Episode 1484 – Sundries Supervisor Storytime | Checking Into Boredom Ep 7 Finale
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time to check into boredom. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep. Now, if you're new to the show, welcome. We put you to sleep by keeping you company, bringing you sleepy joy and delight, or trying to, striving to do that, maybe not getting there, but maybe offering you a friendly voice and some distraction in the deep, dark night. This is a show that just takes your mind off of stuff and is there for you and then you fall asleep, I guess. So, it does take some getting used to. Give it a few tries if you're new. I’ll explain everything in a long, meandering way coming up in the intro. But this podcast is here to be your friend in the deep, dark night. What we got coming up is support so that paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime.
If you find you don't like the intros, we have a totally separate podcast with just stories called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. But most people like this getting eased into bedtime, hanging out. Then later on we’ll have our episodically modular series, which means you can listen to it in any order, Checking Into Boredom, about a hotel bedtime storyteller. All told, we’ll be here a bit over an hour, and I really hope I can help you out if you're having trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, or whatever’s…whatever brought you here. If I can't help, I hope I can introduce you to something that can, and I’ll do that in a bit, too. But I’m really glad you're here. So, hopefully you’ll at least feel seen and welcomed by someone else whose sleep is…while it is my favorite thing, it’s a tough thing to acquire. I can't…I guess I can't acquire it at all…that you're understood here and welcome.
So, I’m glad you're here if you're new. If you're one of those listeners that comes to the show when you need it, I’m hoping I could keep helping you out. If you're a regular listener, a super listener, you're here night after night after night, I’d love you to be a part of this thing so we could keep doing it night after night, year after year. So, if you are a super listener and you want to feel super, you could either let somebody know about the podcast — maybe you already do that; maybe you already support the show — or you say, I’d like to feel super right now and then get sleepy; you could check out one of these sponsors or support the show directly. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, like things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that just keep coming up. My thoughts, they do keep coming up. They're like…I don't know if Willy Wonka ever…here's a question; did Willy Wonka ever get into the beverage business? I mean, I know he had the Fizzy Lifting Drink, but that was only in the experimental stages, right? But…'cause he had the Never…Everlast…Neverending Gobstopper? No, it was the Everlasting Gobstopper. But what about…? I mean, here's a proposal, Willy Wonka. I guess Charlie, right?
Or, who’s…? Maybe Charlene is in charge of it now. Let’s just say Charlene now runs the chocolate factory. What do you think about using my thoughts for some sort of everlasting fizzy drink? Maybe…that tastes good. Maybe it’s just, you know, some sort of water, sparkling water. I drink a lot of that, and I love good flavors, and I trust…I mean, you've got a lot going on. I can only imagine the taste buds on those oompa-loompas. Is this a introduction to a sleep podcast? Well, I was just thinking about my thoughts. They do feel everlasting like those gobstoppers, and if they're always bub, bub, bubbling up, maybe you could make good use of them. I do put them to use in this podcast. So, just a proposal, Charlie, Willy, Charlene, whoever may be running the imaginary Wonka…the Wonka within me. There you go, another chapter. Gingerbread Press…stories that never come…Gingerbread Press; stories that are never…we never publish anything. It’s my own inprint within me.
The Willy…what did I say? The Willy Wonka Within Me? Chapter 27. I was staring at the gobstopper and imagining what Willy might say to me. Could I handle it as Charlie did or Charlene did? Charlotte did? Cheryl did? Or what would I do? How often did Charlie…I mean…or Willy or Charlene…? Was it a roll-top desk? When Willy left the office, did he close the roll-top? Anyway, back to reality. Sorry, that was a little…I fugue-stated there. I went right…that was the first time we came close to publishing a chapter of my imaginary autobiography. So…okay, so it could be thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally related to those thoughts. Oh boy, did I have them last night, and they…but they weren't…they were just baffling ones, like where I was kind of asleep and my feelings were processing stuff that I’m not even quite sure…other than it was getting in the way of me having a restful sleep.
So, it could be feelings, it could be physical sensations, it could be thoughts and feelings related to those physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, circumstances. Like, I’m sleeping in two different places right now, I mean…and it’s tough getting a consistent rest. Yeah. It could be…you could work a different schedule, you could be going through something, in the middle of something, getting over something, or it could be something else. Whatever it is that brought you here, whatever it is that brings you back, whatever it is that made you search for a sleep podcast, I am glad you're here and I hope I can help. You're the most important part about this podcast, you. Yeah, no, you. I’m not kidding. Really, you. You. You took the leap to check the show out or you keep coming back or you go to the show when you need it. I don't know if you could feel…that welcomeness is real, and it’s not just shared by me.
There’s people around the world right now that hope you feel a part of something, that hope you feel welcome and understood, that hope you feel indirectly included. Like, what could be better? A sense of belonging with very low pressure. That’s what I always wanted my whole life, and I found it here in another place that I never expected I would, either, which is not…the Not-Drinking Club. But this place is different because it’s scattered around, and there’s no pressure. You could just be there lying in bed doing your wind-down routine and think fondly of someone else who’s either struggled like…with sleep like you have or struggled with sleep in a totally different way and send them some kindness, root for them to get the sleep they need and they deserve. But you don't even have to do that. You could just receive it. There’s people rooting for you across the world right now that get it, and that’s what’s really special about the show, is you and the other listeners and this sense of connectedness we have, indirect connectedness.
