1178 – Footloose Star Light Sheep | Make Great Pets 12
Rin and Cinda meet out on the edge of someplace, somewhere, out there, where all will be well.
Episode 1178 – Footloose Star Light Sheep | Make Great Pets 12
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, here’s a…I don't know…I just tried to guess what PSA stood for, personal service advisory or something, but this one’s a pet-servicing advisory or pet service avocation. Pet your pets if you can, even if it’s not physically. I mean, I know some pets you can’t pet physically, but give them a look of love. Let’s do that; let’s give them a look, because when I say, give…that, for some reason, brought up a bunch of jingles from commercials I watched in the nineties. So, give…something like, if you wear cotton, you’ll get a look of love. I think that was a…but anyway, look lovingly at your pets. Pet them. They’re so great. You may be confused, though, because it’s time for Sleep With Me, a podcast that’s more than a little confusing.
It’s the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. We keep you company in the deep, dark night. This podcast actually doesn’t put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep. It’s very different, so give it a few tries, if you’re new. That’s what most regular listeners say. But the show exists because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a friend in the deep, dark night who makes bedtime a little bit more palatable so you could look…here’s a thing; you don’t got pets — look lovingly at your pillows. I mean, pillows…my pillows, I love them. I would say pillowtonically, I love…pillows; I love you pillowtonically. That’s a mouthful. Pillows; don’t…please don’t put them in your mouth.
Don’t put my pillow…yeah, pillows; keep them out of your mouth. If you’re confused, you’re in the right place. What we got coming up, we’ll have some support — that’s how the show comes out free — then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, then a bedtime story from our episodically modular show, Make Great Pets. So, settle in, get comfortable, start getting ready for bed and unwinding, 'cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind, things you’re thinking about about the past, the present, the future, could be physical sensations or feelings or emotions related to those thoughts or that are just there, could be changes in time or temperature or routine.
Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so that you could fall asleep, because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable. You deserve a bedtime you don’t have to dread or start thinking about early in the day…or on Friday, you’re thinking about falling asleep on Sunday night. I know how that feels, and saying, not again. Please, not again on that rigmarole. This is a podcast…I think if you get the rest you need, not only is your life gonna be more manageable, but then eventually, if you do it on a regular basis, if you get that sleep, you have a bedtime routine, maybe you could be out there flourishing, and that means our world’s a better place to be in if your world’s a better place to be in.
So, yeah, that’s…what was that? That was one part. What I’ll do, though, is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’ll use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I’ll get mixed up, I’ll go off topic, then I’ll forget what I was talking about, then I’ll double back around, then I’ll say, wait a second, did I say Oshkosh B’gosh? When was the last time I was at an Oshkosh B’gosh outfit? I stood outside of one. I do recall standing outside of an Oshkosh B’gosh on…in a outside mall. It was not the greatest time of all. I was waiting for someone using the restroom. I think I was holding their drink, and I looked in there…I’m pretty sure there was a slide in there. Well, what is Osh…? I don't know, that’s just a phrase I say.
To my knowledge, I may have owned one hand-me-down pair of green Oshkosh B’gosh jeans. Here’s something I don’t recall ever owning and I don’t think I will, even though they look great on some people; overalls. Overalls; I don’t…I mean, maybe as a kid I had some overalls, but I don’t think so. Well, I can kinda picture those…what are those things called? Suspender things, but I don't know. Probably…I don't know, maybe…yeah, I can’t recall putting on…I mean, if I did, they were probably…maybe corduroy? But not Oshkosh B’gosh. The one…I know I had a pair of green jeans, and they were from one of my older cousins. I’m not sure if they were Oshkosh B’gosh, but that was one of my early brushes where I felt close to fame, because there was a person…so, there was a show, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, right?
Not everybody knows about that, but there was a documentary and then a film about Mr. Rogers, and he had a children’s show and he was very friendly, but he had a friend or a neighbor or somebody called Mr. Green Jeans. Now, I could get e-mails…and say, Scoots, this was a fever dream. I say, okay, well, it was…well, I guess it was, but…and when I had green jeans…this is how simple I used to be…I think I’m still the same way, like, simple pleasures in life…I said, I got green jeans; Mr. Green Jeans is known for their green jeans. Wow, I feel like Mister…this must be how Mr. Green Jeans feels. Plus, green jeans were not common. I mean, I guess that’s why he was called Mr. Green Jeans. I never thought about that.
I just said…I really felt like…associated with Mr. Green Jeans, like some sort of…the spotlight was glowing off Mr. Green Jeans onto me. I felt special. I felt good. It was much…many, many, many decades later where I…oh, you get esteem from esteemable acts, not from green jeans. But early on, I was trying to attain my esteem through green jeans. That’s a little sample from The Mr. Green Jeans Story, which will never be published 'cause they said, please don’t…please…they said, we’d rather you don’t…and I said, no problem. I’ll just do it in my imagination and I’ll procrastinate on it, anyway. But, I don't know, that would be cool. You say, well, you got those Marvel backstories; maybe they’re work…I don't know, they’re working on the DC universe, I hear.
Occasionally they say, well, should we go backwards or should we go forwards? Or should we just start in the middle of the story? I’d say, well, if you’re looking to plumb the depths of a backstory, I’d say…how does one become Mr. Green Jeans? Maybe that was on the show, but I could handle…I don't know if I could handle…I mean, could you keep it a tight…an hour and forty-two minutes? I don't know if I could handle two hours and forty minutes, unless…they say, wow, it’s quite the story. Mission Impossible 12: Mr. Green Jeans. Oh, anyway, so, where was…? Was I introducing a sleep podcast? Oh, I was trying to talk about pointless meanders and superfluous tangents, then we got one. So, that’s pretty handy, there.
