769 – The Long Night | Game of Drones S8 E3
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary. And, my patron peeps. At Center for Sleep we make podcasts you make possible, patrons. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and goodnight.
Hey are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep with Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do the bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake. Whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature, routine. What else? Try to take your mind off whatever's keeping you awake.
It could be anything physical coming up for you. Anything you're thinking about, or anything you're experiencing emotionally. Or, you know, anything else that's not those things. Sometimes, a particularly well-sleeping partner nearby. You know, I'm here. I say, well that's not exactly the most sleepiest thing for me. Am I right, or am I right? Elbow, elbow, elbow. Excuse me, with your wonderful sleeping, lovely face, so relax.
You know, we're here trying to get to sleep too. Actually, believe it or not I'm really here to take your mind off all that. What I'm going to do is I got this safe place where we can speak in somewhat of confidence. It really is a safe place, but there are faux and imagined elements to it. Just like Main Street USA. Am I right, or am I right?
It feels cool. Also, has faux elements. Nothing wrong with some faux elements. Actually, faux elements, that may be a new word we may have to repurpose, because that is a sleep podcast word. Especially if it's one word. [Fauxelements 00:02:14]. Hopefully I'll remember that, and we can come back to it.
Also, I can hear elephants saying, “What, you're going to talk about us,” because it's very similar. I'd say, “What species is a pink elephant from that movie that I saw as a kid, when I was half-asleep? Were those faux elements?” The pink flying ones, or whatever. Oh, is that, are they in the Tim Burton movie, because I haven't seen it yet. Okay, thanks to all the faux elements out there.
Oh, wait a second. Sorry, I just got interrupted by a periodic table too. Actually, believe it or not, periodic table. Believe it or not, you are a sum of your farts. Sorry. I did not mean to say that. I guess the sulfur is on there. Isn't that an element? And, probably a few other ones. Is holy mackerel… That would be on the faux element. The periodic table of faux elements, huh?
Did you have Robert's rule point of order or something? Okay, well I'll have to get back to you. Well, I know you wanted to talk to me about… So, you're proposing that your periodic table… Would it be on one of those boxes below, or to the side? Would you say I had one more of those? Like, we could have the faux elements. They don't have to be in your proper thing. Maybe, I don't know, somewhere within viewing distance of helium. Like, if you have helium.
Here's another question. Is pyrite on the faux? Could we put that on? That's not even a purposeful pun, but we could put that on faux elements. Cubic zirconia? No, okay. Well, I'll be back then. Sorry. New listeners, sorry about that. Usually I stay on track. Or, actually, no, I don't. Usually, this may be the first time I've been interrupted by a periodic table. Oh, excuse me, the periodic table. You talk about a capital P. No wonder holy mackerel's not on you. It's above. It's used in the Yelp reviews of…
No-no, I'm not looking to have a contentious relationship with you. It's just I'm trying … Okay, here. Maybe I can explain it to you, then, periodic table, as if you're a new listener. So, Sleep With Me is a podcast. It's here to put you to sleep. I send my voice across the deep, dark night using lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders. I go off-topic, which you've been a part of. Congratulations. You're officially part of the show.
The whole idea of the podcast is to take your mind off of stuff while you drift off. It's more a podcast to be here as you fall asleep than to put you to sleep, but what else might you know? Good questions. These are two good questions. I'm happy to field them.
Okay, a couple of things to know coming into it. If you're new, structurally, show starts off with business. That's how we keep it free. If you don't like ads, consider becoming a patron. That also helps keep the show free. Then, there's the intro. Now, unlike a normal intro, or an efficient intro, like in the periodic table you say, well this is the letters, this is what we're talking about. This is how many electrons, and whatever mass you got. Or, you know, protons. I don't know.