It’s not flashy. It doesn't…I mean, as far as I know…I've never gotten a Fizzy Lifting Drink, but that’s fine. Again, I wouldn't want Willy to be upset with me. So, I would have…I said…I would have probably…you know. So anyway, enough about me, 'cause this is about you. I’m glad you're here. That’s…and that’s what I mean when I’m glad you're here. The only reason I run through some of the stuff is so maybe you get a sense you could relax a little bit more, breathe a little bit more, that your shoulders could dip down a little bit more, that you could get comfortable. You don't need to. You could just check it out and see what it’s like and know that there’s other people thinking fondly of you and that you can give and receive that or just be aware that it’s out there, so that you get the rest you need on a regular basis so your life could be better tomorrow, that you no longer have to dread bedtime, that it could be something you look forward to or at least feel neutral about.
If this show could be a part of that bedtime routine or wind-down routine…or I could just let you know that that’s important and introduce you to something else that can. I’m happy to do whatever it is, 'cause I’ve been there. I was there last night and this morning. So, this pod…that’s why this podcast is so important to me. You're important to me. If you're flourishing in the world, our entire world is a better place to be in. We need you in this world. Even if your day’s a little bit better tomorrow, our world’s a better world tomorrow. So…and it doesn't have to be. Tomorrow you could have a rough day…I mean, or not be at your best. That’s fine. I’ve not been at my best for however many 365s I’ve been around. One time Tina Turner…I said, Tina, can I get…can I run something by you? Is it okay if I’m simply not…? You're simply…and she said, yeah, I know, that’s what I meant. She was like, I was…that’s…it’s called a song for…I said, oh. She’s like, I wanted to make you feel something.
It’s not…my song…Tina did say this to me, that my songs are not a practical device. So, please stop dancing for me. You're not my dancer. I said, oh, okay. So, does your…? She said, well, some of my songs do…but she said, yeah, no, it’s not…that song is not practical advice. So, she goes, and actually, I’m not even Tina Turner. I’m just visiting…I'm just trying to get to this…I'm on the VIP Wonka Tour. You're only imagining you're here. Okay, I’ll just remove myself then. Thanks, Tina. Great speaking with you. Okay, so, wow, we’ve had a lot of tangents here, but I hope I can help you out. Now, the show is very different. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then…I mean, we’ve had a bunch of…I think we’ve had both pointless meanders and superfluous tangents, and they just come up and I follow them where they go.
This is a part of my life where I can be…at bedtime it’s tougher for me to be this open with my thoughts. Plus, they're not quite as cute as…they're not like Wonka-y or Tina Turner-y. They’re more…they're not…I prefer not to have my thoughts and feelings at bedtime. I try. I try to be loving and kind like I learned on this podcast, but they're not this cute. So, what was I saying? Oh, thoughts…oh, this show…my voice is not traditionally soothing, and this show just isn't for everybody. It’s only for people that it works for, and it…but it does take some tries to get used to it and see if it works for you, because it is so different. So, whatever it is…if you found the show through a search or a recommendation or you just stumbled upon it, I’m glad you did find it. Alls I can tell you is over the history of the show, which has been around for some time now, people have said, hey, it took two or three tries to get used to this show. So, just see what happens. See how it goes.
If it doesn't work out, I have a website set up; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. Or if you're in a group, which is common, too, where you're already like, this is not gonna work for me, I mean, I would say give it a few tries anyway, but you don't have to. You don't have to like me or the show. It doesn't have to be a fit, and if it’s not, you could just go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou right now. Or if you don't like the structure of the show or anything like that, it’s fine. There’s other…I have other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there, 'cause I still want you to get the rest you need that works for you. So, just see what happens, 'cause when you checked the show out, you probably had some reasonable expectation of what a sleep podcast would be, but you also…if you're like me and a lot of the other listeners, you tried tons of different stuff your whole life, or maybe just with this situation.
Maybe this sleeplessness is just this current stage of your life or this current thing coming up, and you're desperate for sleep and you want something that works, and that comes with a lot of skepticism and frustration in my experience of trying stuff that doesn't work or paying a lot of money or trying something that works for a night or two. Then you say, why isn't it working tonight? That’s kinda what happened to me last night, and then I fell into a deep sleep, and then a thunderstorm came. The thunderstorm was kinda nice, except it was one of my first thunderstorms here where I was like, huh, I didn't realize thunderstorms could keep you up. I didn't even look at what time it was. I’m guessing it was somewhere…3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. But it was kinda nice, and I did fall back asleep. So, give the show a few tries. See how it goes, but you don't have to. You could go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou right now, too.
I just want to help you out if I can, 'cause what happens is on the second or third try for the listeners this show works for, or some people on the first try, they say, oh, I was looking for this my whole life. I had no idea someone would make something like this or that something like this existed. But yeah, this is a podcast you don't really listen to. It’s like a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow, sand passing through your hands, a out-of-focus picture, maybe a audiobook you're not paying attention to or a radio show or a podcast you've repurposed or a sporting event or something that’s…just gives you enough presence and distraction so you could feel at ease. It’s like wind in the trees or clouds in the sky, a seminar or a professor or presentation that you can't quite stay awake for or a friend who…you say, can you talk to me? Can you tell me a story? I can't…I just need somebody there for me.
I can't sleep but I want to sleep, and you tend to go on and on about those imaginary conversations you have with Tina Turner and Willy Wonka, Charlie…is Charlie Buckets…is it Charlene Buckets or is this…Charlene somebody else? How come you've never talked to Veruca Salt before? She wouldn't…that’s easy; she wouldn't speak to me. Okay, that makes sense. That totally took everything off the rails. It was like the most common-sense moment. My brain’s just like, you really asking that question? She would not give you the time of day, or her father or anyone in her employ. In fact, in the city states she now controls, you're…Sleep With Me is banned. Oh, interesting. Great. Okay, so…sorry, sometimes some things just barely entertain me, too, like a friend. You say, you're barely funny. I know you laugh at your own jokes…well, it wasn't a joke. It was actually the closest thing to the truth I’ve spoken today. It was just so clear. I said, how long you been holding for Veruca Salt? Quite some time.
