1465 – Cake Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep S12/C9 E1

Episode 1465 – Cake Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep S12/C9 E1

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hello bakers. Bake-Off is back here on Sleep With Me podcast, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep in the most indirect way possible. Tonight, eventually we’ll do that through a bake-off. I don't know what…reconstruction watch-through. But welcome to Sleep With Me if you're new. This is…this podcast is a bit different, but it’s here to help you out in the deep, dark night if you have trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, or you just dread bedtime, whether it’s just been for the past week or two or it’s been three, four, five, six years. I’m here to try to help you out. This show is a bit different, so it does take a couple tries to get used to it. So, if you're new, I’ll explain everything in the next ten, fifteen, twenty minutes, but I really hope we can help you. Not only am I here to help you kinda take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake, but also maybe make a little bit positive impact on your bedtime and maybe even to reach not for the stars or the moon, but to bring you some sleepy joy and delight in the deep, dark night.

 

So, whether you're new or coming back, what we got coming up is support so that paying for the show is optional — most listeners appreciate that — then a long, meandering intro totally separate from the support to ease you into bedtime, and then we’ll take a look at a new series, season, collection of Bake-Off or the Great British Baking Show, however it’s referred to or however…yeah. So, yeah, and that’s about it. We’ll be here about…a little bit over an hour, and if you're new, just see how it goes. If you're coming back 'cause you're having a tough time, I really hope I can bring you some relief. If you're someone that listens night after night, year after year, you would miss the show if it was gone because it’s a regular part of you're bedtime, the way we're able to be here for you is by the people that…if you could, check out one of these sponsors or consider supporting the show directly. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that is thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts you're thinking about or thoughts that are thinking you, thinking thoughts…think, thank, thunk. Thunk would be the best, 'cause you say, that’s…I don't know if that’s post participle past or past, post…is that a thing? But it’s…that means it already happened, right? My thoughts have been thunk. I would prefer that at…I wonder if I could use that as a statement at bedtime. Would that be effective, thoughts? My thoughts said, probably not.

 

Like a deck…I guess declarations aren't good for bedtime, either, except maybe the Declaration of Independence, 'cause I’m assuming it’d be boring. But I’m just saying it in jest, I mean to all the fans of read…I mean, I should have never brought it up. I did not want to be…particularly…I try to avoid all smoting, especially by previously…historical figures. By the way, what a historical figure you strike. I can pander to you, as well. I was just saying declarations aren't good at bedtime, but anything with a lot…never mind. I’ve wandered down one. But let’s just keep all…even declarations about declarations. Can we agree? I think we can…that I retract all my declarations about declarations, and I say that particular at bedtime, I do…well, except for…except for silly…okay, it’s not a declaration as…if you say, I do doth declare, if you're saying it in a silly voice, that I was mistaken about my declarations earlier…but you could say that to yourself, to other people, to pets, to plants, to win…to the moon, the…I do doth declare that my thoughts have been thunk.

 

I’m just…I don't think that would fit on a pillow, but…I do doth declare that my thoughts have been thunk tonight and I’m ready for bed. What was I even talking about? Oh, this is a podcast. Thoughts could be on your mind. I mean, now, holy cow, this…these are the thoughts that run through my head at bedtime and where they go. I mean, really…and I’m toning it down 'cause some part of my brain is like, can…do you realize how upset the Declaration and the founding parents of the…are gonna be…? What would Martha Washington say about this? I’d say, yeah, you're right; she’s probably not pleased with me. Luckily I don't…I think she’s probably got better things to do, or at least more entertaining things to do than…I'm probably not that important to anyone in other realms. So, that’s good news, probably. That’s what I’m saying to my thoughts.

 

So, it could be thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, whether it’s related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, in the middle of something, getting over something, maybe you work a different schedule or your schedule changed or you have guests or you're travelling. Whatever it is, when I say I’m glad you're here, I mean it, and the only reason I run through some of that stuff is so that you know you're in good company. You're in company with other people where sleep is not one of those things…they say, ease into sleep. I don't know if they do say that, but maybe they do. I don't think the people that do…they don't even have to say that, you know? Oh boy, my…as soon as my head hits the pillow…okay, great for…that’s great. That’s terrific. I’m so happy for you.

 

So, whatever brought you here, I know what my experience with sleep has been, on and off since I was a kid, and it’s been a non-positive…sometimes, pretty non…strongly non-positive is a mild way of saying it. I know what that feels like underneath for me particularly before, during, and after, and I don't know if it feels anything like that for you. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but maybe we can connect on that level of…that something brought you here and you're looking for something, maybe some relief, maybe some comfort, or maybe a solution. That’s what brought most people here, and that’s what connects us. I call it the deep, dark night for a reason. But that part’s not positive. But, I mean, by the way, the night can be beautiful. I’m not saying that. But I’m saying that something happens, you know? Or it feels a certain way. That connects us in a positive way, though, too.

 

There are people listening around the world right now, and some of those people, they came here for a similar reason to whatever brought you here, and they really get it. Whatever it is you're feeling right now in this moment, they've felt it, too, or they may be feeling it right now, or they may be thinking it, or they may be having similar physical sensations or things going on in their life, but they've been here before. So now, not only do they get whatever relief the podcast brings them, or a distraction or comfort, but they get to send you some goodness, some comfort. Indirectly, yeah, but in the deep, dark night right now in this moment, they're rooting for you. They're thinking of you fondly and they're hopeful for you. They're almost sending you their hope about bedtime, 'cause they say, I never thought I would find a podcast where…I mean, where whatever happened in the last ten minutes happened and that I would listen to it and enjoy it and it would change my relationship with sleep, but I hope it does that for you like it did for me.

 

I didn't realize I needed a bore-friend or just someone to take my mind off of stuff, and I hope the show works for you. That’s what those listeners are sending to you right now. When you're here, you can send and you could receive, or you could sit on the sidelines and say, I prefer not to partake at all. That’s fine, too. But it all happens…it’s indirect magic that happens around the show, 'cause we are connected by something, and there is a way to make something special out of it, mostly by me meandering, but by knowing, yeah, there’s other people out there rooting for you. That is a nice thing, and…or rooting for each other. If you're just…you don't want to partake, you say, wow, there’s people across the world rooting for one another right now in this moment that I’m listening to the show. That’s nice.

 

That’s what’s important about the show, but you're the important…most important piece because I’m here to try to help you out so that you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, that you don't have to dread bedtime, that bedtime doesn't have to be such a rigmarole, and that maybe if you listen to the show on a regular basis you could start to at least see bedtime in a neutral way or maybe even a somewhat-positive way; well, at least I got my routine now and that boring dude’s a part of it. Maybe, just maybe, it’s not just about bringing you sleepy joy and delight in the deep, dark night, but if you're getting the rest you need on a regular basis, you could be out there in the world flourishing, like slowly flourishing out there in the world in your life, and that makes our entire world that all these people are sending kindness across right now a better place to be in, and it makes your world a better place to be in, and that’s what’s important to me and all the other listeners, though it’s okay for your life to be…obviously you say, well, yeah, those other listeners are great, but you're…yeah, don't worry, I’m talking right to you.

 

Now, the way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, that means I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I go on accidental…I mean, all the…a lot of the tangents are accidental and superfluous, but I never thought…I mean, I…well, I’m not surprised I could be on the wrong side of Martha Washington or George or any of the…you know. You say, first of all, they had…I say…I mean, I guess I wouldn't be surprised. Historians everywhere, you don't know if I’m doing it in…only a regular listener knows Scoots ain’t kidding, either. He doesn't know…I say, yeah, I’m not…I mean, I could…but let’s just say I wasn't flourishing at the time this was taught. So, my life was not manageable due to sleep. So, that’s why I missed all these lessons. Say, Martha Washington? I do doth declare. But don't you picture her in a nice…one of those nice caps?

