770 – Happily Enrobed Robe Shop

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, my Patreon peeps, it's time for the podcast that's here to enrobe you in lulls. And here's a question, do you wear a robe in bed? I don't think you do. You usually keep it by your bed, right? No, no, so can I enrobe you, and then when you de-robe, I re-robe you. It's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'll do the rest.

What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake. Whether it's the thoughts, the feelings, the physical sensations, the changes in time or temperature, stuff you're thinking about basically, anything you're experiencing physically or emotionally that's coming up for you. Or situationally. You could be traveling. You could have a change in your work schedule. You could, because of work, have to sleep during the day or in some sort … I've heard a lot of different stories over the years. It's always my honor to put you to sleep. To be here, to help you, those of you that I can.

And the way I do it is, I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use the lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders. A superfluous tangents, like extra stuff. I go off topic. I wonder about stuff. Sometimes I wah-wah wonder why. But sorry, it just popped in my head. Sometimes or always, I try to go with what comes up in my mind. But what I'm going to do is send my voice … oh, I'm going to try to take your mind off of whatever's keeping you awake. I'm going to use, oh, lulling, soothing, pointless meanders, I said all that.

I guess I forgot where I'm supposed to go next with the intro, but here's a couple of things. If you're new, welcome. I'm glad you're here. I hope this podcast, this will be a little bit of a … is this a primer? Like a welcome orientation? That's kind of what these intros are. 50% of it is, so if you're new, I'm glad you're here. This podcast does not work for everybody. But give it a few tries and see if it helps you. It's a little bit different.

Structurally what to expect is, show starts off with about a few minutes of business. That's how the podcast exists for free, so thank you everybody for that. Then there's an intro. Now the intro, this is a little bit different. It can throw some people off. It's a welcome, it's like a welcome center more than a … well I guess all the history of intros would be a welcome center. But so this is just one pamphlet on the welcome center. This one particular intro, and you'd say, “Hold on. That's not how a welcome center works.” And I'd say, “Well, is a welcome center the sum of a whole of its parts, or the parts of its whole, or something that is more sensible than that?”

So, the intros are around 12 to 14, to 15, to 11, to 16, to 17 minutes. And it's where I try to make a metaphor, explain what the podcast is. It is kind of part of the podcast. Now some people say, “Where's the bedtime story?” Right around 18 to 20 minutes normally, and there is a percentage of listeners, like two or three percent of people that skip ahead to the story, and then a percentage of people that subscribe to our Patreon and just listen to story only episodes. So there is a small percentage of people, you just want the story? Just skip ahead to 18, 20 minutes. But if you're new, you might want to stick around to see how this goes.

What was … oh, the intro. So, the intro for a lot of listeners is part of their wind down routine. Either while they're in bed or as they're in bed and getting ready. Just because it is part of a process, like you're going to sleep for some of us is a process would be a neutral word to describe it. You'd say, “It's more like a process,” like a lot of people's opinion about processed cheese would be more about, but you say, “No, cheese and bedtime, and beds don't mix.” Okay, where was … how'd I get so off topic?

So, oh, the intro's a show within a show. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Even though it's supposed to be, intro and welcome you, what happens is I go off topic a lot of times. So, yeah. So that's the intro. So then there's some business, then there's a story. Tonight as I'm recording this, I don't even know what the story will be. Be a little bit of an adventure. Be a little bit of an adventure. Could be anything. It'll be soothing. It'll be lulling, and it'll be here for you to keep you company. And then the show ends with some thank yous. So, that's the structure of the show.

Here's a couple other pieces of the thing if you're new. I think I probably already said this, but if you're skeptical, totally, I'd be skeptical, too. Or if you're unsure. Yeah, kind of try to consume it a little bit passively if you can. Like observing a magician from afar, and you're kind of watching the audience at the same time. And you're seeing clearly that magician's doing something, where if you're up close, you might say, “What is the magician doing?” Or, “How the … ” I don't know if that's a good, an apt metaphor or not.

There's a lot of books waiting for something, right? Or Waiting for Guffman, the great movie. But, mine would be waiting for an apt metaphor. I'd be probably sitting on a bench, much like Forrest. I guess maybe I'd be talking to people and mulling and soothing them. But where, okay. So that's the structure of the show. And so, this is kind of part of what works is, I get mixed up and my thoughts kind of cross lines. So, structurally … oh, I don't know what the story's going to be. Oh, consume it passively. But here's, there's no pressure to listen to me or to fall asleep. Clearly, I'm not always making 100% of sense. I'm just here to keep you company and to take your mind off of stuff.