Yeah, so, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents; that means I’ll go off topic and get mixed up, forget about stuff, wonder if a character that was an important part of my childhood even existed. I can feel those jeans, though. I have…good question; I have no idea what age I was. Somewhere between pre-K and maybe four…tops fourth grade. They were not elastic…great follow-up question. I didn’t know we were doing a press conference on this, but that’s great. They did not have an elastic waist. I assume they had a snap waist that looked like one of those Levis’ buttons. Not a button fly, though, though they could have had elastic waist. But they were a denim-like material, or they could…if I was wearing them, there’s a good chance they were 100% polyester, but then they would have had an elastic waist.
I remember…not to keep going on tangents, but one of the pair of pants…one of the images I have of myself as a youth is a blue turtleneck and elastic-waist pants that were plaid, kind of a red, white, and blue plaid, but not in a festive…like, hey, this is the Fourth of July red, white, and blue. More of like…you wouldn’t see them and associate them with the Fourth of July. You just notice that there’s red, white, and blue. I don't know if that’s Madras. I don't think those…I don't know if you can have a plaid that’s 100% polyester. So, those were some sort of other material. As one kid at school that could give me a hard time would say, I love what you’ve done with your mother’s drapes, or something. He probably said that to me. That’s what he usually…but that was…that’s what I’d wear for Picture Day, I think, and I felt good.
I can picture myself…I mean, that’s one of those memories where I’m smiling from ear to ear. ‘Cause when you got a elastic waistband and a turtleneck that was pretty much skin-tight, yes…but, yeah, you just…that’s…that was what they built the Oshkosh B’gosh brand on, even though none of those clothes were by Oshkosh. That was…what was that? Was that just…? Was that Simon and Garfunkel or just Simon, the Oshkosh B’gosh state of mind? That was one of the greatest marketing campaigns that never existed only in my mind. You know you’ve got an Oshkosh state of mind. They could have…that could have been a thing, but it was just…the stars did not align. So, okay, so, I’m here to introduce a sleep podcast, huh? Oh, boy. It’s not going great, but it’s going exactly how it’s supposed to.
So, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. You may have already figured that out. You just kinda…you go, uh-huh, okay. Uh-huh, elastic waistband; check. Uh-huh. Never wore overalls…I doubt it, but it’s possible, maybe. Oh, by the way, most…if someone’s wear…that’s a high-crush likelihood, if…for people in overalls. Or if not a romantic crush, a crush like, well, I wish I was that person and I could sport those overalls. Is that a Huck Finn…? Do I have a Huck Finn complex? Does anybody…is that a thing? Could we get that in the DSVM-27? Oh, yes, you’re falling into a Huck Finn delusion again, Scoots. Okay, well, I’m gonna go paint some fences, then, and…that’s Tom Sawyer. Oh, okay. Well, I’m gonna go ask Aunt Polly for a cracker and then try to get through the sleep…so, this is a podcast you just…uh-huh, oh boy.
Aunt Polly, eh? Okay. So, it’s…you just kinda barely listen. You can listen; that’s the thing. I’m here to the very end. This show is over an hour because some people can’t fall asleep, and so, I’m here to keep them company. But that’s the thing about this podcast; there’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s why I’m here for over an hour. Some people listen during the day. This is a podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind…now, I will…I do propose…you may have forgotten you were listening to a sleep podcast or something to put you to sleep, and I couldn’t blame you. You’d say, I have no idea what he’s talking about. It’s not really interesting, but it’s not uninteresting.
I don't understand if he’s trying to make a point or if he’s doing it on purpose or he’s just being himself. Check, the last one, but…but yeah, I don't even have any idea what’s going on, but it’s not bad. It’s a podcast that I just barely listen…kinda keeps me company, 'cause I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your bore-friend, your friend in the deep, dark night, just like if you called me and you said, could you talk to me about nothing? Do you think you could go on a eight-minute tangent about Oshkosh B’gosh that has very little to do with Oshkosh B’gosh? I say, by gosh, I can. How many different pieces of intellectual property could I parody or satire while I’m…by accident?
No, on…100% on purpose, but, you know, that seems like a total accident. Also, if there’s any way you could use an Oshkosh B’gosh metaphor to help me understand what those words mean, that would be terrific. So, this podcast doesn’t put you to sleep. It just keeps you company. You don’t really listen to it. More good news; takes two or three tries to get used to the show because it is so different. You’ve already experienced that, though. But yeah, why wouldn’t…? If you’re skeptical or doubtful, why wouldn’t you be? I’ve just proved your point for you. But eventually what happens is you go, oh, okay, now I get it. He does…he knows that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but he knows what he’s doing and he never…he’s always doing it but he’s never getting it done. I’d say, yeah, you’re right about that.
What if…has there ever been a character…? Maybe Uncle Eddie would say, overalls? Oh, I’m wearing…I thought they do just fine as under-alls. I don't know, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, 'cause they’d be too…you’d say, they’re too bulky. Why do you have your…so, you’re wearing your thermal under…? Oh, thermal over-wear? I have my thermal over-wear on my over…on my under-alls. Uncle Eddie…so, where was I? Okay, oh, good news is this podcast takes some getting used to. If you loathe the show…you’re probably already sending me a e-mail, but just in case you’re still listening, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has tons of other sleepy stuff on there. Just exchanging e-mails with another sleep podcaster today.
So, there’s other sleep podcasts on there and sleepy stuff you could check out, 'cause you still deserve a good night’s sleep, even if this podcast doesn’t help you. So, those are…structure of…oh, structure of the show; that’s the other thing I gotta talk about. So, the show has a very specific structure, but you can adjust it as you become a regular listener. Starts out with the greetings; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in, then there’s support for the show via sponsors and listeners so the show could be free and come out twice a week. Then there’s support for listeners who are having a tough time and community stuff, then there’s the intro, which is separate from the support, and I don't want you missing out on it.
