1468 – Fletch Factor Boredown | Trending Tuesday
Waka waka waka, let’s you and me talk-a you off to dreamland as the light of the moon floats onto this boredown in a quarry.
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Episode 1468 – Fletch Factor Boredown | Trending Tuesday
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time…if you're down for boredom or if boredom helps wind you down, you're in the right place. Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep, keep you company, and take your mind off of stuff, to be your friend in the deep, dark night, maybe bring you some sleepy joy and delight. It’s a very different show if you're new. Welcome. If you're coming back, welcome. If you're a regular listener, glad you're here. This show is more of a companion in the deep, dark night that you kinda tune out slowly or…like a boring friend, a dull friend. You'll see how it goes. But if you've had trouble sleeping, you're having trouble sleeping right now, or bedtime, nighttime, is just a place with strong feelings around it, I think you might be in the right place, at least to try the show out a couple times.
It is very different. It does take two or three tries for most regular listeners before they realize, oh, this show is a balance of kindness and nonsense and dull meanders, and it’s here to genuinely try to help me if it can. So, just see how it goes. That’s…and see if it helps you out. But it is different. You probably already know that, right? So, that’s what I like to let you know. What we got coming up is support so that paying for the show is optional. The sponsor spots and the people that support the show make it possible, and then separate from the support is a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, not really to put you to sleep but to help you wind down and get ready to go to bed. Then later on we’ll have a Trending Tuesday-style story about a boredown. So, I’m glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. If this show is a regular part of your life, a positive part of your life, and you would miss it if it was gone, please consider checking out these sponsors or supporting the show directly so that doesn't…you know, that’s never the case. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that you're thinking about…holy thoughts. Holy moly. Thoughts about mole, moly, maybe mounds of…not mowing molehills. Imagine if that was your job. Not…I'm talking about one…don't worry, moles. I’m talking about ones that are no longer used and they've grown over with weeds and grass, and someone’s like, well, that’s my job. You got a mound of molehills? I got a mower.
What’s your name so we could make a tongue twister out of you right in the beginning of a sleep podcast? Meloney. Meloney. No, Meloney. Meloney. Meloney. It’s kinda like Melanie. That’s my twin sister. We work together, so it’s Meloney and Melanie. Merrily mow mounds of molehills. But I was thinking of a word that meant…that are not in use anymore. Yeah, I’m trying to think. I don't have an extensive vocabulary of words. Mothballed molehills; yeah, there you go. I don't know if that works in a tongue twister, but let’s try it. Oh, I thought you invited me on to talk about my mowing of molehills. I thought we were talking about your mowing of mounds of molehills. We were. Right. What was the word I was supposed to look up? Mothballed molehills. So, Melanie and Moleney. Never mind my name. I guess you won't get it right. Melanie Meloney. Melanie and Meloney Melonie, right? That’s your last name? Let’s just say it is for the sake of this tongue twister to get it over with.
Melanie, Meloney, Melonie, Meloney mow mounds of mothballed molehills monthly…merrily mow mounds of mothballed molehills monthly, mom. Sorry, I don't mean to laugh so directly. I don't know why my brain just added that. It just gave it some context. Martha, Marie…I'm meandering about…anyway, sorry. If you're new, it could be any thoughts like…you're thinking about that are there. It could be feelings, it could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, could be feelings about my molehill meanders. It could be…you could work a different schedule, you're going through something, you're in the middle of something, you're getting over something, something’s coming up. Whatever it is, I am glad you are here and I really do hope I can help you out. But I don't help you out alone. There’s a community of people listening right now that are glad you're here, and they're wishing you well across the deep, dark night.
They're winding down, chilling out, and they're pausing for just a second to send you kindness and hope in this indirect connection in the deep, dark night to say, hey, I’ve been there. I know what it was like for me, and I hope you could get some relief through this podcast or something else, 'cause that’s what it was like for me. A lot of listeners…and everybody comes from…comes to this show in a little bit different way or for a slightly different reason or some drastically different reasons, right? We do share something, even if it’s just that sense of wanting to be on the giving and the receiving end of that comforting kindness. You could participate in it at any time, giving it out or receiving it, doing both, or doing nothing is okay, too. But I really want to help you at bedtime so that bed…that you can get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, that you could get the rest you need on a regular basis so you could be out there in the world flourishing and living your life, and that means our world’s a better place to be in with you in it.
We need you in this world. I mean that in a no-pressure way. It’d be…I guess maybe I could rephrase it like this; it’d be nice to have a little bit more of you in this world. I know the opposite side; I think you deserve a bedtime you don't have to dread, a bedtime without rigmarole that you could feel neutral about or maybe even look forward to. That’s what I hope this podcast could be a part of. The way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, then I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, then I go on a meander about a tongue twister about molehills. Who would have thought there would be tongue twisters in this podcast, but there…? I’d say, well, that’s a mild one. You're right; it was a mild…I wish there was…a muddling munciation of words. Not a tongue twister; you're right. It’s a muddling munciation.
It’s a bit melodious, though, I think you could say. So, this show is a bit different. What was I saying? Oh, I send my voice…creaky, dulcet tones means my voice is not traditionally soothing. The thing is, when you first get to the show, maybe you found it through a search, maybe you found it from a recommendation or somebody told you about it. At first when you get here, you're like, this…you gotta be kidding me. That’s a normal way to get to the show. You're skeptical, you're doubtful, you're frustrated. Wait, what is this? Are you really…were you really just going…? I say, oh yeah, my brain…once…my brain is like a mound of mothballed molehills just waiting for the day…that was a famous novel I never wrote, or short…children’s book, my fifteenth imaginary children’s book I never wrote; Mothballed Molehills: The Day the Moles Returned. It was spring when I was trying to do an introduction to my podcast and then I went off topic, and there it was again at the edge of the molehills, undulating across to the horizon.
I could hear the sound in the distance of the Melonies, whose first names I forget. Melanie and Moleney mowing those mothballed molehills, mounds and mounds and mounds. Merrily mowing they were, monthly, sometimes more than monthly, I would say to Martha. So, meanders like that are different. So, I can see why you'd be frustrated. If you had a reasonable expectation of what a sleep podcast would be, this show is a bit different, and it does take a couple tries to wrap your head around the fact that this show is meant to be a goofy friend in the deep, dark night. I’m really standing there on the edge of the mounds of molehills looking out there. They're mothballed, though. Why? Why, we ask, are the mounds of mothball…? Mounds of molehills mothballed? Hm, I say to myself, hm, 'cause I can't think of an M word that fits there, but a lot of smarter listeners are thinking of them right now. So, this just takes some getting used to, so just give it a few tries.
That’s what…actually, I think probably a million people over the thirteen years we’ve been making the show have said. Yeah, at first I didn't like you, I didn't like the show, then the second try I said, huh, wait a second. Then the third try it put me to sleep or I was at rest or I was relieved of some of that nighttime tension. So, just give it a few tries. See how it goes. If the show doesn't work out for you or you're already ready…you say, no, this is not for me, that’s fine, too. Just check out our website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. I think you answer two questions there. It’ll bring you to a place where there’s tons of other sleepy stuff for you to discover, sleep…other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff, 'cause we still need you in the world, or we’d like to have you here a little bit better rested so you could be living a fuller life. So, if it happens through some other podcast, that doesn't…it makes me happy, right?
