862 – Sleep Speedy Cushion Cast

EPISODE 862 – Sleep Speedy Cushion Cast

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER:           Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcast that puts the lulls and ahh…and, you know, puts the ahh in the sleep podcast multiple times, patrons, and you’re the ones that support it.  Thank you so much. What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, things on your mind that you say well, work, life, past, present, whatever’s on…think thoughts.  Thinking stuff. You have feelings, physical sensations or emotions or anything else coming up for you. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, schedule, routine, road bumps. Holy cow, here’s what I never…I don’t think this…I always say this and then I’m usually wrong, but I don’t know if speedbumps or road bumps, we’ll call them, have ever come up in a podcast intro before.

 

I could be wrong so maybe we’ll come back to that ‘cause I just started to think about…I don’t want to go on a super-early tangent but you know, this is a group of people that I have not expressed my…I don’t know, I guess sympathy for, that was the word.  I said it’s not condolences, but it could be. Here’s something…I mean the rest of us, you want to talk about a practice in empathy and compassion ‘cause you could say well Scoots, come on. I’d say well, any opportunity, and really to deepen our understanding of empathy and compassion, is a good opportunity.  Think about this. There’s people that live in a home or a building or a dwelling where there’s speedbumps or road bumps which are worse than speedbumps ‘cause a road bump is an unofficial speedbump. I don’t know, or just a bump in the road. Road bump is probably worse. Speedbump, well speedbump would be…at night you’d have the brake lights of people slowing down, then you’d have the mutterings of people that…oh, you’re right.

 

I should get back to the…maybe I’ll try to get back to this.  You’re right, brain. Good thing my left brain, or my right…whichever brain controls that logic stuff, it just told me you’re in the…right at the start of an intro for a podcast.  I said blimey, holy moly, you’re right. Oshkosh b’gosh. Whatever’s keeping you awake; if it’s road bumps, you’re in the right place tonight. This is a custom…by the way, this is our new customized intro just for you.  Don’t forget to…if you’re hearing this and you live by a road bump, don’t forget to become a patron tonight because tonight’s the night, if you know what I’m saying. Or the other eight hundred episodes ago when I talked about this, and eight hundred episodes from now and I say you know what I’ve never talked about?  Speedbumps. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m gonna try to take your mind off that. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna try to create a safe place where if I can, you feel acknowledged and respected and welcomed. I’m glad you’re here.

 

I say that, right, because I mean it.  Then what I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Oh-so creaky, just like Raven once upon a time was Oh-so Raven.  No longer; now Raven is, you know, a matriarch, I think. I saw…I was taking a nap. I saw about four minutes of Raven before I took a nap.  Oh, she was…oh, another part of my brain just said by the way, that’s That’s So Raven, not…it was never called Oh-so Raven. Really? Are you sure about that?  No, even my brain’s not sure about that one. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m gonna send my voice, a lulling…safe place…oh, creaky, dulcet tones. Oh, I was gonna say they’re oh-so creaky tonight.  Pointless meanders; we've had quite a few already, superfluous tangents, extra uhs, ahs, and ums, pauses that are not pregnant with meaning but pauses where you don’t know what to expect. Pointless meanders, I think I said that.  Here’s the thing, if you’re new, welcome.

 

You’re already getting a good dose of Sleep With Me podcast.  I’m glad you’re here. This is a podcast to take your mind off of stuff while you fall asleep.  If you’re new, you might be saying how’s he gonna…when are you gonna start it, or how are you gonna do that, or what do you mean, or what are you talking about?  Those are all not just normal reactions; very common reactions to the show. Hopefully when I say I’m glad you’re here, you say well, okay, that’s one for Scoots.  Okay, I’ll let my guard down a little bit but believe me buddy, I don’t know what you’re up to with this sleep podcast thing. I’d say well, I’ll kind of tell you; the podcast is here to keep you company.  It’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to though. You can kind of barely listen, you could listen in a fuzzy way, you can try to listen and follow along. Especially for new listeners, you can find that frustrating ‘cause it’s kind of like, you’re like when’s this…movie, for example; sometimes when I go to a movie and my story-brain is too vocal, I’m like, paying too much attention to the story.

 

I’m like, when’s this story gonna get started?  Then I have to see the movie again to really enjoy it ‘cause I say oh, okay, well now I don’t got to think about what twists and turns it’s gonna take.  But this one doesn’t take any…you’d say when’s this podcast gonna get started? I’d say well, kind of already has. It kind of barely has already started and it’ll barely keep going, but it will.  It’s a podcast you barely need to listen to; that’s one thing, but here’s the other side of it; there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for about an hour to keep you company as you drift off, so you could kind of fall asleep whenever you wish, or whenever is convenient for you.  Then if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to the very end to keep you company ‘cause I make the show just as much for those of you that are waking up in the middle of the night, or that can’t get to sleep and just need something to listen to, or maybe you’re having a stressful day.

