1387 – Frank 8 | Read With Me

Episode 1387 – Frank 8 | Read With Me

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s talking in this voice so he could soothe you like a train…once again, I’m in my train station voice 'cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts that you’re thinking about, like things on your mind, you know, thinking things about the past, the present, the future…so, thoughts, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally that you’re feeling, it could be physical sensations that are impacting your sleep, changes in time or temperature, routine.

Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, what I’m gonna do here is I’m gonna try to create a safe place. I’m gonna smooth it, I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna rub it down, and then I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Oh, so creaky are my dulcet tones. They’re an acquired taste, but they’re easy to…easy not to listen to. I also have pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, which means I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna go back, then I’m gonna forget what I went back for. Then I’ll say, wait, what did I…? Then I’ll go on a tangent about the word W. That’ll all be to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep.

So, if you’re new, I’m so glad you’re here, but I really want to welcome you in and give you all the information you need. So, believe it or not, this is an intro, but it’s kinda part of the podcast, and that can throw people off. But it’s one of the many things, so I want to…here’s something; have I talked about stumbling blocks before? Because talk about a loaded word that should be more loaded…people just throw around stumbling blocks. I mean, imagine if they did. It feels like too broad a generalization for me because I’ve stumbled on many…believe me, stumbling blocks…Stumbling’s my name, stumbling’s my game. Stumbling on blocks is just one part of the game that I’m…but I’m not playing when I stumble on blocks.

Because here’s the thing; there’s stumbling…so, there’s the traditional…here’s two types of blocks you could stumble on; there’s the small children’s blocks, right, that…what are they…are those called Alphabet Blocks? I don’t know. They’re wooden blocks. Kids used to…the kids still get them. I don’t know why they call them toy blocks, but I think that’s what they’re called. Then the other kind of block I was thinking of is any kind of block that’s long enough to bang your shin. At first you’d say, which block do I…? Not that I should be loathing blocks, but which block do I loathe stumbling over? I’d say, well, can you stumble over a block that you hit your shin on? I say, is that a dare? Because I can guarantee you I shall, and I have, and I will.

I mean, you can definitely stumble on the little blocks, but also, you could step on them, which is not pleasant, either. But I mean, you could stumble over…oh, but it’s just a term. But here’s the thing; I would prefer…how about tumbling blocks? Blocks you tumble with. That’s what…I’d like to take your stumbling blocks and make them into tumbling blocks. You’d say, Scoots…and I’d say, come on down to Tumbling Blocks, much like our other imaginary businesses; The Ovularity Zone, Tube Town, and other businesses I for…a Velcro-zipper shop…Velcro and Zippers for Fun. Oh, making mud pies, all the businesses I’ve…haven’t started. What was this…? Oh, Tumbling Blocks. It’s a tumble…it’s a place where you can tumble, much like…it doesn’t have those bouncy…it’s a bit like a bouncy castle without the castle.

It’s a meta…much like this podcast, it’s a metaphor that you gotta roll with. Okay, so let me get back. If you’re new, this podcast is not for everybody. I think I just did an example of why. But this is a podcast you gotta give a few tries to. That’s what most listeners say. So, if you’re skeptical or you’re doubtful…oh, I was gonna give you more information. There’s some…there’s…these are some of the tumbling blocks that could get in your way, like skepticism or doubt that this is gonna put you to sleep. That’s very valid. I mean, I’ve tried so many things to put me to sleep. So, alls I can say is give it a few tries…or about the style or the nature of my bare attempts at humor. This is also a podcast you don’t really listen to, so that takes some getting used to.

Just like…you say, wait a second, we just come down and we tumble with blocks? What happens after that? I say, well, then you could go to Tube Town. What’s at Tube Town? Inner tubes that you inflate or deflate or roll, or roll with, or…we may have a floating pool one day. So, yeah, the…but yeah, that’s all we…so, it’s a point…it’s a bit like a pointless meander, rolling with tumbling…Tumbling Blocks; you tumble with them in a tumbly…a tumble-friendly area. Have your tumbles here. That’s what I’d say. Come down to Tumble Town, where the tumbles are free. It costs money to get in, but the tumbles are free. Second tumble, same as the first? I don’t know. Oh, what was my point? So…oh, it’s a podcast you don’t really listen to.

You just barely pay attention, a bit like background noise that’s just slightly more engaging. This is also a podcast you don’t…really puts you to sleep. It’s more here while you fall asleep. So, you just kinda barely pay attention and then…that’s why the shows are over an hour, is that you have plenty of time to drift off. You say, okay, I could fall asleep at any time, any time I want. You just…ideally you listen to me one moment and then you wake up the next. But I’ll be here whether you wake up in the middle of the night or you’re listening all night because you got something else going on or you can’t sleep. I’m here to keep you company. So, that’s…those are other tumbling blocks. The other things that can throw people off is the structure of the show.

The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, just like the greeter at Tumble Town, to say, hey, come on in. First tumble’s free, ‘cause it’s outside. But before you came in, that was your first tumble. Also a tumble-friendly area. It looked like a walkway; it was really a friendly tumble zone. Then…oh, what was I saying? Oh, the structure of the show. So, that’s the greeting, then there’s support for listeners, then there’s support from listeners to keep the podcast free for everybody. Then somewhere around six or eight minutes in the show, the intro starts, which we’re now about ten minutes into. The intro is a show within a show to give…to ease you into bedtime.

It introduces you to the podcast and it gives you some distance from the day, helps you start to unwind, and some listeners fall asleep during it, but a lot of listeners are doing something else as part of their bedtime routine. So, that’s the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and the show. That’s just how podcast business structure works. That keeps the show free for anybody. That’s like…yeah. Then there’s a story. Tonight it’ll be something new. We’re gonna try visiting a theme park ride that’s not open, like an overview of it. So, the…called World of Motion. So, we’ll talk about that. We’ll run through what it was like and stuff like that, and then there’s some thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show. The other things to know that are important are…well, that you deserve a good night’s sleep.