We're not that efficient. You see, the intro is the beginning of the show, first 14 minutes or so. It's to help ease you into bed, and bedtime. As you get ready for bed, as you're winding down. You know, I take my time trying to figure out how to explain the podcast. Naturally, as I'm explaining it things come up and pop into the studio. Today, we're lucky enough…
Watch this, listeners. I'm going to try to do some late repertoire-building. Today we're lucky enough to be joined by, not just a periodic table, but the periodic table of elements. Oh, wow. I don't think I've ever seen anything more informing, more useful, more related to all the things of life. I say, I look at myself and I wonder. I wow-wow wonder what parts of the periodic table exist in me. So impressive, so familiar.
Actually, not to derail my complimenting of you, but is the periodic table cross-cultural? Because, that would be important to me before I pump you up too much. I say, well I'm just operating from my viewpoint, my narrow cultural window. I'm sure people will answer me. They say, well actually it is, or you could be… The only reason I bring it up is because you can be even greater, and more. I'm sure you don't need to worry about the people that don't believe in that periodic table or whatever. Maybe that's what the faux elements would be.
I'm glad you're here. That was the main thing. That's what I always say to new listeners to. Show starts off with a few minutes of business. Then, tonight is the GOT, Game of Thrones-themed episode. Now, if you don't watch the show, I just spoke to the editor, [Carl 00:08:19], the legend. Carl edited almost all of our Game of Thrones episodes over the past three years, four years, and never seen an episode of Game of Thrones. So, Carl edits the show, and doesn't watch it.
You don't really need to see the show. If you're worried about being spoiled, I guess you could hold off a week or two. Really, I don't think you will. Then, these shows are a little bit longer because it goes to episode recap, stuff that came up, they investigated, Tommen and Pounce and prayers, old gods and the new. So, these are pretty big episodes. Just like the Game of Thrones season. It's actually giving even more time to fall asleep.
That's a little bit about it. It's a structured show. Then, there's some thank-yous at the end. There's business between intro and the episode. That's another way we keep the show going. I think, so that's a structured show. Also, no pressure to listen. Whether you've got ears or you have some elemental ears, and they are lovely.
You know, I never wondered, like, elven ears and elemental ears; two different things, but they make me think of one another. Oh, there's no such thing as elemental ears? Well, I added it to the table of faux elements. Maybe we'll just call it… What letters are open for elven ears? That could be a faux element. Could we also have a metaphorical, like, could that be part of the periodic table of faux elements?
Like, you say, well these are our metallic ones, these are our metaphorical ones. What would a metallic faux element be? I'd have to look through the crayola crayons to decide. I think maybe the golden dragon scales, maybe. Sparkly chameleon? Those would be two metallic faux elements. Platinum bronze. You know, that's two different elements. No-no, not in this case.
Oh, anyway. Sorry, get back to the listeners. If you're new, including periodic tables and all the little elements who may be listening along with their periodic table, hi. Oh, hi. Good to see you. Don't know what GA stands for, but in my book it stands for great, or GR, or any… Right. I don't know. Barium. I'd like to have it every day. Okay, that joke didn't… I think it does kind of work. I mean, here at the faux elements table, we're putting in the Py in pyrite. You know what I'm saying, right? I'm pandering to the little elements sitting there cracking up.
If you're here, structurally that's what to expect. This is a podcast you don't need to listen to. Definitely don't take it seriously, because it doesn't make any sense, doesn't really go anywhere. It's just here to keep you company as you drift off. What else? Don't need to listen. Oh, no pressure of falling asleep. These shows are well over an hour, and I'm here the whole time to keep you company. You drift off when you can. If you can't, I'll be here. If you wake up two hours from now, I'll be here too. You can cue up multiple episodes if you need it.
I'm here to help. I'm here to keep you company as you drift off. To be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz. You know, your elemental familiar, if you don't mind me getting too… I may not be familiar with elements, but I'm an elemental familiar. I think that's, like, yeah, and I'm as friendly… That could be a song, like, friendliest of faux elements.
Here's something. You know, they used to have, what were those things called? Not the pound, not the puppies. What were the, oh, Care Bears. Couldn't we have a show Faux Elements? Could they be an opening band for, if care Bears go on tour? Care Bears tour. Opening act, the Faux Elements.
