of mozzarella. That sounds delicious. That’s why I don’t buy that. I don't know how I can avoid…you make everything caprice. But $3.49 for eight ounces. A cheese party tray; Colby-Jack, Swiss, mild cheddar, and Pepper Jack.

 

I bought this for school lunches before, actually, when you’re too busy or you don’t want to just buy one kind of cheese. I think the end of last school year, not this school year. Twelve-month-aged Manchego, $11.99 a pound. Rainbow wraps; it’s red beet and flour tortilla wrap. $4.99. Rosemary balsamic beefsteak tips; I haven’t had that, but it sounds pretty tasty. $9.99 a pound. Red bell peppers; I buy those. Those are the best for salad, for roasting. Whoa, here’s something I didn’t know; 230% of your daily Vitamin C. Wow, that’s pretty good. I didn’t realize that. Ricotta and lemon zest ravioli; that sounds pretty good, but I don't make a lot of raviolis. Fresh peaches…Sophia doesn’t eat stone fruit, so…nectarine’s my top peach…I mean, my top stone fruit, and then maybe peach, apricot are pretty close.

 

Oh, wait, plum’s second. Pulot’s probably in there. Organic yellow lentil and brown rice pasta; sounds interesting. $2.99. Probably won't ever buy that, though. I like a brown rice pasta, but something about…I guess it just…I say, maybe you should have just called it golden lentils. There you go; organic golden lentil and brown rice pasta. It’s just that yellow…cocoa batons; we got these. Sophia loves these. $1.99 a box. Actually, it’s a tube, by the way, Trader Joe’s. Get it right. Creamy, crunchy, music in your mouth. Delicate chocolate wafer cookies wrapped in a baton with sweet chocolate cream. Then my dad’s favorite popcorn in a bag; organic air popcorn. Just a little oil…ever-satisfying, organic air-pop popcorn, popped in batches using three ingredients; kernels, sea salt, and sunflower oil to get the salt to stick.

 

Or you could get…drizzle on some ghee, extra-virgin olive oil, smoked paprika, garlic powder, seasoning salt, et cetera. $1.99 for a six-ounce bag. With that, that’s it for these two Fearless Flyers. Probably when you hear this, we’ll be in October, and the goal for October will be a on-location episode, and then maybe November it’ll be…so, hopefully…I don't know what the goals will be 'cause right now, October 2, I’m just accessing how many credit cards are not working, so then it’ll be like, will…by October 10, we get back to zero, or how many patrons we ended last month with, and that’s usually…then I assess the goals from there out. But thank you so much for supporting the show. Couldn’t do it without you and I really appreciate it, and, yeah, you keep the show going. Thank you so much. So, let me tuck you in there. Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)

Notable Language:

• Typical Laundry Drama
• Astroemeria
• Dut and Nate Bites

Notable Culture:

• Flamin’ Hot
• The Good Doctor
• Julia Child

Notable Talking Points:

• Images of Cotton Candy
• A Lack of Leek Prep Patience
• I don't have a coffee grinder and I never will