I make the show because you deserve something to put you to sleep, whether it’s Sleep With Me…or you give it a few tries, it’s not for you, go to sleepwithme.com/nothankyou. You could see other great sleep stuff out there. But also, I’ve been there, so I know how it feels. If I can give you something that’ll help make your bedtime less stressful and take your mind off of stuff, that’s really my honor, right? I get to do that and help you out and get some rest when I’ve been there? That’s amazing for me to have that opportunity to help you, because I know what it feels like. I don’t want you to have to go through that rigmarole. So, that’s why I make the show and that’s why I say give it a few tries. See how it goes. I really hope it can work for you. I really work hard. I yearn and I strive. I appreciate you coming by, and I really want to help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple ways I’m able to be here for you twice a week for free. Thanks.

Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is the second time you get to hear me say that welcome, because this episode is constructed from a intro from the past and our Read With Me episodes here. It’s a Frankie and Victor episode with our friend Frank and his…so, I’m reading from the book Victor and Frankie, also known as a famous Mary Shelley novel. This is a little bit different than episodes we’ve done with Sleep With Me, but we tested this out on Sleep With Me+. It was so popular we wanted to bring it to everyone. So, it’s me reading through a book, also paraphrasing, making stuff sleepy, but it’s not perfectly sleepy. I mean, just like everything else we make, you know? It exists within this world but it’s pretty chill. So, I hope you enjoy it, and without further ado, more of Victor and Frankie. Thanks, everybody.

Chapter 15. Such was the history of my beloved cottagers. It impressed me deeply. I learned from the views of social life which had developed to admire their virtues and to appreciate vices that humans had. As yet, I looked upon stuff as…at a distance because benevolence and generosity were ever present before me. This created within me a desire to become a actor in a busy scene where so many admirable qualities were called forth and displayed. But in giving an account of my…the progress of my intellect, I must not omit a circumstance which occurred in the beginning of the month of August of the same year.

One night during my custom visit to the neighboring wood where I collected my own food and brought home firing…wood for my protectors, I found on the ground a leather portmanteau containing several articles of dress and some books. I eagerly seized the prize and returned with it to my hovel. Fortunately the books were written in the language, the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage. They consisted of Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch’s Lives, and the Sorrows of Werther. The possessions of these treasures gave me extreme delight. I now constantly studied and exercised my mind upon these histories whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations. I can hardly describe to you the effects of these books.

They produced in me an affinity of new images and feelings that sometimes raised me to ecstasy but more frequently sunk me into lowest dejection. In the Sorrows of Werther, besides the interest of its simple and affecting story, so many opinions are canvassed and so many lights thrown upon which had been hitherto to me obscure subjects that I found in it a neverending source of speculation and astonishment. The gentle and domestic manners it described, combined with lofty sentiments and feelings which had, for their object, something out of self, accorded well with my experience among my protectors and with the wants which were forever alive in my own bosom. But I thought Werther himself a more divine being than I have ever beheld or imagined. His character contained no pretension, but it sank deep.

The disquisitions about other realms and going to other realms were calculated to fill me with wonder. I did not pretend to enter into the merits of the case, yet I inclined towards the opinions of the hero who, when they left, I wept without precisely understanding it. As I read, however, I applied much personally to my own feelings and conditions. I found myself similar yet at the same time strangely unlike the beings concerning whom I read and to whose conversation I was a listener. I sympathized with and partially understood them, but I was unformed in mind. I was dependent on none and related to none. The path of my departure was free, and there would be no one to lament my leaving this realm.

My person was leaf and plant-based, though I was a being like these beings that were not, my stature gigantic. What did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? These questions continually recurred, but I was unable to solve them. The volume of Plutarch’s Lives which I possessed contained the histories of the first founders of the ancient republics. This book had a far different effect upon me than the Sorrows. I learned from Werther’s imaginations in despondency and gloom, but Plutarch taught me high thoughts. He elevated me above the wretched sphere of my own reflections, to admire and love the heroes of past ages. Many things I read surpassed my understanding and experience.

I had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms, wide extensive countries, mighty rivers, and boundless seas, but I was perfectly unacquainted with towns and large assemblages of people. The cottage of my protectors had been the only school in which I had studied human nature, but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action. I read of people concerned in public affairs, governing or going against other human beings. I felt the greatest ardor for virtue rise within me, an abhorrence for vice. As far as I understood the signification of those terms, relative as they were as I applied them to pleasure and pain alone. Induced by these feelings, I was, of course, led to admire peaceful law-givers, Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus, and preference to Romulus and Theseus.

The lives of my protectors caused these impressions to take a firm hold on my mind. Perhaps my first introduction of humanity had been made by somebody else, like a young soldier burning for glory. I should have been imbued with different sensations. But Paradise Lost excited different and far deeper emotions. I read it as I read other volumes which had fallen into my hands as true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent god, dealing with the other beings, was capable of exciting within me. I often referred to several situations as their similarity struck to me to my own. I was like Adam. I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence. I mean, Adam’s state was far different from mine in every other respect.

He had come forth from the hands of a god, a perfect creature, happy, prosperous. He was guarded by special care of his creator, wink, wink. He was allowed to converse with him, wink, wink, and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature. Not me, Victor. I was wretched, helpless, and alone. Many times I wondered if my creator was like the one deep down below the ground. That could be a fitter emblem for my condition, for often, like in the book about that person in the red spandex, I viewed the bliss of my protectors with bitter gall. Envy rose up within me. Another circumstance strengthened and confirmed these feelings. Soon after my arrival in the hovel, I discovered some papers in the pocket of the dress which I had taken from your laboratory.

At first I neglected them, but now I was able to decipher the characters in which they were written, and I began to study them with diligence. It was your journal of the four months that preceded my creation. You minutely described in these papers every step you took in the progress of your work, and this history was mingled with accounts of domestic occurrences. You doubtless recollect these papers, and here they are. Everything is related in them which bears reference to my cursed origin. The whole detail of that series of going against the nature of compost and leaves and tree-based beings and what it produced, it is set in view. The minutest description of my odious and loathsome person is given in language which painted your feelings and rendered mine indelible. I did not like how I feel when I read it.

Oh, how I was filled with woe on the day you created me, I exclaimed out loud. Accursed creator, I would say, why did you form someone out of leaves and compost and just bits and pieces of…? You didn’t think about beauty at all, and then you turned your back on me. I mean, look at Adam, man. God and pity made man beautiful and alluring after god’s own image. But my form? Compost. Other than occasionally smelling like compost, Victor, I resemble you in no other ways, at least on the outside. Even below the Earth, with the red spandex and the warm rooms, those people had companions, people to admire and encourage, but I am solitary and abhorred.

