1462 – Maple’s Grits for Dolly | Checking Into Boredom Ep 4
Tangerine Tangent will take you off to dreamland faster than I can say mixelplix grits.
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Episode 1462 – Maple's Grits for Dolly | Checking Into Boredom Ep 4
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff whatever season it is for you; season of life, seasonings, or seasoned. I don't know what metaphor I was trying to do. It’s the sneezing season here; that’s why, when I’m recording this. That’s always a interesting thing, 'cause everybody’s sneezing…some people don't have a season of sneezing or a sneezing…Sneezing Season; that’s the latest best-seller, I heard. Is it a fictional memoir? Actually a fictional, fictional memoir. What do you mean? It only exists within the mind of a sleep podcaster. So, it’s a fictional…it’s a unwritten…technically it’s a unwritten fictional memoir, but because we know the sleep podcaster so well…he actually has his own in-print, Gingerbread Press. Are you sure it’s not a new indie…? Do they still have indie bands? I don't think they call them that.
I think may…I think that’d be more like an album by somebody, Sneezing Season. Doesn't it…? It does sound like one. There’s something out there similar. But it could be a fictional, fictional memoir, or it could just be a fictional memoir, but that would be just within me. ‘Cause…well, or a…I guess if it only exists within me, then it’s…oh boy, this is just the very beginning of a sleep podcast? Yeah, welcome to Sleep With Me if you're new. Oof, we went off topic early. I don't know, but I think we could all agree, sneezing aside — because I’ll edit any of my sneezing out — sneezing season does not sound bad at all. Experiencing it? I prefer not to, but…so, I’m glad you're here. Welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep versus putting you to sleep directly. The show does take quite some getting used to if you're new, but see how it goes. You got nothing to lose.
I’m here to hang out with you for about an hour, but you don't have to pay attention to me, and there’s no pressure to fall asleep, either. I’m here to be with you in the deep, dark night, maybe bring you some sleepy joy and delight. Sneezy…you know what Sneezy would say, Sneezy joy and delight, or that could be another memoir, Sneezy…Sneezy’s Joy and Delight. Or it could be maybe Sneezy’s Recipe Book? You say, nah, keep Sneezy out of the kitchen. It never worked. First of all, you got the non-sneezing stuff, and then he’s sneezing whether…you know, if you're carrying a tray of cookies and Sneezy sneezes behind you, that’s not good. But also you can't…you never know when Sneezy’s gonna sneeze, except that is reliably happens. I mean, I remember one Thanksgiving we had…Sneezy was holding the turkey.
No…Sneezy was holding the stuffing. No stuffing. Anyway, if you're new to the show…man, this is kinda the content we make, to be honest with you. So, what we got coming up is support — paying for the show is optional — then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then tonight we’ll be cover…we’ll be doing our episodically modular series, Checking Into Boredom. So, I’m glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and if this podcast makes your life so…it’s changed your life so much that you want to support a free podcast, these are the ways…these sponsors, or you could do it directly. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story, eventually. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe, comfortable place, a nice place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things on your mind about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that are just coming up, thoughts about book titles, about imaginary in-prints or…I don't think…we did a episode about ginger…a gingerbread person. I don't think Gingerbread Press ever came up or why that was my imaginary in-print.
Oh yeah, I publish all…I mean, I don't actually…Gingerbread Press would publish all my fiction…fictionally they would publish all my fictional pieces of fiction and fictional non-fiction, but I still have…they all…they've never been…none of it’s ever been produced even within me to be published. My output of titles is…you say prolific…I'm prolific at forgetting the titles of books I make up. But it could be thoughts. I’ll tell you another thing that’s prolific, my thinking at bedtime, or my thoughts, my feelings that come up related to those thoughts. Sometimes they're feelings that are just there. They're prolific and persistent. It could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, seasonal stuff, travel, guests, you could be in the middle of something, going through something, getting over something, maybe you work a different schedule.
Whatever it is, I’m here to try to help, and…by the only way I know how, which is just talking, talk, talk, talking about almost nothing, and keeping you company, but as a mild distraction from all the stuff I just listed. But also at this part of the show I like you to know I really am glad you're here, 'cause I know what it’s like not being able to sleep, and I’ve had on-and-off trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up early, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, all the other stuff, and I know for me it’s not a positive experience and that it’s something that I can't…it’s a bit out of my control and that other people during the day don't quite understand. They always give me the impression that I’m doing it wrong; too much effort, not enough effort, just relax, don't…try…don't forget to close your eyes. Thanks. You trying to sleep with your eyes closed?
Oh, and then if someone asks you that, by the way, just take a breath and answer it, but know that whatever your answer is is probably incorrect. They're gonna give you feedback. I mean, I guess if I was some…this podcast lets me feel a little bit more adjusted, I’d say, hey, by the…I heard you're having trouble sleeping. Let me ask you a question; you sleeping…do you close your eyes when you go to sleep? That’s a great question. What makes you ask that? I’m curious before I answer it. Maybe that’s the best way forward with a question, 'cause what I've found in the past…'cause they might say, do you breathe through your mouth or your nose? Things like that. I’m talking about regular people out there in the world, you know? I say, yeah, I sleep with my…I do try to sleep with my…oh boy, you're…you close your eyes? No, no, no. You gotta try…oh, are you sure they're…? Are you closing them too hard? I mean, it seems like it.
Looking you over, that furrow in your…maybe you're over…are you sure you're not over-closing your eyes or under-closing? But if I would have just asked…oh, the unfortunate thing is I don't ever remember the good ideas I get, necessarily. That’s a great question. What makes you…? Before I answer it, what makes you ask that question? Well, I mean, in my experience with sleeping good every night of my life, I’ve found…I may be a expert at what…I say, okay, great. But what they don't realize is that there is this loneliness, and for me it’s a profound loneliness, even when I’m not alone, even when that someone that cares about me offering inadvertent, not-good advice, that it kinda impacts me. The good news is that if you’ve experienced anything like that or something totally different but non-positive around sleep, it’s shared here.
We have this common, general thing, sleeplessness, or trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up, and we have probably thousands and thousands of different flavors of the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations and everything that comes with it. But a lot of it is non-positive, and there are enough people listening that whatever it is that brought you here, there are other people that share that or share something very similar, and you don't have to breathe or relax, but they are glad you're here and they really hope you do get some relief from this show, or I can introduce you to something else that can help you out. So, yeah, I’m really, really glad you're here, and so are a bunch of other people. Now, the way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing…I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.
So, it means I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, then I go on a tangent. But it’s all to keep you…to be a misdirection from whatever it is that’s keeping you awake and to make bedtime somewhat neutral, maybe even possible so that you no longer have a bedtime you dread. You say, well, at least I got that podcast guy. He’s barely humorous and he’s…sneezing season. He’s gonna keep repeating that, and then…he doesn't judge me on how I…he doesn't have a eye…he doesn't talk to me about his…I mean, I don't even know what to do with that. Are my eyes closed or not when I’m trying to go to sleep? Oh yeah, you gotta hold them open ‘til…then you just close them quick, and then boom, it works. You gotta surprise yourself, surprise close your eyes. I was trying to think of what exactly they would tell me, this imaginary proxy right now. Have you ever written a book? Oh yeah, I was a uncredited writer on Sneezy’s Joyous Delights.