Can you believe where we…eight to twelve minutes ago, I was just looking in a window, waiting for someone going to the bathroom, quoting a Whitney Houston song, and trying to relate it to Oshkosh B’gosh. Then some…who came up first? Which came first, the Oshkosh B’gosh or the green jeans? I have no idea. So, I don't want you missing out on the intro, 'cause the intro is not so much to put you to sleep, but to ease you into bedtime. You could fall asleep during the intro, you could skip the intro, but for most listeners, the intro’s part of their wind-down routine, whether you’re getting ready for bed, you’re doing some other chill activity, or you’re in bed getting comfortable. The intro creates a buffer during the day and sleep…I mean, to be honest…and maybe it’s just people that listen to Sleep With Me or people that are in this sub-niche; I need…that’s how long it takes me to wind down and get to sleep.
It takes a little while. But then, when I’m wound down, then I’m ready to ease into bedtime and sleep. So, that’s why the intro is somewhere between ten and twenty minutes long. Then there’s support again so the show could be free, but you could pay if you don’t want to listen to the ads. Then there’s our bedtime story. Tonight will be our episodically modular series, Make Great Pets, about how great pets are. Then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I think my experience in…steam through green jeans; there you go…is pretty much what qualifies me to make podcasts, keep you company, and put you to sleep. I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. It’s time for our episodically modular series, the…Make Great Pets. If you’re new…so, welcome. So glad you’re here and I could still be here with you, keeping you company. Here’s what…you say, what’s a…? I’ve never heard of this series. What’s it called? Make Great Pets, it’s called. What does episodically modular…means? It means you could listen to it in any order. Most of the episodes are mostly self-contained, but even if you decide…so, this is…this should be Episode 12 that you’re listening to, but you could listen to this first and listen to all eleven episodes even out of order, and it’ll still make enough sense for a bedtime story that kind of makes sense. I won't set everything up at the beginning, but the character will, to fill you in. But it’s about pets helping people, which is great.
That’s what we all say is great, right? It’s great when pets help people. It’d be great if pets pulled their own weight a little bit, maybe, but…that’s just a joke. I’m kidding, Koa. She’s listening, so I was being a little passive, saying, you could…instead of creating bills, you could pay bills. But, you know, dogs and pets help in so many other ways, including…they’re…you really can’t beat a cold nose. If it was something…I mean, I never thought…well, I guess I did think, but a cold, wet nose brings me so much joy, really. One of the highlights of my…it doesn’t happen every day, especially on the inside of my arm, on the soft part of my arm. Say, oh, that’s…or on the…what’s that called? My lower leg. It’s like a nose-kiss. I love it.
Speaking of kisses, there’s a vocal kiss we’re about to receive from our Hollywood announcer, who drives here all the way from Los Angeles. It’s over 300 miles, and there’s a lot of traffic, or can be. He never talks about that, though. He never talks about the distance, never talks about the traffic, even though I beg him to keep a journal of his stops and thoughts he’s thinking or places he would like to stop. He doesn’t do that, either. But he comes here out of his love of people…the need to put people to sleep and to put a flourish on a podcast that’s a low-flourish podcast. So, we’re so grateful to have him, as always, on our episodically modular series, Mr. Antonio Banderas.
The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to make great pets. Meow…and thank you. Yes, I’m here for the love of listeners and the love of sleep. Yeah. Thanks, Antonio. Looking forward to playing…could we play that tile game, H-I-V-E later? Oh, wait, I can’t say that, either. Could we play the tile game with the garden friends later? Oh, yes. I’m looking forward to it. Okay, so that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas, and this is Make Great Pets. Thanks, everybody.
Hey everybody, this is Ren, and I am…let’s see, how do I introduce myself? I don't know if you’re…if you’re listening to this, you’re either…I want to say you’re part of the same training program I’m a part of, but you’ll be in a different stage of a training program that I was a part of, 'cause I’m training…I’ve been trained, but then I’m actively recording these as a part of the training process for what I’m doing, which is helping people on Earth at turning points in their lives as one of their pets. This is a program…they say…so, right now I’m inside a pet, asleep, a pet that’s asleep. Believe it or not, I’m supposed to note anything of note.
This is the first time I’ve recorded one after I’ve completed a task and I’m asleep, 'cause usually you gain consciousness…it’s weird; you wake up when your pet’s asleep, and then I…but I already knew I was inside the pet, going through a day, and saying, okay, there’s where…there’s why…I lay down, there’s the person maybe I’m working with, or it could be this person. This is the first time…my pet must already be asleep and I came into the pet when they were asleep, or I…my memory turned on or whatever, because normally I would have had a full day of reporting, but I don’t. So, that’ll be interesting tomorrow. I’ll have a lot more to tell you. Right now, I only have to tell you that and…oh, why am I here?
‘Cause if you’re listening to this, you probably hear other recordings in order of my current…we’ll call it a mission, but there’s no…it’s not necessarily a mission. It’s kind of like a solve-your-own-adventure instead of a choose-your-own…solve-your-own-adventure or choose…solve-your-own…someone-else’s-adventure. Because if you’re part of the program…or maybe you’re just listening to this, or maybe the program’s taken on a new form or it’s more like this training I’m receiving…though I did get…take a great body-awareness class and some breathing classes and a lot of listening classes. But so, what’s important to know is that later, I’ll be…the pet will wake up and then I’ll observe things and eventually find what human I’m supposed to help, and it’ll be a turning point in their life, where, as their pet, I’m supposed to help them navigate this turning point.
