Episode 1318 – Pobody's Nerfect | Tales Never Told

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s coming at you slow…slowly. Not so slowly, but I said ‘so slowly’. I was trying to say ‘slowly’. I’m coming to bring you…to take your mind off of stuff. If you’re new, welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast…a podcast who’s kinda here to be your friend. I’m here to serve you, really. And what am I serving up? Pointless meanders, superfluous…pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. Oh, but what I’m really serving up is a mild distraction, a friend in the deep, dark night to keep you company. I don't know if you’ve ever felt like that at night.

 

Maybe you listen to other stuff to help you fall asleep, something you barely pay attention to. What if it was a friendly voice, a friend who’s just gonna talk to you…? Well, first I’ll talk to you about the podcast, and eventually I’ll tell you a bedtime story. It’s really a different thing. But if you’ve ever listened to other podcasts, you’ve streamed videos or streamed shows 'cause you wanted something there…I mean, I do it during the day, too. I don't know what it is, something to break the tension, I think, and to comfort me in a way I can't quite explain. If you’ve ever been looking for something that you can't quite explain that’s produced by someone who can't quite explain anything, you may be in the right place.

 

I don't know, I can't explain it. Hardy, har, har. By the way, this podcast is barely humorous. It’s humor-like. So, I don't know, that’s just what most people said; I had no idea I was looking for this my whole life. So, if you’re having trouble falling asleep or you need a little assistance or waking up, I’m glad you’re here and I hope this show can help you. It is very different 'cause it’s for you, if you’re looking for it, right? You say, holy cow, this is really a thing? I had no idea. So, I really am glad you’re here to see if this can help you out, 'cause I’m here to serve, serving it up slowly and meanderingly, your friend, or your…you know, like a friend. I’m no…it’s been said before; I’m no Buzz, I’m no Woody, but I’m glad you’re here.

 

So, what we got coming up…support, then a long, meandering intro that’ll help get you familiar with the podcast, but it’s kinda friendly banter that helps ease you into bedtime as you’re getting ready for bed or getting more comfortable, and then a bedtime story. So, I’m really glad you’re here, and I’m able to be here because of regular listeners. If you’re new or you’re not in a position to support the show, I get to be here for everybody because of the listeners who support the show directly or who support our sponsors or refer people…let people know about the podcast or just share their kindness, even if you’re sharing it silently right now with all the new listeners. That really does help the show, keep it going. So, thanks so much, and here’s a couple of specific ways we’re able to do it for you.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.

 

It could be thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, feelings that are related to the thoughts or feelings that are just there or feelings about something coming up, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be anticipating, going through something, maybe you work a different schedule, maybe you’re traveling or have guests, whatever it is. The only reason I list that stuff is so you know that hopefully…you say, this person may be able to relate to how I feel, at least, that you know you’re no longer alone. I always…I used to hold back. In this past year or two, I’ve been really leaning into it because I want to meet you where you are.

 

This is a podcast where we can be alone together. But you say, oh boy, I don't need to be in a room full of…I don't need to…and I said, don't worry, we’re together…we’re alone together, but we can be alone with plenty of space or whatever. So, I get it. Holy cow, do I. Say, oh yeah, I’d love to be socially…socially lonely. I don't know, that…if I was a musician…say, did you catch Scoots’ new album? Oh yeah, Socially Lonely? He’s playing live at The Lonely Social. Well, where’s that? He has not disclosed the location. Supposedly it’s…I don't know, that’s a great question. I wasn’t gonna…I was gonna pretend I was gonna go, but…I was gonna say I was going but not go, but now I realize I have no…I don't even know if it’s actually…it’s…is that like the restaurant at the end of the universe?

 

No, I think that was actually a place. That was like a dinner show. This one…it’s probably Scoots just having dinner, 'cause he already forgot. What was he saying, The Lonely Social Club? Socially Lonely; that was his…yeah. But not…but he meant it in a good way, and also, he got confused 'cause he was trying to introduce the idea to new people and regular listeners that they’re in the right spot, that he hopes he can keep you company but also let you know that there’s other people out there that can relate to how you feel, even if they’re not going through the same thing you’re going through, but that they…I don't know what the right word is. They relate. It’s not ‘sympathize’, but they see you. They get it, because they’ve been in similar places. You may say, no, you don’t get it, Scoots.

 

You haven't been through anything like this. I’m not trying to take that away. I realize you may be in the mix of it or whatever is a way to say that, but there is someone out there…there’s enough people listening right now at this moment that there is someone that can connect to exactly how you feel, and they fully see you, even though this is digital or whatever, because they’ve been there and they do get it and they do validate how you feel. They say, yeah, it’s…oof, yeah. It takes their breath away. They are so glad you’re here because they were here at some point looking for that same kind of relief. It’s more…and this podcast, like I said…the other stuff, it’s like a unspoken thing. We just nod at one another gently.

 

Sometimes if you stick around long enough, you’ll learn that we kiss our shoulders or we dip our elbows in milk. Those are things we do proverbially. Sometimes I kiss my shoulders. I always get Disneyland and Disney World mixed up, but…I haven't done it in a while, but I like to go to that…I think it’s Disney World where you can look out the window at Small World, and that’s where I try to kiss my biceps and I try to get people to do it. Rare…it doesn't happen too often, but…yeah. I have no idea…what does any of this have to do with a sleep podcast? I just want you to know you’re in the right place. If this ends up being the right place for you, you’re in the right place, and I’m glad you’re here because I know how it feels. Last night was a rough one, and…not exactly sure what happened, either.

 

Everything went to plan except for the sleeping part. Even the falling asleep briefly for just seconds twice happened, and then I said, what’s up? Now, I’ve learned…I’ve been doing this long enough that I’ve gotten a pretty soft hand at it. I say, okay, well, we’ll just lie here for a little bit. I see you, parts of me that want to keep me up. I mean, sometimes I’ll change environments or move around or get up or read a book or whatever, but last night I was like, let’s just try lying here again. ‘Cause I fell asleep twice, but then…just for seconds, and woke back up, wide awake. The first time, it may have been…I thought Koa was moving around, but it wasn’t her. Then the second time I think was just a remnant from the first time. Then I said, nah, I don't feel…some part of me was like, nah, I don't feel like sleeping anymore.

