921 – Return to Biscuits Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep C6/S9 E1 Part 2

EPISODE 921 – Return to Biscuits Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep C6/S9 E1 Part 2

 

 [START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster that believes clay’s gonna make a comeback, and I’m talking about clay.  You say Scoots, clay didn’t go anywhere.  I say well, it seems like there’s more…it used to just be clay.  Now there’s modeling clay.  What about just clay?  Plain clay; that’s what I’m talking about.  It’s time for just plain clay to make a comeback and patrons, you’re the ones that make it possible for this nonsense, so thank you so much and let’s get on with the show.

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, so thoughts, things on your mind, feelings, so anything coming up for you emotionally, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time.  Anything that you’re thinking about, anything you’re experiencing emotionally or feeling physically or any of those.  Those are some things that keep me up at night, but it could be other stuff.  I’m only laughing ‘cause I said wait a second, all those things at different times, but I won’t get into it.

 

Or it could be changes in time, temperature, outside noise, partner noise, pet…anything.  West end boys…east end girls and west end boys.  I mean, I do hear from people that live in…above stuff and you say, it’s so noisy down there or you say, is that a 80s song reference, Scoots?  I say, maybe.  I don’t know.  I mean, I think so.  I think it was in maybe the 90s.  I don’t know.  Pet Shop Boys, right?  That’s not the…is that not who sang that?  I don’t think it is because it wouldn’t make sense.  I think…was that Londonbeat?  I’m not sure.  I know I’ll think of it later and be embarrassed.  But so, where was I?  Whatever’s keeping you awake, whatever it is, I’m gonna try to take your mind off of stuff.  What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.  I’m gonna go off-topic and…oh, extra words, believe me.

 

But really, what I’m gonna do…what did I…creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders.  Oh yeah, extra words, confusion, profusion of confusion.  I haven’t trademarked that, but…‘cause there’s not really many other uses for it.  I don’t know, we could use it…you could use it in your own life ‘cause you say, what…how am I feeling?  When you’re doing a check-in, I don’t know if a lot of people do that but I’ve been trying to set more time aside for that, a little few minute check-in.  I say well, what am I feeling?  Can I label some of these feelings or…well, I’m feeling a profusion of confusion.  Could that be…are there any…does anybody listen that makes dating apps?  Is there a dating app where you say what your mood is or maybe just in general, ‘cause that…you say well, what’s my mood?  A profusion of confusion.  Or you could say…’cause people use it when you’re sweating, right?  They say, I’m sweating profusely.

 

I’m profusely confused.  I have confusion pouring out my pores, and that’s just a matter of fact.  If you feel that way, if you’re profusely confused, you’re in the right place.  You may be…that may be meta.  If you’re new, you could be confusing…you could be having a profusion of confusion.  You could be confounded, too.  Confounded by Scoots can sometimes result in a confrown…confrownsion, too.  Also, I overuse words.  If you’re new, let me check-in with you here because…just in case a confound…confunction…confrownsion’s happening.  That’s when you’re so confounded by me, you frown.  As a normal…here’s the thing; totally normal reaction to this podcast.  Not out of the ordinary at all.  A lot of people have that reaction.  In fact, in the high 90 percentile, the first time you listen, this podcast is very different and hopefully it stays very different in a good way so all my people that are listening that have been listening for three, six, nine hundred episodes, thanks for being there for me and I’m glad I can be there for you.

 

Whether you’ve been listening…this is your first listen or your thousandth, it can be confounding, but especially the first few.  The best advice I can give you, is I just read a review that said just kick back and let the magic happen.  I would just say, but it won’t…it will be like a magician setting up tricks.  One time I went to see a team of magicians; two magicians, and it was in LA when I volunteered at the Anthony Quinn Library for the summer program, and the librarian had hired two magicians.  This was when I was a youngster.  I was like, twenty-two, twenty-three.  The two magicians arrived and they were somewhere between sixteen and twenty-four.  I really don’t know.  They were…I thought they were great, but they also…the kids kept catching their tricks, a little bit.  But I also thought…I had to watch them set up and stuff ‘cause I was a volunteer.

 

I guess my point is that this podcast is…if you let the magic happen, it’s like letting the magician…if you get to a magic show early and you’re watching the magician set up their tricks but you’re not trying to figure the tricks out, you’re just like huh, stuffing a…what, are you stuffing a…what is that called?  A string?  No, it’s a rope…into a bottle.  Pleasant watching you do that.  I’m not even gonna ponder what that trick is for or if you’re…if it’s an illusion or magic.  I’m just watching you…I’m just watching a magician set up.  Not everybody has the brain to do that.  I do, unfortunately.  I mean, some…I guess ‘cause I’m always surprised.  I could watch a magic trick…I’m just one of those people…I watched all those specials.  I talk about this on the intro all the time and then I see it again; I say, I can watch one of those magic…behind the magic person or whatever.

 

I mean, I have to…as long as it’s five years apart, I say wait, how are they gonna do that again?  I say, I have no idea.  Then a lot of times, I watch it and I still say how did they…what?  What in the…?  For a little while, I thought David Blaine was magic.  Even when I was watching those…even though I knew it wasn’t, I said this is like magic.  But this would be the other side of it; you’re still like, this isn’t magical watching you set up, but I’m not really paying…I’m barely paying attention to you setting up your tricks.  If you could consume the pod…I know that’s confusing and maybe confounding and perplexing, but if you could consume the podcast in that way, kind of a kicked-back, uninterested way, that’s the…that was one piece of advice I got recently from a listener, and give the show a few tries.  Kinda barely pay attention to the podcast.  This is a podcast you barely listen to.