We introduce a lot of people to podcasts in normal business you’d consider competition 'cause this show just isn't for everybody. But at least give it a try, is all I say, 'cause this…there isn't a lot of show…there isn't anything like this. It’s just different. I mean, there’s combinations…there’s probably sensible shows out there with tongue twisters, and there’s reasonable ways to wind down. This is just a bit of a…mashing up molehills, I said to Martha. Monday…mm, I thought again. Mushroom something…mushroom mash. Mm, it was good. Okay, I gotta move on. So, just give the show a few tries. See how it goes. This is also a podcast that you don't exactly listen to.
It’s kinda like background noise you can listen to, similar to a TV on in the other room or a show streaming under your pillow, sand passing through your hands, a boring friend talking to you on and on and on that you're not quite paying attention to, but it’s still comforting; clouds in the sky, wind in the trees, a seminar or a professor or a presentation or a class you can't stay awake for, or nice water passing through your toes, stuff like that that you can just drift in and out of, and the content starts to take a out-of-focus form. But then you say, okay, I tune into it, too, if I want to. That takes some getting used to, a show that you can listen to but you don't need to, like a party far, far down the street. You say, okay, that’s not bad at all. This is also a sleep podcast we’ve been making since 2013, and it’s not here to put you to sleep, believe it or not. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. That’s the reason the episodes are over an hour.
That’s why we work so hard to put out a selection of episodes all the time on a consistent basis over thirteen years. Over 600+ of those shows are available to you right now so you could see what works for you, but you can also have that relief. Part of it is just the relief; okay, there’s…I don't have to fall asleep in twenty minutes. There’s no pressure or expectation for me to fall asleep because the podcast is here to hang out with me. There’s all these different styles of shows so I can kinda see what works for me, or I don't…I just don't have to like this show at all? Is that a relief for you? Maybe it could be. It’s a relief for me. It wasn't at first, but I realized, hey, this is just a offering, and let’s see what happens with it, right? So, see how it goes.
But yeah, it’s a sleep podcast…because there’s people listening who can't sleep at all, there’s people listening who need a break during the day, there’s people listening waking up in the middle of the night, there’s some people that listen all night long — hopefully they support the show, or people that fall asleep fast support the show — there’s people who need something to listen to at work because they just need something to take their mind off of things. So, I’m here through the whole show to the very end whether you're awake or asleep, whether you're listening or not, 'cause my job is to be your bore-friend, not put you to sleep. It’s to be your bore-sib, your bore-bruh, your bore-cuz, your borer, your borebie, your boreman, your neighbore…what else do we got? Your chairman of the boreds, your Boris Borelaf, your Big Borebowski, your bore-bae, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just keep you company and hang out. That’s what a bore-friend does.
We’ve all had bore-friends in our life before, some inadvertently that are a bit like me, and some intentional. You say, hey, can you just talk to me for a little while? I need something, whether it’s a roommate or they're on the phone or FaceTime, a housemate, a sibling, a partner, a guest. Hey, can you just talk to me for a little bit? Take my mind off of stuff? Yeah, I can do that. That’s what the show is based on, that kinda indirect connection. No pressure. So, see how it goes if you're new. If you're a regular listener, I’m glad this helps. The only other thing I like to run through is the structure of the show. We structure the show in a very specific way to benefit the maximum amount of people we can, because we want the maximum amount of people that the show could help to help. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, hey, I might check that show out.
Then there’s support so that paying for the show is optional. Yeah, podcasting support’s changed over the last thirteen years to where most of the stuff is automated, right? That’s changed even in the last six, seven years of the show, but it’s the way we get to benefit the maximum amount of people it can, and we couldn't do that any other way, right? Now, if you prefer something without ads, you can get that on Sleep With Me+ or for free through our referral program, just letting people know about the podcast. But otherwise it works. Most people prefer this ad-supported version 'cause it has no pressure at all, right, particularly for people that come and go or aren't in a position to support the show. Then after the support is a show within a show. It’s a intro, and it’s meant to ease you into bedtime, not so much to put you to sleep.
The intro goes on for about fifteen to twenty minutes to give you a buffer between being awake and asleep, and it’s when we kinda get to know…I don't know, it’s when you get to know the structure of the show, 'cause I follow a familiar structure in the intro every time, but I go on a new…I don't know. I did not expect…once again, I mean, it’s not a brag; I don't know if mountain…is it mounds of molehill…? I guess it’s mountains of molehills, right? Or, what is it? I don't know. I don't know what…if I’m picturing molehills, I’m picturing mounds. That reminds me of…I think this came up; people…there’s a candy bar called Mounds Candy Bars, right? Apparently people…it’s not a popular one, 'cause…this was like three years ago. I took one out of a candy bag someone had, and they were like, you're gonna…it was almost like it was in there…they go, Drew’s gonna eat the Mounds.
I was with one of my daughter’s friends, her bore…her boy…someone she was seeing and her mom, and she says, mom, Drew’s gonna…hey, he’s gonna eat the Mounds. I say, oh, I actually like these. Huh. They were perplexed, as perplexed as people when they get to this podcast. Okay, so, the intro goes on and on and on more to ease you into bedtime. It’s kinda like a hang out after…like we're all hanging out…a sleepover or hang out after the peak but before everybody drifts off. That’s the time when we're doing tongue twisters or whatever. If you prefer something without the intros, we have a podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, with just the stories. Or on Sleep With Me+, the stories…versions of the episodes come out the same day as the full episodes, and none of those have ads. But a lot less people listen to our free, story-only podcast, but we put it out there because we knew there’s people out there that became regular listeners and said, hey, I prefer something without the intros.
I’m not in a place where I could support the show, or I’m not interested in supporting the show, but I just want the stories. We said, okay, we’ll make it work. So, that’s called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. But most people…this intro is a nice time to ease off into dreamland. Then, what else? Oh yeah, the intro, then there will be support, then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be one of our random Trending Tuesday-style episodes about a boredown. But I’ll meander my way there, and I’ll explain it all. So, I’m really glad you're here, whether this is your first time, your 5000th time listening to an episode, or you only listen once every five months or every couple years when you need this podcast. I really do want to help if I can, and the way I help is just by being here, because that’s all I kinda wished I had back then, not anybody to solve things, but just to offer me some comfort and put a smile on my face, and that’s what I kinda found through comedy radio.
That’s what led me to making the show. But I’m really glad you're here, and we yearn and I strive. Believe it or not, it takes a bunch of people to make this show, and the only way we do it is if the people that benefit the most, that listen more than two or three times a week, have listened longer than a year, help us back. If you're that person, I can't thank you enough for checking out one of these sponsors or supporting the show directly. Thanks.
