1248 – Timeless Sock Puppet | Multiplex Ep4

Episode 1248 – Timeless Sock Puppet | Multiplex Ep4

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that…I say, multiplex, complex…what about no-plex? I don't know what ‘plex’ stands for. Usually during the very beginning of the podcast I shouldn’t look up words, but…I don't know, what’s that called at the end of a word? Plex…meaning…I don't know. What’s that called? Plex meaning…it’s a combined form meaning having parts or units. Complex; many parts, maybe? I don't know. Multiplex; multiple parts, having parts or units. Simplex would be…what are the meanings of plex? A figure, a google…of given power, so math…let’s see here. Aren’t you supposed to be starting a sleep podcast? I am. So, yeah, you’re right. Welcome to Sleep With Me. You might be…you say, holy moly.

 

You probably aren’t saying that, but…maybe saving…maybe saying…like, if you sleep with Beethoven, you might be saying, roll over, Beethoven, but not like that, right? ‘Cause there was movies…I don't know, was that the nineties? There was a giant dog named Beethoven, and I don't know if that was the pitch. They said, you ever…you know, what if you had to share your bed with a giant dog named Beethoven? You say, roll over, Beethoven. So, a bit…not as big as Cliff…great question; not as big as Clifford the Big Red Dog, who was an imaginary giant, red dog, also a star of many films and TV shows, I believe. Beethoven was realistically-sized; no CGI that I know of. I don't know, was that the movie with that actor whose name as soon as I was starting to say it escaped me? Probably. It could be. That’s embarrassing.

 

But you know what’s more embarrassing is I’m supposed to be introducing a sleep podcast. If you’re new, welcome. This is a show that’s always going off topic. It’s called Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to keep you company while you fall asleep. I almost had it; Charles…we’ll come back to it. Oh, I know…no, I know the words that rhyme with his last name, so I’ll get there during the intro. But this is a podcast that’s here to be a friend in the deep, dark night so you could fall asleep, to keep you company while you drift off. It is very different. You’ve already seen that. So, just give it a few tries. See how it goes. We’ve got support coming up; that’s how you get to listen free if you want, there’s…then there’s a long, meandering intro separate from the support where I help ease you into bedtime or as…you can listen as you’re getting ready for bed or getting comfortable, then there will be a bedtime story.

 

Believe it or not, it won't be ‘til twenty, thirty minutes into the show, but that’s how the podcast is designed. So, just see how it goes at first. It is…yeah, like I said, a bit different. Most regular listeners…I would daresay superfans…snoop…snoozer fans, they…I don't know. ‘Nodders’ is what a lot…but so, they…most of them said, hey, I didn’t…it took me two or three tries to realize…to not loathe the show. So, you’re in good…if you already loathe me, you’re in good company. But you…I also have a website set up; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, just in case. That has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. So, welcome to Sleep With Me. I’m so glad you’re here. This is a podcast to put you to sleep, and thanks for making it possible, my bore-friends.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, you know, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, about the past, present, the future, tomorrow, yesterday, today, all those things at once. Multi…Multiplex thoughts…my thoughts have many parts coming…they’re also moving around. I call them brainbots.

 

Brainbot-plex; that’s what I call my gray matter sometimes, full of brainbots, which are…for some reason I came up with that term…is it colloquial? I don't think so. It’s a disarming term for the little parts of me that wake up at bedtime, and they seem to only have a single function, each one of them. They are so cute, which I think they use…but not at bedtime. Any others…like, when I’m talking about them for a sleep podcast…so cute, but they activate right when my head hits that pillow and I say, oh boy, am I comfortable now, going right to sleep. That’s like…and even if I don’t say that so I don’t activate them — I tried that — they go…they activate and then they start moving around and then they start doing stuff like…one’s covering the…many of them covering the past. How many times do you think you’ve spilled your milk?

 

Then another would be like, am I supposed to be part…? You mean spilled your milk in public or in front of people or in front of people…or on yourself? Then another one…past, present, future. That’s why I kinda go through it. So, it could be thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally. Some of my brainbots emote. But really, they know how to activate my…they know how to cause me to emote. They have remotes to make me emote; emotes. I like when I say ‘emotes’. They have remote…they have the remotes that makes me…a remote…makes me mispronounce things. So, feelings, it could be physical sensations, brainbots could be there, too…physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, you could be going through something, have something coming up.

 

Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it because…well, for two reasons; one…and the only reason I list all that stuff is because I know what it’s like in the deep, dark night. Last night was a doozy and it was one of those ones exactly like…I did…all my bedtime routine was ready, I was tired, and they said, it’s a no-go. It wasn’t even ‘til I…I even pushed it; I said, okay, if I try to go to sleep now, I’d get eight hours if I fell asleep fairly soon, but I prob…I’m not feeling that tired, so I’ll keep reading ‘til I feel tired. But I tried to sneak one by the old brainbots there. But yeah, they said, it’s not…yeah.

 

So, I know how it feels tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, and I might not know exactly what you’re going through, but I could tell you I’m pretty sure I can relate to one or two of the feelings, but here’s the thing; even if I can't, there is someone listening…and I’ve been saying this a lot lately; I hope you become one of these people, if this podcast can help you…that you’re leaning in right now…because those people are in the future, because those people are leaning in right now for you, and they’ve been through whatever you’re going through. They know exactly how it feels and they are nodding or they’re huggling their snuggles…huggling their snuggles or whatever, snuggling their huggles or their soft things, or their pillow, but they’re just thinking of you in a soft way and saying, yeah, it’s not easy there.

 

I know how that feels. They also believe — just like I believe — you deserve a bedtime that has less rigmarole, that’s less stressful, that you can look forward to or at least feel neutral about. That’s the whole spirit of the show, is to create a bedtime you could feel neutral about, maybe look forward to, and say, well, at least that I got that odd man talking about nothing. It only took him fifteen minutes to remember Charles Grodin’s name. I did remember it about seven minutes ago, but…no, probably not, 'cause I just looked and it’s only been 9:21 since I’ve been talking, and some of this will probably be edited out. But so…but yeah, so, what was I saying? Oh, you deserve the rest you need so your life is more manageable and that you could be out there in the world flourishing, and we…you deserve that.

 

That’s why I have sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. I can save you the time sending me a strongly-worded e-mail of your distaste in my taste, because you could just try out one of those podcasts and see if they actually help you get some rest, and that’s cool. You’re rested; that’s awesome, 'cause I know how it feels not to be rested. What else do you need to know? What I’m gonna do here is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, which means I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna forget what I was talking about, then I’ll double back and all that stuff, and then I’ll look up…okay, was Charles Grodin…by the way, Charles Grodin…first that I’m aware of…first Robert De Niro movie I ever saw was Midnight Run.

 

Okay…oh boy, this has gotta be…you gotta be kidding me. I can’t even believe I’m reading what I’m seeing or I’m seeing what I’m reading. Charles Grodin, if — I hope you’re lying down for this — was in…I mean, some of you probably knew this, nineties kids…Charles Grodin was in Beethoven in 1992, 1993, Beethoven II, 1994…was in Clifford. I don't know if Clifford the Big…yeah, a ten-year-old boy…oh, Clifford…somebody…a podcast I listened to does…is it Doughboys or Hollywood Handbook or Podcast the Ride? Somebody’s obsessed with Clifford. I’m pretty sure it’s one of those three shows. Oh, 'cause Martin Short is in it. Oh, boy. Yeah, this is one of those movies that supposedly you gotta see. Well, what are the chances?

 

I don't see…here’s the weirdest thing; Clifford’s not on any of the…on the album cover or whatever you want to call it, it’s just Martin Short and Charles Grodin. Mary Steenburgen’s also in it. I don't know, is it…? Maybe this isn’t Clifford the lovely, red dog. Let’s…we gotta…I know we’re making a sleep podcast, but…a ten-year-old boy named Clifford. Oh no, so this has nothing to do with Clifford the Big Red Dog. So, all that stuff I said earlier probably still applies. Okay, let’s look up Clifford, then I’ll unsuccessfully…C-L-I-F-F-O-R-D…let’s see if we put in ‘the’. Yeah, okay, so we got Clifford the Big Red Dog. It came out in 2021…or is a 2000 TV series. There was a 1998 animated series, 2019 TV series, and probably there’s one in the works here. What is this? It’s in development, the sequel.