And so there's no pressure to remember or to listen, and ideally, the show kind of supposed to work in two ways. Which is kind of contradictory is that you don't need to listen to it, and you could fall asleep at any point. And ideally, it's just distracting enough to take your mind off stuff. But also, if you can't sleep, it's just interesting enough also to be there the whole time. And that's kind of the other flip side, don't need to listen and there's no pressure to fall asleep because I'm going to be here for about an hour. And if you can't sleep, you could queue up episode after episode. I give this show my all, all the way to the end. For those of you that are asleep, in some ironic way, I really think that the completeness of the episodes lets you not listen. Full permission not to listen.

But also, for those of you that can't fall asleep for whatever reason, I'm here. I'm here to keep you company. I'm here to be your bore friend. Your bore bae, your bore bud. Your bore sib. I'm in the queue to apply to be your bore bestie. But I'm here to help. That's my point on that. So, no need to listen. No need, no pressure to fall asleep, and I'm going to be here for about an hour.

I did, in the teaser there, I talked about robes, and then I started thinking, I haven't had a robe in a while. And here's one question. If you have a robe, do you need a hat stand or a coat stand by your bed? I mean, I assume you don't, because watch enough … here, on TV shows, people wear robes, and in movies. That was another. That was a paper I wrote in college that did not make it. It was, because I just didn't do the research. The Cinematic Nature of Robes. A lot of times I come up with tittles for art or podcast episodes, or the papers, speeches. In delivering on those concepts, it turns out it's impossible a lot of times. But, I thought that was a good title. And I said, “Can't I get a C, just for the title? Isn't that a passing grade? Come on teach.” You know The Cinematic Nature of Robes, there's potential there.

So, that's like a C, and they said, “No, no. A D means it has potential that hasn't been delivered.” And I said, “Okay, do … well good enough.” No, I didn't. I said, “Well, I need a team of researchers is what … ” Hey, AFI if you're hearing this, what do you think about that? Right, the top, The Cinematic Nature of Robes. The list of 100 films and the robes that made them special. Or, the special robes that made … Maybe interview … I wonder if robes could talk, if that would be an episode of Everything is Alive. I was just thinking though, I was trying to give, I didn't think those standards would come up. I was just thinking, “Do I need a robe and where would I put it?” Would I use it? That's most the key thing.

Because if I put it on my floor, would I put it back on when I got up. I have a lot of neighbors that are even, like I live in a tight little area with, even if I walk my dog to the street, I have to pass a good number of neighbors in their windows. And in the morning, that's one of my number one priorities, other than getting caffeine in my system, is walking the dog, [Echoa 00:10:47] or right now as I'm recording this I'm dog sitting, so double duty. And I say, “Okay, I got to get out there.” We got to be the right temperature but I don't want to do too much work. I don't know why I think of putting on clothing as work, but let's be honest, it is. And so sometimes, okay, this might be TMI, but put it simply, I don't wear a lot to bed. I do wear boxers or whatever, or shorts. We'll just say shorts. That's a polite thing we can all agree on. But just one layer. Just because that's how I like to sleep.

So, when I get out of bed, usually I have to take care of personal business first, and I try, like I say, “Why, I don't need a … ” I say, “Are any of the blinds up? Probably not. Then I go and take care of my personal business. And then I might try to drink some coffee. And then I say, “Okay, wait a second. Now I got to get something on to take the dog out.” And so, a wonderful robe would be good for that. But then my neighbors would have to see me in a robe. So, I don't have pajama pants, but I have kind of multi-use pants you should never wear out of the house. And one of them is like a turquoise blue with pineapples on it, and they're baggy pants. I don't know where, I think I got them on a gag, but they're really good, like lounging pants. Or getting your pants on so you can walk the dog pants.

Except for esteemed people, or people that are worried … and my daughter doesn't worry because I don't think she knows, because she's still asleep, that he dad's rolling out in a winter coat, flip flops with socks on, and then these baggy pineapple pants. So, I guess a robe would only exacerbate that, because and also a robe is like a little bit, it does have some sort of intimacy or I mean, like a Jeffrey Lebowski would roll in his robe. And I guess, that's one reason they say, “Well, okay Scootch. Give me a breakdown of the differences between Jeffrey Lebowski and you.” And I say, “Well, I'm like I can't smoke or drink white Russians anymore. Other differences, I don't … okay, you got me.”

Good news, it looks like I could wear a robe. I'm going to be looking for a robe and maybe by the time you hear this I may be an owner of a robe. What if I went into a store, I said, “I'm considering robe ownership. ” That would be maybe a fancy store. Is there like, and I'm sure there's a fancy … where do fancy people get the robes? Nordstrom's? Is that … but that's probably fancy people are giggling and they say, “That's where the aspiring fancy people shop.” And then I would look at and I would say, “Well, I aspire to return, to see if there's any robes at TJMaxx then, because I just saw the prices of your robes.” Robes? Where we're going, we need no robes. So, yeah, I guess I'll get a robe because I guess I could wear it anywhere because that whole Lebowski thing, I'd say, “Okay, if they were shooting me and Jeffrey is, I'm probably move. I'm a little more spry and other than that, so I probably would.” Yeah, okay, so that's good news. I'll be robbed soon.

