886 – We’ll Always Have Paris | Sleep With TNG

EPISODE 886 – TNG We’ll Always Have Paris

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and my patron peeps; hey, patrons.  Good evening.  I’m here to put you to sleep and you enable me to do that.  Thank you.  Let’s get on with the show.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts you’re thinking about, things on your mind, things you’re…I guess, yeah, things you’re thinking about, feelings like any emotions coming up for you, or physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine, any inside or outside…anything going on.  Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to help with that.  What I’m gonna do is I got a safe place here, as I like to say.  I’m smoothing it, I’m patting it, I’m rubbing it down, and I’m saying safe place just like I was a part of the east coast family, but I’m a part of…I’m coast-to-coast, pole-to-pole.  Whatever, whatever your longitude or latitude is, I’m coming to you with a safe place.

 

Longitudinally and latitudinally.  I like that.  I haven’t used these kinds of words before on the podcast.  The way it’s gonna get there, is I’m gonna send it across…I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.  They’re both creaky and dulcet which kind of means sweet or pretty nice.  Dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.  I’m gonna go off-topic and I’m gonna bend…I’m gonna be bending…my logic is circular or…I guess it’s not ovular.  Here’s a question I really don’t know the answer to; are there any ovular planets or planets only spheroids?  Is an oval a spheroid?  That’s another one.  I guess it would be a sphere.  It’d be a oval.  Oval…what’s an ovaloid?  You’d say I don’t know, is that some sort of new breakfast cereal?  Oh yeah, it’s…well, that was a failed breakfast cereal by Ovaltine.  What’s Ovaltine?  Great question.  I believe my parents used to drink it.  I know the kid from A Christmas Story drank it.  I don’t know.

 

I think it’s just chocolate milk and…I don’t know what else.  Yeah, don’t know.  Okay, well, maybe you should get some.  Maybe I should.  I don’t know.  Has anybody ever taken the ad for Maybelline and said maybe it’s Ovaltine?  Then said ovaloid…ovoid.  I guess that’s it; spheroid, ovoid.  I think that’s it; ovaloid.  The old ovaloid.  Yeah, that was that…that was the character on…what was the word…?  What was that drink?  Ovaltine.  The character on Ovaltine was the ovaloid.  Had a whole backstory; I’m not familiar with it though because that was before my time.  Doesn’t answer my question about…I mean, I’ve seen asteroids that are oval-esque or nearly ovular.  Here’s another possible biography I could write; Almost an Oval: An Android’s Story…Tales Across the…My Tales Across the Universe Being Almost an Oval.  Yeah, didn’t…not selling that one, either.  That’s that.  Oh, what am I doing?  Oh, going off-topic.  I just did that.  Sorry about that.  If you’re new, welcome.

 

I’m glad you’re here.  That does happen a lot but if you’re new, let me give you some information, as close to…right up-front, I mean, ten, twelve minutes into the show.  That’s usually when I give it out anyway.  But if you’re new and you’re doubtful or your skeptical or you’re disoriented already, or maybe you’re a little frowny-faced, you’re not sure if you like this, that’s totally understandable.  You’re in good company ‘cause that’s what almost every regular listener said when they first started listening to this show.  The most common phrase is what in the heck; most listeners say when they listen to this podcast.  If you’re doubtful or skeptical, totally legit, totally normal reaction.  I wanted to acknowledge that.  Also want to tell you this is a podcast you don’t really need to listen to.  It’s more…listen to in a out-of-focus way or in a way where you could almost barely hear me.  You just gotta…where I get to a mumble, at least at first.

 

You could listen to me at whatever volume works, but just…in reality what I’m saying is don’t pay me any mind, as my nana always says; don’t pay him any mind.  The podcast, you don’t need to listen to.  One of the few podcasts you don’t need to listen to.  It’s also a sleep podcast that’s not really here to put you to sleep.  It’s here to keep you company as you fall asleep, so a little bit different.  Yeah, I’m here to be your bedside…your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your bore-sib, your bore-bruh.  Whatever it is, your friend in the deep, dark night, really.  That’s what I hope to…so, a podcast you don’t need to listen to but there’s no pressure to fall asleep.  That’s also why the episodes are about an hour, is to give you plenty of time to drift off so you have plenty of time to fall asleep.  I’ll be here ‘til the very end.  If you can’t sleep, I make this show just as much for you, or if you need to listen to it during the day, I’m here.  These episodes are complete.

 

They’re also completely full of nonsense but they are complete.  Yeah, so I just want you to know that.  A podcast you don’t need to listen to, no pressure to fall asleep.  Okay, structure is the other thing I’m supposed to cover.  This podcast is also a little bit different structurally.  The show starts off with a greeting, then there’s business.  That’s how we’re able to bring you this podcast free twice a week, so I appreciate…more the regular listeners.  If you’re new, not important.  Then there’s an intro.  So, some people, the business throws off and then the new listeners…then most new listeners get thrown off by the intro ‘cause the intro is normally very efficient and to the point.  Mine is not because it’s…one, because it’s a sleep podcast.  Two, it’s just what has worked for the audience over the years.  The intro’s really me talking about the podcast and trying to introduce it for somewhere around six minutes to twenty minutes, so anywhere between minute four and minute eight to minute twelve to minute twenty-two, I’m doing the intro.

