803 – Neverending Introduction | All Intros 676-680

Scooter: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster who doesn't ask, “Will it go around in circles?” Because I know it will. May some of you feel high like a bird up in the sky, or calm in your bed, like something something else. Like a clam in a clam's bed. What am I talking about? I know 33% of what I'm talking about. The rest is here to help you get some rest, because it's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

Scooter: I hear you're up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. Well, welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place.

Scooter: I'm going to smooth it, I'm going to pat it, I'm going to rub it down, and then just like if I was in a Motownphilly Harmony, or Cooley High Harmony, it's a safe place. It could be a little bit of you say, “What is he talking about?” Well, here's the thing. I'm already kind of mixed up and confused to be honest with you. But I'm here to help. I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use a lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.

Scooter: Pointless meanders, tangents, lulling, soothing stuff. Smoothing and patting, and pitter-pattering, just like our many pets now. It's rolling in. People are naming their pets Pitter and Patter. What was I saying? Oh, okay. So try to create a safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake. I'm here to keep you company. I've been there, sleepless tossing and turning.

Scooter: If you're new, this show does not make a whole lot of sense at first. If you can, ease back and listen, or give it a few tries. I'm here to help, but I'm a bit different. And the podcast, it's kind of like a mixed up mix up. It isn't one of those ones that if you mix it up more, it gets organized. I don't know, maybe we'll talk about mixing paints. Because I know some people on Facebook who were talking about mixing paint videos.

Scooter: But here's the thing, if you're new, I'm here to keep you company. Oh, it was structure of the show. Usually this is how, so structurally what to expect, show starts off with a few minutes of business, that's how we keep this show free, and ideally all our archives free, and you can find all that on our website, SleepWithMepodcast.com. If you just remember when your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, say, “Who sponsors that podcast that puts me to sleep?”

Scooter: Some of you might say, “Well, I do. I sponsor it myself.” So that's how we start a show. Then there's a intro where it's about 12 minutes or so. And when I say “or so” it could be nine minutes, could be 14 or 16 minutes, where I kind of demonstrate … I don't know, I say how the podcast works, I try to make a safe place, I guess.

Scooter: That would be pretty sweet if you were a billionaire, I wonder if you would normally say, “Hey, could you smooth and pat that safe place down? Aka my bed,” as they get into it … I don't know if you would want someone to smooth or pat it down for nine to 16 minutes. At least while you were there. But maybe that could be a service, a secret service, you say. Are there any hotel barons or baronesses that listen to this podcast? Are there any hotel baron or baronesses left? I don't know.

Scooter: But that's an idea. You could take it for free, with a bunch of those points. I think people love those points. I don't know if I have any of those, but … or free rooms. But you could say, “In our hotel, on this special floor, on the smooth and patted floor, we don't just put a chocolate on your pillow. Your bed is smoothed and patted down for 12 minutes. Believe me, it makes a difference. When you see those sheets, they're not taut, they're smooth.”

Scooter: You say, “That's right, I used to like my hotel sheets taut, T-A-U-A-T or whatever, but once I saw those smoothed and patted, I could never go back. It ended up, I was a hotel baroness and then I spent my fortune at the hotel that had the smooth patted sheets. We at our hotel invest in sooth padded sheets, which didn't work our as good.” Where was I? Oh, I was trying to explain to new listeners. So the intros are a little bit like that but longer, of me getting distracted and going on tangents.

Scooter: A lot of listeners use it while they're preparing for bed, while they're easing into bed, doing their bedtime routine, gathering their pets, or brushing their teeth, or their hair. Maybe doing some foam rolling, just suggesting it so maybe I'll follow through on that later myself. I did two nights in a row, by the way, internal critics, so we're on a roll, a foam roll if you don't mind me saying. Where was I? I got distracted again. Oh, so that's the intro. Then there's a bedtime story. Tonight actually will be a premiere episode of our new season of episodic modular learning you can sleep through, where the characters learn.

Scooter: You say, “Well, I could sleep through it, because the character may or may not learn something.” It's also kind of a season two, branch off season two of our beloved series Nuns in Space. So episode any starts tonight. It happens to start tonight, but you can listen to them in any order. And don't worry, I'll fill you in on what you need to know before the story starts.

Scooter: But it'll be a bedtime story. Just like if someone wants to come in at a separate service and they say, “Where are you comfortable? Where do you want me? Outside the room? Inside the room? By telephone? I could do it by gramophone if you need to. Telegraph. We'll tell you a bedtime story, included in the price.” Just like you were a kid. I'm here to take your mind off stuff and keep you company.

Scooter: Between the intro and the show, is like other ways to support the show, and then at the end of the show are some thank yous and good nights. That's the structure of the show. A couple other things, you don't really need to listen to me. You probably figured that out, because originally I was going to talk about mixing paints, and it just mixed my synapses up and probably my metaphors, and probably my adverbs and adjectives. I mix those up a lot, oftenly, hardy har har.

Scooter: Mix up humor and non-humor, too. What was it? I also forget what I was saying. What was it? Oh, you don't need to listen to me. That was not intentional. But believe it or not, you don't need to listen to me, and you're under no pressure to fall asleep. I'm going to be here for an hour. If you can't sleep, I'll be here until the end to keep you company, to tell you a story that's somewhat barely engaging.

Scooter: So if you need it, it's here. If you need a few minutes or 20 minutes of distraction, it's here. But you also say, “Hmm, it's not like he's talking around stuff, it's like he's talking around me, like in …” Those were just synapse mix ups. I'm not even sure what happened there. But so you don't need to listen to me, no pressure to fall asleep, and I'll try to be as gentle, meandering, and soothing as I can. Just like those paint mixing videos I haven't seen, but I've seen other ones.

Scooter: I just watched wax ceiling videos, and those were lovely and very relaxing. I'm sure, I guess maybe I have seen some paint mixing, or maybe they were paint stirring videos, where you see the different paints and then the colors are both separated and then together. You see the texture of the paint, the bubbles, the viscosity, the steady smooth of the ocean. I'll be trying to do all that auditorily, and with a little totem mixed in, a little theater of the mind.