 

It’s also a sleep podcast that’s not really here to put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company as you drift off.  The shows are about an hour so you have plenty of time, or if you can’t sleep, I’m here to keep you company to the very end.  Whether you’re awake or asleep, I’m here for you.  Those are a couple things.  What else do I need you to know?  A podcast you don’t listen to, a podcast here to keep you company as you drift off.  Oh, structurally what to expect, this can throw new listeners off and I guess understandably.  The show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and my beautiful bakers because tonight we’re doing the Great British Bake-off or Great British Baking Show.  That’s the greeting so you feel welcome.  This is a welcoming place.  Then there’s the business.  The business is about six minutes or something.  Sometimes I ramble more.

 

That’s how we’re able to bring the podcast twice a week to you.  Then there’s an intro where I ramble for about twelve to twenty minutes.  Some new listeners can have…they don’t know where the business ends and the intro begins.  The intro is where I introduce the show, explain how it works and never get…I barely ever get to a point because I go off-topic so much.  You kinda get an idea of what to expect.  For the first twenty minutes, I’m here keeping you company and explaining you what the podcast is.  I mean, just to go back to that magician; if they were saying yeah, well, here’s what I’m doing; I’m stuffing a rope in a bottle and later what I’ll do is I’ll be tying some knots on this here rope and I may…you may notice that the rope…the bottle…this is the old bottle-climbs-the-rope-trick.  Not a trick, though.  It’s not an illusion; it’s…the bottle climbs the rope.

 

Also, I like to add some comedy in, so I’ll also have a misdirect where…I have a double misdirect where I…the trick fails twice [00:10:00] and then on the third time, the one time the bottle doesn’t…the bottle deflates.  Then another time, the rope does…the rope barks at me like a dog.  At that point, you may tune out.  I mean, unless you’re really into magic and understanding magic…I’m more appreciate…I appreciate it.  I don’t have the dexterity to be doing magic.  I mean, except for the magic of keeping you company and taking your mind off of stuff, but that’s a whole different illusion.  I do it with the gummies in my brain.  What was my…oh, the intro’s a bit like that.  For a new listener, it can really throw you off but for a regular listener, it’s something 90…high 90 percentile of listeners enjoy listening to.  There’s nothing wrong with not liking the intros.  In fact, you could skip them.

 

Regular listeners either start the show at twenty minutes or they subscribe on Patreon where they get story-only episodes.  But for most listeners, the intro is part of their wind-down routine or their bedtime routine.  They’ll start playing it before they get in bed or as they’re getting in bed, as they get comfortable, as they’re doing some sort of other wind-down, or some people are falling asleep right now.  Goodnight.  You look so cute there.  Poofity-poofity-poo, I just went…my magic wand and…oh, there’s where the bottle is.  That bottle popped out of my magic wand.  That would be a magic trick.  Then they catch it and it’s like a real glass bottle.  Some magician listening, you could do that.  You could figure out the magic part of it, but I would clap for that.  I would be like oh my goodness, that’s a real bottle.  There’s no way it could fit in a magic wand.

 

Because it’s glass, I would assume that there’s no sort of trickery because you can’t really…I say, how did that person do that?  I thought it was gonna be flowers.  Oh, sorry, I’m in the middle of a podcast intro.  Just see as you start to become a regular listener, you can kind of adjust and see how you like to listen to the intro, but just realize the intro’s here to give you some distance away from the day and to start to drift away because for me, I know I can’t fall asleep right away.  It just never has worked for me.  Anything that involves someone else telling me or some sort of step-by-step process where at the end of it, I’m supposed to be asleep; it doesn’t work.  It’s more like slowly turning down the volume.  That’s really what the intro is here for.  It’s long and dragged out because I want to get away…it’s…I don’t know, I think that makes sense.

 

Then there will be some business between the intro and the episode, and then we will talk about the Great…the second half of the first episode of the ninth…I don’t know, we’ll talk about part of an episode of the Great British Baking Show or the Great British Bake-off.  Oh boy, will it be a treat.  I think as…it’ll be rolling like a wagon wheel.  That’s the…oh, and then the show ends with thank-yous.  That’s the structure of the show.  I think the only other things you need to know is that…let’s see.  Oh, yeah, give the podcast a few tries.  The reason I make this show; because I’ve been there.  I know how it feels tossing and turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.  I just want to help if I can.  Then also, you deserve a good night’s sleep.  It’s just a fact, and I would like to live in a world where you’re rested and you’re flourishing.

 

If I could take part in that and help, it’s great, but if you’re doing it, that’s even better.  You getting to live the life…you know, your life more fully, holy cow.  That’s really an honor to assist in that in any way I can.  That’s it.  That’s the structure of the show.  I think that’s everything you need to know other than give it a few tries, see how it goes.  You got nothing to lose, really, I mean except for frowns.  That’s a common experience.  I’m glad you’re here.  I really appreciating you checking this show out, all you regular listeners.  I love you.  Thank you so much for coming back time after time and supporting this podcast and your appreciation.  I couldn’t do it without all of you.  I work hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really want to help you fall asleep.  Here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do this for you twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots.