Oh, okay. Great. So, wait, you're saying just close my eyes fast, surprise…? Yeah, it’s called supply…surprise…surprise eye-closure, SEC. Surprise eye-closure, okay. Then boom, you're out. Trust me, it works. It works…for me, it works every…my entire life it’s worked. But you're intentionally closing your eyes, right? Exactly, but it’s a surprise, to my eyes, at least. My eyes don't know. I get what you're trying to say, and I don't appreciate it. But I’m just saying you're…yeah, but my eyes are separate. Okay, no, I guess I…it sounds like it’s working for you. Do you ever say…do you ever pretend like…? It’s kinda like a reverse surprise party, huh? Like, you're turning out the lights and then you're not saying ‘surprise’, but in a sense, that’s what’s happening. Yeah, you're right about that. That would be a good surprise, a reverse…do you think…? I mean, I think the two of us could come to an understanding that that would be a different way of having a surprise party.
You'd have to have a gathering of people with some sort of ruse, and then you'd have the birthday participant there, and then in the middle of the gathering you'd have to make sure there’s…that it’s…nobody’s moving. Then you turn out the lights and you say, surprise. I couldn't do that 'cause I’d fall asleep. Okay, but…that’d be a pretty good…surprise. Okay, I gotta move…surprise; I’m off topic again. So, hopefully the show changes your relationship with bedtime so at least you feel neutral about it, you get the sleep you need and deserve on a regular basis. But when most people get here, this show…you're skeptical, you're doubtful, you have a reasonable expectation of what a sleep podcast might be, and this show’s a bit different or very different than what you expected and what you consider reasonable, and that’s okay. I mean, that’s a pretty…this show’s very different. It does take two or three tries to get used to it.
That’s just what most people that have reviewed the show said; it took me two or three tries to get used to the show. So, give it a few tries and see how it goes. You really have nothing to lose, and I have a website set up, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, so if you discover…yeah, I tried the show two or three tries; it didn't work for me…just go to that website. It has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. Or if you already know…you're like, yeah, I don't think the show’s for me, then check the website out right now. But give it two or three tries. See how it goes. ‘Cause most people have found, yeah, that on the second or third try, they're just like, oh, wait a second, now I realize you are always going nowhere. So, see how that…see how it goes. This is a podcast you don't listen to, but you don't not listen to it, either.
It’s kinda like background noise, an out-of-focus picture, a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow, clouds in the sky, sand passing through your hands, a long, boring lecture, wind in the trees, or just a friend on the phone or across the room talking to you on and on and on about nothing, but in a way…you're like kind of engaged but disengaged at the same time, and that does…that’s something to adjust to. You say, well, I’m gonna only…I can partially listen to the show? Oh, yeah. Also, this is a sleep podcast that I’ve been making for over…well over ten years, and I’m not here to put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show, no expectation. I’m here to the very end of the show whether you're awake or asleep so you don't…the shows are over an hour so you don't have to think about when you're gonna fall asleep. I’m here to keep you company whether you're awake or asleep.
There’s people listening who can't sleep at all, who need a break during the day, who have a different job where they need something to listen to, or waking up in the middle of the night. Whatever it is, I’m here for them and for you so you don't…no pressure to fall asleep. No effort needed. This is just a show with ease. We're just chilling together and…'cause my job’s not…it’s to be your bore-friend, to be here for you, to be your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neighbore, your boreman, your bores, your borebie, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your Boris Borebowski, your big Borebow…no, your Boris Borelaf, Big Borebowski, chairman of the boreds, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just hang out with you while you fall asleep. So, that idea, even though we’ve tried it before on and off throughout all our lives, whether with people or listening to something and repurposing it, having a regular bore-friend is different.
It’s kinda like a sleepover, but this part…this show is before the sleepover…the sleep starts. It’s during the…there’s some giggling going on, post…we're all…maybe we're all chilling out. But yeah, it’s like in that lull in the sleepover but before you fall asleep, after the higher activity, movies or whatever’s goes on in the sleepovers. Yeah, so, that’s what a bore-friend does. I’m just here for you to talk, talk, talk about almost nothing. The one other thing I like to run through for the show is the structure, because I’ve been making the show a long time. This version of the podcast benefits the maximum amount of people it can, but you can adjust how you listen, if you become a regular listener, how you like to listen. But if you're new, this structure can throw you off. So, we start the show out with the greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. Maybe I say something silly so you say, okay, maybe I’ll check the show out.
Then there’s support so that paying for the show is optional. If you get so much out of the show you want to pay for it or you like something without ads, you can do that. But for most people, they prefer this free version of the show. Then after that is a long, meandering intro separate from the support. It’s a show within a show. The intro’s about twenty minutes or so long, sometimes somewhere between fifteen and thirty minutes, but the intro follows a familiar structure every time, but then you…I go off topic. I just said you go off topic about things. You never know. Bore-splainer; that’s one of the people we ran into, and then my…part of my brain that likes to come up with book titles. Again, I’m not…I'm still…I say, man, I like that, Sneezing Season. Maybe that’s already a book. The Season of Sneezing; that’s a little bit different…I’d say that’s probably non-fiction, you know? I mean, it could be Season of…oh, Sneezing a Season…Sneezing a Season. Now it’s also a tongue twister.
Season of Sneezing. Season of Sneezing, though, that’s nice. I can't believe we missed that one. Season of Sneezing sounds more like it’s in some sort of anthology, short story…like maybe mysteries. Season of Sneezing, though, that…you could pretty much do anything with that, just like Sneezing Season. But, you know, anyway. I gotta get…oh, so…oh, the intro goes on and on and on, but I go through similar…every intro is new but a familiar structure; that’s what I was saying. The newness is important because whatever it is for a lot of people that listen to the show…are…whatever keeps us awake is constantly adjusting. So, using something repetitive just doesn't help. But having something to listen to that’s familiar but new every time kinda helps because you say, oh, there’s my bore-friend again going on and on and on about nothing. So, that’s…yeah, that’s what the intro is. But it also is meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep.
So, most people are not in bed listening to the intro. They're getting ready for bed, they're winding down, they're doing some chill activity so that the intro can ease you into bedtime. Now, you could listen, and there is a small percentage of people that fall asleep, but the intro is our kinda community time, like that part of the sleepover, right? So, that…it’s a community get-together time, I guess. So, that’s the intro. It’s like fifteen to twenty minutes long. Then there will be support, then there will be our bedtime story tonight. Yeah, all told, I’ll be here a bit over an hour. If you decide you don't like the intros, we have a version of this podcast called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me with just the stories, but the majority of people…yeah, that’s available at any podcast app, too. But a lot of people like this easing-into-bedtime part. But if you don't, you don't, or if you like to build your playlists with both, you could do that. You could set sleep timers, whatever works. But just see how it goes at first.
Yeah, we’ll be here a bit over an hour, and I love making the show because I know what it’s like, and I know it’s hard, and I know there are people out there like that that are like, well, just close your eyes. Close your eyes, surprise, or whatever. Yeah, just close your eyes quick. That doesn't necessarily…oh, what’s…it never failed me. Probably…I mean, I don't know, maybe you're closing your eyes wrong. I say, okay, let’s…but we all have had someone say something in that general vicinity, right? You must be closing your eyes wrong. Hm, I mean…and then you're like, wait a second, I never thought…am I? That doesn't help either, right? So don't worry about it. We're here together and we get it. I love making the show because of that. You say, yeah, it’s okay. I’m just here to hang out with you, so let’s see how it goes. Myself and a team of people work really hard on this show, and that’s really only important for the people that listen to the show five times a week for two, three, four, five, six, seven years, listen to more than one episode a night. If you're in that group, please consider either supporting one of these sponsors or supporting the show directly so we can be here for you and all the other people that just listen from time to time. Thanks.
Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. Welcome to our episodically modular series, Checking Into Boredom. While the narrator of the story will fill you in on most of the details, this is a story about a bedtime storyteller who works at a chain of hotels called The Hotel, and, yeah, he’s…his job is to tell bedtime stories to the clients of the hotel. But like everything with Sleep With Me, there’s a little bit more going on. These episodes are particularly episodic, which means that…and they're modular, meaning you can listen to them in any order, and while they all exist in the same world, each episode kinda begins and ends…is self-contained as of now…yeah. Yeah, as far as I could tell. Everything…I don't know, this isn't…this could be serialized if Scooter was more competent, but his job is actually to only do one thing; tell bedtime stories and uncover clues.
But you know who I have a clue you'd love to hear from and who I’d love to never bid adieu to, except before I record the show, because his…he does have…is it uncontainable joy? There’s joy leaking out of his pores. I probably said that before, 'cause he doesn't just…he may perspirate…is there a band called Perspiration Joy? Or maybe I could be one of the character…Scooter's future nicknames, Joy Perspiration. Well, that’s different. The joy of perspiration, that could be a long list. He may excrete or…excrete just sounds not good, but perspire…it’s oozing out of you, though, pure joy, except…well, I guess it’s not pure 'cause it’s probably mixed with whatever that…isn’t there stuff called sebum, or is that a part of your…is that part of your…one of your derm…? Is it derm…? If it’s more than one…if a bunch of dermises get together, are they dermi or are they dermises? You know what I’m saying? He shrugged. I wish I had a good dermis-based…I wish I had better derm…is it dermal…?
I’m getting dermal. ‘Cause I was gonna say something…oh, if…epi mean the peak…whether it’s the epi of joy or the epi of dermises…that’s like the top dermis, right? Well, anyway, I wish he packed a thermos that he could drink from silently, 'cause even when he…he doesn't slurp, but he savors. His silent savoring is also loud, but we love him so much 'cause he gives so much. He comes all the way on stored thermal, solar, wind energy. He comes here. So, you know, a long process of that. Not too long, he just said, but he comes here from the…he’s from the Great…he comes all the way from the Greater Los Angeles Area. Do you hail from there? I know long-term…I'm just talking about specifically. Was…? He just shrugged again. He doesn't pretend to know the answer if he doesn't know it.
That’s another thing I like about him. But my favorite thing is that he loves the listeners and he appreciates me, tolerates me; okay, tolerates me. He puts the boots in Puss in Boots. It’s our Hollywood area…Greater Los Angeles Area announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to check into boredom. Ding, bing…Rob has the podcast…a bell. Ring, ring, ringing. So good to be here in your ears and put you to sleep. Thanks, everybody. Yeah. That’s Mr. Antonio Banderas, and this is Checking Into Boredom.
Hello, everyone. I’m your narrator here, and I’ll be doing a bit more narrating tonight. Welcome to…thanks for Checking Into Boredom, which takes place at various hotels run by The Hotel, which is the name of the company that owns the hotels. If you were to look into the history of this company, you'd have a tough time, 'cause…not only 'cause of the generic name, but if you had the ability to do it, you'd see that this company has been around for a long, long time. Some might say it has connections to ancient things, for these hotels are scattered around the world in locations that people visit, but they're usually…they don't spend as long at other places they visit. They don't just…obviously they don't just pass through, and sometimes they may go in these places for just a day trip, but they are interesting places nonetheless. But there’s also something else going on at The Hotel.
In fact, something going on that the employees can no longer speak clearly of, for each hotel sits near or on a…well, in tonight’s episode, actually, a…something like a rift. This one happens to just sit near more than one, not just the one…like an area where worlds kind of intersect. Scooter in the past has referred to it as the transverse plane. This could be a place where you do access the transverse plane, though they're always hidden. But beyond that, there’s activity on the other side of these rifts, much like an analogy of your…times when they split the city of Berlin in two parts, and there was a cool dance-off happening. Something similar is happening with the other world that’s on the other side of the rift in this world, and there’s people checking…there’s…at least in our world, not only is The Hotel in charge, but working for The Hotel is a secret organization. I don't know if they call it the Periodic Table. Maybe that’s already been used. But they are the higher-level agents, I guess we would say.
They would be named after the Periodic Table of Elements, kinda similar to other fictions you may be familiar with with code names or code numbers. But that’s all happening outside of our story, for our story takes place, each episode, at a particular location of The Hotel, featuring the bedtime storyteller employed by The Hotel, who we’ll just say…well, tonight they checked in under the name Tangerine Tangent, which always gets a chuckle out of the employees, since Tangerine Tangent’s stay is comped. Tangerine Tangent doesn't carry…well, Tangerine Tangent is not an agent, so they don't carry multiple IDs. Also, it just makes people giggle when you try to check in to a hotel that you're kind of already checked into, since you somewhat work there. The manager probably said, they're gonna be checking under some name, typically Noir Chardonnay, but they keep saying they're gonna change the name. So they said, oh, Tangerine Tangent, oh, welcome.
Most of the employees giggle, and most of the employees just work at The Hotel, but not the bedtime storyteller. While they're not part of the management or the Periodic Table of Elements, they do get assignments, because not only are they telling a bedtime story to a client that The Hotel has invited to use as service that’s…compliments to the hotel, but you have to be invited. It’s not something that…obviously the…if they were…it’s a exclusive benefit by invite only. But Scooter's secondary job is to discover something happening. The client usually has had some sort of contact, inadvertently or advertently, with the other side of the rift. But Scooter's job is to not let them know that, but to find out clues that more responsible people could put to use. So…but now that the hotel is under a little bit better watch from the other side, they can't communicate directly.
Scooter gets his assignment, and then over what could be an hours-long process with the sundries supervisor, one of the people of The Hotel’s management, they have to sit down and walk Scooter through the who, what, where, when, why. Scooter ideally provides the ‘how’ of the client and all those things. But I’ll walk you through it tonight, 'cause if we did just the conversations where they had to take multiple breaks, where the Sundries Supervisor tried to use subtext and indirect things and metaphors to tell Scooter these simple facts, it would take all day or all night, in your case. But let’s start with the where. Where are we? We're in the Blue Ridge Mountains, part of the Appalachian Mountains, and we're at The Hotel Stone Grove. The Hotel Stone Grove is a stone hotel, or it looks like a giant stone hotel built from boulders and rocks. I believe granite, but I kinda dozed off when I was listening to Scooter and the supervisor talking.
While…within the granite or around the granite is stone and…or wood and steel, the hotel gives you an illusion that it was just…that they…it was almost like it was a pile of boulders that was somehow made into a grand hotel and was…were the boulders already there? It’s a feat of imagination and engineering. It’s beautiful, with a grand lobby and a love of the local foods and then all of the things that are important to the people of the area. In this case, one particular thing in the case of tonight, who is our ‘who’. Who knows if her name is real or not, but she goes by Maple Moritz. She’s a artisanal maker or a bespoke maker of grits. You'll hear a lot more about that as our story unfolds. But she has her own mill not far from the Stone Grove Hotel or the bank, you know, that she works with, depending on how you define it. She has her own buildings other than the mill where she does a lot of the work, and she makes very labor-intensive, small-batch grits. Currently, The Hotel is her only client.
She has some other dreams that Scooter probably will work to uncover for her. But currently, yeah, her grits are served two to three times a day at the restaurants at The Hotel, and they're very…you'd be very interested to try them. But there’s a twist to it, of course, and a twist to the grits themselves, for there is the ‘who’…the ‘what’ is that some element of the grits comes from the other side, and that was what Scooter was brought in for, was she was having…she’s…as a part of her contract, she gets to live at The Hotel, and on the outskirts of some of The Hotel’s property, she gets to use some of that for her production of her grits. Now, she doesn't grow the corn, but she does…definitely uses a few different corns from the area, and each corn offers different properties as part of her recipe, we’ll say, of her…yeah, the grits that she makes. But it wasn't as simple as, oh, which corn could it be that’s coming from the other world? No.