 

Okay, so, back to the sleep podcast, am I right? Sorry; a little Charles Grodin tangent. Okay, so…oh, I’m gonna send my voice…go off topic…I mean, that’s what I was explaining by doing. But so, this is a podcast that’s not really meant to be listened to with full attention. It’s kind of a podcast that runs like background noise. For example, if you’ve ever listened to a sporting event on the radio or you’ve had the TV on in another room and you’re just kinda listening to it, that’s what this podcast…it doesn't exactly replicate that 'cause it’s kind of more of a friend talking to you. You say, just tell me about your day. Tell me about your life with…how many…how few things you actually know about Charles Grodin. I’d say, well, to take me…I could fit it in a thimble how many things I actually…is this a parable?

 

Yeah, I could fit it all in a thimble, probably, 'cause it’s probably just digital, anyway. So, I could fill more than a thimble, because…I mean, I could go on tangents about tangents. But so, it’s a podcast that you could listen to but you don’t need to, and that is one of the things that takes some getting used to. Also, believe it or not, this is a sleep podcast. Been doing this over ten years, and this is not a podcast that puts you to sleep. I keep you company while you fall asleep. I take your mind off of stuff. I bring your attention over here. I mean, imagine the attention Clifford…an actual Clifford the Big Red Dog would get. That was probably a plot point in the movie. I mean, it would be on the news. I’m not trying to be silly, but it is silly. They’d be like, what’s the last…? Especially if it was localized; like, let’s say it was in Milwaukee.

 

Clifford was territorial in Milwaukee, the biggest dog in the world, obviously gigantic. They’d be like, Clifford went number two today at the town square and got…don't worry, a crew is there cleaning it up. Also, by the way, in our next story we’ll be talking about the 2% restaurant tax for Clifford maintenance. Or maybe it would just be…it would be better as a hotel tax; you’re right. Thanks, pop. Thanks, pop, I just got that it in. It’s gonna be a lodging tax, the Clifford Lodging Tax Act of 1991. Why I picked that year…right around the time Beethoven came out. Holy moly. This kind of stuff usually happens in the middle of the episode. That would make sense though, because Clifford…they’d say, yeah, Clifford’s a draw. You know, people come in from around the world to just share space with Clifford the Big Red Dog.

 

I don't know how you would do that, 'cause Clifford obviously…it’s not a zoo. They’d say, yeah, we’re changing Milwaukee…Clifford…home of Clifford the Big Red Dog, also known as Cliffordville. The Cliffords; that would be a musical act, sporting teams…come on down to the…see the Cliffords perform. Well, which ones, the basketball, the football, the soccer…? Oh, no, no, the improv group, the Cliffords, and…or Clifford’s Red. I don't know. So, anyway…but I just thought about that; if Clifford went number two, it’d probably be…it wouldn’t make the…I guess it couldn’t make the news all the time, obviously. It’d be news to me. I’d be…I mean, I wouldn’t be interested in it. I mean, I guess when I first moved there, I would. Well, you just moved to Milwaukee, home of Clifford the Big Red Dog. What are you gonna do?

 

Come on, man, of course I want to see…I don't want to watch…I just want to see one after it’s done just to…I mean, at a…yeah, yeah, at a distance for sure, son. So, okay…so, now…but lodging tax would be the fair…I mean, I think not fair, but that would make the most sense 'cause otherwise people that lived there, they’d probably be frustrated. Okay, so, we solved that imaginary issue. I’m really here to put you to sleep, though. So, this is a podcast…there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here over an hour, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your Borbie, your bores, your bore-bruh, your friend in the deep, dark night, and keep you company while you drift off. But if you can't sleep, I’m gonna be here to the very end.

 

I wrote the story that’s coming up, so it’ll be…I’m still writing it. I’m gonna record it in two days, so that’s exciting, and…not as exciting as that earlier news, but that’s…I guess, yeah, only if you’re new to town or you’re visiting. Say, could you put some more fibre in Clifford’s diet? I’m only here for a day and a half. Really, the family, we had high…maybe this was already in the movie. Okay, so, I guess…give us some more good news before…between your tangents about Clifford and Charles Grodin and other nonsense. Okay, yeah, so this is a podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. It just keeps you company and takes your mind off of stuff. You don’t really…you can barely listen to it. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I’ve been called barely listenable, but it’s true.

 

That’s what I’m here to do, live…I mean, it’s great because…the best part is I know how it feels, so it does…it’s great because I say, yeah…I could use something like this to take my mind off of stuff. I mean, come on, if this podcast might be right for you, there is something you’re speculating. You’re like, well, I do share some of these thoughts about Clifford the Big Red Dog. But they say, Clifford the Big, Red…TBRD. TBRD? T-bird? So, anyway…okay, so…okay, what else do you need to know? Structure of the show…oh, it takes some getting used to; I kind of explained that. But yeah, I guess this one’s obvious. Usually the intros…they usually are like this. I just go off the rails. Or, the podcast doesn't really have rails; it just has meanders.

 

So, okay, the other thing that really throws people off other than it takes some getting used to, it’s a podcast you don’t listen to, it’s a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep, is the structure of the show — but the structure of the show is very intentional because we have been doing this a long time — and it’s also adjustable. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I go on a tangent. I think it was about Roll Over Beethoven, originally. Poor Beethoven; didn’t even get to be part of a large tangent in this podcast. Don't worry, Beethoven, the other imaginary real…the imaginary real dog. One day I may go on a tangent about you. I may have already. I don't know, now I’m just thinking…sorry, Beethoven.

 

I was…so…but that’s…the beginning of the show is so you can feel seen and welcomed in. You say, I might check that podcast out. Then there’s sponsor support so the show could be free. Most listeners just like listening to the show linearly and for free. There are people that pay for the podcast through Sleep With Me+ or through Apple Podcasts or get access to those for free through our referral program, but for most people, that just works best for them. Then after the support and totally separate from the support is this intro that we’re like twelve minutes, eighteen minutes into, where I try to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully and I go off topic. But it’s also designed to be listened to as you’re getting ready for bed or as you’re in bed getting comfortable. Most people don’t fall asleep during the intro.

 

If you do, that’s great. Maybe you want to support the show to have the best experience, but for most people, the intro is part of their wind-down, ease-them-into-bed, buffer time. That’s been what’s always worked for me about 60% of the time and what science says actually works, is having a wind-down routine. It doesn’t work 100% of the time but thanks, science, you’re pretty…science, you’re doing pretty good. Also, I believe…I’m guessing we have Clifford the Big Red Dog…you to thank for…I mean, not science as a whole, but certain branches of science. I don't know, is that…? Who…? Or what’s Clifford just…? I don't know Clifford’s backstory, to be honest. I think as a kid we were just…I don't know.

 

I didn’t read…I remember being exposed to Clifford the Big Red Dog books, but I don't remember…like, how’d this dog get so big, and how…why this kid? That’s probably what I said; how come this kid gets the dog? I want the big, red dog. It’s my first resentment with the kid…whoever the family that happened to be lucky enough to be blessed by the presence of Clifford the Red Dog. I mean, you could say that’s a demi-god, a demi-dog. Holy moly. So, this is one of those intros…this is…for Sleep…for regular Sleep With Me listeners, what’s up, right? This is what you come here for. This could be an all-intro on its own. Oh man, have I ever covered this stuff before in 1,240 episodes or whatever we’ve done? So, okay…so, the intro goes on and on and on to ease you into bedtime.

 

You could skip the intro or you could listen to story-only shows or you could listen to intro-only shows, but you could also try out having a bedtime routine, doing a chill activity while you’re listening to it. See how that goes. Then there’s support again so the show could be free and paying for it’s optional, then is our story. I believe it’ll be Episode 4 or 5 of our on…episodically modular series, Multiplex, and then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show, and, yeah, it is different but it’s fun, man. Being able to be barely listened to while I ramble about this stuff is important to me because I know how it feels, and I know it doesn't feel great and I just want to put you at ease and put a…barely put a smile on your face.

 

I’m not gonna achieve that for everybody, I know, but think about the…I’m sure that was a plot. I think that was a plot in Beethoven, having to pay all those…cover the costs. Can we get 0.5 of that lodging tax or lodging fee to the family that owns Clifford Estates? Okay, great. Done deal. That’s…okay, 1%…okay, I don't know, we’ll have to discuss it off the air in my imagination. Okay, so, I’m so glad you’re here. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and so do a bunch of other people. So, really, I really am glad you’re here and I’m really glad those of you that keep coming back keep coming back. Those of you that are asleep, you’re looking great. All those pets out there listening, don't worry; if I was a pet, I’d be…I would feel the same about Clifford that I feel about Clifford’s family. Say, how come they get…whatever?