Maybe you’ll hear more training based on the choices I’ve been making, 'cause it can be hard. Am I supposed to influence them or comfort them? Am I supposed to help them find their way or not? Do they know I’m there? No. Do I have full control of their pet? No. So, I can’t do things a pet couldn’t do, like communicate, even if it was some sort of barking that sounded like language, or start typing on a typewriter. I can smash a typewriter with paws, but I can’t make the connections…I only have a slight…probably more than slight influence over the pet. So, a lot of times, I’ve chosen art or comfort or drawing something, and not doing a great…I say, well, I’ll do a light bulb, but then it looks like a swirly circle. So, basically, that’s what I’m here for.
There is another thing of note I’ve been noticing, is that there seems to be another program. Oh, so what is the program we’re in? Just in case you’re listening to this…you never heard it before. I guess the only way you could be listening to this is if you’re in a post-Earthly existence, unless something’s totally changed or someone downloads the audio and then sends it to Earth. But I’m a post-Earthly being and as a part of my post-Earthly existence, I was given this opportunity to take part in this program where…the Make Great Pets program, where we don’t make pets and we don’t make pets great, and there’s very little…you’d say, great; I get to help. I guess that…as a pet.
But it is called the Make Great Pets program, and probably 'cause other programs like Pet Friends or Pets That Guard You As You’re Make…Navigating A Important Decision In Your Life, is that this program may be…well, this is where I say there’s another…other programs, but there’s been other programs in the past, too, where they had to…they had something called guardian angels once, and then they had guardian…people who made poor decisions with their time on Earth. Those programs did not work. They were unsuccessful to a very large degree. Now, luckily, because of…whatever…I don't understand Earth…redundant Earth or…I don't understand that stuff because I watched too many movies as a Earthbound human. But so, those programs did not work.
You may have even heard of the Besos/Penny/Sears incidents and timeline where…that was where the guardian agent…guardian agent? Guardian angel program was proven to be not great twice, two different ways. They also, at the time, created their new program, which was guardian people who made poor choices while they were on Earth program. That did not work, either. So, now they’re trying this program that I’m a part of, but there also seems to be another program going on with someone named Cinda, who is part of a program that seems similar. Cinda takes human form. I don't have a whole lot of details on this, just what I’ve been studying…or a name like Lucinda.
I don't understand the mechanics of how Cinda’s able to be a family…a trusted member of the family or friend or a relative and go and help the people…the same people I’m trying to help at a turning point in their lives, at the same turning point or around the same turning point, 'cause we’re usually there at the same general time frame. But also that Cinda…the training Cinda’s received and maybe the task is…'cause our thing is to make it a good, long-term decision that’s additive to the lives of the people we’re there to help in their world. But Cinda’s decision make…Cinda’s…what, a goal? I don't know if you’d call it that, or mission, is not the same as ours. It is to help the person get the most out of this turning point in their lives in a more efficient, direct way.
I’m trying to think…okay, well, and this is probably not the best example, but let’s say someone handed you the keys of a candy store and you liked candy. That’s probably not the best example, but maybe Cinda…I don't think Cinda would say just to take all the candy and enjoy it. But you’d say, well, you could run it as…whose keys are they? But I guess I…that’s what I…well, who’s…how do you feel about candy stores? Why did they give you the keys? Oh, are you supposed to help? Is this your business? Cinda was like, clear out the candy store if…as long as you’re not…if there’s not…if we can prove there’s not gonna be consequences of you clearing out the candy store, take everything in the store or take over the store and let’s get the most out of it, whether it’s eating the candy or making a profit on the candy.
But that doesn’t mean…this isn’t right or wrong or anything. It’s just, I would be more like, okay, well, yeah, maybe running it as a…are you supposed to be running it as a business? Do you want to run a candy-based…? So, I don't know, different approaches. It does seem to be slightly competitive, but I don't know. So, that’s everything right now. I’m gonna close my eyes and rest, 'cause you do need to sleep, but mostly the sleep comes easy, except for waking up and knowing you have to record your mission log. So, a pet’s…pet…I wanted to say something like Star Trek, Pet’s Log, but it’s like, I haven’t been…I don't know what pet I’m in. Okay, so, I’ll be back. Oh, hey everybody, this is Ren. I don't know if I introduced myself last time. I’m Ren, a post-Earthly human. I think you knew that. Oh boy, do I have a lot to say.
I recorded my last message and I said, I’m not…I woke up, but I’m not inside a pet. I woke up this time, and Cinda was there. I also mentioned Cinda. I don't think Cinda was listening, but as soon as I could see, I could see Cinda sitting there. Cinda said, hey, glad you finally woke up. I need your help. I could see…what’s that stuff called? Wool, so I’m assuming I’m a…things feel a little off. I’ll be honest, I don't feel the sheep, but I see the wool and I smell the sheep. I sense the sheep and I also hear it baa-ing. Cinda does seem to like the sheep, or do a lot of petting, but I can’t feel it. But I haven’t told Cinda that, and I’m only starting to process it now. But Cinda said that…Cinda said, I need your help. I’m glad you woke up. I said, okay. But I mean, I was already…I just woke up, and then…I already stated, are we in a competition?
Some things…I don't always remember everything, either, so…but Cinda said, I need your help. I said, okay, well, how can I try to help? Cinda said, I want to work together. I said, okay. We’re here to help out this person. Starlight is the name. Great name. I said, okay, and then Cinda said, she’s out here, isolated, tending sheep alone. I said, okay. Cinda said, she’s out here alone and isolated by choice, but not a choice she realizes she made. I was like, okay, okay. I was trying to use my same listening skills. I said, okay…'cause this is part of my process, anyway, which you’ll hear about if you’ve never heard about it, 'cause Cinda asked me about it. Then I said, okay, well, what…why do you need my help? Cinda said, well, I’ve realized, what if we’re supposed to be a team?
