866 – Silver Sleeper Studios | Get Besos S3 E7

EPISODE 866 – Silver Sleeper Studios Get Besos S3 E7

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary; patrons, it’s me, Scoots dialing you in.  While I’m not blinded by the lights, I’m here to turn the lights down.  I always try to figure out a way to work that song in which at the time I’m recording this, it just came out a week or two ago, but this time I couldn’t do it.  What I’ll do is, I’ll just put you to sleep instead.  Thanks for the support, patrons.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts you’re thinking about, things on your mind.  It could be thoughts that, like I said, are on your mind, it could be repetitive thoughts, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally or physically.  It could be changes in time or temperature or travel.  I’m longing for my bed; holy moly.  I haven’t slept in my own bed…I’ve been traveling and helping someone and I have not…but I still, you know, I found a way to create my own routine on the road or when I’m not home.  Really, and I think that’s an important thing; a little tiny ritual, that’s all you need.

 

I’m here for you, to be a part of that for you, a part of your wind-down.  What was I saying?  Oh, whatever’s keeping you awake.  What I’m gonna do is, like I said, I got this safe place set up here, plenty of room.  I’ve talked about probably before; we’ve got cubbies, storage, lockers, multiple spaces for you to come in or bring to you.  I’m trying to really bring you that sense of a safe place where you can unwind.  I send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I use lulling, creaky, dulcet tones.  Not for everybody.  Usually creaky, dulcet tones tend to grow on you.  I don’t think creaky, dulcet tones are normally well-suited for multiple-choice answers where you’re only allowed to answer one.  I say well, what type of tones do you prefer?  Dulcet tones, lulling tones, quiet tones, silver toned.  That was the great jazz singer that we…likes to listen to the podcast for a long time, Chris.  He probably still listens.  I know Chris’ friends probably do, too.  But you wouldn’t say creaky, dulcet tones.

 

You’d say was that a misprint?  Creaky dulcets.  Like, creaky like a door?  I say yeah, creaky like a door or a frog…not quite a frog.  Like, here’s another thing that never comes up on the podcast except when it’s written into a story, is toads.  I guess tonight I’ll have to give toads their due.  On the positive side though…we’ll get back to you, toads.  But you know, ‘cause you say well, how come frogs get all the credit?  I say well, I don’t know what a toad…don’t worry though, I’ll get back to you.  Here’s the thing; I like toads, I’m pretty sure.  Are you a frog or a toad that’s in my brain right now?  You’re representing a toad, I realize that, but I just wanted to see if you were a frog or a toad so that I don’t make an assume…an assume out of both of us.  Okay, so if you’re new, oh boy, who knows what’s gonna come up next if I talk to a toad.  Did Dr. Doolittle ever talk to any…in any of the iterations of Dr. Doolittle, did a Dr. Doolittle ever talk to the toads?  ‘Cause they say well, I’m still an animal.

 

I’m a lizard, right?  Oh, whoops, amphib…are you an amphibian?  I’m not even sure.  You don’t have to put your head down; it’s okay if you’re not an amphibian.  I think those are the ones that breathe through their skin, so it would be handy, of course.  Okay, so, where was I?  Oh, so if you’re new, I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night…lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders.  You just got one there; superfluous tangents, that could have been a superfluous tangent.  More of a pointless meander, though.  I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m not gonna get anywhere.  Eventually we’ll get going but you might not even notice.  So, if you’re new, here’s a few things to note…that I want to put you at ease.  If you’re skeptical or doubtful, it totally makes sense.  If you’re feeling ambivalent or not sure, that’s a totally…I mean, that’s totally understandable.  Here’s what I’m gonna do, is I’m gonna…let me tell you about the structure of the show first ‘cause that’s one of the many things about this show that can throw people off.

 

Creaky, dulcet tones throw people off.  This isn’t meant to…I’m not self-deprecating myself; I’m just not everybody’s taste, so that’s another thing.  Never, barely ever, almost getting to the point.  That’s another thing but structurally this podcast is a little bit different.  Sometimes…if the podcast doesn’t work for you, if you think you want to try it a few times, the show starts off with business.  That’s really how we’re able to keep it free for everybody.  Then there’s an intro.  Now, the intro is…the show starts off ideally with two-to-four minutes of business.  I just give you these times ‘cause they’ve come up a few times recently.  Then the intro itself is like, somewhere between twelve and eighteen minutes of me just rambling.  Those are free rambles, not…I’m not trying to get you to do anything other than introduce the podcast to you.  Whatever, I don’t know where we are, between minutes four and twenty.

 

Oh boy, there we go; I didn’t even mean to pander to my 420 listeners but there you go.  It’s time, wherever you are.  Enjoy it if you got it.  Then around twenty minutes there’s some more business.  That’s the nature of the podcast, then there’ll be our episodically modular series Get Besos, so a bedtime story that you can listen to in any order.  Then there’s some thank yous at the end of the show.  That’s the structure of the show, but a little bit more about the intro ‘cause you might say wait a second, the intro to your podcast is somewhere, depending on how you define it, between fourteen to eighteen to twenty to thirteen to eleven to twelve to nineteen minutes or so.  Possibly seventeen or…yeah, it is, maybe half-eighteen or something.  I don’t know if that’s a number but yeah, it’s really part of the wind-down routine.  It’s a way to introduce the podcast to new listeners, give you an idea of what you’re in for, start to trigger that part of your brain that says oh, I might not even really need to pay attention to this show because he’s just kind of shuffling around.

