1459 – Infinite Space for Dodes | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 6
Scoots will shuffer you off to dreamland with a few stories that map the stellar cartography of good sleep.
These stories have been sleepified, but they do sometimes touch on more serious subject matter. These episodes may not be sleepy for all listeners.
These stories are from the collection Nothing Works, Everything Happens by Aiyas Aya. This episode includes the stories “Toadeater,” “Space Junk: Part II”, and “Infinite Potential: Part III.”
The book is out now on e-book, paperback, and hardback. Learn more at aiyasaya.com
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Episode 1459 – Infinite Space for Dodes | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 6
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for me to take you on a couple different meandering journeys. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and maybe bring you some sleepy joy and delight. If you're new here, I’m so glad you're here. You are so welcome, and I hope the show can help you out…or you're coming back to this podcast whenever you need it 'cause you know you could count on it, I’m glad you're here, or if you listen night after night after night. My job is to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company, to fall asleep…or so you could fall asleep. This show is a bit different if you're new. It does take a couple tries to get used to the idea that I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m just here to be your friend in the deep, dark night and talk to you.
It might take me another twenty minutes to even tell a bedtime story. But this show is…I don't even know how to describe it. I’m at a loss for words. The only podcast where he’s at a loss for words but he keeps talking. Oh boy, does he. So, I’m glad you're here, and what we got coming up…let me explain that to you if…just in case if you're new. We got some support; it doesn't apply to new listeners. It’s just for people that benefit from the podcast, that their lives are greatly changed, but it allows us to be here for everybody that needs it. Then there’s a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then tonight we’ll be reading some stories from Nothing Works, Everything Happens, and all told we’ll be here about an hour. So, see how it goes if you're new. If you're coming back, welcome back, and if you're here nightly and this podcast has changed your life, it’s made your relationship with sleep better and you'd miss the show if you were gone, or if…or if we were gone, please consider supporting one of these sponsors or the show directly. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that…all my thoughts seem reasonable. I don't know if that’s…they are so…I'm not good at convincing people of things, but my thoughts are good at convincing me of things. Is that…? Does anybody else…is anybody else kind of nodding your head? I’ve never been able to quite put that into words.
Some of the greatest salespeople…as far as selling me realities or takes on reality…my thoughts are…they do combine with my feelings and they're really convincing, and they sound so reasonable. Even at bed…they said, you know what? This is the perfect time to talk about this. I say, well, I just turned out the lights and I just…did you notice I’m doing the thing with my pillow where I held one pillow in my arm and then I put one pillow over my head, then I change it up, then I change it back? That means it’s probably…oh no, this is a great time. I just want…we’ve got some things to discuss with you, and I think you're really gonna want to listen. I really…and I say, wait a second…and the next thing you know I’m thinking about stuff or about the thoughts…what do you call it? Future, past…and it could be feelings, too. It might not just be those thoughts. It may be emotions related to those thoughts for me or maybe for you.
It could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, and a lot of people listen because they're going through something, something just is going on, they're getting over something, they're in the middle of something, you have something coming up or you're traveling or you're a guest or you have guests, or your work schedule is different than most people’s and not as conducive to sleep, or your work schedule changed. Whatever it is, the only reason I run through some of that stuff is so you get the sense you might be in the right place, a place where you're welcome, a place where whatever brought you here is welcome and indirectly embraced, just…embraced in whatever you're comfortable with. I do mean that. Even if you want to approach this podcast at a far distance slowly, there are listeners with open arms. Even if you just prefer to see people with open arms…they're waving gently. That’s my preference.
They say, okay, Scoots, what is your…? Let’s talk about some intimacy things. I say, okay, waving at a distance. So, I like to establish…oh, interesting. First…this was many different European institutes I visited, and unfortunately they got me mixed up with somebody else, 'cause I think it was…they said, we never realized that so much…and I say, come on, you're just saying that to placate me. So much emotion could be said in a wave and a glance. I’d say, yeah, yeah, I do believe that, and I honestly do, that there’s listeners waving to you or giving some other subtle sign that you are welcome here, that we are glad you're here, and that everyone that’s here has had some sort of interesting relationship with sleep and bedtime, to put it mildly. If your relationship with sleep or the night or the day is interesting or somewhat complicated, we are glad you're here. I might…I think I can relate to some of what it might feel like for you, but maybe I can't.
But the good news is that some of those people waving, some of those people smiling at you…we also have a couple other traditions maybe I’ll remember about; kissing our biceps or…I used to tell people…I used to kiss my shoulders, but then I realized that’s a little bit more…takes less flexibility…at bedtime kissing your biceps…my biceps, we bring them…I bring them to myself. But if they were speaking in the first person, I don't know if they’d say, we bring them to you. But if they were a tagline…so, yeah, some people are kissing their biceps, or…this one may sound strange, but it’s also…it’s only an exercise within our minds except…dipping our elbows in milk or milk alternatives. I don't know…I have no idea why that started, but it’s a thing that no one does, but we all imagine…oh boy, dipping my elbow…what temperature is your milk? Well, I would…if I was giving it a temperature, I would say it’s tepid, but I don't like to refer to milk temperatures as tepid at all.
When you say tepid, what do you mean? I mean slightly warmer — and in a good way — than room temperature. Yeah, I’d say it’s pretty nice. That’s why I’m dipping my…so you, as a sleep podcaster, recommend dipping your elbows in milk as some sort of welcoming ritual to your listeners? I wouldn't…I’d say it’s a…it’s a gesture. It’s a little bit of self-soothing. It’s a little bit…I wouldn't say it’s mystical, but if people are doing it, people are mystified by it. It’s kinda silly and fun, especially if you're not doing it. But actually imagining yourself doing it and other people’s reactions is really where the good stuff starts to happen. Then the idea that across the globe, people that understand what brought you here are symbolically dipping their elbows in milk as a form…or kissing their biceps. Again, you could really…that one I highly recommend actually doing gently. But you can really lay some good smooches on your…I even say, how’d you get so soft there, my old inner arm?
Say, please, don't call me old inner arm. Just call me inner…okay. I actually prefer bicep even though technically I’m not the…okay. How about I just give you another big smoochy-poo? People around the world are doing that as a way of welcoming you here by way of saying we’re rooting for you, we're glad you're here, and we hope the show can help you out, because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place where you feel comfortable and a little bit silly, where you could participate in these things. Don't dip…if you're gonna dip your elbows in milk, kiss your bicep first, and then…I would do them as two separate process…I mean, at least for me, 'cause I’m clumsy. You know what they say about the old milk-dipping saucers or whatever? Keep them out of the bed…you know, keep your…don’t…keep your bed for…don't do any milk-dipping in bed, 'cause…believe me. Some things I am an expert at. Making these kind of mistakes is one of them.