So, they couldn't…The Hotel could not figure it out, and she was having trouble sleeping, so they brought in Scooter to figure out some sort of clue. We don't even have any clue at all. The Hotel’s trying to operate as delicately as possible so that they don't bring any more attention to themselves from the other side, for right now it is a cool dance-off, and whether the other side is aware of The Hotel or not, they want to be very careful. Of course, the good thing is no one would suspect the bedtime storyteller of having any responsibilities as a part of ancient…you know, something to keep our world…say, okay, let’s…keeping a watch on these rifts. So, what is the grits as of right now? Some part of the grits, some ingredient or part of the process comes from the other world, or some sort of…again, outside of our story, test or way they can figure this out. The ‘why’…the who, what, where, when…who, what, where…who, what, where…we covered ‘where’.
What, where, when…right now, but actually, I’m gonna catch you up on some of the story already. Where, when, why…the ‘why’ is…remains a mystery, I think maybe even to the management and the Periodic Table of what is happening. The ‘why’, why…but who, what, where, when, why, how. So, we…I think we have all of those elements in place. But Scooter's been actually working as Tangerine Tangent. He said, you could call me TT. Then he said, but don't get it mixed up with the TT from Pickwick Papers. Maple said, I’m not familiar with any of that. Can't I just call…? Scooter said, yeah. So, first, Scooter did take time, and Scooter knew very little about grits, but he was very excited to see the mill. I guess who wouldn't be, right? A mill runs on water and it’s kind of a cool thing, right? So, first he went to the mill, then he said, okay, well, what about the stones at the mill? Okay, could you get…can you chip off…? That did not work out, of course. He tried to bump into the stones; that didn't work.
He asked about the stones. Then actually, he asked so much about…he said, man…she said, actually, these have other…she actually gave him pieces of the stones, which fit because he liked to rub things in his hand, anyway. She even said, maybe you'll be a little more quiet around here. ‘Cause he would say, oh, I love the sound of the mill running. She’d say, I do, too, when I can hear it. But so, she did give him pieces of both millstones, and he returned those to the management, and they said, no, no, it’s not the millstones. Then he kinda went through the process, step by step, with her. But she was always holding something back, which makes sense, because he was also getting to know her better and her dreams, who she was, how did she get here. But she, of course, was protective of her recipe, and not because…in small-batch grits, it’s a labor of love, or of love of something, right? It might be the grits, it might be the process, it might be the chemistry, it might be the end result.
For her it was the love of something else that led her there, but it was also that the hotel was buying…as soon as they detected the grits and it became to her attention…their attention, they approached her and said, hey, we’d love to have your grits at our hotel, but we prefer to have an exclusive agreement. But we could give you a place to live. We’ll compensate you. We’ll sell…we could sell the grits at the hotel as well. She kind of was like…agreed to it because it was…'cause she had a dream, right? Well, she…anyway, it was…there’s a lot of overhead with these…with running a mill. So, it gave her a little bit more predictability. But she was like, man, I think the hotel is gonna…why would I…? What are they gonna need me for if they figure out all of the ingredients and the grits? But there was something else Scooter detected, too. But Scooter went through the process with her and got to know her better.
I’m not sure which to tell you next, more of Scooter's mistakes or how he got to know her. Some more of his mistakes or just…was…okay, so, you get the corn, then you dry the corn. So, he was like, what about the…the corn is dried on these metal frames, right? What about the metal the corn is dried on? He was positive that was it. If it’s not the millstone, it’s gotta be that. No, it’s not that. Okay, what about the second drying that happens later? Could it be…? No. It ended up…so, these were all a little part of the processes, but he got to know Maple better. Now, Maple was not…she didn't…she wasn’t a part of a family history of grits-making. In fact, her only experience up with grits until she went down this…this became her…until she headed down this path, she was…her first experience with grits was as part of the Camptown Kids, which was an…a youth organization. Now, there’s similar organizations about…Scouts, that’s a little bit gendered, right?
But Camptown Kids actually was…started a long time…not all the way back, but almost predated or started around the same time as these other organizations. But you may…if you're listening to this, you’re like, I never heard of Camptown Kids. Maybe there’s a local version of it. But there was a…yeah, oh yeah, Camptown…oh, she’ll kind of explain it, maybe. Yeah, I guess I could…okay, yeah, so I was doing…we’ll just…I’ll just fill in the relevant conversation she had with Scooter, which was…yeah, I did…that was the first time I ever had grits, was at Camptown Kids Camp. Did you say Camp Camptown Kids Camp? Yeah, it was at Camp Camptown Kids, and it was a camp there. They served grits, and that’s…it’s kind of strange the way things go full circle. But yeah, I loved being in Camptown Kids, and actually…then I went to school to kinda study being as part of a…kind of youth organizations and education, and I was gonna get a job as part of Camptown Kids, but the organization just unfortunately couldn't…it couldn't…it wasn't sustainable.
The fundraising and the funding couldn't keep up. It was only…apparently there was only room for a couple of these youth organizations as far as support goes. More localized versions, but they had taken on…they’d kinda committed to being a national organization, and unfortunately, yeah, they sold off all the stuff to a company that’s sitting on the name and everything. They're not using it, but I loved…I thought my career would be at Camptown Kids, I loved it so much. Also, I’ll be honest; this is…oh, I was saying why does it go full circle? Well, as we're…this was a conversation they were having as they were walking through the different production parts of her grits business. Yeah, you can kinda see these things here. But, well, so, at Camptown Kids we sold peanut brittle instead of cookies or popcorn or whatever. That was another thing; once another organization started selling peanut brittle, then we had to switch to candies, and it just didn't…it didn't do as well.
But when I was a kid, it was peanut brittle. Yeah, we had a song; when Camptown Kids do good, do good, Camptown…it was that song, you know? Camptown Kids sell peanut brittle all the weekend long. Peanut brittle, peanut brittle, Camptown Kids sell peanut brittle. There was other things 'cause it was…but so, there was one year that Dolly got involved, the Dolly. You know what I mean? Not the Dolly…no, not Dolly from the sheep you count at bedtime. The Dolly, yeah, from Dollyland, and beloved, especially where I lived. The person that sold nationwide the most peanut brittle was gonna meet Dolly. She was my heroine. So, I was like, I’m gonna meet Dolly. I sold the most peanut brittle ever. I really…I would go to farmer’s markets, I would sit outside the grocery store. I also would go to the airport. No kids ever thought to go to the airport. This was a different time. But I said, this is perfect for a flight. It’s got everything you need.
Then big hiking events, running, biking, 'cause it was kinda like…it’s like a more tasty version of…this was before the big granola bar boom, too. So anyway, peanut brittle…this particular brittle was really tasty. I know it’s kinda lost its charm. Well, it definitely lost it for me, because I ate a lot of it, too. So, you'd think I’d be in the peanut brittle business. But yeah, so, I was supposed to meet Dolly, and then unfortunately there was a…some sort of guarantee the Camptown Kids organization made to Dolly, and they didn't…it was like…it was not Dolly’s fault, is all I’m saying. But she…they had to cancel it. I was really disappointed. I said, I’m not selling…but I stayed involved. I was like, I’m not selling…now, maybe that also became to me that I was a part of the fall of Camptown Kids, 'cause I was the greatest peanut brittle seller, and I stopped selling peanut brittle. But I was really sad about not meeting Dolly. It’s kinda been something that I’ve dreamed about my whole life.