 

I mean, at least I do, with a kind…she’s saying, okay…she’d be a pretty good bedtime…not a narrator but a bedtime presence. If she has a rocking chair…say, a rocking chair; Martha…but I don't know, does Martha Stewart…? Or, that’s Martha Stewart, not Martha Washing…I'm just digging it deeper, huh? So, we’ll move on. Okay, one of the most important things to move on to is not just Martha Stewart or Martha Washington or any of the great Marthas of the world. These are a few of the great Marthas of the world. Plimpton would be another one I put in there. Actually, I don't want to start listing 'cause there’s too many good Marthas out there. Also Martas. I worked with a great Marta. Don't get me started on my favorite Martas, 'cause we’ll be here all night. Any of the Mar-based names…so…and then we say…then I might go on…then I’ll start talking about the sea, you know? So, okay, where was I?

 

Oh, the first thing you need to know is when most people get to the show — would you believe it? — they don't like this podcast, and that’s normal. So, if you get here and you're skeptical, you're doubtful, you're kind of like, what is going on here? What is this…is this guy serious? He’s just going on about almost nothing. That’s a normal way to get here, because maybe you searched for sleep podcasts or someone recommended the show to you or you discovered it somewhere, and then you had a reasonable expectation of what a sleep podcast would be, and this is probably nothing like your reasonable expectation, and that kinda is a bit dissonant, right? You say, what is this? I thought this would be peaceful and soothing and tranquil. I say, just like my image of Martha Washington. But yeah, the show is different. It does take a couple tries for most people to get used to.

 

For a lot of people, they listen once and then they come back later and then they listen again, and then on the third try they're like, huh, now…oh, on the third try I just kinda fell asleep at some point, but the first two tries I was trying to figure this thing out, but I guess he’s never figured it out, either. So, okay, now I get that he doesn't…that none of us get it. I never knew to look for something like this or that it could exist. But that takes some time. The good news is you don't…you could try the show out or you could know right now in this moment you don't like me at all, it’ll never be a fit. Or maybe this is your third or fourth try and you're like, this is the last time I’m listening. That’s okay, too. I still believe you deserve everything I just listed. Even if you have a strong distaste for me, I believe that.

 

I have a website set up for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and that has all of the…all other sleep…a bunch of other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there, that…maybe one of those things will help you out. Sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. So, if it doesn't work out or you already know right now, check that website out. The next thing that can throw people off is that this is a podcast that you don't listen to, but you can listen or you kinda listen to it. It’s not just background noise, but it could be background noise. It could be like a show streaming under your pillow, a TV on in the other room, a out-of-focus picture, a long lecture, clouds in the sky, wind in the trees, or a friend who just keeps going on and on and on. But maybe they're your roommate or maybe they're on the phone and you're drifting off and it’s okay with them, or sand passing through your hands or nice water passing through your toes.

 

It’s something that’s there and not quite there at the same time, and that takes some getting used to, a podcast you don't exactly…you're not…you don't not listen to it…yeah, maybe. I don't know. So, that’s one thing. The other thing is that this is a sleep podcast I’ve been making since 2013, or 2013, and I’m not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure or expectation to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour so you don't have to worry about falling asleep. But there’s people listening who can't sleep at all, for whatever it is that’s…that they're dealing with, and they just need someone to be there for them, and there’s people who need someone to be there for them during a break in the day or when they wake up, or when they…they just have a job where they need…they find something like this soothing. I’m here for them and for you whether you're awake or asleep. There’s over 600 shows ready to go so you don't have to think about falling asleep.

 

I’m gonna be here to hang with you, to chill and just kinda talk and talk and talk. So, just see how it goes, but that takes some getting used to, 'cause my job’s not to put you to sleep. It’s to take your mind off of stuff and to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neighbore, your borebie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your best bore-friend f’eva. A bore-friend just hangs out and takes…you say, okay, just talk to me about…oh, you watch the Bake-Off? This week I watched it on…first on mute and took notes, 'cause I noticed a couple other things we did. I really liked the details that came out when it was on mute. Then I watch it again with the audio. So, we’ll try to do some sort of run-through like that. Oh wow, so you watched a baking show on mute. Yeah, with the sound off, audio off. With sub…? No, nothing. I just watched it. Okay, huh.

 

That sounds…sounds like something…I don't know. Perfect for bedtime; you're right. So, yeah, that’s what a bore-friend does. The last thing I want to run through is the structure of the show. It really throws new people off or people that listen to other podcasts, and why wouldn't it? The show is structured in a very specific way to benefit the maximum amount of people it can. So, I’ll explain it to you. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something silly so you feel seen and welcomed in and you get the kinda general tone of the show. You say, oh, okay, I could check that show out. I’ll give it a try. Then there’s sponsors or support so that paying for the show is optional, and there’s not…I realize some people wish that wasn't the case, but there…that’s how we put the show out, right?

 

And it’s free for anybody that wants to listen to it, and it actually benefits probably twenty times more people by being out there versus just being a subscription or a audiobook or something. That’s important to me; twenty times more people are getting relief in the deep, dark night because of that. Then after the support, separate from the support, a show within a show, is the intro, and the intro introduces what the podcast is for a thousand-plus times, but I try to make…follow a familiar structure every time so there’s something reassuring, but it’s different every time, particularly this one. Normally I would have known to steer clear of any specific declarations, but I don't know, and then…or historical figures. But I say, oh, and that rocking chair with that hat…do you strike a historical figure, Martha. Wow. Very soothing, by the way. So, yeah. So, what was I saying?

 

Oh, I go on…the intro goes in a different direction every time, but I keep going back to what we regularly talk about so people get a sense of what the show is like. But the reason…other than my total inefficiency at talking and getting to the point, which is pretty strong, the intro also…we kinda settled on this fifteen to twenty-five-minute-long intro because it’s not designed to put you to sleep. It’s designed to set the tone, to set the mood, and to ease you into bedtime. While there is a small percentage of people that fall asleep fast, and we always encourage them to support the show directly, not…because it’s designed for people that fall asleep fast, but also, there’s no way to keep this show going for people that fall asleep fast. But we are happy for them. But most people are winding down, getting ready for bed, maybe brushing their teeth, chilling out somewhere, doodling, knitting, petting their pets.

 

Maybe they are…maybe you could picture someone in a rocking chair, and they're rocking, listening to the show, looking out the window, winding down. The intro is meant to ease you into bedtime versus putting you to sleep, to set the mood, to lower the volume on the day. So, you could kinda test out what works for you, but that’s why the intro goes on and on and on. If you decide you like just the stories from the show, there’s a podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. It just has the very beginning of the show and the stories, not the intros. But for most people, this is like the time we all hang out together, like a sleepover, like after it peaks but before everybody goes to sleep. We're chatting and giggling. You say, barely giggling. Historians tonight are not giggling, probably, understand…or anyone with any knowledge…my brain just said this; anyone with any knowledge of history whatsoever. I say, okay, thanks. Now they're giggling at that. Or, we call it bore-giggles.

