Episode 1352 – Pastry Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C8/S11 E5
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…hello, bakers. It’s time for the podcaster who puts the pauses in patissiere, or Pastry Week. He wouldn't know a patissiere from a pastry. I mean, I still don’t. How many seasons of…? ‘Cause I believe they've had two different weeks in the past. I say, what’s…? Wait a second, could…? I thought a patissiere was a place or a person that made pastry. That may be the case. I may be wrong. If you're confused, welcome to Sleep With Me, a very confusing podcast.
I wish I could say all the confusion was on purpose, but some of it is natural in an honest…I say, well, I could…I’m almost positive the last time…last season we covered of Great British Bake Off baking show there was a Patissiere Week and a Pastry Week, but that’s all the information I retained. They did bake stuff; I’m positive about that. So, if you're new, I’m so glad you're here. Welcome to Sleep With Me. Later on in the show we’ll be talking about Great British Bake Off, but this is a podcast that eases you into bedtime and takes your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, which is a bit different. I’m really glad you're here. I really hope if you're struggling in getting to sleep or getting back to sleep or getting the rest you desire, I hope I can help with that.
The way we help is a bit different, so it does take some getting used to because mostly alls I’m gonna be doing is trying to be a mild distraction and a friend in the deep, dark night. So, just see how it goes. It takes a couple episodes to get used to. But this podcast is here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, a friendly voice to not soothe you directly, but indirectly. I try to be soothing but in a distracting way. I don't know, I don't have the vocabulary to explain what I’ve been doing for the past eleven years, but if you're a regular listener, you know, and if you're a new listener, just stick around and see what happens. This is something that’s supposed to be…you're like, yeah, it’s kinda nice and it kinda is something nice to listen to as I wind down and fall asleep. So, I’m glad you're here.
What we got coming up is support so paying for the podcast is optional, then a long, meandering intro to ease you into bedtime and wind you down or help you get comfortable. Then we’ll talk…later on we’ll talk about Great British Bake Off, and ideally you fall asleep at some point during that discussion of the show. So, thank you so much for coming by. I really hope I can help you have some relief and have some ease and comfort in the deep, dark night. So, I’m glad you're here, and we do this together. The people that opt in help me be here and all the other people working on the show when…multiple times a week. If you want to opt in, you could support the show on Sleep With Me+, you could support our sponsors, or you could just spread the word about the podcast or do something nice for somebody.
But when you opt in, that’s how I’m really able…I can't do this alone, right? We do it together, and we're here tonight together in the deep, dark night. I don't ever want to forget that and to say how much I appreciate it, 'cause I couldn't do it without all of you, even those of you already drifting off. I mean, the partners that don’t listen to the show that are already sleeping and snoring…well, you know. We're here so we can be in a better mood for them during the day. So, yeah, I’m glad you're here, and here’s a couple ways if you decide to opt in…these are a couple ways you could do that.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts you're thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, all of the thoughts or most of the thoughts or some of the thoughts or one particular thought. I seem to get a bunch of those. It could be anything emotionally coming up for you or that just appeared or emotions related to the thoughts or something else.
It could be anything you're feeling or physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, maybe you work a different schedule, maybe you're going through something. Well, I’m here to try to help in the only way I can, which is to be here for you as a kind, lulling, goofy presence, to be your distracting friend in the deep, dark night, to make a show, to keep you company and take your mind off of whatever’s keeping you awake, any of those things or something else, so you could drift off, 'cause that’s the only thing in the end that’s ever worked for me, is not…when I don't try to fall asleep. You know what I’m saying? But how do you do that? It’s…it can be frustrating.
But whatever’s keeping you awake…there’s a audience of other people here, and I don't know if I can really capture the feeling, but it’s important to me to let you know you're not alone. I know this is a podcast and it’s…whatever, but I know what it feels like for me in the deep, dark night. I know what it feels like when I can't get the sleep I need, and I know all the layers of stuff I go through. I don't know what you're going through, right, that’s getting in the way of the sleep you need, but I think I can relate to some of the feelings you might be having.
But here’s the best news; even if I can't relate to how you feel…if you're like, no, I don't think you can, there’s enough people listening whose stories I have heard across the world…that there is someone right now in bed who has been through something and can relate, really relate, to whatever it is that’s keeping you up, and right now they have a soft look on their face and they're just welcoming you in. I don't know if you can feel that, but that is…this is true, because they know exactly how you feel or pretty close, and they say, wow, if it’s like what it was like for me and it’s like that for you, I really hope this podcast can help you out. Welcome. Not only that; they say, man, I hope this podcast can help you like it helped me.
I didn’t know there was something out there like this, but now I’m glad there is and I’m glad you're here. They hope that one day you get that experience, 'cause it’s pretty nice to be rooting for somebody somewhere else in the world who’s hurting in the same way you hurt or frustrated in the same way you're frustrated or…I don't want to get too deep into the feelings, but they're here rooting for you, and that feels good. That’s the good side of that tough stuff. So, that’s one part. The other thing is you deserve a bedtime that you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, the rest you desire, that you can have a bedtime you don’t need to dread, a bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about.
So, that’s why I’m dedicated to making the show and being here, because I know what it feels like and I know we all need rest. We all deserve rest. If you get the rest you need, your life is gonna be more manageable. If you're out in the world flourishing, that means the world’s a better place for all of us. When you're flourishing…the world needs you flourishing, right? That’s not to pressure you into flourishing. Do it on your own natural, organic schedule, but hopefully the rest you need…if I can be a source of that or put you in the right direction…I don't know, if your world’s a nicer place, our whole world is a nicer place. So, that’s a twofold thing of the podcast. What I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.