 

But I’m sure there’s well…more well-adjusted pets out there like, I’m just happy as I am. I don't need to be Clifford the Big Red Dog. It probably comes with a lot of stuff. Then Scoots will write…one day Scoots will write an imaginary autobiography by Clifford; Clifford: It Ain’t Easy Being…that would be too obvious. The Clifford Story…Big Red Slog: The Clifford Story…that one would be too much of a downer, but it could be. That could be Clifford’s caretaker or whatever. I don't know. Alls I know is I’m glad you’re here. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here. This is our episodically modular series, Multiplex. It is…I think the main character will fill you in on everything you need to know, 'cause they’re tell…I’ll let them tell their own story. But this is episodically modular…modular. I believe this is Episode 4, but you can listen to this in any order 'cause the main character whose name eludes me…Wyatt will catch us up on everything. So, then Episode 1, 2, and 3 are kinda like prequels. You say, oh wow, those came out after Episode 4? Kinda like, oh, those other movies…or sometimes now they just call it whatever…the title, and then you’d say…whatever. So, you could listen to them in any order. These are meant to put you to sleep. That’s what episodically modular…is to kinda say, hey, you could listen to it in any order.

 

If you do want to listen to it in order, that’s fine, too. We could even pretend this is really the fourth episode. It’s the best place to start. You know what I mean. I’m just here to keep you company and keep…to put you at ease. Now, this has been a week of Antonio discussions. Holy-no Antonion…I feel like I should go to San Antonio with Antonio because his name came up. Listeners were asking, how long’s Antonio worked for the show? When was the first time he worked for the podcast? I’m laughing 'cause I had no idea and I still have no idea, even the year, and I know he won't tell me because he’s so generous and kind that he just smiles. He’s just smiling right now. He knows, 'cause it’s…he would say, if he wasn’t…if he was me, he’d say, it only feels like fifty years though, Scooter.

 

It hasn’t felt like a day over a thousand years. It’s been Sisyphean, my work with you. Those are the kind of things he…now he’s really laughing. But yeah, people asked about that. I didn’t have the answer. I just…I mean, I did honestly answer…what a pleasure it is and how much Antonio gives…how little he receives, but he doesn't believe that. He really believes he receives a lot by giving. That’s why he’s so…that’s why he’s exuding joy. But also…oh, also, Steven loved that…when my mind was blown when I saw you on the challenge, one of the great product-placement moments of my entire existence, and I was glad I wasn’t the only one that got a kick out of it. So, I don't know who…talk about…I don't know if that is synergy, 'cause I don't think it was the same companies, but synergistic, maybe.

 

I mean, it was synergy in some sense because…I don't know. It made me feel like pure synergy, like…not…like that song but not that song. I wonder if…this is a deep cut, but who’s that…? Michael Eisner…'cause I think that song probably came out in the same time. Michael Eisner probably mistakenly is known for using the term ‘synergy’. Like, did Michael Eisner ever dance in his office to the song Pure Energy singing Pure Synergy? That would be a thing, pure synergy. Okay, so, where…? Oh, I was trying to set up the fact that Mr. Antonio Banderas, our Hollywood announcer, is here to announce the series now. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to Multiplex. Yeah, swish, clicky-click-click…movie sounds, yeah. Thanks, Antonio. That was good.

 

First time I’ll say; it was good for a first…I mean, even though this is the fourth…it was good you’re trying…I’m happy you’re comfortable to try out new things in the beginning, even when…usually you’ve just set the bar so high that…that was a swing and miss, I’ll be honest, but I’m not…I’m gonna leave it in because…and don’t…no, no, I’m not fake-praising you. I’m praising you for continuing to try. That was just…I understand what you were going for, but how could you achieve it, right? So, you were striving beyond I think any capacity to make a movie projection sound in a sleepy way while you were improving. Not achievable…so, it’s not like…you just didn’t meet your impossibly high…my impossibly high standards for your free work on this podcast for free in your spare time, which only takes about twenty-four hours of your spare time.

 

What a hobby you have. Some people say…I know I’ve gotta close this up, but…but you do get…I realize now that me making you laugh might be part of it, huh? He shrugged. Oh, boy. Okay, you got me back there. Wow, my ego was just kept in check by Mr. Antonio Banderas because I said, maybe me making you laugh is what makes it worth it for you to drive all the way from Los Angeles to my driveway, wait for me to allow you to come in, deal with all my specific instructions, maybe go back out to your car for a while if I need to think or something…I say, Antonio, I gotta do some pacing, so, prefer if you’re not around. Can you just sit in your car? I gotta do some pacing. Oh, sure…and then record for a few minutes, then be silent for a while, then maybe we play a board game — Toppling Towers is what’s on the schedule for today — then drive all the way back home. Then, I know it does take…then you need some rest. So…wow. For the love of sleep, eh? Okay, that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas and this is Multiplex, Episode 4. Thanks again, everybody.

 

Evening, everybody. This is Wyatt here recording this story. I don't know where you’re hearing this in what context, but this is an amazing story. Instead of an ordinary adventure that turns amazing, it’s an amazing adventure to be ordinary. That’s why I wanted to tell the story, 'cause people thought that some of the extraordinary things I did…even to a small audience with my public-access show, that gain to fame and some…that…I don't know. I want to just talk about how high-fliers could become plain, if that’s even possible. But it is, to go on an amazing adventure, be one among many. That’s what drove me to tell this tale, also the fact that people said, how’d you get that interview? Who’s the performer that was…? I said, oh, it’s all real, man. All real. That’s what I’m telling you now.

 

So, I have two friends, Josie and Santos, and a fourth friend, a third friend that makes four of us; the Corncob Kid, Boyd. Now, Boyd wasn’t…has…was…is becoming…has became a member of our quartet or whatever they would say, whatever Roland would call it…our group; Boyd the Corncob Kid, myself, Santos, and Josie. Now, we had started this adventure that…at some point when I’m telling you it, it’s kinda like…now, in the time I’m recording this, it’s a pretty normal thing to go on an interactive, interpersonal adventure whether it’s a room you gotta get out of or some sort of immersive theatre. But this was back when we were kids, when this thing wasn’t really a normal thing, and…but we thought at the time that this was…we were a part of something like that, 'cause we had gone into a mall that had been closed for a while in search of Julius J. Juice concentrate.

 

The mall had been closed. The Corncob Kid, Boyd, had discovered a cache of concentrated Doctor Julius J. Juice, the juice place that used to be in the mall where people would go and get a juice. I don’t…I never had one, I don't think, but it was…I always think it was milk and orange juice mixed together, but Boyd said it wasn’t and that it tasted good. But they…our thought was, well…or Boyd could sell it on what was…would one day become the internet. This time it was just bulletin boards online, but that this…that we could sell the concentrate and that legally, morally, ethically, it was fine because the store had been closed, the mall had been closed, both companies were out of business…that this was abandoned refuse. But because it was canned, it was also good to sell.

 

So, we tried to sneak into the mall and get the Julius J. Juice concentrate which would have enabled me, I think, to go to school at a pretty high…well-known university because I didn’t get the scholarship I anticipated I was gonna get. But we didn’t want…also, Santos and Josie also had scholarships and they didn’t want to…we were trying to dodge any trouble. Then we got in the mall and we found that The World of Cutlery or Land of Cutlery…? Whatever it’s called, the person working there needed help, and they needed help getting back an item that had been taken from the store. We were more than happy to do that, but that’s when things got interesting 'cause, one, what’s somebody doing working at Cutlery…The World of Cutlery when it’s…the mall’s been closed for a long time, right?

 

That doesn't make any sense, but we kinda went with it. We also got a couple of cool things, a couple of utility items and a couple samurai swords, and…'cause we returned the implement, the high-end…we never asked if it was ceramic or carbon or a conundrum or some…it was a conundrum. But they had…the being that had it, the puppet…is what we thought, or an animatronic, a mobile animatronic, mobile puppet? I don't know, robot? It was shaped to look like something wrapped in ACE bandages that had been aged, right, or paper…like toilet paper, someone who would be called a mommy but not quite a mommy. Maybe they would be on display…but this was more filmic. It wasn’t historical. It doesn't make any sense, does it, Boyd? That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't.

