Episode 1317 – Ways to Pronounce Javert | Get Besos in the Sky PI E1
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that obviously is like a old friend who’s…I’ve worn my welcome in, not out. I’m worn with welcome, or I’ve…you know what I mean. Maybe you don’t, 'cause it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I think you do if you’re a regular listener. If you’re new, welcome to the podcast that one day, I’ll have worn my welcome. You say, well, that’s…that part of the virtual space in my life is worn-welcomed for Scoots. That’s my bore-friend. What is…what do you mean? Well, he makes a podcast called Sleep With Me. First time listening, but I’m also communicating from another realm. It’s a podcast…very different. It’s a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. It keeps you company while you fall asleep.
I never thought it would have worked or helped me, 'cause it’s very different. In fact, it took me a couple tries listening to the show, and then that was when I got it; oh, a worn welcome. It’s warm, but it could be cool if you prefer it cool. So, if you’re new, let me earn my…let me warm…earn my warm welcome here, and we’ll see how it goes. Welcome to Sleep With Me. It is…oh, I think I described it, kind of, in the third person. Or was that the second, third, first person? Whatever it was, I’m really glad you’re here. If you’re new, what we got coming up is support so paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then a bedtime story, our season opener…or our new season of a popular series we’ve done. So, we’ll see how that goes. So, yeah, I’m really glad you’re here.
Welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast…welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep, and this show really…I want to thank everybody that supports the show directly on Sleep With Me+ or Apple Podcasts. You support our sponsors, you send me a kind e-mail, you spread the word about the show, or you just love the podcast. Thank you so much. Be sure to let me know so I can say thank you. You could always let me know through the contact form on our website, because this podcast wouldn't exist without you. I do say it a lot, but I mean it. Couldn't do it without your support. So, thank you so much, and here’s a couple ways you could support the show and help it keep going for you and everybody else that listens.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.
It could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, things you’re thinking about, trying to figure out or plan around, anticipate, thought-based stuff, it could be physical sensations, it could be anything you’re feeling physically, it could be emotions related to those thoughts or those feelings…feelings that are just there or that are appearing at bedtime, it could be that you’re going through something, getting over something, in the middle of something, you work a different schedule, you’re traveling, you have guests, whatever it is. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it so you could fall asleep.
The only reason I talk about that stuff is because I want you to feel seen in a way without a direct…you feel seen and understood, but without someone directly engaging your…or gazing and saying, I see you there. More getting the essence of that, but saying, hey, yeah, I think I kinda know how that feels. I’ve been through something similar, or that sounds really tough, indirect…being seen in an indirect way. My tribute to Berger. Ways of seeing and giving people presents indirectly. Well, not indirectly, though; in a meandering way. I guess that’s…you’ll feel seen in a meandering way. Sleep With Me, the podcast that makes you feel welcome, not…what is it? Oh, a pointless welcome. I’m trying to use different buzz words around the show.
But really, you deserve to be understood, and the good news is there’s enough people listening right now…and I don't know if you find this reassuring; let me know if you do, but there’s someone out there that really does understand what you’re going through. I’m not making this up. There’s enough people across the globe, maybe someone on a totally different continent than you in a totally different place, but they’ve been through something very similar. Then they found this podcast and they said, hey, this podcast really helped me out. I didn’t expect it to, didn’t understand what he meant by pointless meanders and superfluous tangents, but eventually, yeah, I realized I’ve been looking for a podcast like this my whole life.
I didn’t even think something like that would be out there. So, I’m glad you’re here, too, and I hope you can welcome the next person in. The best part about Sleep With Me is I can welcome someone just by barely putting a smile on my face and just thinking, I’m glad you’re here. That’s the kind of meandering welcome he’s talking about, or point…the most pointless…you know what the best welcomes are? The most pointless…ones with pointless meanders and…the superfluous, tangential welcomes of Sleep With Me. So, that’s one of the reasons I make the show. I know how it feels for me when I can't sleep, and I think I can relate to how it feels for you.
What I’ll do here…oh, the other thing is you deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable, and I want to live in a world where you’re more rested, where you can live a fuller life. That means it’s a better world to be in, and it does give my life meaning to be able to help you out in any small way I can, not just 'cause I can relate to how you feel, but I know you’re important and I know you have something to add to the world, even in your…just your inner circle or just your relationship with yourself on a day-to-day basis. If you’re more rested, your life’s gonna be better, and that is important. So, what I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night.
I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’m gonna repeat myself, then I’ll get distracted by some verbal thing that I’m…some thing that I’m…some words that are coming out of my mouth that I have to look at afterwards and say, huh, I said those words, huh? What does that even mean? Interesting. Those are words constructed from letters, but really just concepts. I don't even know what you’re talking about now, really. I don't know where those words came from, those ones. It’s almost…is that a sentence? I don't know. What do they teach us about sentences? There’s gotta be a verb and a noun, right? Subject, maybe? That could be the noun, is the subject.