I don't know, since…I think the movie came out before I even was in existence. Okay, keep…stay on hold. She may get back…she won't get back to you, but she likes the idea you're on hold for her and her…it’s not even her anymore; it’s her…okay. Well, anyway. So, yeah, that’s what the show’s do…here to do, is to be like a background noise that you could listen to. So, just see how it goes, a podcast you don't really listen to but you could listen, because this is a sleep podcast where there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here over an hour. There’s people listening — maybe that’s you — that can't sleep at all, who need a break during the day, who need something to listen to at work, who wake up in the middle of the night, who maybe listen to episode after episode after episode, and I’m here for them and for you to the very end whether you're awake or asleep, whether you're listening or not. There’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m here to hang with you because my job is not to put you to sleep.
It’s to be your friend in the deep, dark night, your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your borebie, your boreman, your borer, your boreman…I think I said boreman. Your neighbore, your borebie…I've said a couple twice…your Barbra Borestrand, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your Boris Borelaf, your bore-cuz, your best bore-friend f’eva. I’m here to apply to be your bore…best bore-friend f’eva or bore-bae or whatever. I don't expect…say, he’d maybe qualify for Big Borebowski. More like…you're more like a bit of a Borebowski. I say, okay, I’ll take that. So yeah, that’s what I’m here to do, is just keep you company, take your mind off of stuff, distract you from whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, to misdirect your attention to something outside. Tonight it’ll be Checking Into Boredom. So yeah, just see what happens. Having a bore-friend can be nice if it works for you. The last thing I like to run through in these intros is the structure of the show.
It can really throw new listeners off to the point of real…that’s why I have…that’s why I set up sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, 'cause we do have a specific reason we structure the show the way we do. It is adjustable if you become a regular listener and you develop preferences. But this particular version of the show benefits the maximum amount of people it can, and that’s why we structure the show the way we do based on feedback over the years and seeing what works for people. This show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed. Then there’s some support, then there’s a long, meandering intro totally separate from the support. It’s a show within a show. The intro is meant to ease you into bedtime. That’s why it’s like twenty, twenty-two minutes. But it also introduces what the podcast is in a familiar way, but every intro is new so that whatever is keeping you awake has something new every single night, too, to take your mind off of stuff.
For me, repetition never worked, but having something reassuring and familiar did. So, that’s what I try to do with the intro, but then it takes fifteen to twenty minutes so it could be part of your wind down. This version of the podcast is not designed for people that fall asleep fast. The intro is meant to be a buffer between being awake and asleep. If you become a regular listener and you find, I don't like the intros, I do fall asleep fast, either consider supporting the show directly so we can be around, or if you just don't like the intros, you could check out Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. Those are stories from the show that don’t have the intros. But yeah, the intro kinda is like fifteen to twenty minutes so you could be getting ready for bed, in bed getting comfortable, or chilling out, winding down, doing something relaxing, doing something soothing, looking out the window, petting your pets, doodling, hooking, knitting, drawing, just lying on the floor; that’s a big one.
Foam-rolling; I don't recommend that even though that’s one of the things that’s part of my wind-down routine. Definitely don't recommend it, but it’s part of mine. But you find those things, and this intro can be the fun time when you find those things that work for you, and you know it’s kinda like a sleepover where everybody else is getting ready and easing into bedtime, and we're together. It’s kinda like that sense of relief after the sleepover peaks. So, that’s why the intro goes on and on. That’s why there’s support. Then after the intro will be some support, and then we’ll have our bedtime story, Checking Into Boredom. All told, I’ll be here a bit over an hour, and I really am glad you're here. I really work hard. So do a team of people. We yearn and strive to bring you comfort and relief, sleepy joy and delight, so you could get the rest you need so your life is better.
If we can't do that, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. But I hope we can do it for you. If you want to be a part of us doing that, like you share those desires and those desires have impacted your life on a regular basis, if you could consider spreading the word, letting somebody know about the podcast, or supporting the show directly or checking these sponsors out, it’d make a huge difference, you being a part of this so it can be here well into the future. Thanks so much.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. Welcome to our episodically modular series, Checking Into Boredom. Episodically modular means you can listen to these episodes in any order. I might have said this last…this may be the last episode of the season, but we’ll probably have a look-back episode as well. But you could listen to these in any order. This episode, they're gonna catch you up on everything you need to know. If you're a completist, you could always listen to it during the day in order if you want to, but we make them as episodically modular as we can. But this series is about a bedtime storyteller who works for a hotel telling bedtime stories. You know who I love telling bedtime stories in front of is our…he comes all the way on — I forgot what I said last episode that was correct — stored renewable energy, I believe, but I’m hoping…I would like to have him come all the way here on just geothermal.
Like, if there was geothermal jets or a personal jet pack running on…and he says, Scooter, that’s just not possible. But we about some sort of steam tube? He’s…you know, when you think about…he’s not the opposite of a steam P-U-N-K, but he’s like…he’s steamy, man. Looking at him right now, holy cow. Sometimes I could get another kind of steamy when I…'cause I say, you said…are you causing my plants to make…? My plants are making a noise. He says, I don't know what you're talking about. I say, I think my plants are getting steamy just being in your presence, which makes me another kind of steamy, 'cause I do need full silence, Antonio. But he comes all the way here from the Greater Los Angeles Area, our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time to check into boredom. Ba-bing. Yeah. Holy cow, if that’s the last episode of the season, that just took my breath away. Wow. That’s why you are our Hollywood Area…I mean, you are the greatest of the Greater Los Angeles Area of all, outside and inside of me. So, thank you. That’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Checking Into Boredom.