 

That’s why we said, oh, this is part of some sort of immersive theatre. That’s why the store’s on, somebody’s work…a human being was working. That’s why this thing is talking and making noise. We finally caught up with it at Hickory Dickory Dock Farms, where we…it was in a cooler, and I think that’s where we left off. This thing…we returned the things to Cutlery World and this thing’s…this thing, this puppet, said it needed our help. That’s when we were like, okay, this has gotta be some sort of quest, right? We said, okay, that makes sense; it’s a quest, some sort of theatre quest that people pay a lot of money to go for. Maybe they’re just doing testing. We might as well lean into it, right? Maybe we’ll get the Julius J. Juice which we still needed to do, the concentrate, get that back to the truck, sell it…but whatever.

 

So, we were…what we had done is scooped this puppet up, or…it was not a puppet because it was moving. So, it was a remote-controlled animatronic. That’s kinda where we left off, and we had it in a painter’s tarp and we were carrying it around. It said we needed its help. I’m not sure exactly what I told you last, but…oh, we said, well, usually when we go to the…when this mall was open and we’d go to the movies at this mall, we would go to the store that sells alls…types of things including candy and soda as well as RX-type things, or Band-Aids or Vaseline or you know, whatever, shampoo. So, we went there first, and the first thing the Corncob Kid did once we got into the…it ended up the gate to that store was open. It was…Faye's, it was called. Not with a PH, though. It was Faye's, and that’s…so, we went in there.

 

The gate was…it was unlocked. We raised it up. The first thing Boyd noted, though, was that this store was already in a stage of being…it wasn’t pristine but it wasn’t destroyed, right? They had decided to close the store, so some things were packed up and some weren’t. But right in the entrance was a pallet jack with…a pallet with a cardboard box on it. Boyd said, that’s perfect; we could stack the juice on here. Then we said, well, we could put the mommy…mommy…we could put her on there. It was a female mommy. So, we did that and we said, okay…this will make it easy to move around the mall. We’ll go get the juice. We tried to find ACE bandages, right, and we couldn’t locate ACE bandages, couldn’t locate anything…everything had been packed…a lot of stuff had been packed up and put away or sent off to another Faye's before they closed down.

 

So, I guess you could say…the plus was we got the pallet jack and a way to transport mommy. The downside was…oh, because our goal here was to re…I think one of the things we were told is, hey, you have to help me…put me back together, a bit like Humpty Dumpty. But due to deterioration, she had started to fall apart. So, we had one piece from a display of anatomical parts, and we also had a dried-out summer sausage that happened to be about four, six…no, not four…like, three or four feet long? I don't know how long…a normal size of…I’m not good with distance. Two feet? Which were two of the things that were missing from this…'cause again, we’re looking at this like, you have to solve this. This is a puzzle or a mystery we have to solve piece by piece, a bit like a video game.

 

So, we started…and we were all in on this, right, as long as we could get the Julius J. Juice…which Josie happened to say, wait a second, we’re gonna need something to also…these things are interlocked. We could use cups to interlock…in the joint areas. ‘Cause I think we were gonna…the only other idea was…what are those things called? Pipe cleaners. Maybe we needed both, which would be easy because back at this time, there was always a pipe store at the mall, too. But cups…and then Boyd said, we’ll get the cups at Julius J. Juice. So, that was great. We said, okay, we still need something like an ACE bandage, which you wrap around, or…stronger than toilet paper. Obviously toilet paper’s not gonna work. Santos said, the sock store. What about yarn socks from the sock store, socks and scissors?

 

We’ll get some scissor…and then I said, I got scissors on my utility device, or maybe Boyd did. I don't know. So, we could…so, we…and then we said, wait a second, the sock store is on the way to Julius J. Juice. So, we’ll get the socks — great idea — then we’ll put…we’ll get some cups. We’ll also load up the pallet jack full of Julius J. Juice…and we were doing a lot of talking. Now, the mommy wasn’t saying anything. Obviously we figured they’ve gotta conserve the batteries. It was just a part of the puzzle. It probably has a limited…I don't know how they even did memory back then for these animatronic robots or whatever. Okay, so, we go to the sock store. Now, you know, you might not…you might be listening to this not believing, 'cause there are…what do they call them nowadays? Novelty socks. This was different. You could get some novelty socks at this shop, but this was a real sock store.

 

So, you could get yarn socks made from…you know, wool socks, yarn socks, fancy socks, argyle socks, also sock puppets, other sock-related items…right next to a hat…there was more than one hat store, and I’m…like a baseball hat store. This one was calls Caps next door to the sock shop. Sock Hop? Sock Hop…I don't know, Sock Hop, I think it was called. There was even a diner in the mall, believe it or not, too. Okay, so we grabbed a bunch of socks and we started cutting them into tubes. Actually, Josie and Santos kinda took over. They said, this is gonna be perfect. We just need a couple cups. We’re not even gonna need pipe cleaners because the socks are so thick and they’ll…we’ll put them around the cups, put them around the summer sausage where…the piece of anatomically-correct display…so, we headed to Julius J. Juice and…division of work.

 

So, Boyd and I started…we removed the cardboard box with the mommy in there, and then we started loading up containers of concentrated Julius J. Juice. As Boyd said, these were already boxed up, ready to go, and we stacked…we weren’t able to take all of it but we stacked it pretty high, tested it out that we could move it…meanwhile, Boyd and Josie were working on the mommy, and the mommy was…had been silent the whole time, maybe in some battery-saving rest mode. We don’t…we didn’t know. But we were figuring this, again, was a puzzle, and part of us…and sure, we debated a lot of this stuff. Of course there was dissent; let’s not get the juice, let’s get this over…what if the people watching the game…? But the juice was too…the juice concentrate then was too valuable and I couldn’t say no.

 

Again, because it wasn’t taking, it was there for free, just left behind and forgotten, salvageable, that I felt comfortable and said, no, no, we can take this and we could debate it. Also, we already have the person that works at The World of Cutlery. We’re helping this thing. We’re helping them with…we’re doing our best. So, we loaded up the Julius J. Juice. When we came out, it was pretty hilarious what Josie and Santos had done, because then you had something that before that…look like a leftover prop from a science…a natural history museum section or a modern-day display, seasonal display, autumnal, seasonal display, but that had been left out too long and it started falling apart. But they had reassembled it so it actually looked a bit like a sock…because the socks weren’t all, you know, mildewy or whatever; they were new socks.

 

So, it was like a giant sock being. Or, nowadays you see this where people put yarn on stuff, like on parking meters or poles, or…I don't know what they call that, knitting…knit IRL? KnIRL, like knitting in real life? Or crochet…I don't know which one it is, but it was funny. So, you had something that looked like now a person, basically, wearing multiple different socks of many different colors, and…like a big…like a large sock puppet, multicolored…like, person-size, with a couple of anatomical pieces hanging out in places. So, we said…and we were like, do…were you really careful? ‘Cause it probably has…and they said, we didn’t even see any motors or anything. Maybe they…I don't know. So, we start moving, right, but then we don’t know where we’re going. So, we pause in the mall and a little bit of time went by.

 

We were listening, right, and we did hear something far away but we couldn’t quite pin down what it was, so we decided to head in that direction, in the direction of the sound. So, we start heading…but we’d have to stop moving, right? It was a consistent murmuring sound and, again, like something we would associate with…if this was some sort of puzzle, maybe that’s the next thing in the puzzle. But after we stopped a couple times and we were pretty sure we were heading in the right direction, suddenly it became a flurry of activity from our sock mommy, and the stock mommy reactivated and said…started talking; my cat, my cat, my…where’s my cat? Where’s my cat? We stopped and we looked at one another. We even went back…we said, hold on, we’ll check.

 

We checked Hickory Dickory Dock Farms; no cat there. There was no cat in the restroom where we first…where we had been following the sock…now sock mommy. No cat. We said, we don’t know…what do you mean? I need my cat. I need my cat. Can’t go home without my cat; that’s what the sock…said, it’s a puzzle, right? What if we’ve been…this is…? We were a really good team. We all had different skills. In fact, if this was what we thought it was, that we were the perfect people to test it out. ‘Cause it didn’t take long to be like, well, if we were supposed to go to the sock place, there’s sock puppet…so, there’s a sock cat in there. So, we grabbed the sock cat. We tucked the sock cat in the arms of the animatronic sock mommy. There’s your cat. Don't worry; there’s your cat. We were right, so it was…oh, good, good, good.

