925 – Peeping Leaves and Bonnets

Episode 925 – Peeping Leaves and Bonnets

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and my patron peeps, patrons, I just dug a old…you could call me old Ricola, patrons, ‘cause I just polished off an old Ricola.  It’s time for Sleep With Me.  What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake whether that’s thoughts or feelings or physical sensations.  So, thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about.  Could be about the past, the present, the future, everything.  I say, where do you get all these vivid images from?  Well, we’ll talk about it more.  But thoughts, it could be feelings, it could be anything emotionally coming up for you tied to thoughts or events or just feelings that are there.

 

Could be also physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine.  Just could be your normal routine; you might work second or third or fourth shift.  You know me; I’m getting that shout-out for that fourth shift and also the fifth, sixth, and seventh shifts.  Also when I say shift, it sounds like I gotta make sure I say shift.  Here’s something I’ve never pointed out, but this is something that can keep us awake, is people shifting around in bed, that beautiful lumbering person that may be next to you sleeping so soundly.  Isn’t that always the way?  Sometimes they’re shifting or you could have a four-legged friend or a child that says…that hops in there and says hey, make some room for me, or all of those.  There could be some shifting going on.  Also, wow, this is a early tangent, but this is the truth.

 

This is another thing I haven’t pointed out; so, I’ve always…well, at least in the last…in the history of the podcast, I’ve always lived within earshot of a big freeway.  Normally, in the climb-in closet or in the Harry Potter closet where I record now, I got enough moving blankets and time-of-day-wise, but if I’m sitting outside I can normally hear the freeway, particularly where I am now.  I’m pretty close to a major…a real big freeway.  I think it was the same one at my old place, just a different portion of the same freeway.  The old Nimitz, they call it.  People from the Bay Area…I don’t call it that because I haven’t…but sometimes people call it that, the 880.  Here, they call it 880.  In LA you call it the 710, the 101.  Here, 880.  You don’t say the 880.

 

I wonder if you were…’cause I’ve been using one of the apps to learn Spanish so I’m just wondering how…’cause you’d say well, in Spanish you would say probably the 880, the 710 or let’s see, 880, 580, 101.  But you’d say the 5.  You taking the 5 to the…?  I think when I first moved there…and then in Syracuse when I…well, in Syracuse in New York City, you’d call it by its name.  So I think when I was in LA, I moved from the Bronx to LA by way of Syracuse.  Syracuse, you call it Route 81 even though…and then in New York you’d call it the Henry Hudson or the Cross Bronx.  I don’t even know…I have no clue.  Maybe the Cross Bronx is part of 90 or something.  I don’t frickin’ know, or 95.  Then I say well, should I take the Pomona Freeway?  People would be like, I’m sorry, what?  When I was in LA.

 

Well, I live right off the Pomona…Polona Freeway.  Who?  What?  6?  You mean the 60.  So, those are just a few of the things that…it’s funny; I’ve lived in three places most of my life and all three of them talked about roads in different ways.  Here’s a podcast that’s supposed to be a road off to dreamland.  I don’t know, I think I’ve made 900-something…30 episodes and I never talked about…that I know of.  I think I have talked about it before maybe…maybe not in the intro, but it is a bit like…they say soda or pop or Coke, they call it those three things.  Also, this is in the US.  But let’s see, in the M5, in the…London, in the UK, you’d say the M5, so you’d say the M5.  But I don’t…or the M4.  Sorry.  Okay, the tube.  You don’t say are you gonna get in the…you don’t say getting in the tube.

 

You’d say getting in the tube.  If you’re a fish-head, you’d say which tube are you talking about, man?  Because…first tube…?  I say well, depends on what I’m in the mood…usually first tube, yeah.  I don’t know, but…okay, so where am I?  Oh boy.  Hey, if you’re new, welcome.  What I’m gonna do is I’m trying to take your mind off of stuff and create a safe place where you could fall asleep, whatever’s keeping you awake.  Oh, you know, I went on all that talking not even to get to the point about shifting, so I’ll have to come back to that.  Talk about a meander.  But that’s how I help you take your mind off of stuff.  This is what I propose, and I’ve already done it; so, this is post-proposal.  Thanks for sticking around…is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, and I’m gonna go off-topic so that you…here’s the thing, so you don’t need to pay attention and you can fall asleep.  That’s a couple things you want to know right up front, or ten minutes up…ten minutes is still up front for Sleep With Me.  This is a podcast you don’t really need to listen to.  It’s best consumed like a background noise.  Normally, the freeway’s always going.  Believe me, ‘cause at the beginning of the…beginning…not the beginning of 2020, but the beginning of the 2020 stuff, the freeway was actually quiet for a little while.  I would sit out there and be like wow, it’s interesting.  But otherwise, that thing’s making noise 24/7 and you just kinda tune it out or it becomes a droning background noise.