Scooter: Yes, it's amateur theater of the mind. I mean, I couldn't even … I don't think people are professional paint mixers or not. They do that by machine. I don't know, could you be a bespoke paint mixer? You probably could. I would say mixing paint is somewhat of an art. Especially if they're doing it on video and in a deliberate way. Or it could be found art. You say, “Man.” Like Bob Ross was both found art, and an artist creating art, and an art teacher, and just great. Happy little clouds or whatever Bob used to say.

Scooter: How are you doing Bob? Good to see you. Your hair's a little bit in my way, even though this is only imaginary. I always wondered if you were in the podcast studio. Just lean back a little. Oh, it's tickling my face. I got Bob Ross here in the studio, but that's mostly Bob Ross' hair. Why don't you go sit on the bed over there. I'll be by in a second. We were talking about paint mixing and stirring. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I think you were the original, of course you were. Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Bob's gone.

Scooter: Anyway, I'm glad you're here. Give this podcast a few tries. That's the one thing all listeners agree on, takes a few tries to get used to. I mean, some it works right away. You say, “Hey, this Scoot's brain is a little bit like mine. I realize he's here to help. He's been there, sleepless or waking up in the middle of the night, or waking up at 4:15 and being like, “What in the heck?” So I'm here to help. I'm here to keep you company. I'm here to take your mind off of stuff.

Scooter: I'm your borefriend, your bore bae, your bore cuz, your bore sib. I thought of another term recently, and now I forgot it, but I could be, like I'm mixing the bores for you. Just like someone's mixing … I guess they could mean different things in different ages, but for now, I'll just say B-O-R-E-S. But yeah, I'm here to help. Give it a few tries. See if it helps. If it doesn't work, try some LibriVox, try some Pink Noise, some binaural beats, there's a lot of stuff out there.

Scooter: But this is how I help, and I hope I do. I appreciate you coming by. I work very hard, and I strive, and I yearn to help you fall asleep. Thank you so much, and if you could just listen to the message, and then we'll get on with the show. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome, this is Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep, and the podcast that goes forgetful sometimes.

Scooter: We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, just to re-summarize. Could be any of a bunch of other things. Could be something you're feeling physically. Something you're experiencing emotionally, or that happened that you're having feelings about. Natural. You're a human being.

Scooter: It could be thoughts about any of that stuff, or just thinking stuff. Those darn synapses. There was a Nickelodeon show I pitched, would you believe it wasn't picked up, “Those Darn Synapses”. It was … well, I'll get back to that TV show about the synapse family, the synapses. But anyway, this is a podcast to put you to sleep. I try to create a safe place, I try to earn your trust if you're new. It might take me a little while.

Scooter: This podcast is a little bit different. Just try to loosely pay attention because it's not going to make a whole lot of sense. But I'm here in an attempt to help you, to take your mind off of stuff while you drift off into dreamland. I do tend to repeat myself, because my brain doesn't seem to be recording it all. Ever since I pitched that synapses TV show, I think at the end they wanted, they said, “Well, what about a Hallmark special?” I said, “Well, I don't know what that is.”

Scooter: And they said, “Remember those afterschool specials?” And I said, “Isn't it your job to remember the afterschool specials?” And then they said, “Synapses on strike,” or something. That was it. The rest is history. Then I made up a sleep podcast. But if you're new, here's what I propose to do. I'm going to the smoothest safe place, I'm going to pat it and I'm going to rub it down, and I'm going to raise my hand up and say, “Safe place.” Or both hands. Well, I can't because one, I don't want to bump the microphone.

Scooter: I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, tangents, I don't know if I'll have fictional musings, but those two words just popped in my head, so I figured I'd say them. But here's the thing. I want to keep you company. I want to be a ply to be your borefriend, your bore bae, your bore cuz, your bore sib, and what my job is to be here for you, to be your companion in the deep, dark night.

Scooter: Your job, here's the good news, here's a couple things about the podcast if you're new. You don't need to listen to it. Now you can, but you don't have to. There's no shoulds. I don't know how else to say that concisely, but there's no shoulds and there's no should nots. You can kind of listen, you can mostly listen, you can partially listen, or you can barely listen.

Scooter: There's a lot of people that listen and they said, “I don't even understand what he's saying.” Or there's some people that listen the whole time. You can listen how you wish, I guess that's what I was trying to say. Also, there's no pressure to fall asleep. I'm going to be here for about an hour to be your friend in the deep, dark night. So whether you fall asleep in 10 minutes, or you're awake all the way to the end of the hour, I'm going to be here to keep you company, to be at your bedside in a digital friendly manner.

Scooter: Much like a fireside chat, like is a chat one on one? Because I think those were a bigger deal. This isn't really … I guess this is a podcast you could say it's full of chatter, but so what was I saying? I'm here to … Oh, you don't need to listen to me. And no pressure to fall asleep. This is a podcast to keep you company while you drift off, to take your mind off stuff, maybe put a smile on your face, maybe put you at ease.

Scooter: Let you say, “Hmm, yeah. I'm sinking in there. The Scoot's is here. He's my companion, he's my buddy.” That's the one thing you need to know. Structurally, if you're new, the show starts off with a little bit of business, and there's business between the intro and the story, and that's how we keep the show going and free, is the people that are actively engaged in supporting the sponsors or supporting the show directly, so I'm going to pull out all you.

Scooter: If you're new, not a big deal, but those of you that regularly do that, you keep the show going, so thank you for that, and if you're new, thanks for getting through that part. Then there's an intro. The intro, well I guess we're probably like four or five minutes into it. Usually they're around 12. I shoot for 12 minutes, I usually end up between nine and 18 minutes. That's a show within a show, part monologue as they say, mostly logue. I use some faded sleep dust to rusty meanders, creaky dulcets, all those things, and I kind of try to create a metaphor of what the podcast is.

Scooter: So you say, “Well, this is a little bit familiar. Scoot's try to craft a metaphor, and he realizes that he's not at a potters … he's getting all this stuff that you'd see a potter in a movie, but he just mostly has the goopy stuff.” See, if I had a potter's wheel, it would be square and oblong. It'd have sort of harsh angles and oblong angles.