I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I go off topic, I get mixed up, and I forget what I was talking about. Then I’m like, wait a second, what? Then I try…then I say ‘bakers’, then I say, well, yeah, I don't know the difference between patissiere…I think a French pastry shop is a patissiere, or the person who makes…but I’m not…I’m just not sure. But I’m pretty sure they had a pastry…and I say, okay, patissiere…maybe that has icings and stuff? And pastries…is that the difference between sweet and savory? I don't know. Some people could be frustrated by this, and I get that. That’s what these pointless meanders and superfluous tangents are about, is I just go off topic, I get mixed up so you can just kinda barely listen to me. But you could listen to me right now.
If you know the answers to these questions, you're probably like, come on, man. But here’s the thing; you may be feeling…you might be new and feeling frustrated, and I just want to let you know…like I said, you're welcome here, but there’s also no pressure to even like this show, because why wouldn't you get here and be skeptical or doubtful? If you can't sleep or whatever you're dealing with around sleep or bedtime is anything like me and a lot of other listeners, you're gonna be skeptical. You're gonna be doubtful. You're gonna be frustrated. You tried to find something to put you to sleep. It led you here, and now you got this guy talking about different baked goods or something. I say, technically they're not…and I say, oh, well, that’s information I did not have. But it is the Great British Bake Off.
So, I think I’m safe with that in this particular situation. But yeah, this show is very different, and as a matter of fact, it’s so different that the most supportive people, the people that support the show directly month after month, year after year, even say, man, at first I didn’t like the show. It took two or three tries for me to realize, oh, now I get it. He was serious about all that stuff. I don't need…I don't need to get…I get it 'cause I don't need to get it anymore. This show is almost always never…it’s working…it’s working by never working. So, it takes a while to have your expectations of what a sleep podcast would be, and then be like, what is this? It’s like…well, really, I’m just like a TV on in the other room or a friend or a roommate or somebody you call.
Now, here’s the thing; some people…this show is…whatever, it’s not everybody’s taste, right? You gotta have a certain…a certain type of taste to like this show. So, if it’s not for you, you find out…you listened two or three times, you already know…that’s not a big deal, either. You still deserve a good night's sleep. I have a website set up just for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, 'cause I’m so confident that either this podcast is a fit or not, and that’s okay, right? I’m not so confident this podcast is gonna work for everybody. I’m just very confident that the people it works for, it works for, and I’m confident in my heart that I hope it works for you or you use sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou to find something that does.
So, that’s what making…part of what making the show is…makes it magical for me, is either way, I hope I help you fall asleep. So, most people don’t like it, it’s a show you just kinda barely listen to like a TV on in the other room or a out-of-focus picture…it’s also a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, so you don’t have to worry about…oh, in twenty minutes, am I gonna be asleep or not?
And there’s 600+ episodes in the feed ready to go, because there’s people who are listening who need a break during the day or who can't sleep at all, and I’m here to…I’m here to the very end for them and for you, whether you're awake or asleep, whether you can't sleep or you just need some sort of background noise going the whole time. I’m here, 'cause my job is to just take your mind off of stuff and be present for you. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your bore-bor, your Boris Borlaf, your bore-sib, bore-cuz, bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, to keep you company in the deep, dark night so you could just fall asleep whenever. So, it is a bit different. It takes some getting used to. But it’s…it is also something that’s…spans time, right?
I’m sure even far in the past there were people that told…there were storytellers that told stories to convey information or emotion or experiences or to entertain, and then there was people that filled another niche that said, oh, okay, tell me a story…or why wasn’t there before that, right? Because kids…this is why I started the show. I said, well, kids get bedtime stories. Why don’t adults? Except on occasional…on a special night where…'cause if you have somebody you share a room with or a house with…you say, oh yeah, I could tell you a story. That’s what I did on camping trips or in parks or stuff. But you can only really do that once, right? Then you say, well, I can't do this for you seven nights a week. So, I don't know, that’s why I was like, how come there isn't something for adults?
‘Cause it’s a little bit different than a kid’s bedtime story. I mean, I have my own theories about it, but it’s…there’s more pointless meanders, I guess. So, yeah, I don't even know what I was saying. I guess I hope this show can help you out. So, okay, the other thing I like to tell people about is the structure of the show, 'cause the show has a very distinct structure we’ve developed over all the years of feedback and stuff like that, and it’s also adaptable. So, if you listen two or three times and you're like, well, I prefer it like this, I’ll give you the ways to change it up. The show…everything we make, ideally — except for maybe the occasional misses — has a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and then I say something silly so you feel seen and welcomed in.
You say, hey, this is a okay place for me to check out. I feel welcome here and I feel like it’s somewhat lighthearted. So, that’s the greeting of the show, a pretty important part of the show. Then there’s support so that paying for the show is optional, and that’s what most people prefer. They prefer a ad-supported version of the podcast, and they put it on and they play the episode to the very end, or about five percent of people set a sleep timer for forty-five minutes, maybe five percent at sixty minutes, and a few percentage at thirty. But most people listen to the…like to listen to these ad-supported versions linearly. If you prefer something without ads, prefer something with just intros or just stories or other things, you develop a strong preference, you could get that at Sleep With Me+.
So, yeah, and then after the support is a long, meandering intro, and what the intro does is introduces the podcast, but it takes me twenty minutes. It follows a familiar structure every time, but I go on different tangents…whatever comes up every time so there’s something reassuring and familiar, but it also has variety. In my opinion, that’s just one of the things that’s important about bedtime stories for grownups, is having some variety. But there are…you may become a regular listener and you say, man, I just listen to the same five episodes over and over again, and you support the show, and that works for you. But this is just like…I don't know, I’m explaining why we do what we do, right? But the intro also lasts twenty minutes because it’s not designed to put you to sleep.