 

There’s other things; I think it rises and falls depending on the weather and the wind all those kinda things, and the humidity and my mood because if I’m not in the mood for it, suddenly I say well…but so, this is a podcast you kinda let drift into the background as well.  You don’t need to pay attention.  There’s also no pressure to fall asleep.  The reason the shows are about an hour is so you can drift off whenever works.  Ideally, you just fall asleep.  You’re not even aware of it.  You just kinda sit here and barely listen to me until you do.  I take your mind off of stuff and you say well, you kinda did with that stuff about the freeway, naming freeways.  Yeah, that was my Traffic cover band.  It didn’t last very long ‘cause I don’t play any instruments and no one knew what it meant.

 

They said well, why don’t you just call it Jam?  I’d say well, because that would…that’s even more confusing.  I mean, you could call it Traffic Jam but that would be like a band that just does Traffic covers as jams.  Anyway, I can’t go on this tangent ‘cause I got too many…I got…I’m front-loaded with other tangents.  Okay.  So, did you really…?  No, I don’t even know…I was thinking of Wings, actually.  I would have been covering Wings songs as a band named after Traffic.  That would have been even more awkward.  Okay, oh, so where was I?  Okay, so this is not really here to put you to sleep, either.  Just drift off at your leisure.  But here’s the thing; if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to the very end to keep you company, so just kinda see how it goes.

 

But yeah, if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here if you’re up or you wake up, you could turn the podcast back on.  If you need something during the day, that’s another reason to listen, is to barely listen to me during the day.  You say wait a second, I could listen to you when I’m…I can not listen to you whenever I want?  I say [00:10:00] yeah, for most people they fall asleep to it, but we do have a collection of daytime listeners for…I’m barely soothing.  That could be one of my cover names; Barely Soothing.  I guess that doesn’t feel like a cover name ‘cause neither…not very many people are named Barely or Soothing.  But I guess if I was the lead singer of whatever that Traffic cover band that only covers Wings songs would be.  Lead singer; Barely Soothing.

 

You say well, that actually fits because I was here to listen to Wings.  Most people are like, I’ve never heard of any of those bands.  I’d say yeah, they were just a little bit before my time but I’m aware of them.  Paul McCartney was in Wings, I think.  Traffic, I’m not so sure anymore.  But when it popped in my head, I was picturing Paul McCartney as the lead singer of Traffic which I’m pretty sure…maybe Steve Winwood?  No.  Okay, my brain said no.  Anyway, I’ll look into it maybe.  I’ll probably forget to do that.  But so, a podcast you don’t really need to listen to, and it’s a podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep.  I just keep you company as you drift off.  My job is to be your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh if you’re from San Diego and you surf but so, those are two things.

 

The other thing is give it a few tries.  On first listen, most people have a strong, negative reaction.  I mean, not always…or a neutral reaction ‘cause this podcast is very different.  I’m very strange.  I have creaky, dulcet tones and pointless meanders, so just kinda see how it goes at first.  Most listeners that went out of the way to review the show, which is a…very few people do that.  Like, less than 1% or maybe even less than .1% review the show and most of those people said hey, give it two or three tries because first it’s like, what is this?  It doesn’t make any sense and you have to kinda let go.  It never made any sense but once it stops making sense, it made all the sense it needed.  That’s kinda the other thing if you’re having a strong reaction to the show.  Hopefully it works, but give it a few tries and see how it goes.

 

If it doesn’t work for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other options.  Those are those two things.  What else is out there?  What else do you need to know?  Oh, structure of the show.  That could throw people off, is the show’s also structured very differently.  I guess this is a little late to tell you, but I always do this just to help you get acquainted.  The show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary so that you know that you’re welcome and that you’re in the right place and that I’m here to help.  Then there’s some resources for you, the listener, then there’s business.  The ads keep the show free, just a reality thing.  Then there’s a supporter zone, then there’s the intro.

 

That’s like, the first twenty minutes of the show, but most of it is just this intro where I kinda try to introduce the podcast every single time in a different way.  Over 900 times I’ve done this and I’ve never successfully introduced the podcast in a clear and concise way.  What we decided…whatever, 800…no, 750 episodes ago or so, is…oh, wait a second, this works for people because it gives you a chance to ease into bedtime or to get ready for bed or to get comfortable.  The intro for the regular listener gives you some distance between the day and the night.  Some listeners fall asleep, some listeners skip it, but most people, they wind-down with the show.  Hopefully you build your own wind-down routine and the podcast is just one part of it.

 

You know, whether it’s doing something relaxing or playing with those chillaxing figures.  Whatever it is, kinda see how it goes.  Then there’s business, then there’s the story.  Tonight it’ll be…the story will be a surprise for me now because I don’t know what it’s gonna be yet.  Nobody’s told me.  That’s exciting.  Then there’s thank-yous at the end.  That’s the structure of the show.  Earlier, I was trying to talk about shifting because that’s one of the things when I’m listening to the freeway that I can…that…I think I was trying to say could that keep you up at night; shifting, people shifting cars?  ‘Cause it is…it does make a noise when they’re going at a different speed, you know, and they’re making those car shifting noises.  You know, all that stuff.

