910 – Forte on Forte and Forts
Another seminar from the Boredom Institute comes bring you rest, this one covers the ability to lose rapport in order to gain rapport. Also Scooter would spell it repoire.
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EPISODE 910 – Forte on Forte and Forts
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, tree…trees and Multi-forms. You say Scoots, can you remember what TARDIS stands for? I say, Time and…T-A-R…Time and Relative Dimension in Space I think is what it stands for. But you know, who doesn’t know the time or their relative…you say…who’s not very good…actually, I am pretty…my spatial relations are…believe it or not, while my meanders…that’s one place I actually normally…sometimes am decent at; spatial relations, which might lead into what we could talk about in the intro. Spatial relations sounds like a job. I could be the Dr. Ruth Westheimer of space. You say well, I’m…no, I only handle spatial relations. Now, what am I talking about? Well, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Here’s a couple ways we keep this…we keep this show free for everybody. Thank you, patrons, for helping me keep this show a-going. Sorry, I got on such a tangent there, patrons. I had to bring it back to you. What do you say we get on with the show?
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do if you wish…you don’t even need to do it; you could do it…is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. You could also do that in any order or you could say well, I just dim the lights. I say, totally understand that. But, I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind you’re thinking about, feelings, anything you’re feeling emotionally or physically coming up for you. So, things on the mind, brain stuff, feeling stuff; whatever level. What if you’re…I don’t know if people’s chakras have voice. But if your chakras are singing like Chaka Khan, I guess I would get my hips moving. Maybe I should do that.
I say well, how are you becoming familiar with your chakras, Scoots? I say well, I’ve called the one on my hips Chaka Khan, and so then I can shake my hips. They you say, you don’t know what you’re talking about…I say no, no, ‘cause I was…sorry, I was at the beginning of a podcast intro and I got mixed up within my mix-ups. Whatever is keeping you awake I’d like to take your mind off of that and keep you company and help you fall asleep. What I’m gonna do to do that is I got this safe place. Let me de-Chaka Khan it. I’m gonna smooth it, I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna…I’m probably…I’m trying not to gyrate my hips but it’s not easy even though I’m doing a sleep podcast. Isn’t it interesting that Shakira and Chaka Khan…I associate both of them with hip motion dancing, or making my hips want to move. They just have the both…I don’t know, is that the same root word at the beginning? No, those are names. Okay. Oh, get back to the intro.
Okay, so, I’m gonna try to create a safe place and I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Oh, so creaky. Pointless meanders, which you’ve already gotten some early bonus ones…superfluous tangents. Maybe some of those were superfluous tangents. Pointless, superfluous…I’m gonna go off-topic, all of it to take your mind off of stuff and help you fall asleep. Now if you’re new, a couple of things to answer…questions you might be having since you’re new. One, I’m glad you’re here. Two, this podcast is not for everybody but for everybody it has become a podcast for…that’s become a regular listener, they say it takes two or three tries. I’ll explain that to you in long, drawn-out terms. But if you’re skeptical or doubtful, that’s a pretty normal way to come to this podcast. Of course you’d be. I’ll probably deepen your skepticism initially. That’s one of my winning techniques. I go against all those advice books.
I’ve called all of them on my imaginary…I say, get me that Hill guy. Can we conference in Vincent Peale and Hill and Carnegie? Can we get them all on one imaginary call? They said, a Zoom? I said yeah, but I’m gonna mute them all initially because…and then they say well, what is it regarding? I say, I almost…I think I already forgot. Something counterintuitive I was doing. Oh, Building Rapport by Losing Rapport. It’s my latest book that I…in a series of books I’m working on. They say, really? I say yeah, that’s probably what tonight’s episode will be about. There’ll probably be a seminar on it, actually. Great idea, by the way. We’ll save our call for later. But yeah, by deepening skepticism in this podcast, eventually we lean in. Keep them on…can you put people on hold on Zoom, imaginary beings? Great. Thanks, brain. So, you might be doubtful. Here’s the funniest thing that I’m laughing about on the inside is that somehow, I looked at my…the clock I use to keep time on these intros and I was like, clocking in.
Now, the clock is different than real time, but it was four minutes. I said oh boy, around minute…by minute five I’ll be telling the structure of the podcast to the new listener. I’m like, so on time here. Then of course, I made a imaginary Zoom call. But so, one of the things if you’re new that throws new listeners off is the structure of the show because our show is structured…initially it seems like it’s structured like a normal podcast but it isn’t. It kinda is, though. So, it starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, trees and Multi-forms in this case ‘cause originally this was gonna be a Dr. Who episode, but now I think I have to kind of do this seminar one. But don’t worry, you’ll still get your Dr. Who episode on time. That’s pretty funny too, that we opened it…’cause trees and Multi-forms is a Dr. Who reference. Oh, get to the point. You’re right. Well, that’s one of the things we don’t do, is get to the point. But yeah, the show starts off with a greeting.