Okay, so I'm glad you're here. If you're new, here's the thing. Almost every reviewer says it took two or three tries to get the idea that this podcast is out there. So, give it two or three tries. I'm just here to help, like, really no pressure on your end to like me or the show. I just hope it helps you fall asleep, but it does not work for everybody. I hope it works for you.
If you're looking for other options, or you strongly dislike the show, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That has all their other, not elements now. Oh, you silly elements. I'm here to help. I really work hard, and i strive. I appreciate you checking the show out, and I really want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by. Here's a couple of ways we keep the show going.
All right, everybody. Season Eight, Episode Three of Game of Thrones. Kind of. We'll talk a little bit about it. This episode, I don't think there's any way not to get spoiled for me to even talk about it at all. I did feel spoiled in the sense that was really an amazing. I've watched the episode three times. It's playing again here, and it was really one of the more amazing experiences I've ever had. The first time watching it was really… It was just a great hour-and-a-half, or hour-and-twenty-minutes of TV, movies, whatever you want to call it.
Let's see. Opened no last time. There was no last time. Previously, on the Game of Thrones or whatever, it just opens after some HBO cross promos. This is the first opening I was paying attention to the sky, initially, as we go through my notes here. You say, but the sky, I just noticed the sky. Opening's really nice. You can see the sky through the wall. Is that a mountain, or a giant moon? Then, I put, wow, W-O-W. No, it is curved. It really says, there was no sky at all. It was the curvature, like, of the Earth. Instead of being a globe its a inside of a sphere we're going through. Yeah, this was the first time I was noticing it.
Arriving… Okay, is this what I expected? This is about the episode? Okay, yeah. So, this episode was called The Long Night. You know, when it started I didn't know what it was going to be called. Yeah, because it didn't have a name when I watched it the first time. Like, the last episode is called The Night of the Seven Kingdoms, with a K. Now, it's a Long Night. It seems like they do that with similar titles sometimes, or playing with the titles. I don't know if they like to do that or what. I like doing that, so I appreciate it.
This was so much more than I expected. It wasn't what I expected. Though, there were things I did expect. I'm sure if you watch the episode, or you heard about it, or you're going to watch it you're going to have a lot. you say, what's Scoots going to talk about? You know, before I came out I said, “What am I going to talk about?” Then, as I watched it I was like, “Okay, I guess I could do a five-minute episode of Sleep With Me.” Then, I was thinking, like, you know how you do those tale of the tape episodes. There's something in the back of my mind that was familiar. Even though everything… The music. Holy cow, the music. The sound design, acting, directing. The misdirection, the writing. It was all there.
There was just something in the back of my mind where I was like, wait a second. What about this is so familiar? It really got lucky as far as recording this episode, because I realized that… I said, wait a second, is a Long Night? Then, they said, no-no, that was what they brought. I said, a tall night. That was what Brienne's episode could have been called. Hardy-har-har. But, I said, no. The Long Night. Then, I said, oh wait a second.
So, in the '80s there was this small genre of film, this ski comedy. It was the glory days of skiing before snowboarding made skiing and snowboarding super-popular. It was considered, I don't know. You say, what about taking that comedy? It was about Summer camp, and we can't come up with any new ideas. Let's just put that in the mountains, and we'll call it something else. They said, great.
There was this one great '80s ski comedy called Snow Down, The Long Night. Again, it was direct to video. Nobody's probably heard of it, because they can't find anything else about it. I think it got taken. I don't know. But, I remember the movie. I must've watched it 85-90 times. Though, somehow on the first watch of this episode I didn't remember it, but I said, okay this works because I could just go through what I remember from the plot of the '80s comedy movie, Snow Down, The Long Night.
Snow Down, The Long Night, was actually Snow Down II. It was about two different competing ski resorts. One called Winterfell. I don't know how I forgot that either. Now, this was in the '80s. It has nothing to do with present day, but it was called Vail. It was someplace in Colorado. No-no, it was Aspen. I'm sorry. I get all those mixed up, so it was Aspen. I don't know if Vail in Aspen. Okay, no. It was Aspen. I don't know why I get that mixed up. I've never been skiing in Colorado, believe it or not. One day, or snowboarding.