 

I make this show in a complete way for everybody, even if you never hear it.  I guess that’s a bit…I always say paradoxical because I guess it is. It doesn’t make sense.  It makes sense to me in its senselessness. I don’t know how to say it. I was trying too hard to make something concise there.  Podcast you don’t need to listen to and you don’t need to…no pressure to fall asleep. I’m here, yeah, to be at your side as you drift off.  Structurally, what to expect, a little late to tell you this, but the show is very slow-developing so it starts off with business. That’s how we keep it free for everybody.  That’s the first few minutes of the show. Then there’s about a twelve to eighteen-minute portion of the show that we’re in now where I try to introduce the podcast in a direct way and then I go off-topic.  That’s the introduction; twelve to twenty minutes or so. But it also has a dual-purpose for most listeners. Now, if you become a regular listener, you could be like those 2% or 3% of people that skip ahead to the story.

 

They just start the show at twenty minutes or they become a patron; they usually listen to the story-only episodes that they get in their patron feed.  But you know, when you’re first listening, the whole idea of the intro…you say well, why can’t you just get to the story or get to the point? I say well, here’s the thing; my job is not exactly to be a good story-teller.  You say well, at least you know that. I’d say no, no, my job is to ease you into bedtime at first, not to get you ready for bed. That’s your job. I mean, I do do that. It’s about $10,000 an hour. I actually hire…I have people I work with, so I have a tooth-brusher…I’m more the director.  I say okay, this is imaginary. It’s an imaginary business I have, hopefully with droids. I’d say okay, Brushbot2000, start brushing their teeth. Then I’ll have Balmbot who will balm your elbows and your knees and whatever else needs balming; calves, that’s another nice thing to balm.

 

But the podcast is here as you get ready for bed, to ease you into bedtime whether [00:10:00] before you’re in bed or as you’re in bed getting comfortable.  That’s kind of the dual-purpose of the intro, is to introduce the new listeners, but it’s the regular listeners that listen to the intros most of all because they say okay, this is familiar but it’s different every time.  I know it’s just part of my bedtime routine. That’s the intro. Then there will be a story and then there’ll be some thank-yous. Oh, there’s some business between the intro and the story. That’s just podcast structure stuff.  That’s the structure of the show. You don’t need to listen; you don’t need to pay attention. You actually don’t even need to fall asleep. I’m here, yeah, I’m your bedtime companion; your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie.  Maybe one day your best bore-bestie ever. For those of you that like tasty waves, I can be your bore-bruh, or tasty snow…whatever you call that; moguls, or powder.

 

Yeah, tasty powder.  Do people say tasty powder?  Oh, yes, they do, but that’s…people that powder donuts say that, yeah.  What was I talking about at the beginning of the show? ‘Cause I went off…creaky, Oh-so Raven, creaky, dulcet tones…I had a big tangent I was on.  I think I was even interviewing someone. It wasn’t Oh-so Raven though. That’s when I kind of went back. I already forgot what it was ‘cause it was somewhat…it was definitely a tangent and I thought it was mildly interesting but alas…oh, ‘cause I said why don’t we look…could we look this up?  Oh, it’s road bumps. That’s what it was. Yeah, don’t worry road bump listeners, ‘cause I said that’s one group of people who don’t get enough attention. ‘Cause you have people that live by rowdy people. You say okay, I can sympathize with you. You live by rowdy people. Or you live by a fog horn.  Holy mackerel, that’s another group of people I’ve never…I mean, I wouldn’t mind living by a fog horn in my mind.

 

I guess in my fantasies.  I did sleep on Angel Island once, and that fog horn…it seemed pretty nice.  But yeah, if you live by a speedbump or a road bump, I feel you. That’s all I could say.  You say well, you know, how come you never dedicated a podcast to us before, Scoots? I said well, are you sure I didn’t?  I forgot because yeah, you got your speedbumping which could…I guess if it’s regular, a lot of noise if it’s regular or there’s not any lulls, it’s not too bad.  But I guess you’d say well, around 1:00 a.m. the traffic dies down and then you got just the occasional road bumping. Or if you have a speedbump, yeah, you probably have the brake lights, you have people complaining about the speedbump, you have people forget about it.  I don’t know, they say with the internet, everything has a fan, everybody has a…there’s people that really are into stuff. Are there fans of speedbumps? I mean, other than the purpose; hey, slow it down, you know?