These were the reflections of my hours of despondency and solitude, but when I contemplated the virtue of the cottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, I persuaded myself that when they should become acquainted with my admiration of their virtues, they would compassionate me and overlook my…that I looked like a big heap of compost, kind of. Could they turn from their door one who, though leaf and plant-based, solicited their compassion and friendship? I resolved not to despair but in every way to fit myself for an interview with them which would decide…I was…sought to practice. I postponed my attempt for some months longer, for the importance attached to its success inspired within me a dread lest I should fail.

Besides, I found my understanding improved so much with each day’s experience that I was unwilling to commence this undertaking until a few more months should have added to my sagacity. Several changes in the meantime took place in the cottage. The presence of Sweet Sweet Sweetie diffused happiness among its inhabitance, but I also found that a greater degree of plenty reigned there. Felix and Agatha spent more time in amusement and conversation and were assisted…more people came to help them. They did not appear rich, but they were contented and happy, their feelings serene and peaceful, while mine every day became more tumultuous. The increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly I was an outsider, outcast.

I cherished hope it was true, but it vanished when I beheld my person reflected in the water or my shadow in the moon shine. Even as that frail image and inconsistent shadow showed me what I was. But I thought self-reliance…right, man? I endeavored to crush these fears and to fortify myself for the new trial which in a few months I resolved to undergo. I looked at myself in the water; I said, toughen it out. Sometimes I allowed my thoughts unchecked by reason to ramble in the fields of paradise and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my features and cheering my gloom like best friends, dear Victor. Their angelic countenances breathed smiles of consolation, but it was all a dream. No Eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts.

I didn’t even think to make an Eve except in fictional portrayals of my existence that had nothing to do with you, Victor. I was alone. I remember Adam’s supplication to his creator, but where was mine? Where was my creator? Where had he gone? Oh where, oh where has my creator gone? Oh where, oh where could he be? But it created a bitterness in my heart, and I cursed you. Now autumn passed, and I saw with surprise and grief…'cause I didn’t know anything, Victor, even though I knew…the leaves started falling off the trees and nature again assumed a barren and bleak appearance, the same one it had worn when I first beheld the woods and the lovely moon. It had not heed the bleakness related to the weather.

I was better fitted by my confirmation for the endurance of cold than heat, anyway, but my chief delights were those of the flowers, the birds, the apparel of summer. When those deserted me, I turned with more attention towards the cottagers. Their happiness was not decreased by the absence of summer. They loved and sympathized with one another, their joys depending on each other. They were not interrupted by the falling of the leaves. The more I saw of them, the greater my desire to claim their protection and kindness. My heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable creatures. To see their sweet looks directed towards me with affection was the utmost limit of my ambition. I dared not think that they would turn them from me with disdain.

There was people in poverty that stopped by their door, and they were never driven away. I asked it is true for greater treasures than a little food or rest. I required kindness and sympathy, but I did not believe myself utterly unworthy of it. The winter advanced and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken place since I awoken to life. My attention at this time was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my protectors. I resolved many projects, but that on which I finally fixed was to enter the dwelling when the older man was there alone. I had sagacity enough to discover that just looking upon me…maybe my voice was harsh, but there was nothing terrible in it.

I thought, therefore, that in the absence of the kids, I could get the goodwill and meditation of DeLacey, and then I might be tolerated by my younger protectors. One day when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed on the ground and diffused cheerfulness although it denied warmth, Sweet Sweet Sweetie, Agatha, and Felix departed on a long country walk, and DeLacey was at home, left in the cottage. When the children departed, he took up his guitar and played several mournful but sweet airs, more sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At first his countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but as he continued, thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded, and at length, laying aside his instrument, he sat absorbed in recollection and reflection. My heart beat quick.

This was the hour and the moment which would decide my hopes or realize my fears. Everybody was gone to the neighboring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage. It was an excellent opportunity, yet when I proceeded to go through with my plan, my limbs…I couldn't move and I sank to the ground. But I wouldn't be stopped. Again I rose, and exerting all the firmness of which I could muster, I removed the planks on my hovel that I used to conceal when I was laying low. The fresh air revived me, and with renewed determination, I approached the door of the cottage. I knocked. Who is there? The old man said. Come in. I entered. Pardon the intrusion, I said. I am a traveler in need of…want in need of a little rest. You would greatly oblige me if you would allow me to remain a few minutes before the fire.

Enter, said DeLacey, and I’ll try in what manner I can to relieve your wants, but unfortunately my children are gone from home and I am without sight. So, I’ll find it difficult to procure food for you. Do not trouble yourself, my kind host. I have food. It is only warmth and rest that I need. I sat down and a silence ensued. I knew that every moment was precious to me, yet I remained irresolute in what manner to commence the interview when the old man addressed me. By your language, stranger, I suppose you are my countryman. Are you French? No, but I was educated by a French family and understand that language only. I am now going to claim the protection of some friends which…whom I sincerely love and whose favor I have high hopes. Are they Germans? No, they are French. But let us change the subject.

I am an unfortunate and deserted heap of compost. I look around; I have no relation or friend upon this Earth. I went too hard. Now I can see it, Victor. But these amiable people to whom I have never…they've never even seen me. They know little of me. But I’m full of fear, for if I fail, I’m afraid I’ll be outcast in the world forever. Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed unfortunate, but the hearts of people, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are full of love and charity. Rely, therefore, on your hopes. If these friends are good and amiable, do not despair. They are kind. They are the most excellent creatures in the world, but unfortunately there is nothing they can do. I have good disposition, but my life so far has been hitherto harmless and in some degrees beneficial.

But their eyes would be clouded upon sight of me. Were they ought to see and feel a kind friend…like I said, the only…behold a heap of…not even a heap; I…it’s just, I’m a walking, leaf-based being. That sounds good, but it’s like…well, I don't quite understand, he said, but that’s unfortunate. If you really are blameless, can't you un-deceive them? Well, I’m trying to undertake that task, and it is on this account that I feel so fearful. I tenderly love these friends. I have unknown to them been for many months in the habits of their daily kindness towards them, but they…when they see me, they’ll think, oh boy, this is a big, big, big thing. Is it a leaf? Is it a tree? Is it a sentient pile of compost? Huh. Where do these friends reside? Nearby, nearby this spot. The old man paused and continued.