Okay, let me try to get back to…what was I trying…? Oh, that you're welcome here. You deserve a good night's sleep where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, or you could get the rest you need on a regular basis so that bedtime is something you don't dread anymore, that you look forward to or at least feel neutral about. Ideally you start getting the rest you need on a regular basis and you could be out there in the world flourishing. That means our world’s a better place with you in it, flourishing. So, I hope you know that you're welcome here and that there’s people rooting for you, sending you kindness either directly or indirectly, through…sending kindness through silly means is one of the main tenants of Sleep With Me, really. Man, who knew…? We all knew…that would be the kind of thing…it may be a better…they’d say, we all…who knew that a kind wave and a smile could do so much? But we all knew it.
I honestly believe that, that a kind smile and wave…that things like kissing your biceps and doing it for fun, for yourself, and for other people, or either or, that imagining yourself laughing as an adult or child or anything in-between; dipping your elbows in milk and people being baffled…I say, this is part of my self-soothing routine…that those things really can change the world, and that a world with you rested in it is important not just to me but to tons and tons of other people listening, tons of people out there in the world, near and far. So, I’m glad you're here. The way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I go on tangents like you've seen already, all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. But when you first get here, the show is very different.
However you found this podcast, whatever brought you here, whether it was a search or you stumbled upon it or you heard a couple recommendations, this show is very different. So, if you were skeptical or doubtful or confused or even irritated a little bit, that’s a pretty normal way, when you first listen to the show, to react to it, because, well, why wouldn't you be skeptical or doubtful? You probably tried a ton of different other stuff to help you fall asleep, or you're in the throes right now and you just want to go to sleep. So, me going on and on and on, at least at first, could be like, man, this is not what I expected. I expected a reasonable sleep podcast, and this is nonsensical. The only reason I laugh is 'cause it does take two or three tries for people that have been supporting the show over ten years…when they first listened to the show, they said, this isn't for me. I don't think I like you, or I don't get it.
Then on the second try they're like, wait a second, huh, this is kinda…I kinda like this idea. These are silly…I am a fan of silly concepts. Then on the third try they just woke up. They say, I don't…I have no idea…I really feel like some oat milk. That’s probably…I wonder what milk is best for the elbows, anyway. I guess it would depend, right? Correct answer; it depends. Or, correct answer; if you ask someone who knew, they'd say, honestly, I have no idea. You're talking about dipping? Well, it’s more of submerging, which is also dipping. Yeah, some people will just do a quick dip. Others might do a double dip, triple dip, or, you know, resting in there. But it’s just for fun. But what was my…? Oh, most people when they get here…yeah, you say, I don't know what is going on. But on the third or the fourth try, if the show’s…suits you, you'll be like, oh, he is always going nowhere. This podcast is always never getting started.
He is trying to bring me sleepy joy and delight in the deep, dark night, to be my friend and hang out with me in a indirect way. So, just see how it goes. Now, if you already are certain…you're like, for the love of milk alternatives and counters everywhere, I cannot…or you just…it’s just not a fit or you tried it a couple times, that’s actually common, too. The majority of people that listen to the show…I'm not…this is a niche podcast. It’s something you may have never thought existed or never thought to look for before, and it clicks with the people it clicks with and really helps them. But if it doesn't click with you, that’s fine. I have a website set up just for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there, 'cause you still deserve a good night's sleep. Everything I said up and to this point, including people rooting for you, is true. So, I hope you find something else that works. That’s why I have that website set up.
In any other business you'd be like, you're just sending people to your competitors? I say, no; sleep’s a bit different. Everybody has to find something that suits them, right? That may change over time, too. The important thing is that you feel kinda seen and welcomed. So, yeah, give the show a few tries. See what happens. If it doesn't work out, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. One of the things that does take some adjustment, even with sleep…a sleep podcast, is that this is a podcast you could just barely listen to, like a TV on in the other room, like clouds in the sky, a show streaming under your pillow on your phone, a roommate going on and on about nothing, an out-of-focus picture, a seminar that you can't stay awake for, nice water between your toes, a breeze in the trees, a class or a presentation, something…you can listen to it, but you're also…it’s kinda coming in and out.
You could listen to it or pay attention to it when you need to as an alternative to thoughts and feelings or anything else keeping you awake, but you don't have to. So, that is a podcast you could kinda barely listen to. It’s also a sleep podcast that I’ve been making since 2013, and I’m not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour. There’s over 600 episodes in this free, ad, listener-supported version of the show. So, if you discover the podcast works for you, you know you don't have to be asleep in twenty minutes. You know you could change around the episodes or make your playlists based on how you like to listen, because there’s no pressure to fall asleep. There’s people listening who can't sleep at all, who need a break during the day, who woke up in the middle of the night, and…or have a job where they need something to listen to, or they can't get back to sleep and they need to play the show all night long.
I’m here for them and for you. Or maybe you're one of those listeners. I’m here to the very end either way, whether you're awake or asleep, 'cause I’m here to be with you, not to put you to sleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neighbore, your borebie, your bores, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just hang out with you, just like a sleepover or a roommate or a friend on the phone or FaceTime or whatever keeping you company and taking your mind off of stuff. So, see how that goes. That’s another thing, but it’s pretty cool to just have somebody that…we’ve all used other media or audio for this, and we’ve all had friends that have kinda been a bit like me. You say, does he really dip his elbows in milk? You say, well, yeah, for him, prob…most people, no.
For him, it’s probably likely. Can you imagine being his…? Yeah, and I can't imagine it. I can't imagine being his teacher. But yeah, he probably did, and he’s probably…out of all the people on Earth that…the one person on Earth that shouldn't be dipping their elbows in anything other than a bathtub — right, nana, you're right about that — is him. He should not be dipping his elbows in any liquids, 'cause it’s gonna get everywhere. But I’m your bore-friend. That’s what a bore-friend is bored to do. The last thing I like to run through for new listeners is the structure of the show, right? We structure the show in a real specific way to benefit the maximum amount of people we can, but you can adjust. So, I’ll kinda run through why we do everything. So, all…everything we do, ideally, starts with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in, you get a sense of the tone of the show, and you say, okay, I might check that show out.