 

I get that part but if you say…oh, a speedbump enthusiast.  I guess you’d say well, there’s two kinds of speedbump enthusiasts; there’s the ones that like…well now there’s probably three or four kinds, actually more because you have…here’s the thing; you have…maybe I should change up this episode.  Maybe tonight we’ll do a episode…yeah, let’s just wait for the episode. We’ll do a speedbump enthusiast cast instead of my neighbor Ray. Ray will be on…I’ll…yeah, so tonight’s episode we’ll be talking about speedbump enthusiasts ‘cause there are so many different angles.  Hardie-har-har. Whatever’s keeping you awake, my main message is I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. The reason I make this show is two-fold; one, I truly believe you do deserve some comfort and some sleep, and I’m happy to provide that if I can. The other side of it is I’ve been there in the deep, dark night, tossing and turning, mind racing.  Trouble getting to sleep? Yep. Trouble staying asleep? Yep.

 

Trouble…all the…yeah, I’ve had it all.  I’m not gonna get into details but I really do know what it’s like and I don’t know, yeah, I guess like I said, I’d like to help it if I can.  The other side is if you’re new, it doesn’t work for everybody. This podcast definitely is not for everybody. A large portion of those people already knew it and they’ve already started sending me e-mails but here’s the thing; give it a few tries.  I just spoke to someone that said it took four to…they gave the show four or five tries and then they said holy cow, between four and five, I realized I didn’t have to figure this out. Since then, it’s been…I forgot who you were. Like I said at first, I was wondering who this…and then I realized I don’t have to figure anything out, and then I forgot ‘cause I fall right asleep.  I really hope the podcast can help you. If it doesn’t, I have a list of other podcasts at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. You could check that out, but I’m really glad you're here. I work very hard on this show because I yearn and I strive and I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by.

 

Alright, hey everybody.  Welcome to Road Bump Notes, the podcast about bumps in the road and things interesting to road bump enthusiasts.  I’m your host. This is our first episode; did I say that? I’m Dreg, yeah, and this is the Road Bumps Podcast. I want to thank Scooter for having me on and I’m really excited to talk to you about bumps in the road and things interesting to…like, that I believe would be interesting to road bump enthusiasts.  Yeah, but I’ve never done this before so I thought I’d start out over at Wikipedia with kind of a history of road bumps, or humps. I know, if you are an enthusiast, you’d probably say whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s not under-classify things here. I would say for sure; I know…I do, I prefer humps. We may even talk about other things, but let’s start with this Wikipedia article and we'll just do some quoting and paraphrasing from it.  Speedbumps, or traffic thresholds, are the common name for traffic-calming devices. Yeah, we’re here with the podcast.

 

We’ll talk about that next.  Don’t worry; I’m here to calm you and like Scooter says, maybe the traffic going on with you.  But these particular devices use vertical deflection to slow traffic in order to improve…keeping it good for everybody.  There’s other variations. The hump, the cushion, or the table which I guess if I had notes, I’d say maybe we could think of dances for those.  There was the Humpty Dance which maybe I could make sure to look up later, too. We could talk about that. Let’s see, the use of vertical deflection devices which we could call VDDs, I guess that’s another 80s hip-hop song.  You down with VDDs? No, I don’t know what they are. Oh, vertical deflection devices. Oh, I still don’t know what they are. Oh, they’re like, it’s a speed table. Never heard of it. Speed cushion? Is that the bus driver’s seats?  I don’t know. Oh. I don’t know what VDD is. Oh, okay, well, it’s a vertical deflection device found around the world to slow people down.

 

They could, the VDDs, could be sometimes controversial because people that are in a hurry, you know, they say well, I’m in a hurry.  But there are official businesses where people are in a hurry so you do have to think about that in your design and maybe make allotments for that.  As Scooter said in the intro, it could be noisy if you live by one, and then poorly-designed ones can make it bad for everybody. They’re also not good for low-riders, vehicles with low clearance, or sports cars, they say, like old Lightning McQueen, the car from that movie or Ricky Bobby, gotta go fast.  I’d say well, on a racetrack, sure; no speed humps on a racetrack unless it’s a racetrack involving that. Also, they say motorcyclists…they would probably have…that probably wasn’t easy for them bicyclists which they can make a little cut in them for bicycles to go by, especially if they’re not very visible.  [00:20:00] I would add unicycles. I’d say if you’re on a unicycle, even…probably…I’ve never ridden a unicycle but I would say that.