 

I’d say you’re onto something there.  So, for new listeners, it’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to but the intro kind of, as you develop and your second, third, fourth, fifth time listening, you say well, I’d like to listen as I’m getting ready for bed.  Or some people say I like to listen as I’m in bed, or I like to listen after I say goodnight to my partner, and they roll over and start snoring, they go right to sleep instantly which that gives me a little distraction from the fact we have a different sleep style.  Or some people like to start it on a speaker and their pets hop in bed.  Then some listeners, I think only 2% or so, 2% to 4% it looks like, they start the show at twenty minutes.  They just listen at whatever starts at twenty minutes.  It might be the end of the intro, it might be some business, it might be the beginning of the series.  Then other people on Patreon, there’s a variety of listeners.  Some people listen all night.  I’ll be honest; the Patreon is probably better for that because there’s no interruptions or anything.

 

But some people listen all night, some people turn it on when they’re asleep but the intro gives you a chance to let the day drift away and to get comfortable, get cozy.  That’s the intro.  Yeah, like I said, it’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to.  The story you may or may not hear and you say okay, well, what’s the story about?  I say well, believe it or not, I take the first five to ten minutes to catch you up on everything that’s ever happened in three seasons of the series.  You’ll know or you’ll be asleep, so this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to but there’s also no pressure to fall asleep.  I’m gonna be here for about an hour.  Everything is complete; even though things are slow to develop, they slowly develop like a photograph.  Never thought of that as an analogy before, but you know, there’s instant [00:10:00] photographs and then there’s photograph, photograph; the film photographs.  Those are slow to develop and instant photographs you say well, that’s not instant.

 

Some people are like, can you flick it or whatever?  I guess my point with that is that this show’s slow to develop but eventually a picture does develop; it’s a lulling, soothing one.  If you can’t sleep, there are listeners out there with you.  My goal is to be here with you as you drift off or if you need the show episode after episode after episode tonight.  That’s the structure of the show.  Those are kind of the things around the show.  I make the show one; because I’ve been there or pretty often, I’m there.  Tossing, turning?  Got those down.  Mind racing?  Got that.  Trouble getting to sleep?  Oh, boy.  Trouble staying asleep?  Yup.  Sometimes, like I said, sleeping in new places, changes in a routine, all that stuff; sleeping in a room recently with…that had a lot of light and I didn’t have a sleep mask.  Also, that I didn’t have control over the temperature because I was a guest.  Those are all things that might be out of our control, right?  What’s in my control is to be here for you and even though I just pointed out it’s to kind of tell you a story and slowly take your mind off of it, because I truly believe you do deserve a good night’s sleep.

 

I’ve been there, like I said, and I think you deserve a place of respite and that your world and our world will be a better place if you’re in a rested position.  I mean, a rested position right now and then you’re rested and you say wow.  Here’s a question I don’t know the answer to; I just assume I know the answer.  Do flowers love to be smelled and appreciated?  ‘Cause everybody says stop and smell the flowers and a lot of us, we roll our eyes.  But I guess it would change it if you say what if…here’s another…let’s just take a phrase back.  Don’t worry, toads; eventually I’ll think of something about you, too.  But what if we stop and instead of stopping, change that phrase?  I don’t know if we could get everybody on board in the world.  Probably not.  Also, probably people point out that this isn’t true but you say stop and…instead of saying stop and smell the roses or the flowers, you say did you ever…maybe if you just say it as a question.

 

Did you ever wonder if flowers love being smelled and appreciated?  Then you pause.  So, this isn’t exactly efficient.  Then you pause and you say ‘cause I sure love smelling them, holy cow.  Even when they don’t smell, I love taking a second…probably would still roll our eyes at that person, you’re right.  You’re right, toad.  I knew you were in here for a reason.  Here’s another question; I don’t know if you are an amphibian or not and I don’t know if that’s…I don’t really pronounce a lot of words correctly.  Amphibian, I think is that.  But you say well, I got a mammalian brain, I got an Eddie Izzard brain; that rhymes with that.  Zard, sorry.  I wasn’t thinking of…the hand…I mean, I was thinking of the other handsome one.  But so, how come I don’t have…I would like an amphibian brain.  Or did I just call it…’cause you got, I don’t even know which one corresponds; you got the hypothalamus and that might be the brain stem or might not be.

 

You got the cortex; you got the cerebellum and the cerebrum.  I think there’s probably other things but that’s probably…you’re probably right, my…once upon a time, someone asked questions like this and the amphibian part of the brain walked out ‘cause it said I can breathe out of my skin.  What do you want from me?  I think that would be a…I guess I’m projecting but I’d say that’d be pretty good…I don’t know, you’re right.  I don’t know anything about breathing through my skin.  I fantasize…you say tell me your fantasies.  I say well, I’m breathing through my skin.  I say hello?  Are you there?  Okay.  Usually they just say you know what, I gotta go put money in the meter after I say something like that.  You say I thought you walked here.  Oh, okay, I can follow along, though.  It was the breathing through the skin.  Okay, bye.  Or was it the toad I brought with me?  ‘Cause here’s the thing; I used to hold a lot of toads.  I presume they were toads.  They would…I’m sure that it wasn’t…I was very gentle.