Sometimes there’s an object, or is there always an object? Good…great questions. I don't know, but…yeah, some…if it’s an expression, is it still a sentence? I don't know. ‘Know’ is a verb. I think you’re the subject and the object, but ‘I don't know’ is the object…is a verb of knowing and being known. Okay, this is not our skill…our skill set is mixing up the concepts. But so, yeah…oh, what else do you need to know? One, if you’re feeling frowny-faced or frustrated or you’re listening to this podcast and you’re skeptical, doubtful this will even work, wondering why you’re here…what am I even doing? Those are very normal reactions to this podcast. In fact, that’s how most people…whether they listen once or they’ve been listening for ten years, that’s how they felt when they first got here.
So, alls I can tell you is what most listener experience of people that…long-term listeners say. Give it a few tries. See how it goes. You really have nothing to lose. But if you know this isn't the podcast for you or this is your third time listening…you say, no, this isn't gonna help, or this podcast helped me for a little while; I don't know if it is anymore, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That has other sleep podcasts on there, and I’m not bragging, but it’s introduced thousands and thousands and thousands of people to other sleep podcasts that maybe helped them out. So, that’s pretty cool, because either way, you deserve a good night's sleep, like I said earlier. So, that’s one thing; if you’re skeptical, doubtful, frustrated, it’s pretty normal.
This podcast is a podcast you don’t really listen to, and that does take some getting used to. You say, wait a second, I don't get it, man. So, it does take some getting used to. The other thing is that…what else do you…? Oh yeah, 'cause it’s a podcast you listen to like background noise or like a TV on in the other room. So, yeah, just kinda see how it goes and go from there. Then, what else do you need to know? I always get mixed up. Oh, a podcast you don’t really listen to…also, I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, which is a bit different. I’m not…there’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. The reason the episodes are over an hour is so you have some reassurance.
You say, this podcast can be here, and there’s over 300 episodes in the archives so you say, okay, there’s plenty of episodes. I could listen all night if I need to. ‘Cause I’m gonna be here to the very end whether you’re awake or asleep, whether you’re listening or not, because there’s people who are listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day or who just woke up and need a break or a distraction. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff and then you fall asleep, to barely entertain you and to just kinda walk at your side. Or like I said earlier, a well-worn space is kinda one of the things about this podcast. I can be there and it’s a nice, little groove.
You say, oh boy, that is some smooth wood or whatever, where Scoots is going on those pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. So, yeah, what was my point? I just…I petered out there. But I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your borer in charge, your bores…I think I said Borbie, your best bore-friend f’eva, your bore-bruh, your friend in the deep, dark night to just keep you company and you fall asleep. If you need to listen all night or there’s a time where you just need a break during the day…there’s people that listen while they’re doing boring tasks…even painters listening, who…technically, I don't think they’re watching the paint dry, but sometimes it feels like that for them.
So, those are a couple things to know. The other thing that throws people off is the structure of the show, and, hey, if you’re a regular listener, let me know, 'cause I always go…kinda go through the structure. Let me know if that’s helpful for you or not. If you do want to skip the intros and you just want bedtime stories, check out our podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. But I always have to remember that it’s people’s first time listening, and I like to go through everything to meet you where you are, because you’re the one who took the time to check out this podcast. Your time’s valuable, and you want me to help you fall asleep, and I’m kind of applying for the job. Obviously my qualifications…you say, well, this is interesting.
You showed up at the interview with pockets full of pointless meanders and superfluous stuffing. No, that’s not stuffing; there’s pointless meanders and superfluous tangents and stuff…yeah, and there’s…I have pockets full of stuffing, as well. In my front pockets is Stovetop stuffing. In my back pockets is stuffing from some boxes that I was gonna recycle and then I forgot about. In fact, you caught me on a trip to the compost. Why do…you put stuff in your pocket…? Well, only in the podcast I do. I sat down to record it. I didn’t know we’d be meeting here. But I wanted to meet you where you were and explain why we structure the show the way we do.
We’ve been making the show eleven years, and as we’ve kinda seen how people listen and heard from them, most people like a podcast that’s ad-supported, and they listen to it in order. But as we learned that, there were some people that wanted story-only, so we made Bedtime Stories for Sleep With…from Sleep With Me. Then there’s some people that just want intros of shows, so we put that on…we do story-only and intro shows on Sleep With Me+. But for most people, they like this show. The way it works is it starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then there’s a long, meander…oh, then there’s support so paying for the podcast is optional.
If you prefer something without sponsors, you just gotta support the show directly on Sleep With Me+, or you could do it via our referral program for free just by spreading the word. But then there’s a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, which is separate from the support, though when people feel strong…when people don’t like the podcast, they lump the intro and the support all together with everything they don’t like, which I understand. That’s why four years ago, five years ago, I made sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou so that most of you, even if you don’t like me or the show, you feel seen anyway and you say, okay, I’m gonna check out a podcast on there.