 

We got enough sleep. I said, we got about seventy-eight seconds of sleep, I think. Okay, let’s just stay up for a while. What do you want to do? Think, maybe feel, maybe have some physical sensations, ponder. No, I’d like to go to sleep. I mean, I thought I did everything according to plan. Oh, I guess you did, but…huh, that’s funny. But I said, okay, I’ll just…I said, that’s fine. You do what you want. You do you, bae. Is that a saying people say? That was like, four or five years ago, huh? I said, I’m just gonna lie here. I’ll just lie here. You do whatever you want. You go ahead and think or do it. I’m just gonna lie here and chill. I used to call it #laying. I used to do that in the mornings, but…I was trying it last night. I said, let’s just lie here and get comfortable. Then my body was like, nah, not comfortable.

 

Well, let’s try this…nope, not gonna work. I said, don't worry, I’ll just keep trying positions. So, what does that have to do with a sleep podcast and you? Well, I’m glad you’re here and I really hope the show can help you out, and you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable and so tomorrow you can be out there living your life, and maybe if you get the sleep you need on a regular basis — not all the time like me; you know, I get it on a fairly regular basis — that you could be out there flourishing, and that means our world’s a better place to be in. That’s important to me. But this show is very different, as I said earlier. It does take some getting used to. Most regular listeners, when they got here, they said, what is this…what is going on?

 

I thought this was a sleep podcast. I thought this was one of the first sleep podcasts ever made or whatever for grown-ups, and this guy’s not even sleepy. He’s just talking. That’s understandable. I’m not making that…that’s a regular voice of people that support the podcast now, because that’s a normal way to get to the show. Why wouldn't you be skeptical or doubtful or put off? You probably had some reasonable expectation of what would put you to sleep, of what a sleep podcast would be; somebody recommended this or you found it. That’s normal. Why wouldn't you be a little bit irritated or doubtful? So, give it a few tries. That’s all I can say, 'cause once you realize…oh, yeah, my expectations…this isn't what I expected, but it works because he’s not talking down to me. He’s not even trying to put me to sleep.

 

He’s just here to talk and keep me company. I’m really filling the role of a distant friend, or a friend…I guess a friend at a distance. I’m close but I’m at a distance, and a friend who would quote Bette Midler in a second if he could, and say…yeah, From a Distance, but he won't sing it even though he’s tempted to. But he does bring bedtime harmony, ideally. You see what he did there. So, yeah, if you’re new or skeptical or doubtful, just give the show a few tries. That’s what people…literally, I got…I get e-mails almost every other day; oh, I could not tell you how much I disliked you two years ago, but then I came back to the show. That’s why I support the show at twenty bucks a month, or that’s why I’ve been listening and I tell everybody I know about it. So, just see how it goes.

 

If you find out or you already know you don’t like the podcast, we have a website for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and that has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. Other things that take some getting used to…yeah, like I’ve kind of being saying, this is a podcast you kinda just barely listen to, just like streaming other stuff, like daytime stuff, that you’re not paying attention to or listening to a TV on down the hall or whatever it is. This is a podcast you just can kinda pay attention to. I’m barely humorous. I’m like a friend who’s talking for your benefit, but I say, don't worry about listening to me. You could pretend to listen to me.

 

But yeah, I’m the kind of person that goes to a theme park to go to a theme park restaurant to sit in a window and pretend…try to kiss my biceps, which are not exactly humongous, and try to get people to do that in a participatory way for fun. Most people won't…most people…even if they look at me, they just nod, just when you first listen to this podcast, actually. The look on the people in the…what’s it called? The Small World boat ride…when I’m up there in this window kissing my biceps…is the same look a lot of people have when they first listen to the podcast. They say, is that grown man kissing his biceps? Are those even…? Those are more like uniceps. He’s got the unicycle of biceps, or bicep.

 

But anyway, so, what was I saying? Just give the show a few tries…oh, you barely listen to it. Also, I’m not here to put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m here to keep you company and distract you so you could fall asleep, and that is a big difference, and it’s something I learned by doing the show and how I fell asleep to other stuff and how I still see people fall asleep to stuff. I’m here to be a friendly voice in the deep, dark night, 'cause there’s people who are listening who can't sleep or who need a break during the day. I’m here to keep them company just like I’m here to keep you company.

 

I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your Borbie, your bore-bor, your bores, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just keep you company, be here for you while you fall asleep, so then you wake up and you say, I have no idea what he was talking about, but then I looked up videos of Disney World, Small World window, and I kinda barely…I don't know, I still under…barely understood what he was talking about. What else do you need to know? This show is structured in a very specific way, but there are ways to kinda use it…once you become a regular listener, you might find you have a different preference.

 

So, I just explain the structure of the show so, again, I can meet you where you are, where your questions might be, and say, this is why we do it this way, and then you could…this is how you could adjust. So, the show starts off with a greeting, friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. All the stuff we put out usually has that greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in whether you’re new or you’re coming back for…I mean, there’s probably people that have listened…that listen eight hours a night that have been doing that for ten years. So, that’s thousands and thousands of times. But you feel seen…you say, okay, this is my goofy bedtime friend here to keep me company, serving up the meanders. Oh boy, is he barely.

 

It’s like somebody…it’s like, I didn’t know you could deliver day-old flapjacks by hand, but that seems to be what he’s doing. Yeah. So, what was my point? I have no…oh, that’s just the beginning of the show. Then there’s support in this version of the podcast, the ad-supported version, so that you could listen for free if you want to. A lot of people benefit from that, and if you prefer something without ads, you can get that on Sleep With Me+, or you could do the referral program, refer people to the show, the free show, and get rewarded with that. Then after the support, totally separate from the support, is our intro, which we’re almost done with, but it’s a show within a show where I introduce what the podcast is, but it takes me twenty minutes.

 

There is a reason for that, which is I’m not good at explaining what the podcast is and I go off topic, and…I tried to stay on topic even when Bette Midler came up. Usually it’ll be like the Wind Beneath My Wings; I’ll get carried away, you know? But…I was singing The Rose the other day, but now I can't remember, unless that was…one of those songs was The Rose. But what was my point? Oh, the intro goes…oh, so, the intro, why is it so…why does a sleep podcast have a new intro every time that follows a familiar structure but is different? ‘Cause my theory is whatever’s keeping you awake, if you’ve tried other stuff in the past, can adjust. That’s why so many people use sitcoms or other stuff, but that can still wake you up because it has variety, and whatever keeps us awake is very adaptable.