Scooter: You say, “I can't picture that.” And I'd say, “Whew, believe me. I've been working with my whole life. These darn synapses, they got to get back to that.” Well yeah, so the intro is where I try to explain what the podcast is. For regular listeners, its something familiar, but it's different every time. Because the goal of the intro is one, make you feel welcome, to greet your skepticism, if you're new. I guess in a way you should be skeptical. I'm glad you are. That's a very intelligent way to greet this, and I don't know.

Scooter: I guess that's what I say to your skepticism, I don't know what to say, give it a few tries, see if it helps. I can't make any promises other than I'll be here goofing around to keep you company like a bore bud. And podcast works for some people, doesn't work for others. Most listeners say it takes three tries and then it stops making sense and they just fall asleep. So give it a few tries.

Scooter: I'm glad, if you're here, if you're skeptical. That's what the intro is. Then there'll be a story portion, where tonight we'll be talking about episodes five and six of The Good Place, mostly set and costume details, with noticing jokes, but trying not to out any of the jokes of the show, or too much of the plots. Just an appreciation. You say, “Wow, so you do a podcast, a The Good Place appreciation show.”

Scooter: And I'd say, “Well, let's not get carried away.” I mean, I appreciate The Good Place totally, Totes McGoats, but this podcast is more me appreciating, yeah, I mean, somebody is putting hard work in there, and I guess I don't want to point any fingers, but say somebody is putting work on those sets pretty hard, and I'm here to appreciate it in a way, a lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet way.

Scooter: And really, if someone wasn't putting in all that hard work, in reality, there wouldn't be the details for me to fixate on, so bravo and I hope if you ever do listen, if anybody on that set or that staff or that crew or the cast ever listen to this, I'm not just doing this out of love, but whatever one step of beyond love is. Or for me, I can't say why, I've got to keep my rock inside … what's that thing when you want to hold something, and you want to hold it up.

Scooter: I guess it's right after a bunny rabbit or something comes out of its shell, and you say, “I want to hold this up to the light. I like it so much.” So tonight we'll be talking about The Good Place in details and stuff on The Good Place. That's the structure. Then there's some thank yous at the end, and yeah. I guess I was talking about speaking of The Good Place, that's a TV show that's on TV, and a show that never made it onto TV was Those Darn Synapses.

Scooter: I think there's other shows called Those Darn Things, but this was about the Synapses, a family of synapses, and people may have said it was influenced by other shows, and I'd say, “Provably was because I've watched a whole lot of TV.” You may say, I guess you don't even “may say” it, my belief system probably from age five to however old I am now, well I realized at some point it wasn't working, but I still use that belief system.

Scooter: I mean, if you put me under hypnosis, even though I didn't watch a lot of TV shows with Ricky Schroeder, they'd say, “Well, who would you consider one of the supreme beings?” I mean, probably it's a polytheistic thing anyway. If I was under there I'd say the Ricker, Rick Schroeder. They'd say, “Well, how many episodes of Silver Spoons did you see?” I'd say, “I have no idea. Not as many, don't associate it that way. That is why I consider the Ricker, I think that's why you have me under hypnosis so I can be honest with you.”

Scooter: But yeah, probably I definitely said, “Well, if I could just be more like the Ricker.” This was when I was like 10 years older than the character on the TV show. I said, “My life's going to go golden.” And yes, I'd say, “What about the goddesses?” And I'd say, “Of course The Golden Girls are goddesses to me. I also wished I could've lived their lives, both in their current … I wish I could be a golden girl, for sure. I mean, why not? I'm under hypnosis, why not be honest with you?”

Scooter: I'd say, “I would love to say my name is Blanch Dubois, but I'd love to be as cool as Rose, but yeah, was it Blanche's last name Dubois? Or am I mixing my metaphorical characters? Okay. Did I hypnotize you? Oh, I'm in the middle of a podcast intro, let me get back. Oh, and a TV show pitch. That already failed. Yeah, it was called Those Darn Synapses, and yeah, basically it was going to be a sitcom about a synapse family. But I kind of wanted to have it a little more progressive, and they said, “Well, let's just do,” and then they said, “a multi-cam.”

Scooter: I said, “No, this is going to be a multi-scan.” I said, “Not a single camera.” I said, “This is going to be an actual …” I think this is where it went wrong. They said, “I think we're with you,” and I said, “Yeah, no. Progressive.” I said, “Not a nuclear family.” Then we started talking multi-cam, single-cam. I said, “No, no, no. Scan. This will be a real look in at the synapse. We're going to pick a synapses family.”

Scooter: And they said, “But you said it's fictional.” And I said, “Yeah, you'll be scanning it.” I said, “Trust me, this is a new thing.” Then they said, “Like VR? Like Oculus?” And I said, “No, no, no.” Then I tried to do a theme song for it about those darn synapses, synapses, synapses. It went like that. “You say mine, he says his.” It was pretty good, at least I thought so.

Scooter: But you're maybe listening, you may be new, you say, “Okay. This person may be short. Maybe those darn synapses did.” And I say, “You're probably right. They did check out a while back. And I am short. Not only am I short of synapses, my synapses are shorted. And let's not even get started on my telomeres, because they've started … I think they said, ‘We're sheathed. We sheathed our …' Anyway, I'll save those for the DNA conference. Along with my multitude of Crick and Watson jokes that have yet to be discovered.”

Scooter: And I say, “Curie? Cure me. Okay. No takers on those.” Anyway, so I'm back. So this is a podcast to put you to sleep, believe it or not, to take your mind of stuff. I guarantee there's a chance I took your mind off of stuff, distracted you. And most of my ideas, they're not half baked. You might just say they're barely there. I mean, you might be lying there saying, “Well, I could almost see a TV comedy about not synapses, but something like that, like dinosaurs or families.