While it does put a small percentage of people to sleep, the intro is the wind down or the twilight of the podcast to ease you into bedtime. So, you could listen while you're getting ready for bed, while you're getting comfortable in bed, or you're doing some sort of wind-down activity. I hear about…hear some…from some people that are like, hey, well, I fell asleep and then there was a transition or whatever. It’s like, yeah, well, if you prefer something with just stories, you could get that at Sleep With Me…Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me for a ad-supported version or on Sleep With Me+.
But try it out at first and try chilling out or doodling or looking out the window, playing with something or doing something chill, even if it’s just lying there and not trying to fall asleep, just getting comfortable or laying on your floor before you get in bed, whatever it is during the intro to ease you into bedtime. Then there will be support and then there will be our coverage of the Great British Bake Off, and it’ll be nice, and that’s pretty much the structure of the show, why I make the show, and again, I’m really, really glad you're here.
This podcast and helping you out, however it feels to you in the deep, dark night, is very meaningful to me, knowing I can help somebody that’s struggling in a parallel way to the way I’ve struggled or I continue to struggle on and off. So, I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. So do a bunch of other people, and we all yearn and strive. We all really want to help you fall asleep, and thanks again for coming by. Oh, and here’s a couple ways you could opt in if you really believe in the podcast like I do. Thanks.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. We're talking about Collection 8, Series…I’m not sure. Episode 5, Pastry Week. I did not doing any research since I made the intro where I was going on about Patissiere Week. Maybe if I think of it at the end of the episode we’ll take a look. But yeah, let’s start this up. Subtitles are on, and we're hitting Play. A live play-by-play here. Pastry Week…hello. Delish, delash. Talking pastry. Welcome. Shots of tent…so, it starts with Noel and Matt. A tray of pastries Prue made…but then one of the pastries talks to Matt, and he says, oh boy. It’s just a little…you know, a little comedic sequence. Then we see the tents, we get a little prep, talking heads…pre…Pastry Week preview to get some…sneak some alliteration in there. Parels of pastry is their alliteration.
I don't know, is there some…is there a alliterative version of a dance-off? I mean, it’d be something with…it’d be alliterative, but…we’ve got the writers up of Great British Bake Off and the Fearless Flyer bakers…I mean, writers. Maybe for positive…okay, everybody’s going in the tent. It was raining. Coats are on. It does seem warm, though, 'cause…a lot of shorts and stuff, short-sleeved shirts. We get the talking heads. Some people are feeling good, some people are not feeling good about what Pastry Week is gonna bring. So many steps. A lot can go wrong. The wrong…you don’t want to have the wrong kind of flaky. This is halfway through the show, so I think Peter says, oh, that’s…a lot can go wrong. You don’t want a soggy bottom. Paul and Prue like to make the Cornish national dish, the patsy. Pasty, I think. Pasty? Patsy.
I think it’s pasty, pasty. Fifteen centimeters long, any shape. Noel wants his in the shape of Paul’s…the back side of Paul. Alright, so, they have…it has to be packed with a filling. Cornish national dish…everybody gets into it. Prue says, yeah, this is a challenge, right? You have to cook 'cause…you have to do real cooking 'cause you have to make the filling. Choose your filling wisely, Paul says. Don’t be too dry. You want it nice and crispy. You want that filling…you want some moisture, and we want crimping, Prue says. Crimping is key. This is a time to be ingenious, and Prue says, I want this to be one of the best pasties I’ve ever had. So, they talk to Laura. She’s making a mess. You making a mess again, Laura? They're kinda always on her case. She’s gonna make one with rough puff, cream Dijon mustard, mature cheddar.
She’s doing cheat…rough puff, cheat puff, they call it. It’s based on a recipe of Paul’s, too, or Paul’s method. So, he’s happy. Then Lottie’s up, and she’s doing a flaky pastry. A lot of…Peter…somebody else…Linda are doing regular envelope folds. Mark and Marc and Dave are doing a sturdy short crust, and Hermine’s doing a hybrid pastry. A puff…it’s not a puff. It’s not rough. Hers is gonna have preserved lemon, raisins, some rockin’ flavors. Then we got…one of the Marks with a beard, he’s doing paneer, gobi and paneer. Turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, garlic. It’s very…my style. It’s a spiced shortcut pastry, too. Last week’s Star Baker. How are you feeling? Feel…well, I still have the same feelings. So, you gotta prove yourself every time, Prue says. You gotta get your fillings right, of course. It’s crucial to producing a flawless thing.
So, we're watching everybody making their fillings. It’s kinda like cooking dinner. Lottie’s doing a toad in the hole-less pastry…pasty…pasty…pasty. So, mashed potatoes, sausages, and a rough puff. Prue and Paul are not certain about this. Could be stodgy. Could be soggy. Noel loves toad in the holes. So, yeah. So, Lottie says, yeah, okay, well…and then we're halfway through already. Where does the time go? Noel makes a joke about that with Paul. Lottie’s on her third turn. More turns, more lamination. Peter’s doing a fish…haddock-shaped…smoked haddock…or is it a generic fish, Peter? He jokes. Basmati rice and egg, everything in there. So…and it’s warm inside, everybody’s saying, though not as hot as it’s been other times.
