Episode 1353 – Cat On Yarn | Tales Never Told
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to…because I saw a poster this morning and I said, huh, I’ve talked about the poster before, but we…I said, I don't know the story behind that poster. I don't mean the non-fiction version. So, tonight we’ll be talking eventually…I haven't recorded the episode, so I don't want to presume, but when I record this episode, I would like to tell the tale…another untold tale about a kitty cat walking on a rope, like walking across a rope. Very cute. Not like…you know, not balancing on a rope; walking across a rope confidently, or playing with rope or string or yarn. I guess probably the most sleepy thing — luckily this is the very beginning of the show — would be, yeah, a kitty cat and yarn. I’m gonna weave…a tale called Yarn.
I’m gonna spin a yarn? Isn't that a thing? I would guess you twist yarn, not spin. But is that…? Am I misremembering something again? Old Scoots, he’s full of yarn. He’s gonna spin us yarn again. Yarn. It sounds like something a pirate would say. I don't know when, 'cause they’d say ‘yar’ if it’s far, and yarn…I guess it would…I don't know when they’d say that, 'cause I can't think of other stuff that starts with ‘arn’. Marn, harn, yarn…I mean, just yarn. Yeah, there’s…I mean, probably there’s a lot of words that go with ‘arn’. Barn, but I mean, you wouldn't have a…I guess if you were on Noah’s ship, but I don't know if there was…anyway, I probably should start a sleep podcast, huh? If you're new, welcome to Sleep With Me, where I may be spinning yarns or saying yarn. It’s called spinning yarn or something, right?
That guy’s full of yarn. I mean, for a sleep podcaster, that’s pretty…I mean, those things kinda go well. ‘Cause you'd say, if I was covered in yarn, it’d be hard to see me and I’d be very muffled and I would be too warm, depending…I guess you’d probably say, oh, don't worry; this is high-viscosity yarn. I’d say, I think you're misusing those terms, but I know what you mean. It’s not high-viscosity yarn, but heat-transferable yarn…? Oh yeah, this is…this yarn is wicking yarn. It wicks…oh, yeah. Well, it’s not…but it’s not wool because I don't like…I get conceptually wool, but don’t need wool touching my skin. But this has moisture-wicking property…is it Coolmax yarn? No; that’s a proprietary type of thing. Oh. Okay.
Well, yeah, let’s just say…I mean, maybe people…there’s not a lot of oil commercials anymore about motor oil, anyway. There used to be on TV all the time. So…and maybe we could start using…I mean, any…I don't know if there’s any mega yarn corp, but if you're looking for a partnership, you could say…Sleep With Me; now sponsored by high-viscosity yarn. The yarn experts are like, don’t you know you want low…? There’s…if there was…if conceptually you could…you’d want low-viscosity yarn. I’d say, well, we’ll see. Who gets here first, the corporation that has high-viscosity…? I don't know. I just like saying high-viscosity yarn…covered in it. That’s why I make…that’s how I make a sleep podcast. So, anyway, if you're confused and you're new, welcome to Sleep With Me.
I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, not so much put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’ll be here for over an hour talking about barely anything, being just lighthearted and entertaining enough to take your mind off of stuff and maybe put you at ease or just maybe distract you, just like if you were to call a friend. I’m sure…maybe not currently…currently…most of the time, you don’t have a friend like me, 'cause I’m not like the character from that movie. ‘Cause you…it’s not like you've never had a friend like me. It’s just like, normally, you currently try not to have a friend like me, but in the past you probably have. You say, did you talk to Scoots? For a little while. Well, what were you guys talking about? He had a new invention called high-viscosity yarn.
I don't think he knows what any of those things are, but…and then he said he’s gonna spin me a yarn about high-viscosity yarn, and then he kept saying ‘yarn’ over and over again like a pirate. Oh, he hasn’t changed, then. I always just fall asleep with my eyes open when I’m with him. Maybe he should make a sleep…oh, he did. So, anyway, I’m glad you're here. Just give it a few tries and see how it goes if you're new. If for some reason you're already like, I don't think I like the show, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It has other sleep podcasts and sleepy audio on there. But I’m glad you're here. I work really hard. A bunch of other people do, so I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple ways we get to do it…like, the people that support the show, support the sponsors, or spread the word about the show. So, here’s where I talk about it a little more. Thanks.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind, things you're thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally whether related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, feelings that just have been lingering the whole day…feelings, you know?
Even when you don’t notice them, they're there, and they don’t…feelings; they don’t like to be ignored. At least mine don’t. Feelings; I prefer to ignore them, but they're unignorable. Is that a word, unignorable? It’s a lot of…I mean, that’s a hard one, unignorable…something. I don't know. Anyway, it could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be…work a different schedule, you could be going through something, getting over something, or in the middle of something. The only reason I go through kinda some of that stuff is so you know or you get a sense…you don’t even have to know; you get a sense you're not alone.
I realize when I say that, it kinda sounds like a direct statement, but in this case it’s actually a indirect statement, because across the world — and this is hard to believe — right now as you're listening, there’s other people listening, too, and those people are rooting for you because some of them have been through something very close to what you've been through and they can really relate to how you feel, and they're pulling for you, and that’s really the truth. Even though it’s happening…whatever. It’s kinda like parallel play, in a sense. You say, that’s…what are some of your skill sets? Parallel play. Okay, we're not hiring for parallel play at this…at Yarn Corp. Are you sure? Because Yarn Corp would seem like a perfect place for parallel play. We're hiring for work, son. Oh. Oh boy, sorry.