 

It’s like a quarter…it’s not…I guess gig’s already taken in more than…you say, you got a gig or a gigabyte. Iggles…iggles? I don't know. Iggles? That doesn't sound very…anyway, it’s like a part of a giggle. Yeah, where humor…this show is humor-esque. Whatever is one step away from comedy-adjacent. You say, well, I don't know if you could say you're comedy-adjacent. It’s like one…it’s like whatever is less than alt-comedy. So anyway, that’s what I’m here to do, barely put a smile on your face, and that’s what I’m striving…sleepy joy and delight. What do we call it? Jelight. So, just kinda see how it goes. Then after the intro will be support, then tonight we’ll be talking about Bake-Off. All told, we’ll be here a bit over an hour, and I’m really glad you're here whether you just found your way to the show, whether you come back when you need it, or you're here night after night after night. We work really hard, myself and a team of people, on this show, because we believe in it and we believe in helping you out if we can. So, thank you for listening. If you believe in the show and it’s helped you out, we could also use your help back if you listen on a regular basis. So, if you could consider supporting one of these sponsors, supporting the show directly, or letting somebody know about the podcast, it’d be huge. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here. We're covering Cake Week of Great British Baking You Off Into Sleep, Episode 1 of Collection 9. I’m trying to always improve what I’m doing and making things more Sleep With Me, I guess. So, I kinda discovered watching things on mute and taking notes. We’ve done it in the past, and I’m like, huh, maybe this makes for more effective pondering. So, I’m gonna go through my notes when I watch the episode on mute, and then I’ll go through my notes, or I’ll kinda look at the time and then decide, should we go through it un-muted, my notes, or what interesting things came up? Then we’ll go from there. But now I’m looking at my handwriting…and it’s just a part of it. Okay, oh boy…hm, interesting. So, Cake Week…and we get that comedy open, which I…so, actually, you could kinda figure it out because first you notice…what are those things called…those haircuts are called? But it’s…you notice something that’s…mullets.

 

Oh, I also put ‘best open ever?’ question mark, ‘mullets’. Then birds and ducks and things. But it’s quickly…oh wait, are they singing Achy, Breaky Heart? So, it’s a band made up of Matt, Noel, Prue, and Paul, all lip-syncing and I think…yeah, I think they're lip-syncing. They're all playing instruments. Now, I don't know 'cause I don't have it in front of me…I didn't…all four of them!! double exclamation point, all in. So, they are really all in, acting, doing squatchwells? Skip that tart, talking heads. So, I don't know what that says, but they…so, they're all singing Achy, Breaky Heart. I’m guessing Noel was on keyboards, Paul and Prue were on guitar and bass, and Matt’s on drums, but that could just be how…it was just…I mean, even on mute it was hilarious. Okay, so then we go through the preview of the episode, something about a tart, I think. Nice sweater contrast. So, one of the contestants has a sweater…a shirt and a sweater or something that matches what Noel is wearing.

 

Welcome…temp, welcome tart, welcome to the tent. Yeah…something…oh, somebody switches glasses with Prue. Some of the names I’m definitely gonna have incorrect or correct. Crystelle, Jurgen, family, beach, and bunny…is Matt rapping or singing to him? Then Tom; does Tom work at a toy shop, or is it Tim? Then Amanda lake or river swimming. Rochica…I think some of these I filled in after. Family at the park…this one…I don't even…Prue-esque; Maggie. Tennis…Prue-esque…Freya, seaside cakes with mum…Swiss rolls; okay, so they're making Swiss rolls, which maybe we could come back to, but…so, Swiss rolls are interesting for someone…because they're associated in the US as something…okay, so just in case you're under, I don't know, under forty, under thirty-five…I don't exactly know when this became a thing, but it seems like it was a thing at these schools in England, school lunch desserts. So, not to spoil it for kids, 'cause this wasn't such a great idea.

 

I’m just telling you, kids. Also, I’m not joking that you're not missing out on much. I haven't had a Star Crunch in quite a while, so I can't tell you if those are as good…but…just 'cause I don't think if I bought a pack of them they'd get finished. But Swiss rolls here in the US, in my experience, are…okay, I can only speak for myself. I associate them with something that would be in other kids’ lunches, occasionally mine, and also that there was probably two or three different brands of Swiss rolls. I’m assuming Little Debbie and Hostess, but maybe there was other ones, and…'cause I think someone used to get ones that had Peanut characters on them for a time. But they…out of…now, in theory…I'm just telling you in theory, the Swiss roll is presented in the US…because I love…I think I’ve talked about this before; not only am I a ding-dong, but I love those Ding Dongs. A Swiss roll is very similar.

 

It’s chocolate cake rolled with a cream filling rolled in the Swiss-roll style and then covered in a chocolate-like thing, or maybe chocolate. Now, let me tell you, other ones…well, we didn't have…we didn't get Hostess stuff 'cause there was six kids in my family. There was a Hostess outlet that I’ve…now that I’ve moved to where I grew up. It doesn't…it’s not there anymore. In Florida there’s a Tastykake outlet that I keep meaning to go to somewhere within twenty minutes of where my dad lives. Pretty sure it’s a Tastykake outlet. It could be an Entenmann’s outlet. There’s an Entenmann’s outlet somewhere…somewhat near where my sister lives in New Jersey, though usually in a car full of people, and rarely…I think I have been in there, though, 'cause I said, why don't we stop…? I mean, talk about manipulation. Is this honest manipulation? I said, why don't we stop at the Hostess outlet and get a Danish or something for breakfast tomorrow since we're gonna be guests at her house?

 

Also, another pitch I’ll make if we didn't stop at the Hostess outlet or it just seemed like no one was gonna say yes, so I didn't bring it up…there’s a Carvel. In California…I think there’s Carvels maybe in the suburbs, but it’s a big deal. So, then I would get…sometimes they'd be like, well, it’s somewhat in the range of one of my niece or nephews’ birthdays. Why don't we stop at Carvel, then we could get them to decorate a Fudgie the Whale or a whale-based ice…they make ice cream cakes. Carvel is a ice cream place. Then I say, maybe we just have a soft-serve ice cream now. Alls that to say is that we usually had Little Debbie…I don't know if they were store brands or there was just Little Debbie. I don't mean to be…usually I don't like to be too harsh, right? But I feel like the Swiss rolls that I was consuming, they were low…it was like, I looked at it; I said, this should be really good, and I should be grateful that I have a dessert, and usually I was.

 

But the Swiss roll was always something…I was like…I mean, I guess this is what I would say; it could be worse. You could have no dessert or something that’s not as…at least you have a Swiss roll. So, I guess that was my opinion on the Swiss rolls I was getting; better than nothing. What were some other ones? Oatmeal Pie. The advantage of Oatmeal Pie…I wouldn't say it was better…these were Little Debbie-esque brands just in case Little Debbie’s listening. Oatmeal Pie, not bad. Also, whatever the combination of chocolate and cream filling balance in the Swiss rolls, it wasn't well-balanced. So, you were always left with too much…it wasn't just balanced out. So, I guess if you were a super chocolate fan, you might like it, but I’m…I like chocolate when it’s balanced with something creamy. The Oatmeal Pie, not bad. There’s Nutter Butters. Again, you say, not bad, especially…the Oatmeal Pie and the Nutter Butter, the less the better.

 

That was maybe where Little Debbie…even though the Nutter Butter, it seemed like…I don't know. Nutter Butter was a wafer cookie-type thing, or biscuit. Then you had the Star Crunch, which was like Rice Krispies, caramel, and chocolate melted…and there was always a rumor that there was a star shape inside if you cut it, but we never got…no science teacher…no one ever…huh, here’s…if I could time travel, maybe I’d do that. The Star Crunch conundrum. Does the Star Crunch actually…? Why is it named Star…? Here’s…if they ever bring back the Mystery Show, Star Crunch…what? It’s…I mean, you wouldn't call it Chocolate Rice Krispies Cereal Caramel Lump. Little Debbie; I need to get more to know about this company. Probably also manufacturers like industrial lubricants and things. I’m just guessing. So, Swiss rolls, they're something that I’m sure, if I was to go to a bakery and get some sort of Swiss roll, it would be delightful.

