811 – A Girl From Arizona Pt 1 | Good Place to Sleep S4 E1

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Friends Beyond Binary, and my Patron peeps, I hope that I'll be not a C-O-U-G-H drop, but I'll be … How come they say [inaudible 00:00:17]. It's not soothing listening to me say mentholyptus, but how come they say [inaudible 00:00:23]? None of that was on purpose Patrons, but thanks for supporting my jumbles. My word jumbles, my word bumbles, made possible by you, and let's get on with the show. 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do a bedtime story. All's you need to do is get in bed and turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. And what I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, things you're thinking about, things on your mind, something, past, present, future, or all of them, which is normal for me to have that. 

So thoughts, physical sensations, anything physical coming up for you or your feelings. Any emotions, even if they're… This is not a tangent I thought I'd go on this early, but I was going to say, even if it's a low-grade emotion, you just can sense it. But then I was thinking of other things that people say are low-grade, and I said, “Did that ever… Does that ever…” They say, “Who you calling low-grade, man? Just because I'm just .2 degrees above normal… I'm trying to talk about it without talking about that, but it really… What's a low-grade emotion?

We'll return to this. You're right, you're right. Yeah. So, what I'm going to try to do is create a safe place where you can set aside, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. Yeah, whatever's keeping you awake, I'd like to take your mind off of that. What I'm going to do is to have this safe place set aside here, carved out, built, constructed, organic, there's parts that are organic. There's parts that are 100% free-form. 

Holy moly. If I showed you the new free-form section of the safe place I have here. Oh, you're interested in imaginary safe place. Oh, boy, do I… Oh, boy. You really have good taste. I do have plenty of imaginary. In some sense it could create a real sense though. That's my goal. So I was trying to create a safe place by sending my voice across a deep, dark night using lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. Creaky and dulcet, which is not for everybody, so just see how it goes, if you're new. 

What was I going to talk about? I already forgot. Seriously, didn't I just interview somebody or something, like… and I said, “Oh, I'll come back to that.” Oh, low-grade. Thank you. So I'm going to send my voice through a lulling, soothing creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders. You just got a couple of those. Superfluous tangents. Just ahs, ums, holy cow. Filler words. 

I take the filler words, I put them in one of those… I pipe in the filler words via old pipe organ and one of those pastry pipe or whatever they call that, that a baker has. Oh, no, and pipettes. I don't know what that is, but yeah. I have one of those big poofy things you'd see a pastry chef or a dessert chef or a baker. Oh, yeah, just like a cream puff. I have that with piped in music. But in this case, it's… What did I say I was piping in? Creaky, dulcet… Oh, pointless meanders, all those things.

Oh, filler words. Yeah. Sorry. I'm so full of filler words. I've been eating my own filler. It's tough to make these puffs full of… Puff them up full of filler words and have a little taste, especially when I'm piping in extra filler words over what once was pipe organs. Also pneumatic tubes constantly delivering me extra filler words. 

If you could see me, I don't know, it's probably been seen in a movie before, maybe Brazil, I don't know. Where there's a person in a small cubicle-like thing, full of pneumatic tubes, and they're just reaching in. That's where I get some of my filler words, that say, oh, boy. That just popped in. Osh Kosh B'gosh, just came up through this other one. 

Okay. So I'm going to use some filler words. I already forgot what I was supposed to go… Oh, low-grade, okay. I'm trying to remember to add… So I could give low-grade the due it deserves finally. I mean, low-grade just told me, if there was a degree of difficult… There wouldn't be a degree of difficulty without low grade. Am I right or am I right? So, okay. Where was I? So if you're new, welcome. Nonsense is already started. This podcast is seriously strange and goofy. And here's a couple things to know, if you're new, I'm glad you're here, and I hope I can take your mind off stuff and help you fall asleep. Like I said, it doesn't work for everybody, but see how it goes.

This podcast is best consumed with a vacant stare, I guess you would say. How is this best consumed, Scoots? Can you think of another metaphor? And I'd say, “Yeah, like a vacant stare.” You say, “Huh?” Well, maybe your jaw is not… Maybe your jaw is just a little bit… You're hanging your jaw a little. You got a vacant stare and ideally you're getting comfortable, and you're saying, “I'm not exactly sure what this person is talking about or if they're making any sense or if they even know the proper usage of low-grade other than… Yeah, hardy har har descriptor of the…” Low-grade comedy. [inaudible 00:06:47]. That's what we have here. You'd say, “Okay, where's zero on the comedy scale?” 

Okay. Now, just get out the most sensitive oscilloscope you have, in this case it's a silly scope, of course. But, okay, Scoots is just… Oh, no. Go get the one from Bern, Switzerland, because that's more sensitive. Also, I prefer oscilloscopes that use a metric system, not whatever that is, knee chuckles or hardy hars… Oh, that is the one from Bern. Oh, okay. So Scoots is .000001 har. He hasn't even gotten to a hardy har. He's just at a … Okay. Yeah, that's probably… That's a low-grade humor then. Oh, it falls out of standard deviation. Oh, bummer. 

Anyway, so if you're new, just maybe massively consume this podcast. It's here to keep you company as you drift off. Now, structurally what to expect, even though we're partially into the structure, show starts off with a few minutes of business. That's how we keep the podcast free for everybody. It's just the engaged listeners supporting the sponsors or supporting the show. So it's super cool that the most engaged people keep the podcast free for everybody. 

Then there's an intro. Now, the intro is about 12 to 18 minutes of me rambling. Barely registering on an oscilloscope, which doesn't exist. Oh, also, everybody at the Hague and in Bern, save your letters. I've got plenty of them. You've already sent me a few. You don't really need to rephrase it. That's great. I understand. I'm misusing everything. I get it. I just wanted to… Bern and the Hague to get your due for measurements and standardizations. Oh, okay. Yeah and for being referred to in ways that really don't… Yeah. Oh, boy. Can I relate to your destinations without actually… I realize that there are other destinations. 