But what the intro is is that it’s something that kind of explains what the podcast is in a similar structure every time but is different every time so you get familiarity and variety, which I think are two keys to making a sleep podcast, if I’m honest. You say, okay, I recognize this, but it’s not the same as last time. Then the other purpose the intro serves is to ease you into bedtime, because what most science around bedtime shows for most people and what’s worked for me personally and based on feedback from listeners is having a way to ease you into bedtime works for most people most of the time. For me, not all…it doesn't always work, but it works more times than not.
So, the intro gives you a chance to get in bed and get comfortable, do…get ready for bed and listen, do something relaxing or chill out, pet your pets, draw, knit, hook, play with some toys, look out the window, whatever it is, puff pillows and that kind of stuff, maybe make your bed and then unmake it? I don't know. Whatever works for you. But it eases you into bedtime. A couple percentage of people, like two percent of people, fall asleep during the intro. But the intro’s really a buffer to ease you into bedtime. It puts…yeah, like I said, a small percentage of people to sleep, but for most people, it’s a landing strip.
Then after the intro is support again so the show could be free or paying for it’s optional if you want something ad-free, and then tonight will be our episodically modular new series for this year, and…yeah, that’s it. That’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard on the show. So do a team of people, 'cause we know what it’s like out there, man, during the night and the day. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard on this podcast. Oh, I think I said that, but I love working on the show. So do the people…other people that work on the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I appreciate you giving me your time and coming by, and if you’re a regular listener, here’s a couple ways we’re able to do this for you on a regular basis.
Hey everybody, this is Scoots here just giving you a heads up. Get Besos and Big Farm in the Sky PI, it does…it is a PG show. It may not be a show for everybody. We’ve done multiple seasons of this, but these characters do visit other worlds and…beyond ours, including a world that goes by the names of purgatory and limbo and beyond. While we try to keep this as PG as possible and as sleepy as possible, I just want to let you know ahead of time just in case…if you want to skip it, but it’ll be pretty sleepy, too, so…but yeah, just wanted to give you friends…a friendly heads up. Thanks.
Alright everybody, it’s time for our episodically modular series, which means you can listen to these in any order. This happens to be the first episode, so the characters will catch you up on everything and where things are at. But this is our episodically modular series. It’s, I believe, the fourth season we’ve done, and it’s been a while, but this is a little series called Get Besos, B-E-S-O-S, and it’s a tale of James Cash Penney and Richard Warren Sears, fictional parody characters who…those are the main characters, Richie and James, and in their…on their…when they were Earthbound beings, they both ran gigantic enterprises and created them, and unrelated to any of the tales we’re gonna tell, they both found themselves in a place you could call limbo, you could call it purgatory, you could call it the middle place, and they both found themselves there, where they struck up a friendship.
Since they struck up that friendship in a different realm than the one we’re in, they’ve had a bunch of adventures, most of them involving someone that was Earthbound at the beginning of their tales, Jiff Besos, B…J-I-F-F B-E-S-O-S, and originally they wanted to go get Jiff and surprise him because Richard Warren was so disappointed that his stores had closed, James’ stores had closed. He felt, to use a word that doesn't get really used anymore, bismirched. So, they’ve been on many, many adventures to work with Jiff and help him see…but they’ll explain more about it, I guess. So, yeah, that’s the tale. Normally it would be a longer catch-up on the plot, but nothing’s happened so far.
So, I’m gonna hand it over to our Hollywood announcer. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. He drives all the way from the Greater Los Angeles Area to help us out here. His name is…I almost said Get Besos. His name, Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, the boys are back. It’s time for Get Besos. Yeah. It was…originally, that’s where your ‘yeah’ maybe came from, huh? He shrugged, but it’s good to see you. Scooter, it’s good to see you, too. I’d argue, but there’s not enough room in here. Thanks, I appreciate that. That’s Antonio Banderas, and this is Get Besos, everybody.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to Get Besos. Tonight’s episode opens in a place Scooter said, called purgatory or limbo. We’re gonna call it purgatory 'cause it just…whatever the syllables are, it sounds better in a sleep podcast. But I want you to forget all you know about that term, 'cause we’re in a version of it you may not be familiar with, a version…I don't know if you’ve ever seen a unadorned dorm room with walls that aren't yellow and they’re not cream colored, but they’re a color in-between, and there’s not much in the room but a desk and a bed and maybe a place to put some clothes, but there’s nothing else in the room, nothing decorative, the kinda place you’d expect some serious meditation to be going on, or, yeah, a place where you’d go on a retreat or a sabbatical.
There’s nothing distracting in this room, nothing interesting. Well, almost nothing interesting at all, 'cause sitting quietly at the desk with his hands folded is James Cash Penney, an imaginary character, but you would say at first glance…you’d say, that’s a charismatic character. Somebody about him makes me feel at ease and comfortable, even watching him sitting there with his hands folded at a desk. Nothing on the desk at all. Maybe he seems in thought, or maybe…well, now we can tell he’s listening to something. He’s hearing something, and then we start to hear it, too. It’s some sort of whistling or humming, maybe even singing combined. The song is familiar, but we can't quite place it. But whoever’s doing it sounds like they’re in a very good mood.