Alright everybody, this is Scooter, and this is a Trending Tuesday art…article? Episode. Believe it or not, this will have a companion episode that will come out on our anniversary of making the show. So, it’ll come out in the future, which kinda means I sat down to record this episode and then I started thinking…then I started over-explaining how and why we make Trending Tuesday-style episodes, and then I kinda delved into the entire history of the podcast, which I’m trying not to do again. But it led me down this road…now I’m already forgetting…I don't know, it’s not that important. I don't even know what my point was. That’ll come out in the future. Oh, I was gonna count how long we’ve been doing the podcast. We started in October 2013, right? Or 2012. Hm, these are already good questions. I don't know. I think 2013. Let’s see, what year is…? Okay, so yeah, 2013. So, 2014 is a year. 2015 is two years. 2016; three years. 2017; four years. 2018; five years. 2019; six years. 2020; seven years.
2021; eight years. 2022; nine years. 2023; ten years. 2024; eleven. 2025; twelve. So, thirteenth…moving into our fourteenth year, I guess, which is mind-blowing, and hopefully we’ll be…keep making the show long into the future. But yeah, so, this is a Trending Tuesday episode where I’m trying to introduce a new avenue of imaginary Sleep With Me things, something called Fletch Factor. Now, unfortunately I already forgot…I know we’ve had a episode recently where we did a episode about Midler…or I talked about the…Midler. That was in the early days of the podcast that I tried to invent. I think I was thinking about…but that…another episode we did, somehow…maybe…was this a episode or a intro, or did this…is this my fugue stating? I know we had something like an episode…huh. These are the kinda experiences I have. It was something about Midler, right? Or Midler state of mind?
I think we did something Bette Midler and Trending Tuesday influenced in the last…so, I’m recording this in April of 2026 so that it came out in 2026, or maybe it will come out. It hasn't come out yet. Well, we had that one with the pool noodle. I don't know if it was that one. It’s not important, because now I’m remembering when…now that I’m recording, that this is one of these stories that I…instead maybe I should delve into the imaginary secret history of boredowns, 'cause it’s…that was actually one of my boredown names. You may be new to the show, and it’s been years or…you say, Scoots, you put one out two weeks ago. This is kinda what happens when you make this podcast. But let me explain what a boredown is, and then we’ll get into some of the secret history of boredowns. So, a boredown…and people don't like me using the term ‘boring’ so much on the podcast, because it’s an inaccurate term for what we do here, but it’s the most accurate, inaccurate term for what we do.
I guess it’s a case of if you know, you know, right? Sleep With Me’s not boring, but I don't know how else to describe it. Boredowns are kinda like that. The way you would describe a boredown is it’s like a rap B-A-T-T-L-E, like a rap-off, which is similar to a dance-off, and those have been portrayed in fiction and film and documentaries everywhere, and they're full of excitement, right? I mean, well, here’s a thing; there’s probably plenty of rap-offs. Well, wrap-offs with wrapping paper is a different thing. I’m talking about hip-hop, spoken word. Like, one mic versus the other, or one set of words versus the other, one mind…one lyricist against another, and going back and forth. Now, the reality is, in order to get good at that, at some point you had to be not good at it at all. Maybe there’s naturals, and I think there are some people that are naturally good at it, but even if you have a…what would you call that? An aptitude…I mean, an aptitude for raptitude. I mean, but I gotta do it.
But when you do a boredown, you're putting somebody in a state of naptitude. So, now I’m living vicariously. But in order to do that, you do…I mean, I’ve made thousands…I've accidentally rhymed probably thousands of times on the show, and that’s what I mean. When you practice something over and over, you get better and better at it. So…and while some people may have…this is already an existing skill set or they developed intangible skills that support it or skills that are connected to it…most people know what I’m talking about. It’s very impressive. Now, the behind-the-scenes, right…this is a journey of a thousand miles. A journey of a thousand…or a mind of thousands of lyrics and words, and starts at the beginning. In those early days, it probably was about as interesting as a boredown.
But you gotta start some…now, a bore…there’s not a lot of crossover between hip-hop and boredowns, because I guess when you're involved in a boredown, it usually comes with a lot of assumptions; that you're boring, and it’s a whole different…it’s less…it hasn't been glamorized by Hollywood or Bollywood or any woods at all, or any Hollies or woods. So, you know, which is fine, because most people want it that way. So, to set the mood for boredowns, it’s…it could be a group, it could be a night-long event, one boredown…one borer versus another. A lot of times you want to go in with a name. Or, okay, let me back up. I prefer to go…I'm one of those people…I can…I have…my…when I talk about the nighttime and my relationship to the nighttime, part of it is that my brain is kinda always going, and it goes and it goes and it goes. It also is thinking about thinking and all those things.
So, it’s tough for me to get into the zone, especially in a public setting, because it’s just one of those things that once I get in my head, I’m in my head. But by having a name like Fletch Factor, which is…didn’t make sense to anybody, particularly 'cause this wasn't that long ago in real terms or fictional terms. So, Fletch Factor…not…it was in…long after the original movie Fletch, and much before the recent movie Fletch, or Son of Fletch. I don't know…the Jon Hamm Fletch movie. So, most people…and when you say Fletch Factor, you say, okay, that sounds like someone…an aspiring lyricist or a boredowner. Now, the other thing that you gotta understand…now…okay, so, just start to imagine that by…for me…and again, I’m not a actor. The entire podcast exists because of my inability to act and being involved in a project where my acting was one of the reasons we could…it couldn't move forward.
Then I was like, well, I want to still make something, so I’m gonna start making this podcast idea I have. Because once I was…knew there was a camera, then I couldn't be unaware of the camera, and then…but there is…and I don't think this is method…it’s more like…and I don't know if this is how people felt, like a jester. I have a method called the F-O-O-L method, where if I do fool myself, then I…I mean, then I’m able to make a fool of myself in a non-caught-up-in-my-head way, self-conscious way. So, I’m using the positive terminology of that, which is…so, if I create a character, Fletch Factor, it’s not a character; it’s something I become. I’m Fletch Factor. I become somehow more capable even with skills that I already possess. Now, what won't work…and in this example it kinda shows how sometimes we get help from unexpected places, because there’s someone named Chortles, who ended up…another borer.
But so…okay, so, hopefully I’ll remember Chortles’ name, 'cause I always forget it. He always say…like the Chortis, like the tortoise. Yo, Scoots, I don't need to diss. Stuff like that. But anyway, Chortles…this is really a story about Chortles, too, 'cause always these stories are based on rivalries, right? Maybe…I haven't watched…there’s a show about…called…about this…I think on Netflix, like rivalries. It’s called something else. Not the hockey show; that’s different. I’m talking about these ones that could be considered petty, a little bit. Boredowns…but you're funnelling that energy into the boredown, just like if you were doing…rhyming against one another. Okay, maybe I should explain what a boredown is a little bit clearer before we get to it. But it’ll set…no, I think I can set it up. Yeah. So, I have this character, Fletch Factor, right? Okay, so this is gonna be my new boredown character. So, I get in the mirror, in front of the mirror.