We’ve been working…and Cinda paused and said, kinda like parallel play. I said, well, parallel play, I don't know if…and then Cinda said, I think I have a lot to learn from you. So, maybe we could help Starlight together. I said, okay, so, we’re gonna help Starlight, who’s here on a sheep farm by their-selves. Cinda just nodded. Cinda said, well, where would you start? I said, okay, well, who are…we do the W thing. Cinda kinda…tell me more, which is good for training. So, it’s good for you that Cinda was asking me, 'cause I try to go through…and this is what…who, what, where, when, why, how, to kinda figure out who is the person we’re supposed to be helping and what is the decision-making…what is the turning point of their lives that we’re supposed to help with? So, I said, okay, who, Cinda, would be Starlight, right?
We think. I said, but that’s the only human here, Earth-based human. I said, but you’re a human? Cinda kinda shrugged and smiled and then shook her head ‘no’ after a pause. I said, well, that’s…then she said…gave me this…the symbol. Go on. I said, so, Starlight is here alone. I said, does she want to be alone? I said, I’m gonna need more for the ‘who’. Who, what…yeah, what does she want to be? What is going on with Starlight? Who, what, where, when…I said, okay, right now I’m here in this…oh, this is kinda like a nice, cozy stable. Okay, but where’s Starlight? I haven’t met Starlight yet. Who, what, where, when, now…who, what, where, when, why, and how. Starlight said…or, I mean, sorry, Cinda said, yeah, what’s the how? What’s your how? I said, well, I don't have…I’d gather more information, probably.
Cinda said, well, what if you had to act based on the information you have right now? I say, okay, well…I mean, as a sheep? Again, what was strange is we were communicating, and it’s not like I was a talking sheep. You get that, right? But I felt like I was talking and using my hands for expressions and things, and Cinda was kinda reacting that way, but maybe it was telecommunication. But I thought I could hear my own voice. But again, this is ethereal, for sure. But to go back to the how, I said, well, I would probably try to see what Starlight’s connections are, maybe get her to connect more, even if it’s online or think…make a list of connections or look at old…maybe try to find photographs? Getting more…I need more info, I guess.
So, thus far, it’s like, okay, this is…something feels weird, but…I said, yeah, I guess I’d do that, but then I was trying to do that to show Cinda, and that’s when I realized…I said, wait a second, am I inside the sheep or…? So, finally, that stuff of me wondering if I was…that caught up with me, 'cause I said, I’m not feeling like I can move the sheep or anything. Am I in…? I don't know exact…and then Cinda said, no, look around you. Because here’s the thing; when you’re used to looking through the eyes of a pet but it’s a different pet every time, the detail…this was…should have been obvious. So, I guess, point of training; maybe look around more, 'cause I was in some sort of jar-like thing around…on a necklace around the sheep, and I could see myself in my…I mean, similar to a post-Earthly person, I mean, a Earthly person, even.
I had my full, corporal being. I started patting myself, but then I said, okay, I’m in some sort of jar-like thing. Cinda nodded and said, yeah, it’s a device. I said, what do you mean? I’m in a device? Cinda said, yeah, yeah, it’s a device of my own devising. I wanted to try a new approach. I said, well, is Starlight gonna be able to see me? That’ll be weird. Cinda said, no, no, no. I said, okay, well, I’m confused, really confused now. Cinda said, well, I’m gonna act for you. Something happened. You’ll be fine. You’ll come with me and we’re gonna go…and I’ll be your pet, almost, and we’ll go try to figure out these connections. But I said, what if you just connect with Starlight? Cinda said, well, Starlight’s not home right now. I said, I thought Starlight was isolated? Cinda said, well, Starlight’s out…there’s other sheep other than you.
You know, you’re not the center…even though…but I said, I’m not a sheep. I’m in some sort of jar. Cinda said, it’s not a jar. It’s a device. I said, okay, great. Cinda said, come on, let’s go look around the cabin or the home. I guess it’s not a…it’s a cabin that’s a home, or you could call it a house. But then I kinda was like, trying to make small talk, but also trying to figure…I said, so, Cinda, while we’re looking through here, can I ask you some stuff? Sure, sure, sure. I said, are you in some sort of…? I’m in a training program to help people at turning points in their lives through their pets, and it seems like you’re in a pro…you’re in a similar program where you’re helping people at turning points in their lives, but you get to be a person. How does that work? Cinda said, I don't really know, but it’s good and it’s not good.
I said, what do you mean? Cinda said, well, I don't get to be a full human, you know. I’m just there…she goes, I go in-between when I’m there helping the person. I kinda…I can’t go…she goes, I wanted to go to a 7-Eleven; couldn’t do that. So, it’s just frustrating. Kinda like you just came out a thing, woke up in my device, I wake up. So, it’s like I’m only there for the moments I’m supposed to be there or something. I don't have full…I have full control, but it’s like…did you ever see that movie with the people…in that movie with the…about the juice of the…betal juice, and if they tried to open the door and go outside, there was giant deserts with earthworms that would say, hey, go back inside? I said, yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Cinda said, it’s not the same as that, but I can’t just go anywhere.
So, it’s kind of a bummer, not being able to go anywhere. I said, like, see people or whatever? Cinda said, yeah, that’s tough. I’d like to go see people, yeah. I said, okay, that’s tough. I’m sorry. I actually felt the need to apologize to…I said, I kinda was feeling like you were in the way of me doing my task, but I didn’t even think about…that it would be…I felt like it was unfair that you get to be human. I didn’t realize it would be challenging to be only kind of human. Cinda said, yeah, it’s a real challenge. I said, so, you can’t go to…you can’t even go…you can’t go to a 7-Eleven? Cinda said, well, there was one time I got to go to one, but it was part of my assignment. So, that was good; I got some…the donuts with the…I said, with the crumbly crunchies on there? She said, yeah.