Linda’s doing a samosa with spiced chicken, diced potatoes, and maybe a karma symbol on them. So, yeah, we’ll see. There’s karma jokes, of course. Dave is doing something of course based on travel; Thai chili, basil chicken pasty. Short crust with a dipping sauce…and good chili; bird’s eye chili, maybe? Now Peter’s rolling his out. So is Dave. Everybody’s working on their…whatever, their doughs, 'cause you gotta get that right and you gotta get the filling right. This filling stuff is interesting…watching it, 'cause it is just like making a one-pot dinner. But then you put it in something. I wish I had more patience to do these type of things, 'cause I like making the fillings and…I don't like making doughs with this level. I don't have the patience. Mark’s doing a Cornish fish pasty. How many pleats are you doing? As many as I can.
Paul says, well, there’s a right number. Yeah, there should be a certain number, but I’m not gonna tell you. The rumor was that it was twenty, according to another Mark, but then Paul…Paul’s actually asked. He doesn't actually know factually. Some people are…they're doing their best to be crimping, but…and then it’s egg wash time. Oh, somebody’s trying to curry favor. I liked that line. That was funny. Slap dash…nice and neat, and into the oven. Thirty-five minutes? How long do we have? Half an hour? Okay, that’s gonna be hard to decorate then, 'cause they gotta go in the oven. Linda’s not gonna have time to do her karma thing. She just puts seeds on there. What do we got? Chili motif…that was Dave’s. Maybe if…up the temperature, reduce it…fifteen minutes, but you need twenty. What are we gonna do?
That doesn't add up. You want it to have a nice color, right? Yeah, everybody’s not doing great, right? Lottie’s got some leakage. Says, that’s not good. Dave’s working on his dipping sauce. Mark’s hoping his bake a little bit more…other people’s are coming out. Other people are in good shape. Linda’s swapping hers. One minute’s left. They do a Bond thing. It’s like, okay, let’s just leave them to the very last minute. I think Lottie’s would be good for a theme park. So…toad in the hole. Alright, so, you gotta put them at the end of the workstation. Rustic…okay, well, some…most of them look pretty good. I feel like this was mostly a strong showing. So…okay, now it’s…everybody’s facing their first thing. Marc with a C from…he’s from Cornwall, so…they say, okay, well, the pressure’s on, buddy. You're lacking your pleats.
He says, well, how many am I supposed to have? Twenty or twenty-one. Well, you're about seven short. This isn't brushed properly. Bone dry. Could have used more cream. Needs more moisture. Too dry. Maybe cook it hotter and faster so we get more color. Then we go to Peter’s. I like the look of them. Flat fish…I thought it was gonna be stodgy, but it’s a bit dry. Nice flavor kick, but the rice soaked up all the liquid. We go to Lottie. A bit messy. No…lost the pleats, but I like the color. It’s also a witty idea. Very flaky. Tastes amazing. Mash is good, but it’s…it doesn't look good, but it tastes good. All spot on. So, a winner. Then we got Dave’s. Nice and even. Nice glaze. Well baked. Right color. Chilis on top look good. Flavors are okay, but it’s dry. Too much rice. So, that soaked everything up and lost even the chicken.
Then Prue kinda says, man, if you would have put the sauce in there, it would have made a big difference instead of having a dip sauce. Then we go to Mark with a K. Say, okay, this looks like a pasty or a patsy…a pasty. Firm enough to toss, Prue says. The right amount of heat. Good kick. Gorgeous. Spot on. Gets a handshake from Matt. Everybody’s cheering him on. Hermine’s really trying to get him going. Then Hermine’s up next. A couple more minutes in the oven, maybe. Okay. Nice and full. Cooked beautifully. Lamb’s good. Flavors, the spices…right amount. Beautiful. Lovely. Quite good. Really delicious. Well done. Thank you. So, that goes good for her. Then Linda’s up. She has no pleats at all. So, they say, this is a samosa. Or a crimp, whatever. She says, I missed that in the brief.
They say, well, it was in there, so…your stenciling didn’t work either, but the flavors are fantastic. So, this is a good samosa. Yeah, didn’t follow the…whatever. I can't remember the saying. Then they go to Laura. Crimping…irregular in size, but it means there’s a lot of filling in there. Okay, it’s flaky. Mm, Prue says. Holding together…heaven. Moist in the middle. Perfect blend of ingredients…texture, flavor…well done. Thank you. Well done. I’ll take that. Laura’s really happy to get some positive feedback. Hermine’s happy. Linda’s like, okay, well…huh. So, we get some talking heads. Lottie says, okay, well, I don't want to be in the bottom. Okay, next up…how will you bake in the technical? It’s time for the technical challenge, which is set by Prue today. What are the words of advice? It’s about refinement.
It must be perfect on the inside and the outside. So, they have to leave the tent. I really do like Prue’s sweater a lot this week which she’s…left the tent. So, you gotta do six eclairs. Perfect piping…baked ‘til golden brown. Two hours and fifteen minutes. Two sets of three, I think, or four. Let’s see, we got…they're made with choux, so they're like choux buns, which I looked up at one point and tried to learn what it was. This is a good one, Paul says. I think they're easy, but these are high-end, elegant ones, so it’s a lot of work. You gotta do a choux pastry, so you should be able to do that. You should be able to do that. It’s half…it’s creme pat with salted caramel in one and raspberry puree in the other one. Seedless, by the way. This is halfway through. Paul’s like, these are good, man. Okay, then we see the outside.