 

According to Wikipedia, speedbumps cost between $50 and $200 but I don’t necessarily…well, we’ll look up those numbers in just a bit so hold onto your…hold your horses.  That’s what a speedbump would say proverbially to a vehicle. It wouldn’t say…actually, it would say hold your horses meaning proverbially, which usually means slow down, not stop, although sometimes it does mean stop, like if you’re moving around quickly in a house in front of someone that wants you to slow down.  That’s just a little bit about it but let’s cover more. Composition; they can be made from a variety of materials. Now, normally, I’d say okay, concrete or asphalt. I'd say yes, they also say plastic, metal. I’d say metal? Hmm. I’ve seen a speed stopper which is different. I don’t know if I’ve seen a metal speedbump.  I’ve seen ones that have metal, vulcanized rubber. Now, it does say there’s several trade-offs. Traditionally, most VDDs, vertical deflection devices, are constructed from asphalt or concrete.

 

It’s durable, rigid, they’re more permanent and more effective, according to this article.  Anyone that’s ever tried to make one at home in a driveway or a snowbank or other places, not…only where…not in a public area.  I’ve only tried to make them where I…in a private area. They can be very difficult to shape, even the ones I made from snow, which you’d also call jumps for sledding.  A lot of times the sled would just go through it and not over it. I said well, I guess this is too steep or poorly designed. I said well, maybe that’s why I would one day make a podcast for speed hump enthusiasts and not speed hump engineering cast because those engineering schools…well, anyway.  We’ll just move on. We don’t need to talk about their high standards ‘cause I hold the work of engineers in high esteem. Okay, so those could be difficult to shape as I said, but rubberized products, they can be pre-shaped and made to fit any standard. Now, pre-formed rubber is usually bolted down so it’s easier to remove.

 

You could use it temporarily as you’re designing it and testing out to see if it would work.  Now, this is one I did not think of; bolted-down products could also be removed or relocated in wintertime.  I did not even think about that until just now. But that would be legitimate oh, not only because of snowplows bumping them but because they’d be hidden under the snow.  Wow, what a world we live in. Finally. I would like to write a book, though; Snowplows and Speed Humps or Speed Humps and Snowplows: A Collection of Poetry. Oh, there you are lying in the road, waiting.  That would be the start of one of my poems. Sorry, I don’t know if you…oh, welcome to…what’s the name of the show? I forgot. Speed Hump Notes, the podcast for people interested in speed humps and…I forgot.  I don’t think any speed humps would listen to this, or speedbumps, or speed cushions. Which one would be the best for a superhero? I think speed cushion.

 

Speed table…’cause you say speed hump; well, that would be handy.  You say well, yeah, I carry stuff around or yes, I’ve designed myself…like, if a camel and a cheetah…so, I’m very fast but I can hold, you know, I hold water and I can transport people.  You say, that would be a very…it wouldn’t be the kind of superhero you would read about in comics but you would probably read about them in books of…you might say oh boy, did that save me time.  We really go the speed limit but speed humps; we move you where you’re going. Also, free water and we give you a ride. Speed humps. I’m a superhero but the only thing I can do is run a moving company.  Great. I said well, at least you’re not speed table. They’d say hurry up, I need a card table over here; your cousins are coming over. You say well, can’t you just like, call Speed Table to do it? Speed Table; when you need a table in a hurry, call Speed Table.  Maybe it would be like, someone that…I don’t know if they’d become a table or they’d just have a utility belt with tables on it.

 

That would be hard.  You’d probably need speed humps…they’d probably…maybe they’d make a good pair.  Speedbump, you’d say, well, that’s just life. Some people call it The School of Hard Knocks, I call it The…you know, A Bump in a…The Road Bumps.  Maybe The Road Bumps could be a backing band for someone, though. Charlotte and The Road Bumps. Okay, back to Wikipedia. Sorry, I went on a little tangent there.  Things interesting to speedbump enthusiasts. That’s me. Yeah, so, the nice thing about those is they’re removable in the winter time, though I can’t imagine that has to be a lot of work, putting them…monitoring them.  I wonder when the first digital speedbump will be. That would be…a digital speedbump. I don’t know what that…a digital speedbump could be something like, for children’s devices. They say whoa, slow down. We’re gonna slow…or I don’t know, it sounds like it’d be good with something that could be useful.

 

You’d say, you’re just getting that too…you got too many browser tabs open.  Welcome to my digital speedbump. You say, well, that’s how I keep track of everything that I need to look up or read later.  Okay, so what about the history of speedbumps? In 1906, New York Times reported that Chatham, New Jersey tried to raise their crosswalks, or planned to.  That might be the first speedbump, to slow automobiles down ‘cause the average top speed was around thirty miles an hour which is just too darn fast. Then, Arthur Holly Compton who was a physicist, won the Nobel Prize for physics in 1927 for changes in electromagnetic theory, invented the traffic control bumps, TCBs.  You thought it stood for the country’s best yogurt, but you take off the Y and you say why? Slow it down, that’s why, so I can enjoy my ice cream cone here on the side of the road. That’s what Arthur Holly Compton said because in 1953, Compton began designs on it ‘cause people were going too fast at Washington University in St. Louis where he was Chancellor.