 

I don’t know, it usually doesn’t bother me ‘cause usually I…that’s when I’m actually enjoying it.  But I’m sure there’s people out there that live a little bit closer or something and it comes in in an inopportune time, in an opportune time for shifting.  That would be…I don’t know, when you don’t touch…I don’t know, ‘cause I never learned to use manual transmission before.  Just another admission, another sign of my imperfections.  I think that’s it, is that yeah, give the show a few tries.  I’m really glad you’re…oh, the reason I make the show.  I make the show for two reasons; one, because I’ve been there tossing and turning, and I want to shift things around because for me it can feel very negative, lonely, and not pleasant.

 

Hopefully I could shift the mood to something neutral, but I could put it in neutral and I guess I wouldn’t be shifting; I would be putting the clutch in.  Oh no, my brain said there’s probably neutral…I say okay, well, taking it out of gear.  Now, if I could shift it…your attention a little bit as you become a regular listener, maybe I could put it in a lower gear and help us wind down.  But at least at first, I just want to be here for you if I can because I know how it feels and I want to change it up.  But the other side of it is you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place where you can get some decent rest, and I want that for you.  If I can help, I’d be really honored to do so.

 

If you get a good night’s rest, the world’s gonna be a better place.  Yeah, I mean, that’s…I guess that’s it, is I’m glad you’re here.  Give this show a few tries, see how it goes.  Believe it or not, I work very hard, I yearn and I strive.  I really want to help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do this for you twice a week.

 

Hey everybody, this is Scooter from Sleep With Me podcast and my job’s normally to take people’s minds off of stuff in a silly, meandering, dull way.  Now, I’m not very zen, but this is a zen-like subject.  Why don’t you close your eyes and hopefully this will make you smile.  I want you to close your eyes and say, leaf-peeping.  It’s hard to say without smiling and even giggling.  There’s something about leaf-peeping that makes me grin.  You could also say…and maybe if you have a sleeping partner in bed or in…roommate, you could say I’m a leaf-peeper.  You could say, I’m a leaf-peeper with joy and pride in your heart and know that that’s someone who peeps leaves and peeping leaves is enjoying the autumn bloom of color.  I don’t know if they’re…I think those are deciduous trees.  I’m not good at that, either.

 

I’m not good at science.  That’s for another section of the times, but let’s just say there’s some trees out there that have leaves that change color in fall, in the fall, here in the Northern Hemisphere.  Let’s not just make it about us, but oh, as you say, I’m a leaf-peeper.  I peep leaves.  You get a smile on your face.  You could also just picture yourself looking at one of those beautiful fall trees or maybe you’re a sentient drone or bird in the sky.  You could be over New England or the Midwest and looking at those beautiful, beautiful autumn colors and the leaves, how they gently float to the ground.  Just say, I peep leaves.  Oh boy, do I, because it’s relaxing and meandering.  Thanks, everybody.  There we are, up in the sky and yeah, we’re peeping leaves.  We’ve done it before.

 

It’s been a few years but this is more a journey of celebration of [00:20:00] leaf-peeping and of leaves, and also curiosity as we land on a branch.  Oh, I didn’t even know how we got here.  Now we’re on the inside of a branch on a tree.  I guess we’re a bird, but we could…you know, you could be…you don’t have to be a bird if you don’t want to be.  Don’t worry.  You could be ether, you could be swinging your legs from the branch, but we’re on a tree that just happens to be…we’re surrounded, full…is it a bloom?  That might be the wrong word.  We’re surrounded by autumn leaves.  Holy moly, I would say.  It is nice in here.  I’m really, really enjoying it.  Thank you tree, for your beautiful fall colors.  I remember — not to tell a tale, ‘cause it’s really nice in here.

 

I wonder if birds other than me that have somehow become a sentient bird…I wonder if birds enjoy this as much as I do.  Once upon a time, and now I don’t live somewhere…I guess I never would have…well, one, I don’t know why I associate this with leaf-peeping, but I don’t have a cable-knitted sweater with a turtleneck, but I feel like if I was gonna go out in the road looking at leaves, ‘cause I won’t overuse that leaf-peeping term ‘cause I want it to retain its silly power, is if I had that cable-knitted sweater…and now, right now where I am in the world where most of us are, it’s time for a fall journey, a journey in our minds and in our hearts.  You say okay, yeah, here I am; I’m sitting at that tree, Scoots.  It’s nice in here.  Oh boy, can you tell us the colors?  I’d say no, because I want you to imagine what you see.

 

Is that a maroon or a brick?  Oh, boy.  As I say incorrectly every time, get Pantone on the phone, or Panatone.  Then someone corrects me and say it’s actually Pantois, and I say oh, really?  It’s not Panatone or Pantone.  I know one of those, I thought, was correct, but I always say the wrong one thinking it’s the correct one.  I wonder if…is there a Pantone or Panatone color for panna cotta?  Because that would just…oh yeah, we’re in the tree.  Here we are, looking.  Oh yeah, we’re seeing a lot of colors.  There’s reddish colors, there’s orange-ish colors, they’re yellow and still a bit of green in a few.  Yeah, there’s even ones…yeah, further on the sunny…the northern-facing part of this tree that are even getting brown and crumbly on the ground.