 

The times I’ve gotten rolled holiday cakes, which are similar to Swiss roll or maybe the same thing, they've been delicious. So, in summary, the first thing our bakers are making are Swiss rolls. We’ve got maybe George up first. He’s got a dog. His oven’s open. Family…knitting or flying a kite, maybe, and a farm. Then we have Lizzie; dog, stickers. Noel has matching slippers. I think that means matching shirts. Chigs, C-H-I-G-S…clamor…Jim…guitar…Chantilly cream. Giuseppe? Lab, question mark? Pizza, question mark? Easter. Jairzeno…Jairzeno? Forage, dancing…assembly…flat with paper. Rolls up to center. So, that was one thing I noticed, is that the…some people roll…so, what you do is you basically bake a thin cake. You got it on some sort of parchment paper. Now, we gotta bake it the correct way so it’s not…it doesn't…it maintains its shape. Then you put the filling on and then you roll it. Now, some people would roll it one big roll.

 

Other people would roll theirs towards the center, so then they have two separate rolls. I guess it’s a tough balance between having a cake that’s thin enough to roll but still has some cakeability. Okay, then you cut them up. How much is…? Oh yeah, how much of this…? So, this is where I was speculating about the history of Little Debbie, was…back when the people across the world were dancing-off against one another for the second time, how many people visited Europe and then…how many Americans were visiting Europe helping them, and then said, hm, I’ve grown to have an affinity for these Swiss rolls, and maybe that there was a more shelf-stable Swiss roll developed as a part of that time that people gained an affinity for? Then when they got home, they said, man, I’m craving those Swiss rolls. The shelf…the fresh ones or the shelf-stable ones? Those are questions I don't have the answer to. I wonder…I do wa-wa-wonder. Yeah, so, that’s…that was my thing.

 

Coconut…somebody’s making one with coconut. I put, question mark, double exclamation point. Frosting and topping time. Good to better…okay, so…oh, this is one, two…Amanda rope…oh, so yaer, lovest…Amanda…rope balance, nope balance…Tom got it good. Cheddar…no, that must be Chantel? Let me see the name. Crystelle, maybe? Good…no swirl. No swirl, though. George is a mess. It’s like pudding. Sigh, sigh. Rochica…rubbery, maybe? Jurgen…wood pellet…not sweet. Freya…faff? question mark. Hefty. Chigs…swirl frost. Lizzie…flavors vary. Giuseppe…neat as a pin. Elegant, classy taste. Bother in both. Then we do the talking heads. Okay, then we have the mystery. Prue says, anyone over thirty-five years old won't know what it is. Malt loaf…their faces…Giuseppe…no idea. Table talk sampler…hard to mix and bake. My nan…tea loaf…fruit. Rose cherry, question mark? Matt….extract. Do not…does not…oh, malt extract does not smell good. Talking ostrich dance-off?

 

Mix…in the oven. Long bake. Then cheering to no…Dre. Better making…better…how long? No one knows coming out. Good or bad…better off on top. No one knows. Okay, then they do the tasting. One looks good. Better derby…small, good fruit…so, this is a malt loaf. I guess we’ll get into it later. But it’s a malt bread with fruit in it that you put…and then you had to make fresh butter. Small, good fruit…that’s two. Three; even, too much fruit. Four; too salty. Five; good. Six; lots of fruit…short. Seven; pale, cheery. Eight; nice, calm tension…sacket. Nine; flargen. Ten; dodgy, underdone. Doughy, probably. Eleven; pale, longer in oven. Twelve; mix…never even…slans calm. So, I think this goes from last to first. Amanda, Chigs, Giuseppe, Jairzeno, Crystelle, Rochica, Jurgen, Tim, Lizzie, George, Freya in second and Maggie in first. Big smiles. Talking heads…table talk…back is bubble. Okay, then we have the next thing. Maggie, Prue…they're doing a lot of jokes about it. Anti-gravity cakes…defying gravity.

 

They missed a chance for like…I think the years were…I don't know how many years ago this series came out, but they could have had…Defying Gravity would have been a great crossover, though one’s on Netflix and one’s on the bird network. Pass on tap…they case it. Framework…how do they do that? So, they want a cake or cakes that somehow defies gravity. Now, you can't have a superstructure 'cause this is the showcase, whatever they call it. The showcase bake? Fundamentally a nice bake, whatever it is. Chigs is doing coffee pouring into a cup. So, there’s water, then the larger cake that’s either a pot or something, and then a cup. Giuseppe; Jack and the Beanstalk. So, he has a beanstalk going up to a cloud cake with maybe a castle on it. Something raspberry coulis…kid’s cake. Jurgen; a book with a light…book light and book. DIY…now, Jurgen’s putting washers and bolts in his. He says, don't worry, I put my…all my metal in the dishwasher.

 

George is doing backgammon with a…something pot. I think coffee pot, that is. Maggie…ice cream pour correct…pearl? Still working…Prue bit. Give her the glasses. Oh, so they make Maggie wear Prue’s glasses. Intro own…into the oven go the sponges, which are the cake. Lots of metal. Layers of stuff. Crystelle…floral bouquet for her aunt. It’s a gravity…anti…oh, that was funny. There was some…Noel says, oh, your auntie, auntie-gravity cake. That was a good one. Freya…flour put onto…of cake. Somebody and Matt…coffee on a string. Everyone working on assembly, building. Jarizen…my handwriting…kick…he’s got it…kick the can cake. Metal, plastic…Jairzeno…cake went roll up right into…oh, so his cake’s not going good. He rolls it up, puts it in the fridge or in the freezer. Noel and Matt do a upside-down bit. Rochica’s doing an apple cake, fragile. Huh…lens claires? Lens dardinere? Lizzie…nana’s peaches and cream. Pour a cup into cake…now they're working on their smaller cakes.

 

Tony’s doing a 1812 offset cake…into gentle toppings on. Paul…store…paddle board. Top going on. Strobbles…final touches. Help balance cake on table. Chess cup falling apart…cupping the cup…oh yeah, this guy…Chigs; that’s Chigs. Not chess. He has to cup his cup, his coffee cup, which eventually falls apart onto the floor. He had to go first. Cake looks good. George; could be neater. Nice flowers. Maggie…more plant pot. Delicious. Not much flour. Jairzeno; not what we expected, but we love the flair. Amanda…concept good. Over-baked. Lizzie…simplish…simplistic mess, maybe? Flamenco…Freya…flows well. Lovely booze. Delicious and vegan. Crystelle…elegant, baffly flannel…rose water. Rochica…most detailed. Flavors lovely. Tom; not anti-gravity at all. Not good. Giuseppe; dry, good, beautiful. Now layers and flavor. Jurgen; clean and simple, elegant, light rose. Then we go to the talking heads.

 

Sitting outside…the contestants are taking up sun with the other…one another. Matt’s going here and there. Tom, Jurgen, talking heads. Lyrics…whose voice? Oh, so that…oh, this is talking heads…Jurgen calls…no one here. Oh, Jurgen calls home. So, Jurgen came in first. He calls home; no one’s there. I guess I forgot that Jurgen came in first. For some reason I was thinking it was Maggie. Maggie came first on the malt loaf. I think it was Maggie, Jurgen, and Freya. Talking heads…Matt…so, I think Tom went home. I have no idea. Tom didn't do…so, this is like a free thing that we learn. If you don't follow the instructions, your cake better be unbelievable, and even if it is, they don't…I mean, I think this goes on most of these preparation reality shows. If they tell you to do something, you probably give yourself at least a 70% chance if you don't follow…if they say, make an anti-gravity cake and you make one that’s like…I mean, technically this is…his was just a little bit off-center.

