864 – Patty | The Good Place to Sleep S4 E12

EPISODE 864 – Patty – The Good Place to Sleep S4 E12

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, I hope I’m gonna create a good place for you to sleep tonight and rest.  You as patrons create a good environment for me to be able to do that. You really empower me to do so, so I appreciate that. What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind-racing, trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna try to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, anything on your mind coming up, going through your mind; thoughts, feelings, you know, thoughts I said.  I mentioned thoughts a few times. Repetitive thoughts, feelings; that could be emotions that are bubbling up related to the thoughts or unrelated. They’re just there percolating, a word that just doesn’t get used enough by me. Then it gets overused.  That’s why I say you gotta take a break, let things…I love saying…let me let things percolate. Any emotions doing…emotions on percolation. ‘Cause you could be a scientist.

 

Can you imagine…you say the difference between someone who’s…we’ll come back to this.  I was gonna say yeah, no, let’s talk about it right now. Let’s take a little meander. What if you were like…I’ve never heard of this, to be honest.  Then, once upon a time, there was a method of making coffee which you probably still do, called percolation. I’ll be honest, I have no idea…involved bubbles and stuff.  I think it was popular in the 80s or the 70s. I don’t know if I’ve ever had percolated coffee but I do remember some people…going to people’s houses that had it ‘cause it was in…kind of like an electric kettle that you see today but you integrated the coffee in there.  It had a clear thing in the top where you could see the coffee bubbling up. I don’t know if that meant it was done or not. Also, as to answer other people’s questions, I’m not sure if you can make tea in a coffee percolator but…what was I…I already forgot part of my…well, I was gonna one…oh no; so what if there was…’cause nowadays we have a lot of different ways of making and consuming coffee and each genre or niche of coffee brewing, as well as many other stages in the coffee consumption and production process, have their own fans.

 

I’m sure, or I guess I’m assuming…don’t mean to make an ass out of you and me, percolators, that there may be a smaller group of coffee fans that are into percolation still.  They said oh boy…or maybe percolation was a disaster. That’s why we don’t have it anymore. But they would say oh boy, oh boy, I only drink that sweet, sweet percolated coffee which is extra-bitter and not sweet at all, but sweet to me.  You say interesting. Oh boy, I like my coffee extra-gritty. I say I don’t know if that’s what…I’m not throwing shade at percolated coffee, not shade grown, either. I’m sure percolated coffee people…there may be percolated coffee fans out there, right?  There may be other people that are like that’s how I drank my coffee my whole life. I’m not gonna change. Those are maybe called permanent percolators which…just because I love alliteration. Then there could be scientists because I think that’s also some sort of scientific method or something, you know.

 

We gotta go…before we do the osmosis, we gotta do the percolation.  Then, there’s people like me that don’t actually know how percolation works, but I constantly use it to talk about…thinking about.  I say well, I gotta…let it percolate for a while which I assume means to sink and then bubble back up. That’s what it means to me. You know, a bit like…what do they call that Earth before it was started?  I always forget that term. When the earth was bubbling and there was no land, before the land. I always think of miasma but that’s not the word. They say the…not the vestigial Earth either, but that was back when we had vestigial stuff.  Oh, but I was gonna say those people have much different relationships to the word percolation than I do. I just use it to go off-topic ‘cause whatever’s keeping you awake is what I was talking about when I went off-topic there. I'm here to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake; thoughts, feeling, or physical sensations.

 

The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna create a safe place.  I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, a bit like that percolated coffee.  You say mm, boy, I could taste the creaky dulcet in here. Maybe, depending on what percolated coffee actually tastes like. The Percolator, a newsletter for coffee percolation fans or fans…or that could be our podcast.  Percolator Podcast doesn’t sound good. Percolation…but I like The Percolator. That could be…hey, this is The Percolator coming at you live at Percolate 102 on your FM dial. We don’t just play classic rock; we play ancient rock and rock that technically would be classic rock but people, they don’t want to…yeah.  Percolator 102. So, send my voice across the…lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders. Here’s the thing if you’re new; I already done a few. Superfluous tangents; I’m gonna go off-topic so if you’re new, here’s a few things to know ‘cause you got a little bit of a demonstration there.

 

I’m not…I don’t directly ever get to anything.  This is a podcast that’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  You don’t necessarily really need to fully listen to it. You could kind of barely listen, you could listen in a fuzzy way or out-of-focus way but if you’re new, just see how it goes.  I would understand if you’re new and you’re skeptical or doubtful or whatever that is, where you’re like I’m not so sure about this. That makes total sense. Then you might say what the heck is a per…you say I don’t know what this person is talking about.  What does this have to do with a sleep podcast, percolated coffee? I’d say yeah, just kind of loosely go with it. This is a podcast you don’t need to listen to. The other thing is it’s a sleep podcast that’s not necessarily here to put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company as you drift off, so see how it goes.  It’s a bit of a conundrum, I guess. I’m here to keep you company.

 

That’s why the episodes are about an hour, to give you plenty of time to fall asleep.  If you can’t sleep as some listeners can’t, I’m here to keep you company to the very end.  That’s why I make the show. I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place of respite and if I could provide it, it would be my honor and it would make the world a better place.  It’s just that simple. It’s my dream because I’ve been there and I know how it feels. Those are two things if you’re new. Let those percolate, right? It’s almost like…that would be one thing they don’t say…’cause I don’t even know about a percolator.  You know, there’s a truism. They say a watched pot never boils but you’d say an electric kettle goes really fast. Even in the past twenty, thirty, forty years, they’ve gone pretty fast. I would say a percolator…the percolator in my mind is an electric kettle-like thing.  If you watch that, I don’t even know what it’s doing. You’d say a watched percolator…I don’t even know what it’s doing.