 

I do wonder, and when I say wonder, I wa-wa-wonder; well, one, I guess I was gonna go remember that I didn’t learn much in school.  I was taught in school by great teachers.  I was not a great student, but I do know we had a lot of lessons about leaves there and what is known as Central New York, a great…Central New York; a great place to peep leaves.  I know that New England’s kinda got that down.  I don’t think anybody…does any town have that sign?  Because you could put it there; you’d just have to get my permission first.  But you know, oh boy, who’s that down there?  Oh boy, hello.  Who are you?  You’re Leafine?  Leafine, nice to meet you.  Now, what we’re seeing here is some sort of goose…giant goose or are you a gander?  You are a goose.

 

Leafine is wearing…so, a giant kinda speck…do you mind if I say you’re speckled?  Speckled in grays and blacks and whites.  Oh boy, Leafine.  You are lovely.  But what captures my attention is what you’re wearing.  You have on a vest made of leaves or are those…it’s a vest with leaves on it.  Oh boy, Leafine.  Then you have a broach.  Instead of buttons for the vest, it’s held together by one large broach.  Is that…oh, I am correct, which nowadays some like me would call it an enamel…it’s a broach but it actually looks like an enamel pin, a giant enamel pin.  It’s in the shape of a leaf.  It’s really nice.  It has all of the fall colors on it and it actually has Leafine spelled in a way that I wouldn’t have spelled it, but Leafine, Queen of the Leaves.  But you’re actually a goose, so I don’t understand.  Oh, it’s a self-given title.

 

That’s interesting, Leafine.  Now, I haven’t finished; you’re also wearing a bonnet.  Talk about something that hopefully you could bring back, Leafine, that really has not…I don’t know when one bonnet fell out of parlance, which means people use it in casual conversation, but people don’t even…you can’t even use it as a metaphor or god forbid, you use it as a…what is that called?  A simile.  I guess it’d be easier to use it as a simile; like a bonnet.  But I guess then you’d be describing a hat that’s like a bonnet.  You’d say well, it’s just a bonnet, then.  But you’re wearing what I would call a bonnet.  Can I say that with definite certainty?  Yes.  Yes, you are wearing a bonnet.  Oh, what’s a bonnet?  My listeners might be wondering, my podcasting brain said.

 

So, yeah, some of you may be familiar with a bonnet and some of you may have forgotten what a bonnet is.  Now, I’m gonna have to go on a little bit of a tangent here before I describe Leafine’s bonnet, is that a bonnet is kind of like…here’s a couple images that we’ll bring and we’ll try to capture…it’s a band shell or a clam shell.  Like the Hollywood Bowl, that’s probably in, at least in the US or the western US, a pretty accessible image, or a giant clam shell.  I think Persephone or someone else…Botticelli maybe did a big…was it Persephone?  I don’t think it was.  But did a goddess…she’s in front of a clam shell, a giant clam shell.  To me, that’s not exactly what I think of, but you say a bonnet is a bit like a shell as opposed to a hat because it goes vertical.  It’s kind of like a hat for the back of your head.

 

Now, nowadays, a lot of people would wear a hat to either protect their face or their eye or their ability to see or their neck or all of those things, a wide-brimmed hat.  I’m sure that we could come up with a…there is a…a sun bonnet is a thing, and I’m just thinking a bonnet would be great to protect your face if your sun is at your back, so I guess a bonnet…that would be one place you’d say, when would you wear a bonnet?  I’d say well, when your back is to the east or the west when the sun is in…behind you.  When the sun is behind you and you want a shadow on your face, wear a bonnet.  Now, an adjust…I don’t…I’ve never heard of an adjustable bonnet, but I’m sure bonnets are adjustable.  Okay, get back to the description, the physical description of a bonnet and then Leafine’s bonnet.  You’re right; thanks, Leafine.

 

You’re really good at redirecting things, too, not just the Queen of Leaves.  You’re really helpful.  Okay, so a bonnet…okay, so picture a clam shell or a fan, but a fan that’s a…well, not a fan because fans are flat and a shell is kind of cupped.  It’s in a shell shape.  But then the base of the shell has a bit of a box or a bit of a hat, so the shell is the brim of the hat and then the…it has a hat that…kinda go around the back of your head.  I guess in the center…oh boy, this is tough to describe.  No wonder bonnets…you say well, if you have to describe a bonnet on a sleep podcast, it probably will take you ten or fifteen minutes which is good in this context, but they’d say how are we supposed to report the news?

 

We gotta get rid of bonnets because no one…other than [00:30:00] baby bonnet, and even then…okay, so I guess the bonnet, you would sit…its…goes behind your ears ‘cause I don’t know, you’re a goose.  Do geese…I’m assuming geese have ears because you can hear me.  So in your case, the bonnet covers your ears, though I’m not positive ‘cause I don’t know a lot about geese anatomy, especially giant geese Queen of Leaves anatomy.  But so, you have the…okay, so there’s…the cup part of the bonnet would be sitting on the center of your head and then the…that would be the shell part.  You’re right; thanks, Leafine.  Then the cup part is against the back of your head.  So, it kinda would be wedged on your head but then of course, now you have a beautiful ribbon on your thing.