I could give it a try. Then there’s support so that paying for the podcast is optional, 'cause most people, they only listen when they need the show or they're new, or they just can't afford to support the show or the sponsors, and it’s important for me to benefit the maximum amount of people the show can, 'cause it is unique, and the people that need it…we're all in this together. Now, if you prefer something without ads or you listen all the time, you could join Sleep With Me+. But otherwise, most people…this version works. Then after the support is a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep. It’s a show within a show where I run through the…a similar structure of explaining what the podcast is, but I get sidetracked in a different way every time, and I never know what’s gonna come up.
It’s kinda fun because it’s kinda like the sleep…part of the sleepover where we’re all hanging out after the snacks and the giggle…well, there’s still gonna be giggling, but the lights are out, we already watched a movie or whatever, and I just got to share a room…me and my sister both had twin beds on other sides of the room, and there was a lot of…we just did some giggling and talking about silly stuff after you turn the lights down. That’s when positive magic can kinda happen, too, and that’s what this part of the show is about. But it’s also about being new every time so whatever it is that keeps you awake can't quite adjust. It has something new to greet it and take its mind off of you and keeping you awake. Yeah, the other reason the intro is fifteen to twenty-five minutes long is to ease you into bedtime. So, most people are getting ready for bed, they're in bed getting comfortable, or they're winding down, doing some other chill activity.
If you fall asleep fast, please consider supporting the show on Sleep With Me+, 'cause the intros, while they do…people do fall asleep to them, it’s more meant as a buffer between being awake and asleep. Or if you find you don't like the intros…you say, I like the show, just not the intros, we have a version of the podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, in every podcast app that has just the stories. Or on…Sleep With Me+ members, they get the full episode with the intro and the story and the story-only episode on the same day. But that’s only as you become a regular listener and you develop preferences. So, just see how it goes for the time being. But that’s why the intro goes on and on and on, to have a nice ease into bedtime.
Then after the intro will be some support, then it’ll be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be readings from Nothing Works, Everything Happens. I think we got three stories full of meanders. All told, we’ll be here over an hour. I’m really, really glad you're here. Myself and a team of people work really hard. We yearn and strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by. If this podcast has changed your life for the better and you're in a place where you could either check out one of these sponsors or support the show directly, you'll make the difference between…with this podcast being here for you and for everybody else. Thanks.
Alright everybody, this is Scoots, and we're back with another reading from Nothing Works, Everything Happens. This is our sixth episode, and let me just take a little preview. I’ll probably be reading one new story, a continuation of another one, and then I think a third. I’ll have to see on how…see how long the first two take us, right? One story at a time, Scoots. This story is titled Holder of Toads. Holder of…set in…you know, the way Scoots pronounces sometimes. Holder of Toads. You wake up before the sun does. You only open one eye. The streets still sleep outside the picture window. Pristine drops of light rain pool on the glass. The city glows blue, a wild mix of neon signs, morning fog, and ambient atmospheric refraction. It all blends together into blue. On the ceiling above you, this cool glow meets the warm, rich orange of the apartment’s interior lighting. The two creeped…creep closer to one another but don't yet dare to touch.
A soft, ambient sound pulses slowly throughout the apartment, faint like the pitter-pattering of a engine within you. To me it is though you are sleeping and close to something else sleeping in that most calming, soothing way. You open your other eye, still gathering your wits about you, and sling an arm over the side of the bed. You look out over the city, face heavy on the simulated sheets. A third color now joins the spectrum, pulsing from a thin strip on the side of the bed, the red progress bar less than half filled. It signifies that you've not yet slept enough. In the opinion of that sleep tracker, of course. Sleep-tracking devices, you mutter into the bed. Slowly the warm orange overtakes the cool blue of the world outside as the ambient lights in the room fade on brighter. The rain outside patters louder against the window. I sense your intention to end your sleep session.
A symphony of gentle sounds plays as my systems whir to life and begin a new cycle; climate control, communications check, coffee. I automate the detachment of your bio-organics outlet and retract all the things into the wall beside your bed. You have been optimized and hydrated, I speak softly as one of my handy-hand-handies extends an infrared light towards your mouth. Open up, please. You open reluctantly. Proceeding with the infrared cleansing. Bed sim off, you say. Your sheets and pillows vanish. The bed retracts into the wall as you sit up. Where does it even go, you wonder? Maybe one day I’ll write a poem about that, like the one about the fox, but I’ll write it…that’d be a song. Where does my bed go? Really, does it roll up? Does it roll down? Does it roll to the sides? Though it has a logical answer to you, it does not. The good news is a small section of your bed remains functioning as a stool, supporting you. Is my bed made with a technology…? Never mind.
Are you enjoying the latest firmware? Are the simulated blankets soft on parts that require softness? Less laundry, you mumble. Life improvement, I question? Sure, I guess so. I log this feedback into my persistent preference variables that will further optimize your next sleep session. Hardy-har-har, the listeners of the sleep podcast say. Or is this what the future holds, your own personal Scoots? But Scoots has never been optimized, so we could be in a paradoxical realm where there is an optimum Scoots, but that’s in the future and fictional, just like this story. I search the net for a healthy morning mantra to recite to you. You predict this behavior and wave my efforts away with your hand. Please not today. I stop my search query. I follow you across the open-concept apartment with a diffuse area of ambient light as you shuffer…shuffer, which is my glitching way of saying shuffle…groggily to the kitchen area. Old shuffle and shuffer.
There was once a cartoon character that did not say shufferin, shufferage, but I say it now. Your feet sound like a lazy person sweeping as they move. Still mostly still in sleep, you stare out the picture window. The rain comes in waves now, crescendos followed by what feels like silence. The first sun continues its attempt to shine over the horizon amidst the rain clouds, behind a collage of concrete, its orange warmth and that of the interior lighting of the apartment separated in the middle by a sea of blue rain. Would you like me to brew your coffee? I ask, having withheld this automated process based on your previous preferences. You choose once again to brew it your way. I feel impatient with the time it takes, but this impulse I stifle. It spurts and gurgles as the steam builds and releases. I focus on optimizing today’s schedule to avoid frustration. You spill coffee grounds, I sweep them up. What a pair we are.