I said, I…she said, yeah, I’ve been doing this a little while. I said, oh, okay. I said, do you feel like this is gonna be useful to us helping Starlight? Cinda said, how? I said, yeah, like the who, what, where, when, why, how part. Do you think that Starlight…maybe this is why we’re both here, is to help Starlight realize those connections, or that Starlight likes living here with just the sheep? I said, I don't know, because I haven’t met Starlight. If that’s…if this is a thing where we’re like, hey, let’s just help you make the most of this, you seem like this is your choice…or are you avoiding making another choice that Cinda and I can help you with? ‘Cause we don’t want…I guess we don’t want to be in a life-unlived situation with regret, right?
But Cinda seemed distracted suddenly, 'cause Cinda said, do you ever wonder how long your training program is? I said, good…I said, I guess in the back of my mind, but now I’m wonder…I don't know. Cinda said, yeah, what if…how do you feel…how have you felt? I said, well, it’s…feels…it’s got some ups and downs. Like you said, it’s not great being in a pet you can’t control. I’ve been busy, but you can’t control the people, either. That can be hard. I guess I…because I’ve been a pet, I can’t relate to your…now that you brought…now I’ll probably be thinking about going to do stuff, like you said, so that’ll be probably hard to get out of my head. Hopefully the pet will…hopefully I won't…I don't know what I’ll do about that. I said, so, yeah, I can see how it’d be tough, what you’re doing. Cinda said, it’s real tough.
Do you ever think about the angels or the guardian angels? I said, a little bit, 'cause, yeah, those were programs that preceded us. Cinda said, it’s almost like I planted a seed in you by accident, so now I feel bad. I said, what do you mean? Cinda said, I think about this…if this is what we’re…what I’m gonna be…how long am I gonna be doing this for? Or, I’ve been thinking about that and this thirst I have now for Earth and that I can’t slake that thirst, right? I said, sounds like this is…but it’s a process, right? The thing about being part of a training program or a new program…I don't know anything about your program. They didn’t tell us about it. But the thing is that it’s a process, right? There is…being patient is a part of the process. That’s what I’ve learned with working with the humans and being a pet.
Cinda said, that’s kinda garbage. I said, what did you say about the angels and the guardian angels? I said…or Cinda said, well, it didn’t work out because…what if they were…they wanted…they were too close to Earth? What if…? I said, oh, okay, this is really hard on you, huh? Cinda said, yeah, but the difference is that…with us…and she was referring to me; she said, I think also they lost…they started…the angels started to look at people like they were pets, and maybe they were too close and too far away at the same time. That’s where the all-or-nothing stuff came in, and I think that’s probably why it didn’t work out. Now, I didn’t totally track Cinda’s thoughts, but I said, oh, wow, yeah, okay.
Now, laying here, sleeping in a device or wherever I am, even though when I close my eyes, I’m still in the same place, I get it in some sense…or the pet metaphor is like, the angels were trying to train humans, maybe, and then there was frustration? I think I talked…Cinda said, well, we both love humans. I’ve seen you, Ren. You love humans. You love humanity. She said, we both have fresh humanity between the two of us, too. I said, holy cow, she’s right about that. I can feel the humanity coming off. We haven’t lost our humanity, huh? I said…'cause I don't know anything about angels, right, other than what I was trained and what I heard on Earth about the whole thing with Besos/Penny. Oh, that was post-Earth. She said, we’re so close to humanity now. I said, yeah, I guess…we’re supposed to be close to it, right?
We’re supposed to love it. That’s why we want to help. Cinda said, yeah, maybe we should take a break and get some rest. I said, okay, well…it was a long time looking around. I’m just summarizing. So, I’m gonna rest and then I’ll be back again tomorrow, I guess. So…okay, so, I did come…this is Ren again. Hi, everybody. It’s the next day. I think this is my third day here or something, or my second day. So, I got a lot of info; holy cow. It was a long day. Starlight eventually came back, but there’s a lot of levels to this. First of all, Cinda and I were talking. When I got up, Cinda was already up. We were talking about love and our jobs, and which is…Cinda was just going off about…not going off, but on tangents about…well, you have this one way approach, and we’ve had a…I’ve had a different approach, and…but we both love people.
I said, okay. Cinda’s…a lot about this love topic, but seems to be struggling with it. I said, is our programs in…do you know if they’re in competition? Is this the kind of thing where we’re supposed to prove…is there the guardian angels versus the guardian buds versus the pets versus the efficient…the Cinda…help you get…what do you think your job is, Cinda? Cinda said, it’s kinda simple; I’m supposed to help them get the feelings they want now, to find a way to get the feelings…they have feelings, and I’m trying to help them get what they want now that’ll help them with the feelings they’re having. I said, oh, okay, that’s kinda what I thought. Cinda said, Starlight’s gonna be back soon, but there’s something else you should know of why everything feels a little bit different. I said, okay, what is it?
Then I said, do you mind if I ask…before you lay this on me, can I ask you a couple more questions? Cinda said, sure. I said, so, I end up randomly…I’ve been having trouble with this stuff. I’ve been randomly appearing in different pets to help different people. Is that how it has been for you, or do you get to choose, or is it random? Cinda said, not exactly. I said, what do you mean, not exactly? Cinda said, it’s…I’m getting closer and closer to people…and Cinda said, never mind. I said, people like you might have known or you know or like people like you know? Cinda’s like, yeah. It’s something…if I have…the more I focus, the closer I get. I said, this is a delicate question, Cinda. Now, I feel like when I…one of the…you said the word ‘fresh humanity’, right?
