929 – The Santa Element

Episode 929 – The Santa Element

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and all my patron peep…pa-pa-pa patron peeps, what do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts, things you’re thinking about on your mind, thinking about the past, present, the future, tomorrow, next week.  Whatever it is; stuff…whatever you’re thinking about.  I don’t know; lists.  That’s listicles and lists.  Holy moly.

 

Remember when I was gonna start that podcast, The Litany of Lists and I never followed that…you know, that’s on my list now because another thing I never followed through on.  That’s one list I’ve never made, luckily.  It’s one of those self-generating lists.  Maybe I’ll get back to that.  So, whatever’s keeping you awake; thoughts, feelings, any emotions coming up.  They could be emotions about the past or the present or the future, physical sensations, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake; changes in schedule, time, maybe work.  Here’s a big shout-out to my second and third shift workers, and those of you on the fourth…those of you…well, those of you on the fourth shift which I’ve tried to promote more and more, and those of you on shifts in 4D.

 

You say well, I’m working in the fourth…I got a shift in the fourth dimension, Scoots.  What about me?  I say don’t worry, one day I’ll mention you on a episode.  Will you hear it?  I don’t know, because I don’t know how that works.  Well, when…I guess…do you go…wait, do you go…you work…do you work here and return to the fourth dimension or do you work in the fourth dimension and return here?  Did I say that?  Did my brain just get caught in another dimension?  How many dimensions are there, again?  Oh, I don’t know.  Okay, well, is it…did this have anything to do with…how many axes are there?  Is there X, Y, and Z?  Okay, my brain is definitely dead silent when I’m asking these questions.  I was waiting for an answer, even inside my head, that I would have given voice to.  No answers in there.

 

In fact, I felt some part of myself rolling its eyes when I said X…I said what…then I started something…mutter; what do axes and dimensions have to do with each other?  I’d say whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone there, because how are you gonna get a…what if you had to measure a dimension?  Well, you’d need the axes, or you’d say length and width and depth.  That’s 3D, correct?  I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask, and that’s how I treat those parts of me.  I say well, this is…you know, I’m not gonna…I’m not here to get into a big thing about this.  I just was wondering and I think it’s…you know, I’m just asking questions, okay?  Then my brain says yeah, I guess you’re right.  Sorry, I didn’t see it that way, but you’re right.

 

I never would have…my brain, without a hint of sarcasm that I can detect, said I never would have thought we’d need to get out the old measuring tape and start measuring dimensions or taking…I said well, somewhere out there in the history of time and space, there’s definitely been someone or will be right now whose job has to do with measuring the dimensions of dimensions.  I mean, that’s a reasonable assumption, right?  Oh, my brain just said I know one person that wouldn’t be qualified for that.  I’d say, you’re right about that.  I would not be qualified for…they’d say, what is that?  Is that…what number is that, or is that a letter?  Well, I estimate…I use a form of estimation called ‘the tape measure keeps moving around’.  It’s my own special form of estimation.

 

I mean, those were…that was a wriggly dimension you had me dealing with.  I said, nebula, can you just stay in one place while I measure you?  That wasn’t Nebula, the famous character that associates with superheroes or a super-heroine.  That was something else.  Oh, sorry, yeah, I forgot I’m in the middle of this…I’m in the middle of the start of a sleep podcast.  Oh, boy.  Okay, so whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff.  What I’m gonna do, and I just gave you an example, is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.

 

I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up which we’ve just seen, not go anywhere; you say, he talked about stuff but I don’t…he’s the only person that could talk about something without reaching a conclusion.  I’d say, thank you very much.  I mean, if you…once you’ve had my imaginary future job in another…measuring dimensions of dimensions, I think that’s probably what one of the…I mean, really, when you talk about that, that’s really an essential job of astro-person.  I don’t know if it’s a astrophysicist, but that would say…wouldn’t that be…you could use that if you’re an astrophysicist.  Say, what does an astrophysicist do anyway?  Well, one of the…one of our main jobs is measuring the dimensions of dimensions.

 

Maybe I should check in…next time I check in at one of the great particle colliders, I heard they got a…I heard there’s a new superconductor that doesn’t have to be measured in Kelvin or something.  I’m excited about that because that makes it easier for me to pop in and join in in the…I say, super-collision.  That was a wonderful one.  That’s another book I will be working on one day; Compliments for Super Colliders and Particle Accelerators.  If You Meet A Particle…Things to Say If You Meet A Particle Collider…what did I say?  Particle Accelerator or A Collider or A Super Collider at A Party.  Small Talk with Super Colliders and Particle Accelerators.  Oh, boy.  If you’re new, I mean, you’re already hearing the podcast.  You already have a good idea.  This show is not a podcast you need to listen to.

 

I think I set a good example of why.  It’s the kind of podcast you kinda barely listen to.  You just kinda barely pay attention.  That’s one thing to know.  The other thing to know is this podcast really doesn’t put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company while you drift off, so even if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here.  The shows are an hour to give you plenty of time.  Fall asleep at your leisure.  If you can’t sleep, I’ll just be here keeping you company and rambling.  It’s interesting ‘cause tonight is a science-based…well, if there’s an imaginary branch of science…and I’m not talking about the one we’re familiar with; I’m talking about a different one, kinda like…not fantasy science, but yeah, I guess in some sense, a fantasy science.  Okay, so what was I saying?