And maybe, so I don't know what my point was about that. But somehow this podcast, I think, I guess it was the beginning. You take off your robe. You get in bed, you get comfortable. And then I'm here to kind of make you more comfortable, or distract you from … you say, “Well, should I wear a robe to bed or not?” Clearly, robe's not designed for any tossing or turning. It would bunch up and stuff. So, I'm mostly here to give you friendly advice like that. Maybe, well I guess most robes are just an accessory, as part of a broader portfolio for companies. If there's a company that only made robes, I would say, “Make a robe that's made for bed.” I know that reverse blanket with arms probably … that's not a robe though. Yeah, anyway. I guess it's time for the intro to come to a close, and get to the story. Maybe I'll talk about The Cinematic Nature of Robes. Maybe I could do some brief research. Or famous robes, who knows.

But I'm here to help. I'm here to take your mind off, so like I said, this podcast doesn't work for everybody, but if you're new, we get a pretty good amount of listeners. And most of them say, “It took two or three tries before the podcast … I knew it was for me.” So, I hope it is. If it's not for you, I hope you find something that does help. You can reach out to me, if you do so with a modicum of kindness, and I could try to help you fall asleep. So, I'm here to help. I work very hard on this show because I yearn and I strive. I truly believe you deserve a good night's sleep. Thank you so much for your time, and here's a couple ways we keep this show going.

All right, hey, everybody. It's time for … this is interesting. So this is an episode where I … it's based on trying to find good ways to find different random ways to randomize the show. And I've also been testing this out with the local live show in the Bay Area. And so this randomization is based on Phish's Baker's Dozen which I kind of have stumbled on as a real treasure trove of this set, so just for randomization. And this if from Night 3, which took place on 7/23/17. And this is just used for the randomization portion, maybe. Maybe not. But it's not influenced by them. It's not about any of the lore or the backstories of the canon of those songs. Maybe, but in actuality, that's always kind of one-sided. But the other side of it's like, in order to keep the podcast free and everything, I do like to turn the podcast over to different businesses that are willing to either pay me in trade or can help and keep the show sustainable.

And so this is, I'm turning it over here. So this is kind of, a bit like an infomercial, but a kind of high end infomercial. So, without further ado, I present to you this episode on behalf of the company which he'll be talking about him. And also, if you take things too … this is just a joke, so just ease your mind. If I did that, I would have said it in the intro really, but here we go. Another sponsor, an imaginary sponsored episode.

Oh, hello. Come on in to Happily Enrobed. The robe shop where we'll happily enrobe you in robe. And I want to thank Scooter and everyone at Sleep With Me of having us on. It really, a pleasure to have you here in the shop. Come on in. And I'm just here to show you a selection of robes. You may say, “Do you only sell robes?” I'd say, “Yes, we … Oh, let me introduce myself. I'm Reginald Cusack. You could call me Reggie Cusack. You may ask if I'm related to Joan or to John, which I wish I was. It would be my pleasure but we really up and just Scooter asked the speaker person for a name of a random celebrity, and it did say John Cusack, Cusack, a Cusack. So, that was interesting. So you could say, I am related for hence my creation came.

But welcome to my robe shop. I've been selling robes here for a very long time. And the robe business is my business and my business is robes. And putting you in the correct robe. And we sell all non-gendered robes here. Just that's how I've done robes my entire life. Our robes are beyond the binary. As Scooter says, “Beyond. You could wear,” and the purpose of a robe and I've never understood is, as far as fitting. That's one issue. And you may have … The nice thing is, and to be honest, just because I'm in the robe business, don't take this the wrong way. You need more than one robe. And robes are a reflection. What other pieces of clothing do you get to wear that are truly a reflection of you for you, enrobing you? So that's why we don't believe in … we just sell robes to customers.

And we have our own tailors here, so say, well if you like that robe we say, “Well, let's see, what cut of … some of our robes come in a cut, a certain cut. But other ones don't.” So, I just wanted to explain that to you in the most clearest of terms. And you might be someone that says, “No, no, no. I don't delay,” well there are not plenty of robes shops out there, but there are plenty of shops that purvey robes. But here at Happily Enrobed, I'm happy to enrobe you in the correct robe or robes.

Another question that may have come up for you is, “What about professional robes? Do you?” And I'd say, “Well, they'll be professionally robed and not happily enrobed,” and that is a business I have considered but they say, “Well,” they think those are much more competitive. This is, we're a boutique. I mean, and we're online. We're looking to be the first auditory and aural, A-U purveyor of robes. We've had some popup shops, and they said, “Well, you need to establish your online.” I said, “Well, I'm going to pop right up in a podcast. And I'm going to sell the idea of robes, as opposed to for future sales.” But let's get down to it why don't we, and let me introduce you. You could not … Step right in here and I hope you're comfortable. We have a, would you like a … How is the temperature for you? I can make any adjustments you need.