I mean, 'cause if you need someone to do parallel play, I’m really good…I’ve always been good at that. Okay, just silence at that job interview, too. So, what was my parallel play about? Oh, I know…I’ve had trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up, all those things. So, I know what it feels like for me, and I maybe have a pretty good sense of what it’s like for you, but I don't want to assume that I do. But I know there’s enough people out there that there’s other people that do know what it’s like for you, and they're glad you're here and they say, man, I hope this podcast can help you out like it did…it helped me. There’s no pressure for it to help you. You don’t have to like the show, or it doesn't have to work for you right away. Just try it and see how it goes. That’s all the other listeners want for you.
They say, man, maybe it helps you and then you become one of these people. That’s also like parallel play; you could be lying there as a regular listener with a barely smile on your face thinking of the other listeners that are new here and welcoming them in. That’s kinda like my idea of perfect. You say, well, they're all parallel playing, but it’s a community of parallel play. I’m sorry, that’s just not possible by any of the tech…I say, well, we're a community of parallel…the Parallel Players. They may have been on Electric Company already or something. Well, what do you do? We get together and we play separately. It’s…I’ve never been more comfortable in my life. I finally feel…peel a fart of something. Feel a part of something. I didn’t even do that on purpose, but…and that’s kinda what…that’s really what the show’s about.
If you've ever wanted that sense of belonging but in parallel, you're in the right spot. Again, if you want to go beyond that, you can. There’s communities of listeners and stuff like that, but for some of us, this is pretty sweet. You say, wait a second, I’m in a community of parallel players? Finally I somewhat belong. I’d say, that’s right, and then you don’t have to think about it again until you want to and you look around. What…? You could just look at somebody and nod or smile. It’s more of a sense. Yeah, no, then there’s optional get-togethers outside of the parallel playing. So, I don't know if that metaphor made any sense, but it’s probably the best metaphor I’ve ever made for the show. Probably with yarn…the Parallel Players. I wish I was in college or something. You’d say, what kind of performances do you do?
Well, we all do different performance…it’s kinda like a silent disco, but for plays, but it’s not silent. Okay, I’m really confused. Well, the Parallel Players…we put on plays in parallel. I’m sure this is being done somewhere. This isn't like…I mean, it’s a unique idea, but I don't think it’s…yeah, we put on…so, yeah, you put on your headphones…I don't…why would I want…? Well, I don't know why you wouldn't…at least…Parallel Players; you go to one show, but you've gone to ten. You could come ten times; you could come once when you see Parallel Players. That’d be cool; they’d just do ten…however many plays there are, you do that many…a run of that many nights. You'd say, what did you see? Anyway, I gotta get back to this sleep podcast and not explore this idea too much.
But if you're ever wondering what I’m doing twenty years from now…oh yeah, he’s the founder and lone member of the Parallel Players. He does a one-person show, but he’s pretending he’s ten different people. Parallel…he’s the only…he’s a parallel player. Okay, enough laughing at my own ridiculousness. But this is what I yearn and strive for. What I’ve found out is that it can help other people fall asleep. The thing is, you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place where you could get the rest you need so your life’s more manageable tomorrow, and I hope I could provide that. What I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.
I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I double back, then…I mean, you've…if you're listening thus far, you've seen it. But it’s all to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company. Now, most people when they get here, they don’t like the show, and it takes some getting used to. Not for everybody. Some people get it right away or it puts you to sleep right away or it puts you at ease right away. But for most people, it kinda takes some easing into because, one, if you're like me and you've had trouble sleeping your whole life, you've tried a lot of other different stuff and it hasn’t worked or it’s worked one or two times and then it stopped working.
If you're trying to get to sleep tonight right now, you're probably frustrated and not in a great mood, and that’s okay. Then you probably heard about this show or found it in a search or whatever, and you're like, what is this nonsense? I’d say, nonsense is kinda what the show is all about. I try to take something…I take the making of the show very seriously, and I believe this is all serious stuff that’s best handled with nonsense, because I’m here to put you at ease and take your mind off of stuff so you could get the sleep you need, but that takes some getting used to, 'cause you're like, when are you gonna do something relaxing and sensible? Or, I heard the show was funny. I say, no, it’s humor-like. It’s not humor. It’s humor-esque. Humor-adjacent, we call it. So, yeah, just give it a few tries. See how it goes.
If it doesn't work out, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. There’s other stuff on there that could help you out. What else do you need to know? This is a podcast you kinda just barely listen to, almost like background noise or a TV on or something you've seen over and over again or a show…you're not invested in the plot…that you're just listening to, or a out-of-frame picture or sand running through your hands, whatever it is. It’s something you just…you're like, okay, yeah, go on and on and on. I’ll barely…okay. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Then, this show is really not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here for over an hour, so you don’t have to worry about falling asleep. You don’t have to think about…when’s the show gonna end?
There’s 600 more episodes ready to go for you or to pick and choose from or whatever, because I don't want any pressure to fall asleep. I’m here to keep you company so if you can't sleep, I’m here, or that you just fall asleep barely paying attention to me or if you need a break during the day. I’m here to like…whatever’s keeping you awake, to put your attention barely over here on me, and that’s my job, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neigh-bore, your bore-buzz…your bore-buzz; your bore-bud. Got a bore-buzz right now, I guess. Your Borbie, your bores, your boreman, your Borlaf…what about Borzak? I haven't thought about that one before. That sounds like something like…tonight on Late Night with whatever, Borzak. What does he do? Nothing. He just talks nonsense.