Scooter: And you say, “Okay, well. He got me.” Anyway. This is a podcast to put you asleep, to keep you company. The reason I make this show is because I've been there tossing and turning, just aching to sleep, to rest, for something to distract me from my thoughts so I could loosen my grip on the world and slip off into that hypnotic type state where you're asleep and resting.

Scooter: That's what I want for you. I really, truly believe in the fact that you deserve a good night's sleep. I'm here to help. This is the only way I can. It doesn't work for everybody, but I hope it works for you. I appreciate you coming by. I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep. Thanks so much. Hey, if you're up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

Scooter: We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, work schedule, you're traveling, your partner is traveling, it's windy, it's rainy, whatever it is, I'm here to keep you company.

Scooter: If you're new, let me just say this, because I've gotten some feedback lately, give this podcast a few tries. Kick back. You can keep a curious open mind, but a lot of what I do here is pretty much nonsense or doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I'm here to help. What I'm going to do … did I say I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I don't think I did. I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.

Scooter: Those are some methods I'm going to use to try to and help you, pointless meanders, tangents, going off topic, if I had a topic. Actually tonight we do have a topic. We'll be talking to someone about sipping lemonade in their view. Really, in depth coverage of sipping lemonade, for real. But you say, “Okay, I could probably listen. What's my adjusted use time of listening to the facts about lemonade?

Scooter: Usually about a 30 second commercial. How long are you going to talk about lemonade and sipping lemonade for? Well, I'm going to talk about the lemonade experience. That'll be about 45 minutes. Oh, you're new? I guess this is an opportunity for me to tell you about the structure of the show. We start off with some business. It's part of the way we keep all the archives free.

Scooter: If you wonder tomorrow, when your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, just think SleepWithMepodcast.com/sponsors, you could check it out and say, “Oh, okay. That's how I support the podcast.” But if you're new, not super important. Then we have an intro which we've begun, and that's about 15 to 20 to 18 minutes of me trying to explain what the podcast is, and usually not succeeding. Kind of succeeding.

Scooter: Okay, okay, brain. Barely, somewhat succeeding. The Scooter Story: Somewhat Succeeding. Yeah, that could be another book. What was I saying? Oh, so the intro is yeah, it's a long intro, a show within a show. Best to help you ease into bed, get ready for bed, prepare. You say, “Okay, now I know him. Scooter's trying to create a safe place where I could set aside all that stuff. He's here to help.

Scooter: He's a little bit strange and a little bit goofy, but he's well-intentioned. Because I'm here, I'm applying to be your borefriend, your bore bae, your bore bud, I guess I could be your boreber. That sounds a bit like a barber. But you could say, “Well, Scoots,” because I know everybody's got a different level of comfort. Some people they're like, “Yeah, I'm your borefriend. I'm your bore bestie. You're my bore bae, or my bore sibs, my bore cuzes.”

Scooter: But I could be your borebor. I would have no clue how to spell that, I can barely sound it out, but it would be like your neighbor. Your borebor. You say, “Well, I don't know about you being my bore bestie. But you could be my borebor, and I could kind of hear you on the distance, kind of like if your neighbor is watching TV at that just right volume. I almost said temperature.

Scooter: Because you could say sounds and temperature have some parallels. I mean, you could talk to Dallas at Twenty Thousand Hertz about those kind of things. But what was I saying? I got distracted, now I'm thinking about all these great sound podcasts, because World of Sound is another great one you could check out. But no, just the right sound where it's just murmuring. Some people listen to podcasts like that.

Scooter: That's the intro. I think I might have summarized the intro in there. I also went off topic a few times, just like I always do. There's the intro, then there's a little bit business between the intro and the show, and that's how we keep the show going. Ideally we could keep all of our archives free, over 600 shows. Then we have the episode which is usually about 45 minutes.

Scooter: Tonight, yeah, we'll be discussing sipping lemonade and porch swings and those kind of things. Things like you say … Well, everybody, no, we'll just think about it. We'll talk about it. Then we'll have some thank yous at the end. So that's the structure of the show. Also, if you're new, a couple things you may have figured out just by intuition. You don't need to listen to me or to kind of make sense of the podcast.

Scooter: I think the same part of your brain is trying to keep you up at night sometimes could say, “What? This podcast doesn't make any sense. What's up with this guy?” If you could just give that phrase part of you a little bit of a hug and say, “Yeah, what's up with this guy?” I understand the skepticism coming in. I'm a very skeptical person, so it's just a matter of hugging that skeptic and saying, “Don't worry. The Scoot's is my borebor. He's two doors down. What is up with this guy? Hmm.”

Scooter: Because I'm here to help. I'm here to keep you company. You don't need to listen to me. Here's the other thing. I don't know if this is irony or paradox or just the fact my few misfiring synapses or synapses, you don't need to … there's no pressure to fall asleep. This is a podcast to be here while you fall asleep. To kind of put you to sleep I'm just keeping you company.

Scooter: You're just like a friend, that's why I use all that terminology. I just want to help. I've been there before, tossing and turning, all those things. Or thinking, or waking up and saying, “Hmm, what the heck? Why'd you wake up at 3:30?” You say, “Well.” You say, “Doesn't feel like 3:30.” You say, “No, no, no. Let's not talk about this. I just want to go back to sleep.”

Scooter: “Well, just noticing. Doesn't feel like 3:30, does it? Feels like we should get this day going.” And I had to say, “Who are you exactly, because I've never seen you during the day. Are you some sort of go-getter part of me, huh?”

Scooter: “Yep. I think we should just go get it right now.”

Scooter: “No, no. It's 3:30. I've got to go, I'm going to go back to sleep. I think I was just having a nice dream about one of those fountains of chocolate, but it was pillows and something tangible and not sticky. I was sleeping there. It was a dream, so it doesn't make any …”

Scooter: “Well, no, no. I think we should get after it right now.”

Scooter: “Okay, here's the thing though. When I'm trying to get after it, I've never seen you before, except around this time of day. I just have to guess this, I'm not usually this well-grounded, but I actually am in the middle of a podcast intro and not asleep, is I think you're kind of just an illusion. You're somebody else talking behind you, and you're really not a go-getter. You're a go get Scoots and interrupt his sleep.”