Then there’s business. That’s a cool thing keeping the podcast free for everybody. Then we go into…after that, we go into an intro and our intros are around twelve to twenty minutes long, which for a lot of new listeners or people that don’t listen to this show, they don’t…it can kinda seem baffling. Let me kind of explain to you the intro ‘cause that’s kind of the most…the thing that people are most wary about and…or the business. I mean, the business is necessary and the intro is kind of…it’s not…it isn’t necessary, so 2% of regular listeners start the show at twenty minutes. Then some large number of patrons listen to story-only episodes, but most listeners listen to the intro. The intro serves a few purposes. One, to welcome new listeners by deepening their skepticism and losing their rapport which is my patented method of proving my competence through incompetence. What was my point? I already lost it. Oh, so then the intro…oh, so the intro is to serve that purpose, one.
Then the other thing the intro does for regular listeners is it’s part of people’s wind-down routine, because bedtime is not just something that happens instantly to a lot of us. Some listeners start the intro as they’re getting ready for bed or as bedtime is approaching. Some listeners are in bed already or some are in their room doing some sort of wind-down or pre-bedtime…something else relaxing. I can always suggest petting your pets or kissing your biceps and shoulders. Or balming your elbows. Those are all ones that I recommend, or lying down. Not even in bed; maybe foam rolling. I don’t suggest that, though. To be [00:10:00] honest, I do it, but I can’t recommend it. Supposedly it’s great for you. But I did think the funniest thing I said…to me, was foam rolling because I…every time I do it, I say what am I doing? What am I thinking? But actually…well, anyway. Let’s get off the foam roller.
Oh, so the intro is kind of like an endlessly rolling…it’s a kind of…for some listeners, it is like foam rolling endlessly. But the whole idea is you start the intro and you start to wind down whether you’re in bed or you’re getting ready for bed. It eases you into bedtime, so that is why the intro is so long and pointless, because it’s…I guess ‘cause it’s supposed to be, and I’m good at doing that. But it is an acquired taste and it is optional. Like I said, you could start your podcast at twenty minutes or twenty-two minutes…seems to be the sweet spot for that percentage of people that want to skip ahead. That’s the intro. Then tonight…originally, I was gonna cover a episode of Dr. Who but by the magic of editing, instead I’ll do a seminar episode because we haven’t done one of those in a while. So, that’ll be fun. That’ll be kinda like a bedtime story. Between the intro and the show is business. That’s kind of a podcast structure thing. Then, oh, there’s thank yous at the end.
So, that’s the structure of the show. A couple other things to know; one, this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to. You probably already came to that conclusion yourself because I kind of go off-topic. You could just kind of barely listen or listen to me in a loose, out-of-focus, fuzzy way. Though if you want to listen, I’m here. That goes into our next point. This podcast isn’t really here to put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company as you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to be your bedtime companion, your friend in the deep, dark night. That’s the role I’m really applying for. The role he was born to play, the person who’s never listened to. I’d say well, that’s pretty accurate, actually. The role I’m proud to play. He’s been over…approaching 900 performances or over it with bonus episodes and stuff. Yeah, that’s pretty cool that I get to be here to take your mind off of stuff, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh.
Whatever it is, that’s what I’m here to do, is just keep you company as you fall asleep. Now, here’s the other side; if you can’t sleep, I’m here for you. I have listeners that just can’t sleep or people that are going…you know, you got something going on, or maybe it’s during the day and you need a break during the day, I’m here. I’ll be here ‘til the end of this episode to keep you company ‘cause that’s my job. I think that’s it as far as the structure of the show. I was thinking about that spatial relations stuff I was talking about at the beginning and then I said well, it could be…yeah, like spatial relations. I don’t know if what that book…that karma…that Sutru Karmu book is about spatial relations. But I was thinking more like talking it out, that kind of spatial relations. But then I was like oh, would it be about beings in space? Would I be an expert in the relation…I probably wouldn’t be good at that, but what if I was saying hey, quark. I heard you’re…actually, I don’t know what a quark is.
We’ll have to cover that, but I heard you have some issues with a nebula and strong feelings about it. I’m here to help you to work it out even though you’re not sentient. I got it. When universes clash, it has to be…whatever. I’m here to modulate that or whatever that proper word is that someone does that. Oh yeah, I’m here to facilitate collisions between universes and galaxies. We can’t have a black hole without a little bit of…at least trying to build some consensus first, of course. I mean, I think that’s kind of…I don’t even know what I was…oh, the spatial relations. I guess that’s kind of what I’m trying to do now with this show, is with those parts of your brain that keep you up. Maybe you say, I don’t…he doesn’t even know what a quark is, or maybe you have something saying that to yourself. I say okay, well, what if I talked to you about how I build rapport by losing it? You say well, do you know how you do that? I say well, not yet, but I’ll talk it out. Do you think it’ll make any sense?