Yes, and it's a nice … plenty of space here. This is our first robe that I like to start people out in. It's called the Sunday Morning, and a lot of people say it does look like a Sunday morning. Now, this is not limited to Sunday morning usage. But when you think of peak robe usage, Sunday mornings are in the competition with Saturday mornings. Although, in this age, Sunday morning is the new Saturday morning, if you're asking me. But they say, “Well, some people may have places to go on Sunday. Houses of worship or such things.” And so people might want to … why there's a lot of different things. Saturdays have become … Sundays are fluid. But this robe is how you would start off your Sunday.

And you might say, “What color is that? I can't quite grasp it.” And I'd say, “It's the color of Sunday morning.” According to Pantone, a number, you could probably figure out, mixed with another number to create that hue of Sunday. And you would say, “Is there a little gray in there?” I'd say, “It is.” Because you know Sunday morning does have a bit of gray. But we wanted to capture the feeling of relaxation. Of a breakfast, of leisure, and of possibility. What are we going to do this Sunday? Are we going to lounge, or are we going to go and do something? That's why this one … not all of our robes have tabs to hang. But this one does. Because you just might say, “Well, I got to get out of my robe. I got to get dressed.” And that's what this one's for.

Now, our next robe here, and yes we do have different robe zones, I like you called them. Or, robe cubbies. Those are not as small as a cubby. They kind of look, robe dressing room, so to correct you. That is correct word. This one is simple called Excela. And a lot of people say, “Is it kind of like excellent?” And I'd say, “It is. It is a bit like excellent. It's Excela.” And sometimes feel, I want to say it over and over again. And we have had two versions of this robe. But it's really one that when you look at yourself in the mirror, you say, “Well is that a silk or a … ” It is a silky material, and I'll just be honest with you. It has a bit of spandex in there. Not for the stretch, except in the elbows. We wanted to have a stretch there. It just gives it a nice, I don't know. It just gives the fabric a nice weight.

And you could be asking, “Is that a purple or a midnight black?” And say, “Yes, oh yes. We could shape this how you want it to.” But the key is really in the spandex in the elbows, for when you're in the mirror and you do some sort of move. We found in the past that there's something about a tight elbow, it pulling at the shoulder, that it creates this subtle feeling when you're in the mirror, that just helps you feel Excela. You just look at yourself. And this robe is about saying, “Looking good, feeling good. Excela.”

Now this robe, this next robe, I want you to have your eyes closed as I tell you about the name of it first. And then you start to picture it before you see it. The name of this robe is called Your Pet Cat. That's right. Your Pet Cat. And you may say, “I don't have a pet cat.” And I'd say, “Well, okay. Start to picture what that robe would mean to you.” Or you might say, “I have a pet cat,” or you're going to say, “Okay.” You said, “Is this robe a giant picture of your pet cat on the back, on the front? Does the cat's name inscribed on the lapels? Does it have a hood of your cat's face? We see, is there pockets for a cat, or is it something different like your pet cat?”

If you don't have a cat, maybe you want to feel like a cat, and you want to look like a cat, or you want to pretend like you're a cat. And this is what this robe could accomplish for you, if that's what you're picturing in your mind. So, it could be your pet cat, or it could be your pet cat. That's up to you to decide, but picture it on you. Picture how you're feeling. Is it triggering a memory, is it triggering a closeness? How should we do the belt? Is it going to be something for teasing your pet cat, having it chase around? We did have someone that had two laser pointers put into the sleeve of the robe that they could activate.

So, exciting things with Your Pet Cat, but kind of something that's always up to you to decide. And you might say, “Well, what material is this?” And I'd say, “Go ahead and just shrug your shoulders while you're in this robe. Now roll them back and forth. And now, stretch your hands above your head and say, “Meow, meow, meow.” Right, so it could be the robe for you. May not be the robe for you. But I guess it'll be decided.

Okay, let's step over here into this next room. Now this again is a dual purpose robe. Or dual theme robe, depending on what … we're here to enrobe you, based on your needs. We do have some, we have foundational robes, and this is one of the foundational robes. It's called Back On The Train. And if you're training day was … we can make some adjustments so it does feel more train-like. But this is more of a very metaphorical robe. Yes, you're right. And it is kind of a three way robe now. You might say, “What materials?” I'll say, “Well, it's a blend of materials, designed for someone that's just had an evening out on the train and they're trying to get back. Their version of Back On The Train.” He said that they're not feeling so hot. Maybe they had too much fun in the evening before. And this robe is meant to comfort them.