 

I said, well, where…by the way, now that you’re up, where’s home? There was a long backstory here, which I’ll try to summarize 'cause it was incredibly convoluted because it wasn’t based on real history. It was based on fiction. But it was this…basically, the backstory of this sock mommy was that she was a sorceress. She was from the Valley of the Sorceress. This was a long time ago in the region known as Egypt, right? The fictional one. I mean, within Egypt-based, mommy-based fiction. Now, her story was that she was incredibly powerful. She was a leader. She was a queen, and she had ruled the land in fairness and kindness but with power. We said, well, where’s your…? We tried to get her to get to the point. It didn’t happen. So, then she went on. I’m trying to think of the shortest way to explain it.

 

Learned all of this magic…back then — again, this is fiction, right? — there was magic and power. Some people liked her but the people that had the most — 'cause she kinda tried to even things back out — they didn’t like her, right? The people that had fiefdoms of power before she came into power that maybe lost those fiefdoms, they didn’t like her. She loved her cat. Obviously that was part of the story, 'cause we had to find the cat. At some point her cat decided…or she seems to believe it wasn’t the cat’s choice to go visit the place…the big litter box in the beyond, and she didn’t like that 'cause she said, this is my cat. This is my best friend. She said, I’m gonna use these…some of these powers that I’m not supposed to use to bring…say, hey, once my cat uses that big litter box in the beyond, come on back. So, she did that.

 

Now, it was funny because we had heard…Boyd was like, I’m on alt.starwars.fans and there’s this wild fan theory, absolutely the most ridiculous thing, that that was how the Vader of Night became…once was named…this kid named Anakin, a Jedi, and that that’s what…and we were like, yeah, that’s not how you become the Vader of Night. It’s not by…no, it’s gotta be different than that. But Boyd’s like, yeah, it was on one of the news groups I read…whatever. But it’s basically this story of like, okay…but there’s books about it, too, that are a little bit different. So, it was a little bit like the books. But so, what happened was, similar to the book, once she brought her cat from the big litter box in the sky, all the cats came back. But the cats were…they weren’t just looking for Meow Mix.

 

So, there became this great…now remember, this is a fictional story we were being told, but there became the great debate about cats not eating…in her world it became a big thing where it was…the people, her people, had to renegotiate things with these cats and say, hey, let’s get you back to the litter box in the beyond because you seem to want to stay here, but you’re doing a lot of hissing. That resolved, but it took a lot of work and resources and it gave the people that disagreed with her a chance to build up enough momentum to do what they wanted to do. Now, they really didn’t like her because she was seriously beloved. The short and long of it is basically they said, why don’t you go with your cat to the big place where you could hang out forever and ever?

 

We’re also going to make sure…because you got into this magic and all that stuff, we can’t ever have that happen again, so we’re gonna make sure no one ever in the historical record…in the historical record in this fictional record of historical record, you’ll never be…we’re gonna make sure you and your magic don’t ever get recorded, which in the present, her…she was really unhappy about that because it was important to her, because she said, I’m time…I’ve done all this stuff. She knew this was gonna happen but she couldn’t prevent it from happening, and so, she said, don't worry, if you do that to me…just like my cat, if you put me in the big litter box in the sky…I’m not a cat…and one day in the long, long, long future, I’ll plan for it and I’ll come back and I’ll teach you the moral of the story, and it won't be the moral of the story you expected.

 

So, that was her story and we said, okay, so where is home, though? ‘Cause we gotta get you home. She said, I’ve come from your palace of learning. I never heard of a store like that; Palace…like one of the bookstores? What does it…with books? ‘Cause again, we were trying to get clues from this clue-giving device, which is what we saw her as, like a robot or whatever. They said, no, no, no. Okay, well, what do you mean, palace of learning? Oh, you know…oh, maybe it’s not for learning. Maybe it’s for debate. Your fine rulers go there and…we said, like a ruler shop? No, no; rulers like when they go and discuss your policies for the good of all your people. The post office closed, though. It can’t be the post office, anyway. Huh. What does it look like…? Oh, well, maybe it’s for your entertainers.

 

Like, they come…we said, what is it…? Well, I was crawling around and…but it looks like you have these luxurious seating…did you see anything else? Again, this is a fictional mommy, so this is why…said, oh, it’s like the Mixelblix? There was a lot of light and noise. Mixelplix…so, that was it. We were like…first we over-thought it. We said, is that some sort of…are those letters moved around? Mixelplix…learning government…and then theatre…oh, it’s the Multiplex. That’s where the noise was coming from. The murmuring was coming from that direction. Okay, so, we set forth towards the Multiplex, right? We were like, okay, maybe this is…do you think this is where we win the contest? You think there’s gonna be rewards or food or snacks?

 

We’ll be…now that we figured out the puzzle, we’ll be able to talk our way out of it, right? So, we hear from the Multiplex that…we hear this noise coming from inside like a movie’s playing, and the doors are open. Now, at this point we were a little hesitant. Plus, we were all tired from taking turns pulling this pallet jack. So, we pulled the pallet jack in next to the box office and then just started carrying the cardboard box with her in it, very gently, 'cause the last thing we wanted to do is be like, you messed up our prop for this whole thing. But I mean, we were really excited. We were like, maybe we could be a part of this. I wonder if there’s volunteers. We thought that we’d go into the movie theatre and there’d be applause and stuff 'cause we found the end, but we went into the movie theatre where we heard the noise coming out of.

 

We saw the light. I can’t remember; Theatre 6, maybe? I don't know. No other people, no other…we were listening. We go into Theatre 6. There’s a black-and-white movie playing. We get to it and it seems to be…the movie she was talking…there was enough that it was pretty clear that this was a movie…and we got there…it was fairly close to the end and this was the part where…so, this was kind of…that was her backstory. So, the movie takes place in a different…not our present day but another present day. I don't know, England 1930? I don't know, like a time of adventure in a fictional movie where they have discovered where she was waiting to be discovered, where they had said, well, she’ll rest here while her spiritual essence is at the big cat bowl in the sky or whatever, drinking from saucers of milk.

 

This is where we’ll keep all her records sealed off from the world. That’s what her rivals thought, but she knew one day far in the future people would come discover her and that then she could return. I don't…I think there was a couple things missing in her plan 'cause actually in the movie, it doesn't work out for her. So, she had a plan. One day, adventurers that predated Indiana Jones but in the same vein would discover her resting…where she was supposed to rest. They would take all of her relics out, eventually work hard to uncover how it worked, including some of the magic, because she left clues. We were like, are we supposed to be watching this movie for clues or not? Then she would return, and she had a couple different plans…and her cat would return. That was another part of her plan.

 

But she would come back ideally through…I think she was either gonna come back in old-fashioned physical form which was kinda like what she was doing right there, but once she did that, then she would go into…how do I say this? So, the main character in the movie’s a professor-type and then there’s an adventurer-type. I know there’s other movies but this one, the professor-type has a child that’s just a kid, and then I think her plan was, maybe I’ll become an internal imaginary friend of the child and then when the child grows up, then I’ll be able to return and do everything I wanted to do, like a second chance. Like that movie Fabulous Friday, but a little bit different. But basically…may or may not understand me 'cause it was a older movie, right?

 

But what happens is of course the professor and the adventurer figure that out, and in the movie they also…with a vigorous group of townspeople figure that out, and then they say, hey, let’s have a campfire and not discuss this at all with you, and then you don’t…then you could…let’s just have you…maybe the…your rivals were right and you should just…maybe you’re better off drinking milk at the cat farm in the sky. That’s how the movie ends. It does leave one end where there’s…that there could have been more movies, which I think there were. Then the movie ended, but after the credits it started over again. ‘Cause we were kinda just waiting around for the most part, and I guess watching the movie. Then we said, okay, you’re home. The movie started again.

 

Now, the one thing we noticed, or we did…well, we didn’t really notice it the first time…was that she wasn’t in the movie, right? So, the second time the movie starts playing, she said, you gotta get me back home. So, these two things are happening at the same time but I’m talking about them separately. At some point we noticed she was missing from the movie, right? So, that was one of the lights that went on; oh, she’s not in the…she’s supposed to be in the movie; she’s not in the movie. But that also created confusion. It’s like, how are they…how did they do that? Then, two, we were also talking to her; what do you mean? How did you get here? Then she said, well, I just remember I was in my world, then there was a bright light, then I was in your world. So, we said, okay, we’re gonna get you back in the movie.