As it gets closer and closer, we hear footsteps down a linoleum hallway, and James looks up from his desk. The first voice we hear is not James Cash Penney’s, but someone else’s. Oh, hello, James. Good to see you. I didn’t expect to see you here. Hey, Richie. You didn’t expect to see me in my room? Were you whistling or humming or singing? James, I was…all three, I think. Yeah, I was doing…I was…yeah, I was whistling, humming, kinda sing…sing-whistling. That’s great, Richie. It’s great to see you in such a good mood. I mean, I feel like ever since we got back here that the mood here, even my mood…I mean, I’m sorry, Richie, that I’m not able…how long…any idea how long we’ve been back here, Richie? James, we’ve been here very…a long time.
You know, we’re out of the flow of time, though, so, a long time to us is…it’s…James, do you like to call it limbo, purgatory, or something else? I don't…I guess I don't call it anything. Just ‘here’, but…the most boring place in existence? If I could call it anything, but…I don't know. Richie, I was thinking…I was sitting here thinking. I don't know if you could relate to this, but do you feel like most of the time here…does your skin feel like you were…not…you’re sweating right now, but like you were sweating earlier? Not like going for a run kind of sweat, but you know what I mean? I feel like I was sweating three hours ago. James, I feel like that all the time, yeah. I mean, I know it’s slightly unpleasant here, James. I could agree with you on that.
I’ve been hoping, as probably you have…have you heard anything about us moving on anywhere else? No, no. I try not…I mean, I try…I’m hoping that it’ll be a surprise. I mean, I have no information. So, it definitely will be a surprise, but I’m not…I’m kinda not waiting for a surprise I’m waiting for. Alright. I don't want to give my opinions here, James, but what do you think? What do I think about what? About, you know, here? What do you think of here? I think I just made my thoughts clear, I guess. Didn’t really have a choice whether to be here or not, so…and to be honest, I think we’re lucky to be here, very, very lucky. Oh yeah, James, so…we’re so lucky. Yeah, so lucky. Well, I mean, we learned…the one thing I know is that we’ve learned the universe is resilient.
I still don’t quite understand everything, the difference between a resilient universe, a multiverse, and…I mean, sometimes I think I’m pretty smart, but quantum stuff…alls I know is that it’s been proven that the universe is resilient. What do you mean by ‘proven’, James? Okay, well, we’re kind of…if you were to say things…I mean, we’ve been here a while, but things kind of reset or reformed, and the universe is moving forward and backward at the same time, maybe. But I didn’t think that, and I know things are always changing and in flux, but they’re also in a balance in a way I don't understand, maybe even harmony? I think that’s the kind of stuff when we were…James, you’re losing me.
Okay, well, considering everything that’s happened with us and the universes or universe and our history with it, I’d say that it’s been proven that it’s resilient, right? James, ‘resilient’ is a very interesting word. You’re saying healing, though, really is what you’re saying. Like, magic…I’d say magical healing, cosmic healing, spiritual healing, healing. Richie, I disagree with you on that. What do you mean, disagree with me? Well, I’m not sure it’s healed or healing, but the universe recovered. It didn’t…I mean, I guess that’s a word, but maybe I agree with you? I don't know. It put itself back together in the past, in the present, and presumably in the future, but I don't know about the future.
Purgatory…if it was a advertisement and I was writing it, I’d say purgatory is back in stock at James Cash’s, you know? I’m guessing heaven’s back, and maybe double hockey sticks is back. I’m hopeful that…I don't know. James, that’s a strange thing to be hopeful about. Well, about the heaven side. I mean, but it’s gotta be in balance, I think. So, if things are in balance, then…well, yeah, I guess if things are in balance, then heaven would definitely be back. But we really have…why are you making that sound? You were gonna say we have no way of knowing, right? Do you know…have you been…are there some sort of newspapers you’re sneaking in here? Do you know something?
Here’s the thing I know, James; all my time with you, all the knowledge I’ve acquired across time and space, across dimensions I don't even have words for, being your best friend, helping people, solving problems, fixing things, I’ve learned a lot about right and wrong. Wait, you’ve learned about right and wrong? Oh, yeah, yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, James. In fact, you could say I’ve been studying right and wrong and becoming…researching it, even. Wait a second, how…? When you say research…you’re not…so, you’re not just sneaking newspapers? There’s no outside…we’re not allowed to do any learning or reading or researching here. There’s no outside materials allowed in. So, please don’t tell me you’ve been researching, actively researching stuff.
But I can tell by the look on your face that you have been. Basically, anything that’s gonna bring us pleasure or the opposite, we don’t have here. It’s just that feeling of sweating hours ago, and along with that, mild…I guess mildly unpleasant. Yes, it is mildly unpleasant, James. Do you feel like that…what would you say about that? Is that right or wrong? I think we were supposed to be somewhere…I mean, I don't know, I don't feel like that question applies. But are you reading stuff? Do you have materials you’re…? I haven't been to your room 'cause I don't want to go there, and this is exactly why I don't want to go there, because we’re not allowed to do any…correct, James. Those are the rules. Wait, but the rules aside, are you doing…are you up to something?