I'm not made like Swiss watch, what can I say? Yeah, I barely make… You saw it. You just ran me through an oscilloscope, and I barely even registered a har. Okay. Let me get back. Excuse me, representatives. Okay. So, okay. What was I saying? Oh, the intro. So there's an intro to the show that just goes on, and on, and on, and the idea behind it is that it eases you into bedtime. So small percentage of listeners just skip ahead to 20, 18 to 20 minutes and listen there. And then the rest of the listeners they just figure what works for them. Some people are listening as they're getting ready for bed. Some people get into bed and ease into bedtime. No, I've been trying to foam roll and… No, not making this about me, but I don't listen to the podcast, but if I did, maybe I'd do it while I was foam rolling. That was an unnecessary tangent, but just an idea. So different ways you can use the show. 

So this intro, it's 18 minutes of me just rambling and explaining what the podcast is to help you get ready for bed, and some people fall asleep during it. So that's the intro. Then we'll have a bedtime story. Tonight it will be like a TV-recap style episode, but it will be very meander-filled and so many details that you won't really… Don't worry, that's what I'm saying. And then there will be some thank yous at the end. So that's the structure of the show. This is a podcast you really don't need to listen to. I think you figured that out. If you say, okay, low grade, I'm… As far as I'm making sense. I wouldn't say low-grade sensibility, because that definitely sounds like it means something else. But comprehensibility, I'd say low grade. 

So this is a podcast you don't really need to listen to. The other thing is you don't need to fall… no pressure to fall asleep. You can fall asleep. That's why I'm here. But if you can't, I'm here to keep you company to the very end or all night with episode, after episode, after episode, if you need it. So that's how the structure of the show, that kind of thing. You don't need to listen. No pressure to fall asleep. I make the show because I believe you do deserve a good night's sleep. 

Just like with this intro, I believe the term low grade deserves… You say, “Okay.” Maybe I'm the only one that was… Maybe this is like a case of me projecting onto me. Maybe I'm the only one that says low grade in a disdainful way. Actually, that's not true. I would hear it in a disdainful way, because I wouldn't want to go school. So that would be a word for me when they'd say low grade, I'd say, “No, no, no, no. Please don't say low grade. That means I probably have to go to school.”

But here's the thing, If you're running, and you're dealing with a low grade, that's good news. I mean, not as something being flat, but it means, oh, that's kind of really… I'm not even kidding, I just realized this. My whole story of my life is low grade. This is another word we're going to use soft power to take back. Maybe one day I'll get a T-shirt that says… I don't know if it will say hashtag low-grade living, but really, my progress in life has been not always been progress. But when you look at it over at a course thus far, it's low grade, and I say, “Well, making low-grade progress,” because I don't have the ability to run up, to do any hill grade, your mountain grade progress. It's just not my style. Low-grade living.

Was that a song by… Who was the dad in that movie about, that I can't say the name of? Hoyt Atkins. Was he a country singer? Is that a real person? Did he ever have a country song, Low Grade Living and Celebrating? Let's celebrate low-grade living. Also, spoiler alert: I had very low grades when I was in school. I tell my daughter that… I think this started in middle school or high school, that they changed the grading at some point because they said, “Well, we're not going to give kids any grades below 50 out of 100 anymore.” I don't know if it was just because of me, because I was consecutively in a couple subjects scoring less than 50 and that does not look good on a report card.

You'd say, “Well, that's a low-grade report card.” I'm only laughing now because it was just such truth buried in this… When you're a kid you don't realize how wonderful it is, but when you're an adult you say, “Man, if I would have known then that my low grades were just the start of low-grade living,” which one day I would view as positive, slow and steady progress. 

Okay. Somebody you've blocked… Some part of my brain that's more comprehensible just told me, “Yeah, that's a fancier way of saying it, but I like low-grade living.” One, I guess slow and steady and low-grade living they have a nice singsong quality to them. Slow and steady, low-grade living. Mostly I say living. So you say, “Oh, yeah, you've got a feel for it, man.” Anyway, I don't even know where I was but I just wanted you to know that if you're out there trying to get to bed, and you just happened to be the term low grade, I love you, man. And if you feel low grade at all, I love you. Really. I mean, this is why I make the show. I mean, that's real joy in my voice thinking about something that you might say, “Well, that might not have been so great at the time,” but really, it made me the person I am today. Who would have known?

And also to note, yeah, sometimes we'll have some good, positive… We do climb hills. Don't worry. But most of my living is low grade. And I think if I could keep that way… If I could keep it that. I mean, that's how you keep putting podcasts out anyway. That one is slow and steady. I would like to know… That's the rabbit and the hare, whatever, the tortoise and the hare. The rabbit and the hare. That's funny, too. So I'm here to help. If you're new, this might… This is kind of pretty much what… This was a little more intimate than a normal intro, but not by much. So I'm glad you're here. As I said, you do deserve a good night's sleep, and if I can help in any way, it would be my honor. If I could help get you some rest, so you could get back to that low-grade living tomorrow, because when you can't sleep sometimes it doesn't feel that way, or you feel like that… 

The way I used to use low grade. Just hours ago, I guess I'll be honest, I was using it as a pejorative term just about the things I was referring to, like low-grade cardboard maybe. I don't know if I've said that, but probably maybe I have. But not anymore. I'll be holding it above my head, running out in the street shirtless saying, “This is low-grade thingamajig. Hooray.”  Oh, look at this T-shirt falling apart on me that says… It used to say low-grade living, but it… That would be different than low grade. Anyway, I hope I can provide you high-quality lulls and distractions but at a slow and steady rate. I'm glad you're here. I work very hard. I yearn, and I strive, and I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here's a couple ways to keep this podcast free for everybody.