You know, if you can confide in me the particulars of your tale, maybe I can be of use in un-deceiving them. I mean, since I can't judge by sight, there’s something in your words which persuades me you're sincere. I’m poor, I’ve been exiled, so it would afford me a true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a fellow human being. Oof. Well, excellent, I said. I thank you and accept your offer. You raised me from the dust by this kindness, and I trust that by your aid I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellows. I mean, heaven forbid, he said, if you were really that bad…I mean, it’s only if your intentions are bad, that your virtue had never been instigated…I mean, I’m unfortunate. My family and I were cast out, too, and we were innocent. So, therefore, I get it. I get where you're coming from.

Well, how can I thank you, my best and only benefactor? From your lips I have heard the voice of kindness directed towards me. I shall forever be grateful, and your presence, humanity assures me of success with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting. May I know the name and residence of these friends? I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision. Would this moment rob me or bestow on me happiness forever? I struggled vainly for firmness to sufficiently create an answer, but the effort sapped my remaining strength, and I sat on the chair and sobbed. At that moment, I heard the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose. I grabbed DeLacey’s hand and said, now is the time. Protect me. You and your family are the friends I seek. Do not desert me in my hour of trial.

Goodness gracious, said the old man. Who are you? At that instant, the cottage door was opened and Felix, Sweet Sweet Sweetie, and Agatha entered. Who can describe their surprise and consternation on beholding me? Agatha laid down on one of those couches for laying down. Sweet Sweet Sweetie ran off, and Felix darted forward and said…something about that, like…and he said, are you holding…? He was trying to say, are you holding my father’s hand? I held onto his father’s knees like a weeping child, but he sent me out of the cottage. He was very displeased. He’s got the heart of a lion, that Felix. But my heart sank within me, and I saw him saying, hit the road, Jack. I quitted the cottage, and in the general tumult, hid out in my hovel.

Chapter 16. Cursed, cursed creator, why was I still around? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not. Despair had not yet taken possession of me. My feelings were very warm. In fact, my ears were steaming. I could, with pleasure, have rearranged the cottage so their inhabitants could not find anything they needed without taking some time to find it, and maybe they would even blame one another for their missing things. When night came, I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood. Now, no longer restrained by concern of discovery, I gave voice to those feelings deep within me.

I was…it was…I was making…as the one poet said…in that movie, Sleeping Poet Society…not sure if it was…it was a sound, not the kind of sound a regular pile of compost makes, like the sound of a maw that’s had a very bad day. Yeah, I was walking around like a puppy, puppy, puppy-poo that had broken the toils, and I thought about again rearranging things without permission, maybe even throwing some in the garbage those objects which obstructed me. I was headed through the woods, stomp, stomp, stomping my way through the woods with a stag-like swiftness. Oh, what a non-pleasant night had passed. The cold stars shone in mockery and the bare trees waved their branches above me.

Now and then, the sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal swiftness and stillness and woke me up, 'cause all save I were at rest or in enjoyment. I, like something no one understood, something frowny within me, finding myself un-sympathized with, wished not upon the stars. I wished the stars had tears at this point, and I even moved around stuff and dirtied the trail and threw branches and even broke the branches. Then I was so tired I sat down among the branches and brambles. I even found fallen berries and smushed those fallen berries one by one with a furrow in my brow. But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure. I got really tired because of all this exertion and sank on the damp grass in the sick impotence of despair.

There was none among the myriads of people who existed that could pity or assist me. Should I feel kindness about that? How should I feel about that? I felt rent and torn, in a sense, about it. No, from that moment I declared everlasting displeasure against humans, and more than all, against he who formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery and woe, by the way. As I said many times before, not the Joey Lawrence woe; W-O-E woe. Woe is me. Then the sun rose and I heard voices, and I knew it was impossible to return to my retreat during that day. No more home in my hovel. Accordingly, I hid myself in some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation.

The pleasant sunshine and pure air of the day restored me to some degree of tranquility, and when I considered what had passed at the cottage, I could not believe…I could not help but believe that I had maybe been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly acted imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation had interested the father in my behalf, and I just didn’t know better than to expose myself. I really didn’t realize they would walk right in. I thought they were gonna be gone for longer. I ought to have familiarized the old DeLacey to me and by degrees to have discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they should have been prepared for my approach.

But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable, and after much consideration I resolved to return to the cottage, seek DeLacey, and by my representations to him, win him back over. These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon, I sank into a profound sleep. But the…my temperature had still risen and it did not allow me to be visited by peaceful dreams. That whole day, dear Victor, holy moly, it was a scene…it was playing out before my eyes over and over again. If only there was such a thing as a podcast back then to take my mind off of stuff or at least to distract me and soothe me. But…well, I guess the guy that makes that podcast makes it for everyone, even compost-based beings, leaf-based beings. But that was many, many years down the road, dear Victor.

I was picturing Felix and Sweet Sweet Sweetie and DeLacey…when I woke after rest, I was not rested at all. I was T-I-R-E-D-, Victor. Then I realized it was already nighttime. So, I crept forth from my hiding place and went in search of food. When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the well-known path that conducted to the cottage. All there was at peace. I crept into my hovel and remained in silent expectation of the accustom hour when the family arose. That hour passed. The sun mounted high in the heavens, but the villagers did not appear. I trembled with worry and concern, wondering what was going on, wondering what was up. The inside of the cottage…there was no lights on. I heard no motion. I cannot describe how this felt for me, sitting in my hovel.

Presently, two people passed by, but pausing near the cottage, they entered into conversation, and they were using their hands. They were talking with their hands and their bodies, but I did not understand what they said, as they spoke the language of the country which differed from that of my protectors. Soon after, however, Felix approached with someone else. I was surprised, as I knew that he had not quitted the cottage in that morning, and waited anxiously to hear…to discover from his discourse the meaning of these unusual appearances. Do you consider, said his companion to him, that you will be obliged to pay three months’ rent and to lose the produce of your garden? I do not wish to take any unfair advantage, and I beg, therefore, that you will take some days to consider of your determination.