 

Why, you might ask?  Why do you just ramble on and on for twelve to eighteen to twenty to seventeen to nineteen to thirteen to fourteen to fifteen minutes about the…introducing the podcast?  I say that’s a great question, especially if you’re new; totally natural to wonder that.  I’m tempted when you say why, to say…tell them that’s human…it’s just Scoots’ nature to go off-topic so that’s one reason why it’s so long.  But the real reason is because it eases you into bedtime.  The whole idea of Sleep With Me, or the difference between Sleep With Me and a lot of other stuff, is that some stuff is more solution-based and maybe that’s a shiny, fancy way of saying it works real darn good, or that it’s the best.  I’d say Sleep With Me is not the best.  It’s just, I’m not striving to be the best in anything.  I’m just striving to be here on a regular basis and be pretty darn not bad.  But the whole idea of the intro is it eases you into bedtime.  It gives you a long landing strip ‘cause I find that stuff that’s supposed to work, that keeps me up longer, in my opinion.

 

That’s why this show’s different than that, ‘cause I found that when something’s supposed to work or supposed to work fast, then the pressure’s on me as the listener…I say well, I don’t know what my spirit animal is.  Now I gotta take it on a journey?  I’m still trying to think of what my spirit animal is.  Or, I can’t really pay attention and listen along, or whatever it is.  You know what I’m saying.  Sleep With Me, or the intro, it’s just something to kind of barely listen to.  But the whole idea is that for regular listeners, the majority of them…well, a lot of people listen during the day now, to relax to the intros, but then a lot of listeners start it before they get into bed, as they’re getting ready for bed, or once they’re in bed, getting comfortable so that…it’s just here while you wind-down, to ease you into bedtime.  I think I use that over and over again ‘cause that’s really my goal.  Now, the next thing you might want to know is why would I do it or why do I make this sleep podcast?

 

I say well, because I’ve been there [00:10:00] and I know how it feels in the deep, dark night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.  I’ve had it all; trouble getting back to sleep, the old falling asleep for five minutes and waking back up like you slept eight hours.  Not that I’m irritated with that one, but I am.  I’ve been there and I know how it feels.  The other thing is, I think that I really, truly believe that you deserve a good night’s sleep.  I think that’s important; that’s what I was gonna say.  It’s important for you to know that, that that’s really what I feel in my heart, is that you deserve a place of respite and while I can’t provide that for everybody, I hope I can provide it for you.  The downside is, this podcast just doesn’t work for everybody.  Probably doesn’t even work for the majority of the people that listen.  It just works for the people it works for.  I wish it worked for everybody because you deserve a good night’s sleep and your life will be a little bit better, or a lot bit better if you get the rest you deserve.

 

I don’t know, those are the reasons why I make the show.  I don’t know, I went off-topic; I was talking about ovoids, Ovaltine.  Then something else came up in the middle of that, some part of the intro, but I already forgot what those other things were.  Then at the beginning, I was thinking about…what did I say?  Oh, I said…I put the…I don’t put the…I put the…did I say goodnight?  Then I forgot.  I said I don’t put the good in night.  I don’t put the nigh in night though, either.  Goodnight.  Welcome…I don’t know, I thought I said something witty at the beginning but I already forgot what it was.  Yeah, you will notice as you listen to the show, that my logic is ovular or…I guess it is ovoid.  Spheroid, ovoid.  Would it be an octoid, an eight-sided oid?  How many oids did a oid-oid oid if an oid-oid could oid oids?  It’s never been asked before.  It should have, though.  I think I thought of some words I never used on the podcast; I guess somebody will have to remind me what those words were.

 

Speaking of space, though; tonight, we’ll be talking about TNG.  Oh, I was supposed to talk about the structure of the show and then I went off-topic.  So yeah, the show starts off with the greeting, business, intro, then there’s business.  That’s just kind of the structure of podcasting, then there’s a story.  Tonight will be a recap of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, recommended by my friend Lauren at This is Love podcast, and another famous podcast that she makes with Phoebe.  I’m excited to talk about that episode.  But you might say well, I don’t watch Star Trek TNG or I do watch…I said don’t worry, it’ll be…I say don’t worry, this’ll be the most…it’ll be an incomprehensible recap of an episode where you say, was that a fairy tale?  That’s a TV show.  I want you to know that.  Let’s go back, though, before I close out this intro; so, octoid…I’m trying to think.  There’s spheroid…means sphere.  Rectoid…there’s that other roid I just thought of, that’s why I’m laughing.

 

‘Cause I said rectoid; that sounds…why do they call it the other thing?  They should call it a rectoid.  It’d be very accurate.  Squaroid…that doesn’t sound like something ‘cause it’d be so hard to say.  Sqoid, squiroid; that’d be a squirrel…squirrel…like, an oid that’s a squirrel.  Spheroid…what’s the difference between a sphere and a spheroid?  Is it just really big?  Like, interplanetary size?  I wish I had Data here to explain to me that.  It just sounds inefficient.  You say well, that planet’s a sphere.  I guess that’s hard…you say I’m sorry.  Did you say it’s here?  No, no, it’s a sphere, my dear.  You say okay, Riker, keep it to yourself.  They say no, spheroid.  You say oh, okay, thanks for adding that oid in there; it helped clarify that you weren’t saying it’s here.  You say have you seen any rectoids out there?  Rectoid, octoid…octoid may be a…in a video game.  If anybody’s making a video game, put a octoid in there.  It could be either a big boss or a type of being.