 

We’re talking about the Great British Bake-off and we’re talking about Series…or Collection 6 on Netflix.  In the US it’s called the Great British Baking Show and we’re talking about Biscuit Week…Biscuits Week, Episode 1.  We’re talking about the second half of the episode but first, I’m gonna kinda run through all of my written notes ‘cause I’m still getting a feel for how we’re gonna do this to make it the most sleepy and enjoyable.  Yeah, I’ll run through all my notes and then we’ll run through the episode.  Maybe that way I can get a little bit more into the visuals with it making even less sense.  That way, you say well, I didn’t listen to Part 1 of Episode…so, Episode 1 has two parts and also, the seasons don’t correspond in England and the US.  I’d say well, the UK or just the non-US…yeah, because I guess there’s a company in the US that likes to have Great British…Great…you know, they have bake-offs.

 

Imagine if I started The Easy Bake Show.  They’d shut me right down, another company, probably.  Okay, so it opens with the…I still haven’t done the research but I’ve seen enough of the Great British Bake-off to know it starts with a little comedy with Sandy and Noel.  They do Doc Brown and Marty McFly.  Also remember that biscuit is kinda like a cookie.  August 28th to August 30th, 2018.  Then we see lambs, plants, and ducks, nature, sun, stream, a peaceful place.  Wish I felt peaceful, someone says, inside.  Nerve-wracking; not as stressful as my thesis.  Surreal.  They don’t…the actual…but people…oh, there’s more people have been in space than in that tent.  Twelve new bakers, thirty challenges.  Great goal…once the Great British Baking Show…sky shot, fields, flowers, music, voice-over.  It’s Sandy, all smiles.  Hello.  Twenty-four regional biscuits.  So stylish.  Everyone looks great.  Comedy, rules at the same time.

 

A little much, a little much for Noel.  Two hours, bake, action, butter.  Difficult to make in the rules.  Repeat twice.  This is like a recipe for how to make a confusing podcast recap.  Butter out, expectations, profiles, perfection.  First baker; Briony.  Empire biscuits, yellow stained glass, cool shirt.  Bristol twist, regional biscuit.  Sandy gives love.  Briony and daughter, Play-Doh, lots of laughs.  Then the artwork; apple cider example, crystallized apple slice, vanilla shortbread.  She has boiled egg yolks, teaches Paul who is not super-nice.  Sandy vio, lemon by…duck paired with…oh, Dan.  Duck paired…park with kids.  Lemon Shrewsburys, Noel rolls up to chat, jokes, so nice.  Manon; cottage cream, eggs and family, Gaelic flair, hazelnut Cornish shortbread, Brittany and France, clotted cream.  Ruby; dried herbs, cream substitute, trains in boxing, killer combination of cardamom, clove, and cinnamon.  Let’s see, Devon flats, soft, medium.

 

Oh, I put Julian even though it’s Noel ‘cause I get those two…vio, warning, coconut and fennel.  Rahul; Paul gives him a hard time, talks too much.  Question mark, love his shirt, white and blue faded stripe denim shirt.  Nuclear scientist!!  Exclamation point, exclamation point.  Dad wants him to get a haircut.  Pithikid tee bannock, whole fennel, and even Sandy gives him a hard time about talking.  Imelda; Northern Ireland, hearty oats, cherry and white chocolate oatmeal biscuits, wholemeal flour.  Sandy and Paul talking BM, Luke like a citrusy…civil servant, DJ and Sheffield, balance the lime and ginger.  Also has a good shirt.  [00:20:00] Noel, spoil, line, mountain, one hour.  Oh, spotlight.  What’s my line?  That’s what that says.  Great comedy team.  Vio, size, shape, sandwich biscuits, twice the work.  Antony…Bollywood, turmeric and caraway, Goosnargh cakes in shape of a…what is that called?  Is that paisley?

 

Mango chili, he dances with Sandy.  You’re the most fun person.  Start to chill the dough.  Resting the dough, talking clips and sauce.  Jon; Aberffraw biscuit.  Jon, wife, and kids sailing and eating.  Something buttercream shortbread shell.  Butterscotch buttercream.  That was…I marked that as one of the many uses of alliteration.  Kim-Joy has an awesome Popsicle shirt, cool purple-blue hair…tips on her hair, talks about bath and hair-conditioner-taster like I am, orange blossom, orange blossom York biscuits.  White rose, Lovejoy, cracks up Noel, antiques dealer.  Karen’s white rose…she’s a product promoter.  Yorkshire parkins with mace, Wakefield.  Terry; little lambs, his horse won’t go.  Terry; Lake District ginger shortbread.  Intro over…voice-over, voice-over about the risks.  A kiss goodbye.  Eyes and talk on over-watch.  Try not to stress or panic.  Something…exterior shot.  Sandy; radio fun, blue radio prop.

 

Out of order sequence batch.  Speed it up; it’s hot in here.  Piping and decorating, five minutes left.  Tie…snack time while everyone else flies.  Tea, chocolate troubles, then this is underlined; people help one another.  Wow.  Set the mood time…all sitting, voice-over of a judgement.  Antony; colors, loves the psychedelic.  Him and Prue match.  Paul chews a lot.  Happy, well-done.  Prue and Julian…I made that mistake again…both eat and run.  Her blue glasses, dresses, and necklace pop, bracelets match.  Pot noodle, Jon under-cooked…extremely neat, Manon.  Prue cracks her crack and pop.  Fantastic.  Manon says, the milk is here.  Jon cheers her on…like owl feathers.  Twenty-five…I’m bad at maths.  Take tea, Dan, tough, isn’t it?  Oh, isn’t it.  Yeah, that was one of those things.  Terrible.  Terry, this is interesting, like a Warhol print…had great flavor…a ruffled biscuit.  You can do it.  Ginger nut.  You can breathe now.  More chats.