In Snow Down I, it was called The Snow Down. It was about these two competing ski resorts. A family-run Northern resort, Winterfell. Then, Aspen, which was getting run by… Usually like a haven for the rich, and famous. They wanted to take Winterfell, plow the mountain and build a runway for private jets to land. The big movie was about how Rob, who was the star of the Winterfell family, starts. Family-run resort, and went up, raced… Or, was it Benjen? I don't know. Or, was it Ned? I don't know.
One of the older starts was in a race for the rights to Winterfell, you know, because they get suckered. The Vail, the Aspen people, they've suckered them somehow. Then, the Aspen was the family. I don't know. We'll get into it, because it's in this movie too. That's just basically an attempt to do this. This was a lot of Snow Down I. They say, Winterfell was saved. They weren't ready to let it go. They said, wait a second. Then, believe it or not, the Aspen's, in between the first movie and the second movie, learned not only that, okay, because of the way things changed they said, “Oh, we're not going to be able to expand. Only if we buy the existing resort.”
They say, “We can't build anything new now because there's new regs.” They found out Winterfell was worth its weight in gold, and they were going to take over Winterfell. Again, much like a lot of these '80s movies they said… Well, first there was hand-wringing going on. That was how the first, how the movie opens. We see Sam, who is, like, one of the kids went away to school at [Wall 00:21:36] Academy. This was one of his best friends. That was Jon. Jon Snow is his best friend. Sam, you know, book smart but not street smart.
Sam is just wringing his hands, because this is the Snow Down. Like, the Olympic edition, because this was around the Olympics. They were going to have all these competitions to see, for the rights again to Winterfell, or to Aspen. This one, Winterfell would win Aspen, or Aspen would win Winterfell. There was four games scheduled, but the movie reveals them in stages. The first one is just this Snow Down. Which is kind of like a snowball, snow fort fight, until one team just gives up. It's like a snowball fight until one team gives up. They say, “Ooh, I want to go inside, and then get warm or whatever.”
We're in Winterfell. You know, they don't have the corporate money; the investors. They're all getting ready, and Sam's hand-wringing. He gets handed one of those trowels, because he's supposed to be shaping snow for the snow fort, or shaving snowballs. We start to go through scenes of everybody getting ready, because they're getting their snow fort ready, making sure the snowballs are ready.
We see that the younger siblings, like the little kids, they have to go into the, because this is like… You know, you say, well, it's for fun but it's also for the family business. All the younger kids are going to go in and have hot cocoa. Now, not young Leanna Mormont. She says, “No-no-no, I'm staying.” You know, she's cool and she's tough. We see Tyrion, who once worked for a family that had a ski resort in the South.
You haven't seen the movie. It was very similar to Game of Thrones, though. He found out he was banned from the games because he's too smart. Like, the Aspen said, “That Tyrion's too smart; can't participate.” They said, “Because of the technicality that he was once married to Sansa, and also a member of a family that owns another resort. We start to see all the forts. All the kids are getting ready. Good to go. Tyrion grabs the stuff. We see Bran, the youngest Stark, and the iron born, and Theon. This is a second game.
Either one of these two games, if you win it, you win the whole competition. Just a couple sub-games that I don't know, they're just in there to fill the plot out. This one, so Bran's the youngest Stark. Then, somehow the Aspen's get to pick the rules, so the oldest Aspen and the youngest Stark. If one of them gets hit by a snowball, the other team wins. Kind of like Capture the Flag or something like that. In this case you just have to hit Bran with a snowball, or the older Aspen, who calls himself the Aspen King, The King of Aspen, all those things. He's the greatest skier in all of Colorado.
Where was I? We see Bran and Theon getting ready. That's just another rule thing. Everybody's getting ready. We see Davos. You know, he used to run in the kitchen. He's the Onion Knight, they call him. We see Sansa and Arya through the Stark kids. Sansa's got side eyes going. Two of those, something snowballs. Oh, two hounds. We see two hounds. What are those hounds called? The ones, [Benjermen 00:25:45] hounds? Whatever those are called. Two of the biggest ones. The dogs that, they carry the cask around their neck.