 

Quadroid, that would be a robot…that would be a droid.  That’s the first out of all the oids; that’s the first droid, quadroid.  You say well, I can do it to the power of four.  After that, I’m useless.  What other ones we got?  Octoid…I don’t know any of…I wish I had more…I wish my geometry vocabulary was stronger ‘cause we could have a field day with this.  Does any juggler say that they…they say well, I don’t juggle balls; I juggle spheroids and octoids and a rectoid.  That sounded funny just ‘cause I said…there was an ‘e’ before the rectoid.  I didn’t realize that that would…if you need a laugh later, like you’re lying in bed and you’re guffawing, it’s because you’re thinking of when the juggler said yeah, an erectoid.  You say I don’t know what that means but it sounds very funny.  I could see someone juggling…you say well, the only person who could juggle that is someone who has a universal…you know.  I say okay, great.  I’m sure there’s jugglers in the divine realms.

 

There’s probably jugglers…somebody’s gotta entertain them.  But I’m not really here to entertain you.  I’m here to take your mind off of stuff which, I think that experiment probably proved that this podcast takes your mind off stuff, keeps you company as you drift off.  It doesn’t work for everybody but the majority…this is, like…hundreds of thousands of people have said give it a few tries before you give up on it.  That just sounds…that sounds so mediocroid.  You’d say Scooter, what award did you…I heard you won a big award.  Yup, I won the mediocroid.  It was given to me by Dan Ackroyd for my cheap rhyming schemes.  Yep, then first, the winner of the international mediocroid for achievements in mediocrity.  Really, I’m just here to keep you company as you drift off.  I really appreciate you checking the show out.  I’m glad you’re here.  I work very hard; I yearn and I strive and I want to help you fall asleep.  Here’s a couple ways we’re able to bring you this podcast free on a regular basis.

 

Alright everybody, we’re talking about season one, Episode 25 of Star Trek: The Next Generation, We’ll Always Have Paris.  This episode’s stardate 41697.9.  Opens with the captain’s log that told us that fact; we’ll always have Paris.  They’re en route for…where are they going?  Sonora VIII, I believe.  Let me see.  Where are you going?  Where are…Sonora…Sarona.  Oh yeah, My Sharona.  Oh yeah, I have it here in my notes.  Sarona VIII which is…shore leave…something about luxury.  Looking forward…the whole crew’s looking forward to some diversions.  On a personal note…oh, I’ve allowed myself the luxury of a head start.  First, I thought this was on the holodeck which I still don’t know if it is or it isn’t, ‘cause I thought…so, it’s Jean-Luc fencing with someone.  At first, I thought it was the holodeck.  On the second or third watch, I realized that it may be a human.  According to the thing, it’s Lieutenant Dean.  Lieutenant Dean is a very sweaty person.

 

I mean, he’s working hard going against Jean-Luc.  Jean-Luc sweats but not as much as Lieutenant Dean.  Lieutenant Dean looks like someone famous, but the actor…it’s not who we think it is.  I said who is that?  It’s somebody that’s on shows and stuff.  But apparently, it isn’t.  Then they say en garde.  First, Lieutenant Dean gets the upper hand on Jean-Luc.  Yeah, and that’s where you see he’s sweating much more.  Then, Jean-Luc gets a point.  He says yeah, that was the act of a desperate man.  Sometimes these things get…the themes get planted in the episode for us a little bit, so that makes it interesting.  Right now, they’re going…a lot of fencing.  What do you call that…it’s interesting suits they’re wearing.  I know they’re protective but they look very…they’re not exact…they’re pretty funny.  My daughter was cracking up watching it.  Yeah, so Jean-Luc just got the upper hand on Lieutenant Dean.  He says yeah, what was [00:20:00] that move?  The interesting move, sir; what do you call it?

 

What technique?  The technique of a desperate man.  Then they go to salute one another but it repeats and he says what technique was that?  The technique of a desperate man.  Dean said what happened there?  Picard walks off.  That’s when I thought it was still…he calls Riker.  He says is something unusual going on up there?  Riker says yeah, some kind of loop, boss.  Everything repeated itself.  Yeah, so did…then I said did…close it with…is there a actual fencing room on the ship?  Then they go to the bridge.  Picard’s got a maroon towel that he brought with him to…I’d say Lieutenant Deans needs three or four towels.  Data says it was a bit like déjà vu, or somebody says that.  Computers are affected though, too, so it was not an illusion; that’s what Data says.  Occurred in real time.  Riker says call everybody in the sector.  See if it happened to everybody else.  Then the Pegos Minors send out a transmission.  They put it on…Dr. Paul Manheim.

 

Picard’s drying off his sweat but you could tell he’s curious.  He says hey, come and get us.  We need some backup down here.  Coordinates are 66728.9.  We’re looking out the window by 07075.  Automated signal…can’t contact them, Worf says.  He says yeah, this…it’s repetitive.  La Forge, get over there.  No problem; aye, sir.  Captain, let’s figure out the…if these two things are related.  Picard says Paul Manheim, that rings a bell.  Fifteen years ago, he was working on experiments; non-linear time.  Maybe he got successful.  Warp eight.  Aye sir, warp eight.  Engage.  They engage and the episode opens.  We’re still back on the bridge in real time and Picard’s bouncing his legs, sitting on the bridge.  His legs are crossed and we get some exposition but Riker says sir, I never heard of this Paul Manheim.  Picard goes well, Mr. Data, why don’t you fill us in, dude?  ‘Cause you’re good at that.  I guess Wesley’s already at the academy.  What does Data say?  [inaudible] Paul, Mr. Data.