 

So, at least for me…like I said, last night I did everything and it still adapted and said, nah, not tonight. So, having some variety helps with that. But the intro also goes on and on and on to ease you into bedtime, to have a buffer. So, you could go straight to the bedtime story or use Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me or our story-only podcasts on Sleep With Me+, but for a lot of people, they like this moment we get to spend together as friends while you’re getting ready for bed, you’re winding down, you’re in bed getting comfortable, or you’re chilling out doing some other chill activity. So, that’s what the intro does.

 

Then there’s support, then it’ll be our bedtime story. That’ll be about forty-five or fifty minutes. That’s it. I’m really glad you’re here. I really appreciate you coming by and checking the show out. I work really hard. So do a team of people, and we yearn and we strive. We really want to help you fall asleep. So, one more time, thank you again for coming by this show. I’m touched you’re here, and I really hope we can help you out…I can help you out make bedtime and tonight a little bit less of a rigmarole. So, thanks, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here, and I’m gonna tell you, this is tales never told, one of the tales that’s never been…never told before that I heard about, and…not kidding, but I just picked up this record, and this is not a joke, but this is a Carole King episode, and it’s a tale…'cause sometimes Carole likes to send me on missions. Carole King, the songstress, and we’ve done episodes where Carole King’s guided my actions before, and tonight she’s guiding my storytelling. This is the tale of Pobody's Nerfect, the famous tale of Pobody's Nerfect. It was one year…I think it was in the summer, and Pobody was sitting there. Po, we’ll call them for short. Not Poe Dameron, though, 'cause I have a latent jealousy of Poe Dameron.

 

But this was Po, or Pobody's Nerfect. Pobody's Nerfect was living in their ordinary world, a world that to them was…had been so ordinary for so long that they didn’t even remember how it got to be…like, they had gotten into such a routine with their life and so used to so many things that they…I don't know, they were just like, sitting around looking out the window, mostly. It was raining. It had been raining for a long time, and they asked the authority figure in their home…they said, how long…? They said, it might as well rain until September. They said, it was gonna rail ‘til September? They said, it might as well.

 

This was the first time Po was aware of feeling things in words — I don't know if they’re metaphorical phrases — to have truth, but that someone could say something and it could have more than one meaning, a meaning which went well beyond words and summed up their internal state, in a way. ‘Cause they said, it might as well rain ‘til September? They thought, holy cow, that about…those words…I feel seen. I don't know if that’s…the authority figure in my life was meant to make me feel seen, but I do feel seen, and I feel seen in a way that I can't quite put into words, because that’s what it feels like…my insides feel like, a phrase like that. Or, that phrase feels like what feels like on the inside of me. They thought to themselves, I gotta do something, right?

 

It might as well…because they knew…the other thing is they started really mapping stuff out. This was a opportunity; it was raining. The rest of their…their adventure…they were on…they were already…to reuse a vocabulary word, they were latently already on an adventure. Before the adventure, it lay latent within them, because they said it was only a matter of time…and, first, that they could become this authority figure like the one in their life, who didn’t necessarily have what they wanted, but they were in charge. They also were hurting inside, not just only hurting inside, but they were hurting inside. Then Po said, herding inside, like herding inside…and I need…maybe I need to herd some of these feelings I have.

 

It’s strange how these things work, because Po became aware that they knew that there was a shepherd in the area or a herder of sheep or a sheep-herder, shepherd, and that they would come by where Po lived every once in a while to get supplies. That was…Po lived kind of at a…for lack of a better word, a waystation on the great herding plains of wherever Po lived, out in the rainy…on the rainy side of the world. Po realized that not only was the shepherd coming, but the shepherd actually wasn’t coming. The shepherd was more of a legend. The shepherd was in charge. But there was other kids or youth or young adults Po’s age that worked for the shepherd, and they were gonna come by and they were gonna pick up the supplies and whatever, and it was right on that calendar day that they happened to be coming by.

 

Po was like, oh, this…that’s a change in my routine. I mean, it’s a routine change in my routine. But the other young adults came, and Po was talking to them. There was something about them. They were out there in the world, and they would talk about shepherding and how…sometimes they would complain every day was the same, and then sometimes they would talk about adventures they had. But for Po, these kids, it was like they were…there was something special about them because they were different than Po. They were living a different life out there on the plains, in the hills, in the rocky promontories, gullies. So, when they…it was almost like worshiping an idol or a series of idols.

 

They were kinda like…you wouldn't think assistants to a shepherd would be rock stars or like a local touring band, but to Po, they were. Po said to Po’s self, yeah, see if they need any help. It’s raining, it’s been raining, and actually, when the knock came at the door — the bell rang at the door as well — there was only one youth there, Paulina. Po said, where’s everybody else? Paulina said, it’s been raining for…it might…they say it may rain ‘til October, even. So, I came alone. We’re shorthanded, and it’s too bad, because we’re gonna go…we’re going to the lands of the warmer rain. But the other kids got…the other youth, the other herders of sheep that aren't official shepherds, are going there. Also, Po heard some baa, baa, baaing, and was like, interesting. There’s baa, baa, baaing going on.

 

Po said, you have sheep with you? She said, yeah, I do. There’s seven little sheep sitting in your backyard, there. I’m gonna go get the supplies. We don’t use…you only put…you can put a little bit of weight…I’m gonna put a little bit of weight on each sheep. These are kinda like sheep I use as…not mules, but…they’re not beasts-of-burden sheep, but we’ve shorn them, so I can put as much on their backs…see, I’ve shorn them in a way…kinda like a saddle shorn, and…also to keep them warm. So, I have…yeah, it’s similar…it’s similar to a saddle or saddle bags. I call it a sheep saddle. Po said, did you think of this yourself, Paulina? Paulina said, well, yeah, because I’m going for…I’m gonna go to the shepherd…I’m gonna try to get into the shepherd’s…like, I’m gonna try to become a shepherd.

 

I’m tired of being a sheep-herder. I like my own flock, and so, this is where I started, with these seven. These seven sheep are mine. So, I said, okay…so, these sheep are mine, I said to the shepherd. Po said, so, you said to the shepherd, these sheep are mine. She said, yeah, that’s what I said to the shepherd, just like a song, even though that’s not a song, but these sheep are mine. Now, the thing…this is how it works, is their wool wasn’t mine, you know, and…but that’s how they become mine, once enough wool…anyway, I can't get into all the specifics of a shepherd, 'cause I gotta get back soon, but…yeah. So, I said, well, can I shear some of these sheep? The shepherd said, well, why would you shear the sheep now? It’s not shearing season. I said, but if they’re my sheep and I give you its shorn, can I shear these sheep?