 

Oh, so this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to.  Don’t need to fall asleep, either.  I just keep you company while you drift off.  Podcast does not work for everybody, either.  That’s the thing.  It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but for most people it worked for, it took two or three tries before they realized oh, I feel…I was confusing distaste with neutrality.  I actually feel neutral, so neutral about this podcast, I could sleep to it.  But naturally when you first check this show out, you might have strong feelings about it ‘cause it’s very different, a bit…it…I’m a bit strange.  I go off-topic, I got creaky, dulcet tones.  Alls I can say is give it a few tries and see how it goes.  I really hope it can help you fall asleep.  I don’t gain anything, really.

 

If you saw my inbox, you’d just say…but just give it two or three tries and see if it works.  I hope it does.  That’s that.  Another thing if you’re new that throws new listeners off is the structure of the show, especially…well, I guess it throws people off whether this is their first podcast or they listen to a lot of podcasts.  It throws them off either way and I think the reason why is that the structure’s not…it’s not comparable to another podcast.  We start off with a greeting.  That’s pretty normal; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary.  That’s how everybody knows that I want you to feel seen and welcome and that I’m trying to make a safe place or a place that you could…you say well, I’ll check that out.

 

I’m feeling ambivalent at this point…an ambivalent place that could [00:10:00] develop into something you feel safe in.  There’s that.  That’s the greeting, then there’s business, business at the top of the show.  Usually we got two pieces of business, then the Sleepy Supporter Zone, then the intro.  The intro is the long part of the beginning of the show, usually from six minutes to twenty-two minutes or so, or at least lately.  That’s where I introduce the podcast which you say, normally isn’t an intro around thirty seconds to two minutes?  I say yeah, normally it is, but this is an intro that could put you to sleep, so that’s why it’s twenty-two minutes.  But really, the intro kinda serves a couple purposes.  One; if you’re new, it kinda gives you an idea what to expect.  You say oh, okay, this is a podcast…okay.

 

Is he gonna…?  I don’t know, you get familiar with the idea that I’m…style of the show.  But two, there are listeners that fall asleep during it.  There are 2% or 3% of listeners that skip ahead to twenty minutes and start listening there, and there are people that listen during the day or wake up and put the podcast on.  There’s a lot of different use cases but for a lot of listeners, and this isn’t right or wrong, but just like the usual way people get into the show initially is they listen to the intro during their wind-down, whether they’re in bed or they’re getting ready for bed.  That makes the intro…that twenty minutes serves as to…a way to get some distance from your day…your daytime personality and to make nighttime where it’s something a little bit nicer.  You say well, I’m easing into bedtime with Scoots.

 

I’m taking your mind off of stuff and that way you’re kinda descending, ideally, into sleep.  That’s the only way that works for me.  Yeah, so that’s the intro, then there’s business, kinda the…that’s the main meat of the business of the show, then there’s our story.  Tonight it’ll be a holiday episode where we look at Santa Claus.  I’m just gonna say it up-front; one, I believe in Santa Claus.  Two, I’m gonna explain one argument that hasn’t been put forth, a undisclosed…well, I don’t know if I…yeah, I guess I have firsthand knowledge of this stuff.  When people say oh, Santa’s impossible, just a fantasy…also, I believe Santa Claus turned things over to Roberta Claus in 2013, but you could call…Roberta Claus is comfortable being called Santa Claus because Santa Claus is a role.

 

Roberta Claus is the current person serving in that role which is a long…she’s only the…well actually, I don’t know this actually; I just made an assumption.  I’m operating on the assumption she’s only the second person to occupy the role of Santa Claus, but I could be wrong about that.  Not playing the fictional role of Santa Claus, the real role.  Tonight I’ll be talking about that, so if you have young people in your life or you’re a young person, or you’re a teacher, you could go ahead and put this on…you could put this on the syllabus.  I mean, I can’t promise you’ll keep your job but you could say well, this is another argument of how all this is possible.  It’ll just help you…it’ll help you see why you could get in the holiday mood.  We’ll talk about that, then there’s some thank-yous.  That’s the structure of the show.

 

Like I said, this podcast just…is not for everybody, but for the people it works for, they say yeah, give it two or three tries.  The other important thing is the reason I make the show.  The reason I make the show is because I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.  I’ve had all of those.  I probably had all of those in the last forty-eight hours, including my new thing which is…my daughter wants me to call it #laying which I’ve talked about.  It’s because of this twenty…I wake up really early and I try to get back to sleep because I don’t have a sleep podcast that I can put on.  Luckily, you do, but you could also put this podcast on and just try this.  I don’t think I told my therapist about this ‘cause this is really where I say wow, I really am getting better.