So…your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. The only other thing you need to know — I’ll go through it really quick — is the structure of the show. The show’s structured in the way to kinda help as many people as possible, but also to be flexible. Because of the way podcasts are, it’s kinda flexible. But when you first get here, you're like, why is this structured the way it is? Again, I get that. I get that, your irritation or skepticism, 'cause I’m irritable and skeptical most of the time. That’s kinda what works about the show. Instead of being irritable and skeptical about my random thoughts, I’ve learned to be more…barely entertained by them.
But so, the show starts off with a greeting, which is really important; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something silly or goofy so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, okay, I’ll check that show out. Then there’s support, 'cause most people like listening to an ad-supported version of the show for free. The ads are what make it work so they don’t have to pay for it. If you prefer something without ads, you get that at Sleep With Me+. Then after that, separate from the support, is a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, right? The intro is not meant to put you to sleep. It’s meant to kinda take your mind off of stuff, explain what the podcast is.
I follow a familiar structure every time, but then I get…I have random, yarn-based…strands of yarn that distract me, and I kinda follow those so that the intro…I don't know, it’s like…oh, it has reassurance but a variety. I just believe that’s one of the important things about the show in addition to being about fifteen to twenty minutes long to ease you into bedtime. So, falling asleep during the intro is…some people do it, but most people that are…want…that fall asleep fast to the show, you're better off listening to Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. ‘Cause the intro is kinda like a landing strip or a wind down.
So, you could be getting ready for bed, doing a chill wind-down activity, or in bed getting comfortable…and to ease into bedtime. Then there will be some support, then there will be our bedtime story, which I think will be about yarn and cats or something, and…but I’m not sure yet 'cause I haven't told it yet, and it’ll be a random Trending Tuesday style. But I think that’s everything. I’m really glad you're here. Particularly, I want to thank you for checking this podcast out, and…yeah, couldn't do it without you. Like I said, this show is like…is a kind of community like that, particularly 'cause it’s a podcast, right?
You could be listening to this right after I put it out or years from now, but that doesn't change the fact that there is still something connecting all of us, and it’s a cool kind of connection 'cause it’s like, yeah, I’d prefer the connect…parallel-play connection. I’d say, well, you got it. That’s why I’m doing my best to build on a regular basis day after day, night after night, so we could be a part of something together. So, I really appreciate it. I really work hard. I love making this show and I love putting you to sleep and being a goofball. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we're able to sustain this for you on a regular basis. Thanks.
Alright everybody, Scoots here, and this was originally scheduled to be a…well, it still is a tale never told. Trending Tuesday Tales Never Told…how come I never thought of that as the title? It’s a little bit long and wordy for the title…the written title, but the talking title…Talking Tuesdays…Trending…Talking Trending Tuesdays…what was the other stuff I said? Tales Never Told? Talking tales that aren't told. Anyway, so, this was…I’m so grateful that I was reminded of this famous story, but I will hint that after a long intro, there will be a guest on the show who’s…hasn’t been on the show in a very, very long time. Some long-term listeners have been asking for them. If you're new, don't worry.
This is one of the cutest beings, a being associate…from…it’s a butterfly, and he does appear on Thanksgiving Day Parade episodes, the Macy’s episodes, briefly, though I don't even know…I’m trying…he’s not in the room with me just yet. He likes to make an entrance. So, I’ll talk about the tale before he arrives, and then I’ll introduce him and how he’s part of the long-term Sleep With Me and how this episode even came up. So, let’s talk about why this episode came up for me and why you might relate to it as you're falling asleep. So…well, I don't have to say ‘once upon a time’ yet, but once upon a time this week…was that this week? I guess so.
I was at one of those places…this is another reference to a old Sleep With Me episode, The Comforting Chair, where you go in and you sit in this very comfortable chair and a professional person says, hey, let me…go ahead and smile for me, and we’ll talk about smiling. But while I was in the office waiting for…when I was in the comforting chair and the chair was comforting me, another place where…even when I feel fine, people are asking me if I feel fine, or saying, are you able to relax anymore? I say, I thought I was perfectly relaxed. But I happened to be looking…so, at my comforting chair, there’s a window right in front of me with…you couldn't see…you could get sunlight from it. But to the left of the window was a iconic photo or series of photos or an iconic image, I would say, of a kitty cat.
The image is so iconic that, honestly, when I try to recall what I saw just this week in my mind, it’s…becomes an amalgamation of iconics…and I would say that this is a meme. Long before people were meming, this was a meme. I think I looked up the definition of meme, and it’s…but so, it’s a kitty cat, and normally the image is of a kitty cat crossing…doing a balancing act on a rope or a wire. I guess I’m wondering if the kitty cat is a…the kitty cat…in my mind it’s a kitty cat, so it’s very cute. You take a normal cat which you could say is cute most of the time, and then you take all the things that make a cat cute and amplify it, and that’s a kitty cat. When I say ‘kitty cat’, even, it sounds cutesy, though sometimes it may be an adult cat. But usually the cat’s on the wire and then there’s text.