All right, everybody. Welcome back to a Good Place to Sleep or the Good Place to Sleep or Good Place coverage. And for those of us that are casual viewers, this will be our last season. But for Sleep With Me will eventually we'll cover Season Two, which we never did cover of The Good Place, but I wouldn't say it's a bittersweet feeling yet. Bitter sweat, the old bitter sweat. I wouldn't say it's bittersweet or that I have bitter sweat, because who… Okay, who's tasted their own sweat? So because we still have plenty episodes, and we're still in the anticipatory return to our relationship and what's going to happen with these characters and our love for them over the next whatever, 12 to 14 or so episodes. So I think usually it's 12 or 13, though I think this is supposed to be two-part episode spread over two weeks, which is a little different than sometimes they do… Two episodes in a row. So we'll see. I mean, I'm feeling good.

Tonight we'll be covering… So, okay. So just in case you're listening, and you're wondering about our Good Place coverage this season, and I'm always open to feedback from listeners, so I did learn from last Good Place season and the GOT season, that it is better to spread the TV recap episodes out in the regular… Instead of doing every week, that's a little bit too much for some listeners. So it will be every third episode will be a Good Place recap during the fall half of the season and then during the spring half of the season or the winter half of the season. So it basically means that every third episode will be Good Place coverage, and some of those will end up falling on like two episodes, where we cover two episodes, and some will cover one. And then tonight we may cover the webisodes depending on our time. But it's good to be back.

Of course, you can't say anymore than it is good to be back. I guess back in the Good Place. So this is Episode One. It's called A Girl From Arizona, Part One. And it opens with a recap, then I'm going to start watching now once I figure out how to turn my volume off and how to press play here. So it opens previously on The Good Place. When I'm watching it on mute, we have Michael and Janet on a couch. They're at Mindy St. Clair's. Michael's playing with his ear. A judge is talking. Derek and Jason in The Good Place, a lemon in a glass. Shawn. Michael standing up in his office. Shawn and Michael. Michael on the floor. John, one of our new residents. Eleanor in a rainbow shirt. John and Tahani, Simone, Chidi. Chidi and Eleanor. Chidi arriving at The Good Place. 

Oh, and Eleanor has the same shirt on, FYI. So holy… What do they call that job that somebody has to keep an eye on that? Oh, no, she's in a rainbow shirt. Oh, no, now she's welcoming Chidi. She's in a striped button down shirt, like, I don't know. Are all button down shirts oxfords or only the ones… But she's in a nice striped, like kind of a maroon. A very, I'd say like a business casual type button down, short-sleeved shirt. Very good for the weather in the Good Place, which seems to be a Mediterranean climate or Los Angelean climate.  Well, where was I? Oh, okay. So that was on mute. Let me see what I wrote down when I was actually listening. 

Recap: The judge goes over the rules with Janet Baby's Bad Place. Gets to pick the four new residents. Oh, Derek and Jason are standing in front of a Knish From a Rose, which was the name of the knish place. Another great… Such great writing. So there's one in this episode. Knish From a Rose I got right away, but there was one, it took me two, and a half watches to get the pun. And if you're a Good Place writer or watcher, you know which one I'm talking… Or maybe you don't. And I say, “Well, we saw Knish From a Rose would trip you and seal up,” and I'd say, “Well, maybe. You can't speak for Seal, but I could see Seal singing to me that over a… sharing a knish with Seal.” 

Okay. So then they talk about the stakes for this season. Michael's suit gets mentioned. John and Tahani, Simone and Chidi. Oh, this is when Chidi says, “You got to reboot me,” and then Eleanor says, “Hi, Chidi.” Then I put stars next to this because… So then it opens, the episode begins, and it's Eleanor's face talking. She's just really, really… Kristen Bell at her best, just listening to Chidi talk and her reacting and breathing and going through a series of emotions as Chidi's amazed at the Good Place, really says all… But it's like a Knish From a Rose. And then right within the first minute we saw that pun. But first Chidi says, “Wow, wow. So happy, wow. This place is perfect.” He likes how quaint it is. 

They're standing in front of Lasagna Come Out Tomorrow, which is a little easier to figure out when you say it out loud. But when you're reading it, I… Well, first of all, it says Lasagna and then come and out are a little bit smaller and then tomorrow. And then I, of course, for me, this is my job, so I say, “Okay, is that the new thing in this Good Place reboot is Everything is Lasagna?” You're going to have to pay attention to that, Scoot. I say, “Little Scoots, get over here.” He says, “Yeah, Boss. What do you need?” “I need you to keep an eye on lasagna restaurants and other lasagna-based puns.” “Okay. You got it, Boss. I'm on it.” “Okay. Lasagna Will Come Out Tomorrow, Boss.” And I say, “Oh, okay. Thanks. Keep an eye out for other ones, please.” “You know, Boss. I'm not sure this is all lasagna-themed.” “Oh, boy, really? Well, that's going to make… Then I'm going to have to find another assistant for the other stores and restaurants.”

Yeah. Well, okay. So then. Okay, sorry. I got to get back to the episode. So where was I? Okay. So as I say 100% perfect, new home, flavor. What does that say? Flavor Crown Town, Books. Oh, floor to ceiling books. So Eleanor, she also… Eleanor has a clipboard. I forgot to put that in my notes. I think that is important to me. But they go to Chidi's home, and he has floor to ceiling books, a library. Kind of a cheap Picasso or cheap-looking Picasso painting over the hearth or hearth. And then books and reading lights. “Love these. They're so good for reading.” That was one of the jokes I actually quote. I don't like quoting all the good jokes. 