 

The shepherd said, sure. Surely you can shear these sheep, if you give me what’s shorn, for the sheep are yours while the wool is mine. But soon, one day the wool will be…you know, the future wool — not on this shearing but three shearings from now — will be all yours. The shepherd said, what are you gonna do? She said, well, we’re shorthanded. The shepherd said, I know. That’s why you’ve kinda got the shepherd fast-track. You’re really taking on a lot of responsibility. Paulina said, yeah, I know I have. I’m kinda proud of myself. But I was thinking that these sheep, if they’re shorn, will…they’re used to having the weight of that wool, and in this case, the weight of wet wool, on their backs. The shepherd said, you want some free advice? Sheep are not beasts of burden. I know what you’re thinking.

 

She goes, well, I’m not thinking of beasts…what’s lighter than a burden? She goes, they could be…she goes, I think it’ll even out. He goes, okay, well, I mean, you could do…they’re your sheep, yeah, so, you could do whatever you wish, and that’s fine, but…so, sure. What are you gonna try? She goes, well, I’m gonna shear a saddle-like shape. He said, man, this is…I feel like we should be selling seashells by the sea shore. She said, I didn’t understand what you said. He said, never mind; I was just using a tongue twister, but then my tongue was twisted. She said, tangentially twisted? He said, well, it feels like it sometimes when we’re walking with these sheep on tangents. He said, tell me more about this project.

 

She said, okay, well, I’m gonna make a saddle-like shape when they’re shorn, and then I’m gonna put…I’ve been making these things. I’ve been interested in the shapes of the sheep and saddles, and I know we gotta go get supplies. So, yeah, that I am…I’m gonna put these on there. You see? I’ll show you. She goes, eventually I did show him, you know. Then she goes, they’re right out here. So, we could fill these packs, sheep packs. He goes, you don’t want to call them sheep saddles, Po said? She goes, well, they’re saddled sheep. I guess you could say they’re saddles, but then people might think they can ride the sheep, and you can't ride a sheep. Po said, I’d like to join you. She goes, me? In the sheep-saddle business? I’m gonna be a shepherd. This is kinda my side gig.

 

Maybe it’d just make my job easier, then I don't have to carry anything in my pockets. He said, well, what if the sheep goes away and you can't find it? She said, like Little Bo Peep? He said, exactly. Po said, exactly. If you lose your keys or something…she goes, well, I’m a shepherd; I don't have…well, if you lose your…what if you have a favorite pillow? She said, good point. I don't have a favorite pillow because…but…and then Po said, do you sleep on the sheep? She goes, sometimes, sometimes. But yeah, I kinda can make your own pillow. It’s a wool-filled pillow. But, no, I don't have…the short version of this shearing conversation is that I don't even know what we’re talking about. You’re gonna…you want to join the shepherd? Po said, yeah, I think I’d like to. She said, well, why?

 

Po said, well, I’ve just…I don't know, I’ve been living here and my life’s become routine, and I have a vision of one day being dedicated to the one I love. She said, you’re in love? Po said, no, no, no, but I’m imagining one day I’ll be in love and I’ll be dedicated to the one I love, and that’ll solve all this…is the state of being in a mundane situation ‘mundacity’? She said, I have no idea. But so, she said, one day you hope to fall in love and be dedicated to the person you fell in love with. Po said, yeah, that’s my plan. She goes, interesting. So, that’s a plan. Po said, no…but then Po said, would it be easier if we walked…if I just join you now? She said, yeah. Now, this…we’ll skip that part of the story where Po packs their stuff, tells their mama and papa ‘I’m heading off’, and the authority figure, if there was three.

 

Then they said, oh, we can't believe you’re leaving home and going into the big, big world. What are you gonna do? Po said, well, I’m gonna work for the shepherd for now. Then they said, well, we’ve been telling you that for years. Now you said…? Well, I decided I wanted to. They said, okay, well, you leaving home is just one of those life changes that’s surprising and brings…'cause we love you, Po, but…we love you so. So, good luck, and good luck on your…keep in touch. Send us a letter or whatever, but remember the Funny Man. Po said, okay. Then Paulina said…when they…when Po left the house, she goes, what’s the Funny Man? Po said, oh, well, it’s a story, like one of those moral-of-the-story stories we’ve been told for years.

 

Don’t become the Funny Man, beware the Funny Man, watch out for the Funny Man. She said, well, can you tell me what the Funny Man is? Po goes, I can. By the way, these sheep saddles or saddled sheep seem to be working just great. She said, thank you. They walked and he said, how long…it takes to get to the shepherd? She goes, I don't know. We’re gonna head down…I’m gonna head back. But they tend to move, but…there’s a lot of sheep, so…and they leave a lot of tracks in the mud, particularly. The mud doesn't wash their tracks away? She said, eventually it would, but not at this time. I’m pretty confident we’ll find them because I know where they’re going. They’re headed towards…through the plains to the big, big city.

 

When they get…that’s where the Shepherd’s Council is, and I’ll meet with the Shepherd’s Council. She said, well, this legend of the Funny Man sounds really epic. Po goes, oh no, it’s not epic at all. She goes, is it full of life lessons? Po goes, no, it’s not full of life lessons. Is it full of…will I be able to close my eyes and fall deep asleep tonight? Po said, this story may even help you. She goes, well, can you tell me the story? Po goes, yes, of course, I’ll tell it to you now as we walk towards the general direction of the big, big city. She said, great. Po said, okay, so, here’s the story…the legend of the Funny Man. She goes, it’s a legend? He goes, where I…in my home, it was. She goes, wow. I haven't heard this one before. Po goes, well, did you grow up in this general region? She goes, no, actually, I didn’t.