 

It’s kind of bubbling.  It’s doing something. Sometimes it’s not.  Perplexed by the percolator. That would be a segment, I guess, on the percolator.  I guess that’s more of a newsletter, though; The Percolator. I don’t know what I was talking about.  Oh, I’m here to keep you company and put you to sleep. Yeah, I don’t know but structurally, this is other stuff that could throw off a new listener.  If you’re thrown off, totally understandable. The structure of the show, and I do explain this a lot, but I realize this is twelve minutes into the show so it’s not gonna do everybody good, especially people that are already sending me an e-mail.  The show starts off with about two to four minutes of business, normally. Sometimes it might be a little bit longer but that’s my goal. Then there’s an intro. The intro is about twelve to twenty minutes of me just rambling. Tonight happens to be about the word I keep using and I can’t stop using it now, but I’ll try a little experiment to not use it right this second.

 

So, that’s the intro.  The reason the intro…[00:10:00] the intro is what can throw people off the most.  It’s not a…it’s kind of an essential part of the show for the majority of listeners because it’s a wind-down moment, like twelve to eighteen minutes before the story starts, or tonight, before we talk about The Good Place where you could be getting ready for bed, you could be foam-rolling, you could be stretching, you could be brushing your teeth, you could be moisturizing, you could be petting pets, you could be resting, doodling, knitting, sitting, chilling, looking out the window.  Maybe you’re…whatever. You could be doing any of those things or you could be already in bed getting ready to wind down, getting comfortable, getting cozy. When your bed goes from that unbelievable…I mean, if you keep the room as cool as I do which most people don’t…how cold is my room? Ice cold. When I first get in bed, I say this bed’s never gonna get warm.

 

Eventually it does but that takes a little while and then as I’m getting cozy, that’s part of my wind-down routine.  The intro is kind of that long to ease you into bedtime. I don’t know, to ease your thoughts into the world of the podcast, the world of nonsense, probably of non-sequiturs, to de-percolate.  I’d guess you’d say well, yeah, what are you doing? Well, I gotta wrap up my day here at the great liquid lab. I’d say what do you have to do to finish up your day? Well, thanks for coming on this tour, kids.  Oh, you’re the only one that was interested in the…you were the only one that took this tour out of your whole high school. Oh, everyone else went to the taffy factory. Hm, well yeah, first I got to reduce and reverse-osmosis and then some de-percolation and then I’m gonna call it a day.  Oh boy. That’s how I’m wrapping things up. The intro’s kind of a de-percolation, if that’s even a thing. I don’t know if it is. I don’t think…once you’ve percolated water into coffee grounds…I don’t know, is there a study?

 

Could you de-percolate or reverse-osmosis it all out of there?  Or is that when you put something red in with your whites? You say well, you could, but it’s pretty unlikely.  Still gonna have a pink hue to it. I don’t know, these are the questions we ask during the intro as you wind down.  For new listeners, it’s kind of a chance for you to get an understanding of the nonsense we’re up to here and what to expect which is me going off-topic and getting a little mixed up and only kind of half…half-interesting things.  You say this in the hands of Roman Mars would be probably interesting, or he would have said no, let’s not talk about this. Then he would have worked with his…they said well, let’s talk about this and this. But in my hands, you say huh, I think I saw one of those things before.  I kind of barely know what you’re talk…I can almost not barely relate. Not that you’re unrelatable; it’s that I’m not sure if I need to relate to what you’re saying or not. Whatever the neutral version of relatable and unrelatable is.

 

I say yeah, you’re right, barely entertaining and barely…yeah.  I don’t know, there’s not a word for it yet but that’s what the intro is.  It’s twelve to twenty minutes. Sometimes, for some new people, I say what is this intro?  When are you gonna get to The Good Place content? I’d say give the show a few tries. After a while you might still find that you do prefer to start the show at twenty minutes.  2% to 4% of people do. I just heard from a couple new patrons that said jeez, I signed up. I love listening to just the story-only episodes. That’s like, no intro or no business or anything.  You kind of see what works for you but over the first few tries, it’s just…I guess it’s like…this podcast has a lot of different ways that listeners listen. I kind of try to make it to try to fit into…so it’s kind of…I don’t know.  You can make adjustments for what works for you. But in the end, the podcast just doesn’t work for everybody. You could say…I mean, who are we kidding?

 

I mean, you’ve listened to me; say I’m not sure about this guy.  That’s probably a good sign. Or, I’m still skeptical. I’d say well, that’s probably a good sign too, where you say well, this is…that’s what I think.  That’s what this…I mean, a lot of listeners are like yeah, this is what goes through my mind, too. I say welcome home. If you’re just…if you’re on the fence, you may eventually…this may work for you too ‘cause you say well…I wasn’t so…yeah, I’m not so sure about this but I realize I don’t need to listen to it.  Then there’s some people that are just like, I strongly dis…you know, it’s just not for everybody. My personality is not for everybody, my bare sense of humor is not for everybody, and my creaky, dulcet tones. I hope, I really hope this show works for you. Give it a few tries. That’s what almost all the regular listeners say.  I wish it was magical that it worked for everybody ‘cause like I said, I’ve been there. This week, I’ve had…again; say what in the heck?