 

I was always gentle with the toads because of…there was lore about you that you would cause them…you could cause some skin outbreaks but that wasn’t…that was not true.  But also, every time I picked one of you up, you would do a number one almost every time.  Never really bothered me too much ‘cause it was just…once you get used to it.  I don’t know, sorry about that.  I guess I have to make amends to all toads everywhere.  Probably should do it…you’re right, probably should do it with a donation and not a public apology because I would have to apologize for my toad…ignorance of toads.  An Ignorance of Toads; that would be a book I would think about writing but would never sell.  An Ignorance of Toads and Other…I mean, it could be…maybe it could be a chapter.  What was my point?  You’re right about that, I was just showing the listeners…I don’t know, I mean, I think we were trying to take back a phrase and then I got distracted and started talking about toads.

 

‘Cause you corrected me and put me…you put me back on track.  You’re very…I don’t know if you…I don’t want to…again, I’m just making…but you are very…you have a stillness about you.  So, I mean, here’s the thing; maybe…even though…this is a bit of a reach but I’m trying to make something positive in sleep podcasts, taking the toad back from the…you know, the tired history of the toad.  Oh, I forgot to finish my apology to toads; thanks.  I was in the middle of making a point but I was wrong picking you up and probably making you go number one because you said what is this person doing picking me up?  I’m sorry.  You could tell me how it affected you.  I’m open to hearing about that and I’d like to understand it better.  I am a different person now.  I don’t pick up toads like that, but if there’s anything I can do to make it right, I’d like to do that.  See, I mean, I realize it’s easy for me to say ‘cause you’re not sentient but you seem to be in my brain.

 

What I was going to say though; you don’t…I’m not asking you to accept my apology, either.  You could…I’m open to hearing about it later, too.  But so, what I was saying before I interrupted myself by…before my proper apology…what would you give that apology?  I’d say it was seven out of ten, just in that it wasn’t written or anything.  Oh, you docked me four points because you’re not sentient.  Well, I mean, that’s fair.  That is fair.  It is very narcissistic of me to apologize to a non-sentient being.  You prefer…okay, so anyway, could you get back to this point of using you as a symbol?  Sorry about your…our discussions of your…I’ll apologize for that one day.  What I was thinking is you have a stillness.  I was trying to compliment you, believe it or not.  This toad is, holy moly.  So, you have a stillness about you.  When you think about the other two parts of your brain, they’re not necessarily associated…the mammal part has the heart and the breathing and stuff.

 

I think that’s what it is, and milk.  I think those are the mammal parts; not sure.  The Izzard parts are the dashing and running around or something.  Maybe you could be like a stillness; like, breathing through the skin, even if it’s a symbolic sense thing, defining my internal toad and being there.  I don’t know, that’s just an idea.  Anyway, this is a podcast that puts you to sleep.  Excuse me, toads; I’ll be back one day.  You say what was that donation to the Toadeban Society?  The Amphibibans?  Scooter’s founded the Amphibibans Society.  Turns out toads aren’t amphibians so then he had to create the Toadeban Society.  That was the end of the…so, this is a podcast that puts you to sleep.  I realize that it’s a lot different, if you’re new.

 

I’m just trying to…it does work for the people it works for, so give it a few tries.  Millions of people have said it took two or three tries and then I became a regular listener.  Kind of see how it goes because it’s free and you just give it a try and [00:20:00] see if it helps you because yeah, I really wanted to see if it would…I hope it does, I guess is my thing.  I’m glad you’re here.  I do really appreciate you coming by whether you’re new or you’re those one of those regular listeners that’s been with me since 2013.  Hey, what’s up?  They were here for season one of Get Besos.  So, wherever you are on the scale of listeners, yep, I’m glad you’re here.  I work very hard.  I yearn and I strive ‘cause I really want to help you fall asleep and here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep this podcast free for everybody.

 

Alright everybody, it’s time for another episode of our episodically modular series Get Besos, the tale of Richard Warren Sears and James Cash Penney’s escape from purgatory or limbo.  I don’t know if…something similar to the neutral Janet void, as a matter of fact, now that I’m thinking about it.  A place like that, whatever your belief system or your…you know, suspension of that.  You won’t believe it, actually.  They were in purgatory and yeah, you’ll believe it, you know what I’m saying?  You’re in the right place.  I’m here to put you to sleep, you know?  So, James Cash Penney and Richard Warren Sears, two titans of retail industry, escaped purgatory and returned to Earth in search of teaching some lessons to a fictional figure named Jiff Besos, founder of imzon.com who they felt crushed their retail empires, so that’s why they came to Earth.  Over two seasons of friendship, mostly friendship and some adventure, they became friends, all three of them.