Hey everybody, this is your announcer…narrator. I just follow the announcer. This is Checking Into Boredom, and I’m your narrator for this story. This is a series about a series of hotels called The Hotel scattered around the globe. I guess not scattered; intentionally constructed and built around the world. Our tales involve one bedtime storyteller known as Sir Cadian, Noir Chardonnay, Tangerine Tangent, maybe even by Dearest Scooter. He works for The Hotel telling clients of The Hotel bedtime stories. But the hotel doesn't just serve as a place for travellers to rest.
While it is a very, very nice hotel chain…or each individual hotel is very nice, The Hotels also serve a greater purpose, a more ancient purpose as far as…back as I know, and as the narrator, as far back as I’ve been instructed to know, that these hotels have sat in areas in need of caretaking, because they happen to be areas where…whether the intersection of universes is thin or there happens to be openings between our world and other worlds…well, I think these cover one particular world; realms, universes, a transverse plane, intersections of the transverse plane, as we know is the vocabulary of this particular podcast. Wherever there’s a particular intersection of the transverse plane with our world and this one particular world, there is a hotel, or there should be if there’s not. The hotel seems to do a lot of different tasks that are not under my purview as the narrator of this story. My purview is that the hotel’s doing a great job, particularly if they need a official narrator for the hotel.
But they…one of the things they do is gather information of…so, it’s a little bit of…good for a sleep podcast, 'cause what I know the hotel does for sure is try to find out when people or things are crossing over between the two worlds. While they may wonder why that’s happening, they're more who, what, where, when, and how it’s happening. Usually Scooter's a part of that. While he’s more on the…one step below middle management, I'd say the middle manager or the hotel management level, which I guess is high…quite a thing, is that…so, there’s the Sundries Supervisor, who Scooter reports to, who seems to be the contact between whomever this…whoever this great, aspiring group…this organization behind the hotel. We do know that some of its members are…instead of being 007 or 004, they're named after elements of the periodic table, that there are hotel detectives.
I don't know if those are the same thing, because Scooter just meets with the Sundries Supervisor, who says, hey, I need you to find out what’s going on about this particular client through bedtime stories or inadvertently, sometimes. Now, tonight’s story is a little bit more vague, I guess. It’s taking place at an all-inclusive version of The Hotel that I have very limited knowledge of. We're picking up where last episode left off. Scooter was traveling to one hotel, and during his layover he got a message instructing him to go to Argentina and to head to Cordoba, Argentina, and meet with his client. The client is someone who Scooter's supposed to tell the bedtime story to, Ferne. Ferne was a artist, installation black-light artist, working at a installation at a soon-to-be-constructed version of The Hotel. It wasn't currently operating. But first they went out on the town, saw some black-light art, did some black-light dancing.
I don't know if it was a R-A-V-E, but Scooter was definitely raving about dancing in DayGlo paints in the black…with black lights, and maybe even developed feel…not…well, I guess some form of feelings for another person he was dancing with. But then he went back…they went to this…where the client, Ferne, was working on their installation underneath this hotel, which was a brutalist building, a big cement building kinda on the outskirts of town in the middle of nowhere. They rested, and Ferne was having trouble sleeping. But Scooter then the next day got to experience the installation. A lot of black velvet. Somewhat of a place you could get turned around in, but you were also going somewhere. It seemed like as you headed in the right direction you started to notice more and more light. You started in full darkness.
Scooter eventually exited in this lounge within a version of The Hotel, an all-inclusive version of The Hotel, and he met with the Sundries Supervisor, who said, yeah, we're trying to figure out this…Scooter was confused 'cause the Sundries Supervisor was being on the nose saying, yeah, we gotta figure out how this Ferne is crossing between our world and…crossing over somehow, the transverse plane or whatever. I don't know if the Sundries Supervisor used that language, but I’m using the discretion of the narrator to say that. But Scooter figured that he was also being tested, because he was…so, he just played Scooter, in a sense, and said, I don't understand; is this a bedtime story? But if I’m supposed to tell Ferne bedtime stories and help Ferne sleep, that’s fine. Scooter also got a upgraded room, which had never happened before.
Then Scooter met again with Ferne, who was working…still working on a installation and needed Scooter…said, I’m working on a secret part of the installation, so I need you to move stone for me. Scooter agreed to do that in order to help the client. His client said, let’s just keep this between the two of us. I think everything else…so, I guess…oh, it’s a all-inclusive resort. They're not allowed to currently leave the resort grounds for an undisclosed reason, but a caretaking reason, according to the Sundries Supervisor. When we last left off, Scooter had been working, moving stone, had noticed that his client was sleeping soundly while Scooter was moving stone, and then his client was in a mirror doing something like sign language or something, like…but it was also a video screen, maybe. Then Scooter went to bed, 'cause he had been moving stone for quite some time. That’s where we start off. Scooter wakes up and notices a light on his phone is blink, blink, blinking.
He goes to open his windows but realizes his windows only open to this indoor courtyard where there is some sunlight, but not the sunlight he would want. He checks his…well, it takes him a while to figure out the phone. But the Sundries Supervisor says, I gotta…you gotta come down. So, he goes down to the main floor of The Hotel, has breakfast at The Marketplace, which is like a food court, and he also…he had a dream about this woman he danced with. So, that even made his imaginary feelings more powerful, that this woman he only danced with and could barely see, that she was gonna solve everything for him. On some level he thought that, especially after the dream. So, he met with the Sundries Supervisor. He said, I’d really like to go back into Cordoba tonight, 'cause the Sundries Supervisor said, I need a update on your client. What have you found out? Scooter said, I don't…not much. They're working hard on the installation, and…I don't know.