We see two of them, and we see snowball launchers. Then, the Dothraki kids that, they joined up with the Starks. Some of this you could figure out, but they were going to work with the Starks. They're on bikes, and they're Winterized bikes with skis. Then, we see Pod, Bran, Jaime, Grey Worm. Grey Worm's got the unsettling dance crew. Tormund… What does that say? The Hound. Tormund. Oh, Beric, The Hound, Gendry. We we Ed. Sam shows up late for the snowball, you know, the kickoff for the Snow Down.
They're waiting for the Aspen kids and their crew to show up. It's quiet. Quiet as a Winter's night. [Azor 00:26:51] is there with one of the Stark's loyal dog,[Wolfiepoo 00:27:00]. Then, the red, this women they call is a Red Woman. She lives on, like, the one street, the cul de sac. She shows up, and everybody's dismissed her in the first movie. Except for a couple people who are nice to her. That's why she shows up.
Then, we see the Winter romance. Jon and the Khaleesi. There's some tension between them. Now, the Khaleesi's a character very much like Olivia Newton-Jon's character in… What's that movie called? Grease. She showed up, and she's this great skier from Europe. She threw everything off. Everybody had a crush on her. Everyone wanted to date her. Jon finally finds out she's his aunt, because he went to the library and said, “Hey, let me check my family tree.” They said, “Oh, did you know that Khaleesi, that super-great skier that's so popular, she's on your family tree?”
That's a little tension between the two of them. They have those hounds. They're going to ride them in a hound race. What are those called? I forget what they're called. I want to call them [Benjermen 00:28:16] Hounds, but I know they have a name that I just can't remember. Davos sees the Red Woman. She gave him, I think he delivered something to her house once and she tipped him five cents on an $80 food, pizza order. He's never been happy about that.
She goes up to Jorah. Now, Ser Jorah, he's like one of these super-experienced, old school skiers, but he also had a crush on Khaleesi. Now, he's leading, like, he's trying to help. The Red Woman says, they had all these super soakers with warm water in them, and it's a perpetual warm water machine. Battery-operated. All the batteries are charged. They have them for all the Dothraki kids. He says, “For what?” She says, “To melt their snowballs.” He says, “Holy cow. That just might work.”
At first, Jorah doesn't buy it, but he comes around. She gives him all out. She also has glow sticks. She says, “It's dark out. You can't be riding your bikes.” He says, “These are great glow sticks.” Everybody's pumped up. They go, “We can just melt their snowballs and avoid this whole thing. Send the Dothraki out, beat the rich kids from Aspen and it will be done.”
The Red Woman says, “Grey Worm, Valar Morghulis.” He says, “Valar Morghulis. Onion Knight doesn't like it still. You can't tip five cents on an $80 order.” She says, “Don't worry.” He said that to her, and she says, “Don't worry. I'm leaving town tomorrow.” He goes, “Okay, whatever.”
Arya also has something, history with the Red Woman, but not related to food delivery. Lots of the Drathraki kids… Oh, they also start ringing their bike bells to really, like, really it gives cheer to everybody. Then, they head out and they actually coordinate, because they do this glow stick dove shape on their bikes. They launch the snow catapults in front of them, and it's a school bike squad. They're going to melt the things. You see all the glow sticks.
They head out. They're ringing their bells. Then, it becomes a little bit more intense, because they can't see where all the Aspen kids are, or how many kids Aspen's have gotten to help them. In a snow down there's really not that many rules. Then, all the glow sticks go out, all the bike bells stop ringing. A couple bikes roll back on their own. We find out that the Dothraki, they didn't get rid of any snowballs. Some of them got snowed themselves.
Jon wanted, bored Bran, Khaleesi, but Jon and Khaleesi are supposed to be in this race with the two dogs, riding the dogs. They're huge dogs. Don't worry, these are ride-able dogs. Then, Khaleesi says, no-no-no. He goes, “This dog race is a distraction.” Jon goes, “Yeah, we got to protect Bran from getting snowballed.” She goes, “No-no, we got to get into the Snow Down. We got to go to the Snow Down, where all the rest of the team is. Dothraki was my team, and I convince them.”