It is a very comforting material and the reason isn't just for that, and it's very wicking. Of course it's wicking. It has pockets. Now the pockets are, we've built a structure into the pockets, so if you were to put a water in the pocket, it has a support system, so you really won't feel the weight of the water. It's distributed over your whole body. Both pockets, even if they're off balance. The robe is also, yes a soothing color that is been … yes, that is the color, exactly. Oh, yes it is used in those locations, too, for soothing and comforting.

Wow, you really are, there is a yes, a little extra weight in the lapels for comforting, too, because also it serves two other back on the train purposes. And it's really for people who have reentered. So and it's not that different when you've reentered D-A-T-I-N-G-ing the day after you've had a date, whether the date is there or not. Independent of that, so whether you're saying, “Wonder how that went,” or you're saying, “Oh boy, that went good. Holy moly.” Or you're saying, “Well, I don't know if that was quite a connection. It's meant to kind of … and we can work again. This is not, we really do practice robe science. It's kind of meant to compliment your skin tones when you're feeling those feelings and those calming colors, so that when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, thinking any of those things. The robe's kind of again, just like if you were feeling not so hot from the night before, just an overall sense of well-being. That's what Back On The Train does.

Now this is a robe, and you might say, “I wouldn't expect this in a place that has wainscotting and all of these different things we've put in here to make our shop look … extra bunting. Well you say, “How many robe shops have bunting?” Well, I'd say, “How many robe shops do you know about? This one does.” So, but this is a robe, and again, don't … it's called How Many People Are You. And at first, it may seem like a gimmicky robe, because it is reversible. Yes, it is reversible. The sleeves come off. And that is, it is a gimmick in a good way, because it is a gimmick of saying, “When do you take the sleeves off of your robe?” Maybe you're on vacation or you want to be outside. Maybe your arms are warm. Maybe you're trying to make someone laugh.

That's why that reversible robe, is just when you put on the robe and you look at yourself. This is really just to give you one more option. And you look in the mirror and you say, “Wow, I knew,” like to help trigger a reminder to talk to yourself nicer. You could reverse this robe right away, instead of finding another robe. This robe is meant to kind of put you in a situation where you say, “Oh, okay. Looks like I got to mix it up today. I got to change it up. I'm feeling a little frowny.” And these are very contrasting but complimentary styles and colors.

And this is one of the only robes, it also does come with an accessory, because you may be looking at the belt hanging and say, “How does that, this is an infinity,” and this is an infinity belt. Yes, you do have to … it does add a … now here's the trick. You just pull it over your head. You don't step into it. Yeah, so it takes a little while adjusting, but it is an infinity belted robe. Because again, to remind you of all times, of all timelines, how many people are you? Of your limitless potential. I mean, those are just important things to us.

Now, let's just step over here. And now this robe is pretty simple. It's called a Glide. And you might say, and we do … now this is, and again I want you to blush. This is our top robe if you're going to be in the nude. We're like, the majority of our robes are meant to be, have some layer of clothing on underneath or not. Glide, you can have clothing, but once it touches your skin, you'll know why. And also, it does have, it is designed to say, no one would know. We do have other things, but this is meant for you. This robe is for you, to be nude underneath it. But it's no one else's.

So, you could have guests in town. You could have your Aunt Matilda there. And you could be wearing Glide and you'll be feeling, you'll be gliding. Holy moly. Because this is wonderful, wonderful material to have against the skin. But it's also, we do use different techniques of fabric layering to create a look. I say, “We're not in the business of trying to influence you if you put,” we say, “Well, just so no one would know. It's no one else's business.” I mean, if you're looking for a clingy robe, well someone would right away know. We do have our section, Robes After Dark and that is the podcast guy. He said he's writing a book about that, too, after his many other books titled After Dark. Robes After Dark.

He also asked me if he could, he said, “If you ever has a cigaro, could they come here and have … ” and I said, “No, no, no. This is an imaginary store anyway.” And then he laughed and said, he may have already visited then. Hardy har. And I said, “My goodness.” Okay, so, but this will get us back on track now. This robe is one of our more themed robes. It's called Theme From The Bottom, and what a robe it is. And it is very themed of deep under the sea. Any aqua person, any youngin, mer people, clam kings and queens would be happy to wear this robe, or just a person who loves diving, or water, or aquariums.

And it is an impressionistic view of the bottom, because it's a theme. And yes, you can see how it rises towards the shoulders. A work of art. We really worked hard with around the world sourcing. All our robes are sustainably sourced, by the way. Oh, but yes, because they're magic. Of course, because that's how we do it. You can see the beautiful tonal changes as we rise up. And yeah, that's meant to be evocative of under the sea, and I don't know. I find it, I think a lot of people find it delightful. Again, it's also very flowy, and this is again a robe, that again if you're on vacation or somewhere you're going to be using a robe outdoors, this one is meant to catch the wind. So, unlike a Glide, you would probably want a layer underneath it, because it's meant to kind of be, it's just meant to get a little wind, a bit like a sail or a bit like a flag. Just to kind of give that sea motion to it. But it is one of my favorite robes. I'm glad you like it as much as I do.