 

Also, I think subtly…now, I don’t know if you did this on purpose or not; your hat also is not just evocative of leafs or leaves as we use the actual, proper word, but also a cornucopia because your bonnet is made from some sort of twill or something, but it’s more of an auburn color.  Then you have a ribbon which I don’t know what color.  I’d say that’s a robust ribbon and you’d…even though the robust is not a color; it’s an autumn…a robust autumn color.  You’d say well, you have to say something like a color, Scoots, because this is a…I say well, a robust pumpkin…or pumpkin robust?  Yeah, no; pumpkin…that’s like a robust autumn pumpkin color ribbon which is tied underneath your bill, around your chin, your chinny-chin-chin which isn’t a chin; you just have a bill.  Your billy-bill…but it’s underneath your bill.

 

I guess you do have a chin where your bill connects to your…I don’t know, is that…are you comfortable with me calling that your neck or your throat?  One of the great features of geese.  Does that help you make a gander?  How come…here’s something, Leafine; I don’t hear a lot of talk comparing geese and what are those other things called?  Giraffes anymore.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard it.  I realize yes, you’re birds and mammals and you’re nothing alike, but you are in some sense.  You both have long, slender, and lovely necks.  Also, I’d say well, at least in your case, in geese’ case, maybe swans get the credit for that.  I don’t know, but you’d say…I don’t know.  No one talks…I guess maybe I’m just saying no one talks about geese and what are those things called?

 

Giraffes in the same breath but finally today, I did.  Okay, but yeah, let’s get to your bonnet.  What the biggest feature of your bonnet is I would say a collection of leaves, a bouquet of leaves that you seem to have created.  Did you make that hat yourself?  No, your friend Gilda did.  Wow, Gilda did a great job.  It’s like a bouquet.  What was I gonna say?  Sometimes when you get flowers, they say this, and it’s a fancy term.  Oh, I almost had it, that has to do with a bouquet, but I can’t think of it.  But it has some word that when you’re buying a boutonniere or something…a collection of leaves that looks like a bouquet of flowers and that is lovely in its arrangement on the top of your…not on the top of your bonnet, I guess.

 

I don’t know what the top…the top of your bonnet; is there a…there’s probably a term like flip your bonnet or something.  On top of my bonnet would mean something you drop, like…because it’s on the front…back of your…it’s kinda like it’s growing out of the back of your head, but the…I don’t know what the top of your bonnet is.  On top of old bonnet.  Do you think the Bonneville…?  That was a car; was at the end of bonnets?  They said well, it’s either…Bonneville.  That sounds more like…I don’t know.  That’s like a villain.  Do you come from Bonneville or Bonnetville?  You’d like to live there.  Of course you would.  What if it was more…yeah, what if it was the center of bonnet activity wherever in the world we are?  Maybe that could be a thing.

 

Like, we could get a town that says well, we’re looking for something new.  We were gonna be…we were gonna let one of the candy companies rename us.  I say no, no, we’re not just looking for a naming.  We’re looking to…kind of like the stool boom in…I was gonna say in A Mighty Wind, but that’s Waiting for Guffman that has the stool boom.  But a town that makes bonnets, celebrates bonnets, and sells bonnets.  Of course, yeah, the Bonnet…Bonnet Top Cafe or Bonnet Top Brewing, I guess would be…that could be where you could get your suds.  I don’t know if we have a…we could have a autumn festival.  What do you think about that, Leafine?  Celebrate…we could do it somewhere that has great leaf-peeping and people could come there.  You could be the hostess or the…you could be the queen.

 

I think this…you’re nodding your head because this is…is this what you’ve dreamed?  You never dreamed of this, but I think we could make this come true.  What would be the pieces?  We’d need a town.  We’d need a town, maybe a town that has…already has one established hat-making business that’s been waning which I don’t know.  I mean, I don’t know…are fedoras in or out right now?  You say well, yeah, we’re the top fedora producer.  It would be good for the town ‘cause they could adjust it.  They could say they’re the bonnet capital of the world, but then you could still make fedoras in the off-season.  Easter bonnet is a term that I’ve heard before.  I’ve heard baby bonnet, Easter bonnet, leaf bonnet.  We’ll have to…autumnal bonnet still doesn’t have a ring like Easter bonnet.

 

Easter; so, it ends in a hard and it’s too bonnet.  I don’t know what we could come up with; hollow bonnet.  No.  Turkey bonnet, but we…that doesn’t make any sense.  We’ll figure it out.  Okay, so we have…we’ll get a town that makes bonnets or that would be interested in it.  I guess we’d need people…bonnets would have to be in, but not really.  If bonnet is a…here’s the thing; this is a little podcast…behind-the-podcast, Leafine, and you know it already.  I just gotta point it out because you’re…whatever.  I don’t know what the right…I had a word, but you love leaves, clearly.  Those are merely the vehicles to connect us with joy.  While bonnet…our new bonnet capital of the world, Bonnetville…we won’t call it Bonnetville, but for the time being…we’ll just call it B-town for now.