 

Here’s what I would recommend…I mean, this…the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but it’s gotta be really leaning, and then I guess you have to have something…where if it was the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it’d be like, how’s that still standing without some sort of brace? But his was more like a pile of books or like a Jeng…I mean, his wasn't a Jenga tower, but if it was…you know what I mean. You gotta follow the instructions. I got the sense he seemed like a really nice guy, but that maybe it was like, you know…I don't know. He just reminded me of me a bit. You get in that state and then you kinda see life with blinders on. Okay, so now we're back with the episode again. Let’s see what I actually got, anything new, 'cause there was some things I wanted to look up. Alright, let me look up…sorry, I decided…I have so many…in my notes I put rectangles around things that I want to look up. So, I just took a break and looked up some stuff.

 

So, let’s run through that, ‘cause it does start with the Swiss roll. Okay, so, it did not start in Switzerland. It was a staple of…in European…whatever, patisserie. It was part…possibly a part of tea time, and a lot of times it had fruit in the rolling part with the sponge cake. So, we’ve talked about that. Probably started around the 1800s, referenced in the…somewhere in the Birmingham Journal, 1856. They should be light and airy, just like on the show. There was also a caterpillar cake, which was decorated, oddly enough, kinda like Fudgie the Whale, like given a face to make…you say, oh boy, I love Fudgie the Whale. People apparently loved caterpillar cakes. But yeah, this stuff about long shelf life, mass produced…something more shelf stable was a Little Debbie. Oh, there’s also — I forgot about it — Drake’s Cakes and…oh, Ho Hos. So, that was the good version. Is that what a Ho Ho is? I guess so. Little Debbie was just called a Swiss roll.

 

Hostess…I knew they had a better…slightly better quality. We didn't have a lot of Drake’s Cake exposure here. But yeah, Hostess had the Ho Hos, which I think were slightly better quality, but I’ll…maybe I’ll…one day I’ll do a comparison. Okay, yeah, they made them smaller and then…with shelf-stable stuff. Yeah, in the seventies and eighties they got put in lunches. They could stay in the cupboard. There are popular things in the Mini Roll in the…called the Mini Roll in the UK. So, yeah. The other thing I had a question…and I think we probably looked…well, I guess we haven't done these research ones in a while. That’s what I like doing, is…so, during this season and the season before, I think, they stayed at Down Hall so they could have their own private…it was a time when everybody was staying home. So, they worked together. Instead of being at Welford Park, they were in Down Hall. There was an entire production team, about 120 people on site.

 

That must have been…I wonder if there’s a documentary about this. Everybody stayed there. It’s a 110-acre estate around the hotel. Staff stayed there as well. There was twelve separate kitchens in the car park so they could practice. Now, normally the show’s filmed on the weekends, so, over twelve to thirteen weekends. But this, they kinda did a shorter six to seven weeks. So, it would be interesting to learn more. It felt like a summer camp. Then in 2022 they returned to Welford Park. Oh, next up was jaggery, which is a unrefined sugar, like where…so, jaggery is made by boiling down sugarcane juice or palm sap until it solidifies. Because the molasses is not taken away or stripped away, it has a darker color and flavor that’s kinda like — oh boy, this sounds delicious — brown sugar, caramel, and fudge. So, juice is pressed from the sugarcane, tapped…or tapped from the palm trees — that could be date, coconut, or other palms — then boiled in large, shallow pans, stuff skimmed off the top, then is concentrated into a thick, golden-brown paste.

 

Then it could be…I wonder if you can buy it as a paste or a powder. Then it should have a deep, earthy sweetness. In India it’s called gur [inaudible], and it can be used in anything to balance heat and flavors or…so, in sweet and savory dishes and sweet dishes. Also retains some minerals like iron, magnesium, and potassium. It can be crumbly or soft. You could shave it off a block or buy it as granule or powder to put in tea or coffee. So, what’s the difference between jaggery and brown sugar, was a question. Brown sugar is usually refined white sugar that has molasses added back in. I had no idea about that. Kinda sprayed on…jaggery, the molasses was never taken out. I gotta pick myself up some jaggery. Alright, next up is Bristol, which came up. One of the contestants was from Bristol. Known as the capital of the West Country. So, it has a good art and cultural scene. There’s the Clifton Suspension Bridge. Spans Avon…the Avon Gorge. Incredible views.

 

There’s the SS Great Briton, which was the world’s first luxury liner, now dry docked. You can tour the Victorian cabins. There’s also an Amazement Park, a massive immersive art labyrinth. Oh boy, that sounds really cool. I’m gonna have to…I'm gonna just keep doing some more research here. Let’s see, attractions in Bristol…this is everything. But I wanna…sixty free things to do in Bristol. Museums and galleries, indoor attractions…let me see if I can find this place. Rainy, door…outdoor stuff. Cabot Circus is ultimate shopping. Looks like it’s a indoor/outdoor shopping area. We the curious…they've got a big screen. Oh, here it is, the Amazement Park. Wake the puppy-poo. Read more. Oh, is this it? That’s the offer about it. Okay, my phone’s just jumping around here. Immersive experience…Amazement Park…self-guided adventure at the Dream Factory into the Outerverse. Forty places to explore. Soul-stirring journey…there’s artisanal food, a curiosity shop.

 

Of course it ends at the…your journey ends at the curiosity shop. There’s sensory-friendly experiences. Sustainable…it seems like it’s a little bit between that place I’ve never been before that’s like a museum but it’s not a museum. There’s…they're in every tourist area, but I can't think of the name of it. Kinda like Ripley’s. Or is it more like something like Meow Wolf? Saint Nicholas Market…harbor-side and M shed…the M Shed Museum tells the story of the city and has some originals by Banksy. Bristol is the hometown of Banksy, by the way, though I don't know…you'll find many original Banksy works there. There’s the Leaning Tower of Bristol; 2.7 degrees. That’s only one degree less than the Leaning Tower. That’s weird that I brought that up. There’s a famous black currant drink there. It was invented in Bristol in 1933. Bristol is the world’s leading manufacturer of hot-air balloons. They're also having in 2026 Upfest, European…Europe’s largest street fest…street art festival.

 

They're gonna paint new art murals. Let’s do…let’s see here…fourteen things…this is from…once I go down these rabbit holes, I can't stop. This is Nomadic Matt. Most people will use Bristol to go to Bath or Stonehenge. Bristol Cathedral, King Street, Clifton Suspension Bridge, Saint Nicholas Market, Bristol Museum and Art Gallery…take a walking tour. What do we got? Take a street art tour, visit the SS Great Briton…We the Curious; that’s a science and art center. The Downs; that’s a parkland on the edge of the city. Oh, maybe this is where…maybe that’s why I looked it up. Then there’s Cabot Tower. That’s not the one that’s leaning, though. Blaise Castle? Is that B-L-A-I-S-E? 1798. It’s a lookalike. It’s just a house. Essentially an ornamental building with sleepy…no, sweeping views. The Avon Gorge…the Avon Valley Railway; once connected Bristol to Bath, but now it’s like a heritage railway. Steam-powered train…there’s the Wokey, W-O-K-E-Y Hole, la cavas. Unique geological area.

 

Just a day trip an hour away. Limestone, baby. Gloucester Road…I think I…I thought I got it right, but maybe that means I got it wrong. That’s the largest stretch of independent shops. The whole street’s walkable. Anything else from this one? Not from that one there. There’s a lot more from Bristol. Visit Bristol UK, visit Britain. What else you got? More about Banksy. Facts…so, there’s a lot of options there. Okay, what about faff? This was one I had to put a rectangle around, 'cause I said, what does faff mean? F-A-F-F. I may get a general sense of it, but I was like, man, maybe I should take some time to learn about my…learn about faff. Okay, so, fussy, time consuming, or inefficient. Like, I’m just faff…are you just faffing around? Who sang that song? Is that Counting Crows? I’m just faffing around? I think that was the Counting Crows. I think they called it…I'm just faffing around this old town on my bike or walking on the sidewalk. I’m just faffing around this old town. I’m not in a hurry.