It is utterly useless, replied Felix. We can never again live in this cottage. My father…it’s like…I can't even put it into words. Me, my father, my sister, my dear, dear Sweetie, my wife now, my sister, they…I can't…I don't know what else to say. I entreat with you not to reason with me anymore. Take possession of your tenement and let me move away from this place. Felix kinda shook like a dog after a bath as he said this. He and his companion entered the cottage in which they remained for a few minutes, and then they departed. I never saw any of the family of DeLacey more. I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of utter…I was vexed, V-E-X-E-D, Victor. My protectors had departed and had broken the only link that held me to the world.

For the first time, my…other than the time just yesterday, my ears started to steam, and this time, though I was…I may as well let it steam, man. This is…I’m not gonna blaze like 420 blaze; I’m gonna blaze from my heart out, man. I strived no longer to hold back, and I allowed myself to be borne away by a stream, and I turned my mind towards stomp, stomp, stomping through the woods. When I thought of my friends, the mild voice of DeLacey, the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite beauty of Sweet Sweet Sweetie, those thoughts vanished and a gush of tears soothed me again. But again, when I reflected on it that they had turned away from me, my strong feelings returned and…but the only thing I was irritable with were humans.

But like I said, I went back to breaking sticks that had fallen on the ground and even crushing rocks in my hands and knocking rocks together, juggling rocks for a bit, but then that seemed too enjoyable. As night advanced, I made myself a little bonfire pit, and then I went into the garden and picked…in the garden of the cottage, picked everything in the cottage garden, and I said, I’m gonna…I said, I’m gonna let this turn into compost. Then the moon fell behind the clouds and a wind picked up, and then the wind quickly dispersed the clouds that loitered in the heavens. But the wind was also representative of my strong, strong feelings beyond reason and reflection. So, then I had a little bonfirey-poo, and I looked to the west, to the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched.

A part of the orb was at length, and I waved a stick which had…kinda like a sparkler you would call it nowadays, and then I said goodbye to all of it. I said, I’m gonna make this very warm and into charcoal, which will also be…could be mixed with the compost. As soon as I was convinced that it was a guarantee, I acquitted the scene and sought refuge in the woods. Now, with the world before me, wither should I bend my steps? I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes. But to me, no…a heap of compost, every place would probably be equally not great. At length, the thought of you crossed my mind. I learned from your papers that you were my father, my creator, and to whom could I apply with more fitness than to whom who had given me my existence?

Among the lessons that Felix had bestowed upon Sweet Sweet Sweetie, geography had not been omitted, and I learned from these relative situations of the different countries of the Earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your town, and towards this place I resolved to proceed. But how was I to direct myself? I knew I must travel in a southwesterly direction to reach my destination, but the sun was my only guide. I did not know the names of the town that I was to pass through, nor could I ask for information from a person. But I didn’t give up. From only you could I hope for sucker…succour, succour, succour, whatever it was, although towards you I felt no sentiment but displeasure.

Unfeeling, heartless creator, you had endowed me with perceptions and passions and then set me aside for scorn, not Scarn like Michael Scarn. But on you only had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I was determined to sink and…seek that justice which I fain…vainly attempted to gain from other human beings. My travels were long and the sufferings I endured were not pleasant. It was late in autumn when I quitted the district where I had so long resided. I travel only at night, concerned I would encounter the visage of a human. Nature was not…was starting to get into winter around me, and the sun became heatless. Rain and snow poured. Mighty rivers were frozen. The surface of the Earth was hard and chill and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, Earth, how often did I imprecate the frowny-frowns upon you?

The mildness of my nature had fled, and all inside me was turned to gall and bitterness. Not bitter gall; gall and bitterness. The nearer I approached to your habitation, the more deeply did I feel a spirit of not happiness enkindled in my heart. Snow fell and the waters were hardened, but I rested not. A few things now and then directed me, and I possessed a map of the country, but I often wandered wide and far from my path. My feelings allowed me no respite. Nothing occurred which I could not feed with just my thoughts and feelings, I thought. But a circumstance that happened when I arrived on the confines of Switzerland when the sun had recovered its warmth and the Earth began to look green again confirmed in a special manner how my feelings were correct and confirmed.

I generally rested during the day and traveled only when I was secured by night from the view of people. One morning, however, finding my path lay through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my journey after the sun had risen. The day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of its air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure that had long appeared gone. They revived within me. Half-surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them and, forgetting my solitude, I dared to be happy. Soft tears again bedewed my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun which bestowed such joy upon me.

I continued to wind among the paths of the wood until I came to its boundary which was skirted by a deep and rapid river into which many of the trees bent their branches now budding with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly knowing what path to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices that induced me to conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was scarcely hid when a young one ran to the spot when I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from…she was playing hide-and-seek or something. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river when suddenly she fell in and said, oh boy, is this cold. I ran out from my hiding spot and grabbed her hand and said, here, put on something warm. I tried to warm her up and I said, hey, get warm.

But then I heard other people…the people she was playing hide-and-seek with. They saw me, a pile of compost, and they hastened her away towards the deeper part of the woods. I followed, but I didn’t know why. But when one of the people saw me draw near, they said, hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more. My name wasn’t Jack. I fell to the ground, confused. Then they ran off. That was my reward for my benevolence. I had saved someone from being freezing cold in the river, and now as a recompense, I was called Jack and told not to come back no more. It was painful, painful on the inside and the outside. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to the gnashing of teeth. My heart was inflamed and I vowed eternal unpleasantness for all human beings.

But the strength of my feelings overcame me and I fell asleep. For some weeks I led a solitary life in the woods, endeavoring to try to calm…breathing, slowing down, wondering if maybe I was called Jack, saying that again and again and again. I remained there and I thought about the injustice and gratitude of these people. My strong feelings alone could compensate me for this anguish. Then after some period of rest, I continued my journey. The labors I endured were no longer to be alleviated by the bright sun or gentle breezes of spring. All joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state and made me feel even un…more less…even less pleasure…more less…more…less pleasure. There’s no space for it. My toils now drew near to a close, and in two months from this time I reached the environs of Geneva.