 

While B-town would be a place that would depend greatly on bonnets, really, it would be people’s experience with people that love bonnets and bonnet-related businesses and bonnet-related celebrations.  Probably could have four a year.  Definitely like a Dickens Fair in the winter for the holiday season.  Holiday bonnet; that works.  Then in the fall, this would be our biggest one because again, you could…we could make it around leaf-peeping.  Plus, you say well, you know what the best way to look at leaves anyway is with the sun at your back.  The best way to keep your…keep the sun off of you is a high collar and a bonnet when the sun is at your back.  Otherwise, the bonnet really doesn’t do anything.  Unfortunately, if it rains, the bonnet will only put more rain on…it won’t… it doesn’t help.

 

But we now have adjustable bonnets at Bonnetville.  Okay, so we’ll have our town.  I would like to have just…and now, I don’t want this job because obviously, I got stuff going on and plus, this is not really my personality, but I think one, either…I think having gas lamps would be nice because it just adds some ambiance, or candle lamps, but in the streets.  I’m talking about the street lights.  [00:40:00] Then I think having someone walk through the town with a lantern…now, I don’t know if that would be a lamp-lighter or just a…the person…it could be a community thing where it makes everybody feel comfortable.  Definitely cobblestone streets.  You’re right, thanks.  But they could go through the town at quiet time.  We’ll say quiet time’s 10:00 PM even though you might be at, whatever; Bonnetville Brewing’s open until 1:00.

 

I don’t know, because I’ll be in bed.  But like, a night…whatever they say.  They go through the streets and they say the time and they say…maybe after quiet time, they don’t say any…they say listen to the rustling of the leaves on the streets and the cobblestones.  Oh boy, it’s the perfect time for a evening cider at your B&B, at the different…they could even say the…don’t forget tomorrow morning, 11:00…but what would we do for brunch…?  Not a candy apple or a caramel apple for brunch.  Whatever; french toasted apples.  Then make your candy and caramel apples after noon.  Don’t worry, we have a dentist tent set up for those of you that have…that candy or carameled apples impact.  All-inclusive, by the way.  That would be our night leaf person.  That’s another thing.  You like that idea.

 

Okay, so then yeah, apple bobbing, hm, I don’t know.  I don’t know if apple bobbing’s ever a thing that needs to come back.  But we could have apple-grabbing, which I think…we just get those things used to pick up cans.  I had one of those and I don’t have it anymore, but it had…where you push it down.  It’s like little pinchers and you pick up garbage and cans with it.  That might be more fun because we could…then you could do stuff like…you could put the…you could put…you could grease the apples.  Greased apple-grabbing.  That would be great.  It would be like, how many can you grab?  Then you could feed the apples to some sort of being that…it’s like oh, this is friendly…we’re gonna feed the apples to these, whatever, farm pets or whatever.  Farm friends.

 

Don’t worry, it’s totally good for them.  We used, whatever, natural grease.  I think another thing I would like to see…now again, we’d have to do this…maybe we could do this right at the edge of a forest.  If we have a town that is like, with old, big trees, I guess deciduous trees, of course, that would be really good because that would make it…we could do stuff…artists…artisan well.  No wishing in the artisan well because that’s where the water would come from.  I would like to do this; now, I don’t know if you’ve read any Murakami before, Leafine, but what about…and this is…we’ll do this supervised, but you could…what about readings from the bottom of a well?  Not just Murakami, but you have…you get to sit around the well, an author goes to the bottom of the well, only authors that are comfortable and believe me, we’ll have…this will be all supervised, all engineered.

 

This will be a dry well or a slightly moist well because that’s gonna have…I just feel like that would have better sound.  This wouldn’t be our artisanal well or our wishing well; this would be our Well of Words.  That’s what we would call it, the Well of Words, 4:00 PM, Stephen King reading from this or this.  Murakami…I mean, Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, readings from a…they would do it…you would sit at the top of the well and listen as they were reading from the bottom of the well.  Yeah, maybe you could…I don’t know.  Their super-fans could have their ear to the…my ear’s to the well.  Oh, boy.  That would be another…that’s…I mean, that’s an out-of-the-box idea, but what does that have to do with bonnets?  It’s just a celebration of the…it’s bonnet-adjacent, I guess I would say, Leafine.

 

Thanks for pointing that out.  You could read leaf-based poetry.  I guess you couldn’t do it in the winter, but in the spring and maybe the summer, it’d be cool down there.  You have seasonal readings.  I guess you’re right, we have the tide and more.  You could also have dinner for two down there for people at dinnertime, so that would be another way, and that could be on the county or the city property.  Again, you say well, we’re leasing that out…like a pop-up restaurant for two and everything comes down in a bucket.  That would be pretty cool for people that are into that which I would be.  I would say well, I eat down there alone, but I prefer that by candlelight.  Maybe not candlelight.  Leafine, we would do some engineering, so we would keep some airflow.