 

Yesterday or whatever the day was, I woke up in the middle…I did one of those.  I said what in the heck? I’m tired, here. Then I said I don’t want to…then I got a debate; should I get up and go read or…so, it’s not nice, not being able to sleep.  I want to make it a little bit better if I can. If I can’t, if I can’t put you to sleep, at least I can keep you company, right? Maybe you drift off or maybe you say huh; I’m gonna go Google percolation.  Let’s see where we could buy some percolated coffee. Then you’ll realize well, that’s why…like, some other things. That’s why it’s not available anymore. But I don’t know. I’m just speaking…I’m just brainstorming here.  That’s it. I’m glad you’re here. I really appreciate you checking the show out. I work hard, I really yearn and strive to help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep the show free for everybody.

 

Alright everybody, it’s time to talk about Patty.  We’re not talking about my dog from my youth, Patty the dog, which is spelled the same way, P-A-T-T-Y.  Just talking about The Good Place-episode-Patty, which was a good episode. It opened with a peaceful…the hot air balloon from the last episode, really idealized night sky.  Everyone’s there, the whole soul squad. J, J, and J are snuggled up. Not super-snuggled but snuggled in a good way. We see…there’s clouds, there’s sparkly stars, there’s a full moon.  They’re finally headed to the Good Place, the me of all places. Donny says are we going to the right place, Janet? Janet says I’m sure we’re going to the right place but I’ve never been there because it feels like I’m on my way home.  Then, a flying puppy goes by which has a cape and goggles. Then there’s writing across the sky which says Welcome, You Are Now Entering…it’s in sparkly letters. Then it goes to the opening title card, The Good Place in green. Chapter 51.

 

Oh boy, is this the penultimate?  I guess not, ‘cause that means ten.  Is this…what do they say, the episode before the last episode?  That has a word for it. Then the balloon lands and we’re at a modern…I don’t know if they filmed this at the Getty but it was Getty-esque.  Very cool and modern welcome center. Very, very…holy landscaping. I feel like Dorothy; some of the dialogue. There’s just a lot of good jokes.  Donny gets a lot of good jokes. Jason wants to race go-carts with monkeys, his lifelong dream. He explains why. Definitely worth watching that episode to find that out, and just the acting and body language as he’s talking, explaining it.  I’m seeing it out of one of my eyes right now. Then we see…let’s see. Oh, maybe think of Chittenango Falls. We’ll talk about that. There’s a blue sign. It says Janets Sign-In Here. Janet says does that mean me? Yeah, and then she touches it.  She even makes a…not a girl, not a…she goes, I was born to do this, not born which I thought was funny.

 

There’s a rainbow.  She puts her hand over her eyes and her…the panel, her hand, and her eyes go rainbow and she now has all the information about the Good Place in a nutshell, it slaps.  The humans got to get adjusted. Jason’s hoping to get some squigglies on his brain. Let’s see…brain folds. Eleanor fantasizes about some sunglasses and they appear. There’s gonna be a magical gala later [00:20:00] based on your personalities.  The targeted Instagram ad of parties. That’s when the sunglasses come up. Michael’s a little stressed at first ‘cause he doesn’t know if he belongs there. He says…I don’t know what’s gonna happen but he says you guys have fun. Then there’s a chooming chime, a chiming chime.  It’s very soothing, like a brain being massaged by a baby deer. Michael’s still worried; there’s a lot of…there’s a good joke, a great callback with Jason and Michael. Oh no, that’s two callbacks, actually. But wait a minute; oh, there’s another chime.

 

Instagram ad…oh, grey suit…I really liked Michael’s…he has this nice grey suit with a blue shirt that’s popping blue, plaid bowtie, purple blues of floral pockets squared with the same colors.  I’m looking at him now, holy cow. Afraid he was gonna throw-up butterflies. That was earlier. Oh, then also, Jason’s t-shirt and his whole warm-up suit, blue sky warm-up suit. Oh, then they go into the lobby of the Good Place.  It’s like a welcome lobby or whatever. There’s tables with different stuff in there, kind of like fish…candy bowls or fish bowls with an off-angle, kind of like a fancier fish bowl. One is Smarties with green wrappers. It says Energy You Had When You Were Twelve.  Used or not…oh, then there’s a thing of Ring Pops but they’re not wrapped so I couldn’t tell if they were used Ring Pops or not, or some of them might have…looking…I couldn’t tell. They have a scooper, fully understanding the meaning of Twin Peaks. There’s a listening station that Donny goes to.

 

Every Nice Thing Anyone Has Ever Said About You Behind Your Back which…Karlie Kloss, I guess, like cross…I don’t know, likes Donny.  I’m gonna have to listen weekly to figure that one out. There’s a photo booth…passport photos but look good. The company that runs is Infinite something but it’s blurry.  Eleanor goes in there. Jason smells some tubes of paint or something that say Hug from Grandma. Chidi asks if some of his favorite philosophers are gonna be there but Janet’s like no, no, no, they didn’t…weren’t so great but Hypatia of Alexandria will be here so Chidi’s totally pumped.  He cannot believe it. He’s overwhelmed. Chidi bumped like…I don’t know, I can’t…then the Good Place crew shows up, the Good Place Committee. They say Michael, Michael, heroes. You’re more than welcome here. We have some more exciting news…the party but Michael, we’re gonna swear you in as Official Good Place Architect.  You follow us. There’s even more chimes, more good Donny jokes.