I don't actually get into the mirror, but I do actually say that, because sometimes…and I don't know if you have this experience. Sometimes that…my looking in the mirror causes overthinking, and not even from a judging standpoint. Sometimes I’m just…those multiple levels of awareness. But when I’m…so, then I say I’m gonna get into the mirror. So, I start practicing my boredown and kind of inhabiting…getting within Fletch Factor. Fletch Factor isn't that different than brainbots, the things that keep me up at night. Those are uni-function traits or a personality or adaptations that are no longer relevant in my current life, but they're still active and they want to get my attention, like the old spilled-milk bot. Can't spill milk in the cafeteria because it’ll cause you intense feelings, right? Or whatever. So, it’s constantly on watch for milk spilling. You say, okay, I don't…I think I’m…but I say, how come when I’m drinking milk you're not too concerned?
‘Cause I’m spilling it everywhere on the rare…or milk alternatives. But as soon as I go to bed, you're concerned about past experiences with milk spilling. A milk-spilling bot would just say, well, that’s just my job, to take good care of you. I say, okay, can you rest for now? Fletch Factor’s very much like that. Fletch Factor…when I’m Fletch Factor, I’m just like this…not just one facet of my personality, but a few facets. But I’m also able to face those facets outward. I’m Fletch Factor. I’m about to say words, like face those facets outward so the other ones are kinda behind me not facing outwards. They're still there. Okay, so this was…so, okay, so, started to become Fletch Factor, started to work on my boredown routines, which is just kinda like a Trending Tuesday-style episode, getting comfortable.
Then I realized just like a lot of these…you have to self…you have to host a show or an event, unless you’re in a movie or you're a well-known artist, like when you're having a dance-off or a rap-off or something…to get a crowd there, to get people involved, to have the energy of the crowd to work off of, which is kind of an inverse thing with a boredown, but…you need…even I can't…this is very humbling to say, but I’ve never successfully had a lot of people come to a live event. Like, a couple of them, like, where there was gonna be…we got…when people were recording the live events we had more people out for interviews and stuff, but it’s really tough. So…and that kinda gets into my uni-function brainbots. Okay…but then I became Fletch Factor, which is different than Scooter, 'cause Fletch…Scooter does…I just don't do this for the glory, right? But when you're doing a boredown, it is a bit more ego-based. Fletch Factor is for…it is there for the…to be…to boost the ego, Fletch Factor.
It’s not about helping people fall asleep; it’s about boredown, man. But in order to have a audience for a boredown or hype, as they may say, or…you need…you either need somebody like a promoter or somebody that believes in you. Thus far in the planet Earth, I haven't found any promoters that were like, wait…that were able to…like, nothing against promoters, but they're like, wait a second, what? Okay, so…'cause most…the number-one place to do a boredown is a mattress store after hours. Or, we never have been able to do it at an IKEA after hours. Well, actually 'cause they don't have real beds. Or someplace like that, someplace with a lot of comfortable seats. Now, the downside of a mattress store is usually low ceilings and just…they just have non…they don't have a mixture of light. So, I did have a dream as a boredown person…and this just happens to take place in Central New York, this tale.
So, as Fletch Factor, I was like, well…and at first I start all journeys…a journey is to start, and a lot of times on the journey, return to that place of like, frowny face, why me, kinda thing, and why can't I just have a crowd at my boredown? Why doesn't everybody know Fletch Factor’s name? Okay, well, you haven't been in any boredowns yet. Boredowns are extremely niche. You're not plugged into any boredown communities. You don't keep in touch with the bore…so, there are legitimate reasons. Oh yeah, no, but it’s really the universe. Okay, Fletch Factor. So then, that’s when I, as Drew and Scooter kinda have to do a little bit of the old re-parenting or parent…supporting, 'cause I can't fix anything. I’ve learned that a long time…but I could say, okay, well, Fletch Factor, if you were gonna…if…let’s just say you were writing your…let’s just say you were helping an assistant write another biography of an imaginary non-rival named Factor Fletch. Wait, somebody’s named Factor Fletch?
No, I’m just giving you an example. How did they reach the pinnacle…? Well, they just…that’s when it starts. They're at the top. Okay, but how did they get to the top? They overcame things, but it was their natural ability to bore. Okay, but how…? What steps did they…what actual steps did they take? Well, they didn't have to. Everything just flowed from them, like the borer out of their mouth, you know? Okay, but in an imaginary world, nothing like this in my world you're talking about…where, yeah, everything was against them, right? The universe, fate, the taste-makers of the boreworld, everybody. How did they…what would they do in that world? Well, they'd put on the greatest boredown in the history of the world. Okay, okay. So, they're…so…and to do that, they may have started with smaller events. No, I mean, they might have, but no, they probably start…I mean, they should start with the greatest event.
Okay, so, why don't you give me some factors of what would make a great…? Let’s start with location and environment. What would make a great environment, or what are some things…? I think we just discussed low ceilings, fluorescent lighting are out, right? Comfortable is in. Tell me more about where we would do it or what would be some good things. Well, I’m glad you asked me, finally, because I think…yeah, high ceilings, someplace glamorous, good views, maybe outdoors, natural lighting, maybe something that becomes…that’s not cozy at all that becomes cozy that’s shrouded in mystery. Okay, okay. Now you're going. So, tell me more about this idea. Okay, well, I think I have the idea. So, we went back and forth like that. But I think maybe you should keep telling me, even though we're recounting something that already happened. Well, yeah. So, I think there’s this former quarry, right, and I think that’s the spot.
Like, on a full moon at this former quarry, 'cause the quarry looks like something out of the movies. In the quarry…it’s a former quarry, so there’s no quarrying going on. But they have a former structure that kinda looks like the remains of a castle or some sort of entryway into another realm. It’s very, very cinematic. I used…I think that’s where they crushed rocks when it was part of the quarry. It was part of that, but I don't…yeah, I think that’s what it’s called. That would be the stage, and then the area facing it could be a full moon. Maybe we could get permission or…to have camping lighting. You know what I’m saying? Like…that makes it even more comforting and dramatic, and then I and the other borers or the one borer I’m going against, we stand in front of this giant, gray…all…nearly…we take all the ominous out of it, but with the shadows and the night sky and the moon, and the shadows of the camp rings and the light coming from those, it’d be very, very cool. Okay. So, I like that idea.
So, we got a time; full moon. Got a place, and that does sound pretty cool. So, Fletch Factor, you're doing good for…now, what about weather wise? Well, yeah, we’d have to figure out the weather, 'cause it’d have to be not…it would be at a time when it’s not raining and it’s really a nice temperature to be outside at night. Not too hot, but I mean, that’s less of a concern than too…we don't want it to be too cold. Yeah, everybody could camp and bring their own camping beds and stuff like that. It could be one of those…like a midnight bore where we…everybody…we're taking turns telling these boring tales as everybody falls asleep. Okay, okay. I could see that. So, we have the location. So, what would you need to do if you were advising someone and helping them with the next stage of that? Oh, I’d tell them not to bother. Okay. Why? Oh, 'cause it won't happen. Okay. Okay, yeah, I mean, I could see why you're good at these tales. So, what are the biggest issues, you think?