Scooter: “Oh, jeez. You got me. I don't know what to do.”

Scooter: “What? I know what to do. Come on, I was just talking about skeptics, and I'm not skeptical about you. Come in for a hug.”

Scooter: “Really, you want to hug me?”

Scooter: “Well, no, no, no. I want to carry you. Tell you what, we're going to go back to sleep together. We might not get back to that chocolate fountain that's a pillow in some way that only makes sense in a dream, but why don't we try?”

Scooter: “Wow, that sounds great. You must mix …”

Scooter: “Yeah, well, I've been doing this a little while, so I'm getting better. I mean, I'm going to become a well-adjusted human, one minuscule change at a time. Look out 90s, they're going to be the new 40s when I get there. I'm going to be so well-adjusted, believe me. So yeah, come on it. Come on in for a hug. Have you heard about this new method I do? Some people call it tapping. I call it pitter-pattering. I'll pitter-patter your back. I've got to get back to the audience, so.”

Scooter: Hey, I'm back. Sorry about that. I'm just dealing with some sort of internal illusion, I don't know, I'm just doing some hugging and some pitter-pattering. Keeping some company, even internally. But if you're new, like I said, I'm here to help. You don't need to listen to me. No pressure to fall asleep. I'll be here for about an hour. If you can't sleep, I'm going to be here the whole time to keep you company, to be your borefriend as well.

Scooter: So I'll be here the whole time whether you're awake or you're asleep, and I'm trying to think of anything else you need to know. I mean, give a few tries. That's what most reviewers say. There's very few things, I mean, this podcast has a pretty wide range globally of listeners and listener tastes, and how people use the podcast. So I just try to make the best sleep podcast I can.

Scooter: But one thing I've seen almost all the listeners agree on is that it takes a few tries, because this is a little bit different. But I appreciate you … I appreciate both things. I appreciate the fact that you checked out the podcast. You decided to give it a listen. But I also appreciate the fact of you, that you deserve a good night's sleep, and I'd like to help facilitate, and not to use a very clinical … I don't know. Is facilitate a clinical word? It's more a facilities based word. Like a planning word.

Scooter: But I'd like to facilitate you getting a good night's sleep. I'd like to help you be rested tomorrow. If I can, in my small way. Because I'd love for you to get a good night's sleep as often as you possibly can, so you can be out there in the world flourishing and enjoying life. This is how I help. I want to help because I've been there, because I've heard from a lot of different people who listen to this show across the entire spectrum of humanity, and I'm honored to be in a position to help those people that the podcast words for.

Scooter: So why not give it a few tries? I'm here to help. As I said, appreciate your time. Thank you so much for coming by. I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep. Thank you so much, and let's hear from a few ways that we keep this show a going. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

Scooter: We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place. I'm going to pat it, I'm going to smooth it, I'm going to rub it down, I'm going to buff it. You know, I might even tweak it. Massage it and I'll tap it. And I'll establish it and I'll put my arms around it when needed.

Scooter: A safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, travel, changes in routine or work schedule. Maybe it's something temporary, maybe it's something ongoing, but I'm here to try to help. Now this podcast is a little bit different. It's tough to make sense of it. So it's best if you're new to just kind of kick back, and you'll wonder what's going on, and that'll be okay. Say, “This doesn't make any sense,” and that'll be okay.

Scooter: And you wonder, “Should I keep an open mind about this, or should I be skeptical about it?” I say you could do both if you wish. Test us out a few times. See if it helps you. The podcast has not been known to work immediately. Though it does on some people. But give it a few tries. What I'm going to do to create that safe place, one try to earn your trust, with giving you permission to do whatever.

Scooter: You could listen in whatever way you wish. I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, normally I wear meanderwear, but yesterday, we'll talk about sweatpants, or I guess they're called … what are they called? It's called active wear sometimes. I think there's other terms where they say, “Let's class that up.”

Scooter: Today for this intro I'm wearing sweatpants, with meanders built in one day, they plan on building in. Here's another thing that has nothing to do with anything I've talked about, but just popped in my head, you know what Spider-Man doesn't get any credit for as a superhero, is his ability to make his own costume? How come superheroes don't get credit for that? I just thought of that, but I was picturing him at a sewing machine, and for someone that didn't take a sewing class, or having a sewing mentor … I mean, maybe he did, but they don't show any of that.

Scooter: They do show him sewing sometimes. And all the other superheroes, whatever universe you're hero-ing and heroin-ing in, if you'd made your own costume, great job. Because I guess I saw a movie where … who's that other dude? Iron Man. Now, he's more of an industrial costume maker or whatever. He has that whole complex behind him. He had a couple things to say about the uniform, and I said, “What the heck? This kid made it himself, bro.” I guess that would be a role … Anyway, I kind of do try to interject that on your behalf. I don't know if I'll get to sweatpants.

Scooter: Let me get to the new listeners before I get to these metaphors that don't really make any sense. That was a pointless meander though. I guess it was a little bit pointed, because … well, it wasn't pointed, it was more fabric related. You say, “Hey, can we get some credit over here?” And really, that's what I'm trying to do, is give you credit for being a human. It's not easy, and I really believe you deserve a good night's sleep, and I'm here to help.

Scooter: If you're new, here's the structure of the show. Starts off with business. That's how we keep the archives free and the current episodes going. It's the people that support the show directly, or the people that support the sponsors. When your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, just remember to go to SleepWithMepodcast.com. You'll see all the sponsors there. Thank you for going through that.

Scooter: Then there's the intro, which is about 12 minutes, 14 minutes, 16 minutes, 10 minutes of me trying to explain what the podcast is, verbally patting, smoothing, and buffing the safe place. Introducing you, or reacquainting you with the safe place. Every night if needed. Because I really want you to feel safe and comfortable. I'm here to turn those frowns upside down, or into a neutral state. It's the whole purpose of bedtime.