It is overcast. Now it’s sunny in the tent. Make the choux is the first instruction. So…and you gotta make it form a paste. Everybody’s is a little bit different thickness, too. Linda’s like, I haven't made this in a while, so I’m not so sure. Noel’s doing a interpretation of it, a comedic one, 'cause there’s a lot of instructions. But you want it to get to a V shape when it’s on a spatular or a spoon. That’s how you know it’s correct. Then you can pipe it. So, it’s a pipe-able dough. I guess…I would assume a sweet dough. Everybody’s goes in the oven. Everybody made the exact right amount. I guess I’d say, man, why don’t I make extras just in case? But I also tend to drop, you know…but, okay, then it’s time to make the creme pat.
Everybody has a different familiarity with making that, and that can split, too, or you can cook the eggs by accident. Dave is left-handed, Noel says, and a left-hander has never won, and someone in a yellow t-shirt. Then Linda’s are not…hers are not puffing up. They're not rising in the oven. So, they're kinda looking similar to something like a churro, like a fried thing. So, she throws them out and has to start again. There’s only one hour, seven minutes, and thirty seconds left. So, she’s trying to remake her choux. Everybody else is working on their caramel or caramel for part of the…their creme pat. You need caramel. You can't mess that up, either. They're talking about other shows, some other show. They're like, would you go on that show? It’s called Birthday Suit. No. Everybody’s laughing.
Okay, seedless raspberry puree…you gotta pure it down and then strain it and mix it with sugar and stuff. Salted caramel to mix with the creme pat…a teaspoon of salt; at least we know that much. Then you gotta chill it because it’s gotta go in something cooked, I guess. Okay, we got Linda’s second round of choux. It doesn't work, either. Matt says, you want me to go to the supermarket and buy some eclairs? She says, yeah, hilarious, but probably, yeah. Okay, then we got…everybody’s trying to get…trying to do their best. Okay, let me have one more go. Linda’s on her third attempt to make these. Half-hour left. Fill three with raspberry creme pat and then three with the other one. Everybody’s is a different consistency.
Again, I always get confused by how they do this when you inject something in there that’s already baked. Like, are they…? They put holes in there. ‘Cause I bought a Twinkie maker at a garage sale or a flea…I can't remember, but every time I tried to fill them, it didn’t quite work. So, I don't…I never successfully made a Twinkie, so, just FYI. Okay, so, everybody’s…Linda’s come up…her third round. She’s like, I’m gonna have to do this. Everybody’s trying to do their assembly 'cause the raspberry ones have to have some sort of frosting on there, too. They're supposed to look high-end, so…with piping and other stuff and fancy sugars. The time is up. Poor Linda, hers are not completed, so I feel bad for her 'cause we like her. Okay, so three were supposed to be salted caramel and three like a raspberry creme pat.
Obviously they're gonna look at them. So, they're gonna start with Dave’s. Toppings are sort of there, more or less the right color. Okay, let’s see what the creme pat’s like. Empty and runny. So, liquid, but nice flavor. Flavor’s alright, but too thick. The consistency on the eclair and the creme pat’s not right. Lottie’s next. Icing’s set, but a split in the creme pat. Flavor’s there; consistency wrong. Then they look at Linda’s. They say, what? They weren't finished. You dip it? Okay. Paul dips it very aggressively. No rise. Something went wrong. Can't understand. Moving on. Then they go to Hermine’s. These look like eclairs. They taste okay. Baked well. Raspberry…not bad effort. Moving on. A bit skinny; these are Laura’s. Pastry’s not baked enough. Flavors are both…are okay. Texture’s wrong. Marc with a C…looks like a caterpillar.
Needed longer in the oven. A lot wrong. Creme pat’s scrambled. Pastry is soft, underbaked. Okay, cheering up with other Mark…these are more or less okay, but empty. That’s got some caramel. Very little creme pat. Nothing in there. Then Peter…quite neat. Consistency’s right. Good flavor. Not bad…tall. Now they start judging. Worst to best…eighth spot is Linda. Whose is this? Few issues with your choux. Then Mark…long, thin, underbaked. Laura, Dave, Lottie. In third place is Mark with a K. Well, it was a well-cooked pastry. It was messy but delicious. Then they give a pause. Then in second spot; Hermine. Pretty good. Could have been thinner, but…and then the winner; Peter. These were delicious. They're just a little bit wrong…oversized. Lovely. He’s like, first time I won in the technical.
Take it off my bucket list, Bake Off bucket list. Hermine’s happy. Marc with a C; not happy. Linda…holy cow, she’s not happy at all. Then we see a half-moon in the sky, sky shots, and then we're at one challenge left before we get to Star Baker. They come out. Today’s…welcome back to the tent. It’s showstopper time. Paul and Prue want you to make a tart in a…a tart with a decorative thing, a lattice to pastry outside…holder. You can use any kind of pastry you want, but it must be self-supporting and decorative. So, this is your showstopper. It needs to look and taste superb. Did you know that Nicholas Cage is what this tart is…the outside of the tart’s named after? The Nicholas Cage tart. There’s also some show they mentioned, Homes Under the Hammer. I don't know what that is.
Three hours and forty-five minutes. On your mark, get set, bake. So, it’s like a tart inside of a Nicholas Cage latticework or box work or a dome or a triangle…or a pyramid, I mean. So, it’s tough 'cause you have to have a tart, but you have to also have the outside part like a building, like almost a Lego thing. Everybody’s like, I don't…I’ve never even done…I’ve practiced it, but…you're supposed to showcase tarts, though. Hermine’s like, why are we gonna build this thing on the outside? Almost like busywork. Prue’s excited, though. It’s elegant and latticed. Can't be too solid. You gotta be able to see the tart on the inside. Structurally sound…and it better be a special, luscious tart, the kind of tart you want to eat a lot of, Prue says. It shouldn't be too rich.