 

Indeed, very oaty.  Delicious.  Looks good; uniform shortbread today.  Blows your mind.  Prue, use a fork.  Wrong biscuit, wrong time.  Lambs, a second mystery.  It’s time for the technical challenge.  Off you go; bouncy castle joke.  Get your wagon rolling.  Do not P-A-N-I-C.  Vio…all the same ingredients; wagon wheel.  Prue and Paul have tea and talk wagon wheels without worrying…prep time.  Sandy’s never had a wagon wheel.  Tried a hot noodle before.  He’s speechless.  Knead the dough.  Marshmallow…Sandy gives him…mixer to mellow.  One hour gone.  Seven centimeter circles.  Bake for twelve minutes.  Gone on biscuit.  Greatly cooking…oh, gently cooling chocolate worries.  Chocolate moves.  Thirty minutes left.  Piping, serious spillage.  How much?  Paul; full coverage.  Ruby; looks good.  One minute.  Runs like the wind.  Proper disaster, shabby.  Flood that gap.

 

Desperate measures, one minute, run like the wind.  Time is up.  High five.  Gingham table, blue.  Cut is perfect.  Half-silky.  Prue likes it neat.  Too much chocolate.  Oh, not…you gotta have enough to hold it in.  Too much marshmallow if the chocolate can’t hold it in.  Quite delighted.  Antony, highs, lows, tomorrow.  Wheeling wagon, night owl.  Next day; same outfits.  Now it’s the Showstopper challenge.  Biscuit is a selfie portrait.  Fiendish.  Is that what that says?  Layers of biscuits, bond the biscuit.  Terry; top of the game.  3D work of art.  Cinnamon and orange.  Come back on train.  Bristol something.  Cockapoo dog.  Rahul has a blue Band-Aid on…yeah, I noticed that.  I said he must…that must be this next day.  He’s got a blue Band-Aid on.  Ruby; forty biscuits.  First, Mr. Sweetly, let’s go with less, but he cracks her up.  Antony’s something.  Karen’s holiday home; there’s more alliteration.  Moonwalk away.  Day’s sugar almond cookies.

 

That sounds good.  Luke’s mad night out; royal icing versus buttercream.  Genoclock, somebody said.  Match or matcha, maybe.  I don’t know, that might have been another episode.  White chocolate, punchy spices, playing power…playing pong?  Oh, they’re playing ping-pong.  Robust biscuits, brandy snap, moldable.  Imelda; burnt, one hour, make magic, calm versus not calm.  Terry’s not very worried, so is Imelda…burnt.  Cannot bond.  Matcha ganache…Kim-Joy, artist, painting.  Ruby; severe breakages.  The colors.  You look a bit like Bjork.  Terry’s not…it’s not going well for Terry.  Dan and Antony, good art.  You look a bit frantic.  One minute, sighing shots, lots of shots, lots of close-ups.  Time is up.  Great edits.  Please put selfies at the end of your workstation.  Ruby, Manon, Dan, Kim-Joy.  What one you…holding zoom.  Kim-Joy; X3.  Show-stopping selfie.  That’s another one.  Prawn or baby.  Oh, that was on Dan’s.

 

Dan, good, Kim-Joy, good.  Tiny bit more spice.  A bit soft…very next…precise, balance, lovely lemon curd.  Rahul gets called up.  Dame Edna and Su Pollard.  Rahul walks backwards, thumbs up, nice spacing.  Quite simple.  Prue cuts her up.  Biscuit; bland, thick, and dry.  Stale.  Lots of concerned faces.  Strange taste of ginger.  Briony; colors, balloons, more flavor.  Manon nods.  Excellent.  Exquisite.  Just a hint of matcha.  Terry called up; ingenious, well done.  Manon cheers him on, smiles, scrape through.  First week nerves, tea and talk.  Background hand-holding, shaking.  Wonderfully nutty.  Manon hugs…falls to me.  Sad news; it’s Imelda.  Hugs and tears.  Ruby arm guard.  All sad.  Even judges hug.  Ruby feels a little bit bad.  Week one done.  Pull my socks up.  Manon calls someone papa.  Tears of joy.  She was the Star Baker.  [00:30:00] That’s the whole…that’s like, the whole notes of…my notes from the episode.

 

Then we’ll pick it up at the signature…what do they call it?  The Showstopper.  Let’s just see what we see here without my notes.  We’ll actually get a little bit more immersed.  See…Kim-Joy, people are raising their hands.  I just saw Terry had something on his finger.  Ruby…I think Ruby comes in first with the wagon wheels.  See, Ruby’s…yeah, so…I was feeling pretty rubbish this morning.  Ruby has a nice, red dress on with flowers.  Everyone has the same tan apron, so this is where everybody goes home.  Now, I don’t know where everybody sleeps on this show.  I’m really curious about the production ‘cause it sounds like they have to go back to…they must shoot this on the weekends and everybody goes back to their job during the week.  Okay, but everybody has the same clothes on.  I don’t know if they get laundered between nights or how that works.