 

Then Janet says when you go through this rainbow portal, we’ll go…that’s when the party will transform, perfectly tailored to your essences.  They say hey, let’s walk through together, then. They walk into Jacksonville’s super sweet bar, conference room type thing. There’s Bortles, there’s a Rock cut out.  I’m gonna pause it when it comes up here. Bedpan from Stone Cold Steve Austin that Eleanor remembers from Vince McMahon. There’s the green doors in the background that if you go through those, you can visit any place real or imagined.  Okay, they’re going through the portal now. They’ve walked in. Let’s see, oh boy. I hit the wrong button there. I got to wait for them to walk through again, kind of like my handwriting, my button-pushing is not that different. There’s champagne and kegs, lot of Jacksonville Jaguars gear.  Fancy tables and lawn furniture, people dressed in various styles to fit all of our main characters.

 

I think there’s some book reading going on for Chidi’s sake.  Oh, there are some bookshelves, beer pong, margaritas. Jacksonville Super Suites…oh, mailmen, mail persons.  Let’s see what else, here. Just watching in the background. Oh, there’s a shrimp soda machine. I think that’s what it is.  Jacksonville’s Super Suites kind of seems like the place where…oh, Jason says prom and traffic court. Yeah, people are reading philosophy, some sort of shrimp soda machine, Eleanor’s happy.  Jason looks happy now, so then they say oh, there’s a perfect party but it’s based on everyone’s combined. It’s a mish-mash. Then that’s when they say oh, these green doors, you can go any place real or imagined.  Jason wants to go race the go-carts but they say oh, you could…dinosaurs or the Hamlet at The Globe, or Tokyo Drift with monkeys; see you in a thousand years. Oh, there’s also a dude in a rainbow sweater which I said is that kind of like Eleanor’s style?  Good Place…oh, that’s later, in a second.

 

Chidi’s starting to worry about talking to Hypatia ‘cause he’s so nervous.  Then Eleanor tells Donny let’s talk shade about everyone here later. This is great.  Then Michael goes…he’s out with the Good Place and there’s this giant scroll. They say Michael, we gotta put the ceremonial robe on you.  They’re just so complimentary; they say boy, do you have shoulders for a robe. There’s a big thumbs-up medallion behind him. He’s like, how am I gonna sign this?  That’s funny. They put a medal on him. He says he feels like Mary Lou Retton. They say now you’re in charge. You’re the boss now. He goes, what do you mean? They go oh, bye-bye.  Everything’s…no take-backs. We’ll see you later. Then they take off. That’s when there’s an ad break. Then Michael starts looking around the more modern part of the headquarters looking for his fellow Good Placemen, it says.  Here, coming up in a minute or so there’s a sign that says Ideas for the Good Place. I’ll pause it there. Ideas for improvement.

 

Then it’s Lisa Kudrow; Chidi eventually meets Hypatia who says you can call me Patty.  He’s totally…his mind’s blown. He’s stumbling over his words. Turns out he had a poster of The Matrix on his wall when he was…with Trinity from The Matrix when he was a kid.  Stardust…oh, she says let’s get some Stardust milkshakes. Isn’t that a good idea? They’re delicious. Yeah, Chidi even asks the correction of…oh, is it Hypatia? He says there’s different…that’s when she says just call me Patty.  Oh, I pictured you as Trinity from The Matrix. Yeah, Chidi can’t even believe…he goes…then he talks about Plotinus. That’s when you realize…she goes jeez, who’s Plotinus? Is he a think-book man or a read-book man? She says sorry, my brain’s a bit foggy.  That’s why I don’t…that’s why I’m not following you. Then she says wait a second, I forgot to tell you; things aren’t going good. Then there’s a cut but I’m gonna cut back right now to Michael wandering right now. In the real replay, everybody’s taking off.

 

Michael’s still looking at his robe.  Now he’s walking the halls. Hello, Good Placemen?  Hello? Now he goes into this office that’s a big mess.  It says Ideas for Improving the Good Place. There’s so many scraps of paper like they’ve been brainstorming for years.  Music you could eat, get more chocolate and chocolate, more hoverboards. Might say they go to a zoom ‘cause I can’t read the rest of it.  Michael’s reading it. I’ll wait until Beyoncé gets here and ask her to fix it. Fewer hoverboards, somehow? Giant mini-donuts; not just regular donuts.  Dave will explain. Then there’s the last one that’s kind of…wonder if we zoom in, what would happen? Well, I zoomed in. There’s one that’s been wiped clean that isn’t there.  Okay, then we cut…the cut happens and then Donny’s talking to a Plotabal who has a Jason jumpsuit from Jason’s dance crew, DDR [00:30:00] or whatever. I had to look up the name and then I forgot it but I got it for the research later.  She says what’s your deal?