Scooter: I say, “Well, if I can't give you credit for making a superheroine uniform, I could give you credit for say, you know what, your existence is heroic. It's not easy.” Like I said, I like to help. I think I kind of repeated that because of its importance. And the intro kind of repeats that over and over in different ways. You say, “Okay, this is familiar, but it's different every time. I can use this as part of my wind down, as part of my bedtime routine. As a part of getting ready, or brushing my teeth, or calling in my pets, or my pet, or just snuggling in.”

Scooter: Maybe holding your … I don't know if you have a wubby. Is that a universal thing? The word wubby. Or does someone famous have a wubby, or am I just remembering … I don't think any of my siblings had … it was something called wubby, but I know someone in my life did. So I don't know if that … somebody call Carl Jung in the afterlife and ask about archetypes of … I mean, come on. Who's the next Carl Jung? Am I pronouncing it correctly? Because I'd like to get in touch with them and say, “Hey, is there a wubby archetype?”

Scooter: And they'd say, this did happen, actually. I called one of the centers or foundations on the expansions some of the … I said, “Excuse me, do you know about a wubby archetype?” And they said, “A wookie?” And I said, “No, no. Wubby archetype. Of course they … but oh, sorry. I'm in the middle of also a podcast intro. Sorry Carl, go back to whatever you're doing up there.” Maybe you've picked up sewing. Maybe you have a sewing mentor. How bout that?

Scooter: That would be a pretty sweet … I guess this isn't reincarnation, but what if Carl J. or whatever is up there, and the rest of the team of brilliant minds about minds are up there sewing wubbies, archetypal wubbies. Okay. So the structure of the show, there's the intro. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, clearly. Then there's a story, bedtime story. This will be our second episode in our ongoing episodic with a Touch of Serial story, Nuns in Space: The Stan Chronicles.

Scooter: But if it's your first time listening, I'll fill you in on everything you need to know about that. Then we'll have some thank yous at the end. Between the intro and the stories, some sponsor stuff, too, to keep the show going. So that's it, structurally. Then, what else do you need to know? You don't need to listen to me. Probably figure that out on your own. I mean, you don't got to be … what do they call that? A super tailor to figure out Scoot's is, okay, I can see he's on the pointless meanders.

Scooter: You don't need to listen to the podcast. It's just ideally engaging enough to take your mind off of whatever is keeping you awake. I mean, I guess I'm distracted again, because I said, “If you are a superhero, maybe working on your own uniform is a way …” Like you said, “Okay, well I've got to get my mind off this stuff. The whole world, that's a big job. But when I sit down and I mend my uniform, I really feel free. I feel at ease. I feel recharged.”

Scooter: Okay. Here's a pitch. I don't know, which ever company wants to do work with me on this, super tailor. Go ahead, you can send your checks directly to me. I think it's a thing. I guess you could say there's a lot of characters that fill in that role. Maybe that's the archetypal role. I don't know. I mean, I've got a team of the greatest former earth minds working on wubbies out there, if they listen to this podcast.

Scooter: Also, I call all those, like I said, I called every institute in northern Europe. I've been blocked by them, but okay. Back to this. So you don't need to listen to me. I guess that's what I was explaining. But there's also no pressure to fall asleep. I'll be here for about an hour. I'll be here to keep you company, to be your companion in the deep, dark night, to be your borefriend, to help you fall asleep, to give you something else to think about.

Scooter: To turn that frown, to take the rigamarole out of bedtime, and to give you the ease that old Peter Parker might feel when he's behind that sewing machine. Maybe he has some thread between his lips. You can see his shoulders are so much more at ease, and you just sink in there. It would also be a good cover, like Aunt May or whoever, Owen or whoever, Aunt Veru, they might come in and he says, “Well, this is my hobby.” It would be easy to say, “It was for the 4th of July parade six months from now, working on something for that. Really, well not this World Cup, but another World Cup maybe, or Canada. Anything.

Scooter: Oh, what was I going to say? No pressure to fall asleep. I'll be here to keep you … because if you can't sleep, I'm going to be here giving then hell to the very end. I'm your bore bae, I'm your borefriend, I'm your bore cuz. So I'll be here whether you're awake or asleep, because that's my job. And yeah, I was going talk about sweatpants. I'll do that in another intro, because I feel like I need to give it more space.

Scooter: The whole idea of the podcast, I guess I already … this metaphor is so nonsensical, but the perfect fit. I mean, I'm sure great comic minds have done this, but superhero's hobbies. I mean, could we get that as like a subprint or whatever? They say, “Yeah, we can do that with the rest of your comics, Scoots. The ones that are unprint. They're non-printed.” They say, “Okay, well, I'd prefer something other than the imaginary press I already created, Gingerbread Press.” But we could call it super hobbies.

Scooter: Maybe we could get some funding and do it as … I don't know, is there like is there a budget for that? And the say, “Well, we're trying to get hobbies back for everybody. The public center for hobby enthusiasm, instead of …” How come nobody's a hobby enthusiast? I guess if you're a hobbyist, you're kind of an enthusiast? But this, I could be the next hobby enthusiast, and I'd say, “Well, I'm enthusiastic about people having hobbies, so what can I say?” Kind of even a theme in this episode a little bit tonight where I say, “Hey, even superheroes, even post-Earth life, minds, people in charge of mind stuff, they have hobbies, according to my records.”

Scooter: And they say, “Really? What are they doing? Are they figuring out stuff with …” I do know they're working on wubbies. Well, first they're going to do an archetypal wubby. They're going to send it to me to look over, and I say then, “Wrong color. Sorry, Carl. I don't know, you must have the whole ROYGBIV spectrum and more up there, but this is pea green. No one wants … I mean, some people do want a pea green wubby. That's a niche market, though. And I could see it. Don't worry. I'm just here, I'm not criticizing.

Scooter: I mean, I guess I'm just saying it doesn't work. Back to the drawing board. I see what you were trying to do, you know an archetypal wubby has to be archetypal. Why don't you go back to when the Earth was just covered in water, take a look at that color, whatever that's called. That's not miasma. I always get my miasma and my whatever … I don't know my miasma from my vestigial. Okay. Carl's rolling his … you know what I mean though. That soup. Primordial soup. Think about the color of primordial soup, make an archetypal wubby out of that, and show it to me. And then I'll make a call.”