I know when I was on Earth, if you were to lay out the rules in a clear green checkmark or a red X way, that I don't think I would be assigned this task, because I had everything in the green check marks. I had some green check marks and some red Xs, too. But I think, if you were to ask me…say, yeah, I wasn’t…Ren wasn’t…I wasn’t the best Ren I could have been, but I was doing the best I could. When they told me about this program, I said, great, because I do have some feelings about not being the best Ren I could. But I also said…when I was thinking about what it would be like in a post-Earthly thing, I said, well, I wouldn’t want to be a part of any post-Earthly thing that’s really counting all your green check marks and red Xs. It’s more like that I would want…I would have wanted a post-Earthly existence.
But it said, well, what was the best…? What would the best version of Ren be? I said, well, interesting. Well, I put that on my pro…I put that on my application to be a part of this program. So, I’m just wondering if you feel like you’re not…I guess I’ll just say it; you’re not all red check marks, right? Or red…you’re not…you know what I’m saying, right, Cinda? Cinda said, well, I’ve got quite a few regrets, too, Ren, and I would say that maybe my life was a little bit un-lived. But it wasn’t all red check marks or red Xs or greens, either; you’re right. But there was this calmness about Cinda where I would have thought the reaction would be, what in the name of…that would be funny if Cinda said, what in the name of Moses?
I’d say, I don't know, what in the…I said, okay, well, you were supposed to tell me something important and then I went off, and I was wondering about things. Cinda said, right now, where Starlight is, is a middle place. At the time, it took a little more explaining, but I think that’s 'cause Cinda was more…and I said, what? I don't understand. Cinda said, Starlight’s between the Earth…hasn’t gone…is not in the big farm or on Earth right now, but is deciding where Starlight wants to be. I said, like in the movies with the light and stuff? Cinda said, yeah, like in the movies with the light and the stuff. I said, it could…Starlight has a choice? Cinda said, kind of. If that connection can pull Starlight back, then Starlight can go back. Cinda said, I don't understand it, Ren. I said, do you get a briefing before your missions?
Cinda said, of course. You don’t get a briefing…? I said, I just wake up in a pet. Cinda laughed and patted me on the back. Cinda said, yeah, so, we’re supposed to help Starlight and that’s why I want to work together, because why would we work in opposition? I said, well, it’s kinda hard, though, to help, because I think both of our choices of what we would want for Starlight is what we’d want for ourselves, right? Cinda said, yeah, but…so, that, maybe, is why we should help. I said, I think I would have to…if this was some sort of thing, I would have to recuse myself. Cinda said, well, that’s not an option. We have to figure out what the draw is as a pet. Then Starlight came.
Now, this was where…Starlight could not see Cinda, which was also different, but I said, well, we’re in a post…middle…between Earthly…in the big farm realm. Then I said…Starlight was kinda walking around, and I said, well, where was Starlight, Cinda? She said, going to get the sheep. I think it was…I don't know. I said, what’ll happen next? I said, she’ll leave and she’ll…or Cinda said this; she’ll leave and she’ll go in one of two directions. She said, we have to figure out what’s gonna pull her in whichever direction. I said, well, the Earth direction makes sense to me. There’s a lot of pictures. I said, oh, it’s like the connections. Okay, I got it. So, I kinda told…laid out my plan. I said, well, put out some pictures. Seems like there’s journals. Doesn’t seem like it would take much. A couple of the pictures that Starlight’s in and stuff.
Cinda said, okay, okay. Then Cinda said, okay, let’s rest. Cinda said, I can do it. So, that was interesting to watch, but even for Starlight…I was kinda watching Starlight, but it was kind of like watching star light, in some sense. It was very different than a normal Earthbound experience, or even the Earthbound experience as a post-Earth being inside a pet. But I’m still pretty confused. I’m really confused, but I figure…I don't know why I feel ominous, but maybe it’s just 'cause it’s heavy, and like Cinda said, I wish I could go to a 7-Eleven and have a Slurpee or something. But I think the pictures will help Starlight, and then we’ll feel good, and then maybe I’ll go to my next mission and get out of this device I’m in. Okay, this is Ren.
I quote…I’ll quote here the famous philosopher on Earth, Emma Otter, who says all will be well, because I woke up a bit ago, and it was quite the scene, man. Starlight and myself were connected to something. Again, this wouldn’t make sense if you were on Earth, but a little bit out of the movies; we were connected to a device, and Cinda was connected to it. I said, what is going on? Then the sheep was connected to it. Cinda said, it’s…it’ll be okay, Ren. All will be well. I said, just like Emma Otter says, but it doesn’t sound like it. I said, what’s happening? Cinda said, I’m going back to Earth through Starlight. Starlight’s decided to go back, and I’m gonna go back. I said, well, how does that work? Cinda said, I don't know, but the…only one way…don't worry about it, 'cause we’re running low on time. I said, running low on time?
I said, so, what is happening? Cinda said, I’m switching places. I’m gonna go back. Starlight will take over for you, and you’ll take over for me. I said, that’s…but Starlight’s not trained to take over to be inside a sheep. Cinda said, she’ll reboot as part of her training program and she’ll figure it out. Clearly, she’s intelligent. We’ve learned a lot about her that I didn’t talk about, but we did. I said, this is not a good idea. Cinda said, it’s a great…yeah, no, it’s a brilliant idea. You’re right, it’s not a good idea. I’ve been working on this for a long, long, long time. I said, so, you’re gonna take Starlight’s place and go back to Earth. I said, but you’ll get caught. Cinda said, not before I get to a 7-Eleven and get to do some other stuff, and I don't think they will. I think it’ll be fine.
Now, maybe you’re listening to this and it’s clear, because it was clear to me, but the trouble was…I said, Cinda’s completely delusional, but I can’t just tell her that. I said, holy cow, what am I going to do? Cinda said, it’s gonna take a little while to get everything running, because it was…I said, did you create…make all this stuff? Cinda said, yeah, I’ve been gathering parts for years and years and years, learning more and more. I said, I don't know what…and I wanted to say something like, this is non-organic. But then it hit me; I said, Cinda’s delusional and this is non-organic. None of this makes any sense. That’s where my heart hurt the most because I said, Cinda’s so delusional, but also something I hadn’t realized…now, this wasn’t a certainty, but…that came up inside me is like, well, this…none…not only is Cinda delusional; what…none of this is real.