 

He goes well, I help the poor in ancient Phoenicia.  She goes, oh, I had a soul cycle instructor named Phoenicia.  Guy talks about how he’s…he’s kinda tuned out, though. He has a lot of good jokes, though.  He’s a bit like a duller version of me, just because of the situation. Also, Janet talks to another Good Janet who is just filling people’s random wishes which doesn’t seem very…everybody’s…can I get a Coke?  Water? Lamp? Cat? No, just a Coke. They say these people just ask you for stuff and you get it? She goes yeah, isn’t that great? Space ship, giant Junior Mint, no Coke. Then Eleanor, Chidi, and Patty are outside drinking their milkshakes.  She’s like, that’s what I do, I drink milkshakes and do other stuff worth watching. They said weren’t you gonna tell us that everything’s a bit in trouble? She goes oh yeah, I forgot. She goes, on paper, paradise, but once all your desires and needs and met in an infinite way and everything’s perfect, you get mushy and glassy-eyed.

 

They can’t believe it.  She goes, I used to be cool and know stuff; art, music, and number piles.  When I say two or six and Chidi goes, math? But she goes when time’s stretched out and every second’s amazing, you kind of…it doesn’t…they say you’re just…we’re just gonna be glassy-eyed for all of existence, eventually?  Then they say well, why didn’t you tell anybody? She goes what if we tell…? Then they go okay, we gotta find everybody. She also has a Bortles jersey on so she goes oh, there’s math on my shirt. Her jersey’s Hypatia; Number 5, actually.  I don’t know if Bortles is 5 or whoever took over for Bortles this year. I can’t remember; Nick Faulk or whatever. I don’t know. Then everybody’s trying to find one another; Donny, Eleanor, Chidi, caviar, Jell-O shots we hear about. The first people here and no one cares.  Even the Good Janets are weird. Then everybody meets up. They say this Good Place is not good. Everyone’s happiness zoned out.

 

No one’s doing anything because by the time they realize something’s happening, they’re gone.  Patty’s offering milkshakes. They go, we gotta find the committee. Michael shows up. He says I’m the committee.  At some point, Patty was double-fisted with milkshakes. I think that’s when Michael shows up. Eleanor has a Hufflepuff joke, a Sorting Hat Hufflepuff joke, ‘cause Michael says they put me in charge and then they ran away.  They go wait, we can’t believe this. Some people are enjoying themselves. Jason comes back in a driving suit and he has high energy. Goes to an ad though, ‘cause he goes that dream was not…got boring fast. He goes, monkeys is only fun for so long then you try out hippos or other beings; fifty combos.  Then I missed my friends. Then we get another nutshell. I didn’t realize it happened twice. Okay, so that’s it in a nutshell, when you can do anything and you do everything. Then you’re done. You still have infinity to go, ‘til alls you have left is milkshakes.

 

Why didn’t the Good Place try to help?  They go, they did. Then they’re back. Oh wait, there’s an important thing at fifteen minutes; then they’re back at the office trying to go through everything.  They go jeez, I tried to make unicorns bigger, give ‘em horns, do a bunch of stuff, but they were fluffy rhinos. But the committee members aren’t human. As soon as we showed up, they took off.  Then once again, Eleanor…you say whose show is this? Eleanor says you know what? I’m not giving up. Once again, we can count on Eleanor. I’m not gonna give up. She has some jokes; we designed this system.  People are in paradise but this joyless cosmic Coachella. Then they say what about a memory reset? They say no, that’s not…we can’t use the same playbook as the Ungood Place. Eleanor thinks of solutions. She says, jeez, you know what gives life meaning is big…you know, the big farm or whatever is beyond the big farm.  What if we do that?

 

The best way to restore meaning is to let people leave the Good Place when they so choose.  They go could we do that? Eleanor says you’re in charge of the Good Place. You could do whatever you want.  Then there’s a party and Michael’s missing. Then he shows up very silly; he says cool, my babies. I don’t know if that was…if that was…my brother, my brother and me or not.  Jason and Michael cracking up, talking about Taco Bell. Eleanor makes a speech. She says okay, everyone…let me get your attention. I’m Eleanor Shellstrop. I hope you’re having fun at this floor-zone of British Library Extravaganza.  But I guess it’s not fun anymore which is kind of the point. You’re on a never-ending vacation. The only thing that makes a vacation special is at the end. Also, there’s a glass or a ice swan. She goes, so we have an idea; we’re gonna have a new door and when you’re finished with the Good Place, you’re satisfied, go through that door and your time in the universe will end.

 

She goes, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but you can and hopefully knowing that you don’t have to be here forever will help you feel happier while you are.  I say well, what will happen if you go through it? She says well, we don’t know. But it’ll be peaceful and your journey will be over. You led good lives. You deserve your place here so stay as long as you like.  Use the green doors to do everything and then when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace. Does that sound good? Everyone’s happy. There’s also, I paused it to see the crowd here during Eleanor’s speech.  It might be worth…there’s a lot of different styles. I don’t know how to…I wanted to see what it would be. Let’s see, does that sound good? Then there’s a party. Then they go to a party. Jason, DJ music is DJing, make some noise.  Janet’s like, that’s my boyfriend. Patty’s like okay, eventually I’m gonna get back to normal. This was groundbreaking for me; I never knew how to spell ennui or what ennui spelled was, my whole life.