 

This stuff actually works, this…all the work I put in.  I’m not kidding; I guess that sounds like I’m saying it facetiously, but…so, I have this new thing when I wake up early that I kind of…acceptance, I guess is what you’d call it.  I say okay, I woke up early.  I don’t want to get out of bed but I also don’t want to put pressure on myself to fall back asleep.  I’m just gonna lie here for a little while, try to get comfortable, but try not to…’cause for me, once I say I want to go back to sleep, you know, that…you know how that goes.  Then I start to get…my temperature starts to rise and I’m not…not my physical temperature.  You know what I’m saying?  I just get less…I get frowny.  This new laying thing, it doesn’t work all the time because it’s…you gotta be in the right mood.  I say well, I’m just gonna lie here.

 

Maybe I’ll let my thoughts drift, maybe I’ll meditate, maybe I’ll feel some feelings or get comfortable, maybe I’ll listen to some sounds.  Tell you what; sometimes I fall back asleep, sometimes I don’t, and then sometimes I wait a few…give it a few minutes and I say well, I didn’t fall back asleep and I kinda start drinking coffee.  That’s just one of the things that…I don’t recommend it.  I’d recommend listening to this podcast and laying…falling back asleep, but…oh, I’ve been there; that’s the main thing, so I know how it feels in the morning or at night, or you know, all the time.  If I can help you, if I can make bedtime something you don’t dread, that would be…that’s the highest goal I could hit, if you just say well, at least I got Scoots.  I got that.  At least I’m not like Scoots, just laying there, hoping.

 

I got Scoots to keep me company.  I mean, in some sense, I have pre-Scoots because, whatever, I can just let my thoughts drift sometimes.  It’s like, pre-podcast material.  If I can help, it would really…gives my life meaning but also, the other side of it is you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place where you can get some rest and if I can help with that, that would mean a lot because if your life’s better, all our lives are better.  If your life’s richer, all our lives are richer.  It’s just the truth.  It increases the…it’s like, an incremental increase in the goodness of the world.  An incremental increase in the goodness of the world?  Sign me up.  That’s my dream.

 

I really want to help put a little bit of incremental increase in the rest you get and in the goodness of your life, or that you could live your life in a more fuller way.  That’s why I’m here, but I…don’t take that serious talk serious; mostly it’s me goofing around and talking to myself.  I’m glad you’re here.  I work really hard.  I yearn and I strive, and I really want to help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to bring you this podcast twice a week.

 

Alright, everybody, it’s Scoots here.  I’m here with a holiday tale.  Oh boy, is this exciting.  Our holiday…there’s a lot of things…how do I set this up?  Because there’s…okay kids, now, this is just…I don’t know how many people are listening that…where you stand on this holiday issue of Santa Claus or Roberta Claus who took over for Santa Claus and now goes by Santa Claus.  I don’t know where you stand on this…one of the great issues of our time, but I do want to explain one of the many…what’s known as a myth, but you could say…there’s people that say oh, do you believe in Santa Claus or Santa Claus or Santa Claus or Santa Claus?  The mere raising of the question makes me say hey, could you pause and ask yourself why you’re asking the question?

 

Because when you start out a holiday tale, you say well, do you believe in Santa Claus?  Or have you got to a point where you ask that question in a way that has an agenda to prove or disprove something instead of fostering an underlying…I say well, I guess I have an agenda which is like, everybody’s starting a holiday tale.  It’s to bring you a little dose of meanders and holiday cheer and take your mind off of stuff, but also to encourage those of you that say well, okay, Scoots, I’m whatever age I am and I’ve been told these things, or I’m just a curious child and I say to myself oh, I do love Santa Claus and…but there’s a lot of questions I have about Santa Claus and how it’s possible to visit every home in the world, because you say, the…as soon as you say that, it brings up a lot…well, what if we don’t…you know.  Then I say, okay.

 

Well, I do want to tell you that yeah, this is a…this takes things in a different direction for those of you that say you know, I got another part of my brain, [00:20:00] Scoots, a part that’s…it’s a weird part of my brain that Scoots has; it does…it has a lot of questions and a lot of needs and wants to bring up a lot of points, but also doesn’t do…want to do a lot.  You’d say, is that…here’s the thing; I just thought of this.  They have a name for that part of the brain and one, they’d call it limbic.  The other one, it starts with an L.  But if you think about it, those of you…and I’ve never had one of these beings which we’d say is a cool…they’re a cool…they have a cool circulatory system and they may or may not — depending on which part of science you practice — be descendant from dinosaurs.

 

Or was it birds who were the precursor and these current friends are the descendants of dinosaurs with their cool circulatory system?  Now, some people may have even gotten a pet that has a cool circulatory system for a holiday, but some people use it as…describe a part of our brain or our functioning, particularly my therapist and because…they say oh boy, do you have a strong…when you say you’re cool…no, I say I’m hot-blooded.  Check it and see.  Well, your limbic system’s cool, man.  I say, cool like cool or cool like temperature?  You’d say, cool.  Oh.  Well, isn’t it interesting that that part of our brain which feels very active is named after a being that spends most of its time lying around on warm rocks or under warm lamps, if it’s a pet, and does everything very slowly.