Thin, crispy base is what Paul wants; punching with flavor, beautiful top. These are good bakers. So, Prue says, I got some confidence in them. Alright, so everybody starts getting their doughs ready. Mark with a K says, yeah, I spent about a hour working on your dough. So, you gotta make your pastry for each one. But each dough has a different job, too. Sweet crust for the tart case and then a hazelnut pastry…who’s that? Peter. Matt’s doing…or Dave’s doing a French sweet pastry. Marc’s doing a pate sucre, a crumbly pastry. Lottie’s using three different kinds. It is Pastry Week, after all. So, ambitious choux pastry pyramid cage. Appletree tart…three pastry layers with different apples. Toffee popcorn…but it’s not gonna have sides.
So, they have a disagreement because Paul and Prue are like, it has to have sides. She goes, actually, by definition, it does not. She’s like, I looked up the definition of a tart, and it doesn't have…sides is not one of the requirements. Okay, so then we go to Dave, who’s doing a chocolate, mango, and lime with a cocoa, sweet pastry base…Parisian museum cage. So, mango, lime, caramel…stuck together with caramel. That’s gonna be difficult, they say, with the caramel. Good luck. Linda’s working on hers, trying to stretch it out. You gotta prick your base of your tart when you put it in the pie pan, so…keep it from going lumpy. A lot of people are blind baking their pastry…their tart base. Laura’s really getting her butter ready for hers, like doing a lot of…what is that thing called? Rolling pin work. Laura, tell us about your cage tart.
Key lime pie-inspired tart. Botanical theme. Hopefully I’ll do something delicate and nice. Limey, ginger…crunchy ginger, key lime, Italian meringue, and a dome puff pastry lattice. She goes, my dad loves the key lime-style tart, and so does everybody. So, they're excited. Peter’s never made a pastry cage before this. True test of pastry prowess. Hit the sweet spot. Dough’s strong, but tender enough for eating. Okay, sablee…pate sablee, cocoa pate sablee. Choux isn't very robust, but Lottie says, if I can get it right, it does stand up. Linda’s adapted her recipe so it won't fall apart. Mark’s like, you really…I’m doing rough puff, which you really don’t want to do…build something out of, but I don't know. Peter’s like, I’ve never seen these before, but it sounds like it’ll look cool, like in a store or whatever.
Peter’s is blackberry lemon curd, lemon tart, shortbread dome, pastry cage. So, I like this one a lot. But now he’s not the only one…this classic tart de’citron. So, Hermine’s doing a lemon one with lime, though, lemon and lime confit; meringue, macroons, and then hers is going in a box. So…and they're like, man, you had a good day yesterday. You gonna keep it up today? I’m gonna try. Bread Week wasn’t great. Biscuit Week wasn’t great, but I feel like I’m excelling. They say, okay, more of the same. Okay, then everybody’s working on their structures, kinda cutting and shaping or stenciling, getting ready for piping. How easy or hard is this gonna be, they say? Okay…and doing other design work. Mark’s doing circle molds. Laura’s using a lattice-cutter. Linda’s using a bowl. She’s kinda making her dome on a bowl.
So is Peter. He’s doing a random circular, wavy pattern, where Linda’s doing a more traditional geometric pattern. Hermine’s doing her box like…so, some people are cooking flat. Like, the pyramids and the boxes are cooked flat, where the domes are pre-domed. You're cooking with a dome. Then Mark K is doing something that’s more of a tunnel shape or a half-circle. Then they talk about Peter, if he was a bird, if he was Laura’s pet bird. Okay, and then they…Noel and him, they say, halfway through. Then they start playing table tennis with pizza peels and maybe a giant tomato or a pomegranate. One of the pizza peels breaks. Noel does exactly what I do; he just pretends like it didn’t happen and leaves the room. I was like, yeah, that’s what I would do.
Okay, so then the blind bakes are coming out of the oven, or parbake, as we would say here, or that’s what I would say, parbaking it. Then everybody says, what do you mean, parbaking it? I say, well, I’m…bake the crust, pizza crust, then I top it, then I finish it. Okay, so everybody’s…then other people are still putting their…oh, all the domes and stuff are going in. People are begging, saying, please, please, please. That’s not what that song’s about, but…please, please, please, have my pastry dome come out alright. Mark’s message in a bottle…so, his would have been a ship in a…a message in a bottle. So, his tart is…his bottle would have been the casing and then the shortbread biscuit sand…it’s very ambitious, they say. Using sage…so, he’s like, yeah, I’m going for it. Prue crosses her fingers.
Say, yeah, you just gotta make it look good, Matt says to him. Okay, now everybody’s kinda running around. Okay, then you gotta do your fillings, 'cause that’s key, too, to showcase your flavor; chocolates and citruses and popcorn, creme and diplomat and creme pat. Linda’s making something that Noel used to have as a school thing with evaporated milk. She was like, I had it at school, too. Sweet pastry base, coffee and brandy sponge. Wait a second, these kids had it at grammar school? But yeah, Noel’s like, man, that was my favorite dessert at school, primary school. Maybe it didn’t have…maybe it did, and it’s like, these kids will be quiet, finally. Noel’s like, I haven't had one since. I can't wait. Very simple ingredients. He hugs her and he says, thank you. She says, thank you.