 

Whatever; E-N-N-U-I.  That was a big learning moment for me.  She says I’ll be back. It’s lucky we ran into you.  Chidi says no, no, lucky we ran into you. You saved us.  She goes no, no, your friendship is what saved you. He goes yeah, yeah, I know.  I got that. They say okay, let’s do it. Then we go to the old neighborhood with all the soul squad.  Michael’s like I got my office nearby. We see…Donny’s castle of whatever those things are called; pillars.  I think we saw Eleanor’s spot. He goes Jason, I took a while to guess Stupid Nick’s Wing Dump. Jason’s like, I’m never gonna get sick of wings, even if it’s boring.  Then they’re like you know what, Michael? You were right. Everything is fine, Eleanor says. They say okay, but there’s still one more episode left, so it’s like uh…I have not seen it.  I will watch it probably tonight…and waiting. Let’s see, so then we have one last shot of Eleanor and Chidi. They’re…I think they’re out back at Eleanor’s place. He has this amazing view.  It’s sunrise or sunset.

 

Totally romantic moment.  Snuggled up. This is what we’ve been looking for since the day we met.  This is what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.  You’re right, and we have as long as we want. Then there’s this couple’s moment over the blanket. It’s a really genuine, sweet moment, and the episode comes to a close.  Now we’re gonna run through what facts…let’s see here. I looked up a lot of stuff for this one. Let’s see, let’s start with the J. Paul Getty Museum. I think this has come up on the show…also it came up [00:40:00] because I had an amends to make from when I was in middle school or a freshman in high school to my mom’s aunt because we went to visit her in Washington, DC and she took us to a restaurant called J. Paul’s and I got into an arg…she said…this is after J. Paul…this is J. Paul Getty’s restaurant, or named after J. Paul Getty.  I thought it was named after…because I was playing this computer game based on all the great armadas of history.

 

I don’t know who was J. Paul…John Paul Jones or something.  I don’t know. I was arguing with her. Even though she lived there and took us to the restaurant; I was like, are you sure this isn’t John…I was like, splaining her.  A little bit embarrassed but the J. Paul Getty Museum, known as a Getty; if you’ve been through LA, you’ve seen it on the hill. There’s two campuses but The Getty Center, that’s the primary museum.  It’s in LA on hill…above the 405. Very modern. It’s in video games too so you may have even seen it. In ’74, J. Paul Getty opened a museum in recreation of a villa…The Villa Museum in Malibu and inherited a lot of money.  Let’s see, and then…there’s a lot on…not all good either, but there’s a lot on it. It doesn’t really talk…oh, I guess maybe ‘cause I got to go to the Getty Center. That’s what I’m talking about. 1.3 billion Center opened in 1997.  I remember when it was getting built. I lived in LA. Maybe I was even there…oh, I lived there when it opened. That’s interesting.

 

I don’t know if I went there when it opened.  Maybe. I guess I think I did, over that year.  It sits atop here; it’s got a cable-pulled hover train people-mover.  1.8 million visitors annually. I don’t know, just wanted to look it up…a little bit about it.  How about Dorothy Gale? She’s from L. Frank Baum’s main protagonist in the Oz novels, which I’ve never read one, including the 1900 Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  Appears in most of the sequels and adaptations including the film The Wizard of Oz. In later novels, she’d be like…lives there as a resident. Just trying to figure out what else we could learn about Dorothy Gale.  Let’s see, maybe we should…let’s just look up the Wizard of Oz, the film. Oh, Dorothy…let’s see, let’s see. Dorothy Dwan played Dorothy in the 1925 film. Then in the 1939 film she was played by Judy Garland. My speaking inability is…that was the film The Wizard of Oz.  Let’s see, The Wizard of Oz, what year did that come out? Oh, 1939.

 

Its budget was 2.8 million and it made 26 million in the box office.  I don’t know if that was just at the time. Very famous movie. Production began when Snow White and the Seven Dwarves showed that these kind of films could be successful.  Yeah, let’s see what else we got here. Had a lot of music, obviously, timeless part of history, a lot of good remakes. It did receive much acclaim upon release including Judy Garland’s performance.  Roger Ebert called it one of the great films; comedy, music, special effects, and excitement, and a great story that penetrates to the deepest feelings of childhood and then reassures them. Yeah, that’s influenced a lot of people.  Let’s see, I’m just trying to figure out what else would be interesting to talk…I guess that’s it. I want to talk about Chittenango because I think that’s where L. Frank Baum was from. When I lived there, they would always say oh, one day they’re gonna open a Wizard of Oz theme park in Chittenango, New York.

 

That’s C-H-I-T-T-E-N-A-N-G-O.  I don’t think they ever did and probably they won’t, ‘cause I don’t know if there’s…it’s just the best place for a theme park.  I don’t know, but they do have Chittenango Falls State Park which I’ve been to. If you’re around, you should check it out. It’s on the east side of Cazenovia Lake, Madison County, New York.  167-foot waterfall that cascades over 400-million-year-old bedrock. This is all from Wikipedia, everything so far. At the bottom is Chittenango Creek, flows underneath a wooden bridge. There’s picnic tables, hiking.  About 45,000 people go each year. It used to have a campground; it doesn’t anymore. It’s open year-round but the Falls Hike is not open in the winter. Definitely, if you’re in New York state, right in the central hub of New York state, you should think about checking it out; Chittenango Falls.  I mean, I should try to do it the next time I’m in town. Jason talked about his brain folds and his smooth brain.