Then, in this case, I have no idea what the text says, 'cause the one that’s most iconic in my mind, the cat’s saying, oh, boy. But instead of ‘oh boy’ or ‘oshkosh b’gosh’, the cat’s saying a four-letter word. But in this one, it wasn’t. It was saying, doing great, or keeping hanging on. I mean, this one, it wasn’t that. It was something like, doing great. So, I assume the cat was doing great on…balancing. I was looking at it 'cause I was just having one of those moments of like, huh, I didn’t know there was this version, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it. But I’ve seen it so many times that it’s become one thing even though it’s many things. Luckily, I don't have to…luckily, they didn’t call me after my appointment and say, would you believe it? You were in the comforting chair, right? Yes, I was.
Well, did you notice the image to the left of the window on your comforting chair of the kitty cat? I did notice it, yeah. So, it was there when you had your appointment, right? Correct. It was. Oh, great. That’s a priceless image and it’s gone now, and we don’t…we just wanted to get your…some information of what it looks like. Can you describe the cat for me…for us? I’d say, no. Why not? It’s iconic. Right; so, you should remember it, right? No, no, because it…so, I don't know. It’s maybe a kitty cat. It has fur, very cute, and maybe some grays, whites, blacks, browns, maybe some reddish…it has a tail. They’d say, thank you, sir. So, that was one experience.
But then my brain was like, oh yeah, that’s one of those tales never told that you should share with the audience, right, is that this kitty cat is…was out there for a reason…was out there for a reason, right? The cat was out on the…out…no one really talks about…what was the cat…how did the cat get there, right? It’s just the image. No one…it’s one of those things, tales never told. You say, how did that cat get there, anyway? Even the one that has…oh boy, oshkosh b’gosh or holy toledo or whatever fake one you want to put in there…the cat says, I’m not a pickle, but I’m in a pickle. You'd say, how’d that cat get there? I do just want to point out…and we’ll see…we’ll get…I guess we’ll just see how this goes, 'cause this is a Trending Tuesday style episode.
Also, I just didn’t want to say…I don't know if a butterfly can be a diva, but Bernie, by most definitions, is a diva. Even though Bernie is not the star of Sleep With Me podcast, Bernie is the star of Sleep With Me podcast. One of those things that Bernie does not…Bernie shows up when Bernie shows up for the podcast recordings. So, I don't know. Maybe…I don't know what’ll happen, but…so, let me just talk about this, 'cause this is one of the parts of the story…it’s actually a set of stories and a set of cat history. But I just want to point out that once…one particular moment was one of those…'cause I think what happened is…should I get into the whole history? Well, so, we’ll get into the history of the photographer and all that stuff, and maybe Bernie will get here; maybe Bernie won't.
But that image…one time, the cat would…could have said, I’m in a pickle, and it would have been accurate because the cat was crossing a balancing line, a rope, yarn. First of all, the cats had to be trained when…or the cats were trained to do this. That’s…spoiler. This was not captured out there in the ether, right? That’s a good thing. These were highly trained cats and kittens out there on yarn. One of the first things they had to learn…well, that was one of the first things…they said…first of all, I don't know why they didn’t…that cats are just out there balancing all the time…and that cats are really balanced. They say, this crosses from here to there. Great. Just don’t tell me to do that. So, that’s where it became…where enterprise and catdom did not necessarily meet.
They said, hey, could you cross over here while I take your picture? The cat said, no. They said, but don’t you cross over there all the time, the line over to the treehouse? ‘Cause this is with…this is what actually happened. I guess I’ll tell the story in Sleep With Me fashion. So, yeah, there was this photographer. I don't want to name names, right, because…we’ll just say his name was Scoots. With all good Sleep With Me things, it’s better if I’m the heel, right? So, once upon a time, there was a boy named Scoots who looked out the window all the time. That much is true. He did not live in a house with a treehouse. He did not have a treehouse. But sometimes he would look blocks away longingly at a treehouse in the trees. The treehouse was well constructed, very cool.
It was a place probably where there was adventures and things, where best friendships were made, first kisses were had, comics were read, CBs and tin-can phones were used. Maybe you had some experience…other kids…maybe that was where you're coming…you had your coming-of-age moments, but not your true coming-of-age moments, where…you know what I’m saying. Pure cinematic…a pure cinematic lifestyle to old Scoots when he’d look across there, that’s what he’d see. I guess I’ll say right now; maybe…'cause I don't think Bernie’s gonna show up for this episode, but this could be a cool one where Bernie maybe comments on my episode. Because I know…I just sent him a message, and usually he waits thirty minutes exactly to read my messages ‘til it turns…it says Read.
So, he’ll show up in a inopportune time. But this is good. So, we could talk about it. So…okay, so, there was Scoots, right? He would look out his window and dream of his cinematic lifestyle that he’d seen…to him it wasn’t cinematic. That’s just a term that his brain didn’t possess, but we could use it. He thought, man, if I had a treehouse, I’d have a cinematic lifestyle. But he didn’t know how…just like…moral of the story; he didn’t know how good he had it. But there’s no morals taught in these stories, anyway. Inadvertent moral of the story; still pretty good. Not all lifestyles have to be cinematic. Oh, but this is an imaginary Scoots, but he wouldn't take ‘no’ for an answer, right? At this time he would, and for most of his life he would, but…or he would say ‘yes’ when he meant ‘no’ for an answer. But he was sitting there.