I think if you’re listening to this in training, I said, oh, if I was in a post-Earthly training program, they would have unlimited resources, probably. If Cinda’s in the same or a similar parallel training program…I said, sometimes on Earth they would spec…this is all I’m saying to myself in my head, by the way, not to Cinda, 'cause it wouldn’t have worked. But I said, if this was…everything’s just a construct, just like people used to think on Earth, even though Earth’s real and there’s no simulation…because I started to remember. But also, part of me was like, what am I gonna do? I said, poor Cinda. I said, hopefully it is all an illusion, because if Cinda follows through on it…but maybe the cost would be the same. I said, well, part of me, the critic or whatever, said, well, I need more evidence.
I said, okay, some of the cases we’ve done, they’re dreams of sitcoms or famous folk and fairy tales and fables, and they’ve taken place in different time frames that made no sense at all. I said, some of them are like a dream when your temperature’s high, like that android and then the rice. That wasn’t…I said, so, some of them are movies, some of them are fairy tales, fables. Then I said, wait a second, who am I here to help? Am I supposed to be helping…? Then I remembered Footloose, right? Maybe I’ve talked about Footloose before. That was one of the films they showed us without telling us anything during training on movie nights. Some people would joke. That might have been the first film they showed us, that there was gonna be a quiz the next day, right? But there never was.
But in Footloose…and I’m Ren and that was Rin…went to the town, had some stuff, ups and downs, but came and wanted to dance, but knew that Ariel and Ariel’s father were the ones…it took Rin a while to realize, oh, I’m here to help them. I don't know, they showed us a movie a bunch of times, so I think if you see it that many times, you realize, oh, Rin’s really there to help Reverend Shaw so Reverend Shaw can help Ariel, maybe, even. That’s my own theory, but he has to help him heal in the way that he…and then I said, okay, I can’t tell Cinda this is all a delusion or an illusion; either one. It’s not a great idea and it’s not gonna be a great…and I said, I’m supposed to help Cinda here. This is a big turning point in Cinda’s Earthly or post-Earthly existence.
So, I used the Footloose method of saying, hey, you were…I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about these regrets and all these choices on Earth and stuff, huh? And how much tougher it must be to be human than to be a person inside a pet. Cinda said, yeah. I said, this kinda reminds us of the lives we lived, like that fresh humanity, huh? Cinda said, yeah. I said, imagine if you were somebody and…I said, 'cause you think about that stuff, right? Cinda said, all the time. I said, what if someone took that away from you, though? Cinda said, what do you mean? I said, come on, Cinda. That was your Earth time, right? I feel it, 'cause I treasured my Earth time so much, I want it back. But I wouldn’t give it up. It’s a treasure I wouldn’t give away to anybody, and I definitely wouldn’t want anybody to take it.
Cinda said, you mean like someone with a bunch of…a device to kinda trade places and then trade places and then trade places, and then go back to Earth? I said, yeah, it’s not like right or wrong, but it…well, in the sense of the red check marks and the green Xs or whatever…I said, but it’s not…said, you don’t want to do it. I said, maybe there’s…I don't know. I don't know…that I think…I think this program you’re in shouldn’t be going on. It’s too…it’s taking its toll on you, and you should get some R and R. The thing is that I know that I get to record after this, Cinda, and that that gets listened to. What it makes me think is that…what you said about the angels or whatever and the other post-Earthly helpers and this training program, it’s not easy being human, and this program was to help humans, but what about post-human humans, you know?
Maybe they’re the ones that need the pets and maybe…and I decided that this is my pitch to whoever’s training people are listening. ‘Cause Cinda said, okay, you’re right. I still don’t know, because I just…Cinda said, okay. The next thing I knew, I was in the sheep. I was licking Cinda. Starlight was kind of like, I don't understand any of this. But Starlight left, and I’m sure that Starlight went back. Cinda and I had some emotional exchanges, 'cause we had very intense feelings about all this. But Cinda petted my fur or my wool, and that’s my pitch to whoever’s listening, is that what if we help the people in post…? Can’t we use pets to help post-Earthly people? Maybe we could…and maybe that’ll help us help people later on.
But it just seems misguided. Some people might say, well, don’t you think an eternal existence with all your needs met is good enough? I say, well, good enough maybe isn’t great, and pets could make it great, pets helping. I don't know, that’s just my idea for the next program, is that pets could help post-Earthly humans, but I don't know. That’s just what I think, and that’s what I’ve learned, is it’s not easy being a person wherever you are, but that as Emma Otter said, it’ll all be well. We’re just doing our best, and it’s gonna be okay, and sometimes you gotta let it out like Cinda did. I appreciate it and I’m so grateful for the adventures I had. I don't know, will I get a new assignment one day? I don't know what I’ll wake up to tomorrow.
Maybe I could have a vacation, and maybe Cinda’s on a vacation with R and R somewhere. But I’ll tell you what; if you’re gonna wake me up with red Xs and green check marks or whatever, just keep me in a sheep or something, okay? I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Goodnight. To everybody that listening, I hope this helps with your training and your program hopefully helping people that were people be people, you know? Making great pets. Goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)
- Pet Service Advocation (PSA)
- Denim-Like Material (DLM)
- Mission Impossible 12: Mr. Greenjeans
- Whitney Houston
Notable Talking Points:
- Green Jean Esteem
- A Shared Fondness for Humanity
- A Pitch for a new Post-Earthly Program