This next one is, this one is called … it's Ice. And you could say, there are hidden GOT themes there. Okay, okay, you got me. But we thought they were very subtly placed. Yeah, but this robe is, it's made from two materials. Kind of patent pending. But that it's meant to, if it's very warm like that, and this robe can be placed in the freezer or the refrigerator, like those towels. But it's made from a more robey material than those cool towels. And it's meant to, when you put it on, always be as cool as the other side of the pillow. If we sold just it's Ice, that's what we'd say. Always as cool as the other side of the pillow when you put it on. Even if it's not in the freezer or the fridge. You put it on, you feel a good funk. A really good funk of coolness. And yes, it does have, it has very cool themes and cool tones. And then yes, hidden is the north remembers and all those things.

Because we are a big fan of this now, as we said. I've said, “Finally, we're going to get you an After The Dark robe.” And this is one of our more ironically two termed robes. It's called More. And then, you can see that there's very little robe there. Because it's meant to, I guess I'm having, I'm flubbing my words here. But yeah, this is one of our robes, romantic robe. Or more, beyond romance. I guess you have more right to … but it's meant, in one sense to make you say more, or amore, while you're in preparation for the making of amore. Because it doesn't show, nothing can be seen.

I mean except this, well I'm the big … you show me an elbow, I'm going to start perspiring. And I know the podcaster. He is big on napes and the neck and you can't see the nape of the neck in this. But you can sense it. Oh, yes you can. So this is a robe, meant to entice you to want to see more. I guess that's pretty simple, right? And it's a popular … believe it or not, this is one of our best sellers. No, we don't have the Peter Sellers robe. We've thought about it. I don't know what that would be, because that would be really hard to define. You'd say, “Which Peter Sellers … ” think again. Oh, it could be a chameleon-like robe. That's a good idea.

Now, this is the robe Mr. Palmer's concerned with. This robe is called the ACDC Bag. And you might say, “I don't understand.” And I say, “Well, we hook in, we don't have a lot of themed robes, but we do like to have, this robe does have LED lights in it.” It is a rechargeable robe. We have a battery pack spread throughout the fabric of the robe, so it's not heavy in any one place, but both pockets have wireless charging, so that it could, it charges your phone. Now, you do have to remember to plug the robe in. But it does have over, I think it, what's it said? A 14,000 whatever the battery ratings are. And we've worked with a lot of good partners to create this robe. But we've found, that much like a … now this is a future, we've wondered if it would be effective to put it in all our robes.

But we just think the remembering, we don't want our customers to be frustrated by having to remember to charge their robes. Could you imagine your mother shouting down, “Honey, did you remember to charge the robes?” Or again, if you're in a partnership and saying it, “Why didn't you remind me to charge my robe?” We're trying to avoid those issues. But for the tech set, this is the robe for them, and it does sell very, very well. Yeah, there is a plus spot for placing your ear buds and those things. It is a wireless charging, especially for you. You don't want to have to worry about charging your phone if you're spending the day in your robe. Yeah, it's again, it's just a nice, a very nice feature. And we just thought that was a catchy name.

Now, this is another robe we've been working on for a while. It's called Puppy Sibling, and you know, we had Your Pet Cat. And this one is Puppy Sibling and it's again, you can close your eyes and kind of picture it. But, it's a little different. It's just meant to be a robe when you see someone. You say, “That's a really cute robe on you,” and we've worked, we said, “Well, what about if we would go with that length.” And again, we could change the length for anyone as you wish. And we thought about the different cuts we could make, as far as with the neckline and the shoulder line, and the elbow line. And again, we do a lot of research on the elbow line, and drapage of the sleeves, so you don't have to think about those things. And actually, you don't ever need to think about them, but for us, it's we want … our robes are not aerodynamic. But when people think about the aerodynamics of a vehicle or something, we think about the robe in a similar manner.

And Puppy Sibling is more of an evocative robe, but I think that title just sums it right up. At least it does for us. We've done a lot of testing. You'd say, “Well some do an A/B testing.” One we're going through, I mean, you should see the robes of the friends of mine. They have houses full of robes, because they say, “Can you wear this robe for a week, and just give me some words about how it felt.” And probably, this is where does it … we don't tell them the words ahead of time. But puppy came back a plenty of times, and puppy was what we were going for. So, I think we could say our mission was accomplished there.