 

Respected scientist, visionary…several time-related theories regarding time and gravity.  Intriguing but never got wide acceptance, much like my father, Data didn’t say.  Picard starts filling it in.  He’s like, slapping his towel in this weird way which shows that he’s…something’s on his mind.  He says yeah, a team of scientists, Manheim, they went off to expand the research.  Troi’s watching him.  Really good acting if you watch her in the background.  Did you know him?  Picard says well, I knew of him in Paris.  He was a teacher.  Didn’t have the pleasure of meeting him but oh, by the way, I gotta go change my clothes real quick.  Tell me when we get there and find out if anybody else felt that distortion ‘cause I’m feeling a distortion right now.  Then Troi says captain, could we talk for a second?  He says yeah.  She goes, probably in private.  He goes no, no, not necessary.  She goes well, you’ve kind of tripped out when they said Manheim.  Intense emotion.  He goes yeah, get to the point.

 

She goes well, personal…I could tell it’s personal.  I don’t want to…unresolved strong emotion can affect judgement.  Picard goes well, the elevator’s here.  Thanks for your concern.  She goes well, I’m the ship’s counsellor.  I could help.  He goes well, what do you think?  She says yeah, confronting deep issues is not easy for you.  You kind of suppress things.  You got a few hours to figure all this out, though.  Maybe you should analyze your feelings; use this time ‘til we get there, put ‘em in perspective maybe.  He goes thank you, counsellor.  I’ll let you know if I need any other help.  Then we have a thoughtful Troi face for about four seconds.  Picard puts his fencing stuff away, cleans off his sword, even, or his foil.  Oh, he pauses halfway through it.  Now, our friend Lauren recommended this episode ‘cause this shows Picard’s softer side.  Yeah, when he’s putting away his foil, I really…I missed that scene before.  Then he starts to head to the bridge.  He says belay that; takes a deep breath.

 

How long we got, computer, ‘til Pegos Minor?  Two hours and nine minutes.  He says okay, Holodeck 3 then, in that case.  On Holodeck 3, he goes up there.  He says this is Picard.  New whatever…they say don’t worry, nobody’s on here.  He goes, Paris, Café de Artiste as it appeared twenty-two years ago.  He puts his hands to his face.  He says April the 9th, 1500 hours, AKA 3:00 p.m.  Warm spring day.  The computer does that.  There’s birds, there’s someone playing a bong harp.  I’m not even kidding.  It’s some sort of tubular musical instrument.  There’s somebody Facetiming.  It’s a café…the bong harp makes accordion music which I looked up.  Dude Facetiming with screen…this is the first…oh, the maître d’ says first time in Paris?  Picard goes, heck no.  Looks like there’s cherry or apple blossoms.  Welcome to Café de Artiste.  Then he says this way.  Picard goes no, no, no, that’s not how I work.  I advocate for my needs.  I don’t want to sit at this table.  I’d like to sit at that one.  He goes oh, sure.

 

We’re here to please you, always.  Picard, instead of sitting down, he walks over to the balcony and really soaks it in.  We see the futuristic Paris, Eiffel tower.  Been away for too long, Picard says.  He goes, how about some wine and cheese since this is a café?  Picard goes well, I’m not hungry, even though it’s a café.  I’m here for the view.  The guy goes, perhaps hunger is not what is on the menu, or perhaps you hunger for what is not on the menu.  Picard goes, perhaps not.  Many years ago, I had a rendezvous set up here.  The guy goes well, that’s what the holodeck’s for, actually.  He goes, right here at that very table.  He goes, your young lady, she did not come?  Picard goes, I don’t know.  I imagine she came here but the last…the maître d’ goes oh, you did not.  Picard nods.  He says ah, have a seat even if you’re not gonna order anything.  He goes, I’ll bring you something special though, even though you don’t want anything, ‘cause I gotta charge you.  I need to…Picard starts listening in on another…two women having a conversation.

 

Picard listens in.  One of the women is waiting for someone.  Picard’s really staring.  She goes, what are you…?  She goes, do you know…can I help you?  Do we know each other?  He goes, no.  She goes do I remind you of somebody?  What are you staring at?  He goes no, but not too aggressive.  She’s really curious.  She goes well, kind of you do, actually, remind me of someone.  She says well, he’s not coming.  What did I do to drive him away?  Picard goes, maybe nothing.  Maybe he had no choice.  This is therapeutic.  Maybe he was afraid.  She goes of what, of me?  He goes, being connected, rooted.  He goes, perhaps if he’s as young as you are, he doesn’t know exactly what he wants to do.  He says maybe, ‘cause even Picard’s unsure.  She kind of shakes her head.  Then Picard says enough of this self-indulgence; exit.  I forgot to ask when he got dressed, ‘cause he’s dressed.  But then I said yeah, ‘cause he was in his outfit before.  Then we go back to Data…then we go back to the bridge.

 

He goes back to work now.  They go yeah…other ones had that same time loop, same time distortion.  Like a hiccup, captain.  Lalo says that.  Picard goes hiccup?  Data says, incorrect analogy.  How so?  Hiccup is when you hiccup.  He goes, this body function would be best represented by a…then Picard goes, I don’t want to know, Data.  He goes, what do you know about the Manheim projects?  Data says same thing; gravity experiments.  Then Geordi says we’re here but there’s nothing here.  Then Worf goes, new…it was a relay.  Now new coordinates; 648, 13.237, 4949.9.  Geordi says that’s remote; [00:30:00] Vandor system.  Totally out there.  Binary star system, B-class giant with a pulsar.  Picard goes let’s go, let’s do it.  Riker says why’s this so hard to find, eh?  Then…oh, also Data and some…Data…the next scene, Data and another dude change seats.  Vandor 4 is around something…standard orbit, Picard says.  Hailing view screen on.