Yeah, I’m learning about right and wrong, James. I’m studying it. Wait, but are you studying H-E double hocket stucks? Is that what you said? Do you know for a fact…? I was just assuming that things are back to normal 'cause they’re normal here, and we were told that everything was okay. All the stuff we did…they tried to explain it to me. I don't know normal. James, what’s normal in this situation? Come on. What’s normal right and normal wrong to you? I don't know. I got a feeling you have a metaphor for me or something? Are you familiar with a tale of…W-O-E of Inspector Javert? Inspector Jav…what…? No. It’s Javert, James. You may, in your head, think it’s like Javier or Javer…Javier…but it’s Javier. Javert? Javert? Richie, are you okay, man? Javert, James. The only…oh, wait a second, that was Les Mis, the…?
Inspector Javert from Les Mis? That was Les Mis you were whistling and humming and singing, huh? Not Les Mis, but yes, it’s…he did receive some renown from the musical and the tale Les Mis, as you call it. Remember, we’ve seen it a few different times. We saw the movie. Yeah, back when we would break the rules, we saw…we went to the musical. That was back when I was a rule-breaker. Bender, James. We bended our way around the rules. We didn’t break any rules. Okay, so, what about Inspector Javert? What do you mean? Are you familiar with his tale? I mean, the parts of the movie or the musical. I never read the book. But yeah, he was on a ill-fated quest to…after Jean Valjean, even when it was shown that it was not a good idea. Oh, okay. Yeah, so, Inspector Javert…okay, you’re losing me, now.
Well, do…what do you think of Inspector Javert? Which one, the Russell Crowe one? I think…remember Hayden T? You remember that one? Terrence Mann? Okay, James, stop showing off, please. I’m talking about Inspector Javert. Okay, but…wait, you realize Inspector Javert is a fictional character and those were performers playing Inspector Javert. Okay, but James, think about right and wrong. Okay, I guess that’s kinda what that musical was about, that there’s nuance…oh, never mind, there’s no nuance. Right, James. You’re right. Inspector Javert was innocent. I think we could both agree on that. Well, I didn’t say that. I said…I made a mistake. I didn’t mean to get into it. I wanted to keep this a surface-level discussion, but somehow now we’re discussing things.
You know, James, somewhere out there, Inspector Javert could use some help, I believe. In which part of the plot? No, no, no, I’m not talking about Les Mis. I’m talking about Inspector Javert. Okay, can you explain to me what real and unreal is? Well, James, I think if I’m using…if you want to talk about surface level, you’d say…you would say fiction is not real, but real is real, right? I guess that’s a good place to start. Okay, but also, you just told me the universe is resilient, going backwards and forwards, and that somehow it can fix itself or rebalance itself like some sort of mechanic that self-mechanics itself. Well, no, I didn’t say that, but I think through things that I just don’t quite understand, and change is a part of that. Okay, but you were saying all that’s real, right?
Well, yeah. I mean, fiction’s real in a framework of reality, but…so, there’s room for fiction in reality. You know what I mean? But that doesn't make the fictional characters real. Oh, really, James? Let’s not start with that, please. Okay, well, Richie, let’s start with this. So, let’s go back to the whole thing about the universe being resilient. Do you know how we got to where we are, everything that happened? Because that was real. Well, James, now it’s unreal, though. That’s exactly my point. You’re saying that everything that happened, all the things…all the wrongs we tried to right was real, but now all our actions have been erased by resiliency?
I’m talking about misunderstood people like Inspector Javert, and that there’s other people like Inspector Javert that…yeah, you talked about fate being in their path, and was it the right or wrong fate? After that fate, you would say, James, what happened to them? Okay, well, I think…I don't understand what we’re talking about, and I’m a little…but this gives us something to do, and that’s what I missed about you. So, this is great. It means we’re passing some time. So, okay, so, you’re saying Inspector Javert is real, and something…that it was unfair…something unfair happened to them, because during their quest, which was clearly kinda ego-driven, they were blinded by their need to complete what they thought of right and wrong.
Okay, so, in that sense…I’m just using ‘selfish’ as a general term, but what they viewed…Inspector Javert viewed as right became all consuming and consumed him in the end, right? Okay. I guess in that sense, it is reminiscent of…so, another quest…I don't know if this is what you were talking about, but someone…let’s just pretend it was me, not you. Okay, James. You have plenty of flaws. Let’s talk about them. I became so consumed with other people’s success on Earth when I was just here in purgatory, and I saw someone become so successful by certain definitions of success, and…James, and maybe that person, when you were watching them, they thought they were flawless and smart and claimed to be the most valuable person. I mean, sure, you could say that. Let’s just pretend this is a different Javert.