Now this next robe coming up here is called Twist. And this is again, a party robe. Again, using them in textiles like spandex, Lycra. But here's the one thing that they're not going to tell you at other robe shops that don't understand to their customers as well as we do, this is also a working robe. It is a party robe or a working robe. You're never going to find yourself in a position where you don't have a little bit of extra stretch. So, if you're boogieing down, you've been partying, or dance. You say, “Well I like to go, this is my wedding is themed. It's a robed wedding.” I would say, “Great, give us a call. We'll help you furnish the entire wedding,” but where was I. What was I saying? I totally lost the track of my mind. Oh, this robe is the best if you dance, if you perform. Let's say you're a cellist. You could perform in this robe. If you're framing a cabin or something, this robe, you could wear it.

Now, it is a bit, the price point is a bit high, say for everyday work. But for weekend work, again, the right balance of fabrics if you're temperature comfort is well. And again, based on the idea that you're going to be twisting. Twisting around, whether you're going to be moving your core, moving your limbs. You're going to be bending over. It does hug. People will giggle when I say this. But this has a to the knee length and when it's cinched in the proper manner, it will hug your buttocks when you're bending over, in a way to ensure your core is tight. And we've accomplished that by really putting a lot of time and effort into the picking the right fabrics. It's something we're very, very proud of.

And I would say, if we were going to enter some for a award, a versatile robe, I love that word. I wish we had a copy editor as intelligent as you, because that is a beautiful word. Versatile is correct. Oh, I guess all our robes would be versatile, but this one in particular has a non-robe versatility. And utility. You could say, it's a utility robe, and a lot of ours are. If you think about it. That is one thing where my … and I don't mean to go off topic here. But where my passion for robes really became from was the stodgy idea, one that robe's a thoughtless gift, or something where you feel fancy in a hotel and you wonder if you should stick it in your bag. And then you'd say, “How many times am I going to walk around this … how many showers am I going to take in this hotel room, and wear this robe around it.” And this is part of this resort fee.

Or just a robe is just something someone else wears, or someone else in your family, a generation or two above you has worn. Or, is a robe is something … popular feedback I've found over the years is that it's like something, “I don't know what to do. Do I wear clothes underneath it or not? I'm too warm or I'm not warm,” or even the idea that a robe means you've, you have Lebowski come up, I heard Scooter talking about that. That you've kind of Lewbowskied it, and you're kind of at a point in life where you're letting life happen. I've tried to dismiss all of those things. And it's about respecting robes, and respecting people, first and foremost. And saying, “Okay, those are legitimate views of the robe.” But the robe is so much more. It can be so much more. It's just a layer.

But what is it when we have empty layers? What do we have? We have nothing. When we have the layer that gives us meaning, that it gives us purpose, that it gives us value. And again, it has an intimacy with ourselves, as it is reflective of us, that also allows us to reflect. In particularly, our … reflecting on a healthy relationship with yourself. Those are the things. I guess those are a few of my favorite things about being in the robe business. And I guess being at the forefront, or at the tail end. And you know when you're out on the margins of robes, you really don't know where things are heading.

But I hope they're heading to a new world of … you see me, I start to say, “Well, I don't see any pricing on your robes.” And I say, “Okay, we do have like a … ” now that's a teaser, but this is again, just one day when we actually have these shops and you come in. We'll already have you wearing the robe before we tell you the price. Or we'll also have a sampling robe, which is a very, very … the most soothing robe we can possibly create so that when we tell you the price, you'll be very soothed and then you'll say, “Oh, because the value of a robe cannot be understated.” Or overstated. Neither nor neither. Okay, let's move on, you're right.

Just a little bit about me and robes. That's where, I can set in and tell you my personal history but it was from, again, there's nothing wrong with a white robe. But, why stop there. And how many reality tested non-hotel? Is that a situation that is sustainable, or is it just a dial in gift, a white robe? So yeah, I guess I have strong feelings about it.

Okay, so where were we. Is here with another robe. Now again, guests at a vacation is one thing we do see and this is a beach vacation robe, and it is a multi purpose robe. It's called Waves. And it is meant to be worn to the beach. It does have a lot of beach friendly amenities. It has a special fabric that dries very quickly, wicks moisture away. It doesn't … it easily shed the sand. It does have an SPF of 45, but it doesn't cover the whole body of course. And we tried to put it in a style and colors that just pop, so that when you go to the beach, you're not quite a neon but we were going for that, because we said, like a day-glo, right? Where you get to the beach and you've already drawn attention, if you want to. If not, you just have the confidence and you're matching the brightness of the sun.

And hopefully that brightness is steering into you, and you're saying, “Okay, I'm ready for the beach.” It does have some very nice pockets. It is not good for a towel, but it is good for a sit down. And it also will cinch into a carryall. So that if you decide you're not going to wear the Waves back from the beach, but you want to carry your wet towel or stuff, you can cinch it right into like a bag. And it goes, you see the belt, it does turn into a … you just sling it right over your shoulder. It's very cool. It's something we're very proud of here.