So, let's see. Grey Worm's ready. Everybody's ready. The kids from Aspen. They have tons of kids. I guess the kids from Aspen show up now, and they're throwing snowballs like you'd never seen it before. Again, there is one rule. Only throw a snowball you'd be okay with catching on your end. That is one rule, so that makes sure everybody feels comfortable staying within the rules. Yeah, there's a lot of snowballing. They have tons of hired help. Yeah, they say, “There's not that many kids in Aspen.” They say, “Oh, no? We hired help from out of town. Tons of it.”
We see Jamie… Bran… Jamie and Bran have some close calls. Really it's about just staying as dry as you can, because you don't want to get hit with too many and be wet. Then, you get cold. That's kind of a secret is, you just don't want to get wet and cold. So, Khaleesi signs up with Jon, with them. Oh, okay. So, Khaleesi didn't tell Jon. Oh, the dogs, they're Khaleesi's dogs. They sneeze a lot. They start riding among the Aspen kids, sneezing and slobbering, which does gross some Aspen kids out. Especially the rich ones, and they head home.
Again, amazing music. Then, Jon sees something that catches his eye. First I didn't know what it was, but the third time I figured it out. It was the main Aspen kids, the ones that are going to inherit the ski… You know, aspire to be like their parents, running the show. I don't know how their parents entered into this business proposal anyway. Maybe they inherited it, which means new movies. The Starks, they own the ski resort, so I guess maybe the Aspen kids do too.
I know two of them were Jake and Jacob, but I don't know the rest of their names. Then, their dad… Oh, so then Jon heads his dog towards them. But, they're rich, right? I guess maybe this was the last thing their dad did for them, was buy them snow machines. Talk about throwing off a snowball fight, is having giant, professional snow machines.
Jon, kind of like the sucker, flies right into the snow machine and gets lost. Then, so does Khaleesi. Now, Arya is just one of those Starks. She says to her sister, Sansa, she goes, “I just got something in gut that tells me you need to go where all the little kids are, and all the grandparents having hot cocoa. Go back there and keep an eye on things.” Sansa says, “Shouldn't I stay here?” She goes, “No-no-no. These Aspen kids are no good. They're cheaters.” That's what Sansa says. I mean, Arya. Sansa says, “Okay, I'll do it.”
Snow machine makes a huge mess. Then, we see Theon, Bran and the Ironborn, and they're ready to keep Bran from getting hit by a snowball. They have lots of snowballs. Oh, then there's this thing called snow washing. I don't want to get into it, but Sam gets snow washed. Ed tries to help him get back up, but then Ed gets cold and wet. Ed says, “I'm cold and wet. I'm going home just to get warm.” Sansa goes back into the house. This is a old farm house out on the estate. Well, it's not really an estate. It's just at the edge of the ski property where the Stark's all live.
She goes in there, and everyone's concerned, of course. They say, “How's it going? This is our property. We don't want to lose to the Aspen's.” Then, she says, “We don't want to lose our town.” Oh, yeah. Then, we see Missandei, gives Sansa a weird look. She's like, “Shouldn't you be out there helping? Why are you down here?” I think that's what her look said. I couldn't read it.
Everyone could read her face, Sansa's face, that things aren't going so hot. Tyrion, they think he's of age but he drank some wine. Yeah, Jon's so lost in the snow machine show he him and his dog bump into Khaleesi's, and her dog. Then, Tormund says, “We got to fall back to our snow fort.” At this point they're in front of the snow fort. It was really a snow castle, built around the Winterfell lodge and everything. He says, “Fall back to the snow forts.” Brienne says, “Fall back to the snow forts.” Leanna Mormont, she says, “Open the gates,” which they made from an old door.
Grey Worm and his dance crew, they try to keep everybody from getting hit by snowballs while they go into the forts. Like shields, kind of. Then, Jon and Khaleesi, they lose one another in the snow bank, or snow storm. Bran went to Jon, checks on… I think this means, I don't know what that says. Jamie and Brienne help one another. There's so many Aspen kids. There's great music too. Just too many Aspen kids.