It’ll make 20% sense and the rest will be…feel like nonsense, and then I’ll probably talk about nun-sense and then maybe again think about shaking my hips. Oh, okay. Yeah, I’m just here to keep you company and talk. You don’t even really have to listen to me. Don’t worry, if any galaxies are approaching you…I’m gonna shine a little light on the dark matter too, and say hey, holy nebula, all that kind of stuff. We might even watch some of the scenes from movies with Nebula…with some Nebula. Say hey, sit down. Let’s have a movie night. Let’s get to know one another. This is Nebula, a nebulous character in a different variety of movies. Oh yeah, I gotta get back. So, where was I? Nowhere. Exactly. That’s one of my favorite things that happens by accident…when that happens. I love that. Say so, where was I? You say, absolutely nowhere, Scoots. I’d say thanks, brain. Perfect. We’re doing a great job. You’re doing a great job, and I’m not kidding when I say that.
The reason I make this show is because I’ve been there sleepless, and I know how it feels. You deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a safe place of respite and I’m here to try to provide that for you. That really is my honor and if there was a superpower…even though I’m not sure Nebula is superpower…I mean, she’s superpowered, but I don’t know if she necessarily has superpowers. She may be some sort of powered…I can’t remember. It may be that her powers are normal for her. That’s what I mean. On Earth, it seems like she has superpowers but she says well, where…whatever I’m from, Orion 9, this is normal. Okay, where was I? I’m already lost once again. I don’t know, I think that’s about it. I make this show ‘cause you…deserving a good night’s sleep. I hope I can help. I really appreciate you coming by and checking this podcast out. I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to keep this podcast free for everybody.
Hey everybody, it’s Scoots here, and good evening. I guess how we found ourselves here tonight was a intro that was supposed to be for…what do you call that show? Dr. Who. Sorry, Doctor. That intro kind of found its way to…saying well, I think I’d prefer to be about something new. Then I said Scoots, why don’t you turn stuff over to the Boredom Institute for this one since you’ve been consulting with them on a new program and also an infomercial? As all infomercials are in this show, an imaginary infomercial. I said, great idea. It’s time for another one of our Boredom Institute seminars that we partner with on the show, and I’m gonna turn things over to Brad Braderson from the Boredom Institute. Well hello, everybody. This is Brad Braderson from the Boredom Institute here to introduce you once again to me, Brad Braderson, and our steps to health, wealth, and happiness through boredom…is your friend Brad Braderson. Hello, everybody.
Here at the Boredom Institute we create programs, educational programs, enrichment programs based on the idea of a borenopopia. That’s something we’re work…still brainstorming that term. That’s why we’re testing it out here on Scooter’s podcast. Borenopopia, possibly patent-pending, is the idea that boredom can bring you infinite things, an infinite abundance through boredom which is one of the…what we believe here even though we didn’t realize was a founding principle when we founded the Boredom Institute. We believe in the abundance of…I mean, there is an over…some people would say there’s an overabundance of boredom, and we don’t have…you say well, that’s one way to look at it. We see boredom as not a thing…a thing that’s always present. A bit like the Force, you may say. Yeah, I guess a bit like the Force. It runs through all things. [00:20:00] We see boredom as a path, a path in this case to health, wealth, and happiness, and meeting your dreams.
Tonight, we’re gonna talk about losing rapport by gaining rapport. Oh no, gaining rapport through losing rapport. Gaining trust or competence by showing incompetence. I forgot what other terms Scooter used, but we’re gonna win you over by losing you. That’s one of the subtle techniques of boredom. We’re gonna start right off. We’re gonna get to the…I’m not sure how many steps we have. Ideally, we used to shoot for ten steps and then we said well, studies show seven steps are better. I said well, what about eleven steps? If we do ten, we could turn it up to eleven. A lot of the younger people we work with here at the…I mean, I’m young, but Brad Braderson, believe me, the eternal youth of boredom is one I want one day. They said Brad, that’s a bit of a stretch. But not everybody knows…is familiar with the movie The Tapping…the famous rockumentary. Oh, so yeah, let’s just get to it and see. We’ll say well, let’s see where the path leads us. Tonight, we start off with our first step.
I want you to close your eyes. There’s a song and there’s a lot of ideas and a lot of metaphors. This is called the Bore Weaver which I guess doesn’t sound as smooth as Dream Weaver or other weavers. Or if you play StarCraft; reavers, I think is one of the…one of Scooter’s…I think he liked reavers. I think those were the little snails. But Scooter could never keep up on refilling them. He said, why isn’t there an automatic way to do this? But that’s just a obscure StarCraft reference. You know, Scooter, he never became…he never achieved StarCraft mastery but I’m sure he put more than 10,000 hours into that. Probably wasn’t 10,000…even though he was focused, it was more of…it’s interesting. We’d have to sit down. I wonder if we could sit down and interview Malcolm Gladwell about that. You say well, I played video games for ten…many more than 10,000 hours. I was focused and didn’t…then I say well, Scooter, you were playing video games…and I say okay, as a distraction. You’re correct.