Okay. So good for reading. Weak Picasso style above the fireplace. Chidi gets a book, it's Thor's Hammer. It's the Critique of Reason by Emanuel Kant. Also, there's a coffee nook in the background. I think it's to the left or drink nook, even though it's a library and there's no sink. That's what I always wonder about these drink nooks that are in a room without proper plumbing. But I guess, in the Good Place it doesn't make a difference. So there's a coffee… What is it? A French press, which is what I use. Not to compare myself with the Good Place or Chidi, but… There's also those, like a big jar or cup with sticks in it, and I said, “Are those the sticks you put into a liquid, and they're supposed to smell good?” For a while I forgot their name and then my brain just said, infusion sticks? And I said, No, but they're called diffusion or diffuser sticks or something. You may know it. It's a smelling sticks, question mark, which are probably a different thing. Or it could be pasta, which would make even less sense.

Number One Dray. I don't know what that means, so maybe go back here. Number One Dray. Oh, I think that's Chidi's Number One Dream was to be able to get a book like Thor's Hammer and he says… Eleanor says, “Welcome to the Good Place.” And then Chidi says, “You know what? I forgot your name in all of this.” And, again, really Kristen Bell at top form because she says, “Eleanor.” He goes, “Oh, I'll never forget that.” And she goes, “You might.” It was just a great awkward moment. Then it inadvertent awkwardness from me because she walks right into the Good Place. You know the main office, Michael's office. She's walking out of the room with Chidi. But I guess it's because it exists in the non… different time space continuum, this would be possible because Tahani's there. Her hand's on her chest. Jason, Michael. 

Let me see. I don't know if Janet's there, but everyone's waiting for her, feeling… They know that she's in love… Well, they used to both be in love with one another, but now it's more of a one-way thing. And she has a little bit of a frown. Oh, Janet is there. Her hands are clasped with a look concern. Michael's hands are in his pockets. Everyone goes. Tahani gives her a big hug. Jason joins the hug. Michael says, “Oof. I mean, cool. Foof,” or something. He's wearing a gray jacket, like a plaid jacket, like a subtle gray plaid, I believe. Like a navy to slate pocket square, and then his tie has a black or navy background with a different blue and pinkish flowers or polka dots or something or another type of print. Oh, no, turquoise. I don't know if it's more of like… I don't know. Tough to describe the color pink with my limited… No, I guess hot pink. Hot pink and turquoise pocket square with flowers, question mark.

Next resident's on their way in six minutes. Michael makes a speech, which it feels something to something. He says, “Jeez, this is really…” He really tries to make this big speech to get everyone pumped up or inspired. Incredibly inspired. Destined for success. I think maybe he says… After someone says, “Oh, jeez, I feel…” Or I guess or “I realize everyone feels D-O-O-M-E-D and destined for not good, but I think we're destined for success.” But then they do this parallel thing with Shawn at the B-A-D Place, whose in a conference room. And he goes, “Jeez, I'm so proud of all of you. All of you Bad Place workers, S to the U to the C to the K.” 

And then Michael goes back, “Let's look at our team here. Tahani: smart, sophisticated. Told me to get rid of my goatee.” Then we go back to Shawn. He points out Bombajon and Val, you're two great workers that were in the webisodes. Or I don't know if that's the word they call them anymore, bonus digital content. Then he says, “Janet, you could do everything.” She made all the people… She goes, “Oh, they're not people like all the residents of the Good Place.” He goes, “Me. I had a set back. Set backs are set up for a come back,” a while ago. Then some classic humor with Jason, because he says, “Jason, who can…” Then he goes, “Our fearless leader, the pride of Phoenix, Arizona,” and he points out Eleanor. Who says, “Actually at the statue of Alice Cooper's, the pride of Arizona with his team, who could… I'd like to thank and then something about the Bad Place.” Believe it or not this show's already in front of me somehow, but… Oh, they sing the 187… Then they go to the Bad Place, they say, “Let's sing our special song. 1-877… A song you hear on a lot of sports shows on radio, so I don't want to get that caught in your head.

Then there's a green, the Good Place Chapter 40. So a Chapter 40. Forty episodes, and then we have Eleanor in a… Now she's going from cash to full… She's in a suit and Michael says, “Jeez, you look professional.” Serious. It's something… Serious team leader. And she does like an Angie Harmon… She pretends she's on one of those shows with the dun-dun, and she said, “I've never seen it,” but it was really funny. And first new resident we get to meet here is Linda, who's in lavender. I don't know if it's a cardigan, because I don't know what a cardigan… I know a cardigan is a sweater, but I don't know what sweater is cardigan. But I think that it's a cardigan, but I don't know. But it's lavender. It looks like a very comfy, and Linda's… So he says, “That's nice.” She's a bit like Scoots. She goes, “That's nice.” There's also no sand in the top of Eleanor's hourglass. 

It's not a figurative statement. That was actually something I observed. They say, “Jeez, Linda, what are you looking for… What do you want… She goes, “Is there a fitness center?” And they go, “There can be.” So Linda's priority is… Oh, just another sign. I paused it. Yogurt Acres. Yogurt Acres. Yogurt Acres. I don't know if I get the pun, but a few hours from now I will. When that pun brain gets back to me, wakes up from… They say, “Oh, sorry, Boss. I was out looking for the lasagna puns. Yogurt Acres. You don't get it, Boss?” I say, “No.” They say, “Don't worry. When we're walking the dog later you'll get it.” Okay. Where was I? Fitness center. They say, “Linda, this is a Good Place. This is paradise.” She goes, “That's nice. I like that.” And then they're in the Good Place Town Square. 

I wonder if Universal Studios is going to preserve this as the Good Place Town Square. I mean, I know it's a working studio, but it would be cool for a while to just have it… Imagine, 20 years from now they say, “Well, this used to be the European area, but then it became the Good Place.” Could you just cancel all the movies and TV shows you planned there for the next 20 years? It'd be great for me and my daughter and all the Good Place fans. Also, I'd just love to hang there before they undo it. 