James, Javier. Sure, sure. So, Javier saw somebody, and they said, oh, they think they’re hot stuff with their…and then they ruined an entire way of…they ruined retail. Yeah, and then they said, okay, we’re gonna scale and be efficient and change the way people do stuff and make a lot of…claim they make a lot of money. Yeah, convenience and profit somehow intertwined, yeah, but they never thought about the consequences, especially to people that enjoy going to a retail store, especially a really…I mean, no offense, one that has…where you could get…that is dependable, not just a place you get your pictures taken. Okay. Or your haircut. I mean, I don't know why…who would have a store where you could get your hair cut? Okay, so, Javier is upset about all that. Wait a second, what are we even talking about?
You were trying to explain to me about the resilient stuff, and…something. Oh, okay. So, Javier…can we just say Javert, 'cause it’s…? Okay, James, this is fanfiction time, I guess. So, Javert is in purgatory. First they start sneaking in newspapers where they learn about this person, then they decide they’re gonna leave purgatory and go to Earth to correct this person. We’ll say their name’s Jiffy. James, that’s a good…why haven't we been using that all along? They’re gonna get there in a jiffy. Somehow they find a friend —oh, James, yeah, tell me about the friend — a friend that’s wise and smart. Yeah, I guess you’re…so, you’re…I prefer to be Javert. So, the two friends go to Earth to find Jiffy, to correct his actions.
Right, before it’s…before retail’s ruined forever. Maybe they had some deeper motivations that people couldn't see. Oh, like James needed to fall in love. Or other deeper motivations. But then what happened was they got sidetracked and they ended up going in…'cause they were never supposed to leave purgatory, I think is the biggest lesson there. Right or wrong aside, that’s where everything went awry. They were assigned to a place; they could have just waited there, but they left, both of them. Yeah. I mean, one person was obviously so charismatic that they just listened to their friend, who was lonely. Okay, sure.
But so, they went to Earth to find Jiffy, then they ended up somehow upsetting all of the balances that the universe had, because the universe, up until that point, as far as I know…no one had left any of the post-Earthly arenas, even though it may be…there was…essences, James. Yeah, there’s been essences seen, but…or indirect action. This was the first direct action. Yeah, I mean, they’re pretty…they should be pretty famous, James. Well, I think infamous, but…so, they ended up disrupting the non-positive post-Earthly existence, basically ruining it, and then they restarted it because it turned out it was a necessary component to existence. Oh boy, James, they must have been so successful. Well, that ended up not working out for Earth as we knew it.
So, then I’m pretty sure that Earth, which we thought was a multiverse…we were wrong about that, but that’s fine. Or, I don't know, maybe we weren't. I don't understand it. But that particular timeline, if we’re just using that terminology, was totally disrupted in a way that seemed pretty much long-lasting, forever. Then they didn’t stop. They still found Jiff later on a at place…in a separate world, I guess, where it was an actual utopia. No such thing as a utopia, James. Okay, it was pretty close to a utopia for regular human beings based on some sort of belief system in Jiffy. Yeah, they were misguided. How could it be a utopia with that kind of…? Okay, but I’m just telling you, it was pretty much a utopia. Supposed.
Okay, then they disrupted the utopia, then the positive world you go to, they also disrupted. I’m sorry, James, what? Okay, they essentially…this is, I guess, all theory, but it’s…kinda going through it is exhausting. James, it’s…you and…yeah. Okay, so, then they de-existed or basically ruined the positive post-Earthly existence. I think that’s what I was saying. Yeah, whoever thought of the idea, though, to fix everything, that they had…that came up with that loophole…what kind of brains…? Right, what kind of vision would some leader have to de-exist the positive…the one positive…pure, positive realm? Okay, so, what happened after that, James? You know, it gets foggy after that, to be honest with you. I know that they somehow ended up trying to fix the internet or social media or people…human beings?
They tried to control human beings…human behavior? I don't know, they were chasing Jiffy around what seemed like the real world, but it’s so foggy to me. It was…it feels like a dream. I’m wondering…I guess every night I do wish this whole thing was a dream, but deep down I know it isn't. But after all that, you would think that things would be pretty rocky. Right, because they tried to fix everything, but then the people that wanted things the way they wanted them were probably pretty upset, 'cause they wouldn't just accept the fixes. Or the fact that the natural things that had existed since the beginning of time or before that were de-existed or taken over and then ruined…okay, James. So, then what happened? Well, like I said, it was…that whatever they did, they were just…or post-Earthly humans.
So, all the wrongs they did, the universe could just recover from it, kinda like…at first it seemed like if you were standing really close to it, it was like, oh, they broke that, but then you take a step back and you realize, oh, you dropped a glass, but the universe knows glass is made of sand and other stuff. James, that doesn't make any sense at all. Okay, but there’s always gonna be…there’s…be other glasses and there’s other sand. Okay, basically you’re saying the universe fixed itself. I mean, more or less, I think. So…but that’s not a story, man. That’s what we did, actually, and that’s why…so, what’s this whole good…and why are you studying H-E hockey sticks, and what’s going on with this…? I don't…I’m very interested in what you have to say.