But let’s get back into the Bore Weaver. How do you…and you might say Brad, how do you get to health, wealth, and happiness through losing rapport or losing attention? I’d say well, let’s just hold on here. Let’s talk about bore-weaving, why don’t we? Bore-weaving, you want to…what you’re trying to do…it’s a form of storytelling that you probably listen to almost every night. It’s neither fiction nor non-fiction; it’s…but it combines elements of both. You may automatically do this, but we’re here at the Boredom Institute trying to focus your attention on maybe skills that you may already have that you don’t see as skills. But by refining them, giving them space to breathe, you realize that there is true power in these skills. Bore-weaving is simply telling a story. Now, the old way of viewing it, the non-positive or not-empowered way – or judgmental way, if you don’t mind me saying that – is that you’re just filling air by talking.
That may be when you were using this technique in an automatic manner. We’ve been studying Scooter for a long time and a lot of these…we’ve built the Boredom Institute on a lot of accidental ideas from Scooter. Let’s say in the old way…let’s use an imaginary exercise here. You’re at a function. It’s a work function but it’s after work, so you’re supposed to be relaxed. You say well, that’s not in my…that’s not my forte, relaxing. Will is my forte, but that’s not…Will Forte’s not gonna be at one of my work functions after work, anyway. Even if I…Will Forte was, I probably wouldn’t talk to Will Forte ‘cause I’d be too nervous, ‘cause that would mean I would be at some sort of…so, you’re at a work function. Everyone says oh, enjoy yourself. Relax. You say well, that…these are authority figures, or…so we say okay, that’s your natural state. It’s okay. You’re just a person. You’re not supposed to be perfect and there’s no need to be perfect.
A situation may arise where you’re supposed to talk to someone. You say hey, Brad, how are things going on that new…what did you say? You’re gonna…bore-bundance? Was that what you were calling it? In that case, I just sat there stunned because I said, bore-bundance? Well, I was calling it a boreocopia based on abundance. I didn’t even think I could call it bore-bundance. That’s so much better. Luckily, this is an imaginary exercise so this is actually my own idea. That leads us right into this exercise. I don’t know if you’re following me. I’ll circle back to where we are. You say oh wow, well, I was just about…no, I was just gonna…I was just thinking about that bore-bundance. It made me think of that show with that family with the dad that worked at the shoe store. Then it made me think about the times I’ve gone to the shoe store. That dad was very unhappy selling shoes. Now, here’s the thing; I wonder…I just watched another show where a character worked at a shoe store and she was very happy.
She was talking to her…the person who’s asking her questions. They said well, why do you work at a shoe store? She said, because I love shoes. They said well…she was from a family where she didn’t necessarily need to work. They said well, why do you…why do you work? Because I enjoy it. Because I want to. Well, why do you work at selling shoes? Well, I enjoy it. I love shoes. Well, isn’t it…shoes. Then she was trying to explain to him that there’s a variety of shoes, not just utility shoes or things…but he had the wherewithal to say hey, well, what are your favorite shoes? Then she said well, these happen to be my favorite shoes that I’m wearing. Then he talked about feet and those things and she just laughed and said that’s not part of the job, really. That was just on that show with that guy Al who always talked about it. Also makes me think of the show…then it makes me think of someone that’s making a reinvention of that show as a podcast, like Carrie B.
This show is an NB version of Carrie B. which is really cool. That’s another thing I think of when I think of shoes. I’m sorry, what was your question? So, I don’t know if you witnessed any of that. That was bore-weaving and actually, most of that was non-fiction bore-weaving or non-fiction based on fiction that I’ve consumed as Brad Braderson. But what I’ve also done…now, you might’ve…you may be able to take one step further back. I was bore-weaving on my own, here with you as a witness. That was not a real bore-weaving. Bore-weaving can be a preparatory technique not only because now I have this new idea, bore-bundance, and that is much more marketable than borenopopia or borenopopia. Also, it rhymes with something that I would say an abundance of things that people look at in their spare time that society might have strong thoughts about that rhymes with borenopopia. But not cornucopia. But people that have a lot of corn or a lot of cornucopias, that’s great.
Bore-weaver is something you could do…and you might say Brad, this whole thing and the Boredom Institute is ridiculous and a big S-H to the A to the M. I’d say okay, I respect your viewpoint. But let me tell you a little bit…something about this particular technique. You could just turn this off and never listen to a Boredom Institute seminar again. You could say well, [00:30:00] I just want the free trial and not the…when the free trial stops, the twelve…it’s very…we do charge a premium here at the Boredom Institute. One day, we’ll merge with the ROYGBIV Institute. That’s Scooter’s dream. I say, how does a institute that’s based on approving lights on the ROYGBIV whatever, method…but here’s the thing; if you’re anticipating something and you’re having strong feelings about it, which these are all normal things we all go through…maybe some people don’t, but maybe those people…that’s good for those people that they don’t.