 

Oh, you heard a lot about it in the last episode while they were having a little breaky-poo.  But yeah, so they had some adventures and then they found themselves back in purgatory.  Well, this was before this season even started.  Richard Warren Sears, James Cash Penney, and Jiff Besos.  Jiff snuck out to return to Hearth, the backup, redundant version of Earth.  Earth’s got a backup; that’s great news.  I mean, not for us, but for whoever’s supervising Earth or whatever greater purpose Earth is to serve.  Always good to have a backup.  So, Hearth, which we’ll call Earth from now on just because otherwise I’ll forget.  Jiff snuck off to Earth…a silent H.  From moving forward, it has a silent H…to get Z-Biff, founder of the…what is that called?  There’s a simple word for it when it’s your name…synonymous platform Z-Biff.  I don’t think that’s that, but shopping and social sharing platform where…so, Z-Biff…oh, so Jiff said I gotta go teach Z-Biff a lesson ‘cause Z-Biff had to dominate social media, social shopping and sharing platform, and of course, really just advertising, you know.

 

Jiff snuck off ‘cause he felt like he didn’t like what Z-Biff was doing.  Luckily, he left a long to-do list so James Cash Penney and Richard Warren Sears then once again escaped purgatory, this time to return to Hearth…Earth to get Besos, just to make sure he doesn’t get himself in any trouble.  That’s the season we’re in.  James Cash Penney, Richard Warren Sears searching Earth, going through Jiff’s to-do list of communities impacted by his social media and shopping platform.  Communities in the broadest sense of the word, or groups or people impacted by it and trying to…procedurally, how well does this work out?  Each episode they spend procedurally in an episodic sense, because they could listen to them in any order, trying to figure out what Jiff…trying to catch up with Jiff, fix these things in hope of crossing paths with Jiff or Z-Biff.  It’s time for tonight’s episode of Get Besos.  Here’s…just back when we’re recording this, from big night at the Oscars, because when I see you on the screen, it’s a big night for me.

 

Friend of the show, friend of the world, heartthrob, I mean, have I called you a heartthrob before?  Because holy cow.  A kind man, a man with a smile that actually relaxes me.  I guess…but also makes me aware of your heartthrobdom, the man who drives all the way from Los Angeles, traffic or no…well, there’s always traffic, he says; sometimes multiple traffics.  Waits to use the restroom or stops at…there’s not that great a place to stop either on the way to my place from the highway, the freeway, to use the restroom before he gets here.  Mister Antonio Banderas.  Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, it’s time to get Besos.  Yeah.  Thank you, thanks Scooter, for the kind…thank you everyone out there for your support, the support of international film, obviously.  Don’t miss out on it, that’s all I have to say.  Goodnight.  Yeah, you can check out Antonio’s film which I can’t say the first word, but it’s Glory.  Something and Glory.  Oh, boy.  Here’s the thing; just go to whatever your streaming service is or whatever you watch stuff on, search for Banderas or Banderas, if I’m…you know, and then kick back and enjoy it.  Or go to your local, independent cinema and say hey, let’s get a…when’s the Antonio Banderas film festival?  Thanks, and this is Get Besos. 

 

Okay, buddy, buddy, buddy.  That was a good rest and I think we’re ready to kind of resume things, James.  So, but I don’t know.  I guess I’m just not feeling…once again, I’m not feeling motivated.  Maybe it’s just we rested too much.  But Richie, it was a good rest.  I think…I don’t think that’s it.  I think it’s kind of coming up but we’re still struggling.  We’ve never…in some sense, when you were in charge, I mean, you’ve been right about this all along and we had a simple mission; just go get Jiff, it didn’t really go well and we didn’t help anybody but it was simpler because we were able to…we had a common purpose and we were able to factor everything through…well, I guess my role was a little different.  Your role was can I get…well, it’s always complicated but I guess that’s what I was saying.  Well, you’re right; when I was leading in and I said just…everything we’re going to do is going to be get Jiff.  Even as you were about to say, James, when it looked like I was stroking my ego or going for my own glory, it was really in service of our mission to get Jiff out of trouble, of course.

 

But you were talking about something else and then I guess I hijacked the conversation.  I’m gonna be honest because I guess what I was going to say, before I got distracted and a little disheartened, is because you know, I’m familiar with the golden rule, James.  I mean, how many times are you gonna have to explain it to me?  The golden rule is…also ‘the people who have the gold makes the rules,’ is the other side of the golden rule.  Right Richie, but I’m just trying to point out what is our…should we really try and…they call it a pedagogy, you know.  I don’t know what you mean, James.  Pedagogy; what are we trying…I feel like we’re trying to teach too much.  James, I don’t think you’re using those words correctly.  Well, you’re probably right about that, Richie, but okay, listen; what you’re kind of saying is we have the ‘do as I say, not as I do’…let’s just go over what our issue…what we’re coming up against.  That’s number one.

 

Can you rephrase that and tell it back to me James, in words of your own understanding?  Okay, yeah, we are facing, you’re right, the social media shopping and sharing platform seems to really spark that in people, or make it easier to say…don’t do that.  I’m talking about your behavior right now.  Yeah, and we’re not even thinking about my behavior.  I’m just talking about your behavior.  [00:30:00] What did I do?  No, no, no, I mean, that’s what I was rephrasing.  Oh, so now…making you rephrase things so I understand it is wrong?  No, what I was saying is…James, I’m kidding.  Every once in a while, I’m kidding.  That was actually pretty good.  Try to relax; we’re here to work together, against each other, so we can work together.  Another thing, James, is being…this happens to me all the time probably because I know better, but I know I spend a lot of time worried about what you’re doing or what Jiff is doing or what Z-Biff is doing.  Is that like, a part of being human, James?  Or, I guess, post-human, too?