 

I never thought about that but you say well, wait a second; did you name it because of your feelings about those cool circulatory beings?  Because as far as my research could tell…and I’d say well, actually Scoots, let me explain it to you here.  I’d say okay, but back it up, because the…most of the time they’re lying around, even the ones I see out there in the world.  They say, those…they have the cool circulatory system but they spend most of their time relaxing in the sun.  I say, maybe they have it figured out in a way I don’t.  Oh, but I’m here to tell you a holiday tale.  I don’t even know, to be honest, what any of that has to do with it except that one part of our brain says no, no, no, but I’m here to explain to you one of the realms of possibility.

 

I’ll bring up the question that comes up even when I’m trying to write stuff around this; is Santa Claus real?  If you’re going to say yes…or usually, the adult response with…when you’re making a show like this, is…say well, do you believe in Santa Claus?  Even years ago, I talked about that there was a book about how is the physics of making it possible and those kind of things.  But I wanted to talk tonight about a version of this that I’ve been recently…a theory, and so, I’m gonna turn it over to a theorist and I guess this will be the first time they’re on the show.  Maybe; I don’t know ‘cause they haven’t recorded it or popped into the studio yet, but they’re gonna explain about…so, here we go, this is Gilda and…yes, hello, thank you Scooter, thanks.

 

I’m here, and I’m Gilda the holiday theorist, and I’m here to offer you a holiday theory.  You could say treaty or treatise on how the relationship between Santa Claus and water…and how it makes Santa Claus real.  I say water and water vapor.  The winter time and the holiday season, for most of the time, with increased precipitation in the Northern Hemisphere…and those of you in the Southern Hemisphere, you don’t have to have a high level of humidity for this theory to be true, but this would be a myth better explained in a high humidity Southern Hemisphere region, though there’s always water.  Did you know we’re made up of water and water is essential to our respiration and all those things?  I’m not here to get too caught up on us and water, but you know, have a glass of water.

 

Now, maybe you don’t want to have a glass of water right at bedtime, but I want to talk about a couple things about the holiday season and those of us that already believe in Santa Claus or…you say well, now there’s…I totally understand; maybe you don’t want to hear these theories.  You may say well, that doesn’t make me feel good.  It brings…I’d say okay, yeah, that’s understandable that Santa Claus may not bring up strong feelings for everyone and that’s why Santa Claus decided to turn things over to Roberta Claus, because Roberta Claus, she was a scientist that also didn’t believe in Santa Claus until she took over, and that’s a…presented as…ages ago, Sleep With Me explained how that’s possible.  I think you could listen on the patron feed somewhere.

 

But for some of us wondering about Santa Claus also brings up…you say well, maybe part of it is wanting to believe and wanting to believe in that grand myth, but then you say well, makes a lot of questions and I don’t want those questions to interfere with my experience of the myth because then I may…I say okay, well, let’s just spend some time here together.  I’m gonna say that, like a lot of us and even those that say oh boy, this or…holidays and all myths offer a spectrum or layers for you to experience something.  Now, that’s just my theory.  It’s not…it’s kind of a made-up theory.  It’s called the myth…Sandwich Layer Theory, Club Sandwich Myth Theory which I don’t like club ‘cause I say well, you can only get this sandwich in a club?

 

Well, I don’t want to be a part of a club…that I need to be a part of a club to get a sandwich.  Is this a…this is a sandwich-based club, or this club is a perk of the…the sandwich is a perk of the club?  Because I could go to a diner and get this sandwich, one, so that’s not that great.  What’s the perk?  It’s just the extra piece of bread in there?  Sorry, sometimes I rail against things beyond…so, but now, some of you may say well, that’s kinda old-fashioned.  What’s a club sandwich and why are we talking about club sandwiches?  What does that have to do with…what if I don’t have the…I say well, a club sandwich to me is a layered sandwich with an…with extra layers.

 

A club sandwich, traditionally if you get it at a diner which anyone can go to for the most part, is a sandwich; it has a piece of bread, then usually…now, you could have a condiment on your bread.  Bread’s normally toasted, and that’s for flavor and structural integrity.  Then you have some layers on your…you have the bread, then you have the condiment.  Condiment’s kind of a layer, technically.  Then you’ll have some layers.  Maybe they’re vegetable layers, maybe not.  That’s the beauty of constructing a sandwich to construct a metaphor for a myth, a metaphorical sandwich for a metaphorical myth.  Let’s just see what…we’re gonna have a vegetable sandwich.  You say okay, well, I’ll have some lettuce, I’ll have some tomato, then maybe some cucumber.

 

You say then you take another toasted piece of bread, maybe with…normally…I don’t know if it’s condimented or not.  Let’s say it’s not condimented.  You say, on this sandwich, what would be our condiment?  I’d say well, if it’s a vegetable…and I’d say, maybe some hummus on that first layer.  Now, I know those of you are saying please, on this next piece of toast…yeah, we’ll put some avocado there on the next layer, and maybe something to add some savory something.  You say well, some pickled something and maybe even something like…what is that called?  Seitan?  Maybe something else to add…not a faux meat, but a little bit of hefton savoriness and flavor.