 

I mean, it would be a concern of mine because I cannot…actually, I can wear clothes for twenty-four hours but after that, I say no, no, no.  After I’ve showered, I can’t…’cause usually it just is…this is TMI, but I take a shower in the afternoons after I work out or run.  Then I put on clean clothes, then I go to bed at night, and then I’ll put on the same clothes until I take a shower again.  It’s like, I wear my clothes from like, 4:00 PM…like, a twenty-four-hour period between 4:00 PM and 3:00 PM.  Okay, so everybody’s putting their flour and butter in and they’re…what they have to do is make…this is really hard; they have to make a selfie.  Basically, they have to make a giant biscuit with a selfie of them with different other biscuits on there and art and frosting and stuff.  Really, this…and again, this is my first time consuming this show, so to me I’m like holy cow, not only do you have to be able to bake, you have to be able to draw and do art.

 

A lot of pouring, then close-ups of people’s faces, then chopping, chopping some lemon, putting sugar in.  A lot of concern.  I’m saying huh, well…and then sometimes talking where they try to get people…Terry’s gotta be at the top of the game.  Famous last words.  Then always the risks.  Well, don’t make it too tough, don’t make it too soft.  I love shortbread so this really interests me, all of these ones.  Seeing Jon doing some microplaning of a citrus.  Looks like oranges.  Yeah, he’s doing a lemon curd sun with buttered…he’s doing one of him on a…his face in front of a sea with a sailboat.  Idyllic sailing conditions, he thought.  I think he’s telling a story about one time.  Then they say meanwhile, back on dry land, Briony’s doing one of her on the left of her head and then her kind of with a very scenic scene behind her bridge, a river, and some sailboats.  A lot of frosting, too, which could be interesting.

 

Oh, then yeah, the…Noel says okay, tell me about your cockapoo.  I need to know ‘cause I’m a method actor.  Rahul says…he’s got his…he does have a cut on his finger.  He’s making his first spring in the UK, so it’s him on the right side and then kind of a duck…goose pond, it looks like.  He says, it’s a very ambitious design.  Triple-layered, forty biscuit design.  That’s Ruby.  She’s going…her finishing the London Marathon.  Crystallized ginger; she’s going to have a gold leaf where she’s holding up her…it looks like gingerbread, too.  It looks tasty.  She’s never successfully finished this ‘cause she’s…it sounds like she…they practiced during the week.  Now everybody’s rolling out their biscuits.  That’s the sequence, and then putting them in the oven; smoothing their biscuits, patting them, rubbing them down like a space…a safe place.  A lot of people are doing a backing biscuit, like a…what do you call that?  The canvas.

 

Let’s see, Jon’s doing his way of…Jon’s pretty warm.  Are you Mr. Sweaty?  Sandy said that to him.  Okay, and Ruby had a setback of too much…Antony’s doing when he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro; 500…5895 meters in November, 2016.  Ginger and cinnamon, bang-on.  That’s another cookie; ginger and cinnamon.  That sounds like a good cookie.  Half the bakers are doing trips abroad.  Karen’s doing France.  She has a holiday home there.  Oh, and that’s when they say her selfie looks a bit like Dame Edna.  Wonderful flavor combination if it turns out, Prue said, but don’t overdue the rose water.  Oh, this is…that’s when Noel does the moon walk.  Dan’s doing Palm Springs when his husband and him went and picked up their…when they first met their kids.  But it’s him holding one of the babies.  That’s when they say is that a prawn?  Mango royal icing.  That sounds tasty, too.

 

Then Luke, who’s kind of a younger one, he’s doing his wild trip he had to Las Vegas; mad night out with his friends on holiday in Las Vegas.  Dan’s in the foreground with glasses and then some Las Vegas landmarks in the background.  He says, I associate cinnamon with America, so there’s a little cinnamon in there.  Eight minutes; Ruby and Dan are using eight-minute timers.  Glacier mints; that’s what Rahul’s using for his glasses.  You could see this is like, as much a mental game as it is…if you watch it, ‘cause you just see the stress impacting people.  Flour buttercream should be a thick custard, Terry says.  He’s using a left to right, right-handed routine.  A lot of right-handers, it looks like, though I just kneaded some bread earlier today.  It was right-handed and I’m left-handed.  I kneaded with my right hand.  Yeah, I’ll keep an eye out if I see somebody…hopeful…oh, Manon’s doing a visit to a mountain too, but I…she’s putting matcha buttercream, so a little green.

 

Yep, it’s good, she says.  Oh yeah, Japan.  Kim-Joy…two people going to trips in Japan.  Now, Kim-Joy, you could even see her using different colors to…I don’t know what she was using for the coloring to make the right shades for her night sky, like a sunset.  Ginger and cinnamon, quite strong on ginger.  Yeah, then we have a rising exterior shot and then Sandy and Noel are playing ping-pong with books, cookbooks.  Now stuff’s starting to come out of the oven.  Anemic biscuits, Dan says.  You gotta make sure they’re baked.  To add depth to the robust biscuits that the layer on top of one another…Terry’s taking a different approach, though.  Terry is making a brandy snap biscuit which is a moldable material.  It comes out like a…then you have a small window to shape it, so he’s gonna shape it into a three-dimensional version of Terry, of his face.  Brandy snap selfie.  Really, for Terry, this was all-or-nothing.