 

Yeah, I think so.  That’s one thing, is yeah, is it more prevalent here?  Or are we more aware of it?  Again, is this…it’s probably Z-Biff’s thing.  Then there’s…Richie, I don’t know if you noticed this; there’s super offenders, I guess, who, I mean, we’ve already dealt with a lot of them.  They walk their dogs, they don’t care, but they point at…they’re pointers.  They’re oblivious or they don’t care but they also get really…they’re the first to catch somebody else.  Yeah, I mean, here’s the other thing, James, and I guess because I…those are all things.  What about, also, you’d say, I don’t know, common sense…maybe there was never a thing as common sense.  I know that…listen, I’m learning on this.  You might not believe it and that somehow, I’m a little bit of an archetype of these behaviors.  I know you’re speechless, James.  Let’s just move on.  One thing I worry about is being the F-O-O-L so let’s say I follow all these rules and do it all the time but then other people get away with it.

 

I don’t want to be the one…do you know what I’m saying, James?  Yeah, I guess you could…yeah, I guess yeah, I do know what you’re saying.  It’s a human thing.  The other thing is how much does any of this matter?  Are we the ones caught up in it, Richie, is what I’m wondering?  Is it even more narcissistic for me?  Not for you; you seem to be learning.  Thank you for noticing what I’m doing and the changes I’m making about myself.  Thanks for noticing that ‘cause you’re really working hard.  So, is it narcissistic for us to be here in a world that’s not ours?  You know, worried about what other people are worried about.  Does any of it matter or does our opinion even matter?  Then there’s the idea that if something can’t…something’s spoiled that you can’t dilute it anyway, I think you said something like that.  I may have, James.  You probably did hear me say something enlightened like that.  Alright, so, James; let’s reassess where we’re at here.

 

So, we’re still kind of stuck but we have to keep going through this list.  It’s still in the back of my mind; what are we doing here?  Okay Richie, yeah, so, we’re still stuck but we’re still kind of doing…what worked before our break was that we took opposite sides of things.  I kind of feel like that worked pretty well even though I do have the sense that we’re already here, because we’re already here at this studio, Silver Sleeper Studios.  James, Jiff notes that this is probably owned likely, he says, owned by Z-Biff.  But I feel like we’ve been here…I don’t know.  James, this also reminds me of a scene in La La Land.  Not one of the big scenes; maybe where they drive by the club that he wants to own one day, or something else.  I don’t know.  Okay, so not the part where they’re on the movie studio set.  Oh, good, I’m glad you saw that movie.  Well, you made me watch it before we left.  Oh, that’s right.  I mean, yeah.  Okay, so we should go in and just have them…and Jiff’s kind of sketched out the problem.

 

Pylon, it says.  Oh, hello, hello, yes, we’re here.  We’re consultants here to meet with you.  Yeah, J-Jiffy.  Sure, we’re here with J…yeah, we’re…no, we’re just here to help.  We know this studio has a situation.  Oh, great, you’ve been expecting us.  No, I’m Richie.  RW you could call me, and this is my friend James.  Okay, why don’t you walk us through?  How is everybody doing here?  This is the team, eh?  So, we heard about these pylons and…okay, explain it to James and then he’s good at…he’s my rephraser.  That’s how we make sure…I don’t know if you’ve ever gotten any seminars on active listening or the most active listeners.  No, so we’re not interrupting you or cutting you off.  We’re explaining things back to you ‘cause I don’t like the splainers.  We’re here but sometimes we unintentionally do that when we're trying to re-explain what you just said back to you to establish that we heard it; also, to help us in the listening process.

 

This is the J-Jiffy method so if it gets on your nerves, remember this is the J-Jiffy method of listening.  The School of Listening.  Okay James, take it.  Sorry Richie, I was talking over you there but I think I picked up on what you’re saying.  So, you’re one of the big studios and we realize what you were saying about the history of the movie studios and how your business has become more and more dependent on blockbusters and that it’s clear that it’s not easy for any of you.  That’s a very high pressure that your movies have to be very, very successful and that you can’t…if you make a miss, especially with some of these intellectual properties you’re talking about, that they…wow, Richie, I’m sorry, I’m just having déjà vu or something.  Oh, that’s one of your movies you’re working on; that sounds interesting.  Oh, that’s a heroine, heroine, sorry.  Okay, so if you have too many misses, it’s a very pressure-filled business.

 

You have a general idea if something’s going to be a hit or not but you don’t really know, but you accept that not everything can be a hit.  But then Z-Biff and the…they…so, okay, so that’s one part of it.  Okay, so I understand that part.  Okay, you talk very fast.  This is good that I’m gonna rephrase…okay, yeah.  You’re really able to convey information in an effective and efficient way.  If I say micromachines, does that mean anything to you?  Maybe gives you déjà vu.  Huh.  Okay, so the other thing is with the platform, the Z-Biff platform, the social media shopping and sharing, that’s the main source of advertising and word-of-mouth which are kind of interlinked at this point and that lead up to the release.  It can be very impacted and opening weekend…you really need to have a good second weekend.  You need to have an amazing opening weekend but the second weekend is very important because that’s…okay, okay.  That’s very dependent on the word-of-mouth of the people that saw the movie.