Well, I don't know how…I don't even…wouldn't know where to get started to even get started, because you'd have to either do it without permission or with permission, and I don't know anybody that’s gonna give permission to do that. Okay, so, it does…so, that’s one…and then nobody’s gonna come anyway, so there’s that. Okay, but here’s a thing; I thought you were advising Fletch Factor, who is…yeah, I mean, I am, but people don't recognize Fletch Factor. Okay, so let’s think about…well, I think that’s…there’s a great opportunity there for you and other people to recognize Fletch Factor’s greatness. It’s a pretty good idea, I think solid. We don't know…no one’s turned it down yet. Happens all the time. Okay, but…okay, here’s a thing; what if you…can you give me the perfect turn of events? And we’ll…because you're Fletch Factor, right? As far as I know, the Fletch Factor comes from the ability of Fletch to imagine things going perfectly, that Fletch was a member of the Lakers and a star.
Isn't that part of what you're trying to evoke internally? Oh yeah, yeah. So, I could tell you the tale just like I should take over…just like a boredown now. So, yeah, once upon a time, I had planned and brainstormed the greatest bore…the midnight boredown. Midnight boredown at the quarry. A quarum of borum, I said, a quarry of borry. I made signs and everything, and I found out this particular idea…I said, okay, well, as long as you do this and this, you'll probably be okay. But it was crickets. Then not that long after that, I happened to be at a laundromat washing my clothes, where I put up a poster for it, 'cause I had started putting up handwritten sign, you know, promoting it months ahead of time, 'cause I had picked the perfect date and weather permitting. Okay, but no one had bought a ticket yet even though…yeah. I said, details to be provided. So, no one even knew where it was gonna be.
I happened to be at this laundromat doing laundry when who walks in because they saw me in a window, but…yeah, Chortles. Chortles, like a one-name boredown rival of mine. So popular. Gets invited to things, gets to do stories at mattress stores. Everybody…gets invite…goes on shows and tells stories about boring and…the world’s greatest borer, Chortles…and is able to escape…does other things. He’s got albums out, movies, television, video games, merchandise. All that stuff Chortles has. Of course, Chortles decides not that long after me to move to the same town. There Chortles is, doing things at the movie theater, doing things at the shopping mall, doing things at exotic locations. But he put the ‘bore’ into B’s they said that year. I don't even know what that is. How do you bore people…how do you do a boredown in a club? I wouldn't even know what to wear to a club.
Chortles is looking at the sign and then looking at me…up on the cork board, pulls it down, and looks at me as I’m watching my laundry dry. Chortles says, see this? I say, see what? See this flyer? Looks like your handwriting. How do you know what my handwriting looks like, Chortles? He’s like, come on, is this you or what? Yeah, it’s me, but it’s a undisclosed date. Well, who are you boring down against? I said, well, Chortles, to be honest with you, my heart’s not…I don't know. I was thinking about it, and everybody kept backing out of doing it. I’m so focused on this laundry and doing my laundry on a long-term basis. My heart’s just…I don't know. I feel like it could be cool, like you said, but I just don't know the permitting process, ticket sales, the promotion. Oh man, okay. Those just happen to be things I’m good at, though. Why didn't you ask me for help? ‘Cause we're rivals. Yeah, but I could do this no problem. What’s the date of the next…what date were you thinking?
Oh, well, this date where there’s gonna be…it’s not a full moon, technically, but pretty much a full moon. It’s on a night when people would go. Well, why don't we go up there and check it out? So, then I went up there with Bortles and showed Bortles the local. Bortles even pointed out these shapes that looked like ears, and then was kinda like…one in rocks and one in trees, and how they would reflect the sound. Bortles said, I think this is a great idea. So, what do you say we go into it together? I said, well, I don't know, Bortles. He said, Chortles. I said, yeah, sorry. I was thinking like Jason and saying…but…as if I was gonna say Blake Bortles fast. Yeah, but I’m Chortles from like…'cause I make…it rhymes with…it does rhyme with Bortles. I use that for boring, but it’s 'cause I make people chortle. What’s a chortle? Come on, you know what a chortle is. You use terms like that on your show all the time. You use guffaw or guff or faw. Chortles is a bit like a guffaw. Sounds different, though.
Well, no. I mean, it is. Chortle, like I’m chortling. Like, hardy, har, har, but for real. Guffaw is kinda different. I think a guffaw probably comes from the back of your throat. Let’s see, chortle comes from…they both come from your diaphragm, but a chortle come from your tongue and the top of your palate, and a guffaw…if you do a chortle, your tongue’s touching the top of your mouth. If you do it…a guffaw, I think your tongue’s touching the bottom of your mouth and the air is coming maybe from the top of your palate with a chortle, still from your diaphragm, 'cause that’s where all air comes from, I think. Maybe. Then…yeah. So, they come from different…similar but different; you're right. But that’s why I call myself…this is my…that’s what I strive to do, make people chortle, or to bring a chortle to people’s lives. You bring sleepy joy and delight, or you try to when you're not pretending to be Fletch Factor.
I said, now it’s on to the break of pre-dawn, because you've crossed that line by complimenting me. That’s the code of the boredown now. If you've complimented me and offered to help me, then we must boredown. Okay, it sounds terrific. But when you do the story, you always over-dramatize it, right, so that it doesn't look like I’m being friendly and trying to help you in a genuine way, and that we're only rival…no, you're my rival. Okay, but without pettiness, right? That’s one of the things about boredowns. Well, in real…no, I get it, Chortles. In reality, totally. But when I tell the story, it’ll make…what I’m gonna do…I'll just tell you upfront. What I’ll do is spin the tale in a way where it looks like you make this…you took my brilliant idea and then you added your…all your abilities to do that, which I do lack and I do feel some feelings about it, 'cause it just seems to come naturally to you. So, that’s also another reason…are you Poe-Damering me? Poe-Damering me right now?
That sounds like a Aukerman…that should be another…are you Poe-Damering me? Is that what I just…is that what you just asked me? That’s what I just asked you, if you're Poe-Damering me. But it could be…what if we said, darn? Are you Poe darn…Damering me? Do you think they would make a show about it, Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman? I mean, if it was about…I guess it would have to be about that band, The Darned, if they made a podcast about that. But what would Poe Dameron have to do with that? I don't know. Why were you ask…? Well, it seems like you're treating me the way you treated Poe Dameron. Well, I just was…yeah, I was just instinctually jealous of Poe Dameron, so I had…I don't know…I mean, even though it’s not…so, yeah, on some…do you ever wonder why you have a issue with Poe Dameron but not Han Solo or Han Solo? I think it’s Han, but I like to say Han Solo, too. But Han, right? She says Han. It almost has a H. Yeah, you're right about that.
This is kinda like we're doing…this is what our…what if we did this, a boredown discussion? Like a bore-off like this. This…but the thing is, we're on stage right now doing it. I was telling…you were trying to say our Pooh…is Pooh Poe Dameron you? Roo. Is Pooh Poe Dameron Roo? Okay, so that would be a podcast about Poe Dameron, Winnie the Pooh, and Roo? But that…their podcast is usually about music. Yeah, I don't know. It just popped in my head. But so, yeah. Okay, you wanted me to explain what Poe Dameron…so, whoa, you asked me…I think because I saw Han Solo before I…prepubescent, so I saw him less as a threat to my own…whatever, where, yeah, I said I guess as…just naturally jealous of Poe Dameron, and it did feel like it was some sort of infringement on my own uniqueness or whatever. You know, my domain. Oh, well, I’m glad you admitted that.