 

If he didn’t do good here, I had a feeling he was not gonna make it, though he’s very pleasant and his horse would not go.  Watching the mixers mix the butter is nice and calming.  His brandy snap biscuit did look like it had maybe some sesame seeds in there or something.  I don’t know.  Imelda’s doing a fun day out in Mayo, a seaside selfie, another alliteration though I’m not keeping count anymore.  Then Sandy…she says, my biscuits are burnt.  Sandy says no, they look colorful.  Imelda’s stressed.  We have another shot from the…one of the fields, maybe a drone shot.  Let’s make some magic, somebody says.  Backboard biscuits on the backboard.  Oh, so they do have a backboard?  Oh, they do, yeah.  They do have one board that is not food behind their biscuits.  This is a bit like a science…or something you craft at school.  Terry just said oh my goodness.  Oh yeah, ‘cause one of his biscuits burned.  Oh, Terry.

 

Ruby’s running behind; she’s got a little flour on her face.  Kim-Joy’s pouring out some caramel for a firm bond.  Hope it stays together, Rahul says.  He also has a piece of tape…oh no, is that Rahul or…?  No, that’s the other guy, Jon.  Jon has a Band-Aid too, and [00:40:00] a clear thing…tape on his finger.  Now we’re getting into the high speed.  People are putting their ganache on with the tubing things, adding some mountain and foliage.  Dan’s like wait a second, I gotta rewind it.  Dan may have been stirring very fast with his left hand.  Let’s see, we got Jon talking now, Jon placing…that’s the right-hander painting.  I don’t know who that was, but this is the one…Ruby placing…Ruby’s right-handed, maybe.  Tough to say.  Oh, no, that Dan’s right…oh, wait…yeah, Dan’s right-handed, it looks like.  That’s the right hand, right?  Yeah.  Don’t worry, I’ll find a lefty, probably.

 

Sandy’s testing out some of Ruby’s biscuits and giving her a hard time.  First she said it’s not good, then she says it’s delicious.  Then Kim-Joy’s really using a lot of colors.  I don’t know how she found the time to create a night sky.  Oh, this is the severest break…severe breakage from Ruby.  Half hour left.  Now they’re doing shots of everybody in frantic motions.  Some people are painting, some people are assembling.  Karen said she’s proud of her nose.  Somebody else said I’m looking like the Joker.  Stay calm; that was Imelda.  Briony; they say oh yeah, you look like Bjork, Bjorkness.  Then she said someone says I look like Michael McIntyre.  Marshmallow fondant; Ruby’s covered in that.  Kim-Joy’s painting Kim-Joy with blue hair.  Imelda’s doing grass.  Her grass looks good.  Terry’s looks very impressionistic.  Yeah, Rahul’s very calm even though…he’s focused.  Antony’s very joyful.  Ruby’s kind of balanced out.

 

Oh, Dan’s biscuit cracked.  Oh, but Dan is very artistic cartoon-wise.  Now the final thing…Imelda’s kinda feeling like…she says it’s turning out hideous.  Ruby calls herself Rubes there.  Okay, they say time is up but I think everybody either gets more time or it’s not exact.  Say, oh my goodness, put your selfies at the end of your workstation.  Okay, then Ruby and Manon are kind of doing a post saying, hey.  Kim-Joy says Dan, what are you holding?  He goes, a baby.  She goes oh, I thought it was something else that’s pink and…somebody says it didn’t…it doesn’t look like that, though.  I don’t know if she was saying that ‘cause of TV.  Now, it’s…okay, first up is Dan for the judging.  He carries it up, he stands it up.  Nothing falls off that I can see.  It pops; the colors are really good.  Artistically great, three-dimensional, colorful.  That’s when Paul says it looks like you’re holding a prawn, though.  Everybody laughs.

 

But yeah, the colors, outlines…they take the sun as the biscuit to eat.  I don’t know if Dan got to pick that or not.  They say okay, passion fruit, very good blend.  Almond…nice biscuit, Dan.  Prue says, excellent.  Dan smiles.  Kim-Joy, they say holy cow, this is artistic.  You can see a sunset.  Well-balanced.  They say okay, your biscuit could use more spice.  Kim-Joy agrees.  Then Luke’s what happens in Las Vegas; his has depth ‘cause it has a couple layers.  They say okay, cinnamon and orange, it works but the biscuits are a bit soft.  Dan makes a frown.  Antony; the Kilimanjaro, very precise.  It looks like him and they say it’s certainly gingerbread.  Gorgeous balance of cinnamon and ginger.  Really good.  Then Jon…Jon’s turned out pretty good.  Some lumpy lemon curd.  He goes yeah, my lemon curd didn’t cook out.  A little bit overcooked, but good flavors.  Lovely.  Cinnamon and orange; biscuit’s spectacular according to Paul, though.

 

Rahul goes up.  He walks very slowly and gingerly but his…he also has a lake.  They say, it’s explosion of English spring.  Really fascinated by your portrait.  They say oh, how come it doesn’t have stubble?  He goes oh, because I was seven years younger.  ‘Cause he has kind of a beard now.  They say well, it’s recognizable.  They say, the biscuit’s nice and short.  Mm, ginger comes through.  Well-baked, beautifully.  We love your face.  Fantastic.  Great job.  Then Sandy and Noel say well-done.  That’s when he walks backwards and then turns around halfway.  Everybody laughs at him but not in a mean way, in a friend way.  Karen does one where she’s drinking wine in the sun, but hers has a lot of bright reds and she’s wearing red, but they can’t get the rose water.  Got the cardamom but not the rose water, Karen.  She goes, I guess I didn’t put enough in.  They go well, it looks great, but you gotta put…give it some kick, some oomf.