 

Oh, but also within the algorithms.  Okay, so you’ve noticed something new that’s slowly been developing.  So, that’s…okay, so can I explain that back to you?  I think I understand.  A lot of times, a movie like Déjà Vu might come out and everybody, or a large portion of people, are very excited to see Déjà Vu, see whether the movie’s gonna tell her origin story or just have her already as a super heroine.  That’s okay, and then…so, some people are excited, some people are torn, some people just can’t get over themselves.  Okay, so you have all these competing interests about interests for the film Déjà Vu.  Then you have the film, a very quality…you’re saying…you think it’s a very well-done picture.  Still a couple tweaks in editing but nothing major.  Everybody’s feeling very good about it.  [00:40:00] Okay, but in other…okay, so there’s been other instances of this…okay, so where people say…oh, so if people look for people to swing some…not the majority or the plurality but some percentage of opinion.

 

Okay, so they would say aren’t you just so over superhero movies?  But they would say that they’re not saying that as an opinion ‘cause it’s not really backed by anything.  But they’re hoping that more and more people would do that and…like a snowball, they’re hoping to create a snowball by saying that.  Okay, yeah.  They say don’t you think super heroines have gotten too super?  Or who else thinks…?  Okay, okay, sometimes they might cloak it like a positive and negative.  Like, you know, movies like Déjà Vu are great but I really miss this.  Or don’t you…okay, so I understand what you’re saying.  They’re looking to create a snowball of people who share their opinion or support their opinion but it was more…opinion might be the wrong word.  You’re right; we might not have a word for this.  Okay, alright, well Richie, we’re listening here and we got the whole team here from Silver Sleeper Studios.  Richie, what do you think?  I’d like to see Déjà Vu, actually.

 

Oh wait, this is a different…have you ever had a movie that was a modern-day musical with dancing?  James, I don’t think it was called La La Land.  Oh, that gives you déjà vu.  But there is music in Déjà Vu.  Déjà Vu.  Sorry about that.  No, I was just asking.  I think, James, this reminds me of that famous story we once heard…opposing sides story.  Once upon a time, oh boy, did I…it feels like it was just like yesterday.  I don’t know, someone told me this story.  It was a film maker, actually.  They were so well-liked at the studios.  Now, this was the era of the really big studios with vertical and horizontal integrations so they didn’t have to…some of your concerns weren’t their concerns ‘cause they said well, this is the only movie you’re gonna see this weekend.  It’ll be in the theatre.  But that’s not possible here in your world.  Recurrent…so, this is a piece of fiction.  But all the movies were big-budget and then all…everybody had to go changing everything around.

 

The movies, they were so good; giant sets, the vertical and horizontal…that made it so they could create whole worlds and film it, practical effects, everything.  Big stakes, but everybody, even then, was worried when things started to change.  They said well, this is gonna change how we make the films.  We’ll have to avoid mistakes ‘cause we can’t…if they could only go…pick…if they could pick more than…they just started to get…James, go ahead James.  Oh, James wants to tell the next part of the story.  Yeah, so things started to change in the movie business.  They called it La La Land.  The people outside of there, because everybody was so caught up in the business, and when things changed, they said well, what if we…what if our movies don’t have the success to pay for all the practical effects and the staffing and all that?  What are we going to do?  Years went by and it was a feast-or-famine type thing.  No one…someone said well, why don’t you make movies across budgets?

 

They tried that for a time and it kind of worked.  It worked really well actually, but then there was a reconsolidation ‘cause they said well, you can make movies for $330…$300, $3,000,000, $30,000,000 or $300,000,000.  Not just those numbers but then they went back to these things…they call them…in La La Land they call them tent poles.  Oh boy, did they.  This sounds exactly like the situation you’re in.  No, no, not…James, that’s like you’re in town.  So, that was the situation they had and they needed someone to help fix it.  Oh boy, did they.  That’s where that character, this film maker, stepped in.  Now, he was…his name was Jiff.  Oh boy, and he was not good at making movies.  He made some of the worst movies you could ever possibly make.  Some people would say they weren’t even films, that they didn’t even make any sense.  They were…go James, go ahead.  I know you want to go now.  But while he didn’t know movies that well, he did know about budgets and marketing and work-arounds.

 

He worked with studios because he was able to always make his movies at least break even, no matter how…he always put his movies on budget and he always worked creatively within his budget to execute his vision even though it was artistic and a little bit different, and some would say awful.  Okay, well, I don’t know about that, James.  Artistic is ridiculous.  So, Jiff also…Jiff…yeah, he broke even, right?  One day, a very visionary executive from another company happened to be…his name was Randy Warren and he worked outside of the movie business.  He had seen a couple of these movies by Jiff and they were not good.  But he told the tale; he happened to be with all these executives of the big studios in a room like these ones and he told them about some simple retail concepts that these studios actually weren’t familiar with.  They needed someone to come set them straight, a retail titan at the time; the greatest retailer in the history of the planet in this story, but really anywhere.