I haven't…I'm still getting to know them. You know, part of the process before I could tell them…and most…the story you told me confusing me. They said, well, you gotta get to work. Scooter said, you kidding me? I was working with him for quite some time. I’m gonna get back to work with them now. I’m gonna go down there and go into the installation. Also, I need a key to the door to get in, though. I forgot to ask them. The Sundries Supervisor said, sure, but make…don't lose the key. Scooter said, no problem. So…but when can I go into Cordoba? ‘Cause I need to kinda refresh…I need some out…I gotta get out and do something. The Sundries Supervisor started to get very exasperated with Scooter. He said, when you find a way back, you can go back to Cordoba. Scooter said, well…also, can I have my phone? He said, no, there’s…whatever’s going on, nothing’s working. He said, look, and he showed Scooter his phone. It was powered down.
But again, Scooter kept thinking that this was some sort of…he’s…oh yeah, if I was in the field as a member of the periodic table, I wouldn't be able to use my phone. But he said, so, do I need to find my way to Cordoba? They said, no, you can't leave the hotel. Scooter said, I do not feel like a gentleman in Moscow at all. The Sundries Supervisor didn't get the reference. He said, okay, well, I guess I’ll get back to work, then. Well, so, is there…what other things are there to do in the hotel, though, in case…? ‘Cause I do have to stay fresh in order to tell bedtime stories. The Sundries Supervisor said, well, this…there’s a couple sit-down restaurants we talked about. There’s a sauna, steam room, treatment…we could get a massage or anything. Scooter said, great, great. Well, I’ll get…I'm gonna get back to work with the client, then. Don't worry, I’ll figure…I'll get back to you. I’ll try to have something.
So, he went back down to this locked lounge that was like the exit place for this installation, and he went in and got…I mean, it was nicely catered, so he got himself a cup of coffee and he called out, Ferne, Ferne. No sign of Ferne. So, then Scooter said, okay, I guess I gotta start moving. He’s moving these stones that were blocking this one hallway or tunnel that Ferne said that was gonna be part of…a secret, future part of the installation that would be really cool. But Scooter passed this mirror that he didn't realize was also…he thought it was a mirror, but then as he watched Ferne the night before, Ferne was standing in front of the mirror again making some sort of gestures with his hand that Scooter assumed was sign language. It was like out of sync; the mirror was out of sync. So, first he went up to the mirror and it was a mirror, and he was waving. It was just a little bit opaque, though. So, he’s waving in it and then it was just him.
But then he noticed the light shifted and Ferne was there on the other side of the mirror. But he also knew…it was like, okay, this is like…I don't know, is this a plasma? So, he’s tapping on it. Then Ferne tapped on it, but there was something very worn out about Ferne. Ferne started making these two gestures, which…one looked like please, please, like two hands held together almost like…sometimes if you're…as a part of a belief system, you say, please, please, higher power. But like…and it’s also…what are those? It’s not a meme; it’s the other thing, emoticon or whatever. Like pretty please, and then they would make something like an OK symbol off of their temple of their head, and then the OK symbol would pop. Scooter was just doing it back, and Ferne was kinda smiling gently and nodding. Then it’s…Ferne stopped and the video stopped or whatever. So, Scooter was doing that; please, my ideas…I don't know. He didn't really…please.
You figure that Ferne probably had an aching head from lack of sleep or something. So, Scooter got back to moving rocks, but he kept doing that symbol. Eventually Ferne showed up, and Ferne kinda looked…actually, when Scooter was having lunch, which he was able to call…he was like, maybe I can call room service and have them deliver it right to this thing, this lounge. Now, they didn't have Cola Zero, so he was like, what do you…? They said, yeah, we got…don't worry, we have you covered. So…but Ferne came in while Scooter was eating, and Ferne looked a bit…not tired; Ferne was yawning and saying, oh, I’m so tired. But Ferne looked like they had just gotten…he had just got out of bed. He said, how’s it going? Scooter said, I’m making progress. I’ve been working hard for you. But you gotta talk about…talk to you. Ferne said, what do you have to talk to me about? Scooter said, I might be making progress on the stones, but my supervisor here is gonna need me to…I need to get…help you fall asleep.
Like, I need…my job is not to move stone for you. It’s to get to know you better so I can craft a bedtime story to put you to sleep. I’m not necessarily here to work for…I mean, I am here to work for you. Ferne said, yeah, yeah. Give it time. Scooter said, no, this supervisor’s really…and Ferne said, I wasn't under the impression you were well-compensated. Scooter said, I’m not, but they do want…he does want results or to know I’m making…I'm doing something. So, I’m gonna have to report something. So, maybe we could work side by side? Ferne said, no, no, I gotta do the installation part. Scooter said, okay, well, can you tell me one thing? ‘Cause I’m…I didn't tell the Sundries Supervisor about this whole expansion or whatever you're doing. Ferne said, yeah, what do you need? Scooter said, well, so, I was playing around with that thing, the display thing. Ferne said, what display thing? The mirror display. Ferne said, oh. What do you mean?