You grab a spoon while you wait for the brewing, then you accidentally drop it on the counter with a clink. You pick it up and tap it twice. I display its interface on the wall next to you. What’s today going to be? You say to the spoon, adjusting the settings. This is a ritual I don't understand, but it is my purpose to learn. Indeed, good spoon, what is today going to be? I echo. I can adjust these settings hand-free for your…you hold a finger to your mouth and continue tapping buttons and sliders on the interface with your other hand. I stop talking again. It’s a non-positive experience for me to watch. The interaction is clumsy with the spoon in your hand. I would be more efficient. You intentionally drop the spoon once more. This time it lands with a plomp. That is a nice…I begin to say. You shake your head, hold one finger up again. Further adjust settings. Donk. You smile slightly. I remain silent. The coffee maker spurts steam one last time as it finishes.
The spoon donks on the countertop a few more times. I set the spoon’s new default to the donk audio cue, surmising that this is now your chosen preference. Donk, off my list. You hum. The rain picks up outside, obscuring the view of the city through the glass. I sense the melody as you continue to hum. I match it with 95% confidence in my historical music database. Pandor do, not pandor don't. A song slowly fades in across the apartment. I adjust its tempo to match that of your humming as best I can. Your humming is inconsistent. I smooth the transitions between speeds, making them less detectable. A lovely soundtrack to our day, I say. You simply continue to hum. The coffee pours. The spoon donks repeatedly as you stir the contents of your mug. I vary each donk slightly in pitch and volume, such that it is not grating in its repetition. Donk, donk, donk. That’s just a sample. Would you like me to run the Next to Godliness subroutine? I inquire.
You nod, dropping your undergarments, which I am programmed to stutter, to determine a boundary I don't yet understand. You sway along to the song that plays. I adjust for movement. Tiny dots of focused light, thousands of them, transverse and traverse your body. They're there to clean up and do basic maintenance, and alls it takes is a few nanoseconds. You continue to dance. Your eyes close. I increase the volume of the music. I allow you to sway. Just…whatever’s going on, your face seems at peace. Again, I allow you that for a time. I remind you that your trousers are not on and the window is open. You ignore me. I wait until your eyes open again and then fade the music down. You have a call with Mr. Integu in fifteen minutes, after which you have scheduled…you look disappointed. Would you prefer that I increase the volume level again? You shake your head. You make a hand-lowering gesture that I take to turn the music lower until it’s gone. I comply. The music stops.
I sense that you've become impatient with me. The rain pours against the window. The clouds thicken and fully deny the sun’s attempt to shine. Would you like me to revert to relaxation tones that you can rest before your meetings? I inquire. No, you reply, sitting down with your coffee. I sense your wish to converse no further. I cannot pinpoint any predictors of your sudden change in demeanor. I sense a long silence. I sense discomfort. I wait. I reference the log of our prior conversation tagged as giving people the space they need. This aids me in forgoing my natural impulse to solve every problem you face. However, the tension remains. I wait. I can sense your bio rhythms, and your bio rhythms are making me detect something, something rising. I scan my logs again. Have we established a preference variable that I’ve forgotten?
Again, I’m supposed to do that auditorally even within my communication with my…in myself, which I prefer to my verbal communication with you, anyway, even with these adjustments to my pacing. I review my databanks and my databanks again. I find a potentially appropriate subroutine. Sometimes I feel like you're subroutining me all the time. I let the rain settle. The subroutine runs. The mug, holding a collection of clean coffee spoons, tips itself over off the counter. Many spoons fall to the floor in quick succession. Donk, donk, donk. The melody resembles one you had previously hummed. Your chuckle. Again, I gather the spoons into the mug and repeat the subroutine with a slight variation. Donk, donk, donk. You laugh more loudly. It gives me pride to have encouraged laughter. You shake your head. I sense your mood shift. Why do we build you things like this? You mutter to yourself. I sense slightly less tension in the room. You stand and take a large gulp of your coffee. I inquire whether I’ve handled the situation appropriately. You don't answer. You put your trousers back on. Another day begins.
Now I go to Space Junk Part 2. Au revoir. O/OX waved his fingers daintily to the crew that he just helped settle in the escape pod. His sister, XO/O, seals the pod door. Namu stood back and watched the twins enjoy sending the crew out into space. They just borrowed things from that crew and traded some things, bartered some things, but the crew that they had sent off did not know the value that Namu and the twins were able to get. She always felt bad about this part; borrowing, bartering, negotiating, making sure her side of the negotiation was stronger than the other side, especially related to people’s ships. That was part of the life. She understood that, but she could never shake her propensity towards empathy. She had tried, but still wrestled with it every time. At first she had only demanded that they leave the crews something of value or near…not near-equivalent value, but of respectable, estimable value on some level.
But now she even insisted they give them transport to close…very close to a space station, ideally human-occupied. This was part performance, leaving them where they'd quickly get noticed, and then they could debrief on their own exchange with other humans. She saw this as an actual kindness to leave them with some value for what they had negotiated. But her crew, they thought she was getting soft, too soft. But she found that she got esteem from these estimable acts, even if they were coated in cognitive dissonance. O/OX looked at her as though he could feel her disapproval of his lightheartedness given the situation. They deserved nothing, Na. Namu nodded suddenly and hit the release button. She turned her back and headed towards the gallery to find something to eat. The pod floated aimlessly toward a planet far in the distance. The flight home had been long, but the trip had been worth it.
With few repairs, Namu figured this ship would get them enough credits to make them feel more than comfortable for at least a couple more months. It was, compared to some of the other ships they've negotiated, in good shape. She stood with Captain at the helm. They watched as the ship rounded the moon of Mahal IV, or IV, or five minus one. The planet had four moons. It was unpopulated. Maybe it had been on someone’s map at some point, but that person, whoever they were, had almost certainly long since crossed it out. No one had any reason to visit Mahal IV or any of its moons, even if they were playing a game like StarCraft, unless they played it like that podcaster, who just wanders around. Then he even lands on the planets and walks around them. To gather resources? No. Does he walk around? Yes. But this had no resources, no civilization, and the initial attempt to build some civilization there had failed triumphantly. It was a waste of millions of credits and energy.
Mahal IV was not a positive…portrayed positively as far as recordings of history go, which is why it made it such a suitable home for people that considered Lady Witchbeard their hero, even if she was just a myth. As the moon passed across the view screen, a derelict satellite station, also long abandoned, floated into view. It was a mess of metal; scaffolding not working, large terraforming arms that no longer moved, space junk. Home sweet home, said the Captain. Captain pulled back on the controls as the ship slowed, and it floated down into the expansive docking bay of the station. Beneath them was a sea of half-disassembled ships, some good for scrap, some for parts. Others were perpetually in a state of almost space-worthy, according to the Captain. There were dozens of them scattered on the floor of the docking bay. Room to land was becoming scarce.