 

One small planet that’s got a forcefield.  They say okay, is it penetrable?  No.  Let’s hail them.  Hailing frequencies open.  He says this is the captain…oh boy, captain…almost says Picard.  Data and Geordi give each other a look like WTF.  He goes, captain of the Enterprise.  Where are you?  There’s a woman’s voice; can you help us out?  Just the two of us down here.  My husband’s sound asleep.  I say lock on it…no forcefield, can’t let us…only audio.  Picard says you gotta turn off your forcefield, alright, so we can help you shut it down.  He says okay, I’ll try.  Forcefield’s off.  Picard claps; great.  Lock on, send them to Sickbay.  Crusher, get ready.  They say that’s where I’ll be.  He goes Number One, Data, come with me.  Then they go back, they get on the turbo lift.  A woman and a guy in a smock, like a jacket on backwards, they beam into the med bay.  Dr. Crusher and another person are there to help.  They get right to work ‘cause they say…his smock is…he can’t…we can’t get…the zipper’s stuck and it’s reversed.  They say alright, we’ll get the zipper unstuck.  She goes, it’s really stuck.

 

Then Picard, Riker, and Data show up.  Picard is like, speechless.  The woman turns and she says Jean-Luc.  Beverly turns when she says that.  She goes, I thought I knew that voice.  Data and Riker share a look.  Picard goes oh, hello.  She goes, I should have known it was you.  Who else would have came to my rescue?  Riker and Data share another look.  Data’s eyebrows go up and we go to commercial.  Then we come back; Riker and Data get introduced.  Riker shakes her hand, Data does not.  They just nod.  Jenice Manheim.  Pleasure, Riker says.  Picard says I got some questions for you.  She goes, I hope I could help.  He goes, let’s go in somebody’s office.  We’ll just sit down in here.  Riker sits down at their desk and they go what happened to everybody?  They go, well something down there a couple weeks ago, everybody took off and I don’t even know ‘cause I wasn’t working there.  A lot of brilliant people, they left; left their jobs.  She goes, do you know the nature?

 

She goes well, Paul loves time.  Doesn’t think it’s immutable anymore than space is immutable.  Over the last decade, he believed there’s infinite dimensions and we’re only in one of them.  The only reason we’re here is ‘cause of time.  If we could figure that out, we could open up the windows…other dimensions.  Riker says okay.  She goes, what have you been having…something happen up here?  He goes yeah, this is light years of effect from your lab.  She goes, no wonder he zipped up his smock so fast he got the zipper caught.  I say why are you on Vandor?  She goes I don’t know.  Paul would know but because his jacket’s on backwards zipped up like a smock, he can’t talk ‘cause the collar’s in his mouth.  Then they’re trying to get more information out of her about gravity, what he was up to, that he was close to his theories.  Also, Data has to stand the whole time.  Picard stands for a little while and sits down, but Data has to stand up the whole time.  I didn’t know if that was comfortable or uncomfortable for him.

 

I say jeez, yeah, he took a lot of precautions so he could have…before he put…maybe…of course, if he has a smock on, that’s by definition a precaution.  You don’t want to spill any paint on yourself.  He goes, but you weren’t wearing a smock.  She goes no, no, I don’t…well, kind of, this is like a smock that I’m wearing but usually I don’t go in the lab that he’s working in, his salon.  But he was getting more close.  He’s trying to paint paintings of time to understand infinite dimensions with paint.  Then Picard stands.  Data had already left the room, apparently.  She goes, I didn’t think we’d meet up like this.  Then Beverly rolls in.  She goes, you’ve done so well.  You got a starship out in the galaxies.  Beverly’s like, what?  Everything you dreamed of, huh, sweetums?  Picard goes well, not everything.  Not everything works out as you hoped.  He goes anyway, I gotta send a team down there.  She goes, it’s protected to keep people out of his paints and dust, unless you have smocks, certified smocks…then Beverly interrupts; she says hey, I gotta ask you some questions about your husband and stuff.

 

If you’ll excuse us.  She kisses Jean-Luc’s cheek.  Everyone gives a look.  Data has a smirk on his face.  Picard goes yeah, we’re old friends.  Beverly goes, duh.  She goes, I don’t know how we’re…she goes, I think there’s some sort of cosmic web keeping this smock on.  I can’t get it off.  It’s some sort of multi-dimensional zipper twist.  We can’t even get the collar out of his…his nose, he has access to.  He’s breathing fine but we can’t communicate with him.  Then 19:05, what happened?  Are we at 19:05?  I guess…let’s see.  That must have been when they gave that silly look.  Let’s go back and just see.  19:05, him and Riker…oh, they look at something in the wall.  Yeah, that was strange.  Beverly rolls up…that was awkward, I put.  Nothing works as you happen…can’t get into the lab without smocks…thank you and a kiss goodbye.  Then Riker, Data, and Jean-Luc get on the turbo lift and they have a Back to the Future moment as they’re talking about the theories of Manheim and painting and time and space, and how are we gonna figure it out?

 

Then there’s a time loop where they see themselves…doesn’t go by the Back to the Future rules, clearly, because they see a version of Data, Jean-Luc, and Riker behind them in time and space.  Data says that’s the Manheim effect.  It’s becoming more pronounced.  This is where we started, if we are us.  Oh, we’re us, sir.  But also, they are us, so indeed we are both us at different points in the same time continuum.  It’s funny, then there’s a little joke ‘cause the door opens and they all look in like huh, anybody out there?  Anybody on there?  What the heck?  That was funny.  Then we’re in the Ready Room…fish tank…Riker and Data and Picard talking about the planet, second lab.  It’s the studio, actually.  There was another studio…we think we can bring our own smocks but there’s a lot of power down there.  They got solar power and geothermal.  We gotta figure out maybe something like that’s causing the time loop.  Also, they’re harnessing the energy of the pulsar.