Then I had…once I…things didn't work out with Camptown Kids, I was teaching, but I was kinda longing for something more. Then I found out about this mill that…I was a little bit detached from a family member, and I thought I was gonna inherit this mill. Unfortunately what I inherited was the bills for the mill and the mill, but…and I also kinda imagined I would live in the mill. Then I got there. Now, the good news was the mill was incredibly…it’s a functional mill. I mean, it’s a beautiful mill, but you can't…it’s not really good for…it’s good for milling things. I’m a practical person, so…and at first this was…it happened to be during…right…this all happened at the end of a school year. So, I spent that entire time off trying to figure out, well, how can I lease this mill to somebody that would grind stuff? How can I make this mill, if I can't live here, work? At first I was…there was a couple…I was able to kind of get by, but I still was like, this is a puzzle I’ve gotta solve.
Then I realized, okay, one of the things you could grind here is corn. Pretty good…and there’s pretty…okay, so then you can grind the corn. Really good corn options. The more the mill’s…as long as the water’s running, the mill’s running, right? So, then I started grinding corn, and I transferred schools, so I was…I was basically working a second job grinding corn and these corn mixes. The corn, yeah, would be used for different things, right? But I started learning more and more about the different corns and the different processes, and then the grits. Then I started learning more about all of the nuances of making grits. Then…and some people were coming here and grinding their grits, and I was learning from them, and they were happy to teach me.
Then I would go and work at…and eventually I left my teaching job and I kind of got to be…I had a few mentors who kinda walked me through their processes and all these different nuances of making grits until I kinda stumbled upon what was working for me. Yeah, and then something kinda magic happened, and The Hotel…I got their attention, and then everything became sustainable. But then it was like this weird thing of like, then my grits became this exclusive thing at The Hotel, which in a sense made them more desirable, but also limited me in a sense. I kinda always felt like, huh, something’s not sitting right with me. But then it ends up that in Dollyland, they're gonna open up…they're trying to appeal to everybody. So, they have a very…now, The Hotel is not running it, but they're opening a really, really nice hotel with a really, really nice restaurant, and they're gonna base it on local cuisines and really people that put their heart and soul into the cuisines.
Every dish, everything they serve is gonna have a story behind it. The chef heard about my grits, and then I talked to the manage…and that’s why…one of the things that’s going on with me is that pretty soon the chef is gonna come and taste my grits. I don't think Dolly’s coming, but if they accept my grits, The Hotel said they’ll work with me and they’ll let me out of my contract, maybe, even, and I’ll be able to sell my grits, or they’ll…I’ll be working…I mean, the chef said Dolly eats at the restaurant and that she’s very great with everybody. So, I may meet Dolly. Yeah, that’s what’s been going on with me. I’m glad to give you my tour of my property, too. So then…this was kind of as they were walking through the different processes by Scooter getting to know her and how you make grits. But then things led to the point where Scooter kept making mistakes, and it was…and he sensed there was something else there.
Of course he kind of knew because he worked for The Hotel, but he was still not sure if her grits from the other world were inadvertent or advertent, right? Like, had she been given something from another world or did she accidentally discover it? But he had a sense. So then she was like, why don't you…why haven't you tried my grits? Let’s go to the restaurant. Scooter said, yeah, why don't you pretend like I’m the chef from Dollywood, Dollyland, and serve me your grits? Now, another thing you should know is that as soon as The Hotel…it was an incredibly convoluted process, but once they knew that her…some elements of her grits came from another world, they would buy all her grits, and then they attempted to replicate her recipe pretty closely and serve that in the restaurant, not her actual grits. They were buying her grits and they were using them sustainably, but they are from another world.
So, the grits in the restaurant, while they were…and the gift shop, while they were her grits, they actually weren't. But then they also had…just in case she was gonna eat at the restaurant and try her own grits, they had them ready if she was gonna check up on the chef or whatever, because The Hotel is pretty well…even convoluted…I mean, if they can handle Scooter, they can handle something like this. But this particular day, she went to the kitchen in a off hour, and she prepared her grits. She was gonna do this grit progression for Scooter. He discussed it with management in a indirect way, but it was like, I’m gonna try the real grits. I’m sure it’ll be fine, but I think this is something that needs to happen, 'cause I have to earn…we still haven't got to the bottom of this. We still don't know if this is…she’s had contact with the other world intentionally or they intentionally reached out to her, or this is just something drifting in even on the wind.
So, he went to eat her grits and have her grits progression. Now, he made a pretty big error, because she kind of was serving him a progression of different preparations and different mixes, and he was supposed to eat them in order as they were presented to them. But as soon as he…while she was kinda pretending he was the chef from Dollyland, Scooter forgot the role he was playing and then asked for butter, brown sugar. What do you even put in savory grits? Do I eat the savory…? She was not pleased with him. He was supposed to be being of service and taking the grits as she prepared them, since she was the chef and the producer or the kinda…whatever you call it, the creator of the grits. She was very unpleased with Scooter. In fact, she cancelled the tasting and she said, you need to do more…you need to learn the history of grits if we're ever gonna work together again. Now, Scooter took this as a…actually like, maybe a clue.
So, then he went to the local library and he asked about the history of what goes into producing grits. But he went a little bit back…he went all the way back in history to back when the continents were a little bit more flowing and the actual production of the Blue Ridge Mountains and the creation of them, and that at one point they were very, very high, and then they…parts of them slowly wore down over time, how at one point they were connected to these other parts of the world so far away now. He started to think about the elements of…okay, so how is this connected to the grits, and how…is this a clue? He started to think about the water. ‘Cause they had thought maybe the water…it couldn't be a way that the water flowing…but he was also…even though he had been figuratively knee-deep in grits now for weeks, he actually didn't even know the difference between grits and hominy grits, right, and the connection…and so, this is the only time he kinda stumbled on this.
Now, he had also been given a…he always wanted a gadget just like other agents would get, he imagined. So, at this hotel they had given him a bottle of water, but not just any water. Again, this was an area with love of these traditions and people returning to these traditions or rediscovering them. This hotel had a water menu, which some people might think is posh, and I guess it is posh if it’s…depending on the price, which at The Hotel, it’s posh. But if you were to go to some other place where it wasn't posh, and to be able to taste waters from different springs and different sources, it would be a pretty cool experience. So, his was a local artisanal spring water in a water bottle that was a reusable water bottle, but definitely posh. But he hadn't opened it 'cause he was figuring it was some sign…some kind of gadget, or he would have some sort of practical use for it. Then finally when he did the history, he was thinking of the seas.
He was like, it’s gotta be the water that the grits soak in, because she’s just not making grits; she’s making grits as a part of this word he couldn't pronounce, similar to hominy, which has another word. But he was calling it mixelplix grits, but it was…not sure I can say the word; nix…it’s a way of producing things by soaking the grits in a certain type of water. He only…he didn't quite get any deeper than that. So, then he went with…but his water…he’s like, huh, wait a second. So, he went to the back…to her thing and said, hey, our…eventually he made an apology, right? Then he said, is it…? I see you have different types of corn, including different colors of corn, soaking in different bins or stills, they would say. They said, where is the water in each of these stills from? Then she said, oh, you've been doing your history a little bit, huh? He said, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, yeah, I could see you got that artisanal water there. We don't use that one.
But yeah, we actually use…it’s not straight from the stream here. We’ll use stream water and we use the spring water. Now, of course Scooter…he’s good at gathering clues, but he also gathers other things. So, then he was like, okay, which one’s which? She again described some of the process, but she left some of it out. But she did say one is river…water from that river, and the other is a local spring water, not the same as the one he had. But she didn't want to share that 'cause she just said, yeah, I don't know about…Scooter knew she didn't quite trust The Hotel, but he thought that it was…he knew something else was going on. So, then what happened was that Scooter, of course, waited…hey, could you go…? Whatever, waited for the phone to ring or something, poured out his water, filled it from the…he did wash his hands, just so you know, really well, 'cause he didn't want to contaminate the grits, and he washed the outside of his water bottle, and actually used…they have some sort of sampling ladle.