 

Don't need to be anywhere, kinda like that sleep podcaster. He does a lot of faffing. F to the A to the F to the F, man. As a verb…oh boy, I just hit the wrong button, though. Okay, why did you…? Can you just not open up that? Thank you. I’m…I just got…I've been faffed. As a verb, faff…oh, faff about or faff around. So, it’s not just made up. Spend time doing things in a disorganized way without actually accomplishing much. That’s kinda…as a noun, faff is when it’s overly complicated, more effort than it’s worth. So, that would be…might be how they were referring to it on the show, a faff. It’s a bit of a faff, man. Related terms; faffy or faffing. So, this could be another…I mean, I know I pitch…I know I’ve never been in touch with Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman, and I don't know of any bands…what’s a band that…? The Funk…are you faffing, Funkadelic for free or not? What other bands start with…? Are you Faff & Frampton? Are you getting faffy with Frampton for me?

 

For…so, that could be…technically…usually it’s a song title, though. I mean, I think…what if they did it and they were faffing about Frampton and Funkadelic? Are you faffing Frampton…from Frampton to Funkadelic? Frafree? That’s more like what Scooby-Doo would say. Okay, so that’s good. Okay, so that’s faff. Now let’s get into malts, 'cause here in the US I’m…my experience with malts…by the way, I love…I mean, I don't love…I love malt powder. Not just a chocolate malt. I’ll take a vanilla malt. I’m not much of a milkshake person. I remember once upon a time, long, long time ago…now, I don't even know where he liked to go. My friend Charlie, he became a big milkshake fan. He would say…and I didn't even know you could do this. So, this was pre-Starbucks era. He would get a chocolate ice…a chocolate malt with vanilla syrup at some ice cream place here in…when we were kids. I mean in high school.

 

It was like, we were old enough to drive our cars but we were still…so, we're probably like sixteen, seventeen, maybe not even. I’m gonna have to ask him. But he would…he told me. He’s like, you gotta get this…gotta get this…this is the greatest milkshake you could…if you're a chocolate fan, yes. I think the introduction of vanilla syrup, which now is common…back then it was like, wait a second, vanilla syrup like they would put in a Vanilla Coke if you went to a place where you could order Cherry Vanilla Coke, which is already rare? Yeah. I remember…I was like, wait a second, I’ve never ordered…I just order what’s on the menu. You're telling me…that’s like the stuff on the side of the menu; costs like, twenty cents extra? Yeah. So, you order a chocolate shake with vanilla syrup and…a chocolate malt shake with vanilla syrup. He was so convinced that…he was so in love with this shake that I said, okay, I’ll go do it. And I did it, and then I said, well, it’s a bit much for me, honestly.

 

I maybe did it one other time. Then maybe I…then I did fly too close to the sun as ice cream, 'cause I probably then tried to add the syrup or malt to other things. Then I said, why would you add malt to…? ‘Cause I was big into vanilla…no, no, mint chip ice cream. That was my ice cream back in the day. I think even adding vanilla syrup to mint chip…I don't know if that’s any good. But malting is related to the malting process. Germinating grains, usually barley, drying them…develop the enzymes in sugars. So, the malt loaf in the UK…dark, heavy, squidgy, difficult to slice 'cause it’s so sticky, eaten with generous slathering of butter, and it’s rich in B vitamins. So, that was a thing. Then US, malt is synonymous with malted milk, chocolate malt or malted milk balls. This was a import from James and William Horlick, H-O-R-L-I-C-K, in Wisconsin, 1870s. They combined malt extract with wheat and evaporated milk into a powder.

 

They said, oh yeah, you could…this is gonna help…it was lightweight, didn't spoil, full of calories. Somehow it became a treat. They were saying, yeah, if you were…kinda like…they said, since we don't have lembas bread, we're gonna make this. But then people…soda fountains had Horlick’s malted milk powder. Maybe it was…can you imagine that with just soda? Basically, whatever, bubble water. They started adding it to milkshakes. Yeah, then other people got into it. So, yeah, it’s enzymes that break down maltose. Okay, Peter Andre came up in this episode. No idea. I mean, I probably should, but I said, I have no idea who Peter Andre is. I better put a rectangle around it. But in the nineties and 2000s, in the UK, pop culture, impossible to miss. So, his signature hit, Mysterious Girl, which I’ll have to look up…shirtless in a waterfall. He had several other hips…hits, but Mysterious Girl went straight to number one. Became a timeless British favorite.

 

Then he became popular on celebrity…what are those called? Reality shows. Now he’s…2026 has a new legacy album out, maybe? He’s also been in…touring musicals in the UK. So, that’s interesting. Okay, raspberry ripple; that was another one. I think that was one of the ice creams in…I've heard of fudge ripple and raspberry ripple, but I don't know if I’ve had either one. Probably fudge ripple. Those were ice creams back in the eighties and the nineties before this great expansion of ice creams we’ve had. I think it was even in the movie Goonies. That’s one of the ice creams that Fudge…or Fudge…what’s his name? Jeff Cohen finds. I don't know his name in the…not…he’s not in Tales of Fourth Grade Nothing. Two different things. But anyway, raspberry ripple…vanilla ice cream with raspberry syrup injected into it. The fruit is not…it’s not fruit flavored. The ripple is distinct. A ribbon or marble, and flavor of the British seaside. In the US they said…they made a machine that could do it.

 

A bulk flavor company in Pittsburgh may have invented it. Also, it looked good, 'cause post dance…worldwide dance-off II, the US…that was when ice cream places grew. People were also big into the black raspberry flavor, which is also a soft serve that’s rare. Not on the West Coast. I rarely saw it. But here in Syracuse, usually you'll get…some soft-serve places will have a black raspberry soft serve, or they did when I was a kid, though even today you can get it. Okay, so that’s ripple. I think one of the…I talked about the book Utopia, which was a Thomas More book from 1516 describing a perfect society and saying, hey, let’s share more. Let’s be more kind and less wagging our fingers at one another. I don't know if this is anything like the one…the utopia that was in Get Besos Season 2. No credits. Everyone shares. People change houses every ten years. Six-hour work day…okay, I like that idea. Very tolerant of other people’s belief systems. It’s also a pun; means no place or good place.

 

Oh, The Good Place; that’s funny. 500 years of debate about this book. Did More want England to look like it? Some people said yes. Some people said it was a satire. Some people said it was not what they would want. I don't know, I just thought about that. Yeah, I think that’s it. I think we're at time here. So, a good episode of Bake-Off. Just getting to know the characters and learning from this first episode. I know not everybody loves it when I look at my notes in a honest way, 'cause my handwriting is not good. So, I’m gonna keep that in mind for Episode 2. But also it’s like, this is like…this tends to work…I don't know, it’s one of those things of balancing the show. But I do like what comes out of watching it on mute first, seeing what pops, and then with this, I watched it again, which then I was able to refine my notes. But then maybe going…then going with what…I like the research portion. We used to do this a lot more. We kinda got away from it, 'cause it does take a little bit more time. But, I don't know, I think I like these rabbit holes it goes down. So, I’m glad you're here. Thanks so much for listening, and goodnight, everybody.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Great British Bake You Off to Sleep

 

Martha Washington

https://www.history.com/articles/martha-washington

https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/martha-washington

https://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/martha-washington/biography

 

GBBO S12/C9 E1

https://www.nerdsandbeyond.com/2021/09/22/the-great-british-baking-show-season-12-episode-1-recap-cake-week/

https://www.thetakeout.com/great-british-bake-gbbo-12-premiere-recap-cake-week-1847738723/

https://thespool.net/reviews/the-great-british-baking-show-season-12-episode-1-reca/

 

Fudgie the Whale

https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/16/food/fudgie-the-whale-carvel-history

https://www.historyoasis.com/post/fudgie-the-whale

https://www.thedailymeal.com/1597785/history-carvel-mascot-fudgie-the-whale/

 

Bristol Amazement Park

https://visitbristol.co.uk/listing/wake-the-tiger/309833301/

https://roostandroam.co.uk/wake-the-tiger-bristol-amazement-park/

https://blooloop.com/theme-park/in-depth/wake-the-tiger/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Hello bakers

Bake Off is back!