I don't know if they're done finish shooting all the episodes of the… I don't know if they're done filming all the episodes to the Good Place or not. Okay. So they're in the Good Place touring with Linda. They say, “Who is she?” Then they say, “She's boring. More boring than neutral Janet.” Michael says, “But not as boring… but he mentions disco Janet, who was wild. And then they say, “Janet.” Then she says… Eleanor says, “Great idea. Janet, meet Linda. Linda, what do you want? Janet can do anything. For example, she could make a baby elephant of pure light that tells the secrets of the world.” And then a baby elephant made of pure light appears.

And Linda says, “Like a peppermint,” which at first I braced myself for some sort of genie type surprise. And then I said, well, what does she mean a peppermint? At first, I didn't even have any idea to be honest what a peppermint was, because it was too non-specific. I said, “Well, would you bring her a peppermint?” And luckily, Janet's all-knowing, but if I was in that position, I'd say… Well, I guess I would ask her, like a query. I'd say, “A peppermint plant or something peppermint flavored?” Do you want it to taste like actual peppermint, or the peppermint we're all familiar with? Or peppermint abstract? Peppermint patty, or did you want someone named… Do you want actual peppermint patty or a peppermint or what about a Junior Mint? Or something else? I don't know. Anyway, Linda, which of those? But Janet brings her a peppermint candy wrapped, which is very conscientious of Janet, because she could have brought it unwrapped in her palm.

Also, while this is paused, so they're in the Town Square at the moment I paused at, in front of Yogurt Acres, which has a outdoor café. And then to the left of it is an outdoor café where there's two people sharing drinks and talking. On the right side of the screen, there are two gentlemen talking. One is holding a soccer ball behind his back. And there's a lot of quality… What are those things called, parasols? What are those things? Umbrella, I know they call them, but there's a sky blue umbrellas and then a… It's not turquoise but some other color. I'm not sure. Let's see. So I got off track with all that background stuff, but Alice Cooper. Opening… Oh, no. I'm on the wrong page of my notes, that's why. 

Disco Janet, baby… Okay. So then they cut to commercial. That was actually a good place for me to get lost. Let's see, Janet waves. They introduce. They do the baby elephant made of perfect light who tells secrets of the universe. Then it goes to an ad. Then we meet… I guess I'll have to go on another tangent. So we meet Brent Norwalk from Norwalk Materials. He's wearing a Cool Max polo shirt. Khakis with a khaki-webbed belt. And Brent as we'd call him gently on the podcast, a ‘splainer. I mean, I think this… where I feel like this season is going is really…  Well, we'll see. I mean, sometimes I'm a bit of a Pollyanna and I get too excited. But I say, “Wow, could this show really in some compassionate, empathetic and humorous way try to bridge everything that's going on?” I'd like to say, “Okay, this is what we share. This…” I don't know. So I think I'm really… It makes me actually more excited about the season. I mean, I think it's a definite tight rope. Yeah, because it's hard enough for me to talk about it in a thing, but I think it… like say, “Hey, are we able to talk to one another because we're all humans again? And…” Or I don't know where things are going.

But Brent definitely represents… One style of communication and self-awareness. So it's a… kind of ‘splainers tend to represent, which is… So he blinks, he frowns, he smiles, and then Eleanor says, “Brent Norwalk.” And let's see. Did I already put S-U-C-K-S? No, something after Good Place. What does that mean? But he gets called into Eleanor's office, and I guess… Maybe they already said that… Oh, wait a second. They say… Oh, no socks. Brent doesn't have any socks on or has ankle socks with the khakis or something because he couldn't see. But he says, “Where am I anyway?” And they say, “Well, you're in the Good Place.” I noticed he touched his nose and I don't know. I think it was very revealing. Where is this… What is this place anyway? And they say, “Oh, you're in the Good Place.” He brushes the underside of his nose. I don't know if that was a tell or just fixated on it. I mean, if it was, either way, it's good acting, I guess.

He looks… He's big. Oh, “So Brent, you're in the materials business?” He goes, “Oh, yeah, big time.” And then he throws shade on steel. He ‘splains Eleanor about steel. He talks about vulcanized rubber. He goes, “Oh, there better be golf here.” Then they introduce him to Janet. She goes, “Let's ask Janet.” And he goes, “Oh, secretary.” She goes, “Not a secretary, dude.” “Oh, blah, blah, blah.” Then he goes off to Michael. He goes, “Oh, what about this vice president of helping, Captain Marvel.” And Michael really, even in a mature way says, “I'm not a part of this, so don't involve me, dude.” Which it was a gentle way of dealing with it. Then we're at Mindy's. We get Matt from accounting. We don't exactly remember, so I don't know if it's a recasting or Matt… maybe he was a character that I just… Sorry, Matt. I forgot about you, bud. But he's going to be monitoring everything.

Some great details to see in Mindy's place that I probably forgot about. One, is there a jukebox to the right of the front door or if you're looking in… You're in the room facing the front door to the left. They have that Billy Idol with the parrot painting. A lot of pink or coral coloring. Very clean. Mindy keeps a clean place. She keeps a tight… There's also this strange shell, really nice looking. I guess I wouldn't say strange. I'd say floor… It looks like it's part shell, part bird, like a sculpture on… It kind of does feel like a bit like a nicer place for someone. I mean, I can't believe how clean it is or uncluttered, I guess, would be the right word. Of course, Mindy would say, “Of course it's clean.” Let's see. So Matt, he says, “I'm going to monitor everything. I'm going to keep the point system. You won't be able to monitor it in real time.” He goes inside an obelisk that, then some red lights come on.