 

At first we were like, okay, what do we just…? We were tapping the movie screen; nothing. Then we said, well, why don’t we just carry the box over and kinda tip the box against the movie and then see what happen…? We did that and there was this flash, right? Then she was in the movie. But the flash kinda happened like…where we lost sense of time or something. I don't know. Maybe, or the movie skipped ahead. Then she was in the movie and it ended the same as the first time we watched the movie, but she was there. So, every…then we were like, oh, she was…wasn’t in…she was in those scenes but we didn’t see her the first time. But then at the time where they said, we think you should return to the big cat farm in the sky, there was a flash and then she’s back. The box falls over; she’s still there. She says, I want to go home.

 

I thought you were gonna help me get home. Time was a little weird here because it feels like we were confused, and…but we were looking at this intensely, like the intensity we took to sports, to performance, to school, to education, or Boyd, to being the Corncob Kid. We thought this was a puzzle we needed to solve. So, we also lost sense of time 'cause we were immersed in figuring this out. What happened was that we were watching the movie without her in it…also we were like, man, when is…how long is…how is this thing even powered? What do they want us to do, whoever’s working on this thing? We’re just watching the movie and then we were like, okay, let’s try to find the perfect time to get her in the movie.

 

Now, one…another thing we were never aware of up until this point was that…so, we started trying again at different points in the movie putting her in the movie. The same thing would happen; the movie would play out and end the same way. Okay, so we probably did that a few times, a few different moments in the movie, and it didn’t work. But there was one thing that happened…'cause again, we kept…we were trying to…we were just, again, trying to figure this puzzle out. Maybe the movie was sped up. I don't remember. Maybe my…but at one point on the third or fourth try, we realized that the cat also…whatever you call it, the sock puppet cat also fell in the movie.

 

What happened was at the end of the movie…this was the only time the movie changed, was that the little girl, right before everyone decided, hey, we’re gonna have you return and all that, have a bonfire and yadda, yadda, yadda…the little girl who was a part of all that, she gets distracted right before that scene because she sees the sock puppet cat. She takes the sock puppet cat in her arms and she’s petting the sock puppet cat and being nice to it, and then she says…she even says to everybody when they’re all up in arms, can't we just be nice? She’s cute like my cat. But the people don’t listen. So, we said, wait a second, there’s gotta be something to this. Then we said, okay, well, what if…? We were walking back and forth, right?

 

This is how we would solve these kinda problems, even if it was a math problem, looking at it from every angle. Then we said, okay, well, remember her story…we said, that must have been a reason she told us this long, drawn-out story before we took her into the movie theatre. So, we said, okay, we can’t get more information from our…is she our primary source? Whatever. Hey…okay, are you sure you really…? When you go back home, what if you don’t decide that you’re gonna…what if you just go home and rest? No, no, no, because I need to teach them the moral of the story. That’s my purpose, is to teach them the moral of the story. Then we had to break it down again. Okay, well, what’s the moral of the story? Don’t…I’m timeless.

 

Don’t mess…you tried to mess with my timelessness and now I get to teach you the moral of the story, that I was smarter than all of you and you should have never decided that I wasn’t timeless, and…yeah, that’s the lesson. We said, you know, there’s not a lot of historical…even in movies, there’s not a lot…that’s not a successful thing. She goes, well, whatever, that’s what we’re gonna do. That’s what I want…that’s what I’m gonna do. So, then it took a while…and then again, two things happened at the same time which I’m gonna tell you separately. One was we said, well, what if…so, you…we kinda…was like, what do you really want? Do you want to teach them a moral or do you want to be timeless? Do you want to be remembered forever in a positive way?

 

I think part of this was seeing the little girl holding the sock puppet cat. Or do you want to teach them the moral of the story? Then I think Boyd said, the best teaching of the…if you want to be the teacher of the moral of the story but realizing you don’t need to be the teacher of the moral of the story…Boyd said this like his uncle said it once, or his aunt; the best way to teach the moral of the story without teaching it directly is living well. She didn’t respond to that and we said, okay, so, what if you could be timeless? So, then another theory we had during all this was like, what if a movie on loop…now that we realize we could change any…something in the movie…was like some sort of contained time travel, right?

 

We could put her in…back in the movie at any point, and because we accidentally put the cat in the movie — that was the first time at the right time — it changed the movie. It didn’t change the outcome. But so, we had these two theories. Like, if she goes in the movie in a way that is…with a different intention and we figure out…so, we decided again to work on her design to be more like the sock puppet, right? If we get them both in there together as a duo, what would the little girl do? What would the people do? She just wants them…so, we kinda got some paint…we ran some errands. She was like, well, what’s the plan? We said, okay, we’re gonna put you back in the movie. You’re gonna be timeless. You’ll be remembered positively forever, because when you try to teach the moral of the story, it fails.

 

We’re trying to help you. ‘Cause she was, again, focused on just teaching the moral of the story and that would create her timelessness. This is heady stuff. Maybe we were overthinking it. I don't know. But so, we made her as much…look like the sock puppet cat as we could and then we said, okay, so we’re gonna put you back in towards the beginning of the movie in your place…we’re gonna try to get you in where there’s a scene where the thing opens and the camera pans to the professor sleeping. Then eventually the professor hears the creak and turns and sees you. So, we’re gonna do that. We’re gonna put you in then, 'cause right now it’s empty anyway. We had tried to put you in there before, but then you had a different intention. She said, so, what’s my intention now? We we’re like, just to be timeless.

 

Your essence now, you and your cat together, have a timelessness, and if you don’t try…we don’t know. This is just a theory. Basically we’re just trying to come up with this on the fly. She said, okay, but…she said, I don't think I could do it without something of value, you know? We said, what do you mean? She said, something of true value. She goes, because this…part of this process is bringing things…it’s always about bringing things from one world into another world. She said, I had jars of things that then in the movie they discover are parts of the ways to unlock…you know, turn on my lamps and stuff. So she goes, I need to bring stuff of real value with me into…and then return, and then I think it’ll work out. We go, well, okay. First we just thought we were…okay, yeah, something of real value.

 

We thought like, a smile on the inside or whatever. So, we said, okay, well, these socks are pretty…would you want our samurai sword? I don't know, I got ten bucks. She goes, no, no, you have these containers of value. I’ve heard you talking about them. Containers of value? She goes, the jars, the jars of the valuable concentrate of goods. Whoa, whoa, whoa, you want to bring the Julius J. Juice into the movie with you? Oh, is that what it…? Yes, your jars of valuable juice, the Doctor’s juice. I want to bring that. Then we kinda felt like, okay, we gotta say yes to this 'cause it was like, okay, we’ve been…we are being observed, right, by whoever’s running this game, and they’ve caught us taking the juice. So, at first I was a little embarrassed. I said, yeah, that’s fine.

 

Okay, great. Also there was tons of other juice back at the juice place. We only had a few cases. So, then we enacted the plan. Now, you might be asking how is any of this possible, right? Again, I think we…it’s a little bit foggy with time, but it did seem real and I think there was a part of me and a part of each one of us that knew something else was at play, but it was also…at the time, I think it was easy for us not to notice that because it was so…it was just so cool to be part of something so cool. Even getting called out by whoever was running the game, it was kinda like, okay, well, I guess we gotta do this.

 

So, then we…so, okay, so then it took a little bit of work, right, 'cause we had to load everything. Luckily back then these theatres did have a stage, so we load everything on the stage and we wait for the movie to get to the moment. Then we…basically we put everything on the pallet jack and we kinda were like, okay, on three, we’ll just push it all into the movie. That’s where…now, that’s where things got beyond interesting, I would say, 'cause we did it right at the time…there was a flash and then suddenly the movie changed. So, we thought we had won, right? Because the movie became a animated in-color commercial for a breakfast cereal.

 

At first…luckily it was looping over and over and over again, otherwise we wouldn’t have noticed it at first because it was so…such a change in tone and volume. This high-energy commercial starts where the mommy is a part of a advertisement for a breakfast cereal featuring her and a new cereal, which sounds so weird because it’s supposed to have the flavor of tropical juices, including the official Doctor Julius J. Juice, who is in the commercial. The professor sleeping is Doctor Julius J. Juice. Also weird…I can’t remember…mallow…Mommy Mallow was her name in the thing, but it was a commercial for a breakfast cereal. Mommy Mallows, was that what it was called? With Julius…Doctor Julius J. Juice. So, it was a advertisement for that cereal.