 

I’m from over the river and through the woods and on the other side and then a little ways away in the town near the creek on the other side of the big, big city. Po said, interesting. Well, maybe there’s another version of the story. She goes, I don't know, because you haven't told me the story yet. Po goes, it’s interesting 'cause it has to do with the big, big city, and, as a matter of fact, these rainy, rainy seasons. She goes, okay, well, tell it to me. Po goes, okay, so, I have to explain some things as a part of the story. She goes, okay. It seems like you’re doing that. He goes, I’m gonna start the story now. She goes, okay, great. He goes…but I guess if you consider this part of the story…so, in the big, big city and maybe even the town on the other side of the big, big city, they have things called newspapers, right?

 

She said, yeah, I’m familiar with newspapers. Po goes, well, we don’t have newspapers, right? We live long and far away. She goes, okay. She goes, but you could get the newspapers, right? Po goes, we could, but it’s a ways away, and with the rain, for someone to keep a newspaper dry, they would…if it was a trade or we paid in coin, it would be quite expensive. That would be just for one thing of the news. She goes, okay, I can see that. She said, so, how do you keep up on the news? Po said, well, we don’t really worry about it. Yeah, when people come, we’ll catch up, and you can generally infer the nature of the news by your countenance. She goes, whoa, those are some big words, Po. Po said, yeah, it’s…that’s why we…this is one of the more secretive messages in Beware of the Funny Man.

 

She goes, what is that? He goes, watch for the news on their faces and in their body language, then listen with your ears, 'cause we get all our news by word of mouth. She said, interesting. That’s a powerful thing. She goes, so, was the Funny Man a spreader of news? Po goes, no. So, there were other people that would talk about the news…information, I’m talking about. She goes, I know. Some people would even charge for it, right, and that’s where the Funny Man comes in. She goes, okay, is this like where you’d go to a show, like a funny theatre or a comedy? Po goes, maybe the most…a version of that that would make you turn your…not a good version of that, but also where…most of the time when people are performing in those…I’ve been to theatre and stuff, too…that you would…you think those people are enjoying it, right, or they’re doing it as work.

 

The Funny Man, you kinda…when they leave, you say, I really feel for the Funny Man. You never want to become the Funny Man. She goes, okay. She goes, okay, can you tell me…? Okay, so, we’ve established there’s newspapers, which are papers which news is printed on. The biggest source of newspapers is the big, big city, but that’s pretty far away. So, even getting a newspaper from there to here would involve days of travel, which would have a cost, because you always gotta balance the weight with…yeah, the means of distribution. But on top of that, it’s raining incessantly, and over the years it’s rained more and more and more. Newspapers can't get wet, really, so keeping them dry…right, Po said. Would you rather have something enjoyable or some sustenance that’s dry or the newspaper that’s dry?

 

She said, yeah, especially when you could already infer…you could get…already get a general sense of the news. So, unless there was a reason you needed the news…well, how does this have to do with the Funny Man? Po said, okay, so, within the news is a section called the Funnies. That’s one…or comic strips. She said, oh yeah, I know the Funnies, the Funny Pages, the Funny Papers. They call it those things. Does the Funny Man make those? Po goes, no. But yeah, those are the Funnies. Believe it or not, one day, people won't even know what that is. She said, how do you know that? Po said, I don't know, I just know it in my heart. She said, well, my aunt…that’s her favorite thing in the world, my Aunt Judy. So, it’ll be Judy’s turn to cry when that happens.

 

Po said, she’ll probably say, just let me cry for my loss of my Funny Pages. She said, okay, can you tell me…? This is quite the story, Po. Po said, it’s a good walking story. She said, okay, so, we have a newspaper. We have Funny Pages. We have the…we’ve agreed that the newspapers cannot be transported long distances under our current means of distribution, particularly in rainy weather. Po said, correct. She said, okay. Po said, now, my understanding…because I did get to go away to school for some time…so, I did…I’ve been in the big, big city. Is that…? The Funny Pages are every day. Then on the seventh day, they’re…there’s an extravaganza of the Funny Pages. She said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Po said, I don't know, your Aunt Judy, does she have a favorite Funny Page, Funny…?

 

Paulina said, well, Born to Lose was one of their favorites. Po said, okay, interesting. What was one of the other favorites? She goes, oh, I Can't Stop Loving You. Po said, whoa, whoa, whoa, we’re just walking. She said, yeah, that’s hilarious, Po. So, Born to Lose and I Can't Stop Loving You. Po said, could you tell me more about those comics? She goes, well, I kinda want to hear about the Funny Man. Po said, well, this will help me tell the story, really. She goes, okay, well, I Can't Stop Loving You was…she goes, I don't know, I don't like it. My Aunt Judy did, but it showed a couple, and they were somehow…she goes, I don't know…you just have to…with these Funny Pages, you have to take a lot on what they establish. Po said, okay. She said, they have…they lived forever, so they were they were married forever.

 

Po said, was it Adam and Eve? She said, wait a second, maybe it was Adam and…she goes, yeah, maybe. I don't know. That’s a great question, Po. I didn’t really pay attention to it too much, but that’s interesting. But that was part of the joke or the title, was I Can't Stop Loving You, because it was like they were in a relationship for…they’re in a relationship for eternity. Okay. She goes, that’s one of the reasons I don't like it, 'cause it’s like…and Po goes, it’s a silly concept, but fraught. She goes, exactly. Po said, can you tell me one of the subject matters? Was it like…? She said, okay, the one I remember is…she goes, oh, sometimes they were also for products. Po goes, okay, that makes sense. She goes, this one was like…the first panel was like, is there lipstick on your collar?

 

Then she goes, I don't even remember anything else. But then they said, I don't even have a collar. Then it was like, well, who’s shirt is this? But there was other panels. Po kinda laughed; ha, ha, that’s kinda…it’s almost funny, almost like it’s barely humorous. She goes, barely humoresque? Where have I heard those terms before? Po goes, I don't know, but…okay, I get that. So, basically, they’re in a permanent…eternal relationship, and the setup is that there’s lipstick on the…one of them finds the other one’s shirt and there’s lipstick on the collar. That creates a situation for one or two panels. Then the thing is like, oh, I don't wear collared shirts. I guess that would make sense with Adam and Eve, 'cause they would be not in clothes or in flowy robes, maybe?

 

Do you remember what they would usually wear? She goes, I don't know. I wasn’t paying attention. What was the name of the other one? She goes, Born to Lose. Po goes, okay, this sounds pretty easy to figure out. She goes, yeah, it’s a comic about someone…she goes, I guess these were high-concept comics, and this one is different. Every week it’s one place, and they appear there in a world, in a competition or some other situation, and they’re definitely gonna lose. Po goes, what do you mean? She goes, okay, there was one where it was…she goes, it was like a historical one. Po goes, okay. It wasn’t…it was…remember that fictional history we learned about — if you went to the same school I did — but it turned out that was another…from another universe or something?