But I’m talking to you, Brad Braderson, to somebody that I can identify without Brad Braderson, face his life. Maybe you’re at your desk. Maybe you’re at home. Tomorrow’s the work party or the work function. Maybe Will Forte’s gonna be there. You say well, Will Forte’s coming in to talk about his new imaginary memoir Forte on Fortes, or his new podcast Forte on Fortes. It’s the forteith episode. I’m pleased with myself by that accidental pun. Anyway, so you could practice this technique before the party, before reality. Not only to brainstorm accidentally but to give yourself some space to actually lose some rapport or to think about what would it be like if I lost all this rapport? What if you’re talking to Will Forte and we don’t…I don’t have another technique to come up with for a conversation point? But you’d say well, I…whenever I think of…okay, I can do…I can do one, though. Let’s just say it again. Again, practice it at home. I’ll tell you the purpose and then it’ll help relax you.
It’ll help you see the thing and you might say to yourself well then, Will Forte is just gonna say you know what? I didn’t realize the time. I have to go talk to those other people over there, or I’m gonna get some water. You stay here. Do you want any? I’m not coming back but if you want any water, wait here and then go get it. You might think that makes you squinchy-squinch inside. But what’s the risk? Let’s think of reality. What if it was always gonna be…what if that’s not…Forte isn’t your forte and talking to Forte isn’t your forte? Leaning in and accepting it and saying well, at least I can enjoy myself…playing it out in your mind and saying well, I already saw how…maybe it’ll make you more comfortable to be yourself. Those are my theories, at least. Anyway, Will Forte. That’s with an ‘e’ at the end. Well, that’s great. I’ve always liked you. I’ve always liked forts, too. What about a pod…I know you have this Forte on…is it Forte on Forte?
I wonder if any languages in the world call forts forte. It’s funny ‘cause it almost sounds like you’re saying forty but in a fancy way. What about jacket? Forte and jacket today. What if the two of you had a morning report? I would watch that. But moving on, I was thinking about forts. Forte on Forts or The Fort Report with Will Forte. I don’t know if you’re a family person. I don’t know, because I’m just…but you could have a blanket…The Blanket Fort Report with Will Forte. But it makes me think about my favorite forts that I’ve been to which I haven’t been to a lot, Will. Nowadays, people ask me of the forts you know about, what are your favorites? I say well, there’s only two that I actually remember and both of them are in central New York. One is Fort Stanwix and one is Fort Oswego. I don’t know, I was at Fort Stanwix in a rainstorm a few years ago. Now, that’s a wood fort, and Fort Oswego is a stone fort. Fort Oswego is on Lake Ontario and Fort Stanwix is in Rome, New York.
Fort Oswego is something I’ve been to mostly as an adult, Will. Fort Stanwix was something I went to as a child and returned to as an adult with my child. Because it was a rainy day…I don’t know if that impacted it. It was definitely not as grand as my imagination would have had me remember, but it was quite a nice fort. Then the nice thing about Fort Oswego is the last few times I’ve gone has been a reenactment day. Last time we went, this person was running a magic lantern, a early projector. He was dressed in a steampunk-ish type outfit and describing it to us. The time we went before that, Scooter developed a crush on someone working in the Florence Nightingale-style tent. But alls he said was, are those bandages? Then she said yes, these are bandages. Oh, thanks. Okay. Oh, Will’s gone. So, that’s a way to…that would be how I would handle it with Will Forte beforehand. Now, would I handle that in reality or not?
Another thing about the Boredom Institute and what you gotta remember is sometimes you have to trust your subconscious or trust imperfection or that it doesn’t always feel like…I don’t know, just play around with it. Be playful. That’s one technique. Then Will, if you want to stick around here, feel free to. Feel free to think about those podcasts I just asked you about. Forte, Forte. What about that one? I don’t know. I don’t exactly know what forte means, either. I’ve said it so many times that I’ve lost…I think it would be Forte on Forte. You would interview people that have a forte in something you’re interested in. That’s just my idea. Anyways, so moving onto our next step here. It’s a boredom beyond time and space. You might wonder; Brad, what does that mean, boredom beyond time and beyond space? Say, in the beginning, there probably…it probably was pretty boring. Before the big bang, you know, that…or other ways of wondering…the creation or beginning of the universe.
If there was nothing and you were there, you would say it was boring. Obviously, you would come to a point where you maybe would overcome or lean into that boredom or grapple with it. One of the things I like to point out to my students or my…people I’m working with here at the Boredom Institute, is that what if that is true? Because it probably is true. If there was a time before anything, there was a time with nothing. When you think about it that way, if that…you would have to accept, in my book, that that is an underpinning energy in the universe or an underpinning…the underpinning energy in the universe. I think I was thinking I’d say something else but I just repeated myself. That boredom is always there in its rawest form. Maybe sometimes the boredom is both within us and without us. You say Brad, are you just talking or are you going to make a point? I say well, yeah. One, be reassured by that.