 

Then maybe another vegetable layer; maybe one more iceberg lettuce layer just to…coolness and crunch is important, and then the last piece of toast.  Now, I hear some of you saying don’t all sandwiches have layers?  Yes, but this is a lot of layers.  Two; I hear, what does this have to do with the holiday season?  I’d say well, sometimes you prefer a sandwich with all those layers, right?  That’s one way to think about your belief system in Santa Claus, is my point there.  You’d say, what does this have to do with…is Santa Claus possible?  I’d say okay, well, a couple…we come up with the things; okay, is Santa Claus possible?  One person, in our case, Roberta Claus, she is both the figurehead and the central distributor of holiday joy [00:30:00] traditionally expressed in kids getting stuff on the morning or the evening of Christmas.

 

I realize that you may have, like I said, we’re gonna look at it as layers in the sandwich and saying well, you want a sandwich or not?  Like, the all-or-nothing myth, you say well, is Santa real or not?  Is this good for…well, I only see Christmas through this lens or I don’t…you know, this is…you say well, okay, I see there’s other layers.  People may change the layers of that club sandwich around.  They go more traditional; mayo, bacon, and turkey or whatever.  I don’t know.  This is but a layer that hasn’t been talked about.  I guess that’s my point; in one layer you could see the holiday season through.  You say, is Santa Claus, Roberta Claus real?  Someone who goes around the world delivering toys…okay.  You say hm, not so sure about that one.  One, because what about people…okay, I hear you.

 

There’s multiple objections to just add as a factual action, and two, as a possible action.  Understandable, very, very understandable.  Okay, so you say okay, now how’s your theory present those two things?  I’d say well, what if we go deeper to the people who say yes?  You say, guess…well, one, they go to all-or-nothing after that; yes, Santa Claus is real, yes, Santa Claus delivers presents around the globe.  It’s a fact.  You either accept it or you don’t.  You say okay, well, that’s one way to deal with it.  I understand that.  Or you say well, I want to believe in it so strongly that at least during the season, I use all of the accoutrements of the season not just because I enjoy it, but also as a mechanism of cognitive dissonance, as a distraction from the weight that I am going into a all-or-nothing place and just believing Santa Claus is real without…’cause I don’t want…I just want to be immersed and the accoutrements helps me in that immersion, much like a suspension of disbelief when you watch a movie, going to the movie theatre and having habits when we…when that was something we did very often, or going to a theme park.

 

It’s a part of a process, right?  Your suspension of disbelief or accoutrements that make it easier to have cognitive dissonance I guess is…and I’d say well, I guess the suspension of disbelief is a nicer way to put it.  Yeah, then some people, you might say okay, is it real or not?  They might say no, but symbolically it’s enjoyable, or you may say well, no, but it’s fun to think about.  I’d say okay, okay, those are things…you’re starting to see layers in the sandwich, there.  Or some people might speculate not only…I like to think it is possible and I like to think about how would it be possible, or some people might say well, it’s a historical myth about something that no longer occurs, but does occur, but we still kind of…it’s a participatory myth.  I’d say whoa, I never thought about that ‘til it just came out of my mouth.

 

I wish I had written all this down.  Tell me more.  Well, it’s a myth.  You could believe that it’s a tale or that it’s a factual accounting of something that occurred in the past, and now we as a people…the people that participate in it…and you say well, there’s also…there’s secular and non-secular holidays and even cultural…even secular…non-secular cultural expressions of holiday traditions and then there’s family…then the…it goes level by level of level, even geographic.  I’d say yes, yes, yes; now we’re…so, there’s layers.  Those are layers on the sandwich, yes.  That doesn’t make it untrue that you say well, and it could be real, or yeah, I’d like to think about that book with the physics of it, if it’s real, or the other…all these specials that are on the streaming boxes and looking at that, and all the…or oh, it just opens me up to the possibility it could be real.

 

Then we go into a place where there’s also a couple other big…not lengthwise words but words that are used in big ways; magic and spirit that we need to touch on before we get to the actual…this actual…this is some of what I think will become a popular, factual way of looking at the holiday season, hence to therefore, whatever, moving forward.  Okay, so, there’s magic.  They say well, how does this all…if it is…not only is it real but the way it’s real is magic, or…you wouldn’t say…has anybody…probably they said well, no, it’s a superpower.  How come that hasn’t been a thing already where they say oh, well…just like these other super-beings that get all their movies and stuff, Santa Claus or Roberta Claus is a super-powered being or a magical being and, as a part of our belief system in this magical being, we believe that things are possible for Santa Claus and maybe Santa Claus’ supporting cast because of the magical powers, and that’d be just amazing and powerful.

 

A lot of these things could be explained.  You say well, how does…they make all those toys?  Well, that isn’t always explained by magic…just by hard work, but how does Santa fly around the world?  Magic.  How do all the toys get delivered?  Magic.  Now, some people would say well, it’s the magic of physics.  This, this, and this, or technology which would be considered magic if it wasn’t a earth-based technology, either technology from our future or from another universe which isn’t really talked about a lot but you say well, what if Santa Claus is not a human being?  Now, that’s not a…something I’m introducing here tonight.  Oh, no, no, no, not at all.  I’m introducing it as an earth-based thing.  Oh, boy.  But that does open up a thing.