Reconstruction walkthrough

A new collection of the Great British Baking Show

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth

 

INTRO

Post Participle Past

My thoughts have been thunk

I guess declarations aren’t good for bedtime

Maybe only the Declaration of Independence is boring at bedtime

My no smoting policy

What a historical figure you strike

Retracting all declarations about declarations

I do doth declare…that my thoughts have been thunk

What would Martha Washington say about this?

When I say I’m glad you’re here, I mean it

My relationship to sleep has been generally, strongly non-positive

The network of supportive listeners

Indirect magic around the show

You flourishing in your life makes the whole world a better place to be

On the wrong side of Martha Washington

Too many good Marthas

And Martas

Mar-Based Names (MBNs)

Would you believe that most new listeners don’t like this podcast at first?

One day you’ll get that none of us get it

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

The show could be background noise if you like

Your Big Borebowski

A borefriend just hangs out

I watched Bake Off first on mute, then on audio

The structure of the intro

Easing you into bedtime

Lowering the volume on the day

Chatting and barely giggling

Anyone with any knowledge of history is not giggling tonight

Bore Giggles

One step away from comedy adjacent

Less than Alt comedy

Jelight

 

STORY

GBBO S12 / C9 E1

Covering Cake Week

I’m always trying to improve

A new method

Watching things on mute

More effective pondering

A classic comedy open

Mullets

Best open ever?

A band of Matt, Noel, Prue, and Paul

They’re lip syncing and playing instruments

Doing squatch wells?

I’m guessing Noel is on keyboards

Episode preview

Nice sweater contrast

Signature Challenge: Making Swiss rolls

School lunch desserts were maybe not a great idea

Here in the US, in my experience…

Little Debbie

Hostess

Swiss rolls were something that other kids maybe had in their lunch

I’m a ding dong who loves ding dongs

There’s a Hostess and Entenmann’s outlet nearby

Honest manipulation about Hostess

And oh boy, I’ve rediscovered Carvel

I’ll take any excuse to get a Fudgie the Whale

The Swiss rolls I consumed as a child were never great

The Swiss rolls I got were better than nothing

Oatmeal Pie – not bad

Nutter Butters? Also not bad

Rumors around Star Crunch

Star Crunch Conundrum

Boy, I hope Little Debbie doesn’t make, like, industrial lubricants, also

George – he’s got a dog

Chigs – clamor, guitar, chantilly cream

Giuseppe 

Jairzeno – forage and dancing

So you gotta bake it skinny and then roll it

Thin enough to roll, but retaining cakeability

How did Little Debbie come to be?

Was it during the second global dance off?

Shelf Stable Swiss Rolls

Someone’s using coconut

Judgment

Jair – lovest

Amanda – no balance

Tom – good

Crystelle – good, no swirl

George – a mess

Rochica – rubbery

Jürgen – wood pellet, not sweet

Freya – faff, hefty

Chigs – swirl frost

Lizzy – flavors vary

Giuseppe – neat as a pin, flavorful

Technical: Malt Loaf

A mystery

Malt extract does not sound good

Long bake in the oven

No one knows how long

Better off on top

Tasting

It’s a malt bread with fruit. And you have to make fresh butter

Amanda is last

Maggie gets first!

Showstopper

Anti-gravity cakes!

They could’ve done a great Defying Gravity joke

Cakes that defy gravity

But not superstructure

Chigs – coffee pouring into a cup

Giuseppe – Jack and the Beanstalk

Jurgen – booklight and book

He’s putting washers and bolts in his

George – backgammon with a coffee pot

Maggie – ice cream pour correct

Crystelle – floral bouquet

Auntie Gravity

Freya – flower put onto cake

Jairzeno – kicking the can cake

His isn’t going well

Rochica – fragile apple cake

Lizzie – Nana’s peaches and cream

Tony – 1812 offset cake

Paul – store paddleboard

Chigs’ cup is falling apart

Judgment

Chigs – cake looks good but messy

George – messy, nice flowers

Maggie – not much flower

Jairzeno – unexpected, flair

Amanda – concept good, overbaked

Lizzie – simplistic mess

Freya – flows well. Lovely and vegan

Crystele – elegant

Rochica – most detailed. Lovely flavors

Tom – not anti-gravity at all

Giuseppe – beautiful, flavor

Jurgen – clean, simple, elegant

Talking Heads

Oh, Jurgen got first

He calls home but no one is there

Oh, I think Tom went home

If you don’t follow the instructions, your cake better be unbelievable

Tom seemed nice, but it didn’t work out

He kind of reminded me about me

Okay, let’s recap it again

I have so many things to look up

Swiss Roll history

It didn’t start in Switzerland

Possibly part of tea time

Probably started in the 1800s

Caterpillar Cake!

The British version of Fudgie the Whale

I forgot about Ho Ho’s and Drake’s Cakes

Maybe one day I’ll do a comparison of all these treats

I guess we haven’t done these research topics in a while

Staying at Down Hall

Is there a documentary about when they all lived together during the tough time?

Normally the show is filmed on the weekends

But this year they returned to Welford Park

Jaggery – unrefined sugar

This does sound delicious

Brown sugar vs jaggery

I gotta pick up some jaggery

History of Bristol

Capital of the West Country

Clifton Suspension Bridge

An amazement park!

An indoor/outdoor shopping area

Your journey ends at the curiosity shop

The amazement park has 40 interactive elements

Is it like Meow Wolf?

Bristol is the hometown of Banksy, btw

The Leaning Tower of Bristol

A famous black currant drink

The world’s leading manufacturer of hot air balloons

One I get on these rabbit holes, I can’t stop

Blaise Castle – just a lookalike

Avon Valley Railway

Wokey Hole La Cava

Limestone, baby

What does faff mean?

Let’s take some time to learn about faff

Just Faffin’ Around

Isn’t that a Counting Crows song?

More effort than it’s worth

Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman? Are you listening?

R U Faffin’ Frampton 4 Me?

Let’s get into malts

I’m not much of a milkshake person

But I do love malt drinks

Long ago, my friend Charlie was a big milkshake fan

As a child, he’d get a chocolate malt with vanilla syrup

This was Pre-Starbucks Era

You’re telling me you can get off-menu items?

I was really into vanilla chip ice cream back in the day

Okay, back to malt

Dark, heavy and squidgy

I love a malted milk ball

Imported by the Holick brothers of Cincinnati

I don’t know who Peter Andre is

“Mysterious Girl”, his signature hit

Raspberry ripple ice cream flavor

Back before the great ice cream flavor expansion of the 80s and 90s

I think it’s in Goonies

A distinct raspberry marble

Thomas More – Utopia

Let’s share more and be more kind

6 hour work day, I like that

Oh, it translates to “The Good Place”. That’s funny

I think we’re at time here

A great episode of Bake Off

I like going down these rabbit holes

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1465

Title: Cake Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep S12/C9 E1

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth

Notable Language:

• Post Participle Past
• I do doth declare…
• Mar-Based Names (MBNs)
• Bore Giggles
• Less than Alt comedy
• Jelight
• More effective pondering
• Star Crunch Conundrum
• Cakeability
• Auntie Gravity
• Faff
• Just Faffin’ Around
• Pre-Starbucks Era

 

Notable Culture:

• Great British Bake Off

• • Martha Washington
  • Declaration of Independence
  • Martha Plimpton
  • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