 

Po goes, what do you mean? She goes, like that…the Les Miserables, Les Mis. Po goes, oh yeah, yeah. She goes, you know there was…at some point there was the person, Napoleon. Po goes, okay. Was…the person born to lose was Napoleon? She goes, kind of, but they didn’t do it…they did it as the world’s…Napoleon’s smartest advisor, so that way they could have them play off of Napoleon. Po goes, so this was like a strip over seven days. She goes, yeah, exact…sometimes it would be shorter. Like, it would resolve in one strip, or over the week there’d be two Born to Lose setups. Po goes, okay. She goes, so, okay, you understand…so, basically, the main character in Born to Lose, Frankie, was the brilliant advise…or, no, Frankie’s the character. So, Frankie becomes the brilliant advisor to Napoleon.

 

So, I think on the first day, they set that up. Like, you’re the more knowledgeable tactician and I’m…so, they were both like, okay, we can't lose. So…okay, okay, so then what happened? She was like, I don't really remember, except that then it was like Waterloo at the end. So, it was like a historical reimagining of a fictional thing that became a part…? She said, I guess so. Whatever, he missed out one thing; like, whoops, forgot to tell everybody to show up…I told everybody to show up at half-twelve, but they’re all here at half-ten, so, it’s already over. Po said, okay, so that’s Born to Lose. She goes, yeah. I guess it’s not exactly…sometimes they would be set in…over the years, sometimes they’d be set in their own world or in other comic strips’ world. Po said, that’d be interesting if it was…the two were together.

 

She goes, yeah, that would write itself. It’d be like, either character could just look at the other person…so, it’d be only like, one strip. She said, yeah. She goes, do you mind if I say…? I think my heart knows…is starting to know what you mean about this Funny Man, but I want to hear the rest of the story, 'cause we’re…eventually we’re gonna have to rest before we head to the shepherd. We won't get there tonight. But for sentimental reasons, I really want to know how this turned out and…so we don’t fall asleep…like, what if we…what should we do if we encounter the Funny Man? Or, is there a Funny Woman? Po said, you could become the Funny Woman. This is so…we’re kind of…we’re explaining what it was by accident by talking about it. She goes, okay, so, what was it?

 

So, basically, the Funny Man was someone that read the news, and they would come door-to-door from the big, big city, and then they would try…they would ask…they would recount the comic. They never came and recounted Born to Lose or, whatever, Together Forever or whatever that other one was. Po’s…Paulina said, well, what ones do you remember them doing? Po said, I remember they did the adventure one, Searching for You, and also another one that’s very similar to these other ideas, Summertime Summertime. She goes, ooh, Summertime Summertime, what’s that? He goes, well, it’s this resort. So, it’s…I guess it was very appealing.

 

It’s too bad because of the Funny Man, but it was a resort in a place where the weather was always summer, and it was called Summertime, the resort, and the weather was always…it was in a very temperate climate. She goes, okay, so it was summer…it felt like summertime there. The resort was called Summertime. Yeah, it was kind of farcical. Anything that could happen at a resort…it was probably better than those other…no offense to your aunt, but it’s…I only heard it through the Funny Man, 'cause I don't think I saw it when I was in school. But yeah, it could be anything, right? It could have been someone that works at the beach, or it could be someone that’s cooking or doing room service or doing check-in, and it could be any kind of guests. So, yeah, it was like it could be about anything.

 

It’s just set at Summertime Summertime. Then, yeah, the setup would be, you know, whatever; there’s…every floatie has leaks. I don't know. She goes, what was the adventure one? Searching for You. So, that one was told…it was supposed to be narrated, and the person is narrating it almost like a letter of their adventure, Searching for You, the person they’re narrating it for. It’s an adventure comic, so then it always went on, where…and it was trying to be at all these locations that you hear about, traveling the world. But then I guess these other ones, there was a futility in it, right? ‘Cause they would get there and then they would be…they would discover that they couldn't…the person wasn’t there, they thought they had all the clues, and they couldn't…whatever.

 

They…oh no, no, now you gotta go all the way to the North Pole. Paulina said, okay, okay. So, now I’m totally lost. What were we even talking about? Po laughed and said, beware the Funny Man and don’t become the Funny Woman or Girl. So, Po said, basically, the Funny Man would come to your…out here where we live…surprised the shepherd’s never encountered them. They would say, Funnies for a pence, Funnies for a pence, but they wouldn't…they would say that, but we’d keep our door closed, right? Then they’d knock on the door, and they were very persistent because…and then they would just…you would end up paying them a pence to leave, basically, because they would tell you the comics and they’d say, which comic would you like to hear about?

 

But they had traveled retelling the comic over and over again, and forgetting things and adding things in, and then telling a real-time comic, kinda similar to what we’ve been doing where it kinda loses all meaning and it’s not supposed to be in stretched time other than in your imagination. It’s a very compact, bite-sized thing. She said, could you give me an example just for my own amusement as I get ready to sleep here? Po said, oh, sure. So, there was one Searching for You called Over the Mountain. She said, Over the Mountain…and it started…this was how the Funny Man would do it. Yeah, the first panel was faded pictures for…it’s a drawing of a faded picture, and they’re…but they’re all piled up on a desk, faded picture after faded picture after faded picture.

 

It doesn't sound very funny, but that’s 'cause…usually the Funnies…these adventure comics are technically Funnies even though they’re not really funny. She said, I get that, I get that. He said, so, there they are, faded pictures piled up. Then the person says it, and then the Funny Man tries…I was looking for…I was looking through faded pictures. They had arrived at my hotel. They arrived at my hotel, the Dimension Hotel, and I was waiting for a meeting with Aldon, who was gonna give me my next tip. But these faded pictures, I looked at them…I looked at each picture. So, that’s the first panel. The second panel is…I can make out that picture. It’s faded, but it looks like the Tower of London. I’m looking at it, and then I bring it around with me and I show it to people, and I say, what do you see?