This is where the seed was planted, right? He would sit there looking at that treehouse, and not only did that treehouse have a rope ladder going up to it; it had a satellite treehouse in another part of the tree. I don't know if this was a banyan tree, but I get the sense…when I say ‘banyan tree’, you know what I mean. A big, thick trunk, big, thick trunk-like branches spreading in all directions, but thick, man. Thick and branchy and smooth was this banyan tree. Oh, what a banyan. If there was a song about banyan trees, which I’m sure there is, they would have wrote…when they saw this tree, they would have written another one. If they're making a sleep podcast, they’d say, this may have been the most archetypal banyan tree that lived in my imagination.
So, not only was this tree good for one treehouse; it had a satellite treehouse that was actually designed…it was in a part of…I don't know who built this thing, but obviously some sort of craftsperson who knew what they were doing. ‘Cause the other one you could get to by…nowadays you'd pay to do this, but it had a thing with planks and then a rope you'd hold and another rope where you'd strap yourself in, because this was…you know, staying…keeping good care first. So, there’s two lines above and then a plank bridge or…yeah, that you could cross over to the satellite one and look at the stars and stuff, because above it was a opening in the banyan tree. The banyan knew that children would be up here and they’d be looking at the stars and stuff. Now, this banyan tree…why’d Scoots never go there?
Well, one, he had already developed…he wasn’t exactly hanging out with all these kids of his own age or other ages. But two, this banyan tree was behind a tall, tall thing, and it was one of those buildings…I don't know. It was a place where kids lived and went to school, and I think kids that…they could become kids…I don't know if it was…Charles Xavier was running this place, but it was for kids like that, where they said, oh boy, you're a super kid. I don't know if you have superpowers, but to us you're a super kid. We're gonna give you access to all these things to help make you curious about the world and engage with the world.
Now, what’s interesting is…inadvertently happened…there was spillover over this big…it was not a fence; it was a wall, this big, thick wall, because this banyan wouldn't be denied the view of the children of the area. So, anyway, picture a young boy longingly looking at a banyan tree and treehouse and a satellite treehouse and also a zipline that ran from the building to the tree…to below the treehouse to some sort of pillowy entrance. I guess you'd say landing pad, right? But not all the time were kids in this treehouse, and probably if he was watching when the kids were in the treehouse…well, I know him pretty well, I think. Sometimes he’d watch with a furrowed brow thinking of…not well of the kids that were enjoying it with glee.
But I’m sure other times when the light in the sky was just right and the air was just the right amount of thickness to put him at ease and to put him in that state, he’d look out and watch it with…not longing and not curiosity, but wonder, knowing these children were living in their own worlds and having their own adventures…that he was only aware of it happening. There was some kind of magic there for him just knowing that was going on not that far away. But sometimes his humanity would get in the way of the magic, as has been known to happen. So, long version short, there was a kid looking out his window all the time at a treehouse, super awesome treehouse, but the treehouse had a bunch of lines. Now, these lines or ropes and wire…I think…what is that thing called?
A zipline runs on some sort of cable, even…these were used by forest friends. This was a area that had chipmunks and squirrels and kitty cats and cats, and I think that’s…and birds, of course. All of them…well, here’s a thing; I don't know if I’ve ever seen…I don't know if…not necessarily that any of the squirrels or chipmunks lived in the banyan tree, 'cause I don't want to make a judgment on banyan trees, but I’ve never seen…I’m not aware of…it’s not that…I’m not…banyan trees, I’m not saying you're not hospitable. Alls I’m saying is your archetypal versions in my mind don’t have any homes of forest friends, probably 'cause you're so vibrant that they just conduct…you're more of a marketplace, right, versus a residential area. I don't know, do you get that…?
You're what the Epcot Center was meant to be, minus the housing, I guess. So, you're like, yeah, I’m a regular Epcot Center. I’d say, okay, I get that. There’s housing nearby for these chipmunks and squirrels and birds, but you’re a tree…your tree is for childhood adventures. I don't know why. It just stuck out to me. But so…okay, so, the lines…the ropes and the wires of the treehouse…and not just that; of the house and the big building nearby, the school for super-duper kids, school and residence for kids that…kids that are amazed…and Scoots would say, what about me? I’m amazed by the school for kids that are…I’m amazed.
But they said, don't worry, you're…you'll be indirectly positively impacted by our school, except for this story, which is a somewhat-positive impact with a very long setup of him just looking out there. But he would see the birds sitting on the lines, making small talk or…I don't know what they were doing. Maybe they were making mating noises. Sometimes…he didn’t know it, but he’d see squirrels chasing each other, or chipmunks, and he thought they were playing around or maybe being competitive. But he didn’t know it was the season of love up there. He didn’t even know about that song, but…that they were chasing each other. I don't know, maybe the banyan tree said, yeah, I got that covered, too.
They don’t live here, but oh boy, does nature take its course in these…in the nooks and crannies of this banyan tree when it comes to these small forest friends. So, TMI…banyan tree, TMI. By the way, good stopper…I don't need to know about birds…any other…it’s like, I’m not giving you a TMI. I’m just telling you what’s happening here. Okay, let’s just agree to try to move on. I’m sorry; it’s…you're the one that’s unable to move on. The lucky thing is that I’m so sturdy, you don’t have to say, don’t come a-climbing when this banyan’s…'cause I’m not rocking. But any of that…but this boy that was observing, he had no idea about any of that. He just knew that he would see them crossing on these lines, and the cats and things. Little did he know, a seed was being planted.