Now, this next one is an expressive robe, and I want you to close your eyes and think about what you want to express when I tell you the title of it, which is Miss You. This is a robe you will send out to … when you're feeling that, when you're missing someone and you want to send them a robe, and send them a message. The message is, “I miss you.” And what could be a better reminder? And what could fly in the face and in return, when you finally … if it was a Mother's Day or Father's Day gift, or birthday gift, when it is actually a usable, comforting robe, and it is now, here's where the rubber the rub …

If you look on the inside of the robe, it's not just the inside. None of our robes are just the other side of the material. But at the very least, there's different places where hidden in stitching is Miss You, but this is also a customizable robe. So there is room on the inside for favorite poems and favorite sayings, and thresholds things. So, that's nice.

Now this next robe, you might find it like a confusing title at first when you look at it. But when you wear it, you'll know what I mean. The title of this robe is Boogey On Reggae Woman. And the reason is, just go ahead and put it on. You'll see. That is a Stevie Wonder track. A very well known Stevie Wonder track. And it is a robe that makes you feel very … it's a sensual robe. Let's just put rubber to road nuts or whatever. This robe, and again, this is the one that does, and again, a very adaptable, but it does cling where you want it to cling. But clinging away, that is just hinting. And you say, “Oh boy, oh boy, this is a … ” and it does make you want to dance.

The idea is, this is an esteem building robe. So when you see yourself in it, you want to boogie on. And I think, something we've learned to have you here in full disclosure is by titling the robe. Hopefully it does become a self fulfilling thing. Having a title like this, it does help you say, “Okay, I'm allowed to boogie on here, when I'm in this robe.” Or when you're out of it, whatever that may mean, hubba, hubba, hubba.

Now, we wouldn't be … if you'll step over here. We wouldn't be in the robe business without velvet. And some people like velvet, and some people love it. Some people like it crushed, and some people like their velvet in other manners. Now, this robe is designed for the velvet lover. Whether you're that lover or someone else. This is Wading In The Velvet Sea, and it has many layers of velvet on the inside and the outside. Now this is a great winter robe. The velvet is nice, it does help you stay warm. But it doesn't get too hot. But if you just want to feel like a padded, like you're wading in the velvet sea, this is the robe for you.

And it does have this giant hood you can pull up, to really create an all encompassing situation, where you feel like you are wading in the velvet sea. Luxurious without a doubt. We don't use the luxury word around here very much. It gets used … if you're coming to a robe store, you don't even have to assume. And this is not just velvet. This is the highest quality velvet. Hand selected velvet, and again, in velvety colors that really help keep enthusiasm high. So, that's Wading In The Velvet Sea.

Now, this is our last robe for the day and it's been a pleasure serving you, showing you these robes. Talking robes to someone so receptive, really, really, it's been a pleasure. And this is our final robe. It's called Sweet Jane, and this is a title we weren't always sure on, maybe because again, yes it is a take on a smoking jacket. You're very … now, we don't, not everyone notices that. And that is why we're comfortable calling it Sweet Jane. Otherwise, we'd find it a little bit diminutive or something. But yes, it is a nod to the modern day smoking. But you don't need it, to be a smoker, to wear this. We find that this is an evening robe, so it is designed … and it is a throwback, the cuts to the cocktail hours of the past, but in a reinvented, these colors aren't muted. We said, “Let's do away with this muted colors.”

We are trying to throw off that old legacy of robes. Even the smoking jacket, we want to subtly approach it in a way that's open to all. The only way you'd notice if like you, you said, “Well, Sweet Jane, is that a smoking jacket?” Otherwise, go ahead and take it, try to take it on with a fresh eye. It's just a basic jacket, but it's a little bit more form fitting for a robe. And it's also very … now this is one of our most washable robes. You could almost say, “It's an apron and robe in one.” Because it is, and it is … it has extra thickness. So let's say you're making a pasta sauce. It splashes on the robe. You won't feel that splash. The material will absorb it, but it's very washable.

Or I guess, if you're using it. If you're lying around giggling with Twinkies or chips, or something. You're covered in them. The robe is just suited for that. It's really a robe you could eat dinner in. You could play the guitar in, or you could just chill in. You could wear, and this again because it is so cleanable, and it does have some metallics in there, so you have to put the de-microbials, so this could be worn extensively. And while we don't suggest that, in all of our testing there were people who were wearing these robes as almost like a smoking jacket, for time and time on end. And the feedback we got was very, very, very satisfactory.

So, yeah, so that's your robes. And again, today is just an introductory trip here. And one day, we'll come to our town. We could suit you, we could enrobe you in a robe. But, it's been my pleasure talking to you, and on behalf of all imaginary Cusacks everywhere, this is Reginald Cusack for Happily Enrobed. Goodnight.