 

In 1973, there was a comprehensive report from the British Transport and Road Research Laboratory which examined vehicle behavior for a large variety of bump geometries…large variety of bump geometries.  At the time, speed humps were not permitted on public roads but had been installed on private ones. Then, according to a publication by The Institute of Transport Engineers, the first speedbump in Europe was built in 1970 in the Netherlands.  Now, the Wikipedia article covers some different things; speedbumps, also known as a sleeping policeman in British English, Maltese English and Caribbean English, judder bar in New Zealand. Lying down is a bump in the roadway from heights from 76 to 102 millimeters.  For those of us in the US, that’s three to four inches. Traverse distance of the speedbump is typically less than .30 meters, one foot, contrasting with speed [00:30:00] humps which are wider and have a traverse distance of 3 to 4.3 meters which is ten to fourteen feet.

 

Now, they vary in length but it’s typical to have space between the bump and the edge of an enclosed road, or curbs, your gutters, to allow for drainage and maybe space on either side for vehicles that officially are in a hurry for good reason.  Now, there are disadvantages, according to Wikipedia. Modesto, California put out a fax sheet with the following disadvantages: slowing down officially…vehicles official in a hurry, may make people go on other streets that might be residential, possibly noisy for people that live adjacent to the bumps.  The English town of Eastleigh says vehicles, they could mess them up, noisy. What about trucks? Required signs, lighting, and lines may be visually intrusive, can cause discomfort for drivers and passengers. What about buses? That’s a good point. I would say slow down. My opinion…other sources say they can be distracting, they can use up more fuel per mile, they’re a compromise.  Why can’t you do more actively?

 

That thumping and revving…let’s see what else.  Sweden said yeah, the bus drivers don’t like it and they would rather avoid those streets.  The maximum acceptable speed is ten kilometers an hour on one street for drivers encountering 150 humps in a day.  Yeah, there’s more about it, but I want to move on. This one sounds interesting; dynamic speedbumps. Those differ from conventional speedbumps.  Huh, and they only activate if a vehicle is going above a certain speed. Traveling below the speed, you’ll never even feel it. How do they work? The Actibump system, the old Actibump system is used in Sweden; powered equipment integrated into the road surface.  Wow. Operates a platform lowered a few centimeters below the surface. Oh, the platform is lowered when a vehicle approaches. Any vehicle that’s going under the speed limit will pass and I guess if you’re not, then it gets in your way. Smart Bumps; would you prefer Actibump or Smart Bump?

 

I’d say well, I actually use both.  That’s why I have such a glowing look, because I know I’m driving at a reasonable pace.  The Smart Bump system is successfully used in several places using a mechanical speedbump built in the road that raises only for speeding vehicles.  Slow drivers within the speed limit don’t even notice it. The system measures them using sensors. Actibump uses radar. Another design; rubber housing is a pressure-relief valve that determines the speed of the vehicle.  Valve opens and the bump deflates, I guess if you’re going at the set speed, but it remains closed if you’re going too fast. If you’re officially in a hurry, they can make adjustments for that. The use of intelligent speedbumps; I guess these would be digital speedbumps on some…it could be…what is that?  Not digital…what’s the other word? I don’t know, but they could run on that other thing. What’s the non-digital one called? But I don’t know.

 

But it doesn’t just benefit drivers; it also reduces the side-effects of traditional speedbumps.  Also benefits the makers of digital speedbumps. Now, what about a speed hump? You might have heard of the greatest hero ever to carry water and equipment, or he may have been called a speed hump by someone that didn’t actually know.  You’d say whoa boy, got you there. You say what do you mean? You mean I…I don’t understand. Is that supposed to be insulting, calling me a speed hump? That’s one of the greatest heroes that never got attention even though they were really useful.  But yeah, the speed hump, road hump undulation or speed ramp is a rounded traffic-calming device used to reduce the vehicle’s speed and volume. Speed humps are placed across the road to slow traffic and also often installed in a series of humps to prevent cars from speeding before and after.  Oh, look at this; shapes can be parabolic, circular, and sinusoidal. Oh boy, sinusoidal.