 

He told them about loss leaders and they still didn’t get it.  They said well, why would you sell something like…that nobody wants?  I’d say, to get them in the store, that’s why.  They say well, they wouldn’t be satisfied.  He said I guess you don’t get that.  He said well; then he explained to them about advertise…they said we know about marketing movies, not about marketing toilet brushes.  So, they had some…they had a couple debates back and forth.  It wasn’t always pleasant.  Hearing the truth is not ever easy.  But eventually he got ‘em to realize that…James?  Well eventually, he got them to realize that some of these retailers would open up a store and the store wouldn’t even make a profit.  They could…similar to…they took…this one retailer took the idea of a loss leader to a whole other level.  This was a sad time in the history of this story we’re telling but…where it was like oh, you could just run a whole store that would lose money but it would try to lose as little money as possible in order to be more…to mess with your competitors.  Not very fair.

 

Then they said well, you could use something different than this model.  I think what Richie was about to talk about for the films…that’s why he was talking about Jiff.  Right, Richie?  Oh yeah, so then he said yes, I…give me a second with my brilliance as I sat quietly.  He realized that the studios would need to hire Jiff and that they could hire [00:50:00] Jiff or someone like Jiff to make their failures for them, and that the failures could be almost great but that someone like Jiff’s hands, he could make a budget.  He could stretch the budget to make the movie feel like a blockbuster.  But because he was involved in it, it wouldn’t be good; just a natural…his natural taste was not good.  So, the movie was almost guaranteed to fail spectacularly from a public perspective.  But from the studio perspective, the movie wouldn’t financially fail.  It would help them leverage people’s need to say…to point at that and say oh boy.  It would give confidence back to the people behind the productions and they could also still use it within their existing intellectual property.

 

They’d say well, we really want Déjà Vu to do well but Captain Caramel, we say is like Snotta…or whatever, Snotta…that was Captain Caramel versus Snotta was a movie.  That was one of the first ones that Jiff put out, right James?  Oh, thanks Richie.  Yeah, that was Jiff’s first movie; Captain Caramel.  It was just called Captain Caramel but then when they released it, to actually seem like they were in trouble, right before release they changed the name to versus Snotta.  That was that…it was…people even said well, why would you put Snotta in the name of a film?  So, it gave something…now, this was still early on so the studios hadn’t even really realized what the problem was.  They didn’t have the brilliant data statisticians or whatever you have working here.  That movie was more of…the critics gave them something…they actually at the time said oh, the critics are a problem.  That’s why we’re making failures.

 

So, the critics, for the most part though, there was a small percentage because of Jiff’s underlying tenacity that enjoyed the film.  They said this is a very different movie, a very different take on the superhero genre.  Not an anti-hero with Captain Caramel but not exactly a hero we could root for or against, but kind of someone that might live down the street.  Snotta was a relatable anti…it was something like that.  But the studios already knew when they had that failure and it only lost almost no money with their creative accounting.  When they looked at the bottom line, they said wait a second.  They also realized that this would be a competitive advantage because it could impact other films.  It became a very thing and J-Jiffy became in-demand instantly.  But then they realized that it was more the RW, the character’s real vision, and not J-Jiffy…Jiff, because he made movies like Rubber Man and Queen of the Lords, Deep Water Blues.  Those were some great films, weren’t they?

 

James, why don’t you tell us a little bit about those films and how J-Jiffy’s technique changed over time?  Well, you’re right, he started to take these temple movies and also with Queen of the Lords and Deep Water Blues, change names and create pseudonyms and alter-personalities so that it kept the momentum and nobody caught on that it was one person behind these perceived colossal failures.  But yeah, Rubber Man was just…that was one where J-Jiffy tried to make something that wouldn’t make a negative splash.  That was the second movie made with the same big studio, with Captain Caramel.  Rubber Man was a more…somewhat forward character.  That movie was just neutrally received but perceived then as a failure in a different way.  So, Jiff found new ways to fail.  Eventually, Jiff started failing at failing, with Queen of the Lords in particular because that was Jiff’s first fantasy film perceived to be a giant budget based on a famous octet, a set of eight books.  The first book, Queen of the Lords, the most beloved of all of the eight books of course, except for Princess in the Half-Shell.  It was the final book.

 

So, Queen of the Lords was where Jiff failed at failing, right James?  Well, kind of, because Jiff made Queen of the Lords a critical hit.  It actually opened up a new arena into examining why they were doing this.  It was a critical hit but it wasn’t well-received by the audience and it was panned.  The word-of-mouth on Queen of the Lords was not good.  It was considered to be…it wasn’t even good at being not good.  You’re right Richie, he failed at that.  But when the studio started to process things, they said wait a second, this lost…they said wait, maybe the critics aren’t exactly guiding the bottom line.  Is this movie…right?  They learned something.  Well yeah, once again, they learned they couldn’t rely…that it necessarily wasn’t just J-Jiff’s vision.  But yeah, Queen of the Lords, they said okay, well it’s not the critics here that are…it’s the word of the mouth we need you to focus on, J-Jiffy.  Jiff, you’re not doing it right.  They put the pressure on them for Deep Water Blues.