But yeah, I’m not trying to be…I'm not trying to Poe…you don't need to Poe Dameron me because even though…so, you're…so, the story goes that I got everybody here tonight because I’m just…I have the skills to promote things, and I’m a little bit better asking and connecting those things and getting the part lined up with the permit so we could actually do this. But you were the one that…this is a beautiful location here we're at. But yeah, the thing is you're…what if you take all the credit? Okay, well, I’m…we're discussing the credit here right now. Okay, well, credit is where…okay, so, this is…but on the poster, didn't it say Chortles Presents…? Yeah, Chortles Presents — that’s because I’m the one presenting it — Fletch Factor’s Midnight Bores…Midnight Boredown at the Quarry. Then quardown at the bore…boredown at the quardown or whatever…yeah. I mean, we had different posters, but yeah, my name is first, but it’s smaller than yours. Yeah, but yours says presents.
Right, but yours says Fletch Factor’s…I'm presenting you. Remember, before we came out on stage I presented you as…this is an idea…it wasn't my idea. Look at this…behind us. I feel like we're at Universal Islands after you walk past…what is that? Not Woody Woodpecker, but that flume ride, but before you get to the falls there’s that building for one of the furry friends. This almost looks like that building. Yeah, that was…I thought the same thing, and I just thought it would be so cool to be out here…almost a full moon, but technically not a full moon according to…but it feels like a full moon…and the beautiful weather, and there’s even maybe…even friends like DJ Echo Bass and Slurp out there making sounds, natural sounds. We got the stars in the sky above us. But I don't know. I guess, yeah, I was fantasizing that I could just do it all myself. Yeah, but you don't have to. We got to work together on this. Yeah, I guess so.
So, yeah, I guess we did work together, but we still gotta bore-off. But that’s the thing about a boredown; kinda everybody wins. Everybody’s sitting there getting comfortable out there in the crowd. Some people are drifting off, some people are listening, some people are mildly distracted as they see us standing here. What else…? Do you…? Let’s go back to that podcast idea you had. Can you tell me more about what that would be? Okay, so it was Pooh…are Roo and Pooh Poe Dameron Vous. That’s still not a band, but it could be Pooh and Roo. Well, I guess those are characters, so that doesn't really work. Poe…and then Poe…the only people that knew what Poe Damering is is anybody that listens to the show. Even then, it’s a very obscure term. Okay, so what about…? What else could you do instead? Okay, well, here’s an idea. So, this is basically a boredown pitch…I mean, I’ve had multiple pitches I’ve forgotten about, but maybe there’s something about Williams, John Williams.
So, could they do…? I say, well, okay, this is just between you and me and the audience, Chortles. Okay, go ahead. So, I…huh, I feel…what, are you gonna give me a hot take in the middle of a boredown? I am gonna give you a warm take in the middle of a boredown of my personal experience. So, I love movies with grand orchestral scores. Okay, so that’s what we're about to talk about, right? I do, and I love listening to classical music, particularly classical radio. I just find it is like a archetype for what we do, in a sense. Okay, so can you tell me more about that? First you want me to tell you more about…? Yeah, before you go to to your warm take. Well, I just think that it’s a format, and there’s a lot of radio formats that at least in the US…and I think I should probably listen to more international classical radio stations. But in the US they have a very specific format where they say, and that was Dvorak and this is the Dvorak hour. We're glad to be here with you.
Coming up on the community calendar, we’ve got that imaginary boredown going on at the quarry. Everybody’s talking about it. Everybody’s gonna be there. That’s happening right now in this moment. So, just get over there as soon as you can. Remember, all the…even though they're rivals, they may be…Fletch Factor’s heart grew by two sizes this week so they could share credit. We’ve also got beautiful skies. If you look up in the sky, you're gonna see a nearly-full moon. So…and then they say, okay, next up we're continuing this hour with Dvorak with me trying to remember how to spell it, and also…but first we’ve got to check in at the Happiness Desk with Chortles. Wow. Well, there’s a lot to be happy…thanks. Okay, thanks for sending things over to me. We're gonna continue this nonstop marathon of Dvorak and get back to Scooter’s take, as I now recognize. Yes, I understand this format.
Okay, so, yeah, you understand the format and I understand the format, but my take is that I don't…out of context…now, so there’s some archetypal songs, right? Like the songs from Star Wars, the original films, and other films are memorable, beautiful, and some are archetypal. So, they’ll be evocative of what happened in the film. But when…I don't know why my ear hears them differently, because when you hear a opera, it was meant for a opera, right? When you hear a symphony, it was meant for a symphony. But I still…those two things sound a little bit different to me than even one of the greatest…you know on classical radio they play the soundtrack of The Mission a lot. Okay. I don't know, it just sounds different to me. So…okay, so, I understand that. Yeah, I don't know if it’s you or the music, maybe your relationship with all three of those forms of music. So, is that why you're saying you wouldn't propose a podcast…? We could just make up names of the podcast, though.
Yeah, I was thinking Wakka Wakka Wakka Williams Woo-ee. Okay, that would be…so, that would be a podcast talking about John Williams’ music and films. Yeah. I don't…I didn't say it was a good title, but that was the first title that came to me. Okay. Yeah, I mean I don't know any other titles that pop off of my head. Who says wakka, wakka, wakka? Fozzie Bear. Okay, what about a…what about if they made a podcast talking about the music of the Muppets? That would be probably more like…you think Adam Scott’s ever been on the Muppet Show? If not, he should be. I mean, I don't know…yeah, that’s a great idea. Yeah, and Scott Aukerman could also…I mean, that would be a great team. But then…so, maybe Fozzie…okay, so what if Fozzie Bear had a podcast, Wakka Wakka Wakka? Okay, but it still doesn't…that’s where it’s…let’s get…let’s do a talka. But then the next part doesn't rhyme. Silly Bill…yeah, you're right about that. What about Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem?
Wreath…yeah, I don't know how to…okay, so, I mean, that’s good 'cause everybody’s starting to…everybody’s getting cozy. We're at the end of this segment of this boredown. Man, teeth…Doctor Teeth…Wakka Wakka Waktor talking about…I'm gonna be the proctor talking about Doctor Teeth…did you just laugh? Did you just chortle? I may have chortled about that just seeing how ridiculous this has become. Yeah, but let’s just keep at it. What if there was…? So, Fozzie Bear hosts a podcast where he talks about…I don't know any of the…may…okay, I’ve got it. Okay, Scooter, can you take it, though? Okay, ma’em…may I am wakka, wakka, wakka, and talk to ya about Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem? I think that’s almost there. Yeah, I think that’s almost there as far as a nonsensical version…I mean, I could see Fozzie Bear hosting that podcast. Who would be the co-host? Wakka, wakka, wakka…let’s you and me talka. Ma’em…ma’em…wakka…where would we put the ma’em?