Oh, James, great, because…yeah, we were talking about right and wrong, and when people try to fix right…make things right, that we’re wrong. Yeah, sometimes a couple glasses get broken or whatever, but it works out just fine. The fact that they were trying to make things right is the most important thing, 'cause they knew what they were doing. I don't think that’s what I said, but…and there’s people out there in the post-Earthly existence that’s not so nice, like Inspector Javert, and they need help, too. I don't think…there’s no…so, people that are famous for their post-Earthly existence are parts of mythologies, right? Right, which we’ve…turned out, some of that’s real. Okay, and you get the idea that what you believe…oh, boy. Right, James, people believed in that.
So, like our friend that runs the skiff across the river made of sticks…turned out he was real, because…right, but people…Les Mis is a musical. So, there’s no part of that that has to do with post-Earthly realms. James, Inspector Javert and many other people need our help. Okay, but…no, they don’t need our help, because we’ve done enough damage for eternity’s sake, and hopefully it’s not a total eternity in this…James, there’s nobody more qualified than us to fix damage and to right wrongs. Wait a second…wait a second, so, what does this…? This has to do with Jiff, doesn't it? Where’s Jiff? Wait, was Jiff on Earth? Or, where was Jiff? Oh, speaking of righting wrongs, James, is Jiff is…that’s the perfect time to talk about Jiff, 'cause Jiff wanted to right some wrongs, too.
We’ve kept in very good touch, and Jiff’s on board with this idea already. Oh, wait, what’s the idea? I thought you were research…I thought this was a philosophical discussion. Oh, James, you’re so silly. So…okay, you agree that people get misunderstood, right, James? And maybe there’s a misunderstanding here, and maybe Inspector Javert was part of a misunderstanding. I mean, he misunderstood his version of right and wrong and right and wrong. Right, okay. Yeah, he was misunderstood. We agree on that. Of course Jiff is interested in stuff like that, because he wants…Jiff’s done so many wrongs, you know, that he knows he has to make a lot of things right, make them up to me, make them up to the world. Okay, I don't like the way this is going. So, you have a plan.
Oh, wait…yeah, can you tell me…? This sounds so interesting and so riveting and it sounds like you’ve got an idea of how to fix everything. Could you tell me about it? Oh, James, thanks for finally bring…coming to your senses. So, where do I start? Well, I guess you got questions about Jiff, probably, too, but don't worry about that right now. So, basically, my plan, James, is to right these wrongs, whether it’s Inspector Javert, other people who I’m researching currently, like the person with the rock, the Sisyphus…I don't know…first, I want to make sure I’m comfortable. But I say, if you’re stuck…that’s just wrong. You can't be rolling that rock up and down forever. Or, just because…sure, Jean Valjean had many great qualities, especially Hugh Jackman. I guess I can agree.
But that doesn't make Inspector Javert…what’s he doing, right? I wanted to find out, and I found out, and I found out…well, that’s not very nice. So, I said, we’re gonna fix this, you and I and Jiff, too, huh? Well, no. I mean, Jiff’s not really qualified to fix anything, but just to do basic work. Okay, good. So, Jiff’s not…Jiff’s just helping you with the research, so Jiff’s not involved. Jiff’s like my assistant, James. I mean, that’s at least a complimentary term, I’ll call it. Okay, so, let me make sure I understand this correctly. You’re talking about people…you’re talking about people you believe to be real…and James, belief makes things real, if we’ve learned anything. Well, I don't think in a one-to-one sense it does, but that’s fine.
So, you want to go…I mean, man, this is…I don't see how I can even explain this without…I think I gotta go back to bed. James, why don’t you try, with your limited capacity, to explain it? Okay, I’m just trying to put myself in your…so, your plan — but I can only have a basic understanding of it — is to rescue people like Inspector Javert that you feel like were wronged for eternity even though we don’t…but you’re…even though we don’t know that for sure, or…okay, James, you’re barely not there, but we’re going on a rescue mission, James. People like Inspector Javert need us to go rescue them, and there’s probably plenty of other people. Okay, so, only…please only fictional characters that we’re comfortable with, though, right? I’m not rescuing just anybody.
Oh, James, you’re saying it like…I don't know if I actually need your help, though. Okay, no, I’m just…well, okay, that’s great news. So, you’re gonna go down — assuming it’s down, which we kinda know — within, and you’re gonna rescue Inspector Javert and maybe Sisyphus after you do more research and the person with the rock who’s name I once knew but I probably have to learn more — I think we met them one time — and anybody that vaguely is like that…once you do the research, though, to make sure…right, that it was just a mistake, like Javert. Yes, he could have behaved better. I get it. Maybe he was a little jealous of Hugh Jackman. But Russell Crowe wouldn't be jealous of Hugh Jackman. Okay, but…okay, I get it.
So, you’re gonna go rescue…let’s just leave it at that; you’re gonna go rescue Inspector Javert. I’m on a mission, James. Okay, and you don’t need my help, though. No, no, no, Jiff’s…I got Jiff. Jiff’s doing everything. Well, what do you mean? Well, he’s my assistant. Okay, but what do you mean Jiff’s doing everything? Well, I gave Jiff the list to research, and Jiff gave me back a report…some basic reports on Javert. Since then, I haven't heard from Jiff. Whoa, whoa, wait a second, you have a list? No, no, Jiff has the list now. Okay, but you sent Jiff to the post-Earthly, non-positive realm colloquially know as H-E double hockey sticks. I gave Jiff an assignment to carry out.