Sometimes there’s a feeling within Brad and maybe within any of you…maybe you that’s listening that says oh no, Brad, you’re so boring. You just talked to Will Forte about forts and you didn’t even really talk about forts except by mentioning that one was stick and one was stone. Then he awkwardly said, stick and stone. Then he went and got his water, never to return. You say Brad, you’re so boring. You’ve got your experience in bore-bundance. I’d say well, Brad, it’s not like you invented boredom. It’s been there since the beginning and the dawn of time. Before the dawn of time, by the way, Brad. Boredom’s always there. Maybe you’re just…maybe you’re interpreting boredom in a way [00:40:00] that is like, you’re spinning the ball. You’re spinning the electron in a certain direction and in this case, your spin has a negative feel to it, Brad. But if you accept the fact that it’s just spinning counterclockwise, clockwise…are only two of the directions it could be spinning, Brad.
If it’s spherical isn’t there many, many, many more ways it could spin? That’s one thing to think about, Brad, is you’re just putting one spin on it and you’re sure that it’s spinning that way. But it could be spinning in infinitesimal…I think that means ‘almost infinite’ but maybe not…ways…because sometimes it’s beyond our understanding. You might say Brad, are you trying to be profound with something that’s not profound? I say no, no, no, I’m trying to remind you that boredom’s there, that you didn’t make it, and you didn’t…and then you say well, if I bored Will Forte, isn’t that a pretty…how many people could say they talked to Will Forte about forts and then Will Forte walked away? Then years later, Will Forte’s made a autobiography and a book and a interview series, Forte on Fort…Forte, Forte. Not many people could say that. That’s one thing.
Another thing is that when we look at this spinning of our thoughts around boredom and those things, sometimes we inflate things and you know, there’s a book that Scooter read and a lot of us have read and there’s posters about it, and there’s memes about your place in the universe, or the meaning of things in that book that Scooter loves about hitchhiking in space or whatever it’s called. Oh, he just…Hitchhiker’s Guide to the…okay. I know, Scooter. I was just being facetious. When you’re talking to someone like Will Forte or someone at work and you’re saying oh boy, did I just lose the rapport? You’re saying it feels…you’re not making…a lot of people say oh, you’re making a big deal out of a moan-hill or whatever. You’re making a mountain out of a mouse-stack. I say no, no, no, that’s how it feels. It really feels like a mountain. But when Will Forte walks away from you, it might feel really big especially if other people saw it or even if it’s at work. You say well, I gotta work here.
That’s a natural understanding feeling. Now, the idea of where does that place you in the universe or that boredom transcends time and space, pre-dates it…if only we were there to observe it. I get it, I get it, I get it. Boredom would only exist if we were there to observe it, but it is there if it was observable…isn’t meant to say oh, you’re a tiny speck in the universe and your feelings are a tiny speck, ‘cause your feelings don’t feel like a tiny speck. They feel universal. There’s the key to unlock the door, possibly, or just say hey, uh-huh. Instead of spinning it in a negative way, you say wow, these are really…these are big-bang-level feelings I’m feeling. Yeah, and then in the idea of the universe they’re probably tiny, but they don’t feel tiny. Then that may lead you to the place of saying…and is someone…someone might say blah, blah, blah, but someone that can really…like Brad Braderson. I’ve been there. I can say well, I’ve had big feelings about small stuff, too. What about that, Will?
Big feelings about small stuff. That is also universal. I would even posit this; I have not been back to the beginning of the universe. Or you say, well, boredom predates emotion. That’s one thing I’d just like to point out to you. But when the first thing in the universe emoted, experienced emotions, I would say that there was probably big feelings about what some would call small things. But what if you don’t say they’re small things? You say well, those are big feelings. Big feelings are universal, too. I think you get what I’m saying, maybe. Maybe not, because some people say don’t worry about little things. You say well, I would say don’t worry about the worry about small things and recognize that these things…they do transcend time and space. Some scientists would probably say I’m wrong. Then I would have the feelings, then I would get another chance to explore my feelings about that. Now, we go into this next idea…concept, the next stage of our seminar as we try to look at this idea of losing rapport and losing attention to gain it.
These are actually…sometimes these are take-and-go things, but this is actually…we’re building to something here. We’re going somewhere. Even in our, obviously our mental exercises, we’ve been going somewhere. But this is the idea building on what we were talking about earlier. There is not a…now, some people would say maybe…is Scooter the most boring person in the world or the most boringest, and incorrect…the most incorrectest when he uses words? I would say there is no most-boring. Just like some of the listeners, maybe you say well, Scooter’s not boring. He’s just…The Boredom Institute isn’t just about boredom. It’s about health, wealth, and happiness, and the washboard abs all through boredom for a low, low price that eventually goes up. This, again, is a two-sided thing. You may feel like the most boring person in the world. If you are, that’s a powerful thing to be, but you may not be. You may not be able to one-up…out-bore the borers.