 

Never even heard that word before.  It’s like a sine wave, S-I-N-E, sine wave or sinusoid; mathematical curve that describes a smooth periodic oscillation.  Isn’t that nice? We learned something. Sinusoidal, or maybe sinusoidal it’s pronounced, though. We’ve talked about their traversed distances of 3.7 and 4.3 meters.  They usually span the width of the road. The heights could be 76 to 102 millimeters. That’s three to four inches. Yeah, the traversed distance and height determines the speed.  Shorter traverse lengths and greater heights slow cars more drastically. When placed in a series, 110 to 107 meters apart, humps will reduce the 85th percentile speeds by 13 to 16 kilometers an hour.  You know, motorists should have warnings, they should have maximized visibility and a tapered edge near the curb for drainage. They’re used in locations where low speeds are desired and suitable. Residential roads; not main roads though or bus routes, generally in the middle of the block.

 

They limit vehicle speeds to about 15 to 20 miles an hour at the hump and 25 to 30 between humps.  Which day is hump day? Is that Wednesday? Every day is speed hump day, Wednesday. What else? 13% reduction, 18% reduction in traffic volume.  That’s probably not good; that means people are avoiding it. Here’s interesting; a comparison to speed humps, they’re less aggressive than speedbumps at low speeds.  Humps are often used on streets. Say, who are you calling a hump? I’m a VDD, vehicle deflection device, or whatever that was, DVD. Oh, that’s digital video disk. The narrow-traversed distance of speed humps often allows vehicles to pass over them depending on if they have a good suspension or not, better speeds, but the long slopes of speed humps are less…they create a greater vertical deflection at high speeds.  Now, they do have problems. If you’re officially in a hurry, they slow you down, so you can’t have them everywhere.

 

On primary official routes, use a speed cushion or something else.  Maybe an increase in traffic noise, especially from braking and acceleration.  Snowplows can bump ‘em and people in bigger vehicles, AKA Americans, they said they have to slow down too much.  Sometimes you put like, bicycle cuts in them or have them go a different route. Next up is speed cushions which is a different type of hump.  They tried to get rid of the negative impacts on official vehicle times. Speed cushions are small humps installed across the width of the road with spaces in between them.  Normal cars slow down but vehicles with wider actions…wider axels can go right over them. But some official vehicles that are in Sprinter Vans, they still have to slow down ‘cause their axels aren’t wide enough.  They have several distinct advantages over traffic-calming devices ‘cause many people said that we got to…we’re in a hurry. Also, buses, these are better for buses.

 

It’s ‘cause sometimes the buses will get stuck, you know?  They’re less costly. [00:40:00] Most cities say they’re just as effective.  Let’s see, use in Northern America and Europe; speed cushions have been focused primarily in Europe.  Consumer vehicles in Europe are smaller than in America and they better…they’re better suited for those.  They have a narrower track or width. But, you know, in North America they got their vehicles big, so it might not be as suitable.  I don’t even know what a speed table is. It’s a flat-top hump or raised pedestrian crossing just like the first speedbump in Chatham, New Jersey, I think.  Speed tables are generally long enough for the entire wheel base of a vehicle to rest on top. That allows cars to pass without slowing as significantly. But they slow cars less so they’re often used on roads with residential speed limits.  A lot of times they’re designed as pedestrian crossings; AKA zebra crossings. Or in Australia, wombat crossing.

 

Or they may be at junctions, mini roundabouts.  A typical speed’s 32 to 40 kilometers an hour. It looks like they did help.  They’re effective at calming traffic where the speed limit needs to be maintained rather than slowing down cars significantly.  They have been shown to work although not as responsive to vehicles officially in a hurry. Like speed cushions, they do cause less of a delay than humps and are preferred by official vehicles.  In the UK the purpose of traffic-calming; road humps, round-top ones, speed tables, speed cushions, and then rumble strips, those are used more in rural areas or retail parks ‘cause of the noise.  Let’s see, in some places, they’re against them so they say get rid of that. We’re in a hurry. There’s two sides to every story. Let’s look at prices. This is at reliance-foundry.com. Oh no, this is an article; Reliance Foundry: Making Places People Want to Be.  This is an article about humps versus bumps. It was published in November 16th, 2017.

 

They say hey, try and figure out how to slow people down.  You got humps which are also called undulations or speed humps, road humps, used for ten to fifteen mile an hour speed zones where local streets or connected roads where traffic needs to flow smoothly but you don’t want people going fast.  Speed hump often creates a gentle rocking sensation in a car passing over it. A different [inaudible] and now bumps are aggressive traffic-calming, more aggressive. They say where pedestrians and cars share space closely; parking lots, driveways.  They can reduce traffic up to two to ten miles an hour, two to four inches high. Most of this is about the same. Let’s try to find the pricing. I think I did some research here. This is at the trafficsafetystore.com. They’ve been delivering safety fast, ironically enough, since 2002.  On this page, it says today, speedbumps are not what they used to be ‘cause they have molded ones.