 

Yeah, and that was a very different movie.  That was one that was actually a pretty good movie that was marketed in the wrong way.  Again, J-Jiffy’s vision which caused the expectations to be off, which caused the audience to not be happy, but they were happy with the movie but they weren’t happy with the marketing.  So, they weren’t happy when they went to the movie.  But at a later date, people were kind of happy.  It was a good movie, basically, marketed in a totally wrong way.  It was critically received as okay and the word-of-mouth was strangely controlled because people said well, I thought this was gonna be a movie about two submariners, a submarine rom-com, but it was really a movie about…it was a giant movie with a giant being.  That was totally unexpected, totally marketed the wrong way.  That’s where…right?  That was where they said wait a second; there’s something going on here with this word-of-mouth and the piling on.  Yeah, they can’t found…but that’s when they found out that Jiff Besos, a fictional character, obviously; this is a fictional story, nothing like J-Jiffy.

 

We just get mixed up sometimes…became synonymous with failure, for failing at failure.  It actually became a noun in this story we’re telling.  People would say I Jiffed it.  Right, that J-Jiffing outgrew…that was where it became that they Jiffed it.  The marketing team actually got blamed even though it was Jiff’s vision.  That’s where it outgrew Jiff and studios just started doing it on their own, testing but making sure they could cover the bottom line with these movies made to not work out.  [01:00:00] They figured out a way to keep it from…to protect the integrity of the performers that were in the movies and make it fair on everybody.  So, that was a…then they realized that they still had one problem on their hands which is the problem we’re here today to talk about, because what people still say about Deep Water Blues is…the most famous quote that changed everything in this world that we’re talking about and that I want you to take away from here is that someone once said did you ever notice Deep Water Blues is a really good movie?

 

But I’ll never like it because they promised me a rom-com and that would be printed on shirts everywhere because you can’t…and that world became a sign of this pylon movement that you’re talking about.  It was actually printed on t-shirts everywhere in studios, at holiday parties, and everything where they said don’t forget that that’s why we make the movies to fail, is so that…so they say we always remember that mindset of it’s unpredictable, it’s volatile, but it…oh, you’re all looking at us blankly ‘cause Richie’s about to take over.  In that world, that’s how they dealt with your problem, basically, which doesn’t really…but also, that’s just a work of fiction, a long one, because they…a lot of those films did develop their audiences over time.  Someone named…someone else named…someone named Craft…Super Craft said what if you listened to these?  Is there any truth in these pylons?  Then they started making movies based on…they hired everybody from these pylons to make movies, or write them. 

 

That turned out to be…those turned out to be failures that even…they were worse than Jiff’s movies.  They were too convoluted and so that didn’t work either, James, but that was an idea that they did try.  Right, but that Craftsmaster or whatever wouldn’t give up.  They said that there’s gotta be something to this.  So, they thought if they were working in this world today, that’s where they’d look at; not for information…not for certainty because it’s causing uncertainty, and not to avoid it or say oh, maybe you do know what you’re talking about when you say Déjà Vu is the movie I wish I could forget, or whatever.  Who agrees whatever you’re worried about them saying?  They did have to find a way to empower these pyloners, these snowball-seekers.  So, they started some programs, at least in this story we’re telling.  Like, some official and some unofficial ‘cause they realized that they had to get more information.  Maybe it was algorithmic even, because these studios were also sitting on years and years and years, decade and decades and decades of film.

 

They were looking on the…they were looking in the wrong place and so they had to…yeah, they had to…thanks, James.  They had to redirect…James, thinking about empowering these pyloners is making me squinch on the inside.  But they had to…they had to put them to work somewhere so they would be investing their energy someplace else.  So, they tried to get them to pylon movies and give them useful information about their trove of films and intellectual property to find the hidden gold in their back catalogues and say well, maybe we should bring that movie back or maybe there is an audience for that film.  The archives that they already controlled and owned could be another source of either perceived failures or of interest.  They say oh, the reason they don’t like these current movies is ‘cause it’s not like these ones.  Well, hold on, James, they’re talking.  Oh, so you’re gonna reach out…Z-Biff would love the idea of monetizing these pylons.

 

Yeah, I don’t know how comfortable I feel with that, either.  But it sounds like that might help all of you or you might try to do those…well, I don’t know who has the rights to Deep Water Blues.  Now, who has the rights to the story we just told?  We do, actually.  Oh, will we meet with Z-Biff?  Well, you know, do you have nap pods?  Oh, you do.  I think we’d like to take a rest and think about it ‘cause we actually have other work to do, so maybe you could give Z-Biff our number or something.  But I’m glad we could help you.  Yeah, I’m glad.  James, I don’t know, I need a nap, too.  I don’t know if we actually did any good here.  Well, we helped them solve their problem, I think.  I don’t know, James, I’m squint…I got a…yeah, I want to curl up and wind down, get in this nap pod…oh boy, is it comfy in here, and cozy.  Goodnight, James.  Goodnight, Richie.  I’m getting…just sinking in here and getting comfortable, yeah.  Goodnight.

 

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