 

A new cereal, part of the line of famous cereals, Mommy Mallows with Doctor Julius J. Juice on the inside, which I don't…I still…the idea…like I said even before that Boyd could sell this concentrate and it was like creamy orange juice, but…oh, 'cause it was maybe a momsicle? I don't know. Orange dreamsicle-type flavor I think is what they were going for with this cereal, but with tropical flavors. So, then the commercials…so, she’s gone, the cat’s gone…the puppet’s gone, the cat’s gone, the juice is gone. Now, again, there was a big flash, so we said, okay, that’s how they’re doing the stage…the magic. So, at this point we just sat down watching the commercial over and over and over, but we were also tired 'cause a lot of time had passed. We were kinda waiting to be rewarded, right, that someone was gonna come and tell us we had figured out the puzzle and we had won.

 

But we all just sat there, and these were back when these were these plush, velvet movie theatre seats. We were in the front row. We had plenty of leg space. We were just sitting there, the four of us, and eventually we just drifted off to sleep with this commercial playing over and over again. Oh, Mommy Mallow, I’ve finally made my greatest discovery. It’s me, Doctor Julius J. Juice. Blah, blah, blah. You’ve seen the commercials before. So, we…I don't know if we all separately dreamed of Mommy Mallow and sock puppets and the mall, but we got a good while of sleep there, sinking into those chairs so comfortable. Maybe I’ll come back and tell you more later. Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Multiplex

 

Charles Grodin

https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/7399-the-unique-energy-of-charles-grodin

https://variety.com/2021/film/opinion/charles-grodin-appreciation-the-heartbreak-kid-tribute-1234976110/

https://decider.com/2021/05/19/the-indiscreet-charm-of-charles-grodin/

 

Orange Julius

https://www.sjpl.org/blogs/post/looking-back-a-devilish-good-drink-remembering-orange-julius/

https://heated.medium.com/the-real-history-of-orange-julius-813ae83d8551

https://wcsx.com/2023/04/20/what-happened-to-the-all-time-mall-favorite-orange-julius/

 

Yarn Bombing

https://feltmagnet.com/textiles-sewing/What-is-Yarn-Bombing

https://ucsdguardian.org/2020/12/01/the-rise-of-yarn-bombing/

https://theconversation.com/knit-one-purl-one-the-mysteries-of-yarn-bombing-unravelled-23461

 

The Mummy Movies

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/mummy-years-how-monster-has-evolved-big-screen-1002193/

https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/13-essential-mummy-movies/

https://nilescribes.org/2022/01/08/egyptological-review-of-1999-mummy/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’ve got a no-plex

What is the meaning of “plex”?

Roll Over Beethoven

Beethoven is not as big as Clifford the Big Red Dog

If you already loathe me, you’re in good company

 

Deep Dark Night United

Caitlin (Helix Sleep)

 

PLUGS

Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

AquaTru; Helix Sleep; Wild Health; Polysleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

 

INTRO

Tomorrow Yesterday and Today

Multiplex Thoughts

Brainbot-Plex

Explaining my brainbots

Outside of bedtime, my brainbots are so cute

Some of my brainbots emote

They have the remote to make me emote

I managed to sneak by the old brainbots last night

It only took me 15 minutes to remember Charles Grodin’s name

A strongly worded email of your distaste for my taste

Memories of Charles Grodin

Wait, Charles Grodin was in Beethoven AND Clifford???

Is this Clifford THE Clifford?

Oh, this has nothing to do with the big red dog

An extended history of Clifford

I could fit a thimble with my knowledge of Charles Grodin

Imagine the attention a big red dog would actually get

Let’s imagine Clifford’s territory was Milwaukee

It would be news every single day

The Clifford Lodging Tax of 1991

I mean, Clifford is definitely a draw

We’re renaming Milwaukee to Cliffordville

A hotel tax for Clifford tourists wouldn’t be fair but it would be necessary

I wrote this story that’s coming up

CTBRD (Clifford The Big Red Dog)

Yes, I do normally go off the rails like this

Wind Down Routines work most of the time

You’re doing pretty good, Science

Is Clifford a demi-god? A demi-dog?

How come that kid got the dog?

My First Resentment

Multiplex

I know how it feels

Big Red Slog: The Clifford Story

 

STORY

Wyatt will fill you in

A week of Antonio discussions

Should I go to San Antonio with Antonio?

I don’t even know when Antonio started working with the podcast 

It only feels like 50 years, Antonio

Shoutout to Stephen and The Challenge

Is that synergy?

Did Michael Eisner ever dance to the song “Pure Energy” as “Pure Synergy”?

It’s always great that you’re willing to try out new things in the beginning, Antonio

Even when they don’t work

That was honestly a swing and a miss

You just set the bar so high

Wow Antonio just really kept my ego in check

Maybe we’ll play Toppling Towers later

Wyatt checks in

An amazing adventure to be ordinary

An amazing adventure to be one of many

Josie and Santos and Boyd

An innovative, immersive theatre adventure before that was a thing

We’d gone into a mall looking for concentrate

If I sold the concentrate, I could pay for school

We helped someone in the World of Cutlery

We got some swords and other cutlery as thanks

A puppet dressed to be wrapped in ace bandages called Mommy

Oh, this is immersive theatre!

Let’s lean into this theatre quest while we look for the concentrate

A remote-controlled animatronic, carried in a painter’s tarp

We’d got to this store for Rx-type things and candy

It was called Fay’s

Not pristine, not destroyed

A Palette Jack

We can put the mommy on the palette while we look for concentrate

We can’t find any more Ace bandages

Mommy needs help being put back together

We had one femur piece and a dried out summer sausage

It would be great to get cups and pipe cleaners

We still need something like an Ace bandage – better thant toilet paper

To the sock store!

Mommy wasn’t saying much, probably to conserve batteries

We went to the sock store

Nowadays, there are novelty shops

But this was just a sock store called Sock Hop

Cutting socks into tubes

Femur inside sausage inside cup inside of socks – Bingo!

Then we went to the juice store and started loading up concentrate

Boyd and Josie worked on the Mommy

Debate about bringing the juice back

It was ours for the taking

An autumnal seasonal display left out too long

With this new look, it looked like a giant sock being

KnIRL (Knitting In Real Life)

A large multi-colored sock puppet

We heard something far away

A consistent murmuring sound

Sock Mommy reactivated and wants to know where their cat is

Sock Mommy can’t go home without their cat

We all make a really good team

Tucking Sock Cat in the arms of Sock Mommy

That was the puzzle solution

Where’s home, Sock Mommy?

A convoluted backstory based on fiction

She was a sorceress from the Valley of the Sorceress

The Imaginary Land of Egypt

She learned a bunch of magic back then

She loved her cat

She had some rivals

Someone made her cat visit the Big Litter Box in the Sky

Using magic to make her cat return from the Big Litter Box

A wild Star Wars fan theory

But all the cats came back

Negotiating with all these cats that came back

Now her rivals pounced on this opportunity

The Fictional Record of Historical Record

They made sure there was no record of her magic-using

She came from the Palace of Learning

Where rulers go to discuss the laws

Oh, she was at Mixelplix

You mean the Multiplex??

Stepping towards the Multiplex

A movie is playing inside

A black and white movie is playing in there

This movie was Mommy’s backstory

England, 1930, people discovered Mommy’s essence

She had a plan but it didn’t work out for her

Are we supposed to be watching this movie for clues?

The Professor has a child

Maybe Mommy would become an internal imaginary friend of the child

But they figure out Mommy’s plan

They make a campfire and don’t discuss it with Mommy

Then the movie ended and starts over again

Mommy wasn’t in the movie

We have to get Mommy back into the movie

Let’s tip her back into the movie

Then there was a flash and she was back in the movie

We spent a lot of time trying to figure out this puzzle

How is this movie even playing?

Identifying the perfect time to get her back into the movie

The sock puppet cat had also fallen into the movie

The little child was petting the sock puppet cat in the movie

The little girl just wants to be nice but nobody listens to her

Looking at it from every angle

Mommy wants to teach everyone that she is timeless and not to be messed with

Does Mommy want to be remembered positively or teach them a moral?

The best way to teach a moral is to live well

What if the movie contains time travel?