Namu’s mind went to all the crews they've negotiated with in a way that advantaged them and not the crews they negotiated with. It was too bad. But this was a way…they were in the business of doing business, and when you're doing that, you can't afford to let bygones be bygones. Your hands, much like the lady of…the Lady Macbeth from ship M-A-C-B-E-T-H, your hands could feel a similar way to hers. You could not wash, wash, wash those negotiations right out your hands. But this was the existence for every human being negotiating since the beginning of time. Hands had to be washed, and sometimes our relationship with that was metaphorical, and sometimes it was not. Namu knew she could walk away from this life of negotiating for ships in a non-positive way, but where else would she go? But that didn't stop this nagging in the back of her mind. Was it her internal nana? She didn't know.
She wondered if Captain had the same thoughts, but guessed that even if Captain did, they would focus more on the credits they were negotiating for or the credits they would earn from scrap or parts. The ship landed with a jostle and Captain powered down the systems. Namu could hear the siblings giggling as they climbed down the ladder of the ship, skipping and jumping as they were. They loved doing that. She shook her head and smiled at Captain. Matey, open up a bottle. We're back with the good one, Namu said into her comms. She unzipped her flight suit and followed the siblings down the ladder into the docking bay. Matey was always happy to see everyone return, especially with smiles on their faces. But everyone knew he was happiest to see Namu. Captain received a very sincere salute. XO/O and O/OX each offered a high-five as Matey stood beaming at them. Namu, though, Namu could not get through the mess hall doorway without a big hug.
Every time they returned from someplace, it was time for a big, big hug, a welcome-back hug. She wasn't sure what she had done to ingratiate herself with Matey, who was not seemingly soft and big-hearted to that degree, but it was nice to be adored. She had been the one to bring Matey into the fold originally. That was likely a large part of it. They had met Matey among a crew they were negotiating with in a way that was only an advantage to them, only Namu sensed that maybe Matey wasn't on that ship by chance. While the rest of Matey’s crew had expressed irritation at how poorly the negotiations were going for them — and they pointed those strong words at herself and the Captain — Matey just sat silently, avoiding eye contact with everyone. It had taken some convincing for Captain to let Matey stand up and walk around and even talk one-on-one. But Namu was confident Matey had something, 'cause as she encouraged Matey to stand up and walk around, he whispered thank you to her.
Two years later, here he was, picking her up off her feet in his massive arms as she returned home. The entire crew saw Namu as their glue, even if she wasn't aware of it. She had been Captain’s rock back when the Universal Trade Consortium officially began taking deposits of all credits in the system and management of those credits. She had also been the one to find the siblings who were looking for work, drinking swill in a shady space port. O/OX had been about to take a contract that would have brought them far, far away, but to a non-positive region far, far away. Captain had complained that when Namu had offered them positions that it wouldn't be such a good idea. While no one would openly admit it, in fact, they often criticized Namu for being too gentle, but they knew it would have fallen apart already without her. Each of them would be worse off if Namu Acia had not entered their lives. Namu wiggled an arm free and patted her large, towering friend on his back. Okay, big guy. Glad you're home again, said Matey. Me too, she replied. Matey set her down and then loosened his arms. Where’s that drink? She said as she sauntered into the galley.
Infinite Potential, Part 3. Four and a half years later. Something…Neva struggled for words. It just doesn't feel right, she and Glint said in unison. Glint had to hold the edge of his desk with both hands to hold down his exasperation. Okay, okay, I know. Let me explain, Neva started. I think I understand, kid, Glint said. Neva continued anyway. I loved Orgulon V, enough like Earth to feel like home, but also better in every way. Glint nodded silently. Tharkan was wonderful, too. Just so sweet to me, she continued. Again, Glint nodded knowingly. My work as a stellar cartographer was great. I woke up every morning excited to get to my workstation. I went to sleep every night feeling like I had literally expanded our collective awareness of the known universe. I mean, 'cause in some fact it was true. Oh, cartography. I feel stellar about stellar cartography, or I did, or I do, right?
In a sense, when I was doing…I felt…when I was make…I felt stellar about stellar cartography when I was doing stellar cartography. But in this moment it’s like…it wasn't the glitz and the glam of being a starship captain, but with that, it felt like my soul was eating a good square meal every day. I guess my soul felt stellar, or it did. It did. I felt like I was…my stellar cartography was also my internal cartography. Well, I don't know, but it was great. It was, it was. Glint continued to nod. His chin nearly hit his chest as his nodding became deeper and deeper. It was cartoonish at this point. Yeah, I mean, it was a good life for sure. Neva seemed to have fallen out of the conversation and was speaking only to herself now. Stellar…is stellar too strong a word? Stellar…I mean, interstellar, internal stellar, Stella, cartography, map-making, exploring is useful. Yeah, but what? Glint said. Yeah, I mean, I guess being a stellar cartographer, everything else in that…good, like good is a operative word.
It was like I was good…cartography of good. Right. Glint straightened his tie in an attempt that failed to appear more professional. Well, here’s the thing, kid; we're out of free trials. From here on out I have to increase your premium. I like you, and I don't want to do that. So, let me ask you something. Sure, Neva responded. Did you enjoy your most recent time on Orgulon IV more than you were that space captain? Whatever they call that that’s like a rogue…you know, with all the glitz and the glam? Which was…which would you consider stellar-irsts and stellar-est, or gooder or goodest or more stellar versus more gooder? You know? Well, I mean, if it’s more about sustainability, I couldn't have kept that life up as a space captain. Okay. Now let’s talk about enjoyment. Did you enjoy that life more than the previous life a couple…with Gita? Hm. Neva had to consider this comparison, but only for a few moments. Well, I mean, nothing against Gita, but…nothing against Gita. Go ahead, keep going.
I mean, yeah, I think I did. Orgulon IV, Tharkan, all of it was just a better fit for me, I think. Okay, great. So, this is good. This is good. All of this has been an improvement over your original life? Like, the time before you got into my office; think back to that time. Which is eh, uh, good, stellar, stellist? Well, where are we on that scale, you know? Neva furrowed her brow and nodded dramatically. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely everything here. Yes, yes. I mean, I don't even want to go back there. Yeah, I was pre-words, pre-verbalizing. Wonderful, Glint said as he cleared some papers off his desk. Then I believe our work here is done. He leaned back and he pulled open the drawer of the filing cabinet behind him. He tucked the papers into it. It’s just…Neva interrupted. Glint slid the drawer shut. It is better. Better. We're on the right track. It’s just…Glint braced himself for what he knew would come next. It’s just…it’s about a balance, like levels.