So, he took the water that the grits…the liquid, by the way, that the grits were soaking in, poured it in his bottle from the one that was from the spring, then went to the spring, got a different water, filled it with…or went to the stream, then he’s like, I got the clues; case closed. Then he went back and they said, okay, first of all, the river water not…is all from planet Earth, our world. The water…other water, it’s not just water. There’s something else in it, but it’s all from planet Earth. But we think you're onto something accidentally, maybe. So, did you get…where did you…? He said, well, one I got from the stream, 'cause she said she uses stream water. The other one she gets from a spring, but she wouldn't tell me the spring. But I…so, I just took it from the vat. Then the hotel management, obviously over a series of hours, explained to him, okay, so, the water from the vat has other ingredients in there, but all of them are from planet Earth.
But the other vat had river water and maybe other ingredients, too, and you took it from the river…or the stream instead of the vat. But it doesn't even…you gotta find out…maybe that vat has…but you need to find out what the other ingredients are. Scooter said, there’s no other ingredients. It’s corn. It’s the process. They said, yeah, so, figure out what part of the process you're missing. Actually, they said, do your history, 'cause they were starting to get frustrated with him as well. So, he went back to her, and then again, he was talking to her about the history, and he had read more up about Pangaea. She said, you did the wrong history. He said, oh. He said, well, listen, I’m trying to help you with this bedtime story. I know something else is going on with you, but I’d love to know more about this history. It sounds really important to you.
She explained to him kinda how this process of grits is not just magical 'cause of the history of the Earth, but also the history of the peoples of the Earth, that this is this tech…food technology that is indigenous, and that somehow it made its way all the way from south, in Mexico, to up here, even though it’s used in different ways and different ways that…she’s like, this was this human discovery, but in almost a evolutionary way, that people were eating corn but not getting everything they needed, and that they figured out this way of processing that you, Scooter, call mixeplixic…she explained to him the proper way to term…that the technology developed different in the area now known as Mexico, and that how here it developed in a different way. He was like, what? She goes, yeah. He goes, well, can you tell me…? Then she goes, yeah, I’ll take you out. Remember all the smells of burnt wood? She goes, well, here we use basically burnt wood.
She’s like, for your…to explain it to you. She goes, but in Mexico they use burnt limestone, more or less. She said, don't ask too many questions, Scooter. She goes, so that’s part of my process, is that I use different waters and then different alkalines based in two different kinda traditions and different corns, and then I combine everything together. Scooter's like, well, that’s…he was amazed, 'cause he’s like, this is like a bedtime story. He goes, I think I could tell you a bedtime story, but I don't know if it’ll be as good as your real story. She goes, well, what do you mean? He goes, well…he goes, walk me through all the stages of the process. So, she did…and that the wood ash was combined with the spring water, who…she did tell him, okay, it’s this limestone spring, and that it goes through this limestone spring. Then she’s like…whatever. She’s like, so…yeah, she goes, that’s this and this particular corn. So, it creates all these flavors.
Then she goes, but it’s also all these different chemistries and organic things happening, and the magic. She goes, and then the magic here is that it’s river water, which is more loamy. It’s going through these wooded areas and it’s been in contact with leaves and mud. Normally people…on its own it might be a different flavor, but she goes, then I choose a corn. Then she goes, and then I have this limestone, and that all comes together with this one. Then he kinda knew…I mean, surprisingly but innately; oh, it’s limestone. He’s like, what if your story is like…he goes, what if this is like a bedtime story and we're in it right now? She goes, what do you mean? He goes, well, what if you've…he goes, this is so impressive. I can only imagine Dolly hearing the story. But he goes…he goes…Scooter goes, it’s in the specifics, right? She goes, what do you mean? Scooter goes, okay, this is what’s important, and this is maybe what would…that The Hotel didn't get enough from you.
Maybe it’s not that The Hotel’s trying to take your recipe; it’s that they're not leaning into all of the specifics. He goes…she goes, what do you mean? He goes, okay, this is a story. This is what Dolly and the people dining with Dolly would want to hear, of all of this. Imagine you're presenting this just like on these shows. She goes, oh, I don't watch the cooking shows. Scooter's like, well, you should, because then you could tell the tale of the water, of the history of the Earth, and of this technology, or you could work with them to tell this story. He goes, well, where’s the wood from? She told him. Then he said, where’s…? Okay, so, we know where the water’s from and where the corn is from and who made the corn and the process of making the corn. You could chart the path of this water for this stream and your mill and the history of your mill, and this corn. Then he goes, and then where’s the limestone from? That’s where she kinda hesitated and kinda was aloof about it.
Scooter said, okay, what if Dolly had a favorite limestone? I think there’s probably limestone used in some of the construction, or a favorite lime…she goes, what do you mean? Scooter goes, why can't you change the recipe a little bit? She goes, it’ll lose the magic. He goes, no, no, no, this is a bedtime story about magical Maple and her grits mix. I think that you find this…that must be the missing piece, is the limestone, and you find the limestone that’s connected to something in Dolly’s history. That’s your one opening still. You use that limestone as a part of this last piece, 'cause how different…how magical could be the limestone you're using be? Or if you don't know that much about it, maybe it’s not that magical. Maybe someone’s just…it’s not part of the story. Maybe you could just edit the story.
She was like, well, I’m not sure, and I’m not sure you're…and I said, well, if…I said, I’ll tell you what; I’m pretty sure that it makes a good bedtime story, and that if I was working with Dolly and I heard…and the last piece that’s different from the hotel’s grits that we're moving away from now…when I’m making these grits, the last piece will be this…that we're using this limestone. Why don't you see what happens? Then he could taste those grits and the hotel’s grits. That’s what ended up happening. But Scooter also knew one last piece, was that the hotel grits were fake, a fake version of her grits, anyway. So, when the chef from Dolly’s restaurant and his staff came and sampled the grits, first she said, this…these are the grits I’ve been preparing for The Hotel. I knew I’ve been…I'm in an exclusive contract with them, and they're really good. The chef is like, yeah, these are pretty…these are good. Wow, these are great. She goes, but I didn't think that was good enough for Dolly.
I think it needed one more piece to the story, which was her own independence from this other world. She said, so, I’ve sourced this limestone, and this is the first batch I made with the limestone, but it’s from this area that’s really important to Dollyland and Dolly. I found this place where I could get it, and so, this is the first batch I made with it. But that’s what’s different. I think it does add a little bit slight difference as a part of the nixum mix…nix…I can't say it. But it’s part of the hominy process, but it’s different. They were like, we love this story. Then the contrast between her new, real grits and The Hotel’s counterfeit grits, in a sense…they were like, we’d love to work with you exclusively as…it’d be a part of Dolly’s team. We think your approach to this is just…we know you have a background in education. We think that you could really do a lot for Dollyland, and Dolly would love to meet you. She’s really hands on.