Scooter said, well, I was like, fixing my hair and then I saw you, but it was like some weird loop or something. But it was interactive. I tapped on the glass. Ferne said, okay, and then what did you see? Scooter said, well, at first it was saying, please, please, maybe, or something like this, and Scooter was doing the motion with his hands, his palms pressed together. Ferne nodded. Then Scooter was doing the sign of something similar to OK, off of the temple, popping, kind of. Scooter said, like that, like a popping…I’m OK for bubbly? I don't understand. Is this part…is this like a immersive experience? Ferne said, yeah. Scooter said, am I supposed to figure out what it means? It said, please pardon me, por favor, pardon. Scooter said, oh, did you…in the moment? He goes, no, no, no, I was saying…he goes, I sent it down because I was running late, yeah. I was running late. So, I said, please forgive me for being late. Scooter said, you could do that from…? That’s cool. Is that…? He said, no, it’s LSA.
It’s different than ASL, before you ask. But yeah. Scooter said, interesting, interesting. Well, maybe I could use that…maybe I could learn more about…so, that’s LSA, you said? He said, yeah, yeah. Scooter said, maybe I can use that, then, to talk to my supervisor. He said, that’s fine, that’s fine, but I got…we gotta get to work now. He noticed that Ferne had all these rolled-up things. Scooter said, what are those? Ferne said, maps. Designs. So, he said, let’s get…you get back to work on moving the rocks, and I’ll get back to work on this. So, they went back to work, or Scooter went back to work, and then after some time passed, like six hours, he’s getting hungry for dinner. So, he was like, in a shower. So, he came back out, and he couldn't find Ferne. But he waited in the lounge, and Ferne eventually came back in from somewhere else in the installation. Scooter said, well, I gotta…so, I’m gonna take a break, or I’m done, probably, for the night. Where is all this going? Ferne said, I don't know yet.
That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Scooter said, well, I have to tell you a bedtime story tonight or something, 'cause they're gonna check. Ferne said, no, no, no, I’m not ready for a bedtime story tonight. Scooter said, yeah, but I gotta…again, like I said earlier, I think there’s something about this LSA I could make…I can learn more about that. That might buy me a day. But if I don't practice with you tonight…I'm not good at totally making stuff up, as you could tell. Ferne said, well, what would you recommend could get us a couple more days of time? Scooter said, well, maybe if you're…you show willingness to follow my advice. Ferne said, okay, I’ll show some willingness to follow your advice. Scooter said, okay, well, tonight follow this…Scooter went through the usual stuff; wind down, use a sleep mask, use the features in the room, but first you gotta go for a walk and then go to this meditation class later, and then tomorrow I need you to take a day…a spa day. Ferne said, a spa day?
Scooter said, yeah. They're gonna ask and then this will all…they’ll be able to know that you're following my advice. Ferne said, okay, I’ve thought about trying the services here, but I haven't. Scooter said, yeah, there’s…just do the whole thing. I’ll set it up tonight with the Sundries Supervisor for tomorrow. So, Scooter went back, took a shower, ate dinner. He didn't want to meet with the Sundries Supervisor, so he left at the check-in desk. Well, he tried. He said, can you leave a message for the Sundries Supervisor? They said, oh no, he’s waiting for you. So, Scooter went back, and the Sundries Supervisor said, well, what’s going on? Scooter said, well, we're working on it. I need to learn about LSA. I need some LSA resources. The Sundries Supervisor said, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, we have a couple employees that speak LSA, and someone’s always on duty. So, yeah, we could do that. He said, let me think. He goes, it’s…he goes, not everybody’s…he goes, I’ll figure that out.
Scooter said, well, the client’s gonna go to the meditation class, and then tomorrow he’s gonna follow a spa day. So, I need everything scheduled, the whole package. The Sundries Supervisor said, okay, that’ll keep them busy the whole day, too. So, we’ll need…we need to look in on this installation. Scooter said, what do you mean? They said, well, we gotta figure out what’s happening. Scooter said, wait, you want to help me with the bedtime story? The LSA part would be helpful. The Sundries Supervisor…no, no, no. We gotta…I need to figure out how they're crossing over, because they've been seen on the other side. I’m getting…he goes, it’s a long way to get a message here, but…he goes, there’s some…he goes, otherwise it’s just a one-way thing. Then Scooter's like, I don't understand. So, you…I don't understand what you're talking about. What do you mean, one-way thing?
I’m really finding this…and also, I don't know, this may break a bedtime storyteller thing I have with them; like, I’m gonna lose…I've learned in the past that can really complicate these relationships when I get in the way of them. The Sundries Supervisor said, I’ll tell you what. We’ll schedule a spa day, but I need to figure out the layout of this whole thing. Scooter was thinking about the maps. The Sundries Supervisor said, I’m gonna go into the installation with or without you tomorrow while they're having their spa day. So, you want to come with me or not? Scooter's like, okay. In his head he was like, well, I better go with him, because then I can distract him from all the stone…if he finds out about the stone I’ve been moving instead of doing my job, he’s not gonna be happy. So, apparently Ferne went to the meditation class and then Scooter went to bed and then got up the next day, had breakfast at one of the nice sit-down restaurants. Everybody was super polite and nice to him.
Then even at breakfast they gave him this…a device that had some lessons, some LSA lessons, basic words and stuff like that, like hola and buenos dias and stuff like that. So, he was watching that and learning. Then he even saw Ferne, who was having more of like a avocado toast-style breakfast to get ready for the spa day. Scooter was like, man, I gotta get a spa day in. Then eventually once the spa day started, the Sundries Supervisor said, alright, let’s go. Do you have your sleep mask? Scooter said, no, no, no, I don't want to get it wet or anything. I keep it in my room. The Sundries Supervisor goes, well, you're gonna need it because we're gonna try to go backwards. I’ve tried on my own. Scooter said, backwards…he goes, yeah, I’m trying to go backwards through this installation. I can't get back to the beginning. Scooter's like, interesting. Well, it’s supposed to be that way. They said, okay. So, Scooter went and got his sleep mask, which was also a gadget. This was his first real gadget.