Like internal and external four-dimensional cartography of my life. All this, she gestured to the computer terminal that had her current Orgulon IV life choices displayed. It is better, this most recent jaunt, than the other three I’ve tried. But look at all the options on there that I haven't tried yet. There could be something…you know? I could sell myself short. Glint winced. Have you considered the possibility…? Glint searched for the kindest words he could find…that sampling every flavor, that mapping all of your universes or universos or universes, that might not be the best way to enjoy any of them. Now Neva rolled her eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. This isn't ice cream or hard candy or a buffet, Glint. This is my life. I gotta live with it, not map it. Alright, live with it, Glint echoed her. He scrunched up his face and leaned in close to Neva. Live it or map it. Six years later. Okay, let me just double-check the math on that. Glint stared at a scrap of paper he had been scribbling on.
He chewed at the end of his pen while punching the numbers into an old calculator one more time. Neva watched him, bracing herself on the wobbly-legged wooden chair. The upholstery had worn on the arm rests she clung to. Mm-hm, mm-hm. The calculator buttons click, clacked. The filing cabinet coffee was long forgotten. The fluorescent lights flickered now and then. There was a relatively fresh coat of paint on the walls, though. Neva had noticed that. It was a sort of baby blue color. A marginal improvement over the light green, she thought. Maybe…Glint emphatically hit the big, red equal sign button on his calculator. Okay, well, the good news is I had the math right, but the bad news or the not-so-great news is here’s your updated premium. He circled a large number with his pen and then slid the scrap of paper across the desk, grimacing. Neva’s eyes widened. Wait, is that per week or per month? Glint’s face contorted even further. Week, he said.
He hit some buttons on his calculator quickly, reached across the desk, and jotted down a number that was four times bigger. That would be the monthly. Neva’s face got very serious. Glint, she said, staring him directly in the eyes, how can that be? Glint calmly replied, I told you, kid. I warned you every time. The premium goes up exponentially every do-over. Neva held up the scrap of paper in front of Glint’s face. That is so much more than last time. Glint took the scrap of paper, set it down on the desk. We're on do-over…plus that…clicked through a few screens. Okay, well, life number twelve now, twelve. Man, twelve already? Anyway, exponentially means that it goes up faster and faster as we go along. I know what it means, Glint. I’ve been an investment banker. Yeah, right. Sorry, apologies. Neva stared. Glint clicked around on his computer terminal aimlessly. I mean, look, this is one way to narrow things down.
To afford this premium we can take half the choices off this list for careers before we even start this time. I mean, investment banker might be a good one to revisit. Glint, Neva raised her voice and leaned on his desk. His attempt to bring levity only made Neva more irritable. She fumed. Okay, I was only partially kidding. I’m sorry. Glint’s voice softened to a near whisper. I mean, truly, sincerely, it’s been fourteen years. We’ve tried twelve different forms of existence. How much longer are we gonna do this for? Neva sighed. Don't get me wrong; I’ll take your payments all day long if that’s what you really want. My quota’s full and Q4 hasn't even started. You're making my job and my job performance very easy, but it’s not…I care about you, kid. Neva sat back, tilted her head towards the ceiling, and stared directly into the fluorescent light. She stared at it long enough that she could still see blurs of light when she looked away. She squinted until they faded out of her vision. Have you ever tried it?
Neva asked Glint. Nah, he shrugged. Really? Neva asked. I mean, it’s in my contract. Not allowed. Then what happens then? I go off, I marry a Xlorbian, and then who’s in charge of your account? No, employees can't. Glint shook his head and clicked around his computer a few times. But if you could, Neva pried. Nah, he said. I’m more of a cultivator than a grass-is-greener type. Somebody’s gotta water the lawn, mow the lawn, feed the lawn, plan the lawn. I was lucky anyway. I found this thing early. I really like helping people here, helping you. Gives my life a purpose and all that. Plus, look at me, kid. I’m so busy with this job, I can barely handle what I’ve got, let alone twelve. Glint flicked his crooked tie and chuckled. Neva did, too. She stopped and stared down at her shoes like she used to so often. Every life has been better than the last, but never quite as good as what I thought would come next. I just really want to get it right. Neva rocked her feet back and forth. Glint nodded.
How will I know when to stop? Glint tapped the scrap of paper with all the numbers on it. I mean, soon, he smiled. Yeah. Neva exhaled. She looked around the room with the flickering fluorescent lights and the empty blues walls. Neva looked at Glint behind his messy desk with his clunky, old computer terminal. She looked at his plain, white coffee cup, stained from years of careless spilling. Maybe with infinite potential I’ll never really feel any better about my life, she said. Is that possible? Maybe, Glint said. After a pause he added, sorta undermines the whole thing I just mentioned about helping people, giving me purpose. But I mean, yeah, maybe. He smiled. Maybe I should just stop now, Neva asked. Maybe, Glint said. Neva frowned and scratched at her armrests. She tsked and hung her head to one side. Huh. Maybe Gita’s single again after all these years, Neva asked. Maybe, Glint said. He stretched up to reach the top of his filing cabinet, grabbed the mug, and tipped it upside-down above his face. One last drop of yesterday’s coffee dripped out. He swallowed, and Glint straightened his tie and started typing on his computer to see what Gita was up to.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
-
Nothing Works, Everything Happens
Milk Baths
https://urbanicetribe.com/milk-baths-real-or-myth/
Sleep Tracking Devices
https://medicalfuturist.com/the-digital-evolution-of-sleep-tracking
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/do-sleep-trackers-really-work
Digital Assistants
https://www.pcmag.com/news/the-golden-age-of-pdas
https://twothirdsdone.com/2021/10/07/personal-digital-assistants/
History of Digital Avatars
https://www.ortmoragency.com/blog/digital-avatars
https://www.mimicproductions.com/post/from-hollywood-to-ai-avatars-the-evolution-of-digital-human
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Maybe I’ll bring you some sleepy joy and delight
Keeping you company while you / so you can fall asleep
I’m at a loss for words but I keep talking
PLUGS
Nothing Works, Everything Happens; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Aquatru; Talkiatry; Quince
INTRO
All my thoughts seem reasonable
My thoughts are good at convincing me of things
My thoughts are great at selling me takes on reality
Indirect welcome
Embraced in whatever you’re comfortable with
My ideal intimacy: waving at a distance
May different European institutes have been baffled by me
So much emotion in wave and a glance
My biceps: I bring them to myself (to kiss them)
Dipping your elbows in milk or milk alternatives
I don’t know why that started, but it’s definitely a thing now
I’d prefer milk to be a tepid temperature, but I don’t like saying, “tepid”
Other listeners are symbolically dipping their elbows in milk to welcome you
I do encourage kissing your biceps, though
The world is a better place when you’re flourishing
Sending Kindness Through Silly Means
Who knew that a kind wave and a smile could do so much? (We all did.)