Now…or maybe multiple seeds because, one…let’s just do a little armchair analysis, eh? One, he was a little bit wishing he was one of the kids that were amazed or amazed, both on the surface level and the other level. Then he was watching these things and saying, well, they're pretty cute. I don't know if you've ever just watched stuff. It’s pretty soothing. But you don’t know it’s soothing at the time, or at least I don’t. Then you look back with nostalgia and say, man, remember when that felt good? I was just staring out the window doing nothing. That was good, man. So, that’s another seed that was planted, maybe that was harvest on a sleep podcast.
But there was also the idea that…of the other things he was watching when he was calm, the kids, and there was also that longing for the cinematic lifestyle and what he thought existed below that that would have made him…whatever he was searching for, something he thought he needed but he didn’t necessarily need right below that cinematic lifestyle, something physical, emotional, intellectual. But he thought it was…would be provided by that cinematic lifestyle. So, he…those were the seeds that were planted. One day he eventually moved out of that house, moved away from that…any town anywhere…kids are amazing. Actually, he even forgot about the treehouse for a while and a lot of different things.
In this particular world, there’s one piece of truth in here that…but didn’t necessarily hold true for this version of Scoots but held true for this one; he had the same teacher as me, the same teacher…art teacher named Joselle. Teacher Joselle said to him one day…so, he was big on creating art…names for pieces of art that he would make for our class, and he was a little bit better at naming the pieces of art than making art himself, just 'cause that wasn’t a skill he had. But Teacher Joselle said, hey, what if…? I teach photography. You should take my photography class, and you could learn photography. Maybe you have an eye for things. That’s where the title of…where you're good at making up titles for things that are a little bit messy…but you could see something there that we can't see.
This particular kid, he listened to her and he said, okay. So, he…and I think this kid, he had a little bit tighter attachment to this cinematic lifestyle. He was driven to get it. He was driven to get it, that it would fix it all. Oh boy, if I get this cinematic lifestyle, it’s gonna fix everything, right? So, he was willing to chase after it a little bit more than some of the rest of us, maybe. So, what happened was he took that class and he started to learn photography and developing film and whatever, stuff you need to know. What do they call it? Image composition. Oh boy, did he understand focal length a lot better than I do, and aperture and iso, and he was able to bridge the gap between film and digital. But somewhere along the way, the…he liked taking pictures of just stuff.
When you run across the same people that comment about your sleep habits that don’t know what it’s like to not be able to fall asleep, the people kinda that give advice, right, that…about sleep, and they say, you're doing it wrong…he kinda encountered some of those people. He was out there taking pictures of things and things standing. The hard thing is…and who knows if this was what was said to him or just what he heard, right? ‘Cause some of it ended up serving him well and some of them didn’t…some of it did not help him. But it was more the tone that didn’t help him that he thought he heard. Maybe it was what he heard of maybe it wasn’t, but that it was like, you're doing it wrong. Nobody wants pictures of just birds doing nothing. The picture’s gotta be about something, son.
These are just…I could go outside my house and see a bird on a wire. Why would I want to look at a picture of a bird you took? Now, who knows if this person was actually trying to be helpful or they just…they're like…they had a lot to say about everything. But there was some truth in that that young Scoots was able to…first he took it the harsh way; well, maybe I’m just not cut out for taking pictures of nothing. But he thought it was something. Maybe this person said, huh, maybe you do need some sort of…something extra, some sort of factor. But there was also this misinterpretation of what he thought would make everything go great for him.
So, this kinda…this was what kinda set everything in motion, was…he said, well, I love taking pictures of stuff…now, he didn’t realize it at the time, but he started to realize…well, I like taking pictures of stuff above me. Then he kinda said, or that are up high and I’m up high with them, like from a second-story roof across to a tree or whatever. So, he said, okay, I like doing that, and I think I’m pretty…technically I’ve got some of the skills I need, but…I have good tech skills or whatever. You know what I mean. So, he said, man, I hope I could get…I think this taking-pictures thing is my thing, and I think I could force my way into what everybody’s saying. He kinda had some scorn or whatever for the person that he thought gave him this advice, but he was driven by his desire for a cinematic lifestyle and by scorn.
Interestingly enough, that’s what he used…he wanted to become…I guess he mistakenly…he thought by taking pictures of squirrels and stuff, he could become a photographer with only one name. The name he chose for himself was Scorn. It ended up being his company or whatever, but…just interesting that it didn’t…I mean, it’s like, who’s taking your pictures today? Scorn. Oh boy, I don't…I thought we were doing…today’s photoshoot was supposed to be all smiles. You got Scorn coming in? Yeah. Or like, back…this is just jumping to the eighties or the…okay, so, who’s taking pictures of Julia Roberts? Scorn is. No, no, no, Scorn can't work with…it’s just…that’s oil and water there. You're gonna have to bring somebody else in. Okay, well, what…Scorn needs work, though. Who else do we…? Pee-wee Herman?
No. I don't know. We’ll have to get back to him. There’s a glacier that somebody needs pictures of, but he’s not so good at glacier pictures. So…what about for the zoo photoshoot? He loves taking…Scorn? You want Scorn…somebody named Scorn going around a zoo taking pictures? But whatever; he thought that name was…he liked the name Scorn, and I kinda like saying it, so I gotta agree with him. I could see in another world, if he was good at celebrity photos, he’d say, oh yeah, well, we're looking for Julia Roberts’ next look. Who better than Scorn? Who better…? Oh, this isn't just about all smiles. It’s like an absurdist photoshoot. So, who better than Scorn? But that’s a different Scorn for a different day.