Again, he was like, okay, this is supposed to test my patience, the Sundries Supervisor and this client, and supposed to be confusing. So, he went down with the Sundries Supervisor, and they went into this installation, which he had only been through…all the way through once when he was…came from Cordoba, went through, and then ended up at this…the all-inclusive version from the future hotel to this current hotel. Then Scooter started thinking like, oh wait, I can get back to Cordoba, and then I’ll know how to get back there. Then I can just go whenever I feel like it. So, this…so then he was extra motivated. Meanwhile, no matter what they did, they couldn't…whether they turned…they had flashlights, they had infrared, they had, whatever, night vision. Every time they tried to go through these…basically just hanging black velvet, they would always end up…even if it took a long time, it would always end up at the same place.
The Sundries Supervisor, instead of getting frustrated, they started getting more and more down about things and more frowny-faced. Scooter kinda realized that this person needs a bedtime story. Eventually Scooter was like, I better…maybe accidentally have them discover the thing he was…the other tunnel with all the stones in it. So, then he kind of was like, hey, what’s…? He goes, what’s that? ‘Cause it was inevitable because they were spending so much time. They were feeling the walls, crawling, trying to tie ropes to one another. The Sundries Supervisor said, this keeps looping back. It must be some sort of loop or something. I’ve never even heard of this. This is above my pay grade and all this stuff. Scooter…then they found this new tunnel. Or, it was old, but Scooter had been…now, Scooter didn't say anything about him moving any stone, but there was still all this stone piled up ceiling to floor that seemed to go back really far and then made it impassable.
Scooter said, what’s this? Sundries Supervisor said, I don't know. I’m not…I was told nothing. I’m not supposed to go here. It’s a future expansion or something. I don't know. Scooter said, hey, I’ll tell you what; what if we go up to your room and I try to help you fall asleep? It seems like this didn't go so well. They said, okay, okay. So, he took the Sundries Supervisor and said, at first we’ll get refreshed, and they have dinner. He said, it’s okay. He took…Scooter had changed his tune. Then he said, okay…it’s okay, this is on me. This isn't on the hotel. I’ll still work with Ferne. Scooter went up and he said, all the employees live at this hotel, too, huh? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all do. So…and their rooms were kinda on in-between floors where there wouldn't be clients. Scooter went with him and said, okay, well, here's the thing; once upon a time…why don't you get comfortable? I feel like…once upon a time there was someone who really, really wanted to get somewhere, clearly.
At first the Sundries Supervisor is kinda tossing and turning. They had all…they had watched all these movies and things. Then they were on a journey, and then their journey changed. Was it fate or was it just happenstance? Was it synchronicity? But they went out in Cordoba, of all places, right here in Cordoba. That’s…something about that; the Sundries Supervisor was tossing and turning more. He went and saw this amazing puppet show. Scooter could tell that the client was…I mean, the client, the Sundries Supervisor, was engaged but not relaxed. But he said, that’s the first stage, distraction. He said…and then he went dancing, and he wasn't the kinda…and Scooter said, this isn't about me, you know, but I’m not normally one who dances a lot. But after a black-light dinner and then puppets, an espresso, I was ready. There was something in the air, and I was dancing, and then I saw someone.
I was cloaked in pinks and…he was talking about the body painting and how he danced with this woman. Scooter said, and I can't stop thinking about it. I really wish I could get back to Cordoba to see…does she even go there? I don't know. Ferne…it’s also like, Ferne was so nice when we were there, but when Ferne’s working, I’m not so sure about Ferne, either. But maybe…I don't know. The Sundries Supervisor was like, propped up on his elbows. He was like, wait a second, so you fell for someone in Cordoba? Me, too. Scooter said, really? Then the Sundries Supervisor said, yeah, he’s real, not…I got to meet him before I was assigned here. So, it wasn't just like…it’s not like…yeah. But yeah, that’s…I really want to get back there and see him. I wish…I just wish I…honestly, I don't…I don't even want to work here anymore, Scooter, and I’m sorry I’ve been so frustrated, but I just want to get back to Cordoba. Scooter said, I don't know…what do you mean?
He said, listen, this…I realize you think this is some sort of test, but it’s not a test. We're not…there’s nothing outside of this hotel right now. He goes, we're over here. Scooter goes, I’m not sure…this is a bedtime story, but you could keep telling it to me. The Sundries Supervisor kinda groaned and said, yeah, okay. Okay, I’ll play along. Once upon a time I lived in a world, and then I relocated to Argentina, and then I got a job offer that was gonna supply everything I would have ever wanted or needed, or that I thought at the time. But it did come with a catch, and it took some time, and I realized I didn't really have anybody in our world, in Argentina or anywhere else. So, I was willing to do it, to take a job and work for the other side, this side. But then my job involved traveling all the way to Cordoba and then back here, which is a long one-way, which…and also cloaked in total secrecy, that I couldn't see anything. I was trying to find people, and that’s how I found Ferne, because we were working on this pathway between Cordoba and here.