Okay, then Marc’s doing…my favorite pudding in the world, blackberry and apple pie. Posh apple and blackberry pie is kinda what I’m doing. Upmarket tart, sable Breton base, chocolate shmoux, glazed blackberries, and a puff pastry cage, yeah. Short crust flowers…hopefully it turns out. I’m sweating, though. Then the other Mark is feeling behind. How long do we have left? One hour. Matt and Noel try to do their backs and say it in the thing. So, Lottie’s triangle comes out okay. The domes are coming out, but then people have to separate them. Peter’s trying to get his off. There’s even different methods. Hermine’s looks good. Dave’s looks good, 'cause they flat-baked them. Linda’s gonna try to cool hers down in the freezer.
As they cool, people are starting to fill their tarts to move on to the next stage, 'cause you still gotta put it back in the oven and cook the filling, or some have to…some are hot and some are cold. So, some people’s go in the fridge. Then you gotta crack on with finishing touches. So, there’s Conference pears. Never heard of that before. Pear…oh, he’s joking about his…the way he says pear. Okay, lacy template…that’s gonna go on top of the tart for Linda like a doily. Caramel and apples for Lottie…that’s one of her layers. Laura’s doing really fancy fruit work. Star Baker looming in the distance…Noel sings to her like a song. We get more sky shots. Everybody’s begging kinda…Matt makes his head into a lattice with…he’s wearing dough over his head. Okay, there’s only a half-hour left.
Matt’s still wearing the dough on his head as a lattice. Okay, people are looking at their…if their tarts are set. Okay, then we have the cage removal process from the domes. So, Peter takes his from the top. He has tape in there or something. He’s like, if this…hopefully it comes apart. Mark’s gets stuck. Lottie starts assembling hers with…and Dave has to assemble his. Linda’s like, okay, let me see mine. It seems brittle. Mark with a C is trying to get his off. Hermine’s just trying to assemble hers. Lottie’s using isomalt to assemble her triangle. Dave’s using caramel, I think. Okay, so then we have…still building up to the takeoff. Mark with a K and Linda are having trouble. Lottie’s is holding together just fine. Mark with a K, his just falls apart, and it gets worse and worse. Then Peter’s comes off, Laura’s comes off.
Laura takes it from the bottom, Peter takes his from the top, but both ways work. Everybody exhales with relief. Mark with a K is like, I don't even know. Linda’s still trying to chill hers. So, there’s fifteen minutes left. So, now everybody’s trying to get their tarts fully assembled with the fancy stuff or the multiple layers; meringue, fruit in the middle, blackberry curd, and layer after layer. Mark says, yeah, holy cow. Lottie’s is coming together, but Dave’s happy with his. But can I get the thing over the top? Everybody’s starting to hurry. Now Linda’s trying to take hers out of the freezer. She shakes her head. She already…oh, it’s already fallen apart in the freezer.
So, let’s see…Laura’s goes on fine, Peter’s goes on fine, Hermine’s goes on fine, Mark with a C goes on fine, and then Mark with a K and Laura…then Lottie’s goes on fine, Dave’s goes on fine. So, it’s just two people that really got unfortunate results as far as their exterior thing. We’ll have to see what the interiors…how they're judged, 'cause the time is up. It’s not great, innit? Okay, so then we go. Everybody’s sitting, not feeling good, thinking, oh boy, here’s the time to face Paul and Prue. Dave goes first. Chocolate, mango, and lime…they say, it looks great. You got the look with the mango, and now alls it has to do is taste great. Fingers crossed. Nice and neat. So, they cut it. Paul takes his bite and puts his fork down. Prue likes the flavor; loves the mango. Base is the right thickness; marries beautifully. Love the top of it.
Very harmonious. Well done. So, he does good. No real things. Then we got Mark’s posh apple and blackberry pie. Paul says, yeah, it looks good. Okay, highly effective…color looks good. I like the way the tart looks. Okay…and they take a bite. Prue takes a bite. Love the rich chocolate. The base, though, is the problem. It’s the wrong size. It’s too big, but the decorations are beautiful. Yeah, you didn’t get it to the edge. It could have been thinner, 'cause yours just looks a little bit awkward. You have delicate chocolate. Okay, and Hermine’s next. They say, this looks beautiful. Clever design. Really made it work. Then Paul breaks it…until Paul Hollywood touched it. Say, thunder fingers. But that means the pastry will be good. Then they cut into the tart. Prue takes a big bite.
Could have…base could have been thinner, but the flavor’s lovely. Pastry’s beautiful, too. Really good. Too bad hefty Paul had to go after it. Everybody’s laughing. ‘Cause they say, it kinda is like Paul on the outside and Prue on the inside. But flavors are spot on. So, a bit of lightheartedness there. Then Laura’s up. Kent garden tart…and she looks…okay, impressed with your outside. It looks good. Looks lovely. Tart underneath looks nice. They carve into it. Prue takes her bite. Nice yellow watch Prue…love the key lime flavor. I was talking about Prue’s watch looking cool. Yeah, Paul likes the kick of lime. Decoration’s beautiful. Tastes amazing. It looks good. Excellent. You've excelled yourself. You really have. She says, wow, that really means a lot to me. Thank you. Okay, then Linda has to go next.
She’s…tries to be dignified, really, and say, what happened? She goes, last time it lifted up, but this time it stayed on the bowl. Love the colors. Okay, let’s taste it. It really looks good, too. So, it’s too bad, because they love the flavor. A bit thick on the bottom. The bottom could have been thinner, but it’s very traditional. So, it’s frustrating 'cause you didn’t…it doesn't look good. So, bummer. Then Lottie’s goes. Hers almost looks like…what do you call that? A funnel cake or something. The cage is sensational. Really beautiful. Artistry in there. Exceptional, but I don't know if it’s a tart without sides. Then they squish into that one. Very squidgy. They're laughing. I guess if it had sides, it wouldn't be squidgy. Tastes beautiful, though, but looks a right mess. Independent flavors all very, very good.