‘Cause I like that, ma’em. Like, so you're saying may…like, ma’em is may you and I am, right? Yeah, more or less. Ma’am…like, can we? So, it’s a nonsensical word or an invented word, or maybe it’s a real word; ma’em. May you and I discuss this? May you and I…I think it’s just may you and I. Wakka, wakka, wakka…ma’em talka. There you go. That’s…so, that’s wakka, wakka, wakka, ma’em talka, Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Band. So, that’s a pretty long title. So, I mean, Scooter would be one person. I think probably Gonzo, Kermit, any of those…Scooter, any of those…? Sorry, Fletch Factor, any of those landing for you? Huh, that’s a good question. I’d say…I don't know if Fozzie could actually be the host. So, you…I guess…I mean, Scooter does have a specific job, much like Kermit, 'cause you need someone to narrow the focus and keep things on task. I’m trying to think. Kermit would be good at that, but I feel like Kermit’s a little bit too much star power.
Maybe it could be…'cause Scott Aukerman would be good at that. That’s where we learned the entire lesson of the podcast; it’s always somebody’s first time listening, so let them know what to expect. It’s always somebody’s first boredown. That’s why we took so much time at the beginning to explain what a boredown was. Scott Aukerman, Adam Scott, Fozzie the Bear…I feel like we’d need something…I feel like you would need Gonzo. Maybe even Animal’s in the room. Maybe they interview the other…but yeah, maybe…who else would be good there? No offense to any of the other characters, we don't want to get too obscure or too famous. So, Miss Piggy and Kermit would be good as occasional guests. How many albums do you think Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Band have? I don't know, but you did…we did go to that place in San Francisco that was named after them. So, that was a long time ago. Okay.
Well, that’d be a nice podcast to imagine as everybody gets cozy, is just Fozzie Bear saying wakka, wakka, wakka. How did it go? May you…ma’em you and I a-talka. Wakka, wakka, wakka. Off into dreamland. Thanks for joining this episode and this boredown. Goodnight, everybody.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
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Trending Tuesday
Mounds
https://www.chefsresource.com/why-are-almond-joys-so-bad/
https://www.historyoasis.com/post/history-almond-joy-mounds
Fletch movies
https://audioboom.com/posts/8588788-fletch-how-this-movie-set-the-stage-for-cop-movies-even-now
https://movieweb.com/fletch-1985-funny-movie/
https://www.avclub.com/confess-fletch-trailer-jon-hamm-john-slattery-chevy-cha-1849459585
Rap battles
https://www.rap-reviews.com/post/unpacking-rap-battles-their-rich-history-and-cultural-impact
https://www.complex.com/music/a/complex/biggest-hip-hop-rap-feuds
Classical radio
https://www.wqxr.org/about/wqxr/
https://today.usc.edu/how-kusc-made-classical-music-cool-again/
https://stringsmagazine.com/david-schulman-a-personal-history-of-classical-radio/
DOWN TO BUSINESS
If you’re down for boredom
A dull friend you tune out
PLUGS
Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth
INTRO
Holy Thoughts
Holy Moly, thoughts about molé
Mowing Molehills
Mel Oni and Melani merrily mowing mounds of molehills
I don’t have an extensive vocabulary of words
Mothball Molehills
Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at my own tongue twisters
Molehill Meanders
It’d be nice to have a little bit more of you in this world
My brain is a mound of mothball molehills
Mothball Molehills: The Day the Moles Returned, a children’s book
Mmm
sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
Clouds in the sky, wind in the trees
Taking an out-of-focus form
That’s not bad at all
Ur Borebae
We’ve all had borefriends in our lives, inadvertent or not
The structure of the show
Is the phrase “mountains of molehills”?
Apparently people don’t like Mounds candy bars
The wind down is when we do tongue twisters
STORY
A trending tuesday article, er, episode
I’m doing an upcoming making-of episode about this one
I don’t even know what my point was
We started in October 2013. Wait, 2012?
Yeah, 2013
Moving into our 14th year (mind-blowing)
Fletch Factor
A new avenue for sleep with Me
In the early days, I talked about the app MIDLR
Am I fugue stating?
The imaginary secret histories of boredowns
Explaining the Boredown
People don’t like it when I use the term “boring”
It’s kind like a rap b-a-t-t-l-e
One mind against another
Most people have to get good
An aptitude of raptitude (I had to do it)
A state of naptitude
The intangible skills that support it
In the early days of the episode, it was probably as interesting as a boredom
There’s not a lot of crossover with boredowns and hip hop
No Hollys or Woods have glamorized boredowns yet
Borer vs. Borer
My brain is always going
I had the episode name Fletch Factor stuck in my head
Long after the Fletch films
The entire podcast exists because of my inability to act
The F-O-O-L Method
If I create a character, I can get around my own mind
I’m Fletch Factor
Chortles the Borer
These stories are always based on rivalries
There’s a show about this
Not the hockey show
Looking in the mirror as Fletch Factor
Fletch Factor is kind of like a brainbot
The Old Spilt Milk Bot
Fletch Factor is a few facets of my personality
Face those facets outwards
Working off the energy of the crowd
I’ve never successfully held a live event
But Fletch Factor can handle it
A boredom is more ego-based
You need an audience to hype the boredown
You need a promoter who believes in you
#1 Boredown Place: Mattress store after hours
Downside of mattress store: low ceilings
This tale takes place in central NY, btw
Why can’t I just have a crowd at my boredown?
Parenting my inner Fletch Factor
The natural borer
Maybe you start with a smaller event
Factors of a great boredown
Location and Environment
Low ceilings and fluorescent lights are out
Comfortable are in
High ceilings, glamor, good views, natural lights, outdoors, cozy, shrouded in mystery
There’s a former quarry
A quarry in the light of the full moon
It’s very cinematic
I think they used to crush rocks on this stage
We could get permission to put up some camping lights
Take all the ominous out of it
The weather is nice
BYO Camping Bed
A Midnight Bore
Encouraging my cynical inner self
Opportunities to recognize Fletch Factor’s greatness
The perfect turn of events
The ability to imaging things going perfectly
Fletch Factor tells the perfect story
Midnight Boredown at the Quarry
A Quorum of Borum
I put up a poster for it at the laundromat
Not a lot of details on the poster
Chortles, my boredown rival, walks into the laundromat
Chortles gets invited to everything
World’s Greatest Borer
Chortles sees my flyer
Chortles offers his help
I’ll also call him Bortles
We visit the locale together
Bortles offers to go in with me
Please call him Chortles, not Bortles
Chortles vs guffaws
Chortles strives to bring a chortle to people’s lives
Now the boredown is on
If you compliment me and offer to help me, then we must bore down
We’re rivals without pettiness
But when I tell the story, it’ll make me look good
Are you Po Dameron-ing me right now?
Darn, r u po dameroning me?
How do you say Han Solo?
What if we did a boredom discussion instead?
A podcast about Po Dameron, Roo, and Winnie the Pooh
My issues with Po Dameron
An infringement on my own uniqueness
The crowd is mildly distracted watching us
Tell me again about your podcast idea
R Roo and Pooh Po Dameron-ing Vous?