 

We’d figure out…we’d figure all that out.  I also think it’d be…a town square would be important, or a town green where there could be performances.  I think one would be…maybe there could be performances that are competitive.  There’d be giant leaf piles, obviously.  That would be fun.  I think one thing would be…this again might not make any sense but so, if we had giant trees around the times…the town square and those leaves were losing…those leaves were falling off the trees, they’re changing colors, you could have slacklines or whatever they call it.  What do they call that?  What do they call it?  Tight-rope walking.  Again, we’d do this again in a legitimate, safe way.  This isn’t just something I’m putting together in my mind, making up as I go along.  I mean, this part is, but this is the brainstorming.

 

But you could have…it could be…again, this is the subtle way we make this sustainable.  This would be the…I guess we could do slacklining.  I don’t know the difference between tight-rope walking and slacklining, but what we…what I’m picturing is that the slackline which is like a tight-rope but it’s slack; I don’t know if there’s…what other differences there are.  I’m not trying to take away from it, but I think it would make it interesting.  Of course, we’d have something underneath to catch people, but that they’re carrying armloads of leaves.  This would be the foremost world…the world…slacklining, leaf-crossing championship.  Who can move piles of leaves from one platform to another platform?  We’ll weigh them.  Anything that gets dropped, you don’t get credit for.

 

I think of course we’d have some puppet shows.  That would be good.  I think again, we invite…we figure out a way to heal the past, so we look at…we say okay, what is the history of this land where we’re hosting the festival and before this town was formed?  Before colonists came, what was happening in this land?  We make that a part of it.  Of course, some people have…what are you…they say okay, well, think about it this way; one, this is part of the richness of this area and the more and more we make it about everybody, the better it is.  But you could also say to somebody that might object, you say how long you frickin’ think that…what do you think the tree…the trees have seen everything.  Let’s make everything that the trees have seen a part of this.

 

Again, there could be a…also, separate from that, an historical walk.  What have these trees seen?  That could be one thing.  That could be a all-encompassing, historical walk of the area and of the region, and largely looking…wherever in the world we host this, you say well, let’s look at a broader version of what…where we are in the world.  I also think there’s a…that we…on another trail…so, we could have multiple nature…already-established trails, but another trail would also pick up on that in a positive way of healing for individuals and, broader as a society, would be what have these trees [00:50:00] seen?  Again, it’d be something poetic about it where you go out on your own.  You could do it as a family, but that’s kind of like…this is a time for you to be alone with yourself.  That could be our wishing well.

 

If we have a dried-up well that happens to be on a nature trail surrounded by trees that are of varying ages and beautiful leaves, you could go out on those trails and then you would drop your thing at the bottom of the well.  Maybe each year we would sell a container to say hey, this is what I’m making…I want to make amends for this year.  I know the trees have seen it.  Now, though, you wouldn’t sign it.  Now, the thing would be that each capsule would have a year on it, so every year there would also be an opening of those capsules and we would front-load it so, whatever, we’d figure that out so that at different stages on the walk, along with…I think informed practices, professionally informed practices that help with this healing process would be set up so you would, again, see that the trees have already…you say well, yeah, no, I did that, too.

 

I spat at someone once and you see that people…that we’re all not perfect and the trees and leaves…maybe not the leaves have seen it.  Maybe the trees would say, the leaves haven’t seen that, man.  They’ve only been around since the spring.  Yeah, I know, but I was thinking of the broader leaves in a broader sense.  I think another layer of this…not just thinking about the human history of the area, but also the natural and the wildlife history of the area; is there a way to celebrate the wildlife of the area to empower people to connect with…make a deeper connection not just to the trees but the entire ecosystem of that area in a way that subtly teaches and subtly grounds?  Oh, sorry Leafine; you had a question.  Oh, what does this have to do with bonnets?  Oh, boy.  Huh.  Well, you’re right.

 

Again, that’s kinda my job though, is to go pretty far-field.  Here’s an idea if it has to be…if I have to come up with some bonnet-specific ideas; well, there could be…this would be…this is a easy one, so you probably already thought of this, so I’m just telling you what you already know.  I think we have a lot of…and I think there should be prizes, but they don’t just have to be for best, and they could be age and subject matter-driven bonnet competitions.  Again, you could say okay, seven-year-old children bonnets.  Then you could have…okay.  Then you could have seven-year-old children, you got your autumnal bonnet, you got your fictional bonnet, functional bonnet.  Maybe functional…I don’t know.  Educational bonnet, historical bonnet competition.

 

Now, that’s just not…that’s just a…now here’s the best part, is there’s a bonnet march.  I think the bonnet march is something for the participants and for the viewers and the judges.  Now, the end of the bonnet march and the beginning of the bonnet march would go by the judging panel, but that would be more a part of the common circumstance ‘cause the judges would also be able to look at the bonnets on another occasion, maybe.  Of course, in the middle, we’d have build-your-own-bonnet, obviously, of course.  But not only that; they would march around for a while because one, that creates this…what they call that thing where it’s like, kinetic motion.