Yes, so that kind of obelisk. Yes, it is. Where some kind of red lights go on to I guess monitor things. And then they say, “Well, this…” Eleanor says, “Well, this is only the first week, so we can just figure this out.” She also says, “We'll figure out what the fork is up with these benches.” She has an emoji whiteboard with a thinking emoji and then a birthday partying emoji with one of those blowing things. So what's the deal in party time? They put Simone in that and then even Michael says, “We could do this.” And then he says like a Bad Place quote about hearts and eyes, can't lose. And he says, “Oops.” Then we go to a scene with Derek and Jason are at, like overlooking a garden. So I say, “Where in LA…” Did they shoot this in LA too? Which garden in LA is this? They've shot all their scenes here. And Janet's there. Or it's just Derek, Janet, and, yeah, and Jason says… Oh, no, Jason calls Janet because he says, “You're not supposed to be here,” kind of tattles on Derek who's looking. He's got a martini glass full of mini pickles, like cocktail pickles.

He goes, “Proud Daddy Derek, just looking at my… Because I helped Janet create these things.” And Jason goes, “You didn't do anything except make their butts probably.” And he goes, “Yeah, I did make those butts.” Then Janet goes, “You got to hit the road because we don't want anybody asking who the weirdo in the tux is.” And Jason is not happy about this, plus Derek gives her a big, long hug. Then we go to Town Square again for the orientation video with Michael. Very similar but Michael also is having a side conversation with Janet and Eleanor, saying, “Okay. Our job here is to point out… The job of the video is you point them out so they can recognize the kind of people they were on Earth.” And he goes, “The important thing is to watch how they react while they watch the video.” It's a video about the point system and how many points it took to get… So that they realize they don't qualify. 

Brent, he kind of is not paying attention. He blows out John. John seems interested. He's got a funny but interested look on his face. Linda, let me see what Linda's look is. Yeah, she seems curious. She's watching. And then Simone is goofing around. She's acting a little wild. They say, “Oh, boy.” Also, on the board it says, “Eating a sandwich plus 1.04 points. Cheating at golf, negative 12.44, Brent. Helping a sad friend, it was on the side, plus 3 point something. Insulting someone's hairstyle is negative 8.35.” And then Eleanor says, “Simone, you okay?” And she goes, “Well, none of this is real.” And Eleanor says, “What do you mean?” She goes, “Well, this a hallucination. I'm just going to wait till I wake up from this. This is like a dream, but a little different. See you later.” 

Also, I think Eleanor said, “There's a popcorn river.” John likes her, likes Simone's attitude. He's amused by it. And she goes to Janet, she goes, “Just keep going with the orientation.” Or, “Well, I'll get popcorn out of the popcorn river later.” Let's see. Then we're at Mindy's. Simone's back and the other thinking emoji side. Janet gives this warning that she's overtaxed. She has too many things. It's taking all her processing to manage everything. Jason's eating popcorn out of a bucket. I think I tried to read what it said, but I couldn't read it. It says something… I think the River of Popcorn's on the bucket. I'll see if there's any closeups here while I'm going through here. Really full thing of popcorn. Man, the sets, as subtle as they are, they do a good job. Jason's thoughtfully eating the popcorn. Janet's like, “I got to go because Brent wants a BLT.” 

Michael actually normalizes things. He goes, “This is a common reaction by Simone.” Yeah, I think the river is on the box of popcorn or container. So then they say, “Jeez, we need to… Maybe we shouldn't work on Simone.” I don't know. And then Tahani mentions, “Well, jeez her…”  No, she goes, “We need someone with authority to talk to Simone.” That's what Tahani says. And she goes, “Someone like Mandela or Sir Patrick Stewart, one of old racquetball partners.” Oh, not Blake Bortles, that's what Eleanor says to Jason. Because he goes, “I know who.” And she goes, “Not Blake Bortles.” He goes, “No, no, Chidi. He looks like one of those owls that went to college.” And you could see the tension because then they see it's time to activate our ethical sleeper agent. 

But Eleanor, she's trying to manage her feelings for Chidi, and they can't control other people, and she has to make all this work. She says, “Let's wait for the party.” So then the opening scene of the party, the welcome party, Simone rolls in. She has a cheese head on, like from the Green Bay Packers. What is that stuff called that you put on your eyelids? I don't know… That's not mascara. It's something else. It's not a teal. Maybe it is a teal, but a bright blue. Then she has on like a Elizabethan collar. Then what I believe is just a regular old cardigan, a T-shirt of Einstein dabbing. Then something that looks like a dress form or something. I don't know. And then also a giant puffy yellow striped with sparkles clown pants, and then she also had foam fingers on. A green foam finger on one side and white one on the other side that say “We're number one.” And then we cut to a commercial. 

As she walks by, Michael says, “Oh, boy.” And Eleanor says, “We'll work it like…” Then we see Jason as Jianyu. He's snacking on peanuts. Derek is mixing a Derek, which is a giant, this case, a giant onion in a martini glass. And he says, “Derek, root a toot a toota,” as he's shaking it. And then Jason says, “Jeez, I'd like to call a truce. I decided to rise above your things and just make peace with it.” So even though Jason's trying to grow, Derek's not having it. So he says, “Well said, Mr. Mendoza.” But he goes, “Janet's my mommy girlfriend and you've crossed the Rubicon.” And let's see. States report, what does that say? Oh, status report. So they do a status report. Brent. They do a status report, then Brent says he was in the top half of the bottom half of his class at [Breniston 00:52:04]. 

Let's see, then we go to John who says, “I'm looking for someone who gets me. I'm going to keep touring this party till I find someone who gets my style.” Then they say, “Jeez, we can't wait any longer to do this Chidi thing.” But then Eleanor's not cool with this. So then Michael does some great truth telling, which is really good. I don't know what this says, five mulberries. Five… I don't know what that says. Five something, but, yeah. He spends a few minutes talking to Eleanor saying, “Jeez, don't worry Eleanor. Yeah, we're going to work this one out.” The party's really packed. It's not… Well, not really packed, but it's full. 

Oh, Eleanor talks under her breath, that was probably what my notes said. Yeah, then we're out by the pool with… Oh, Simone pushes a cake over. That's a cake pushing, that's what it says. I still don't know what five mulberry means though. Yeah, but then Simone pushes some people in the pool, and she talks about her nonsense brain. 