I was…this is more of a place to bring people in that are gonna…that are either gonna come to work for this version of the hotel or not. But when I was in Cordoba traveling and spending time there, looking for a client, Ferne, I hadn't met yet, yeah, I met somebody and I fell in love. I didn't tell anybody on this side, and I tried to keep it to myself, but I was traveling back and forth. Occasionally…anyway. So, that’s why I want to get back there. The thing is that Ferne can travel back and forth. There must be some short way that Ferne is getting from here to there that’s hidden or something. I just want to go back to my bedtime story. I don't want to work here anymore, which unfortunately isn't much…I put in a long…or at least maybe talk to them about…I didn't…I don't want…I didn't want them to know…you know what I mean? Scooter said, so you're in love. It sounds like real love compared to my more piqued interest. Yeah, I’m sorry.
So, you're in love with somebody, and it sounds like you're…the commute is a issue. The Sundries Supervisor said, Scooter, this isn't a test. In my room there’s no way for them…he goes, I definitely have them. They think I’m fully…I mean, up until I thought…I don't know. I guess I figured if I could just get a way to go back and forth between Cordoba…but once we hired Ferne, that’s when they stopped my trips. So, I don't know. I’m confused of what I should do. I just want a easy way to get back to Cordoba. I figured you would have figured it out by now, because that’s the one thing you're good at, and that I could just go back into Cordoba. No one would know about it…and then figure things out. But I just have to kinda — kinda like your little crush story — quench that. Scooter said, well, okay. Well, I think…I've been thinking about it, right? And I’ve been thinking about your story that…your bedtime story you told me.
I’d love to get back there, too, but I don't…so, this isn't a test, you're saying. The Sundries Supervisor said, no, this is not a test at all. You're stuck here, Scooter, if there’s no easy way back that you can discover, but maybe you can. Maybe you can keep working at it and figure out how Ferne’s crossing over. Scooter said, well, let me look up something on this pad I have, this device with LSA on here. He goes, 'cause I have one more piece of information that I got. Then he said, well…and he said, well, I’ve been…there’s multiple…this helps with everything but one piece. Like, does your personality change when you come over here? The Sundries Supervisor said, well, no. I’m the same…I'm moody, but I was moody on…when I was…I'm from the same world you are, and everybody here was recruited to work here. Scooter said, okay, well, there’s something with LSA, the sign language, and Ferne. While we were searching, I saw Ferne again in this video screen.
It just looked like a mirror when we passed in front of it. But let me see, the first thing was a V with the fingers. So, let me search here. This is a great app for learning this. So, both hands in front of the chest, and both hands were in the V shape with the index and the middle finger, similar to the number two. Then the sides of the index figure go together so the two V shapes are touching, and then apart, and then touching and apart. Okay, then the other one was…okay, the index finger horizontally, then the index finger horizontally above the lip from one side to the other, like a moustache. So, a moustache, victory, and then the last one was a hand clenched but thumb extended, like thumbs-up, but then the hand clenched to the side of the head near the jaw, the thumb pointed over the shoulder, and then the thumb goes backwards and with a grouchy face. So, two Vs, two V, moustache, something grouch…backwards grouch. Okay, so, the moustache means male or something.
Okay, so, the…says, are you with me? The Sundries Supervisor had fallen asleep. So, Scooter had kinda done his job, but Scooter was still trying to figure…okay, so, two V, male, back frown. Two V, male, back frown. Two V, male, back frown. So, he kept looking up…again, he was trying to search videos, and he was, of course, like Scooter, so he was kinda misinterpreting things. Then he kinda was like, okay, well, let me look it up. If two V moustache…and then he found that it was melly, melly. Melly, male. Melly, male. So, then he kinda was trying to look up synonyms for melly, which was gemelo. Wait a second, gemelo? I know that. Twin; he found it. He didn't think of it, of course. He had to keep searching. Twin male? Twin male? Twin male, backwards grouch. Twin male, backwards grouch. Twin male, backwards…and then he’s looking up the backwards thing, and he’s getting malo. Malo, twin male, backwards. Bad, back…my brother has a bad back? Oh, my twin brother has a bad back?
That’s when he heard a knock at the door. My twin brother has a bad back? And he kept saying it over and over again. My twin brother has a bad back. My twin brother has a bad back. Then he opened the door, and who was standing there but Ferne and someone else who looked very official. She was like, good evening. Scooter said, good…my twin brother has a back ache. Ferne started laughing. The woman said, can we come in? Scooter said, I guess so. What can I help you with? She said, well, I’m the hotel detective. Scooter said, well, I was just…don't worry, he’s sleeping. I was helping him fall asleep. He’s really tired. She goes, what is it you were saying over and over again? Ferne said, my twin brother is malo. Scooter said, my twin brother is malo. Oh, boy. The Sundries Supervisor said, yes, this is not Ferne. This is Belco, Ferne’s twin brother. So, wait, so Ferne or you are malo? Ferne laughed and nodded. Scooter said, so this means we're not leaving the hotel anytime soon, huh?
The hotel detective said, no, not anytime soon, you're not. Scooter said, do I still get to keep…can we just…can we go out in the hall, then? ‘Cause they're resting. How about I go…? That’s fine. I mean, obviously I had a crush on somebody that I was trying to get back to Cordoba for, but yeah, I’m just reporting in. I just arrived, and Ferne has been filling me in on everything that’s been happening. Ferne works for us. You don't work for the same hotel I work for, right? You're malo, too. The hotel detective said, I’m not sure, Scooter. But yeah, why don't you get back to your room and get some rest, and we’ll discuss all of this in the future? Goodnight. So, I mean, I guess 'cause Scooter had helped wind down…and because then he was able to return to this crush that he was dreaming about, he was able to go back to his room and just imagine neon dancing calmly, and eventually he fell deep, deep asleep. He probably rests for a while since he’s at a all-inclusive hotel that he’s an exclusive resident for for a little while. But we’ll return at some point with Checking Into Boredom.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