 

Now, friendly…whatever, beneficient or whatever that word is, benevolent being from another world, but you know, a lot of times people like to picture Roberta Claus and this…you say oh, well, I project…I can imagine what Roberta Claus is like, trying to take over the reins from Santa Claus who’s from a earlier era as far as our images of Santa Claus are concerned.  But when you start to say well, if it’s a non-mammal or some sort of a non-earth…you say well, similar to a…you say okay, well, that’s tough to picture.  I say well, yeah, I don’t want to make…this is not meant to…I guess I went off-topic there ‘cause I hadn’t really thought about it, but I said well, non-earth technology would be magical and some sense magic, because we wouldn’t understood…wouldn’t understand how it worked and it would be much…it could make any of that possible.

 

I guess it’s another layer of the sandwich I just never realized, and a simple one.  You say, and it could be a simple answer.  Well, what if Santa’s not human and not from earth?  You could say that Santa’s from a galaxy long, long ago and far, far away or whatever, or far in the future or at our time in an advanced…very advanced civilization that loves joy.  Interesting layer of the sandwich to think about, especially if you accept that last point first.  Agenda?  To bring joy to our world.  You say well, what are they doing with the…?  I say unfortunately, yeah, I’m sure that other fictional said well, the joy is powering…just like in those great Pixar movies.  It’s powering their world but in a non-benevolent way, not like the movies.  You’d say well, that complicates my feelings about the holiday season.

 

I say well, it’s just a thought experiment.  It’s not true because I have the truth here tonight.  You’d say well, is any of that true?  I’d say it is one layer of the sandwich.  There’s something magical about the idea of Roberta Claus or Santa Claus which I use interchangeably.  There’s something magic about overcoming our doubts and saying it is possible and it is possible because of magic, so we don’t have to worry about it.  It makes it a…the suspension of disbelief a little bit more palpable.  I would say it’s possible, too.  Also you say well, then maybe that makes it even more possible.  I’d say well, they’re good, then.  You say well, that’s just all the layer you need to think about.

 

You could also…instead of saying no, no, Santa Claus is a human…say, okay, just use superpowers then, if you’re not comfortable with technology from another [00:40:00] world, or magic.  Now, there’s a non-secular phrase that sounds like it’s secular, but it’s…they say the spirit of the holiday season, the spirit of Christmas, the season of giving, the joy of giving…and a lot of times, that could be used…you say well, to help…but you say…but, the joy of getting for children and other adults, sometimes, getting presents.  You say, that’s what I’m in for, the spirit of Christmas and oh, we’re just acting out these roles driven by the spirit of Christmas.  You say well, that’s kinda vague.  I guess you’re saying a following…you’re just following a tradition and meeting expectations and participating in a myth, hopefully joyfully.

 

Is that what your spirit of Christmas says?  I’d say yeah, I guess so, but…and I’d say well, you’re on the right path now.  I hear your thoughts whirring and I’ve led you in the direction I want to, ‘cause you say well, wait a second, are you saying something more?  I’m saying no, no, let’s go back to the world of water.  Now, a lot of people that practice physics and science might say this is stretching things, but I would say that this is all made possible by water.  You’d say okay, what do you mean?  I’d say okay, let’s accept a couple things about water.  There’s water interacting with all of our cells, I think is acceptable.  There’s water even in low…even in places with low humidity, all around us.

 

We’re expiring water, there’s water in our mouths, our…there’s water everywhere and in different formulas, and connected to different things or carrying different molecules, but there’s the molecule H2O.  Water travels; water is a part of these weather systems, water falls from the sky in different ways.  It rises from the ground, it moves through our countrysides, it’s carried in the air, it floats in clouds and fog.  We even carry it in our clothes, you know, or attached to our cars as slush in winter season, for some.  You say okay, water’s everywhere.  What does that have to do with the holiday season?  I’d say okay, you accept that, right?  You accept that water is even in your thoughts.  You say whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m thinking about water now ‘cause you’re talking about it.

 

I say well, whatever…however deep you want to go, water makes that possible.  Thinking about water is made possible by water, believe it or not.  Talk about what a…I say, really?  Is it?  I say oh boy, on many, many levels, thinking about water is made possible by water.  You know, water…it can…isn’t just always H2O, right?  You say well, there’s some things suspended in the water.  There’s…water’s connected to this.  I say well, I got lemon in my water.  Is it suspended?  Is it attached?  I don’t know, but it’s…the lemon’s in there.  Oh boy, that tastes good, or other things, or you say well, I mixed my water in, I made some holiday cookies, or there’s even water in my butter, right?  Yeah, I would say okay, yes, yes, yes, you’re on the right path.  I think you are.

 

Some people associate evergreen trees with the holiday season, correct?  Evergreen trees are evergreen…one of many…not just the only reason, but because of water.  In that evergreen is water and many other wonderful…and you could even say magical properties or learning…because we don’t understand them.  You say okay, I’m sorry, I’m not following you at all of what this has to do…what does this have to do with the holiday season and Santa Claus?  Okay, so, let’s take a couple of the myths of Santa Claus and apply them to water, okay?  Let’s just do that.  Water vapor…moving water, water transmitting across the globe.  You say okay, what do you mean?