 

Let’s look at speed humps first ‘cause they seem a little bit…oh wait, sorry.  I should have read more there. I didn’t see this; it said thanks to advancements in recycling, they can use used tires or recycled milk jugs and make them into a solid speedbump that outlasts asphalt, less noise, no painting, easy install, and you get lead credit.  They talk about official vehicles; you could do a split hump, a speed cushion, right sized speed hump for cyclists, but for people with other types of mobility, you also have to think about that. You could also put in a split speedbump. These are good in parking lots.  Now, you might be trying to decide between rubber and plastic. I say what’s the difference? Well, with recycled plastic or recycled rubber, both are highly durable and provide the exact same calming benefits. A few differences, though; recycled rubber, it contains cat-eye reflectors for maximum visibility at night, excellent performance in heat, won’t curl or misshape, and you get heavy-duty versions.

 

Plastic has a lifetime anti-breakage guarantee, it’s a high-visibility yellow for daytime, excellent performance in the extreme cold, and economical and lightweight, so yeah, let’s start to look at pricing on speed humps, for starters.  Now, there’s a sale on a couple of these. First, we’ll have the heavy-duty rubber speed hump middle section. Those ones are, if you’re just buying one, $100. Now, that’s the middle section. Now, the end kit which is the other two pieces, is $142 for the kit.  So, you’re talking about $250 for a speed hump because the middle sections are sold. But they also have a sale; that’s for the heavy-duty one. For the rubber hump that’s on sale currently for $80.75 and could ship tomorrow, comes with free mounting hardware, six fasteners.  That’s $80.75 plus. Also on sale are the end kits for $111.95. So, about $200 you’re looking at for a rubber speed hump, the kit. Looks pretty nice. What about speedbumps? They do have a variety of ones available.

 

They have recycled rubber, six-inch recycled rubber.  That one is $136.95. They have a four-inch rubber, twelve inches wide, 2.2 inches tall.  That’s $108.25. They also have a heavy-duty rubber speedbump on sale; six inches going for $128.50.  Then, some end caps for your speedbumps for that finished, professional look, are on sale for $19.45. I think that’s just one.  Those are the twelve-inch. There’s also other ones. Oh, that’s hardware which is comes with. You can get galvanized steel, lag and anchor for concrete or asphalt, concrete bolts or galvanized steel for gravel or dirt.  Those are interesting. I wonder what else they sell over here. Let’s just take a look; traffic cones, vests, parking stops, loop delineators, Jersey barriers, signs, parking helpers. How much does this jersey barrier go for?  You know, I don’t have a podcast about jersey barriers but jersey-style barriers are 42 inches tall, 72 inches long, 24 inches wide, and you fill them with water. It will weigh 1,655 pounds when filled with water.

 

They’re about $310 and right now, they’re 15% off.  Just in case you want a loop delineator, who wouldn’t?  I say, I got some loops to…a loop or tubes. They come in orange, yellow, green, white, black, and light blue.  They’re only about $13 for an eight-pound base weight with no reflective collar. If you want reflective collars, that’ll bump the price up to $16.75.  Custom lettering, double-sided, let’s see how much that affects the price. That gets you up [00:50:00] to $20.25. That’s another option. That’s the pricing.  I guess I would like to read more about some other traffic-calming measures. Just because what I’m a fan of doesn’t make everything…you know, doesn’t mean everything.  Traffic calming is using things to slow things down for pedestrians and cyclists, and also people that are just going too darn fast. This has been a development since the 1930s with the idea hey, let’s make it calm, right?  Especially for through-traffic, and it also reduces noise and things in the air.

 

For a lot of the 1900s, they were interested in making things as going as fast but then there was a livable street study by Donald Appleyard in 1981.  Traffic engineers talk about three Es of traffic-calming; engineering, education, enforcement. They also call it yeah, calming. They say jeez, making you pay more attention is one part of the engineering.  Say slow it down or make you stop for a second, like bus bulbs which are great, and making a little bit…it doesn’t always have to be comfortable for people in a hurry. There’s also curb extensions, living streets, shared space.  Hilden in Germany has a rate of 24% of trips being on two wheels due to their traffic-calming and 20 mile per hour zones. In 1999, Netherlands head over 6,000 woonerven where cyclists and pedestrians got top priority and everybody said you could go with the walking speed even if you’re on four wheels.