 

They say we don’t…we gotta go down there, Riker says.  Manheim can’t talk…maybe he’s got notes.  Also, to answer that question, because his smock is so tight on his arms, he can’t write notes at this time.  They say okay, well, maybe the…everything else is off down there.  Picard says okay, get going.  They walk off, Picard stays and thinks for a few seconds.  Then they go down there.  It all comes down to this.  I liked that line.  But Worf, Riker, and Data try to scan out, but they’re losing integrity at the landing point so Chief Herbert tries to bring them back.  There’s an ad while he’s trying to bring them back.  He’s very Matthew Perry, like he looks a lot like…he says there’s some kind of bouncing effect going on.  They get back and they’re like, thanks man.  He goes, you’re lucky you made it back.  Worf cycles in even a few seconds after they did which was weird.  Delayed arrival for Worf.  Then Manheim is able to get his collar [00:40:00] down but he’s so dramatic, like very over-the-top, like an artist in a movie; he’s just talking nonsense or like a sleep podcaster.

 

His eyes open very suddenly, then he…’cause he was sleeping.  Also, the other…Beverly’s assistant, he was on his phone texting somebody.  He goes oh boy, that guy woke up.  I should have been paying attention.  He goes, I don’t even remember what happened.  He goes, you don’t remember…he goes, remember those new paints I got?  Then Beverly comes in.  She goes…Paul’s like…he’s like, I don’t know what’s going on.  He says it’s changing; time, space, my views.  I’m phasing in and out.  They go, no, you’re not.  He goes, I’ve been to the other side.  I touched another dimension.  F-L-A-S-H-B-A-C-K from the…from magical…he’s full of silly cylobin, is what he is.  My mind is floating between two places; difficult to know which is which.  He’s still in a silly cylobin place.  Then Picard rolls up; yo, Manheim.  He goes, are you the same one?  His wife nods.  He goes, she told me about you but not too much, not everything, thank goodness.  Picard goes, it’s not good down there.

 

He goes, yeah…then Picard goes, we gotta stop it.  He goes, I can’t even think straight, man.  They go doctor, this is Data.  Can you just tell him what’s going on?  He’ll be able to handle it.  Data goes, I know all your theories; time, gravity.  The guy goes, how is that possible?  It’s hilarious.  It’s not supposed to be a hilarious scene but there’s just something about the way he’s on…he’s just having a bad journey, if you know what I mean.  It is kind of hilarious.  Then he’s trying to talk to Data.  He says how is that even possible?  His voice…I’m not even fully versed in all my theories.  Data goes, I’m an android.  That totally blows the dude’s mind.  He’s like, what?  How’s that possible, man?  Whoa, boy.  Harsh my mellow.  He goes, on a Starfleet vessel?  Yeah, just, I’m special; only one.  Picard backs him up; he goes, your knowledge is useless.  He goes, most of my theories are obsolete.  Data goes, let me lay this on you, man…dynamic energy source?  He goes oh, you get it, man.

 

He goes, center of the planetoid.  We gotta get in there.  Paint your way inside, Data.  Data goes okay.  He goes, pulsar energy, planetoid energy, opened a crack in the window…he goes, remember that TV show?  Just like that, crack into another dimension.  Then they talk about the…he goes, wait a second, this isn’t confined?  Data goes no, several thousand light years out.  He goes, you gotta shut this down, man.  He goes, the silly…he goes, this is a cosmic silly cylobin time.  Picard goes how do we get in there?  Where do we get some smocks?  He goes oh, I got some smocks hidden.  I’ll tell you where they’re hidden.  You can get those and then you can go into the studio, as long as you have a smock.  Then he takes a breaky-poo.  I think he saw a pink elephant floating.  Then we have Data, Worf, Riker, and Picard talking.  Data says okay, well, we gotta get…predict a time, timing of these incidents.  We gotta seal up that dimension ‘cause before it gets too big and we can’t…none of us can perceive reality.

 

He goes Worf, make sure those…see if you can make sure those smocks are ready and working.  The integrity of the smocks is everything.  Then Jenice comes in and they say oh boy, Jenice Manheim.  She goes, can I have the room?  Picard goes oh, yeah.  Everybody leaves.  She smiles, hands behind her back.  She goes, I knew you wouldn’t come to me.  He goes not under these circumstances, uh-uh.  She goes we’ve got unfinished business, Jean-Luc.  They stand on opposite sides of the room.  He goes yeah, we do.  She goes, why didn’t you meet me that last day in Paris?  Picard sighs, thinks.  He goes yeah, I was afraid.  She goes, I didn’t want this.  He goes, what?  She goes, I don’t want the truth.  Make something up, a soft, painless one.  Picard goes oh, I got the days mixed up, the Tuesday and Wednesday, or I went to the Café Mulan instead of the Artiste.  She goes, or was it raining and you couldn’t find a cab?  He goes uh-huh.  This is advanced level subtext for this; I love this.

 

Then she goes by the way, I waited all day.  It was raining.  Rained the rest of the week.  She goes, even went to Starfleet headquarters to find you and you were already shipped out.  She goes come on, Jean-Luc, time to spill the beans.  What happened?  Tell me the truth now.  He goes, it was fear; fear of seeing you, losing my resolve, fear of staying, losing myself.  Fear that neither of these choices was right and either would have…she goes a day didn’t go by when I didn’t look up at the sky and wonder why my Jean-Luc went away.  Puts his fingers to his lips; he says each time I returned to Earth my thoughts were filled with you.  She goes, I thought a lot of this over the years.  She goes, you’re relieved now.  Your greatest fear…the real reason you left…he goes, what’s that?  She goes, that life with me would have made you ordinary.  Actually, this actually pays off with Paul at the end, not in the most clear or best way, but of her choices.  Picard laughs really heartily.  Says jeesh, you’re wonderful.