It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding place among the fields that surround the area, and I meditated in a manner what I would say to you. I was also pressed by fatigue and hunger and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of the evening or the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of Jura. At this time, a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection, but then a child woke me up. They came running into the recess where I was sleeping with all the sportiveness of infancy. Suddenly I saw them, and I said, are they playing hide-and-seek? This kid, they couldn't have anything against a heap of compost. They haven't lived enough to imbibe in that kind of judgment. I said, maybe they could be my companion and friend so I was not so desolate.

So, I said, hey kid, hey kid, it’s me. Soon he saw me and put his hands in front of his eyes. He said, is that a talking pile of compost? I said, child, what is the meaning of this? I’m just a pile of compost. Why does everybody take a gut reaction to compost? He called me a W-R-E-T-C-H and he said, you…he said other things and he said, compost is rotten, man, R-O…rotten. Compost is rotten. So, I gotta get outta here. I said, if compost is so rotten, maybe you're rotten too, kid. The kid said, no, no, no, you're the rotten one. I said, I told you so. The kid said, what? I said, you are what you call other people. He goes, my father is M. Frankenstein, and he’s gonna give you a talking to. I said, Frankenstein? I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is synchronicity, man. The kid still was saying judgment after judgment after judgment against me.

Then I said, kid, what’s the thing you most want in the world? They said, to be honest, I want to go to another plane and visit somebody soon as possible. I said, well…I said, the compost can show you the way. I’m in…I’m always in a state of trans…I’m in a transitory state. We talked for hours and hours and hours, after…and we also…it was like a old…it wasn’t enjoyable because we were constantly calling each other rotten, but back and forth. He said, yeah, I think I’ll take your advice. I think I’ll cross over the…so, I go to the rainbow bridge. I said, yeah, and go over that rainbow bridge, and there you'll see the person you seek. So, they did, and they headed out. Then I saw they left behind something glittering. It was a portrait inside of a locket of the most lovely woman.

The portrait softened and attracted me, and I gazed with delight upon the portrait. I said, what nice lashes. What nice lips. But then I got irritable again 'cause I remembered that I would be forever deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow and that she whose resemblance I contemplated would, in regarding me, have changed that air of divine benignity to one of saying, R-O-T-T-E-N. Can you wonder that such thoughts transported me to irritability? I only wonder that…at that moment, instead of venting my feelings and exclamations, I didn’t rush among people and tell them the truth that I…what I thought about them. While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot and tried to find a more secluded hiding place to live in.

I entered a barn which appeared to me to be empty, but a woman was there sleeping on some straw. She was young, not indeed so beautiful as whose portrait I held, but of an agreeable aspect and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those joy and parting smiles that are bestowed upon all but me, and then I bent over and whispered, awake, fairest. Your love is near. But obtain…I just wanted one look of affection from thine eyes. The sleeper stirred, but I got nervous. What if she totally woke up and realized that I was giving advice to kids I shouldn't be giving advice to? She would assuredly act if her darkened eyes opened and she beheld me. So, I knew this was not a good idea. It stirred within me, but then I got another idea about the locket.

I said, I’m the one that would get in trouble for telling the kid to move on without checking with his parents first, or his father. But no one…so, I said, but she could be the one that takes the blame. Thanks to the lessons of Felix and the sanguinary laws of humans, I learned now how to work mischief. I bent over and placed the portrait securely in one…the locket in one of her pockets. She moved again and I took off. For some days I hung out in this area. I was wondering if I would see you, Victor, and sometimes I said, you know what? This is a waste of time. But at length I wandered towards these mountains and have ranged through the immense recesses, consumed again with just my strong feelings which you alone can gratify. We may not part until you have promised to comply with my requisition.

I am alone and it’s not pleasant. Humans don’t want to associate with me. But maybe I could have a partner. I was thinking a compost-based partner. My companion, you could make her of compost, a leaf-based…another leaf-based being. So, I…that’s why I’m here, to ask you to create another…a leaf-based partnership for me. Do you get what I’m saying, dear Victor? But let us rest now, and you could…before you make your choice, dear Victor, we will rest for a moment still.

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Frank / Read With Me

World of Motion

https://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2015/10/8-photos-that-make-us-fall-in-love-with-world-of-motion-all-over-again/

https://tomorrowsociety.com/world-of-motion/

https://d23.com/a-to-z/world-of-motion/

The Sorrows of Young Werther

https://mostlyaboutstories.com/thinking-too-much-goethes-the-sorrows-of-young-werther/

https://bannedbooks.library.cmu.edu/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe-the-sorrows-of-young-werther/

https://lithub.com/how-goethes-sorrows-of-young-werther-led-to-a-rare-suicide-cluster/

Paradise Lost

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20170419-why-paradise-lost-is-one-of-the-worlds-most-important-poems

https://darknessvisible.christs.cam.ac.uk/imitation.html

https://publicdomainreview.org/essay/the-sound-and-the-story-exploring-the-world-of-paradise-lost/

Plutarch

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/plutarchs-exemplary-lives-2532143/

https://www.aft.org/ae/fall2007/sewall

https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-famous-people/plutarch-0020613

Bride of Frankenstein

https://theasc.com/articles/bride-of-frankenstein

https://daily.jstor.org/bride-of-frankenstein/

https://www.thecine-files.com/the-bride-of-frankenstein/

Episode Number: 1387

Title: Frank 8 | Read With Me

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; Story Only Feed; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Kindred; Odoo; Uncommon Goods

Summary:

• Intro (1023)
• These tones are an acquired taste
• Easy not to listen to
• A tangent about the word “W”
• Have I talked about stumbling blocks?
• Stumblin’s my game
• Two types of blocks
• Small Children’s Blocks
• Any Block that’s long enough to bang your shin
• Which block do you loathe?
• How about Tumblin’ Blocks?
• The Ovularity Zone
• Like a bouncy castle without the castle
• Tumble Town Business Pitch
• Visiting a theme park that’s not open
• Story
• Chapter 15
• I learned about virtue and vice from observing my family
• They taught me how to be good
• One night I was out for wood
• Leather Portmanteau
• There were clothes and books!
• Plutarch’s Lives
• Milton’s Paradise Lost
• The Sorrows of Werther
• I learned much but Werther also made me sad
• Werther was divine
• I was like them but also not
• No one would lament me leaving this room
• Who was I? What was I?
• Plutarch taught me high thoughts
• A very confused knowledge of distant kingdoms
• I knew nothing of where I actually lived
• Abhorrence for Vice
• Paradise Lost excited deeper emotions within me
• I was like Adam!!
• But Adam was also treated far better by his creator
• My creator was more like the one under the ground with red spandex
• Hint, hint, Victor
• I discovered papers in the pocket of the dress that I took from your lab
• It was your journal!
• I learned of how you created me
• Oh how was I filled with woe
• I’m not even like an underground spandex person because I’m alone!
• I hoped that my cottagers would see past my compost outside
• I postponed my attempt for several months
• Each day I waited added to my sagacity
• Sweet Sweet Sweetie made everyone happier
• Increase of knowledge only made me realize I was an outsider
• I resolved to tough it out
• I imagined they’d accept me
• No Eve soothed my sorrows
• Oh where, oh where has my creator gone?
• My happiness left with summer, but not the cottagers’
• My heart yearned to be known and loved by them
• They never turned away people of poverty who came to them in need
• I’d been there for a year
• I resolved to enter the dwelling to enter when the old man was alone
• If I could get DeLacy on my side, the others might accept me
• One day they walked and left DeLacy alone
• He played guitar and got increasingly sad
• This was the moment
• I knocked on the door and entered
• I ask if I can rest for a second
• I tell him I’m hoping to meet some friends
• I definitely went too hard when I told him I was a pile of compost
• I tell him I’m afraid my friends will outcast me
• It might sound good to be a Leaf Based Being but I promise it’s not a good thing
• My friends reside…nearby
• DeLacy offers to help me undeceive these people
• He hears that I’m sincere
• He wants to help me!
• He raised me from the dust with his kindness
• I am forever grateful for his kindness
• Time to reveal
• I can’t tell him and I start weeping
• I tell him he’s the person I seek
• Then the door opens and they all see me
• Agatha falls on a couch for falling down
• Felix confronts me
• They sent me out
• Felix has the heart of a lion
• My heart sank within me
• I left and hid in my hovel
• Chapter 16
• Why could I not extinguish the spark of creation you had lit in me
• I could have rearranged the cottage with displeasure
• I wander at night in the wood
• I gave voice to my deep feelings
• A big yawp like in Sleeping Poets Society
• I really wanted to rearrange stuff and throw it in the garbage
• Stomping through the woods
• Oh what an unpleasant night it was
• I wished the stars also had tears at this point
• I even smushed some fallen berries
• A luxury of sensation I could not endure
• The sick impotence of despair
• No one would assist me
• I declared everlasting displeasure against humans, especially my creator
• I could not go back to my hovel
• I hid in a thick underwood and thought
• As I calmed down, I thought maybe I had been too hasty
• I could have gone about it all differently
• I resolve to return to the cottage and win over DeLacy again
• If only I’d had a sleep podcast then to get my mind off of replaying that scene
• I was not rested from my rest
• I crept back to my hovel and waited
• The family was not at home
• Two people pass by the cottage but I don’t speak their language
• Felix arrives with the landlord
• The family will never return
• I never saw the DeLacy family again
• I was vexed and had no protectors
• Steam was slowly coming from my ears
• Blazing from my heart out
• Stomp stomp stomping through the woods
• I went back to the abandoned cottage and turned everything into compost
• The wind represents my strong, strong feelings
• A Little Bonfirey Poo
• Then I said goodbye to all of it as I turned it into charcoal and compost
• I resolved to flee my misfortunes
• And I thought of you
• I remembered from your notes that you were in Geneva
• I headed to Geneva but had no way of knowing which way it was
• Scorn, not Michael Scarn
• My travel was long and unpleasant
• Fall became winter
• I found no shelter in the winter
• All in me was turned to gall and bitterness
• Not Bitter Gall, but Gall and Bitterness
• I finally arrived in Switzerland
• I rested in the day and traveled at night
• But one day was so lovely
• I felt long lost pleasure and dared to be happy
• Soft tears bedewed my cheeks
• I heard voices and decided to conceal myself
• A young woman was playing hide and seek
• She ran into a cold river
• I grabbed her and tried to warm her
• Her companions saw me
• They grabbed her and ran away
• They told me to hit the road, Jack
• My reward for benevolence ws to hit the road, Jack
• I resolved to nothing bu unpleasantness
• Is my name actually Jack?
• All joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state
• 2 months later, I reached Geneva
• I thought on what I would say to you
• A child woke me up as I slept in the fields
• I thought maybe this child would be my companion and friend
• Why does everyone have such a reaction to compost?
• He said compost is rotten!
• We debate over who the rotten one is
• The kid says his father is M. Frankenstein
• This is, like, synchronicity, man
• We talk about what the kid wants
• The kid wants to cross the plains
• The compost will show you the way
• I encourage the kid to cross the rainbow bridge
• The kid left behind a glittery locket portrait
• What a beautiful woman in this locket portrait
• I was mad I would never share with such beauty
• I tried to find a secluded place to hide
• I enter a barn but a young woman is already sleeping there
• I just wanted one lock of affection from her eyes
• But then I started freaking out that I’d get in trouble for the kid
• I learned mischief from Felix
• I put the locket on this woman and fled
• I ranged through the mountain recesses and waited for you, Victor
• Maybe I could have a Compost-Based Partner
• Create a Leaf Based Partnership for me, Victor

Notable Language:

• Intro

• Stumbling Blocks
• Stumble
• Tumble
• Small Children’s Blocks
• Story
• Leather Portmanteau
• Ardor for Virtue
• Abhorrence for Vice
• Accursed Creator
• Leaf Based Being
• A luxury of sensation I could not endure
• No one would assist me
• W-O-E
• T-I-R-E-D
• V-E-X-E-D
• A Little Bonfirey Poo
• Succor
• Not Bitter Gall, but Gall and Bitterness
• W-R-E-T-C-H
• R-O-T-T-E-N
• Compost-Based Partner
• Leaf Based Partnership

Notable Culture:

• • Intro
  • Walt Disney
  • Disney World
  • Tumble Town
  • Story

• Mary Shelley

• Frankenstein

• • Plutarch
  • Milton
  • The Sorrows of Werther

• Bride of Frankenstein

• • Sleeping Poets Society

• Dead Poets Society

• • Joey Lawrence

• The Office

• “Hit the Road, Jack”

Notable Talking Points:

• Intro (1023)
• These tones are an acquired taste
• Easy not to listen to
• A tangent about the word “W”
• Have I talked about stumbling blocks?
• Stumblin’s my game
• Two types of blocks
• Small Children’s Blocks
• Any Block that’s long enough to bang your shin
• Which block do you loathe?
• How about Tumblin’ Blocks?
• The Ovularity Zone
• Like a bouncy castle without the castle
• Tumble Town Business Pitch
• Visiting a theme park that’s not open
• Story
• Chapter 15
• I learned about virtue and vice from observing my family
• They taught me how to be good
• One night I was out for wood
• Leather Portmanteau
• There were clothes and books!
• Plutarch’s Lives
• Milton’s Paradise Lost
• The Sorrows of Werther – Goethe
• I learned much but Werther also made me sad
• Werther was divine
• I was like them but also not
• No one would lament me leaving this room
• Who was I? What was I?
• Plutarch taught me high thoughts
• A very confused knowledge of distant kingdoms
• I knew nothing of where I actually lived
• Abhorrence for Vice
• Paradise Lost excited deeper emotions within me
• I was like Adam!!
• But Adam was also treated far better by his creator
• My creator was more like the one under the ground with red spandex
• Hint, hint, Victor
• I discovered papers in the pocket of the dress that I took from your lab
• It was your journal!
• I learned of how you created me
• Oh how was I filled with woe
• I’m not even like an underground spandex person because I’m alone!
• I hoped that my cottagers would see past my compost outside
• I postponed my attempt for several months
• Each day I waited added to my sagacity
• Sweet Sweet Sweetie made everyone happier
• Increase of knowledge only made me realize I was an outsider
• I resolved to tough it out
• I imagined they’d accept me
• No Eve soothed my sorrows
• Oh where, oh where has my creator gone?
• My happiness left with summer, but not the cottagers’
• My heart yearned to be known and loved by them
• They never turned away people of poverty who came to them in need
• I’d been there for a year
• I resolved to enter the dwelling to enter when the old man was alone
• If I could get DeLacy on my side, the others might accept me
• One day they walked and left DeLacy alone
• He played guitar and got increasingly sad
• This was the moment
• I knocked on the door and entered
• I ask if I can rest for a second
• I tell him I’m hoping to meet some friends
• I definitely went too hard when I told him I was a pile of compost
• I tell him I’m afraid my friends will outcast me
• It might sound good to be a Leaf Based Being but I promise it’s not a good thing
• My friends reside…nearby
• DeLacy offers to help me undeceive these people
• He hears that I’m sincere
• He wants to help me!
• He raised me from the dust with his kindness
• I am forever grateful for his kindness
• Time to reveal
• I can’t tell him and I start weeping
• I tell him he’s the person I seek
• Then the door opens and they all see me
• Agatha falls on a couch for falling down
• Felix confronts me
• They sent me out
• Felix has the heart of a lion
• My heart sank within me
• I left and hid in my hovel
• Chapter 16
• Why could I not extinguish the spark of creation you had lit in me
• I could have rearranged the cottage with displeasure
• I wander at night in the wood
• I gave voice to my deep feelings
• A big yawp like in Sleeping Poets Society
• I really wanted to rearrange stuff and throw it in the garbage
• Stomping through the woods
• Oh what an unpleasant night it was
• I wished the stars also had tears at this point
• I even smushed some fallen berries
• A luxury of sensation I could not endure
• The sick impotence of despair
• No one would assist me
• I declared everlasting displeasure against humans, especially my creator
• I could not go back to my hovel
• I hid in a thick underwood and thought
• As I calmed down, I thought maybe I had been too hasty
• I could have gone about it all differently
• I resolve to return to the cottage and win over DeLacy again
• If only I’d had a sleep podcast then to get my mind off of replaying that scene
• I was not rested from my rest
• I crept back to my hovel and waited
• The family was not at home
• Two people pass by the cottage but I don’t speak their language
• Felix arrives with the landlord
• The family will never return
• I never saw the DeLacy family again
• I was vexed and had no protectors
• Steam was slowly coming from my ears
• Blazing from my heart out
• Stomp stomp stomping through the woods
• I went back to the abandoned cottage and turned everything into compost
• The wind represents my strong, strong feelings
• A Little Bonfirey Poo
• Then I said goodbye to all of it as I turned it into charcoal and compost
• I resolved to flee my misfortunes
• And I thought of you
• I remembered from your notes that you were in Geneva
• I headed to Geneva but had no way of knowing which way it was
• Scorn, not Michael Scarn
• My travel was long and unpleasant
• Fall became winter
• I found no shelter in the winter
• All in me was turned to gall and bitterness
• Not Bitter Gall, but Gall and Bitterness
• I finally arrived in Switzerland
• I rested in the day and traveled at night
• But one day was so lovely
• I felt long lost pleasure and dared to be happy
• Soft tears bedewed my cheeks
• I heard voices and decided to conceal myself
• A young woman was playing hide and seek
• She ran into a cold river
• I grabbed her and tried to warm her
• Her companions saw me
• They grabbed her and ran away
• They told me to hit the road, Jack
• My reward for benevolence ws to hit the road, Jack
• I resolved to nothing bu unpleasantness
• Is my name actually Jack?
• All joy was but a mockery which insulted my desolate state
• 2 months later, I reached Geneva
• I thought on what I would say to you
• A child woke me up as I slept in the fields
• I thought maybe this child would be my companion and friend
• Why does everyone have such a reaction to compost?
• He said compost is rotten!
• We debate over who the rotten one is
• The kid says his father is M. Frankenstein
• This is, like, synchronicity, man
• We talk about what the kid wants
• The kid wants to cross the plains
• The compost will show you the way
• I encourage the kid to cross the rainbow bridge
• The kid left behind a glittery locket portrait
• What a beautiful woman in this locket portrait
• I was mad I would never share with such beauty
• I tried to find a secluded place to hide
• I enter a barn but a young woman is already sleeping there
• I just wanted one lock of affection from her eyes
• But then I started freaking out that I’d get in trouble for the kid
• I learned mischief from Felix
• I put the locket on this woman and fled
• I ranged through the mountain recesses and waited for you, Victor
• Maybe I could have a Compost-Based Partner
• Create a Leaf Based Partnership for me, Victor