 

I say okay, one part of this myth is that there’s some place called the North Pole, and there’s people working on toys and making them for free and then giving them away which you say okay, well, that’s just part of the holiday myth, for sure.  I guess we could think about was that once true?  Or, it’s nice to think about but it’s probably in a snow globe sense true, because I know that I go out and get gifts and those kind of things.  Yeah, okay, okay.  I hear you, or you say well, I’d like to believe it, but do I…?  I’d say okay, well, what if…just like that lemon could be attached to the water…you say, it’s all year-long that it’s attached there, but it’s sitting there in the water, just a small thing, microns of sub-microns, subatomic, possibly.  Maybe elemental.  I’m not sure.  There’s a giving element somewhere in there.

 

You say, you’re…now you’re really…I say okay, well, what if it is circling the globe?  Something about…sometimes it’s inert and sometimes it’s active.  Maybe there’s some other element within people giving that maybe causes that element to subdivide.  Then it’s the idea okay, well, then it says…now, we could call that E1, is the element; Elf 1.  That is the elven…you say okay, are you getting…is that a sub…does it have a atomic…subatomic number?  I’d say, yes.  Its subatomic number is G for giving.  You pause there ‘cause you said well, that’s not…I said, correct.  How many electrons?  I say whoa, this is below those things.  Possibly made up of the joy of dark matter.

 

This element travels around and starts to multiply in the holiday season because of the mechanisms of participation either on a sub-level or a active level.  You say, ‘cause there’s water…you know, when it hits your brain or your heart or your lymphs or whatever, it says oh, wait a second, I feel you feeling that holiday season.  I’m gonna start to subdivide some of these, whatever, E1-Gs or whatever, the giving element of the season.  Now, marketers have known this for a while that the subdivision occurs and it increases activity.  Now, we currently live in a non-barter-based economy for a lot of us.  They’re very far-removed in those things.  If we look at it in a non-judgmental way which takes its own level of cognitive dissonance, we could say okay, this increases economic activity or planning of economic activity around the idea of giving and the production and all those things.

 

Thus, this sub-element, EG-1 as I’m calling it now, is one element…it takes the place of what once was happening up there and makes it possible.  Now, let me just blow your mind for one second.  What if we had a dark matter microscope which never…beyond electrons, beyond the realm of possibility, because you say wait a second, this…one you learn…this is just to explain the physics of it for those physicists that want to pish and posh about this, because folding really opens a lot of possibilities.  What they don’t know about the dark matter or what they don’t talk about and publicize is that what if it’s matter folded in on itself and folded and folded and folded?

 

In that folding, what happens is it does touch on…now, this is just the image of it; because of that folding, it really goes well beyond our understanding because its universe is…it’s touching other universes which we really can’t understand.  You’re gonna have to just take my image for this because the image is true, but also, it’s a image to [00:50:00] explain something that’s kind of beyond our understanding.  But you could say wait a second, that’s…you could have just said that and stopped recording about the holiday season.  But if we were to look at…through our eyes right now, if we were looking…now, I guess this would be a dark matter microscope and on that, with a filter that’s a filter of understanding, what you would see is which…within each of those is a universe of North Poles with these giant communities of elven workers working.

 

They’re a part of a…then you’d get to…you’d have to go way down the…you say well, so, that’s a Christmas-based universe?  I’d say yes, but just like in each of the specials, but that’s…then you’re just going down a rabbit hole.  This is just to explain the fact that yes, on that sub-micron level, yeah, there is an entire universe of holiday season contained within the EG-1 element.  I’m calling it an element even though it’s much smaller than an element.  It’s transferred around the globe by water.  It’s very simple.  That explains the…what…so, the toys are being produced, but within a universe within the EG-1 element, but when that EG element is present and begins to subdivide or you’d say, what does subdivide…doesn’t…I’d say well, it’s a concentrated re-folding which is an expansion of that universe.

 

Really, it’s not a subdivision.  It’s not even a growth.  It’s an increase in mass but again, mass is just a word that you wouldn’t…like, the EG-1 element is gaining mass, but its mass is contained within a universe contained within the…a fold of the element.  So, its mass in our world is not increasing but the power put off by it is, which creates…which multiplies and multiplies seasonally, hence holiday activity increases along with the tradition…you say well, which came first?  The EG-1 or the purchasing of…I’d say well, I don’t know; we’d have to…that would be…that’s…maybe that’s for next holiday season.  I’m not exactly sure.  It transfers around people, but some people react differently which is okay.  Normally you say no, no, no.

 

But we can also see as we look through this magic…it’s not…it feels magical because it’s beyond our understanding, but when we look through this lens attached to this dark matter microscope — we’re calling it DMM — you also begin to see…you say okay, so that’s how the…okay, so then you have Santa…and then that’s how…okay, so that’s a very folded universe.  That’s how those things happen.  You say okay, so then the next myth that’s really hard to understand is that Santa Claus travels the world, goes down chimneys which is…this is just the traditional myth; drops the toys off and vanishes.  How is any of that possible?  I say okay, well, when there’s a buildup related to the passing of time and the feel…it’s…this is…this EG-1 is reacting and folding and constantly up until…it’s more relating less to calendar time and internal human time.