But what’s wrong with being boring, is what I’m saying; is the idea of being the top of meeting these expectations that say well, I gotta…could you really…do you really need to charm Will Forte or your coworkers? Again, this is not a easy thing. Brad’s not saying this is an instant thing. Or could you just be yourself? Isn’t that pretty good? I just know from me, thinking about why did I think of borepopia? Why didn’t I think of bore-bundance? How did I not think of that ‘til just now accidentally while giving a seminar? I don’t know if you could hear this but when I say this, my hand is on my chest in a loving manner. Maybe you could do that sometime, is put your hand on your chest or your stomach in a loving way and say Brad, you’ll probably never be the…it’s okay, you don’t even have to put anymore words…I say, it’s okay. I understand we want to…we have…Brad, that means you have an imagination, a strong one, when you’re always thinking when’s Brad gonna shine?
When’s Will Forte gonna say what was that other idea you had that didn’t use my name? ‘Cause I kinda like that one. I’d say Will, I forgot. It wasn’t the one where you talk about forts or people that are good at stuff, huh? I think it was…I can’t remember. But you liked that idea, huh? Well, this is just an…oh, okay, well, I’m just imagining. I guess I’m imagining…and now we move into the next part of this. Again, these are practices you could do at home. You go further in because this is timeless. You say, what am I really looking for here with Will? What would happen if I impressed…if I did remember the impressive idea I told the imaginary Will Forte in my mind? I’d feel suddenly a big bang, maybe. But I’m imagining that. I say oh, wow, I feel…I’d suddenly feel…just maybe feel those feelings too and say [00:50:00] oof, boy, that feels good, making Will Forte laugh and saying oh, boy. You say okay, well, are those feelings out there anywhere else for me to find?
Maybe I’m searching for those feelings and not necessarily…and just get to know the feelings better. Maybe they have a texture. Maybe they have a taste. These are kinda the feelings of one-upping, almost, of being…you say well, I was the one that no one else at work…impressed. Or, I was a star of the show. That’s okay to want that. What I’m saying is when you’re imagining that…and some would say these are expectations on the higher end. You’re imagining these grand expectations. Don’t spin the electrons on that in a negative or a positive direction. Look at and observe how is that spinning and what does it feel like? Just get to know those feelings a little bit better. See where they lead you. Correct? You’d say okay, so you’re say…Brad, are you telling me at this point in the seminar that we’re looking at, what would it be like…you started out with one thing but now you’re leading me to the flipped side of it. What do I imagine it’d feel like if I never lost rapport?
If I had a natural rapport and I didn’t have to take a seminar on using boredom? Or, I always won people over because that is a powerful part of my imagination. You’re right, Brad. Oh, what did that feel like? What would that bring me or what do I imagine it would bring me, and how would I imagine it would make me feel? But Brad, you’re saying not to disconnect it from the expectations or the imaginary exercise, but to kind of…instead of thinking about it intellectually or from the imagination standpoint, move into the feelings more and say wow, what are those feelings like? That’s interesting. You don’t have a bore-bone in your body anymore. Huh. Does that feel different or…oh no, you’ve reached boredom mastery. Now you’re able to use boredom in ways that people never thought before possible. You’ve shown the world the power of bore-bundance and through the bore-bundance, you’ve attained health, wealth, and happiness and those washboard abs that we all…but you say wait a second, Brad, are you still leading me…?
I say yeah, what is it…what do those things really represent to you? Instead of reaching for the feeling or running towards it, let it float in like a cloud and be around you for a little while. Say huh, how do I feel when I’m impressing someone or imagining I’m impressing someone in a way that transcends time and space? Just experience that. You say okay Brad, where are we now? I’d say well, we’re right here together right now. We’re moving into our next place which is…again, I guess I have to work on this. I was gonna say bresence or bore-presence, but bore-presence is just…it sounds like presents like a gift instead of presence like, being in the room. I guess I could say the room where it doesn’t happen. You say well, I’ve…I want to be in the room where it happens. I say well, let’s start off in the room where nothing happens. Call it Scooter’s bedroom. Sorry, Scooter. Thanks for letting the Boredom Institute…thanks for letting us use your show.
But we’re leaning into these experiments we’re doing, these imaginary…these real exercises within the imagination, and with the goal of being more present, being more present for our boredom, and also being more present for the feelings around our boredom; the spins we may or may not be putting on them. We don’t know. We’re trying to learn to observe them and be there and give them space. One of the things that we would like to achieve in this process – and it’s not a universal all-or-nothing thing – is if you can be present for something, is there a spectrum of acceptance you can reach? ‘Cause some people would say just accept it or oh, it’s something positive. We, who cross paths after midnight as we’ll say here, we know that that’s not necessarily the truth, that it’s much more of a spectrum. Can we go from observer to someplace…you say well, I’m just kind of watching that or saying well, I’ve experienced that before, this hope or this worry or these strong feelings about not being the charmer of the party.