 

Not one person says, London, the Tower of London. But in my head, I say, this is guaranteed it’s the Tower of London. You say, okay, so that’s panel two. Thanks, Funny Man. But they don’t…usually you just…at this point you probably pay them a pence to go…move on. Then the next picture…if that was the London Tower, what’s this one? It’s the outside of a store, some sort of building. There’s three letters on the building, MGM, maybe. I start to show that picture around, and no one can tell what the letters are. But I start to look and research at the library; London MGM, metropolian, guarantee, museum, the Museum of Great Museums. I find it on a map just blocked from the Tower of London. It’s an address; Museum of Great Museums. It’s gotta be the place. So, I head to London.

 

That’s just in-between the panels. They don’t actually head to London. I head to the address of the museum. First I walk past the Tower of London. I match the picture up to it and I say, this could be the same thing, but it’s faded. I can't tell. A knock at the door…'cause the museum’s just a flat. It’s not a museum at all. Someone answers the door and I say, is this MGM? They say, excuse me, sir. I say, no…I’m not looking for excuses. I’m looking for MGM. They say, well, this is Keen, K-E-E-N. The person…I got mixed up because I told this funny across the area. I pull out the paper; I say, this is supposed to be the Museum of Great Museums. They say, oh, formally. Now it’s the K-E-E-N, the Kingdom of Excellent Entertainment and Nectars. It’s actually kinda like a speakeasy with entertainment inside. I say, I’m looking for someone.

 

They say, well, come right in, please. So, I step in the door of K-E-E-N, expecting to get a clue somehow, and next thing I know, I’m sound asleep in a deep, deep sleep. The Funny Man kinda says…that panel fades…the faded picture fades out, because they fell asleep as soon as they entered the place. They fell asleep under…they were so surprised, they fell asleep. So, that’s why we’ve been told never to be the Funny Man, is you don’t want…I guess in this situation, since Paulina’s asleep, it worked. So, I guess I’ll be on my adventure now, and when I wake, I’ll continue as the shepherd, but I’ll also make sure I don't try to tell people Funnies, but I guess I could as a shepherd now. So, thanks, and goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Trending Tuesday / Tales Never Told

 

It’s a Small World Restaurant / Pinocchio Village Haus

https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/dining/magic-kingdom/pinocchio-village-haus/

https://www.disneytouristblog.com/pinocchio-village-haus-review/

https://touringplans.com/blog/pinocchio-village-haus-we-cant-lie-about-this-one/

 

The Funny Pages

https://www.toonsmag.com/sunday-comics/

https://thenib.com/color-archive/

https://www.chicagotribune.com/2014/12/19/the-magic-of-the-sunday-comics/

 

Soap Opera Comics

https://blog.draperinc.com/2015/11/soaps-and-screens/

https://www.dailycartoonist.com/index.php/2024/05/30/karen-moy-and-20-years-worth-of-mary/

https://www.dailycartoonist.com/index.php/2023/05/10/seventy-five-years-of-rex-morgan-m-d-but-the-rex-of-48-is-not-the-rex-of-23/

 

Shepherd History

https://www.ancient-hebrew.org/manners/shepherd-life-the-care-of-sheep-and-goats.htm

https://www.brusselstimes.com/710757/the-most-ancient-profession-how-shepherding-defies-modern-challenges

https://ruralhistoria.com/2024/06/03/the-history-of-shepherding-through-time/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Coming at you slowly (said slowly)

Serving up pointless meanders and tangents

Things that can’t quite be explained

Humor-Like

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Dave’s Killer Bread; Acorns

 

INTRO

Feelings about Thoughts

This person may be able to how I feel, at least

I want to meet you where you are

Being Alone Together

Socially Lonely

Performing live at the Lonely Social

We kiss our shoulders and dip our elbows in milk. Proverbially

Kissing your shoulders at It’s a Small World

Last night was a rough one

78 Seconds of Sleep

You do you, bae – that’s a timely phrase, yeah?

#laying

A reasonable expectation of what would put you to sleep

Close, but at a distance

Bringing bedtime harmony, like Bette Midler

Talking for your benefit

Going to a theme park restaurant to kiss my not big biceps to get people to join in a participatory way

Can you call those biceps?

Uniceps

The Unicycle of Biceps

Getting carried away by the wind beneath my wings

 

STORY

Tales Never Told

This is a Carole King episode

The Famous Tale of Pobody’s Nerfect

Po, for short

Not Po Dameron

Latent Jealousy of Po Dameron

They live in an utterly ordinary world

It might as well rain until September

It had been raining for a long time

Truth in Metaphor

A meaning well beyond words

Po feels seen

The Authority Figure who is partially hurting inside

Herding Inside

Herding Feelings

A Shepherd in the Area

Po lived at a waystation on the great herding plains of where Po lived

The Shepherd is more of a legend

A Routine Change in My Routine

Talking about shepherding

Po worships these shepherd’s assistants

Only one youth is actually there – Paulina

They’re going to the Lands of the Warmer Rain

Baa Baa Baa-ing

Seven Little Sheep in the Backyard

Sheep Beasts of Burden

Sheep Saddle

Paulina is starting her own flock to become a shepherd

Surely shear these sheep and give what’s shorn

Shorthanded Shepherds

The Weight of Wet Wool

What’s lighter than a burden?

Paulina can do as she wishes with her sheep

Shear a Saddle-Like Shape

A real tongue twister

Paulina’s Story

Filling up the Sheep Packs

The Sheep Saddle Business is a sidegig

Po wants to help

What if the sheep go away?

Sometimes, Paulina sleeps on the sheep

Wool-Filled Pillow (WFP)

Po thinks he wants to join the Shepherd

A vision of one day being dedicated to the one I love

The State of Mundacity

We’ll skip the part where Po says goodbye and heads out

Remember the Funnyman

A real moral of the story kind of story

Watch out for the Funnyman

These sheep saddles are working great

Explaining the Legend of the Funnyman

Walking towards the big, big city

Paulina grew up from over the river and through the woods

Po’s town doesn’t get newspapers

Generally Inferring the Nature of the News by Your Countenance

Watch for news on people’s faces

There are people who tell the news

You feel for the Funnyman

Balancing the Means of Distribution

Within the news is a section called the Funnies

It’ll be Judy’s turn to cry when the funny pages are gone

“Born to Lose” was one of Judy’s favorite funny

“I Can’t Stop Loving You”

Explaining the two panels Aunt Judy loves

A couple that lives forever

Were they Adam and Eve?