So Eleanor introduces Chidi to her. She goes, “Jeez, you're so familiar.” He goes, “Oh, we taught at the same school.” And she goes, “Oh, that makes sense.” Then she starts to, like we know each other. Then she just starts singing the song Semi-charmed Kind of Life, and they say… Chidi's like, “What are you doing?” And then she goes, “Oh, it's stuck in my alarm clock when I was a kid to wake me up. That was the only song it would play. So now I'm trying to wake myself up by singing it.” Also, when I was taking notes, this is kind of when I said, “Well, she's more dressed like a clown.” Then we go back to Mindy's for some more great comedy. Really, this is a good… I love the pacing when you throw Mindy into it.

Just her comedic timing, because she goes, “What is going…” Jason runs in. She goes, “Dude, what's going on with my house? There's this Darth Vader's turd in here.” And he goes, “There's no time to explain, plus I kind of forgot what it does.” She's been living in the attic. He goes, “Where's Derek's plunger?” They go outside to deal with Derek, who's got a glass of cherries at this point. 

Derek goes out, bye, bye. One of the many times I watch as I was working out, and it just cracked me up, but then when I watched it while I was taking notes, I kind of said, “Well, I don't know if it's appropriate for me to laugh.” But great stunt work for Derek. Then we go back to Simone and Eleanor and Eleanor's trying convince Simone that things are normal. She's doing the doot, doot, doot chorus from the song she had been singing. I never knew a Semi-charmed Kind of Life until like the last four or five years. I always thought it was a Semi [inaudible 00:55:29] Kind of Light or something. She says, “What's so weird about everything? It's normal.” And then Derek's on the screen just spouting nonsense too. 

Then we go back to Mindy's house. Eleanor's hands on her head. She's down. Jason's down. Michaels making a speech, and trying to say things. So then Jason's like, “Janet, this Derek's sliding into your DMs on me.” Janet's not happy. Jason's like some more great jokes about… Just recap, listen real close. She says, “We'll talk about it later.” They say, “Jeez, what are we going to do next?” Michael says, “Maybe we'll do flying day.” And Janet goes, “Oh, yeah I don't have nothing going on.” Because Eleanor says, “Let's focus on Linda. She's so dull. A big glob of plain yogurt.” Then Michael jumps to action and says, “Let's do flying day.” And Janet says, “Cool. So easy.” Also Michael changed suits. So he's in like a navy suit, lavender shirt. Really nicer tie. 

We go to flying day. They go, “Linda, how's it going?” She goes, “It's good.” She's just barely floating off the ground. Do you want to fly higher? Nah. Fine. We heard you like knitting. You want to do some knitting while you're flying? No thanks. Oh wait, I just saw a new sign. I'll try to read that. Make Some Art, it says. Yeah, let's do a little more rewinding here, if I'm missing any signs. Oh, I am. Yeah, this is a Live Sleepy Podcast research here. So I just got back. I'm getting ready to pause it. So far I'm not seeing any signs I can read. So, I guess I didn't get any new signs. They're too good with keeping stuff out of focus. 

Oh, there's one place called Childhood Mementos, but that doesn't seem like a… Oh, there's one. What does that one say above Linda's head? Childhood Mementos, Make Some Art. Trying to do it like frame by frame. I don't think it's clear. They say, “Jeez, what else do you like to do Linda? Listen to birds? So you don't look at them, you just listen?” Then Eleanor goes, “Let's go listen to some birds.” She kind of leans into Linda's personal area, and then Linda goes into like a… She goes, “Come on Linda,” and Linda goes into action mode like a super hero, and then it goes to commercial after that. Like something out of a Marvel movie. I just saw another sign, Everything is Vine. 

Then we go to a conference, like a FaceTime conference, or whatever. With Shawn and the judge and everybody, and the judge isn't happy. Ends up that Linda was really the shirtless mail man. He kind of looks like that Green Bay… Aaron Rodgers, that's who it is. They put the Green Bay guy. He goes, “Maybe I should put my shirt back on Eleanor?” Who goes, “Nah, nah. It's fine.” Then Shawn's like… Chris is his real name. They go, “Why'd you go ham on day two?” And Sean goes, “Well, I'm a rascal. Sorry judge. Just trying to…” So the judge makes a ruling. She says, “Chidi's the fourth subject,” and Sean says, “That's not fair, it's like studying for a test and doing well.” 

Then the judge says… They say, “Well, his memory is erased. We can't erase that booty, you know what I'm saying blondie?” Oh god, that was funny. I mean, in my Rudolph's mouth it's funny, but in my mouth it's just bedtime stuff. You know what I'm saying blondie? Oh, yeah, studying for a test. Then the judge says, “We've got to polish this up. I've been watching that TV show with Timothy Olyphant and I need my daily dose.” So she says, “We've got to finish up here.” Then what else do we have?

So they say, “Okay, well…” So then we go back to… Oh, the judge tells Shawn she might even watch homecoming videos of dogs if he doesn't polish up. Then the Bad Place train comes. It's got purple smoke. It crashes into trash cans. They say, “What'd you put those trash cans there just to crash into them?” It's bad Janet. She's texting and chewing gum. She's there to pick up the shirtless mail man. 

Michael's in a new suit. More conservative, but like a flashier pocket square. His suit is gray with a pocket square. Let me see it. I don't have a close up on it yet. But yeah, Janet's texting. She's got spandex pants on. Pocket square's kind of, not sure where the style of print came from, but really a flashy print. In a good way, or vibrant. Yeah, that's the right word. Plain gray suit, striped dress shirt, blue and white striped and then a navy kind of embossed bow tie. What bad Janet really is there to do is put some doubt in Eleanor's mind, so she definitely does that. Then Michael says, “Tell Shawn booya,” and he points, “and make sure to do it that way.”