 

I think he’s had a smooth brain joke before ‘cause I can hear him saying smooth brain, or someone’s saying it, but gyrification, gyrification.  G-Y-R-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N is a process of forming the characteristic folds of the cerebral cortex. The peak of the fold is a gyrus, or gyri. The trow is known as the sulcus.  The neurons are…lie in the cerebral cortex in a thin layer of grey matter on the surface of the brain. Much of the interior volume’s got white matter. There’s a lot of other stuff but I was just like what are the…what is it and why?  They say well, it increases the speed of brain cell communication since the folds, a lot of cells to be closer to one another, requiring less time and energy to transmit neuronal electrical impulses. That’s good to know. There’s theories on causality, mechanical factors, there’s a lot about it.  I just thought it was interesting. I said well, what is that called? Let me look that up. Now let’s move onto Smarties here on Wikipedia. Now in the US, Smarties are candy produced by Smarties Candy Company, formally Cede Candy.

 

That’s C-E-D-E Candy, Inc.  They were originally produced in factories in Union Township, New Jersey and Newmarket, Ontario.  But in Canada they were known as Rockets because Nestle has a different type of candy in the UK called Smarties.  The New Jersey factory produces one billion rolls of Smarties annually and in total, the company produces 2.5 billion a year.  Now, here’s where it gets good; one individual candy is a bi-concave disk in shape with a diameter of roughly one centimeter and a height of four millimeters.  They come in combinations within the wrapped rolls; these include white and pastel shades of yellow, pink, orange, purple, and green. Each color’s flavor’s different.  Usually there’s fifteen candies in a roll. They’re peanut-free, gluten-free, fat-free, and dairy-free, and free of animal products and suitable for vegans, according to Wikipedia.  After World War II the D family bought pellet machines. These pellet machines, they re-purposed them to make candy.

 

Then yeah, they’ve had a history of trying it out.  They even had one with a Rock-the-Vote in 2004 wrapper.  They released a theatre box in 2009 with a retro look. They changed their name to Smarties Candy Company in 2011.  In 2011 they also confirmed that they're vegan. Their factories operate twenty-four hours a day, five days a week. That’s making 70,000 pounds of candy a day.  Yeah, they contain dextrose, citric acid, calcium stearate and natural flavors, artificial flavors, and colors. Let’s just see if we link over there to Nestle’s Smarties just to get a…Nestle’s Smarties are color-varied sugar-coated chocolate [00:50:00] confectionary manufactured since 1937 in the UK.  I love this. Oblate spheroids. Talk about…how do you learn your geometry? Candy on Wikipedia is one way. They come in eight colors; red, orange, yellow, blue, green, mauve, how do you say that? Pink and brown. They’ve changed that depending on the colors and the coloring. I think that’s it.

 

Rowntree’s of York is the ones making chocolate beans since 1882.  I don’t know if I’ve had a Smartie, a chocolate Smartie, but they look a bit like another candy-coated chocolate here in the US but I don’t know if they taste any different or not.  Of course, a Good Place does its research. I do my research on Wikipedia but the Good Place does it deep. The Hypatia of Alexandria was a Hellenistic Neoplatonist philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician at the Neoplatonic school in Alexandria.  She took philosophy and astronomy. She was the first female mathematician whose life was reasonably well-recorded. Great teacher, wise counsellor, she wrote a commentary on the Diophantine’s thirteen-volume Arithmetica. It was also re-integrated into the text.  That’s how some of it survived. Many modern scholars believe that Hypatia edited the surviving text of Ptolemy’s Almagest. She’s known to have constructed astrolabes and hydrometers but did not invent them, but probably improved upon them.

 

She was known for her tolerance.  Even though she was a Pagan she was tolerant towards Christians and other…any kind of students she had.  There’s a lot on here on Wikipedia so if you say man, I want to know more about Hypatia or Patty, you should check it out.  Her whole history, a lot of paintings of her. Her trip to the Good Place is even talked in there. Now, let’s say you did want to go…you said I want to create a Jacksonville Super Suites experience.  Of course, this thing’s trying to…I don’t want to book now. It’s trying to tell me to book now but I just want to look up some options but this thing is…well, let’s just say…let’s check in here, check out there.  Okay, so here’s our options here; there’s the Holiday Inn Express and Suites at Jacksonville Airport. Right now, it’s looking like it’s $149. Looks like it has breakfast. This is on…what is this? Trip Advisor. $149.  That’s just today only, though. Four out of five dots, 485 reviews. Breakfast included. Looks…indoor pool, looks like.

 

Comfort Suites near Bay Meadows.  Bay Meadows near Butler Boulevard.  That has four and a half circles. Looks like it's $157, breakfast also included.  Then there’s the Hyatt Place near Jacksonville Airport. That’s $171. I stay at those; it’s one of my preferred discount hotels.  So, just in case…I mean, if you say where’s…where would Scoots prefer; Hyatt Place. Those are kind of suite-esque. I don’t think they have anything to cook with.  I guess that doesn’t make it a suite but it has a place to sit and then a bed. Then there’s Comfort Suites Airport. That’s down to $121. Oh, that has four dots. Hyatt Place has four dots but the Hyatt Place has 1,100 reviews.  Everything else is in the couple hundreds. Double Tree Hilton is $439. That’s at the airport. Four dots out of five. Hilton Garden Inn; that’s four and a half stars, 722 reviews, $274. Holiday Inn Express and Suites Town Center is $221.  That has four stars but it’s only 23 reviews. Hampton Inn and Suites, four and a half.