Textures are good, but the brief was…did you meet the brief? She says, yeah, I mean, come on…whatever. Okay, Peter’s next. I rather liked the randomness of the cage. It does look really good. He managed to randomize it and make it look fancy. He’s happy it held up. Paul’s holding it, laughing. His looks really good. So, they are exploring it. Lovely and tart. Delicious. Puts a smile on your face 'cause of the tartness 'cause it hits you in the back of your cheeks. Paul even smiles. Happy tart, that one. Okay, then we have Marc’s, who was also kinda unlucky. His fell apart. So, Paul gives a long look at him. They're picking it apart. So, the cage did not work. Not a good one. This isn't good compared to where you were at. Piping’s irregular, too. Poached pears don’t look appetizing. They take a couple tastes.
A long pause, but Prue says, unusual, but delicious. I like it. But the pastry’s far too thick, Paul says. At a core level, you didn’t have…it didn’t go well. So, then we do talking heads. Marc says, precarious position. Linda’s like, it’s fair. Then, who’s that? Peter’s very happy. Hermine’s very happy. They both got really good pieces of feedback. Laura’s like, wow, this is the best week I’ve had. I’m choked up, actually. I made it. Then we have some nice flower shots, a sky shot, then it’s table talk time. Okay, cages were astonishing except for Marc and Linda. So, Hermine’s probably…even though hers fell apart when you grabbed it, she’s up for Star Baker. Her flavors were fantastic. Dave did good. What about Peter? Well, Peter did good; first in the technical. Not in line for Star Baker?
Well, I don't know about his signature, they say. Laura’s showstopper was amazing. She’s had a good week. Okay, but what about leaving? Probably Mark L and Marc E. In the technical and the signature, not great…and Linda. So, oh boy, who’s it gonna be? It’s close, huh? Yeah, this is not great. We don’t like this part of the show. Alright, so then we see everybody sitting there and thinking and looking like, ugh. Peter smiles, though. He’s feeling good. They say, yeah, you must be tired. Matt gets to do Star Baker. He says, Star Baker this week is…and there’s long faces and long pauses on faces. Then they say, Laura. Everybody claps. She’s surprised and touched and kinda giggling, almost. Then Noel says, well, I gotta do the other one. Who’s gotta leave?
It’s harder every week as we get to know you better, 'cause there’s less people here. The person who’s leaving this week is unfortunately gonna be…long pauses…Linda. This is a tough one because Linda was so nice, and she was good. But yeah, it’s getting down, you know? So, she says, it’s sad but I’ve been like a child at Disneyland being here. Her and Laura hug. One of the highlights of my life, Linda says. Noel says, I can't believe it. Prue says, a good baker; rough week. I know I can bake. I’m very proud of myself. Yes, I am. Paul says, well done, Laura. She says, yeah, I can't believe it. I can't believe it, but this just actually happened. Paul says, that showstopper was a showstopper. Well deserved. She says, hashtag winging it. I’m looking forward to next week. Everybody says, it’s getting tougher.
Marc C says, I can't have a week like that again. I gotta be better. Then it ends. So, it didn’t have the traditional ending where Laura called her family. I wanted to look up…I guess…let’s see if I can look up patissiere versus a pastry. Then, what was the other thing I needed to look up? That show, but I don't know what timestamp it was at. Okay, let’s see if I could get some internet here and type in difference…oh, somebody else has Googled it before. Difference between pastry and patissiere is pastry refers to the dough itself. Oh, whoops, there’s actually…here’s a discussion of it. Patissiere is a French term that describes the art of making fine pastries as well as the shops. So, I was actually right in some sense. Patissiere is a refined term…high-quality pastries, while pastry is a broader category.
Let me just see what else it says. To put it simply, a pastry is the dough. A patissiere is a style of baking. So, yeah. Okay, so, I wasn’t too far off. Yeah, pastry is a broader category where patissiere is high quality. But I’m pretty sure they did do both of those. Alright, let me see if I can find when the show was mentioned. Was it Dave or…? No, it was Marc C. They're like, hey man, would you be on that show, In Your Birthday Suit? Pastry prowess, short crust, Hermine, Laura, Dave…just trying to find the timestamp. It was like, Hammering It Home? Yeah, it was…I want to see if I put UK show, hammer…okay, Homes Under the Hammer. Okay, so, it is a show. Alright, so we got this under Wikipedia here. Okay, Homes Under the Hammer is a factual renovation and auction series that was on BBC1, daytime.
Been running since November 2003. Let’s see what else…new episodes broadcast until 2022. What is it…the style of the show, though? Format…okay, commercial, industrial property in addition to residential lots and land plots. Each episode follows several lots at auction. They often require refurbishment or full development. A presenter and a local estate agent provide evaluation of the property followed by the auction and sale price. The buyers discuss potential improvements with an estimated budget, and following this format for each property of the show…returns to the show the refurbishments carried out, and then another estate agent gives an updated value of the property. Yeah, and then they…in 2019 they started returning to unfurnished properties featured in past episodes. They give updates.
Yeah, there’s been twenty-six seasons, so it’s still running. So, yeah, I guess that’s a popular show. Or is it popular? I don't know. Twenty…over a thousand episodes. I wonder if it’s relaxing. I don't know, but it was relaxing looking it up and wondering about it. So, yeah. Goodnight, bakers, and we’ll see you next month with another episode of the Great British Bake Off baking show off to sleep. Until then, may some of your pastries…and some of them be pastries from a patissiere. Thanks and goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