Sometimes they were also sponsored by products

Barely Humoresque

High Concept Comics

Every week someone enters a competition that they’ll definitely lose

A brilliant advisor to Napoleon…at Waterloo!

What do we do if we encounter the Funnyman?

It could also be the Funnywoman

The Funnyman would read the news and recount the comic

Summertime, Summer Time

Summertime, a resort where it’s always Summer time

The tales of a summer resort

Searching for You – an adventure comic

Funnies for a Pence

The Funnyman would try to sell their recounting of the funnies

We didn’t want them

Funnies that have lost meaning over time

Can I get an example?

Over The Mountain

Describing the panels, one at a time

Faded picture after faded picture after faded picture

The Tower of London

So that’s Panel One

At this point, you would pay the Funnyman to move on

A building with the letters MGM

MGM – The Museum of Great Museums

Heading to the museum

The museum is a flat, not a museum

This is KEEN, not MGM

Come right in, looking for a clue

I step ahead and now I’m asleep

That’s why you don’t want to be the Funnyman, because you’ll put people to sleep

I guess I’ll continue on and try to be a Shepherd, after napping here

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1318

Title: Pobody’s Nerfect | Tales Never Told

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Dave’s Killer Bread; Acorns

Notable Language:

• Being Alone Together
• Socially Lonely
• #laying
• You do you, bae
• Uniceps
• The Unicycle of Biceps
• Herding Inside
• A Routine Change in My Routine
• Baa Baa Baa-ing
• Sheep Saddle
• Shorthanded Shepherds
• Wool-Filled Pillow (WFP)
• The State of Mundacity
• Barely Humoresque
• High Concept Comics
• Summertime, Summer Time
• MGM – The Museum of Great Museums
• K-E-E-N

 

Notable Culture:

• • Socially Lonely, Scoots’s new album

• The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

• • Walt Disney World
  • Disneyland
  • It’s a Small World
  • Bette Midler
  • Carole King
  • Po Dameron / Star Wars
  • Little Bo Peep
  • Adam and Eve

• Les Miserables

• Napoleon

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Feelings about Thoughts
• This person may be able to how I feel, at least
• I want to meet you where you are
• Being Alone Together
• Socially Lonely
• Performing live at the Lonely Social
• We kiss our shoulders and dip our elbows in milk. Proverbially
• Kissing your shoulders at It’s a Small World
• Last night was a rough one
• 78 Seconds of Sleep
• You do you, bae – that’s a timely phrase, yeah?
• #laying
• A reasonable expectation of what would put you to sleep
• Close, but at a distance
• Bringing bedtime harmony, like Bette Midler
• Talking for your benefit
• Going to a theme park restaurant to kiss my not big biceps to get people to join in a participatory way
• Can you call those biceps?
• Uniceps
• The Unicycle of Biceps
• Getting carried away by the wind beneath my wings
• Tales Never Told
• This is a Carole King episode
• The Famous Tale of Pobody’s Nerfect
• Po, for short
• Not Po Dameron
• Latent Jealousy of Po Dameron
• They live in an utterly ordinary world
• It might as well rain until September
• It had been raining for a long time
• Truth in Metaphor
• A meaning well beyond words
• Po feels seen
• The Authority Figure who is partially hurting inside
• Herding Inside
• Herding Feelings
• A Shepherd in the Area
• Po lived at a waystation on the great herding plains of where Po lived
• The Shepherd is more of a legend
• A Routine Change in My Routine
• Talking about shepherding
• Po worships these shepherd’s assistants
• Only one youth is actually there – Paulina
• They’re going to the Lands of the Warmer Rain
• Baa Baa Baa-ing
• Seven Little Sheep in the Backyard
• Sheep Beasts of Burden
• Sheep Saddle
• Paulina is starting her own flock to become a shepherd
• Surely shear these sheep and give what’s shorn
• Shorthanded Shepherds
• The Weight of Wet Wool
• What’s lighter than a burden?
• Paulina can do as she wishes with her sheep
• Shear a Saddle-Like  Shape
• A real tongue twister
• Paulina’s Story
• Filling up the Sheep Packs
• The Sheep Saddle Business is a sidegig
• Po wants to help
• What if the sheep go away?
• Sometimes, Paulina sleeps on the sheep
• Wool-Filled Pillow (WFP)
• Po thinks he wants to join the Shepherd
• A vision of one day being dedicated to the one I love
• The State of Mundacity
• We’ll skip the part where Po says goodbye and heads out
• Remember the Funnyman
• A real moral of the story kind of story
• Watch out for the Funnyman
• These sheep saddles are working great
• Explaining the Legend of the Funnyman
• Walking towards the big, big city
• Paulina grew up from over the river and through the woods
• Po’s town doesn’t get newspapers
• Generally Inferring the Nature of the News by Your Countenance
• Watch for news on people’s faces
• There are people who tell the news
• You feel for the Funnyman
• Balancing the Means of Distribution
• Within the news is a section called the Funnies
• It’ll be Judy’s turn to cry when the funny pages are gone
• “Born to Lose” was one of Judy’s favorite funny
• “I Can’t Stop Loving You”
• Explaining the two panels Aunt Judy loves
• A couple that lives forever
• Were they Adam and Eve?
• Sometimes they were also sponsored by products
• Barely Humoresque
• High Concept Comics
• Every week someone enters a competition that they’ll definitely lose
• A brilliant advisor to Napoleon…at Waterloo!
• What do we do if we encounter the Funnyman?
• It could also be the Funnywoman
• The Funnyman would read the news and recount the comic
• Summertime, Summer Time
• Summertime, a resort where it’s always Summer time
• The tales of a summer resort
• Searching for You – an adventure comic
• Funnies for a Pence
• The Funnyman would try to sell their recounting of the funnies
• We didn’t want them
• Funnies that have lost meaning over time
• Can I get an example?
• Over The Mountain
• Describing the panels, one at a time
• Faded picture after faded picture after faded picture
• The Tower of London
• So that’s Panel One
• At this point, you would pay the Funnyman to move on
• A building with the letters MGM
• MGM – The Museum of Great Museums
• Heading to the museum
• The museum is a flat, not a museum
• This is KEEN, not MGM
• Come right in, looking for a clue
• I step ahead and now I’m asleep
• That’s why you don’t want to be the Funnyman, because you’ll put people to sleep
• I guess I’ll continue on and try to be a Shepherd, after napping here