• The Big Lebowski

• • Little Debbie
  • Hostess
  • Entenmann’s
  • Carvel
  • Nutter Butter

• The Mystery Show podcast

• • “Defying Gravity” song / Wicked
  • Jack and the Beanstalk
  • Meow Wolf
  • Banksy
  • The Leaning Tower of Bristol
  • Counting Crows
  • R U Faffin’ Frampton 4 Me?
  • Adam Scott
  • Scott Aukerman
  • Parliament Funkadelic
  • Starbucks
  • Peter Andre – “Mysterious Girl”

• Goonies

• Thomas More – Utopia

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Post Participle Past
• My thoughts have been thunk
• I guess declarations aren’t good for bedtime
• Maybe only the Declaration of Independence is boring at bedtime
• My no smoting policy
• What a historical figure you strike
• Retracting all declarations about declarations
• I do doth declare…that my thoughts have been thunk
• What would Martha Washington say about this?
• When I say I’m glad you’re here, I mean it
• My relationship to sleep has been generally, strongly non-positive
• The network of supportive listeners
• Indirect magic around the show
• You flourishing in your life makes the whole world a better place to be
• On the wrong side of Martha Washington
• Too many good Marthas
• And Martas
• Mar-Based Names (MBNs)
• Would you believe that most new listeners don’t like this podcast at first?
• One day you’ll get that none of us get it
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• The show could be background noise if you like
• Your Big Borebowski
• A borefriend just hangs out
• I watched Bake Off first on mute, then on audio
• The structure of the intro
• Easing you into bedtime
• Lowering the volume on the day
• Chatting and barely giggling
• Anyone with any knowledge of history is not giggling tonight
• Bore Giggles
• One step away from comedy adjacent
• Less than Alt comedy
• Jelight
• GBBO S12 / C9 E1
• Covering Cake Week
• I’m always trying to improve
• A new method
• Watching things on mute
• More effective pondering
• A classic comedy open
• Mullets
• Best open ever?
• A band of Matt, Noel, Prue, and Paul
• They’re lip syncing and playing instruments
• Doing squatch wells?
• I’m guessing Noel is on keyboards
• Episode preview
• Nice sweater contrast
• Signature Challenge: Making Swiss rolls
• School lunch desserts were maybe not a great idea
• Here in the US, in my experience…
• Little Debbie
• Hostess
• Swiss rolls were something that other kids maybe had in their lunch
• I’m a ding dong who loves ding dongs
• There’s a Hostess and Entenmann’s outlet nearby
• Honest manipulation about Hostess
• And oh boy, I’ve rediscovered Carvel
• I’ll take any excuse to get a Fudgie the Whale
• The Swiss rolls I consumed as a child were never great
• The Swiss rolls I got were better than nothing
• Oatmeal Pie – not bad
• Nutter Butters? Also not bad
• Rumors around Star Crunch
• Star Crunch Conundrum
• Boy, I hope Little Debbie doesn’t make, like, industrial lubricants, also
• George – he’s got a dog
• Chigs – clamor, guitar, chantilly cream
• Giuseppe 
• Jairzeno – forage and dancing
• So you gotta bake it skinny and then roll it
• Thin enough to roll, but retaining cakeability
• How did Little Debbie come to be?
• Was it during the second global dance off?
• Shelf Stable Swiss Rolls
• Someone’s using coconut
• Judgment
• Jair – lovest
• Amanda – no balance
• Tom – good
• Crystelle – good, no swirl
• George – a mess
• Rochica – rubbery
• Jürgen – wood pellet, not sweet
• Freya – faff, hefty
• Chigs – swirl frost
• Lizzy – flavors vary
• Giuseppe – neat as a pin, flavorful
• Technical: Malt Loaf
• A mystery
• Malt extract does not sound good
• Long bake in the oven
• No one knows how long
• Better off on top
• Tasting
• It’s a malt bread with fruit. And you have to make fresh butter
• Amanda is last
• Maggie gets first!
• Showstopper
• Anti-gravity cakes!
• They could’ve done a great Defying Gravity joke
• Cakes that defy gravity
• But not superstructure
• Chigs – coffee pouring into a cup
• Giuseppe – Jack and the Beanstalk
• Jurgen – booklight and book
• He’s putting washers and bolts in his
• George – backgammon with a coffee pot
• Maggie – ice cream pour correct
• Crystelle – floral bouquet
• Auntie Gravity
• Freya – flower put onto cake
• Jairzeno – kicking the can cake
• His isn’t going well
• Rochica – fragile apple cake
• Lizzie – Nana’s peaches and cream
• Tony – 1812 offset cake
• Paul – store paddleboard
• Chigs’ cup is falling apart
• Judgment
• Chigs – cake looks good but messy
• George – messy, nice flowers
• Maggie – not much flower
• Jairzeno – unexpected, flair
• Amanda – concept good, overbaked
• Lizzie – simplistic mess
• Freya – flows well. Lovely and vegan
• Crystele – elegant
• Rochica – most detailed. Lovely flavors
• Tom – not anti-gravity at all
• Giuseppe – beautiful, flavor
• Jurgen – clean, simple, elegant
• Talking Heads
• Oh, Jurgen got first
• He calls home but no one is there
• Oh, I think Tom went home
• If you don’t follow the instructions, your cake better be unbelievable
• Tom seemed nice, but it didn’t work out
• He kind of reminded me about me
• Okay, let’s recap it again
• I have so many things to look up
• Swiss Roll history
• It didn’t start in Switzerland
• Possibly part of tea time
• Probably started in the 1800s
• Caterpillar Cake!
• The British version of Fudgie the Whale
• I forgot about Ho Ho’s and Drake’s Cakes
• Maybe one day I’ll do a comparison of all these treats
• I guess we haven’t done these research topics in a while
• Staying at Down Hall
• Is there a documentary about when they all lived together during the tough time?
• Normally the show is filmed on the weekends
• But this year they returned to Welford Park
• Jaggery – unrefined sugar
• This does sound delicious
• Brown sugar vs jaggery
• I gotta pick up some jaggery
• History of Bristol
• Capital of the West Country
• Clifton Suspension Bridge
• An amazement park!
• An indoor/outdoor shopping area
• Your journey ends at the curiosity shop
• The amazement park has 40 interactive elements
• Is it like Meow Wolf?
• Bristol is the hometown of Banksy, btw
• The Leaning Tower of Bristol
• A famous black currant drink
• The world’s leading manufacturer of hot air balloons
• One I get on these rabbit holes, I can’t stop
• Blaise Castle – just a lookalike
• Avon Valley Railway
• Wokey Hole La Cava
• Limestone, baby
• What does faff mean?
• Let’s take some time to learn about faff
• Just Faffin’ Around
• Isn’t that a Counting Crows song?
• More effort than it’s worth
• Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman? Are you listening?
• R U Faffin’ Frampton 4 Me?
• Let’s get into malts
• I’m not much of a milkshake person
• But I do love malt drinks
• Long ago, my friend Charlie was a big milkshake fan
• As a child, he’d get a chocolate malt with vanilla syrup
• This was Pre-Starbucks Era
• You’re telling me you can get off-menu items?
• I was really into vanilla chip ice cream back in the day
• Okay, back to malt
• Dark, heavy and squidgy
• I love a malted milk ball
• Imported by the Holick brothers of Cincinnati
• I don’t know who Peter Andre is
• “Mysterious Girl”, his signature hit
• Raspberry ripple ice cream flavor
• Back before the great ice cream flavor expansion of the 80s and 90s
• I think it’s in Goonies
• A distinct raspberry marble
• Thomas More – Utopia
• Let’s share more and be more kind
• 6 hour work day, I like that
• Oh, it translates to “The Good Place”. That’s funny
• I think we’re at time here
• A great episode of Bake Off
• I like going down these rabbit holes