 

You know me better than myself.  You could see right through me.  There’s like, music.  He goes yeah, am I that transparent?  She goes, only to me.  Then it goes back to an ad.  We see the ship like an asteroid in the stars.  We’re back in the med bay.  Beverly’s working hard.  Paul’s like, snoring.  He’s out cold.  She actually pets his head to comfort him when he’s having a bad dream.  She goes jeez, I wish I could talk to you, man, or talk some sense.  You’re just not making any sense.  Yeah, she’s very nice.  He’s like, kind of like a dog when it can’t sleep.  Paul makes those kind of noises.  Deanna rolls in.  Says Deanna, what’s up?  She goes yeah, I wanted to check on him.  She goes, no changes.  Nothing I do makes a difference for anybody around here; subtext city.  She goes, is that why you’re here?  She doesn’t even turn around.  She has her back to Deanna.  Deanna says well, I thought I was the empath.  Then they go into her office.  They should have a couple…but she’s working.

 

She goes, are you really okay?  She goes, what do you mean?  She goes, this is like…you’re gaga goo balls.  She goes, I don’t want to talk about the other stuff, if you please.  She goes, Captain Picard…she goes, I can’t compete with the past, okay?  No one could.  Deanna goes well, she’s a real person, by the way.  Beverly says well, he’s a person from the past and I gotta get back to work.  Then they have…Deanna takes a big breath for a few seconds.  Then we’re back on the bridge.  Data’s figuring out the next time distortion.  Crusher says Manheim’s awake; wants to talk to you, Jean-Luc.  Picard goes down there and he’s like, just coming out…he’s a little bit groggy.  Picard goes what’s up, man?  He goes, I’m not sure I gave you all the info.  I don’t even really know where this…I’m not positive I know where the smocks are anymore.  Picard goes, okay.  Then he goes, really, I wanted to tell you about Jenice.  Also, he still has a backwards shirt on, smock on.  Still haven’t been able to get that off.

 

He goes, every shirt in this universe is gonna be reversed and everybody will be stuck with stuck zippers if we don’t get to the bottom of this.  Picard goes okay, we’ll figure this out.  Let me just take a deep breath.  Then he says take care of…make sure my wife doesn’t have a reversed shirt smock stuck with a zipper, if you can.  I haven’t…you know, it’s been a lot of…not a lot of ups and mostly like a roller coaster with me.  I’m too much of an artist, [00:50:00] don’t deserve her, kind of thing.  She deserves better than me, like a Starfleet captain type.  Picard says you underestimate her.  I know because I once did.  Then Picard walks off and Manheim slowly lays his head down, then Picard and Data are in the hall.  Data’s talking still about the time distortions and reprise and specific points of time; where we are, where we were, where we will be.  Picard goes Data, I want you to do this solo, man, because of the smock situation.  I don’t want to send anybody else.  He goes yeah, it’s reasonable.

 

I'm a machine and dispensable.  Picard goes, indispensable.  That’s not why I’m sending you; I’m sending you because you can control things in the efforts of a time distortion.  Data goes yeah, that’s true; I see time as a constant.  You see it as flexible, you humans.  Hence the expression ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ which ‘til now has confused me.  Picard says I want you to put a stitch in time, which also gets paid off at the end of the episode.  Also thought that would be a good Data After Dark novel; An Away Team of One.  TNG After Midnight, An Away Team of One.  Data says I’ll go immediately.  Good work, Data.  Geordi’s there to help the other dude, Matthew Perry-looking dude, to do it right ‘cause he didn’t do it right last time.  Plus, Data’s his best friend.  Data energizes out.  He ends up in what looks like a bank lobby with ATMs.  Then, right out of…Manheim fish’s song, A Son of a Mule starts playing where it goes, ‘I hate laser beams’ and Data has to dance to the music.

 

Oh yeah, Manheim wakes up; he goes oh yeah, I forgot to mention the laser beams and the fish music which kinds of makes you…goes along with the distortions.  Data goes, even the music is distorted down here.  Then Manheim says, wait ‘til you get to the blacklights, man.  I have a whole blacklight room next.  Data goes into the black…there’s like, these fluorescent tube…blacklight tubes.  Data has to go through those and he’s in this blacklight dayglo room.  He’s like, totally speechless.  Holy cow, this actually looks pretty cool.  Then there’s a commercial and then after the ad break, Data works his way into the lab.  Also, I noticed Data types with I think his left hand.  Let me confirm that up here.  He’s watching the…there’s this thing that sprays paint out which Manheim did not really tell us about.  That’s why you need a smock.  Data puts on a smock and it’s like, a spinner squirting paint everywhere.  Data has to figure that out.  He goes, yeah…Picard goes, keep it on speaker, alright?

 

Data goes sure, boss.  He goes, this is some sort of instrument; music, lights, fog machines, spinning paint.  He goes, I gotta get a countdown to see when the next time it all kicks on at the same to distort time.  Goes okay, about one minute, thirty seconds.  They go, what’s next, Data?  He goes well, I gotta collect the paint, a specific amount of antimatter to realign the thing so it’s not spinning and spraying the paint around.  Theoretically, but I don’t know if that’ll actually work.  He opens up the antimatter.  That was with his right hand, though.  I didn’t look at the other one.  He gets…uses his clamper thing to get out some antimatter which has an orange light that turns…and then a red light that goes on when you have it clamped.  He goes, I gotta do this at exactly the right moment, right when they say ‘son of a mule, watch out where you go; take your laser beams away.’  Geordi, I need a countdown.  Plus, I got the antimatter moving towards the opening at the end of the lab.