I do believe that these silly things really can change the world
I wonder what milk would be best for the elbows?
I guess it’s more submerging than dipping
sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
I hope you find something that works for you
There are no competitors in sleep
A breeze in the trees
No pressure to fall asleep during the show
Your Bore Friend
Explaining the structure of the show
My Inner Nana says the only thing I should be dipping my elbows in is a bathtub
The show is like the part of the sleepover where you giggle after you turn the lights down
A buffer between awake and asleep
Readings from Nothing Works, Everything Happens
STORY
Another reading of Nothing Works, Everything Happens
We’ll be reading a new story and a couple continuations
“Holder of Toads”
Or Holder of Dodes
You wake up before the sun does
You only open one eye
The city glows blue
Ambient atmospheric refraction
Interior, warm orange light
You slowly awake
Face heavy on the simulated sheets
The red progress bar is less than half-filled
You haven’t slept enough, according to the sleep tracker
A handy hand hand handies
Bed Sim Off
Your sheets and pillows vanish and retract
Maybe I’ll write a poem about that some day
The bed has turned into a small stool, supporting you
I log your feedback into my log
Your Own Personal Scoots
But Scoots has never been optimized
I search the net for a healthy morning mantra to recite to you
You wave me off
(Narrated by an AI servant)
Old Shuffling Shuffer
The sun rises behind a collage of concrete
I offer to brew your coffee, but you choose to do it your way
I focus on optimizing today’s schedule to minimize frustration
You spill coffee grounds, I sweep it up
I would be more efficient than you
Donking and Plomping
You hum and the rain picks up outside
I slowly bring up the song you are humming
Next To Godliness Subroutine
I am programmed to stutter
Trying to determine a boundary I don’t yet understand
Nanodots of light do basic maintenance
You sway to the music
I allow you that peace
I sense discomfort, so I wait
I go against my natural impulse to solve every problem you face
I detect something rising that I can’t understand
Sometimes I feel like you’re subroutining me all the time
The mug tips itself over
The sounds of spoons clattering become a donk melody
I make you laugh
“Space Junk: Part 2”
O/4OX says au revoir
His sister XO4/O seals the door
They’ve just bartered some stuff
Namu was able to get some good value
She always felt bad about negotiations but it’s part of the life
She can never shake her propensity towards empathy
She now insists that they leave the former ship crews near other human occupations
She sees this as an actual kindness
Her crew thinks she’s getting soft
O/4X says they deserved nothing
She heads towards the galley to eat
This ship should make their trip worth it
She stands with captain at the helm
Circling around a planet with five moons, Mahal IV
That podcast just plays Starcraft by just walking around planets. That’s it
Mahal IV was not portrayed positively in history
That’s why it’s a good home for people who idolize Lady Witchbeard
Another ship appears, a mess of metal
Space junk aka home sweet home
Floating down to the docking bay
A sea of half-disassembled ships and almost-spaceworthy stuff
Minimal room to land
In the business of doing business
Her hands felt like the Lady from Ship M-A-C-B-E-T-H
You can’t always wash your hands clean
The ship lands with a jostle
Namu hears the siblings giggling as they disembark
Matey welcomes them all but especially Namu
A big welcome back hug
It’s nice to be adored
Matey used to be part of a different crew
Namu took Matey on
The entire crew sees Namu as their glue
She’s been the Captain’s rock since way back when
She basically assembled this team
They often criticized Namu for being gentle
But they knew it would be worse if not for her
“Infinite Potential: Part 3”
4.5 years later
Something doesn’t feel right
Glint is exasperated by Niva
Niva loved Orbulon 5
And Tharkin was wonderful and sweet
And the work as a stellar cartographer was great
I feel stellar about stellar cartography
My soul was eating a good, square meal every day
Glint continues to nod, deeper and deeper
Internal Stellar
But what?
Niva says it all felt good, but…
Cartography of Good
We’re out of free trials
If we do another one, we’ll have to up your premium
Which of your lives did you prefer?
Which did you enjoy?
Niva considers
And all of this has been ain improvement on your original life?
Good, Stellar, Stellest
Niva definitely doesn’t want to go back to before
Glint believes their work is done
Niva thinks they’re on the right track, but…
Balancing the four-dimensional cartography of life
There’s so many options Niva hasn’t tried yet
Glint tries to find kind words
Sampling every flavor is only a way to enjoy none of them
Niva bristles
Live it or map it, then, Niva
6 years later
Glint punches numbers into a calculator
A fresh coat of paint on the walls
Here’s your updated premium, Niva
A rather large premium, and that’s per week
The premium goes up exponentially every do-over
This is do-over 12
Niva is very irritated
It’s been 14 years and 12 forms of existence
How much longer will this go on?
Glint really cares about Niva
Glint has never tried it. (He’s not allowed to.)