 

Jacksonville South at Bartram Park.  That’s $214. 904 reviews. Then we’re back at the Holiday Inn Express.  Those are just some options there if you’re thinking about a trip to…if you say I want to recreate that, you probably shouldn’t do it at one of those places if you’re paying, but I just want to give you the choice.  How about Mary Lou Retton? Retired American gymnast, boycotted the 1984 Olympics. Oh no, at the boycott at ’84 Olympics. She won a gold medal, two silver medals, and two bronze. Her performance made her one of the most popular athletes in the US.  Her gold medals…historically, she won the first ever all-around gold medal at the Olympics for an American. Originally from Fairmont, West Virginia. Let’s see her gymnastics career. She was inspired by watching Nadia Comaneci at the 1976 Summer Olympics and she took it up, took it seriously, moved to Houston, Texas and worked her way up.

 

Post-career, she’s been famous for endorsing stuff, famous for…she was in…Mary Lou Retton was in Scrooged, right?  And Naked Gun 33 1/3. That’s definitely…I said that was a great thing. Let’s see, also on TV, Knots Landing. Wow, Baywatch, Glee.  The Superbowl. Oh, Superbowl commercial for RadioShack, Dancing with the Stars. She patented a move called the Retton Flip which consisted of a transition front flip from the low to high bar resulting in the gymnast perched or sitting on top of the high bar.  This and many others were removed from gymnastics but Mary Lou Retton; mentioned on the episode and beloved, right? What else do we got here? Let’s look up…oh, let’s find out Jason’s dance crew really quick. Jason Mendoza, successful DJ. This is over on thegoodplacefandom.com.  Amateur EDM DJ. Let’s see where it says his name of his dance crew. Jason…season two…season three…it’s gotta be…what was that, season one or season three that he…?

 

Let’s see, Jason…they call him childlike.  Gianu, DJ Acidcat, Mr. Music, DJ Music. Let’s see, Reboot…Jason…I thought it was in season three that he had to go back and do everything.  I don’t know, I guess I didn’t manage to figure out the name of Jason’s dance crew. What about Hufflepuff? This is over at harrypotter.fandom.com.  Learn a little bit about Hufflepuff, here. Hufflepuff is one of four houses of Hogwarts School. Its founder was Helga Hufflepuff. It’s the most inclusive.  Hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, fair play rather than a particular aptitude. Emblematic animal is the badger. Yellow and black are its colors. Head of Hufflepuff is Pomona Sprout and the Fat Friar is the house’s big farm buddy.  Corresponds to the element of earth. That’s where its colors come from, wheat and soil. The Hufflepuff point hourglass contains yellow diamonds. Oh, that’s interesting. Students sorted in Hufflepuff are good at Herbology. Hard working, we got that part.

 

Friendly, inclusive, strong moral code, right and wrong, accepting of everyone.  Also the funniest to say. Hufflepuff is definitely the best-sounding. What are the other…Ravensclaw…whatever…Slytherin.  That sounds like something to do. What have you been doing? I’ve been Slytherin. Who are you? I’m a Hufflepuff. Ravensclaw sounds like you’re actually…a Hufflepuff is where…Ravensclaw, you’d say are you really Ravensclaw?  Then the main one I definitely wouldn’t get into that one, so whatever Harry Potter was in. I might [01:00:00] even be passive aggressive. I don’t know the name of it. I’ll look it up. I even…yeah, ‘cause I guess I have something…it’s like well…I wouldn’t be in that school.  I don’t know, what’s the name…houses, the four houses. Let’s see, the Hogwarts houses are…I should know this off the top of my head. Gryffindor, of course. If you’re asking…I always thought I was Slytherin but then I took all the tests and I’m Ravensclaw, so. That’s who Scoots is, is Ravensclaw.

 

What about the phrase in a nutshell?  This is from phrases.org.uk, the phrase-finder.  We’ll finish up with this. What’s the meaning of in a nutshell?  Well, in a few words, concisely stated, but what’s the origin of the phrase?  They say it’s fairly easy to reduce; anything that can be written in so few words that would fit in a nutshell would have to be brief and to the point.  The first text that was supposed to be enclosed in a nutshell was far from small; Pliny the Elder recorded an event he believed to be genuine in natural history which was written in AD 77, translated in 1601.  Cicero has recorded that the poem of Homer called the Iliad was written on parchment and enclosed in a nutshell. The same writer though, mentioned one…of one who could see a distance of 135 miles. I don’t know, there’s a lot more about it.  You say well jeez, I really want to know about more…about in a nutshell. Oh, and then actually, finally, we’ll do one more thing just ‘cause those of you that might be taking the SAT or anything, or you want to know this, this is something I learned.

 

Ennui is spelled E-N-N-U-I, the French ennui.  This was a sight word for me so I knew ennui; I never knew how to say it but I knew what it meant.  But I didn’t realize that was also ennui. E-N-N-U-I. The next time you see it, it doesn’t have to just be a sight word for you.  You can say oh, that’s ennui. Or the next time you say…hear someone say ennui, you could picture E-N-N-U-I. Ennui is that weariness, according to dictionary.com; the feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from lack of satiety or interest or boredom.  It’s a noun; ennui. I hope this podcast is a little bit different than ennui, the kind of boredom and distraction and lack of interest that leaves you full and rested. Goodnight.

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