So, okay, so, now at least…now it’s less about me, 'cause we’ve fully entered other timelines where Scorn…so, Scorn had an idea that…okay, I like taking pictures of stuff up above or up high, mostly during the day, and normally forest friends. I like them to be in the pictures. He did try out taking pictures of other…of people’s pets and stuff, but that was not sustainable business, not like it is today. But even today, it’s more of like, come into a studio and do it versus capturing casual…'cause people would be like, I could just do that myself. I want my cat dressed up like a Muppet in my lap where I’m dressed up like a cat. You say, well, I’m Scorn. You think I can do photoshoots…? Wait a second, I’m sorry, could you repeat the whole thing again? No.
I got plenty of other options. So, he missed the whole pictures-with-people’s…paid-pet-pictures thing, which is a thing nowadays, but Scorn missed out on that. So…but he did try it, at least. He said, I could take pictures of your cat in a tree or whatever. They said, I don't want my cat in a tree. Your cat spends half the day in a tree. Well, thanks for telling me. Now that’s all…okay, well…so, that’s why the pet photos didn’t work. But he knew this was his thing, and that’s a lot to say for somebody, even when they're on…maybe you're on the right quest, the wrong trail, or right trail, wrong quest, or you're in the vicinity. He was in the vicinity of where he needed to be. He didn’t know that, even, but he was. So, he…so, he was struggling, right, and he was pushing too hard.
Obviously changing your name to Scorn, that’s probably a sign, and then trying to take pet pictures…aggressive pet picture pitches don’t work. Then also self-fulfilling stuff…so, he started printing…doing his own prints and then bringing them to farmers’ markets and art fairs. But usually that’s the feedback. Yeah, occasionally he’d get a customer. So, it wasn’t like he gave up hope, but they…well, I’ll just get to the big moment in a second. But most of the time someone would like it or they’d be like, oh, that’s good for my bathroom. I’ll tell you what; maybe nowadays it has a different thing, but probably don’t…unless their art is clearly for the bathroom, don’t tell somebody, I’m gonna put this in my bathroom, right above my toilet. But that was the most common thing he got.
He did sell one that ended up getting reprinted, and luckily the person was on…that worked for a hotel, and they said, yeah, okay. It didn’t…it made him enough money to keep going and keep doing it and keep going to these fairs for a while while he was still taking pictures and improving. But he was still feeling like he…I mean, I guess you have to be a little bit out there and unrealistic, right, to succeed in this kind of stuff. He thought he deserved to succeed as a photographer, and he thought…again, I guess the only difference was he didn’t realize he was just already on the right way versus trying to force his way through things. But who knows? ‘Cause it worked out for him, just not in the way…but so, at this one particular fair, he had already sold four things for people’s bathrooms.
So, he was feeling pretty good because he had sold it. Somebody came in and they saw a picture of his that had a bird on a tree right by a really shiny skyscraper. It was one of his particular favorites, but more because he thought that you could…there wasn’t really a way to tell that he was on another building that was really close to the skyscraper. It just kinda looked like the bird…it kinda seemed like defying…you had no idea how high up the skyscraper was or the tree or whatever. So, he kinda thought it was thrilling. At this time, he was like, this is gonna be in every stockbroker’s flashy apartment. If Gordon Gekko had a thirty-foot photo of a bird, this would be it. I guess if you met him, Scorn, at a party, if I did, I’d probably just give him a hug because I say, bro…different…same story, different words, you know?
So, I get it, man. So, someone came pretty close to the end of this art-and-wine fair type thing, and they said, man, how much…? He said, whatever, eighty, or what…I don't know, two hundred? I have no idea. The person…oh, I’ll take it, man. This is the coolest thing I ever saw. Then Scorn was like, yeah, well, what do you like about it? I’ll wrap it up for you. They said, well, before you wrap…I can't believe you caught that on camera. Scorn said, what do you mean? The person said, well, look; if you look…so, there’s a reflect…you're on the top of that building, right? Scorn said, yeah, yeah, yeah. They said, yeah, and so, you got the bird and the sky…reflective skyscraper, and the person slipping…when they're getting out of the tub…look; their mouth’s open. They're grabbing the thing. It’s hilarious.
It’s almost like a comic strip or something. It’s such a contrast between…everything else is so stoic. You got that…what a lucky shot. Scorn was like…Scorn had no idea that someone was slipping and sliding. Of course, they checked the records; the person ended up…they were fine. But so, they sold that picture, and that was the next thing they remembered forever, right, was that…wait a second, okay, there’s something about that. So, then Scorn kept trying to catch people in casual situations. But then Scorn was like, I don't like taking pictures of people and I don't like taking pictures of level ground. So, then Scorn was like, if I watch squirrels or cats or whatever enough, maybe I could get their pictures doing stuff like that.
Occasionally Scorn…it was just really tough because you'd have to take…even…this was before the digital era. Now it might be a little bit different, but even when you're holding down that button, it’s click, click, click, and you're at the US Open or Wimbleton or whatever…it would be hard to get…'cause those are just all well-balanced things. Then one other thing Scorn did was…just happened to be around the same time, there was this exploration…was to go see some trained shows of like, professional performing animals. These ones were unionized, so they had it…it was a good situation. Scorn said, wow, those are really…then Scorn said, wait a second, what if I could train animals to make photos that looked like they were impromptu catches?