So, she was able to transition away from not just The Hotel, but from this limestone. Now, it wasn't Scooter's job to figure out how the limestone was getting to her or who it was, but that was the clue that Scooter was supposed to do. So, he did his job as well, figuring out that the piece from the other world was limestone, but it was also the piece that could get her connected to Dolly and help find the next stage of her dreams, and that it’s just amazing that there’s this ancient food technology that runs down this entire combination of continents. Pretty amazing. Thanks and goodnight, everybody.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
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Checking Into Boredom / Episodically Modular Series
Spring Allergies
https://www.columbiadoctors.org/news/allergy-season-always-here
https://www.socalallergy.com/blog/seasonal-allergies-causes-and-treatment/
Omni Grove Park Inn
https://www.historichotels.org/us/hotels-resorts/omni-grove-park-inn/history.php
https://www.ourstate.com/sparks-of-inspiration-at-the-omni-grove-park-inn/
Grits
https://tnmuseum.org/Stories/posts/grit-history-a-comfort-food-loaded-with-strife
https://medium.com/@kourtneynicolewrites/the-hood-dictionary-g-stands-for-grits-924231e39a27
Nixtamalization
https://www.thekitchn.com/what-is-nixtamalization-23509956
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Whatever season it is for you
It’s the sneezing season here
That’s an unwritten fictional memoir from Gingerbread Press
Or maybe an album from an indie band
Sneezing Season sounds a lot better than it is
PLUGS
Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Talkiatry; AquaTru; DripDrop
INTRO
We do it with a bedtime story (potentially)
Thoughts about book titles or imaginary imprints
I can’t believe Gingerbread Press didn’t come out when we did that episode about a gingerbread person
I’m prolific at forgetting the titles of books that I make up
My thoughts are prolific and persistent
The only way I know how to help is to talk, talk, talk about almost nothing
“Helpful” sleep advice
Are you sure you’re not closing your eyes too hard?
Overclosing your Eyes
Inadvertent Not Good Advice still has an impact
If you’re impacted around sleep, we share that experience here
Thousands of flavors of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations
Other listeners are glad you’re here
At least I got that podcast guy
Surprise Close Your Eyes
I was an uncredited writer on Sneezy’s Joyous Delights
Surprise Eye Closure (SEC)
An intentional surprise
It’s kind of like a reverse surprise party
Could there be a delayed surprise party where you turn off the lights?
Give it a few tries and see how it goes
sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
You can definitely only partially listen to the show
My job is just to be your borefriend
Boris Borebowski
Big Borebowski
I talk talk talk so you can listen
Explaining the show structure
Sneeze in a Season
Season of Sneezin’
That sounds like a story from an anthology
Community Get Together Time
STORY
Welcome to Checking Into Boredom
A resident bedtime storyteller at a chain hotel called The Hotel
So far it’s pretty self-contained
It could be serialized if Scooter were more confident
Antonio Banderas’s introduction
There’s joy leaking out of his pores
Perspiration Joy
If a bunch of dermis get together, are they dermi or dermises?
Getting Dermal
Antonio’s silent savoring is also loud
He travels on stored thermal wind energy
Antonio, do you hail from the Greater Los Angeles area?
He loves the listener and tolerates me
Narrator is here
Welcome to Checking Into Boredom
The Hotel is the name of the company that owns these hotels
This company has been around for a long time
There’s a rift
Perhaps this could be a place where you access the Transverse Plane
Like when they split Berlin during the Cool Danceoff
There’s something else happening on the other side of this rift
The secret organization, The Period Table
But that doesn’t really connect to our story
Tonight, our storyteller is going by Tangerine Tangent
That name makes the staff giggle
Scooter’s job is to inadvertently find evidence
The clients have accidentally had contact with someone through the rift
Scooter gets some very sly instructions
Getting the 5 Ws
If we did just the conversations between Scooter and the Sundries Supervisor, we’d be here all day
Where: Blue Ridge Mountains
Hotel Stone Grove
It’s a true feat of engineering
Who: Maple Moritz
Bespoke Maker of Grits
She’s got her own mill
Labor-intensive, small batch grits
The Hotel is her only client at the moment
She gets to live at The Hotel as part of her contract
She grows different kinds of corn
No one would expect that a bedtime storyteller has any responsibility re: rifts
What: the grits (and the rift)
When: right now
Why: this remains a mystery
No one quite knows what’s happening
Scooter’s already been working as Tangerine Tangent
You can call him TT
First, Scooter knew very little about grits
Checking out the grits mill
What about the stones at the mill? That’s nothing
She gave him a small stone to rub in his hands
She’s protective of her grits recipe
A labor of love of something
A love of something else…
The hotel contract helps with her overhead
Scooter detects something else
Scooter went through the process and got to know Maple better
You get the corn, then you dry it
What about the metal that the corn is dried on?
What about the 2nd drying?
Maple didn’t have a family history of grits-making
Maple had been a part of the Camptown Kids
Like scouts, but not as gendered
Maple hops in to explain the Camptown Kids
The first time I ever had grits
At Camp Camptown Kids Camp
Maple was gonna get a job at the camp
But the organization wasn’t sustainable
They sold peanut brittle to fundraise
But then another camp started selling that too, so we had to switch
We had a “Camptown Races” parody song
And one year, Dolly Parton got involved
Whoever sold the most peanut brittle would get to meet Dolly
I sold peanut brittle everywhere. Even the airport
This was before Big Granola took over
I sold the most peanut brittle, but my meetup with Dolly got canceled
That was the beginning of the end of Camptown Kids
I was longing for something more
Then I found out about the mill
I inherited this mill. Well, mostly the bills for the mill
It’s good for milling, not for living
I’m a practical person
And I realized you could grind corn here
I learned all about grits and eventually left my teaching job
The nuances of making grits
I stumbled upon what worked for me
Then it all became sustainable over time
The grits became this exclusive thing at The Hotel
That was nice but also didn’t sit right with me
Dollyland is opening a really nice hotel and restaurant based on local cuisines
I submitted my grits to this restaurant
If they’re chosen, The Hotel said they’ll let me out of my exclusivity contract
I may finally meet Dolly
Scooter has a sense
Where did this grit knowledge really come from?
Let’s pretend that Scooter is the Dollyland chef
The Hotel is trying to replicate Maple’s recipe
These grits are from another world
Eating a flight of grits
Scooter forgot the role he was playing
What do you even put in savory grits?
Maple didn’t appreciate that
He was supposed to be of service to her
She was very unpleased, and she canceled the tasting
Scooter needs to learn about the history of grits production
He went all the way back into history
The creation of the Blue Ridge Mountains
How is this connected to grits?
Is it the water?Grits vs Hominy Grits
This hotel also has a water menu
Tasting waters from different springs
Local, artisanal spring water
He assumed it’s a gadget, but it’s just water
It must be the water that she’s soaking the grits in!
Mixelplix Grits
Where is the soaking water coming from?
It’s a mix of stream water and spring waterShe won’t share the exact location of the water
He gets her to leave the room
Then he steals some of the water
Something else is in this water
Scooter asks Maple about the water
Sundries Supervisor explains more about the water
Maybe that vat of water has another ingredient in it
It’s just the process!
Do your history, Scoots
Scooter studied the wrong history
Something else is going on with Maple
It’s also about the history of the peoples of the Earth
A real human discovery
In US, they burn wood
In Mexico, they use burnt limestone for Mixelplix Grits
Maple bridges mixelplix tradiiions
The wood ash goes through a limestone spring
Blending Traditions
What if we’re in a bedtime story right now?
Maybe the Hotel just isn’t leaning into all of the specifics
This is a story that Dolly would want to hear
Telling a tale of water and earth and technology
What if Dolly had a favorite limestone?