 

That’s always important in these kind of things, but also, the fact that…I don’t know, it’d be fun to parade around in your bonnet and they’re all lined up, every age.  Maybe there’s songs and music, bonnet-based music, and again, seasonal music as well.  But you go on a bonnet march.  Maybe you go through those two trails or any other trails.  I don’t know, it’d just be nice to suddenly see a row of adults or children wearing subject-based bonnets and coming by.  I’ll tell you what; if I was a judge, I would put your bonnet or your friend…the bonnet you’re wearing that your friend made…then yeah, of course we’d have it…you’re right, Leafine.  Yes, there would be a stage, bonnet-based performances, bonnets in history, bonnet-building workshop.  I guess we’d…I’d need to know, actually, the history of the bonnet, too.

 

That would probably be helpful ‘cause you say actually, the bonnets…got this…Scoots…oh boy, did you wade into one, here.  I say whoa, the unknown history of the bonnet.  I’d say, no wonder it doesn’t…maybe we…maybe they say well, these are the latest…you could give…you could have talks.  This would probably be a side stage ‘cause this would be more what I’d be suited for.  You say okay, this is recent innovations in the bonnet as doctor…Professor Crupshure talking about recent…I say, can you keep it to thirty…?  Oh no, my talk’s one hour and forty-five minutes.  What is that, like, the last…?  No, that’s just the bonnet innovations this year.  You’d be surprised.  Then of course, we’d have leaf-peeping excursions.

 

Like, bonnet fashion shows, but that kinda would…that might run in with the bonnet parade, so we’d have to figure that out, but you know, this year’s launch of our town’s new bonnet collection.  Then you could have…I’m not good at thinking up puns and stuff, but you could have t-shirts, that’s…when my bonnet’s twisted…I guess a bonnet…touching bonnets, ‘cause if you kiss, would your bonnets touch or no?  Probably stick to some other subject.  You’re right; keep it…well, that’s family-friendly.  I don’t know.  I don’t know how many myths we have of…The Little Bonnet that Could.  I don’t know, those are just some ideas I had.  Oh, I was think…but yeah, you’re right, I should just sit here with you, Leafina.  It was so good meeting you.  That’s why I got distracted and carried away.

 

But yeah, sometimes I get carried away and I don’t think to notice all of the beauty here; where we are, sitting in this tree.  What about bonnet races?  Like, blindfolded bonnet races?  What about apple throws?  Okay.  Leaf-sweeping, the greatest…who could sweep the leaves faster?  Then you could say hey, parents, this is something you could do at home.  Hint, hint, free chores.  But you’re right, Leafine, that sometimes we just have to slow down and take a look at the leaves and just sit here and imagine the sounds of wind traveling through leaves or wind moving leaves.  How lucky we are, really, to experience those things.  Sometimes you just miss out.  Like, what if I didn’t stop and notice your vest?  Taking the time to notice people that wear seasonal vests is something that’s really a underrated joy.

 

Vest-peeping does not sound like something you should be doing, but vest…appreciation of seasonal vests is something we could do more of.  You say wow, that…it’s not just teachers that are wearing seasonal vests.  I’m sure there’s other people that have seasonal vests on that would like them appreciated.  Why did…oh, ‘cause I noticed your vest.  Yeah, Leafine.  Your vest, you probably could wear it…oh, those are real leaves, so you probably can’t…at some point it becomes non-functional.  Really need a vacuum or something.  Say Leafine, leave your vest outside, please.  You say, what do you got…what, did you have some leaves blowing here?  No, Leafine was visiting.  Her vest was shedding.  Bonnets; I know I’ll be on the lookout for a bonnet.

 

I mean, probably the next time I see one would be in a cartoon from the 1930s to the 1950s, but you know…or Bonneville.  There’s another thing.  Or we could notice the leaves.  You’re right; the…of what I was saying before, the leaves in the trees, all the colors…I mean, how wonderful is it to be in a place or to be able to access a place where the colors…you could see or the colors you [01:00:00] could imagine greatly outnumber the vocabulary words?  You say, how many numbers are in Pantone?  Is it four or five or six?  Because I don’t know what the multitude of combinations is of gradations.  I say well, almost…I say well, oh boy, you’re…might be four, two, one, two, four, five, six, four to Pantone, but to me you’re beautiful an I just want to sit here and not think about naming you and just move my eyes across…maybe imagine a valley or a hill rolling with trees.

 

Say wow, I haven’t been here before.  I’ve really missed you.  There’s times I drove by and I say well, just like this podcast, it kinda pulls you out of yourself and says hey, just take your time and notice.  No hurry, but just stay here a while.  You don’t even have to think about the metaphor that…or like the changing of the leaves simile you might want to use.  You could just stay here with us.  Maybe you take…you say well, Americans peep leaves.  I’m gonna soak leaves in.  What’s the slow version of leaf-peeping?  Leaf-peeping.  That’s what I’m going to do now.  So, thank you, Leafine, and thank you everybody out there for letting…for this reminder of how nice it is to…and how sometimes that might be something we have to look at in our minds or look through some pictures of or scan our memories for or our imagination right now.

 

Maybe we can’t go on a leaf-peeping expedition right this moment, but we can…peeping the leaves of my mind as…I don’t know if that was…was that James Taylor that said that?  Oh, the wisdom of peeping the leaves on your mind.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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