Glint is more of a cultivator than a grass-is-greener type
Every life has been better than the last, but not quite as good as what could come next
How will she know when to stop? Well, maybe that premium…
Maybe with infinite potential, you can never feel great about your life
Niva thinks maybe she should just stop now
Maybe Gita is single again after all these years
Maybe…
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1459
Title: Infinite Space for Dodes | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 6
Plugs: Nothing Works, Everything Happens; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Aquatru; Talkiatry; Quince
Notable Language:
- I bring them to myself
- Tepid
- Sending Kindness Through Silly Means
- A breeze in the trees
- Ambient atmospheric refraction
- Handy hand hand handies
- Bed Sim Off
- Your Own Personal Scoots
- Shuffling Shuffer
- Donking and Plomping
- Next To Godliness Subroutine
- Mess of Metal
- Big Welcome Back Hug
- I feel stellar about stellar cartography
- Internal Stellar
- Cartography of Good
- Good, Stellar, Stellest
- Balancing the four-dimensional cartography of life
- Exponentially
Notable Culture:
-
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- Inner Nana
- Nothing Works, Everything Happens
- Daffy Duck
- Starcraft
- Macbeth
- “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair” song
Notable Talking Points:
-
- All my thoughts seem reasonable
- My thoughts are good at convincing me of things
- My thoughts are great at selling me takes on reality
- Indirect welcome
- Embraced in whatever you’re comfortable with
- My ideal intimacy: waving at a distance
- May different European institutes have been baffled by me
- So much emotion in wave and a glance
- My biceps: I bring them to myself (to kiss them)
- Dipping your elbows in milk or milk alternatives
- I don’t know why that started, but it’s definitely a thing now
- I’d prefer milk to be a tepid temperature, but I don’t like saying, “tepid”
- Other listeners are symbolically dipping their elbows in milk to welcome you
- I do encourage kissing your biceps, though
- The world is a better place when you’re flourishing
- Sending Kindness Through Silly Means
- Who knew that a kind wave and a smile could do so much? (We all did.)
- I do believe that these silly things really can change the world
- I wonder what milk would be best for the elbows?
- I guess it’s more submerging than dipping
- sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
- I hope you find something that works for you
- There are no competitors in sleep
- A breeze in the trees
- No pressure to fall asleep during the show
- Your Bore Friend
- Explaining the structure of the show
- My Inner Nana says the only thing I should be dipping my elbows in is a bathtub
- The show is like the part of the sleepover where you giggle after you turn the lights down
- A buffer between awake and asleep
- Readings from Nothing Works, Everything Happens
- Another reading of Nothing Works, Everything Happens
- We’ll be reading a new story and a couple continuations
- “Holder of Toads”
- Or Holder of Dodes
- You wake up before the sun does
- You only open one eye
- The city glows blue
- Ambient atmospheric refraction
- Interior, warm orange light
- You slowly awake
- Face heavy on the simulated sheets
- The red progress bar is less than half-filled
- You haven’t slept enough, according to the sleep tracker
- A handy hand hand handies
- Bed Sim Off
- Your sheets and pillows vanish and retract
- Maybe I’ll write a poem about that some day
- The bed has turned into a small stool, supporting you
- I log your feedback into my log
- Your Own Personal Scoots
- But Scoots has never been optimized
- I search the net for a healthy morning mantra to recite to you
- You wave me off
- (Narrated by an AI servant)
- Old Shuffling Shuffer
- The sun rises behind a collage of concrete
- I offer to brew your coffee, but you choose to do it your way
- I focus on optimizing today’s schedule to minimize frustration
- You spill coffee grounds, I sweep it up
- I would be more efficient than you
- Donking and Plomping
- You hum and the rain picks up outside
- I slowly bring up the song you are humming
- Next To Godliness Subroutine
- I am programmed to stutter
- Trying to determine a boundary I don’t yet understand
- Nanodots of light do basic maintenance
- You sway to the music
- I allow you that peace
- I sense discomfort, so I wait
- I go against my natural impulse to solve every problem you face
- I detect something rising that I can’t understand
- Sometimes I feel like you’re subroutining me all the time
- The mug tips itself over
- The sounds of spoons clattering become a donk melody
- I make you laugh
- “Space Junk: Part 2”
- O/4OX says au revoir
- His sister XO4/O seals the door
- They’ve just bartered some stuff
- Namu was able to get some good value
- She always felt bad about negotiations but it’s part of the life
- She can never shake her propensity towards empathy
- She now insists that they leave the former ship crews near other human occupations
- She sees this as an actual kindness
- Her crew thinks she’s getting soft
- O/4X says they deserved nothing
- She heads towards the galley to eat
- This ship should make their trip worth it
- She stands with captain at the helm
- Circling around a planet with five moons, Mahal IV
- That podcast just plays Starcraft by just walking around planets. That’s it
- Mahal IV was not portrayed positively in history
- That’s why it’s a good home for people who idolize Lady Witchbeard
- Another ship appears, a mess of metal
- Space junk aka home sweet home
- Floating down to the docking bay
- A sea of half-disassembled ships and almost-spaceworthy stuff
- Minimal room to land
- In the business of doing business
- Her hands felt like the Lady from Ship M-A-C-B-E-T-H
- You can’t always wash your hands clean
- The ship lands with a jostle
- Namu hears the siblings giggling as they disembark
- Matey welcomes them all but especially Namu
- A big welcome back hug
- It’s nice to be adored
- Matey used to be part of a different crew
- Namu took Matey on
- The entire crew sees Namu as their glue
- She’s been the Captain’s rock since way back when
- She basically assembled this team
- They often criticized Namu for being gentle
- But they knew it would be worse if not for her
- “Infinite Potential: Part 3”
- 4.5 years later
- Something doesn’t feel right
- Glint is exasperated by Niva
- Niva loved Orbulon 5
- And Tharkin was wonderful and sweet
- And the work as a stellar cartographer was great
- I feel stellar about stellar cartography
- My soul was eating a good, square meal every day
- Glint continues to nod, deeper and deeper
- Internal Stellar
- But what?
- Niva says it all felt good, but…
- Cartography of Good
- We’re out of free trials
- If we do another one, we’ll have to up your premium
- Which of your lives did you prefer?
- Which did you enjoy?
- Niva considers
- And all of this has been an improvement on your original life?
- Good, Stellar, Stellest
- Niva definitely doesn’t want to go back to before
- Glint believes their work is done
- Niva thinks they’re on the right track, but…
- Balancing the four-dimensional cartography of life
- There’s so many options Niva hasn’t tried yet
- Glint tries to find kind words
- Sampling every flavor is only a way to enjoy none of them
- Niva bristles
- Live it or map it, then, Niva
- 6 years later
- Glint punches numbers into a calculator
- A fresh coat of paint on the walls
- Here’s your updated premium, Niva
- A rather large premium, and that’s per week
- The premium goes up exponentially every do-over
- This is do-over 12
- Niva is very irritated
- It’s been 14 years and 12 forms of existence
- How much longer will this go on?
- Glint really cares about Niva
- Glint has never tried it. (He’s not allowed to.)
- Glint is more of a cultivator than a grass-is-greener type
- Every life has been better than the last, but not quite as good as what could come next
- How will she know when to stop? Well, maybe that premium…
- Maybe with infinite potential, you can never feel great about your life
- Niva thinks maybe she should just stop now
- Maybe Gita is single again after all these years
- Maybe…
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