 

It’s very interrelated.  There is an element within there; S…it’s a capital S, lowercase a, and then a capital T.  It’s not SAT.  It’s short for…it’s the Santa element we’re calling it, which is even smaller.  If you were to look again through the microscope into that elven world, you would see a Roberta Claus or Santa Claus-type figure within that world but again…‘cause you’d say well, was it one…?  So, there’s billions of elven worlds?  I’d say no, no, no.  They’re folded within an…again, you say, in some sense there’s only one EV-1 or whatever I said, the Elven Molecule, but it’s really hard to understand how one thing suspended in water could be connected infinite…to infinite numbers, but it is because of the folding which again, you say okay, you’re blowing my mind here.

 

I’d say it’s a bit like a black hole but it’s different ‘cause there’s no suction.  There’s just interconnection.  But that just helps…’cause you would rest…I could say there’s…but then you could bring up, is there an infinite number of elven universes?  I’d say well, that is even beyond my realm of understanding.  That is one of the theories placed forth in…I think in theoretical physics.  Yes, I would say, but in our…our holiday season does not rely upon the infinite number of elven universes occurring at the same time.  It only relies on this one which we’re calling the EV Molecule, or EV-1, whatever I…that…you know what I mean?  It has infinite connections because…it doesn’t have infinite folds because…but it would…you’d say, if you were to analyze the folds, it would take you too long.

 

You’d say, even a…our supercomputers would say whoa, boy.  Where does that fold even go?  I’d say, well, to another…anyway.  I just want to explain that.  There’s really only one North Pole that this EV-1…you’d say, is it connecting to a hub?  I say no, no, no, it’s…anyway, I guess I got off-track.  But as that EV-1 gets…the season activity, giving activity increases, it ejects a new molecule, the SaT molecule, the Santa Molecule.  That happens to be ejected into water vapor right at that time.  What that does is just starts to circulate…I mean, technically, alls it really does is it circulates that…the joyous look on Roberta Claus’ face when children are being themselves in a imperfect way, just as a side note.  You don’t have to be happy in the holiday season.

 

Joy is an option and joy is something you can experience or observe, but you don’t have to be joyful all the time.  Roberta Claus wants you to know that.  Sometimes you get up on the wrong side of the bed on the holidays and even a kid, or you say you have a disagreement with one of your siblings.  Roberta Claus knows that happens and she’s watching.  She’s there and she’s bouncing around, bouncing around the joy, and that’s how those…now, some reason…now, we don’t totally understand this, but something about the activity of the SaT, the Santa Molecule with the EV-1 molecule still present, it does have this…it causes water molecules to spread around the globe.  Now, this is very low-level activity.  Weather satellites cannot pick this up, but it does cause them to float down into communities.

 

It does use some of the atmosphere to travel, and the jet streams, but it’s not solely relying on the jet stream because of the interaction of those two molecules, it is propelling itself on its own.  You say well, what’s the agenda of the SaT molecule?  To observe, experience, and partake and participate in holiday joy.  I can’t break that down physics and universe-wise, but it does descend because…so, that’s why…it says oh, well, if there is a chimney or a roof or a…even one…you say well, that’s our exhaust for our restroom fan.  You say oh, boy.  But that’s how those things actually do go down the chimney, in some cases.  They can also come up through the door or through…we’re talking about…you could carry them in on your clothes or your boots.

 

When you knock off your boots in the right place, those of you that are lucky enough to have a mud room with thingamajigs, believe it or not, if it’s in the holiday season, you’re spreading that holiday joy around.  That’s why people…some people say well, this is something you can spread to other…that’s why people have parties.  I say, isn’t that the reason we do it, we’re being influenced…?  I say no, no, no, this is a participatory thing.  You’re participating…these molecules are participating.  Now, the molecules do need to participate to exist and multiply or even eject the SaT molecule.  [01:00:00] But that’s how it comes down the chimney.  They say oh, okay, if we were in a privileged place of getting holiday gifts…you say well, who purchased…?  Oh no, no, Santa Claus brought them.

 

Roberta Claus came last night down the chimney and brought these gifts here for you to play with.  That’s actually true.  Well, who made these gifts?  Oh, the elves in the North Pole made them.  Actually true.  Oh, well, last night, Santa traveled across the globe and descended and went down chimneys every…now, almost everywhere.  Again, we’re dealing with physics.  I say well, it’s not…or some people say, I’ll pass on those molecules.  Okay, understandable.  That’s the great thing about the molecules; they’re not gonna make you participate.  They say oh, that person’s activity level is different.  Okay, we’ll participate with them on their level, or they say oh boy, this 2020, we’re gonna have to participate with it on a 2020 level.  We’ll meet it where it is.

 

But it answers a lot of these age-old questions with what you would call…if you lived in Scooter’s imagination, facts, F-A…with a…not spelled F-A…they say, this is how…this is the layer of the sandwich you were never aware of ‘til tonight.  You say wait a second, this does answer every single question.  I don’t know if I could explain this…I can’t explain it to myself, but…I say well, this one is here to keep you company.  It’s the layer of the sandwich you rest to.  So, happy holidays and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)