If we put her into the movie at the right time, it could change the movie outcome

We made her look like the sock puppet cat and put her into the beginning of the movie

Just Be Timeless

Mommy needs to bring something of real value into this new world

She wants to take the juice concentrate

They begrudgingly accept

(There’s more juice back at the store)

We all kind of knew something else was at play

The Game Master was calling us out for stealing the juice

The movie became a colorful, animated cereal commercial

A high energy commercial starring the Mommy and her cereal

But this cereal has tropical juice flavors

And Julius J Juice is now the professor

Mommy Mallows (with Dr. Julius J Juice)

Creamsicle-Flavored Cereal

Everything was gone after the big flash – obviously that’s some stage magic

Waiting for someone to congratulate us on solving the puzzle

We fell asleep on those plush velvet seats 

 

REFERRAL PROGRAM THANKS

Kathleen, Rachelle, Carol, Rose, Cassie, Heather, Tiffany, Tindra, Jay, Lorraine, Julie, Lydia, Aiden, Donna

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1248

Title: Timeless Sock Puppet | Multiplex Ep4

Deep Dark Night United: Caitlin (Helix Sleep)

Plugs: Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: AquaTru; Helix Sleep; Wild Health; Polysleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive

Referral Program Thanks: Kathleen, Rachelle, Carol, Rose, Cassie, Heather, Tiffany, Tindra, Jay, Lorraine, Julie, Lydia, Aiden, Donna

Notable Language:

• Plex
• Multiplex Thoughts
• Brainbot-Plex
• Emote Remote
• Your distaste of my taste
• Cliffordville
• CTBRD (Clifford The Big Red Dog)
• Synergy
• Dr. Julilus J Juice
• A Palette Check
• Sock Hop
• KnIRL (Knitting In Real Life)
• Egypt-Based Fiction (EBF)
• The Fictional Record of Historical Record
• Mixelplix
• Just Be Timeless
• Containers of Value
• Mommy Mallows

 

Notable Culture:

• • “Roll Over Beethoven” song

• Beethoven movies

• Clifford the Big Red Dog

• • Charles Grodin

• Doughboys

• Hollywood Handbook

• • The Clifford Lodging Tax of 1991
  • Multiplex
  • Big Red Slog: The Clifford Story

• The Challenge

• • “Pure Energy” song
  • Toppling Towers game

• Star Wars

• Pet Sematary

• • Mixelplix
  • The Mummy
  • Universal Monster Movies

• Indiana Jones

• Freaky Friday

• Mommy Mallows

 

Notable Talking Points:

• • Tomorrow Yesterday and Today
  • Multiplex Thoughts
  • Brainbot-Plex
  • Explaining my brainbots
  • Outside of bedtime, my brainbots are so cute
  • Some of my brainbots emote
  • They have the remote to make me emote
  • I managed to sneak by the old brainbots last night
  • It only took me 15 minutes to remember Charles Grodin’s name
  • A strongly worded email of your distaste for my taste
  • Memories of Charles Grodin
  • Wait, Charles Grodin was in Beethoven AND Clifford???
  • Is this Clifford THE Clifford?
  • Oh, this has nothing to do with the big red dog
  • An extended history of Clifford
  • I could fit a thimble with my knowledge of Charles Grodin
  • Imagine the attention a big red dog would actually get
  • Let’s imagine Clifford’s territory was Milwaukee
  • It would be news every single day
  • The Clifford Lodging Tax of 1991
  • I mean, Clifford is definitely a draw
  • We’re renaming Milwaukee to Cliffordville
  • A hotel tax for Clifford tourists wouldn’t be fair but it would be necessary
  • I wrote this story that’s coming up
  • CTBRD (Clifford The Big Red Dog)
  • Yes, I do normally go off the rails like this
  • Wind Down Routines work most of the time
  • You’re doing pretty good, Science
  • Is Clifford a demi-god? A demi-dog?
  • How come that kid got the dog?
  • My First Resentment
  • Multiplex
  • I know how it feels
  • Big Red Slog: The Clifford Story

• Wyatt will fill you in

• A week of Antonio discussions

• Should I go to San Antonio with Antonio?

• I don’t even know when Antonio started working with the podcast 

• It only feels like 50 years, Antonio

• Shoutout to Stephen and The Challenge

• Is that synergy?

• Did Michael Eisner ever dance to the song “Pure Energy” as “Pure Synergy”?

• It’s always great that you’re willing to try out new things in the beginning, Antonio

• Even when they don’t work

• That was honestly a swing and a miss

• You just set the bar so high

• Wow Antonio just really kept my ego in check

• Maybe we’ll play Toppling Towers later

• Wyatt checks in

• An amazing adventure to be ordinary

• An amazing adventure to be one of many

• Josie and Santos and Boyd

• An innovative, immersive theatre adventure before that was a thing

• We’d gone into a mall looking for concentrate

• If I sold the concentrate, I could pay for school

• We helped someone in the World of Cutlery

• We got some swords and other cutlery as thanks

• A puppet dressed to be wrapped in ace bandages called Mommy

• Oh, this is immersive theatre!

• Let’s lean into this theatre quest while we look for the concentrate

• A remote-controlled animatronic, carried in a painter’s tarp

• We’d got to this store for Rx-type things and candy

• It was called Fay’s

• Not pristine, not destroyed

• A Palette Jack

• We can put the mommy on the palette while we look for concentrate

• We can’t find any more Ace bandages

• Mommy needs help being put back together

• We had one femur piece and a dried out summer sausage

• It would be great to get cups and pipe cleaners

• We still need something like an Ace bandage – better thant toilet paper

• To the sock store!

• Mommy wasn’t saying much, probably to conserve batteries

• We went to the sock store

• Nowadays, there are novelty shops

• But this was just a sock store called Sock Hop

• Cutting socks into tubes

• Femur inside sausage inside cup inside of socks – Bingo!

• Then we went to the juice store and started loading up concentrate

• Boyd and Josie worked on the Mommy

• Debate about bringing the juice back

• It was ours for the taking

• An autumnal seasonal display left out too long

• With this new look, it looked like a giant sock being

• KnIRL (Knitting In Real Life)

• A large multi-colored sock puppet

• We heard something far away

• A consistent murmuring sound

• Sock Mommy reactivated and wants to know where their cat is

• Sock Mommy can’t go home without their cat

• We all make a really good team

• Tucking Sock Cat in the arms of Sock Mommy

• That was the puzzle solution

• Where’s home, Sock Mommy?

• A convoluted backstory based on fiction

• She was a sorceress from the Valley of the Sorceress

• The Imaginary Land of Egypt

• She learned a bunch of magic back then

• She loved her cat

• She had some rivals

• Someone made her cat visit the Big Litter Box in the Sky

• Using magic to make her cat return from the Big Litter Box

• A wild Star Wars fan theory

• But all the cats came back

• Negotiating with all these cats that came back

• Now her rivals pounced on this opportunity

• The Fictional Record of Historical Record

• They made sure there was no record of her magic-using

• She came from the Palace of Learning

• Where rulers go to discuss the laws

• Oh, she was at Mixelplix

• You mean the Multiplex??

• Stepping towards the Multiplex

• A movie is playing inside

• A black and white movie is playing in there

• This movie was Mommy’s backstory

• England, 1930, people discovered Mommy’s essence

• She had a plan but it didn’t work out for her

• Are we supposed to be watching this movie for clues?

• The Professor has a child

• Maybe Mommy would become an internal imaginary friend of the child

• But they figure out Mommy’s plan

• They make a campfire and don’t discuss it with Mommy

• Then the movie ended and starts over again

• Mommy wasn’t in the movie

• We have to get Mommy back into the movie

• Let’s tip her back into the movie

• Then there was a flash and she was back in the movie

• We spent a lot of time trying to figure out this puzzle

• How is this movie even playing?

• Identifying the perfect time to get her back into the movie

• The sock puppet cat had also fallen into the movie

• The little child was petting the sock puppet cat in the movie

• The little girl just wants to be nice but nobody listens to her

• Looking at it from every angle

• Mommy wants to teach everyone that she is timeless and not to be messed with

• Does Mommy want to be remembered positively or teach them a moral?

• The best way to teach a moral is to live well

• What if the movie contains time travel?

• If we put her into the movie at the right time, it could change the movie outcome

• We made her look like the sock puppet cat and put her into the beginning of the movie

• Just Be Timeless

• Mommy needs to bring something of real value into this new world

• She wants to take the juice concentrate

• They begrudgingly accept

• (There’s more juice back at the store)

• We all kind of knew something else was at play

• The Game Master was calling us out for stealing the juice

• The movie became a colorful, animated cereal commercial

• A high energy commercial starring the Mommy and her cereal

• But this cereal has tropical juice flavors

• And Julius J Juice is now the professor

• Mommy Mallows (with Dr. Julius J Juice)

• Creamsicle-Flavored Cereal

• Everything was gone after the big flash – obviously that’s some stage magic

• Waiting for someone to congratulate us on solving the puzzle

• We fell asleep on those plush velvet seats