This is a bedtime story about Magical Maple and her Grits Mix
You find limestone connected to Dolly’s history
You could add this to Dolly’s grits
And that’s what happened
She showed Dolly’s chef an exclusive grits recipe for Dolly
Limestone from Pigeon Forge
He offers Maple a job on Dolly’s team
And so she was able to transition away from The Hotel and the Limestone
And she got to meet Dolly
The piece from the other world was limestone
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1462
Title: Maple's Grits for Dolly | Checking Into Boredom Ep 4
Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Talkiatry; AquaTru; DripDrop
Notable Language:
- Sneezing Season
- Fictional Fictional Memoir
- Prolific and Persistent
- Talk, Talk, Talk about Almost Nothing
- Overclosing your Eyes
- Inadvertent Not Good Advice
- Surprise Close Your Eyes
- Surprise Eye Closure (SEC)
- Big Borebowski
- Boris Borebowski
- Sneeze in a Season
- Season of Sneezin’
- Perspiration Joy
- Getting Dermal
- Tangerine Tangent
- Camptown Kids
- Mixelplix Grits
- Nixtamalization
Notable Culture:
-
- Gingerbread Press
- Sneezy’s Joyous Delights (a book)
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- The Big Lebowski
-
- Checking Into Boredom
- Puss In Boots
-
- Antonio Banderas
- Rob Has A Podcast
- Camptown Kids
- “Camptown Races” song
- Dolly Parton
- Dollywood
- Blue Ridge Mountains
Notable Talking Points:
- We do it with a bedtime story (potentially)
- Thoughts about book titles or imaginary imprints
- I can’t believe Gingerbread Press didn’t come out when we did that episode about a gingerbread person
- I’m prolific at forgetting the titles of books that I make up
- My thoughts are prolific and persistent
- The only way I know how to help is to talk, talk, talk about almost nothing
- “Helpful” sleep advice
- Are you sure you’re not closing your eyes too hard?
- Overclosing your Eyes
- Inadvertent Not Good Advice still has an impact
- If you’re impacted around sleep, we share that experience here
- Thousands of flavors of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations
- Other listeners are glad you’re here
- At least I got that podcast guy
- Surprise Close Your Eyes
- I was an uncredited writer on Sneezy’s Joyous Delights
- Surprise Eye Closure (SEC)
- An intentional surprise
- It’s kind of like a reverse surprise party
- Could there be a delayed surprise party where you turn off the lights?
- Give it a few tries and see how it goes
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- You can definitely only partially listen to the show
- My job is just to be your borefriend
- Boris Borebowski
- Big Borebowski
- I talk talk talk so you can listen
- Explaining the show structure
- Sneeze in a Season
- Season of Sneezin’
- That sounds like a story from an anthology
- Community Get Together Time
- Welcome to Checking Into Boredom
- A resident bedtime storyteller at a chain hotel called The Hotel
- So far it’s pretty self-contained
- It could be serialized if Scooter were more confident
- Antonio Banderas’s introduction
- There’s joy leaking out of his pores
- Perspiration Joy
- If a bunch of dermis get together, are they dermi or dermises?
- Getting Dermal
- Antonio’s silent savoring is also loud
- He travels on stored thermal wind energy
- Antonio, do you hail from the Greater Los Angeles area?
- He loves the listener and tolerates me
- Narrator is here
- Welcome to Checking Into Boredom
- The Hotel is the name of the company that owns these hotels
- This company has been around for a long time
- There’s a rift
- Perhaps this could be a place where you access the Transverse Plane
- Like when they split Berlin during the Cool Danceoff
- There’s something else happening on the other side of this rift
- The secret organization, The Period Table
- But that doesn’t really connect to our story
- Tonight, our storyteller is going by Tangerine Tangent
- That name makes the staff giggle
- Scooter’s job is to inadvertently find evidence
- The clients have accidentally had contact with someone through the rift
- Scooter gets some very sly instructions
- Getting the 5 Ws
- If we did just the conversations between Scooter and the Sundries Supervisor, we’d be here all day
- Where: Blue Ridge Mountains
- Hotel Stone Grove
- It’s a true feat of engineering
- Who: Maple Moritz
- Bespoke Maker of Grits
- She’s got her own mill
- Labor-intensive, small batch grits
- The Hotel is her only client at the moment
- She gets to live at The Hotel as part of her contract
- She grows different kinds of corn
- No one would expect that a bedtime storyteller has any responsibility re: rifts
- What: the grits (and the rift)
- When: right now
- Why: this remains a mystery
- No one quite knows what’s happening
- Scooter’s already been working as Tangerine Tangent
- You can call him TT
- First, Scooter knew very little about grits
- Checking out the grits mill
- What about the stones at the mill? That’s nothing
- She gave him a small stone to rub in his hands
- She’s protective of her grits recipe
- A labor of love of something
- A love of something else…
- The hotel contract helps with her overhead
- Scooter detects something else
- Scooter went through the process and got to know Maple better
- You get the corn, then you dry it
- What about the metal that the corn is dried on?
- What about the 2nd drying?
- Maple didn’t have a family history of grits-making
- Maple had been a part of the Camptown Kids
- Like scouts, but not as gendered
- Maple hops in to explain the Camptown Kids
- The first time I ever had grits
- At Camp Camptown Kids Camp
- Maple was gonna get a job at the camp
- But the organization wasn’t sustainable
- They sold peanut brittle to fundraise
- But then another camp started selling that too, so we had to switch
- We had a “Camptown Races” parody song
- And one year, Dolly Parton got involved
- Whoever sold the most peanut brittle would get to meet Dolly
- I sold peanut brittle everywhere. Even the airport
- This was before Big Granola took over
- I sold the most peanut brittle, but my meetup with Dolly got canceled
- That was the beginning of the end of Camptown Kids
- I was longing for something more
- Then I found out about the mill
- I inherited this mill. Well, mostly the bills for the mill
- It’s good for milling, not for living
- I’m a practical person
- And I realized you could grind corn here
- I learned all about grits and eventually left my teaching job
- The nuances of making grits
- I stumbled upon what worked for me
- Then it all became sustainable over time
- The grits became this exclusive thing at The Hotel
- That was nice but also didn’t sit right with me
- Dollyland is opening a really nice hotel and restaurant based on local cuisines
- I submitted my grits to this restaurant
- If they’re chosen, The Hotel said they’ll let me out of my exclusivity contract
- I may finally meet Dolly
- Scooter has a sense
- Where did this grit knowledge really come from?
- Let’s pretend that Scooter is the Dollyland chef
- The Hotel is trying to replicate Maple’s recipe
- These grits are from another world
- Eating a flight of grits
- Scooter forgot the role he was playing
- What do you even put in savory grits?
- Maple didn’t appreciate that
- He was supposed to be of service to her
- She was very unpleased, and she canceled the tasting
- Scooter needs to learn about the history of grits production
- He went all the way back into history
- The creation of the Blue Ridge Mountains
- How is this connected to grits?
Is it the water? - Grits vs Hominy Grits
- This hotel also has a water menu
- Tasting waters from different springs
- Local, artisanal spring water
- He assumed it’s a gadget, but it’s just water
- It must be the water that she’s soaking the grits in!
- Mixelplix Grits
- Where is the soaking water coming from?
It’s a mix of stream water and spring water - She won’t share the exact location of the water
- He gets her to leave the room
- Then he steals some of the water
- Something else is in this water
- Scooter asks Maple about the water
- Sundries Supervisor explains more about the water
- Maybe that vat of water has another ingredient in it
- It’s just the process!
- Do your history, Scoots
- Scooter studied the wrong history
- Something else is going on with Maple
- It’s also about the history of the peoples of the Earth
- A real human discovery
- In US, they burn wood
- In Mexico, they use burnt limestone for Mixelplix Grits
- Maple bridges mixelplix tradiiions
- The wood ash goes through a limestone spring
- Blending Traditions
- What if we’re in a bedtime story right now?
- Maybe the Hotel just isn’t leaning into all of the specifics
- This is a story that Dolly would want to hear
- Telling a tale of water and earth and technology
- What if Dolly had a favorite limestone?
- This is a bedtime story about Magical Maple and her Grits Mix
- You find limestone connected to Dolly’s history
- You could add this to Dolly’s grits
- And that’s what happened
- She showed Dolly’s chef an exclusive grits recipe for Dolly
- Limestone from Pigeon Forge
- He offers Maple a job on Dolly’s team
- And so she was able to transition away from The Hotel and the Limestone
- And she got to meet Dolly
- The piece from the other world was limestone
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