I don't know. But really, she's just kind of planting the doubt in Eleanor who has her arms crossed. It's not easy being Eleanor in these first ones. That's fine. Then we see the caboose of the Bad Place express and the episode comes to an end. So I guess what I'll do is save all the research for the next episode. I'll run through these… Because then I have a ton of research anyway. But that way, like with episode two… So let's see. This was called The Good Place Presents A Selection. It was a series of shorts, and they're fast. I think they're all… The first one is two and a half minutes but it also includes a recap of last season. It's definitely fun to watch. It's called The Mission, where they kind of go through the rules. 

Michael [inaudible 01:02:40] Bad Place gets to choose people with the same level of badness. No reboots. Oh, some of this is on the board. Michael gets five minutes of prep time with each new subject. Neighborhood can be adjusted. I just saw Cheese whip on the table, or whatever that stuff is called. No files in advance. Oh, Shawn says they have a billion objections. They have to do it for a year. Judge will monitor. Then yes, the Good Place Presents in green, then it goes to Red, The Selection. Created by a bunch of ding dongs. 

They're in conference room C, it's 11:00 AM. The E-V-I-L planning meeting's at 11:00 AM. At 6:00 PM is the E-V-I-L Zumba class. The conference room is similar but different than the one that will be featured in episode one of season four. Also, a lot of the characters have these pins on, which I couldn't quite figure out, but not all of them do all the time. I don't know if that symbolizes a certain role in the Bad Place. Let's see, there's four people there. Bombajon, Glenn, Gayle, and Val. There's also coffee, or water craft there. First I thought they all had pins on their left, but then I realized that not all of them do. There's a blinking something. There's a lot of good jokes. Enacted super computer with the lights in the back and tape reels. There's a phone on the table. They say name some… I forgot… Oh, and so there's this thing and then Shawn says, “Oh, I didn't tell you the rules.” 

Semi ironic cover of a rap song. Think outside the box. Who said that originally? I think someone has to go play a… Joe Rogan's Podcast for Emily Dickinson. Shawn says, “IF you don't get this together, I'm going to show you videos of cute red pandas.” Then we go to episode two, which is called The Contestants. There's a bunch of head shots of possible people. This time Shawn's not in the room to start. There's also dot matrix printouts, with kind of contrast stuff. They say, “Oh, jeez, we've got some good options. Let's go get ready for him.” Val says, “I've got McKenzie [inaudible 01:05:18]. She's a trust fund kid from Greenwich, Connecticut who used to say, ‘Do you know who my father is?'” They say, “Maybe.” Bombajon has Troy Hastings, firefighter who does more on Tick Tock. 

Let's see… Then Gayle says, “They can't choose because all humans stink so bad.” They say, “Well, jeez, maybe we should order dinner and move the Zumba to conference room D because we need the time.” So then we go to part three, which is called The Takeout Order. I think Shawn says… Oh, no. That was made by [inaudible 01:06:02]… Something. Is that [inaudible 01:06:03]? Kids don't use words like that. They're looking through takeout menus. There's lots of jokes about it. The takeout menu is written in Bad Place script with a rooster on it. They talk about what they'd like to dinner and nosh on. It was just a lot of stuff there. Then one of the dude's, another Bad Place dude pops in. They say, “Jeez, Evil Zumba's down the hall in conference room D. Past the fountain right, right past 11 more fountains by the broom closet.” Then the other dude says, “Next to conference room E.” Then he says, “Oh, go suck. Bye.”

Glenn uses the term, my tum tum. So, mixed teeth now with… Oh, now with cavities, original flavor. It's a tooth with a Robin Hood hat on it. Shawn says, “I swear to Bieber…” Something about Julia Child and roast chicken. There's also a joke about seven-layered dip. Then there's episode four, the storm out. These are kind of Shawn, Bad Place-centric episodes created by your mom, it says. It's post-dinner, everyone's kind of chilling. They say, “Jeez, leave your plates.” They say, “Don't you have any new ideas.” Oh, well They say, “We'll generate our 840,000 ideas.” There's like a bunch of other insults. Michael says, “I'm going to cocoon your rears and the rest of you,” and they say, “Is that worse?” And he goes… Or, Shawn says that and he goes, “I don't know but it took longer to say.” He uses jokes about flies, honey, and vinegar. Then Shawn storms out and they say, “Go on, you got to go talk to Shawn. Do it.”

Then they have a talk with just… So, this takes place actually before the end of season three, I think, some of it. So then Shawn goes and has a talk… or Glen goes to talk to Shawn, and this one was created by one dingus, another dingus, and an even bigger dingus. Looks like Shawn's smoking cigars, but ends up they're a goo from Canada geese. Glenn's on the patch. He goes, “I'm all fine with like [inaudible 01:08:46]… Fine terrible, we need great terrible.” They say, “Jeez, what creative thinking,” but Glenn says, “You have to be nicer man. Our entire way of life is at stake.” So you get the stakes for the Bad Place, which is nice. There's something at five minutes that you go, “What? Say that again?” 

Which is good because he mentions, this is where the introduction of Simone of them, people that have actual relationships with them. So Shawn says, “Jeez, we have a lot of work to do. Let's go do it.” So then they set forth and part six is created by your mom. She came back to do another one, it's called The Solution. Shawn walks in with a file folder and basically says, “We've got to deal with these at the weakest points themselves. Four new people to specifically make them miserable.” And they go, “Oh, who's that?” 

Oh, someone asks, “Who's that?” And they see Simone, Chidi's ex girlfriend, and then they talk about John, who's the gossip columnist, vlogger. They say, “Jeez, we've got this Michael suit.” They say, “Jeez, now this is cheating,” and then they say, “Oh, ha ha, of course.” Then at the end there's this long staring back and forth with Shawn and Gayle. That's the end of The Selection, the six short episodes of The Selection. And that's the end of… Some thank yous and stuff, but thanks for listening. Welcome back Good Place and goodnight.