Scooter: Okay. Sorry, I'm back. I don't know what happened. I think I crossed over. He also made someone that's crossed over cross. But I'm here to help. I'm here to take your mind off stuff. I would pause it, maybe you weren't thinking about all the other stuff when I was talking there, but I'm here to take your mind off stuff to keep you company. Give it a few tries, see if it works. I hope it does. Because I work very hard.

Scooter: I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep. Thanks for coming by. And if you could just pay attention for a few minutes and how I talk about a few ways we keep the show a going. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.

Scooter: I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, time, temperature, like travel, whatever is keeping you awake. It could be thinking, thought based stuff, it could be physical based, physical feelings, emotions, it could be a situation, like your on the road or something.

Scooter: Whatever it is, I'm going to try. Like I don't know if you can sense it. I'm trying to craft and smooth out this safe place where I can take your mind off of whatever that is, or where you could let your shoulders relax. I'm going to brush the dirt off your shoulders here. And those things I'm going to do, is I'm going send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use a lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, rusty meanders, as Paul Bae from the Big Loop likes to say, “Creaky meanders,” even.

Scooter: Also my meanders are probably dusty, too. And I say, “How'd they get so dusty?” And you say, “Well, you've never dusted them.” And I say, “Still, they're just sitting around here, meandering. I don't know how they got dust on them. Does that happen to anybody else? Anybody? Anyone?” You say, “How'd that covered?” Like I have a plant. Okay, let's come back to that, the dusty plant, there's a book already written, could already write itself, The Dusty Plant.

Scooter: Okay. Maybe that'll be an episode coming up. Okay. Where was I? I didn't mention my affinity for Paul Bae, Big Loop podcast. Oh, the intro. Oh, what am I going to do if you're new? I'm going to try to keep you company while you fall asleep. Now, this podcast doesn't work for everybody, but give it a few tries. You might at first try to figure it out, or expect it to be more mystical, or magical, and I'd say, “Well, you'll be in for a ride, a bit of a confusing ride.”

Scooter: Kind of like one of those rides where you're like, “Did the ride start?” They say, “Okay, everybody exit the ride.” And you said, “Did that ride ever start? I don't know.” And they say, “Yeah, it was a simulator.” And you say, “Well, what'd you simulate, because I didn't sense anything happening?” This podcast, I noticed some new people sometimes that when you first get here, naturally you want to figure out what's going on. You could try, but try to figure it out from a little bit more comfortable position.

Scooter: I don't know if you can hear the way my voice is changing. I'm moving my shoulders around. You don't need to do that, but I'm doing it. Why? I don't know why. Because I said … I don't know I was trying to simulate … I don't usually move my shoulders when I'm relaxing, but actually this kind of is relaxing here. But anyway, if you're new, give it a few tries. Here's the structure of the show, so here's what to expect.

Scooter: First few minutes of the podcast are business, that's how we keep the show going because it takes 70, 90 hours a week to make the podcast. So it's definitely not magic, it's mostly work. Fun work, sometimes, but that keeps the show going. So sponsors and the patrons are the ones that enable that work, so thank you to them, and thank you for listening to that. Then we have, in the credits of all the people that help out on the show, too, of course.

Scooter: Then we have … I'm always remiss, I'm sorry about that. But okay, so we have the credits, and the sponsors, and stuff. Then there's the intro. We're probably four minutes or so into the intro. Intros are around 12 minutes, where the goal … here's a flow chart version. The goal of the podcast, so your one circle says, “Goal of the podcast intro. Introduce the podcast to new listeners, and remind regular listeners that it's a safe place.”

Scooter: Then that's when the lines start to get squiggly and swiggly. I don't know, I might be a little bit swiggly. That might be a new word for me. It also could be yet another Muppet. I've spent a lot of these intros inventing book titles and Muppets. I think swiggly though was involved with Grimace and not the Muppets. Though, that might've been the commercial arm of the Muppets, they were just … they say, “Well, that's branded content.” That's what they call it now. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Scooter: But if you're new, that's one of the things. So the intro is me. It's kind of like part of your pre-bedtime routine, or your pre-sleep routine. You throw it on, you start brushing your teeth, and I kind of ramble. And you'll say, “Okay, safe place. Crusty meanders.” No crusty meanders, believe me. No, no, no. That was a joke. Don't worry, nothing crusty about this show. It's creaky, and dusting, and maybe symbolically rusty, but not crusty at all. So don't worry about that.

Scooter: Sorry about using that word and then reusing it, trying to purge it from my brain. Yeah, but meanders are like a long winded way of me explaining the podcast, of reminding you the primary purposes for it to be a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake. But here's the next thing. Oh, wait. I was going to tell you about the structure, but let me switch to the … but here's the thing. It's not a active setting aside.

Scooter: I'll do the setting aside for you, so there's no pressure for you to pay attention. I'll say, “Hey, let me set that aside for you. I've got a doily here, and a coaster to put it on, and I'll rub that crust right off of there for you, you won't even noticed it in the morning, so don't worry about it.” So you don't need to pay attention to this podcast, but there's also no pressure to fall asleep.

Scooter: I say, “Hey, let me … just give me your attention for a few minutes. You don't really need to listen to me, but I'll be here the whole time to keep you company, whether you're awake or asleep, whether you wake up in the middle of the night, or you're just having a little trouble getting settled in, I'm here to help. I'm your borefriend, and so that's the kind of structure of the show.

Scooter: But I've interrupted the structure of the show for some points, and then so there's the intro. Then there's the story portion, where tonight we'll be talking about The Good Place, we'll be kind of recapping the details on the set and some factoids that came up. Fun fact, I got to look up most words in the dictionary, but some stuff that came up in the episode, but in a really sleepy, meandering way. This is a good place to sleep. Then the show ends with some thank yous.