 

Now, Imelda’s did not…they say okay, it’s simple.  We recognize you, but then they go to eat her selfie.  Paul is not nice.  He chops it in half with a knife.  Everybody’s watching on, very studious.  They say yeah, bland, thick, dry, stale shortbread.  Oh, boy.  You get the lemon but not the ginger.  Yeah, and then they get shots of everybody worrying and concerned.  Then we have Ruby’s gingerbread marathon selfie.  Hers is halfway finished, so she’s very stressed.  She goes, too ambitious.  I think I was doing too much.  She just didn’t get enough time to frost it.  They say it’s more…a little bit generic.  They say okay, let’s try it, though.  Cinnamon and ginger.  They eat it.  They say, strange taste of ginger.  You do get the cinnamon but they’re fighting for supremacy.  Biscuit’s a bit soft, a bit dry.  Paul’s like, merciless, I guess.  He goes, it’s a shame you didn’t finish it.  She goes yeah, brutal.  She’s down.

 

But oh wow, Briony’s really is worth looking at, too.  Sorry, Briony; in the first five times I watched this, I appreciated other things you did, but I did not catch the colors on this biscuit.  There’s only six minutes left in the episode if you want to catch the time.  I paused it for our convenience.  It has a bridge…Bristol.  It’s in Bristol, a Bristol biscuit selfie, so triple alliteration.  There’s three hot air balloons in the sky, clouds and blue sky, then a bridge.  Then the…what I’m assuming is a river.  Two sailboats on the river and then on the right side of the river is a row of kind of pastel-colored townhouses.  Or in New York, I think you call it a walk-up or a brownstone.  But really popping colors on the balloons and somewhat of a shine in there.  Then Briony’s on the left and it looks a lot like her.  She has on a coat, a yellow coat, and I don’t know, it looks a lot like her.  I only watched this episode and I said, that’s definitely Briony.

 

Then there’s nice flourishes of the water, the sky, and the forest in greens and blues.  Just, I don’t know, well done in my opinion.  Let’s see what they say, though.  Portrait works.  I love the balloons.  Can we eat a balloon?  Yes, please do.  Paul cuts the balloon in three.  Nice, thin icing.  I like that.  Everybody watches; this is another good one.  There’s like, as Paul and Prue take bites, they show Rahul and Manon and their mouths are kind of opening.  They say okay, need more flavor, more of a punch.  Okay, okay.  Manon says, but that’s good, Briony.  Good work.  Then we have Manon’s.  Excellent, Paul says.  Very precise and neat and detailed.  Exquisite.  They cut it three ways.  Prue tries it.  She was nervous that the matcha would be overpowering but not at all; it’s just a hint.  It’s…wow, Paul says.  Delicious flavors, textures; amazing job.  That’s good.  She shakes it up, brings it back.  Some people are glaring at her.

 

Terry, [00:50:00] bring up your biscuit selfie.  Terry brings his.  Terry has a barbell moustache.  I think I forgot to mention that so far, and a very serious face.  But they say, ingenious.  Terry looks like he’s about to cry.  So do Manon and Ruby because…brandy snap, buttercream jam, delicious.  They’re blown away.  They say, I can’t believe you did a brandy snap in that size.  That’s difficult.  Then you got a lot of color in there.  Very clever, Paul says.  Well done, Terry.  Everybody’s kind of…some people are happy.  Manon says well done, Terry, too.  But Imelda, they stop and show that Imelda’s sad, and Ruby; they’re worried.  Terry goes, I think I’m gonna make it.  ‘Cause everybody…out of those three, they had two…I think everybody had one good bake and two bad bakes.  They say, oh boy, who’s gonna go home?  I don’t know.  They interview Imelda, Ruby, and Terry.

 

They show them they’re actually…just happen to be sitting all in a row, all with concerned looks.  The sun starts to go down.  Paul and Prue must decide who’s gonna be the Star Baker.  The last will be the first.  Then they said…they have a tea.  Oh, this is a nice scene to pause it.  They have a quick scene here where they have…they did some voice-over.  They have all the bakers lined up, but then they have Paul, Prue, Noel, and Sandy all sitting at a table.  All of the biscuit selfies, the people’s faces, are on plates and they’re having tea around there.  Now let’s see, the bottom row is Briony, Ruby, Rahul, Kim-Joy, then Luke, Manon, Terry, Dan.  Top left…the top three I can’t…I guess Karen, Jon…who do we still have left?  We got somebody with blue hair.  Oh, Luke…oh no, Luke’s over there.  Karen and Jon…oh, Imelda and Antony.  I don’t see Antony though.  But I guess his is obscured by grass.  There’s some grass there.  But yeah, they talk.