Can we move more into a place of being present for it and then saying well, I accept that you wish that. I accept that you feel that way, and I’ve kind of been hinting at this the whole time. But really, we’re looking to put our feet into this world, and Scooter actually taught me this technique. I guess I’d just throw it in here because…is he calls it the big toe technique and he said he doesn’t know if he learned this from something or he thought of it as…on his own. But when he does a performance in front of people, he gets…or I guess he says he forgets to use it for other situations, but when he used to do live shows, he would be very…he would say oh, this is not gonna happen. I can’t possibly do a live performance for people. He would talk to his big toe and he would say well, what if just my big toe could be excited about this or present for it? The rest of me maybe needs some distance or is just feeling these feelings that we’re present here for. But my big toe is leaning in.
My big toe is excited and comfortable. Not even saying that; saying, could you? Could you, big toe, do that? He said sometimes when he would remember, which wasn’t often, he would just press his big toe down as I’m doing now. I’m pressing one of my big toes down and saying okay, that big toe is here. That big toe is present and is…now, this leads into Brad’s thing, is accepting of everything else. Now, I’m not 100%. Say well, are you able to accept that the rest of me is not sure about being here for this performance or at this work party or at this other function? Are you saying that…you say well, okay, what is it like if my big toe is pressed down? That part of me is comfortable. Just a tiny percent. I don’t know what it is; like, .2% or something. Maybe more ‘cause it’s the big toe. You say okay, yeah, you’re here. What do you think about all the…well, I can accept that you don’t want to be here even though my big toe does.
Maybe you’re even talking about it out loud and Will Forte’s saying, are you talking about pressing your big…? I say yeah, I am. A little bit nervous here, Will, talking to you because I loved you in that movie so much or that show, or just your general all-around presence. I thought I blew a…and this is just an imaginary exercise ‘cause again, we’re trying to move into a place and say well, I’m…accept that you’re a little bit nervous and awkward. It’s totally cool with me. I’m pressing my big toe down for it. You got it? I got it. Good. By gaining presence and acceptance with either that or anything else…and you say well, I’m just a little bit of a degree of accepting and being present for it. You could actually maybe feel good about it. Maybe you’re a loving, comforting presence or maybe your big toe is that loving, comforting presence to say hey, it’s okay. Again, maybe this could transfer outside of you to other people and say well, I could see you’re nervous or worried about that.
[01:00:00] It’s totally normal. Where does all that leave us? Where have we gone on this journey and where would we like to go is the idea that one day, if you’re accepting these things and working these things…and again, looking at it like an experiment instead of…like me, Brad Braderson, I really tend to see things in a all-or-nothing…in a global, big…everything is a global big bang inside of Brad Braderson. Maybe I just go back and forth through all-or-nothing and maybe sometimes I can use these more spectrum-based ideas. But you say Brad, how are we gonna get health, wealth, and happiness and washboard abs through all this? I say well, eventually you will. But eventually with this technique, the idea is that there is some softness, like the idea that your rear or your flank is exposed, right? That’s the feeling we’re talking about here in these interpersonal situations. You say well, I don’t like that idea. You say okay, that’s…I accept that, too. That’s perfectly normal.
Can we lead you to a place where you get to some…where that degree of acceptance only sometimes gets to the point where you say well, it’s…I know it’s gonna be okay though, if I lose rapport. I accept that I’m not good at it and what will happen then? There is a paradox there. By accepting things and having a presence and being a little bit more grounded, maybe you’re more present for Will Forte or your coworkers. Maybe you feel…we don’t know because this is an experiment. Maybe by not having to…maybe by more experiencing the feelings beforehand, but not trying to plan out what you’re gonna say, you realized you don’t have to say much at all. Maybe you realized that you don’t have to win any rapport. You’re just trying to build rapport because that’s what everybody says anyway. There’s no rapport winners because then you say well, I’m the rapport loster. You’ll find that by putting that toe down and saying well, huh, there’s a lot of feelings here, I can be present for these feelings with part of my toe or part of my foot but I could also try to be present for this other person.
I could also be…this, again, is advanced techniques of boredom. You just give yourself a break. You say hey, this has been around for a long time, a lot longer than me. That doesn’t diminish the strong feelings you’re having. It’s a reminder you’re not alone and that yeah, you could try this. You could try it out. I realize that this isn’t the flashiest of seminars we’ve done here at The Boredom Institute. That’s why I was free on this podcast because you say well, it doesn’t have an exact, tangible result. I’d say is it worth a try? Here, from Brad Braderson to you, I’d say you’re worth a try. So, whether you put your big toe into it or your hand gently on your chest or both, and you breathe in and you say hey, yeah, that’s strong stuff. I’m here for you. If that’s all you get out of this seminar, that’s all that matters. Goodnight from Brad Braderson and The Boredom Institute. Thanks, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
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