Scooter: There's also business between the intro and the story part. So that's the structure of the show, and yeah, I'm here to help. You say, “What qualifies you to tell bedtime stories?” Well, I have dusty plants, as I said. I did, and honestly, I don't know what to do about it. If one thing about podcasts is you can be vulnerable, and relatable, this is the truth, I have a plant, and it's dusty, and it's a plant with a lot of leaves. It's some sort of … I think it's a bush, but it's some sort of flowering thing.

Scooter: I got it at the store, and it has a lot of leaves. And they said, “This one does really well under most circumstances.” I've been trying to keep it watered and talk to me, and I've been relocating it. Then recently, I took a look at it, and I said its leaves were pretty dusty. I have a air filter, like whatever you call that thing. Because I like my window open, I like a breeze of course.

Scooter: My air filter I hadn't changed out, so I didn't have that running, so that's probably where the dust came from, was outside-inside or something. And maybe it was something you could really tune here. We'll just talk, we'll pretend this is just a metaphor. Unfortunately, it's not for me, but you know. And at first I said, “Well, you're pretty dusty.” So then I said, “Let me move you closer to the window.”

Scooter: Actually, sometimes you can be empowered. I said, “Okay, what I need is one of those misters. That'll take care of the dust if I get a mister.” Even in a world where there's like you can talk to a speaker and order things, and get on the internet, for some reason sometimes, for me at least, this can seem like an incredible task. And I'm not playing this up. I said, “Where the heck am I going to get a mister. I'll have to go to the hardware store to do that.”

Scooter: Now meanwhile, there's a family owned, I mean, my family doesn't own it, but a family owned hardware store right by where I do my grocery shopping, but they have different parking lots. I said, “Well, then I have to go … how am I going to even get to that, in this going to a hardware store.” It feels so hard. I'll never get a mister. And I said, “Okay, Scoots. Let's just … we've got to go to the big grocery store, let's put it on a shopping list. Maybe they have a spray bottle with mist setting.”

Scooter: Not just a spray bottle, because I've made that mistake before with mistability, but maybe they have one of those at the grocery store. Then I said, “Well, I've got to make a shopping list.” I said, “Well, you just tell the speaker, then the speaker makes a shopping list.” So I said, “Oh, okay. I think I could do that.” I think this is called re-parenting or something. So I did that.

Scooter: Then I was at the grocery store, and I had a couple other things, because I don't like going to the regular grocery store, it's just too much going on, and too many brains. It's no wonder these can stick around. I mean, when I was a kid I was amazed that there was an entire aisle of sugared cereals, but now I say, “Whatever.” But I got there and I checked the app, and I said, “Oh, a spray bottle. Before we go, let me check and see if there's a spray bottle.”

Scooter: And talk about synchronicity. Low and behold, not only was there a spray bottle, it was the last one. It had instructions printed on the bottle, and it did describe its ability to mist, and it was a smaller bottle, which was nice because I said, “Well, I'm just going to use this to spray some plants.” Ideally I would watch a YouTube video first to learn how to spray plants. I didn't do that though.

Scooter: So that was a victory. I'd say it was both a moral and emotional victory. You got the spray bottle home. Now this had been, meanwhile, time had elapsed. I'm shorting things. So since the first time I noticed the dust, the time had elapsed since I got this sprayer. I'm just packaging it in a meandering story, because it's even longer than a meandering story. Then I filled it up with water, tested some misting out, misted some of the other plants that weren't as dusty.

Scooter: And I said, “What are you doing right that this other plant's doing … I love how your leaves don't accept the dust so easily.” Then I got to old dusty the plant, and I misted it, and I said, “I hope …” Okay. I'm sorry. It's just, sometimes you see your thought process and you're like, “Man, this is pretty ridiculous when you talk about it out loud.” I said, “I hope misting this will make all these dust problems go away.”

Scooter: Alas, it did not. But it did, I think the plant did say, “Hey, thanks for that mist. It felt pretty good.” I think it did pocket, it did cause the dust to concentrate. So I think what I got to do is wipe off the dust. Nobody told me this when I was at the Trader Joe's buying this plant. They said, “Hey, by the way, this isn't just … all or nothing thinking about plants. There's going to be some middle roads here. Some plants get dusty.”

Scooter: I think that was … was that a John Denver song that he sang with one of the Muppets I think? Some plants get dusty, and this here's a dusty plant, that was a classic. I guess I didn't learn the life lesson, and some plants have to be wiped. I think that would've been the better song for me. So I will wipe that plant, eventually. If the plant can hear me, eventually I'll wipe you. Don't worry.

Scooter: But it is a lot of leaves. So I'm going to have to think about that for awhile. And that meandering story is why … that's what qualifies me to make a sleep podcast, because those are the kind of things, you can see what I must be thinking about late at night instead of sleeping, if this is how … I mean, these are just the minor challenges I'm confronted with. At the time, they do seem pretty major.

Scooter: I mean, if you can relate to me, I really feel for you. Or if you have someone in your life you could say, “Wow, really, you have an emotional impact from a dusty plant?” I said, “Yeah, six weeks of emotional impact.” Now I've shared it with the world. Luckily I know you listeners well enough to say there's other people with dusty plants out there, I'm not alone. And you're not alone, whether it's a dusty plant, or leaky pipe, or you're in a hotel, or the person you love is out of town, or you're dealing with something. I'm here to help.

Scooter: While this podcast doesn't help everybody, I'm trying to be a friend to the people I can, and a distracting, goofy friend, to take your mind off stuff. Because to be honest, you're better of sleeping than thinking about the freaking dust on your plants. And that was like the unreleased deluxe version, that was like the last thing when John Denver … they switched from acoustic, River Bottom Fun Time band came in, and they did an electric third verse where they said, “Just go to bed. Forget the freaking dust on the plants.”

Scooter: I think that's what they said. Or maybe it was like a band battle where John Denver versus the River Bottom Fun Time band. Anyway, I'm here to help. That's my point, because I've been there. I really, truly believe you deserve a good night's sleep. I'm going to give it my best shot. Give the podcast a few tries if you're new, see if it helps. I'm glad you're here. I appreciate your time. I work very hard, I strive and a yearn to help you fall asleep, all right?

Scooter: Here's a couple of ways we keep the show going.