 

Some people say you know what?  Everybody has a different view and we’re all trying to do our best and sometimes it can stir a lot up.  But they try to make visual changes to make people pay more attention, slow it down. As we talked about, cushions, tables, and humps.  What else do we have? Narrowing of lanes, curb extensions, bulb-outs, road diets, taking a lane off of the road, pedestrian refuge, small islands in the middle of the street reducing the width, converting one-way streets to two-way to get people to slow down.  Dips instead of bumps; they use those in the Netherlands, or double-dips in cycle ways, changing the material or texture, going from brick or to cobbler’s stone or polymer cement overlay. Rumble strips, chicanes, C-H-I-C-A-N-E-S, chicanes? Horizontal deflection that causes vehicles to slow down just like if they were turning.  Berkeley has a lot where it’s like, you can’t go…there’s not a lot of through-streets. They say hey, just take the main road.

 

I’ll try to go on a side street and save time.  Europe’s been successful; they have living streets, home zones, or woonerfs in Dutch.  Yeah, like I said, there’s been a lot of cities where they said pedestrians come first.  Right where we are, there’s been a lot of things going forth, in Oakland and San Francisco and Alameda, with bulb-outs and bollards, and bicycle lanes, rumble strips we’ve seen even.  In Japan, they’re also working on it. Cochrane Review Studies said they’ve been demonstrating the efficacy of calming measures. In this one, there’s a lot of nice pictures of median islands, curb extensions, diverters, cushions, and more.  That’s interesting, too. Now, all this discussion, as I said, did remind me of the song The Humpty Dance which a lot of you may have not heard. It’s a song from 1990, so is that thirty years ago? Wow; January 20th, 1990. Is that thirty years?  I guess so. It’s a song by the Digital Underground. It did get to eleven on the pop charts and number seven on the R&B charts, and number one on billboard rap singles chart.

 

It’s sung by Shock G’s alter ego, Humpty Hump, and the second musical appearance.  The first was Do What You Like. The song’s been sampled by many artists and producers and in the video, young Tupac is visible in the background.  In 2008 it was ranked as number thirty on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop and number sixty-five on 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s. I mean, I think it’s a song you could think about…what was life like at the end of the 80s and the beginning of the 90s?  If you watch the video, you’d say hm, what’s going on with those people? The composition of the song, this is all from Wikipedia, by the way, is a drum track, a sample from Sing A Simple Song by Sly and the Family Song in the form of a one-measure long drum…Sly and the Family Stone, and a one-measure drum loop.  Then, there’s a deep, tonal kick drum, two bass notes, and a hand-clap snare, a sample from Theme from the Black Hole from Parliament.

 

There’s drum machine high hats running continuously throughout, programmed eighth notes, a guitar hit happening once every bar, all in a familiar pattern that goes along with that thing.  The vocal sample is also…the chorus is from Parliament’s Let’s Play House from their 1980 album. It’s kind of like a comedy; the video is a comedy song. But it’s also a kind of a protest against uniformity.  May a bit problematic, this song, as well, but the line is I’m about to ruin the image and the style that you’re used to. But there’s also The Humpty Dance which is a loose, easy dance and anyone can do it, versus precision dances like the ones as a contrast to MC Hammer.  The song ends with an invitation to people of all races to join in the dance. The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the humpt, I think it is how it goes. Second single by this alter ego Humpty Hump who wears Groucho glasses, very colorful clothes, even had a fictional autobiography, so that’s fun.

 

Again, it was…yeah, Weird Al covered the song, Polka Your Eyes Out.  It was in the movie…one of the Charlie’s Angels Reboots. That was in Weird Al’s album from 1992 which is also in the karaoke video game Get on the Mic.  The song was sampled by Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon, also by the Spice Girls. According to this, The Humpty Dance is one of the most sampled songs recorded by hip hop artists, boasting a hundred uses in other songs.  By 1993, less than three years after its release, it had already been sampled in [01:00:00] twenty songs using their drum track. Yeah, they gave out The Humpty Dance awards. More artists have sampled it; WC and the Maad Circle, Cam, Paris, Redman, Will Smith, Tech N9ne, Public Enemy, Sade.  Who else do we wanna…? Just trying to think anybody else. After you have Sade…oh, TLC, LL Cool J, Spice Girls, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Ice Cube, TLC again, let’s see who else we have. Ice Cube, Jay-Z, Oaktown’s 357, Heavy D, Shaquille O’Neil even.

 

Wow, interesting.  I guess that’s probably a good way to close it out, is just like thinking about The Humpty Dance in some sense, is a dance we could all do when we slow it down and just enjoy ourselves.  Thanks for having me on, Scooter. I may have just ended my entire podcast in just one episode but I’m proud to do it. Goodnight. This has been Speedbump Notes, things interesting to speedbump enthusiasts, about speedbumps.  Goodnight.

 

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