 

Oh, it was amazing.  Got to know them quicker this time.  We have their portraits in front of us, hardy-har-har.  Who’s rising to the top?  Well, Manon.  Classically French, good baking, precision.  Briony; impressive.  Solid Showstopper.  Then they say who’s struggling?  Well, Terry today coming in was struggling, but he pulled a rabbit out of a hat like an impressionist painting.  Did he do enough?  We don’t know.  Imelda, she struggled in the technical and biscuit wasn’t good today.  She has a lot to prove…pressure.  Then Ruby, first in technical but the other two, not as good.  Sandy says, I’m gonna be sad to see one of them go.  I already…they say, agreed.  Now, the sun’s almost setting.  We go back to the tent.  They line up.  The bakers are waiting.  Some of them are holding hands which is very cute.  Imelda’s very nervous.  They say okay, well first, we’re gonna say the Star Baker.  Wonderfully nutty first round.

 

Attention to detail, unbelievable.  I think Manon knows she has it.  Star Baker; Manon.  Dan makes this laughing face like he’s…I don’t know.  Briony, Manon hug.  Sandy says, I gotta give the sad news now.  Ruby and Manon are really holding each other ‘cause they say it’s one of us.  They’re like, flinching.  They say, Imelda.  I say, ah.  Dan gives her a hug.  Ruby holds her head then hugs Imelda.  Some people are patting her back.  Sandy hugs her first.  Dan hugs Ruby, then Ruby hugs Imelda.  This was a different time when you…this was a hugging time and it’s in England, you know.  Karen hugs Imelda.  They’re interviewing Imelda who’s down.  She has to walk away.  She’s so down.  Understandably, very understandably.  Prue hugs Ruby.  Prue has a nice, blue watch on.  Ruby talks about man, I just got by.  Paul hugs Ruby.  She says, I’m relieved.  Imelda says, well done, Terry; hugs him.  Then everybody’s hugging.

 

Yeah, and they say…then they kind of…looking back and saying wow, what a wonderful weekend.  Okay, so that helps me.  I guess they must…yeah, film it on Friday and Saturday or Saturday and Sunday.  Manon calls in to France and says, I won the first episode.  She’s outside in front of a fence and again, really high production value.  Holy moly.  We’ll see what comes next.  Yeah, that’s the end of the episode.  Yeah, really exciting.  I think…let me…just to be sure though, ‘cause I’m not sure…I think the last episode I did go over the wagon wheel challenge but just in case I didn’t…I mean, I kinda did in my notes but basically, just in case ‘cause I said, I don’t know where I left off last episode…that’s the technical challenge.  They have to make a wagon wheel which is a bit like a moon pie, I think they call them in the US.  It’s like, two pieces of biscuit with marshmallow in between and then a…it’s like a snack.

 

It used to…back in the day, when I was growing up, they thought sugar was good for you or good for the economy.  You didn’t eat lunch unless you had a dessert.  Like now, even my daughter…I mean, we definitely…we just don’t…definitely don’t have dessert during the day and even most nights I say well, let’s look forward to dessert as a treat in the future.  But back then…so, this was something you’d have…like a mass-marketed one but Paul was like, I’ll make the…I make these.  I have a recipe for them.  Also, the one they’re doing has jam in it.  But they have the recipe with no pictures or anything, so some of them have had a wagon wheel; some have not.  Then they proceed to have to make it and follow technically…can you follow the steps?  Can you…and then how is your technique, I guess, and then how much experience did you have makes a difference.

 

Yeah, so what happens is everybody has to make the same thing and then the judges…like, Paul and Prue have left and then they come back and judge it without knowing who made what.  They judge everything but it was a tough one because some people had never had it before.  Then it was like, you had to make the biscuits, make them circles; I don’t know if they had a cut-out, make marshmallow, make a jam and reduce it, and then get the marshmallow…and then the hardest part was coating everything in the chocolate and then getting it…the chocolate to set.  But it also seemed like a lot of people had trouble getting the chocolate on ‘cause it’s like, do you dip it?  Do you paint the chocolate on?  Do you drizzle it on?  Again, these biscuit challenges, it seems like one thing is the baking time, especially if you’ve never made it before.

 

You say well, I’ve never made this specific biscuit style so I don’t know how long it’s gonna go in there for.  I’m just trying to see in my notes, anything now…Jon’s is under-cooked, Manon’s extremely neat, Prue…now, this seems like it was something else, but Prue had never had one.  Or no, that’s when they talk about…she says, I’ve never…I wouldn’t have a pot noodle until my forties.  Yeah, so wagon wheel prep time…I’m just trying to see…so, Ruby came in first.  I think the other top bakers in that particular competition were Ruby, Briony, Manon.  I think Antony had trouble because he had never had it before.  Then a bunch of people had trouble with it because they just…the chocolate made a lot of hard things.  Yeah.  I don’t know who else had trouble other than that.  But yeah, so that’s a little bit about the first episode of…what do we say?  Collection 9?  I don’t even know.  Talk about technical.

 

Not only is baking technical; trying to figure out which episode and where to find it is technical, too.  It’s Collection 6, Episode 1, but I think it’s the ninth season of…but it’s Biscuits Week.  Yeah, really enjoyable.  Also, we’ll have…those of you that are 10$ patrons will be getting an exclusive occasional episode about the facts of British…Great British Baking Bake-off.  Yeah, so we’ll be back next week.  I don’t know if next week will be a one-parter or a two-parter.  I still get a feel for how we’re gonna do this.  But thanks for listening.  Here you go; let me tuck you in.  Oh, you want me to not?  Should I tuck you in or move…?  Okay, I got it.  How’s that?  Okay, let me move that for you.  Alright, and then yeah, get comfortable and listen to these thank-yous.  Goodnight.  [01:00:00]

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)