Okay, you sent Jiff to H…you sent…oh no…okay, you, in all your wisdom and brilliance —oh, James, finally — gave Jiff, who I think is still a Earthbound human…well, first…after the universe repaired itself and showed it was resilient…and we were just supposed to stay here and not do anything…yeah. I mean, talk about right and wrong, James, right? We sweated eight days ago and we still haven't had a shower, and there’s nothing to do but sit here. Then…and think, so, I guess in that sense, it is…so, there’s nothing to do but sit and think. You came up with a plan…oh, first…I don't know, just…some of Javert’s songs got stuck in my head. Okay, and then you wondered what’s Inspector Javert up to now. Correct, exactly. I said, I love this guy.
So, you said ‘I love this guy’, and then you said, okay, what’s he up to now? Because you were aware of post-Earthly realms. And I knew it wouldn't be good. So…and you knew it wouldn't be good because of the way the whole thing played out. Right, James. Correct. So, then you got…then you started doing research. Well, I let Jiff do most of the research. So, you had Jiff do the research, and you decided to rescue Javert once you find Javert if you…if Javert can be found. Yeah, these were the things…I told Jiff, you have to prove your worthiness to me, and this is just the beginning of your stages of me forgiving you. Okay. I mean, I think it’s interesting that Jiff agreed to this. Well, humans can't get in…I’m the only person that has a in.
So, Jiff was interested…oh, for Jiff as other…? Holy moly. James, what are you saying? I’m just saying my mind is blown. Right, it’s so sensible, right? We have to…the world needs…sometimes the world needs heroes, James. Okay, so, you sent…so, where’s Jiff now? Well, that’s the problem, James. Jiff’s not always on top of things. Jiff’s always thinking about numbers and efficiency. So, sometimes he gets sidetracked. So, I haven't heard from him in a while. Well, like how long? James, I don't know. Could be a hundred, two hundred years? I don't know how time passes here. A hundred years? Two hundred years? Maybe because time’s different there, too, it could be longer or it could be shorter. Okay, like short…shorter like it could be five days?
Oh no, no, long…much longer. I mean, I wouldn't think he could do much in five days. Okay, so, you sent Jiff to H-E double hockey sticks to find Inspector Javert from Les Mis so that you could come and rescue Inspector Javert to right a wrong. James, now you’re correct. Did you have a plan of what you were gonna do with Inspector Javert after you rescued him? James, you’re getting sidetracked now about…it’s the rescue that’s important. Okay, so…okay, and you sent Jiff to do the research and the ground work, and you haven't heard from Jiff. Correct. Okay, and what…when were you gonna tell me about…? Today, James. I’m talking to you about it today.
I just wanted to let you know, because I’m gonna go…I was just gonna go and kinda get…try to find…get Jiff’s attention, probably just whistle and sing and look around, but not go too…I won't go too far. So, you were just gonna open the door or whatever gateway you have…did you just bribe someone or something? James, it’s called supporting other people. Bending the rules is different than breaking the rules. Okay, 'cause I’m sure if you can do this, then, yeah, then obviously it isn't a rule. If you can access these other…right, James. Clearly, if you can do it, then why…? I should do it. Okay, so, you were just gonna open the door and then yell, hey, Jiff, can you get back here? Well, I did do that a couple times.
Well, I forgot, then I just started singing and pretending I was Inspector Javert…I’m a pretty good Javert. Okay, and…so, basically what you’re telling me is that somewhere in H-E double hockey sticks is Jiff looking for Inspector Javert, who may or not be there. Well, James, I’m sure of it. What if…you don’t think he could have gone to the positive…? I’m just being…right, James, you’re just being passive-aggressive…saying, why wouldn't Inspector Javert be in the good place? Well, I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be interesting fanfiction. It’s not fanfiction, James. It’s something I believe in. Okay, no need to get irritable. So, basically what you’re saying is you and I…if you would allow me to be your new assistant and…but only if I can go with you together, because I couldn't…like Jiff, without your brilliance, I can't function.
So, I would need to go with you…I would need to accompany you, 'cause I would never…I’d be hopeless without you. But you were saying basically we have to return to H-E double hockey sticks to get Bisos. Besos, James. Jiffy, Jiff, Jiff…get Jiffy, or, yeah, get Besos. I like saying ‘get Jiffy’, though. Okay, so, that’s it. I’m gonna have to sleep for like, four or five days after this, though, and then we’ll go get Besos. Okay, James, you get some rest. I will be…maybe I’ll get some rest, too. But why don’t you lie down? Yeah, I’m gonna lie down here and go to sleep. Goodnight, Richie. Goodnight, James. I’m glad to be your best friend again. Maybe one day you’ll be mine. Thanks, Richie. Goodnight.
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(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