A new boredown pitch
Something about John Williams
Mid-boredown warm take
I love movies with grand orchestral scores
Classical radio is an archetype for the podcast
Classical radio narration
Fletch Factor’s heart grew 2 sizes this week to welcome in Chortles
They play the soundtrack to The Mission a lot on classical radio
Waka Waka Waka Williams Woo Wee
I guess that’s the title of a John Williams podcast
What about a podcast about the music of The Muppets?
What if Fozzie Bear had a podcast?
Names for Muppets Podcasts
Waka Waka Waka, Let’s You And Me Talk-a
May You and I (May’m)
That’s a pretty long title
I guess Gonzo and Kermit would be there too
We’ll waka waka talka you off to dreamland
Thanks for joining this boredown
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1468
Title: Fletch Factor Boredown | Trending Tuesday
Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth
Notable Language:
- Holy Molé
- Mowing Molehills
- Mel Oni and Melani merrily mowing mounds of molehills
- Mothball Molehills
- Molehill Meanders
- Out-of-Focus Form
- Fletch Factor
- B-A-T-T-L-E
- A state of naptitude
- The F-O-O-L Method
- BYO Camping Bed
- Midnight Bore
- Midnight Boredown at the Quarry
- A Quorum of Borum
- World’s Greatest Borer
- Are you Po Dameron-ing me right now?
- An infringement on my own uniqueness
- Waka Waka Waka, Let’s You And Me Talk-a
Notable Culture:
-
- Mothball Molehills: The Day the Moles Returned, a children’s book
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- Mounds candy bars
- MIDLR app
- Bette Midler
- Hollywood
- Fletch movie
-
- Jon Hamm
- Heated Rivalry
- Feud TV Series
-
- IKEA
- Blake Bortles
- The Good Place
-
- Po Dameron / Star Wars
- U Talkin’ U2 2 Me?
-
- Adam Scott
- Scott Aukerman
- Winnie the Pooh
- R Roo and Pooh Po Dameron-ing Vous?
- John Williams
- Antonín Dvořák
- The Mission film
- Waka Waka Waka Williams Woo Wee
- The Muppets
Notable Talking Points:
- Holy Thoughts
- Holy Moly, thoughts about molé
- Mowing Molehills
- Mel Oni and Melani merrily mowing mounds of molehills
- I don’t have an extensive vocabulary of words
- Mothball Molehills
- Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at my own tongue twisters
- Molehill Meanders
- It’d be nice to have a little bit more of you in this world
- My brain is a mound of mothball molehills
- Mothball Molehills: The Day the Moles Returned, a children’s book
- Mmm
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- Clouds in the sky, wind in the trees
- Taking an out-of-focus form
- That’s not bad at all
- Ur Borebae
- We’ve all had borefriends in our lives, inadvertent or not
- The structure of the show
- Is the phrase “mountains of molehills”?
- Apparently people don’t like Mounds candy bars
- The wind down is when we do tongue twisters
- A trending tuesday article, er, episode
- I’m doing an upcoming making-of episode about this one
- I don’t even know what my point was
- We started in October 2013. Wait, 2012?
- Yeah, 2013
- Moving into our 14th year (mind-blowing)
- Fletch Factor
- A new avenue for sleep with Me
- In the early days, I talked about the app MIDLR
- Am I fugue stating?
- The imaginary secret histories of boredowns
- Explaining the Boredown
- People don’t like it when I use the term “boring”
- It’s kind like a rap b-a-t-t-l-e
- One mind against another
- Most people have to get good
- An aptitude of raptitude (I had to do it)
- A state of naptitude
- The intangible skills that support it
- In the early days of the episode, it was probably as interesting as a boredom
- There’s not a lot of crossover with boredowns and hip hop
- No Hollys or Woods have glamorized boredowns yet
- Borer vs. Borer
- My brain is always going
- I had the episode name Fletch Factor stuck in my head
- Long after the Fletch films
- The entire podcast exists because of my inability to act
- The F-O-O-L Method
- If I create a character, I can get around my own mind
- I’m Fletch Factor
- Chortles the Borer
- These stories are always based on rivalries
- There’s a show about this
- Not the hockey show
- Looking in the mirror as Fletch Factor
- Fletch Factor is kind of like a brainbot
- The Old Spilt Milk Bot
- Fletch Factor is a few facets of my personality
- Face those facets outwards
- Working off the energy of the crowd
- I’ve never successfully held a live event
- But Fletch Factor can handle it
- A boredom is more ego-based
- You need an audience to hype the boredown
- You need a promoter who believes in you
- #1 Boredown Place: Mattress store after hours
- Downside of mattress store: low ceilings
- This tale takes place in central NY, btw
- Why can’t I just have a crowd at my boredown?
- Parenting my inner Fletch Factor
- The natural borer
- Maybe you start with a smaller event
- Factors of a great boredown
- Location and Environment
- Low ceilings and fluorescent lights are out
- Comfortable are in
- High ceilings, glamor, good views, natural lights, outdoors, cozy, shrouded in mystery
- There’s a former quarry
- A quarry in the light of the full moon
- It’s very cinematic
- I think they used to crush rocks on this stage
- We could get permission to put up some camping lights
- Take all the ominous out of it
- The weather is nice
- BYO Camping Bed
- A Midnight Bore
- Encouraging my cynical inner self
- Opportunities to recognize Fletch Factor’s greatness
- The perfect turn of events
- The ability to imaging things going perfectly
- Fletch Factor tells the perfect story
- Midnight Boredown at the Quarry
- A Quorum of Borum
- I put up a poster for it at the laundromat
- Not a lot of details on the poster
- Chortles, my boredown rival, walks into the laundromat
- Chortles gets invited to everything
- World’s Greatest Borer
- Chortles sees my flyer
- Chortles offers his help
- I’ll also call him Bortles
- We visit the locale together
- Bortles offers to go in with me
- Please call him Chortles, not Bortles
- Chortles vs guffaws
- Chortles strives to bring a chortle to people’s lives
- Now the boredown is on
- If you compliment me and offer to help me, then we must bore down
- We’re rivals without pettiness
- But when I tell the story, it’ll make me look good
- Are you Po Dameron-ing me right now?
- Darn, r u po dameroning me?
- How do you say Han Solo?
- What if we did a boredom discussion instead?
- A podcast about Po Dameron, Roo, and Winnie the Pooh
- My issues with Po Dameron
- An infringement on my own uniqueness
- The crowd is mildly distracted watching us
- Tell me again about your podcast idea
- R Roo and Pooh Po Dameron-ing Vous?
- A new boredown pitch
- Something about John Williams
- Mid-boredown warm take
- I love movies with grand orchestral scores
- Classical radio is an archetype for the podcast
- Classical radio narration
- Fletch Factor’s heart grew 2 sizes this week to welcome in Chortles
- They play the soundtrack to The Mission a lot on classical radio
- Waka Waka Waka Williams Woo Wee
- I guess that’s the title of a John Williams podcast
- What about a podcast about the music of The Muppets?
- What if Fozzie Bear had a podcast?
- Names for Muppets Podcasts
- Waka Waka Waka, Let’s You And Me Talk-a
- May You and I (May’m)
- That’s a pretty long title
- I guess Gonzo and Kermit would be there too
- We’ll waka waka talka you off to dreamland
- Thanks for joining this boredown
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