 

Goes, I got a few seconds here.  Geordi, countdown on my mark.  Gets close…then the paint thing starts spinning up, the fog machine starts, then there’s like, three Datas as Geordi’s counting down.  It’s echoing so you can’t tell which Data is which or…they go captain, there’s three of us.  They’re all taking to one another.  Which one of us is supposed to do it, man?  Data goes, we don’t even have a smock on.  They go oh yeah, we’re getting covered in paint.  Then the middle Data goes, it’s me; I gotta drop it.  They all go up and they merge into one and they collect…they drop the antimatter, collect the paint, and the machine disappears.  They’re like Data, you okay?  He goes yeah.  They go, is it closed up?  He goes, well-patched, sir.  Closed indicates a permanent condition I cannot guarantee.  They get a low shot of Picard.  He goes, patched well done.  Get back here, man.  Stitched time and stitched in time.  Then we go back to the ship.  Oh, we did not understand how Data knew what…which Data was supposed to do it.

 

Then we go back to the Enterprise and Manheim is with Beverly.  She actually lets him look at his medical records right in the lab.  She goes, you’re amazing.  You’re totally normal again, not like…I mean, for you, you’re normal.  Then Picard comes in, Jenice and Manheim reunite.  At 39:50, Picard has to stand in the background and watch.  He goes, back to normal.  She goes, is he okay?  Beverly goes, for him, maybe some residual ones will come and go.  He goes, I feel like I came out a long tunnel again.  He goes, it wasn’t like I thought it would be on the other side.  Totally different.  She goes, tell me about it.  He goes, I can’t put it into words.  I’m gonna have to paint it later.  He goes, so vibrant, not like anything I’ve ever been before.  I crossed over.  He goes, and there was a new kind of life over there.  Right as he’s about to tell her about it…I don’t know if this gets a callback ever.  Then he goes, how’s my studio, Picard?  Fog machine still working?  He goes oh yeah, still working.

 

She goes, are we going back?  Then he does this promise; he goes oh, we…too much.  He says I know…he goes, we owe it to everybody to go back.  I gotta get back on the other side again.  Those of us that have walked this road…’cause he goes, we’re going back.  She goes yeah, we’re gonna go back.  He goes, promise it’ll be different this time.  Picard goes yeah, sure it will be, and so does she.  He goes, maybe the Federation will want to help you, if you really…if this is a thing, really.  He goes, thanks.  Oh, this is when he says this time, it’s gonna be different, baby, you know.  This time, I’m gonna…I promise.  But she laughs.  She goes, this is the way it is, babe.  We’re in love.  You said my life would never be dull and it never has been.  Never was ordinary…the payoff at the other thing.  Then they kiss cheek-to-cheek.  Picard kind of stares, his eyes go down.  He kind of doesn’t have a frown.  Then Troi brings Jenice to the thing…continue the program.

 

She goes go ahead, enter when you’re ready.  Oh, 41:30 is when…Picard face.  She goes down to the holodeck.  She goes what?  How is this possible?  Maybe she’s never been on a holodeck before.  Paris; there’s a flower shop there, bong harper is still there…is there too.  Maître d’ says madam, captain is waiting for you.  Picard’s dressed; he sets the champagne on the table.  She goes, this is so real.  The guy says you know, whatever, enjoy things.  She goes, tell me how you did it…don’t tell me how you did it, Jean-Luc.  This is perfect.  It’s as if we really were there.  He grabs some champagne, pours two glasses of champagne.  He goes, I always wanted to say goodbye properly this time.  She kind of stares at him and he hands her a glass.  He says I shall always picture you here.  They clink glasses and they each take a sip.  He takes a gulp.  She goes, you’ll always come charging to my rescue.  He goes, I’ll do my best.  She sighs and she says goodbye, Jean-Luc.  Be well.

 

Then he goes and you, too.  Thank you for Paris, she says.  She puts her [01:00:00] drink down and walks off.  Then Picard holds his champagne glass in two hands; one around the glass part and one around the bottom.  Then she says well, so much for my dramatic exit ‘cause I gotta walk through this friggin’ door.  Let’s see, so, yeah…let’s see, 44:01…then we see the Enterprise again.  Then at 44:01, this is definitely worth it.  If you go to 4…oh, 43:48, so not 44:01.  He’s really good ‘cause Picard walks onto the deck of the ship…the bridge, and they’ve already been talking about him.  Everybody’s like, oh no.  You could see everybody’s stone-faced.  He goes, anything wrong?  They go no, no, no, nothing at all, sir.  They go, set course for Sarona VIII.  We gotta get our shore leave in.  He fixes his shirt, sits down.  Everybody’s sharing looks.  He goes yeah, get over there.  Warp five; engage.  Oh, I forgot, Picard also pointed her off when he said goodbye to her.

 

Then there’s this nice little button at the end.  I don’t know if that’s what you call it but after he says engage, Riker says what’s the name of that club there, man?  I love that club with the blue stuff.  Deanna says it’s across from Zanza Men’s Dance Palace.  Picard goes pfft, Blue Parrot Café.  Goes, we’re gonna hit it up and Deanna, you’re buying.  Then everyone’s happy at the end.  They say oh, we got our captain back.  They head off into space and that’s the end of the episode.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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