You wouldn't believe the kind of…first of all, to become a trainer, the kind of training you have to undergo…there’s a very niche thing. So, Scorn…well, Scorn did get some basic certifications in animal training and training animals for performance and stuff like that. Of course, humane and ethical ways to do it. Scorn was like, there’s not a lot of people training…it’s not like you could…a lot of this is institutional…institutional knowledge is the wrong thing, but people that train animal…Scorn was not in LA. So, access to people with that kind of knowledge, particularly now…at this time when this photo was taken, the one we're talking about, that there was…and that’s the reason why. There wasn’t just one photo.
But there wasn’t a lot of ways of like, training this type of performance…whatever, I don't know, cat…natural cat movement, natural cat motivation, you know? But Scorn at some point was like, okay, I want to get that…remembered the treehouse. You say, holy rosebud. But with ten minutes left in the story? You say, yeah, a treehouse popped in his mind, and he said, okay, yeah, there’s a lot of movement. I wonder if I remember anybody ever not having to catch their balance on that. But that was kinda thrilling. So, Scorn started with yarn on the ground. At some point…it was like, okay, we're gonna do cats. Then it was like, okay, eventually I went to kittens because it turns out, in an imaginary animal, a cat-training situation, if you’re training the cat while there’s kittens, the kittens will learn.
I think this is only imaginary, and that’s why this tale’s never been told before. But so, it took a while because the cats were used to playing with yarn for Scorn to use the right kind of, whatever, motivating and loving and kind words and probably some sort of…telling the cat, you don’t want a treat. You don’t want to go over this. Probably doing that. You probably just want to take a bath or whatever, give yourself a bath. The cats are like, I see through everything you do, Scorn. Don’t waste my time. But eventually Scorn got good at that and eventually was able to get the cats to cross a piece of yarn on the floor. Then it was like, not…then it was a line drawn on the floor, then it was a rope on the floor, then it was a piece of rope just one inch off the floor.
Meanwhile, the cats were like, dude, when you're not looking, we're doing the stuff like…what, are you kidding me? I could jump from one line to the other if I wanted to, especially if I saw somebody…the cat that caught my eye or whatever or somebody looking through my stuff, my cat stuff. But more and more this training went on until eventually…and then the other lesson that they had learned with their…what is that called? Shot composition, maybe? It wasn’t just like…it had to be the framing, right? It had to look like that skyscraper image. It had to look like…and playing with focus and I guess maybe…ND filters, even, but I don't even know. Whatever; I guess you say, oh boy, I need a flat 40 for that. I need a pancake lens for that. Scorn would say, what, are you just throwing words you barely…? I say, you got it, buddy.
Say, give me a half 1.4 for this one. We’ll never weigh in on if nowadays they shoot Canon or Sony, because…the people that use each one of those know which one, obviously. They know. So, what happened, right? Eventually this training went on and on and on, and all this came together. But also, the thing that came together…well, there was the desperation, right, of like, I gotta get this. If I could get this right…but it ended up taking probably billion…I mean, not billions of photographs, but millions. Then the idea of like, the other thing of that essence. At first it wasn’t any…it was, whatever, that moment in time. But even then, it was like…people were like, I don't know, that’s cute and stuff but, whatever, a cat looks like it’s rope-climbing or whatever.
It wasn’t quite there until, again, at one of these fairs they were packing up and someone that had too much to smoke or drink who was…had a big mouth who was trying to impress their date and had to comment on every booth and every piece of art from here to the end of the street, they saw that kitty cat hanging…just…oh, is it ‘Just hanging out’? Maybe that’s what it says. But they said…when they saw it, they said, oh boy, oshkosh…but they may have used another word. At first Scorn was like…whipped around, that something had gotten knocked over or whatever. The person was like, pointing at the kitty cat, saying that over and over again.
That’s how that tagline got placed there and became…I mean, imaginarily became iconic, was that…then they started selling it like that, and soon megaposter.com…Posters, Posters…I don't know if it was Posters, Posters, Posters or it was the World of Posters…there used to be…back in the day, there was many poster stores in the mall. But once Big Poster…this was the right time…the right image at the right time. There was even Vanilla Posters…so, that was where it was Just Hanging Out or Catch Me If You Can. Then the image would…ended up in Valentines. I don't know. Come fly with me? I don't know what the Valentine said. But I do know what the images said 'cause they're still in my mind.
But the thing was that they knew…Scorn knew it wasn’t just one cat, right, or one kitty. So, they took multiple cat photos of this and made multiple ones, and that’s why I couldn't remember. I say, well, I’m not sure it was…I don't even know what a tabby cat would look like, to be honest with you. So, that’s the tale never told of the person behind the photos. Now, you say, well, what about…? I say, well, that was just the beginning. The rest of it’s really boring, but it ends up for Scorn…that didn’t bring health, wealth, and happiness.
Or, it did bring financial…some financial security, but Scorn was looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place at the right…so, eventually they find their way and just realize…I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. That’s the thing with tales never told. I lost track of Scorn after that. But somewhere out there, if there’s…someone’s using some sort of reverse…maybe that’s what…they said, positive reverse-psychology on trained cats and…positive…to train performing cats. So, yeah. That’s that tale, a tale never told about cats on yarn. I hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