Arya… Oh, she throws a snow wall at somebody chasing the hound with a giant shovel full of snow. Then, the Unsullied try to fall back. Fall back, they say, but the Unsullied stay behind. Most of them stay behind to protect, because they see that the kids just ran into the snow fort. There's so many Aspen kids, they could just take all the snowballs. The Aspen kids have Gortex on, so it's not like they're getting cold anytime soon.
Khaleesi's nowhere. Like [inaudible 00:38:32], he rang part of the plan. Oh, so then they say, they had this other plan, which was to light all these, like, these hand warming stations so everybody could get warm. Khaleesi's the only one. She's old enough that she was in charge of the adults. Said, “You can turn on all of the…” Because it's propane, “You could turn on all the propane and warming stations.” All the other people, they try to do it but they're just kids. They don't even know how to turn on a hand warming… You know, like a restaurant warmer.
Yeah, Grey Worm's out of breath. I noticed that. Red Woman shows up. Now, she's an adult. They say, “Wait a second.” She says, “Yeah, I can turn on propane. I'm an adult.” Then, there's so many snowballs, the Unsullied and Grey Worm have to escort her there. After she builds that up, she can't get the igniter to work, and it takes her a bunch of tries. I was going to count how many tries. Let me see. It may take a minute, but I mean, can you believe how closely this movie matches? I said, wait a second, is this like a shot-for-shot remake of a '80s ski comedy? I guess that's how it works out, huh?
Okay, there's Jon lost in the snow. Khaleesi fall back, open the door. Here she goes. Let's see. She's walking up, she's about to press the button. She puts her hand on the button, and she presses it once, twice, three times. I guess I can't do it. The closed captioning's not really good, so I guess, I don't know. Four, five, six times. Then, finally on the last one, right when they need their hands warmed, because it's really snowing now. I don't know if it's natural or the snow machine, but she gets it lit. Then, everyone gets their hands warmed, and catches their breath. They say, “Okay, the Winterfell kids are getting warm.” The Aspen kids are like, “What should we do? We need to get told what to do by the rich Aspen kids, because we're the hired, the goon squad or whatever.
Let's see. Hound, Beric… The Hound says, “This is enough for me, man. I don't know about this whole thing. Why am I helping? Even if you own a family-sized ski resort, you're rich. What am I doing?” Sansa's with her grandparents. Uncle Varys is down there. Let's see. Tyrion wishes he could be up there. He can't believe he got banned from the thing. Sansa says, “There's nothing you can do, or I. Witty remarks won't make a difference.” The truth… Must… She says this, “The most rogue thing we can do is to look the truth in the face.” I thought that was pretty great. She was talking about the economics. She's like, “It's kind of a bummer.” She kind of agrees with The Hound. She's like, “These economics, even our ski resort…” Everybody says, buzzkill.
We should have stayed. Oh, then they talk about, maybe we should just stayed dating, because those two had dated, or may have even been married. Sansa says again, she says, “Well, it wouldn't have worked out, because I know you have this thing for the Ice Queen, Khaleesi.” She forgets her best BFF standing right there… Missandei. Missandei says, WTF? I see, oh snap. That was more of a look with Sansa's face, said, oh snap.
Then, Theon looked exactly like Link from [whaddayacallit 00:42:39]. I'm not kidding. I don't know what the time is. Actually, it should be coming up here, but he looks exactly like Link from Legend of Zelda. Cool, very cool. He apologizes to Bran, and Bran says, “Buddy, you're here with your crew. We're your family.” Then, Bran says, “You know, I got to go. I got to go into my channeling in the bird zone.” I don't know what his birds did, so maybe they pooped on the other kids. I don't know. I don't know if this has to do with the next episode, or another one.
Then, we see the oldest, King Aspen on his giant… He's got his giant dog. He's trying to race. He says to the kids, “The walls of the snow forts are very high.” He says, “You want to get over those walls of the snow fort with a human pyramid, yo.” He goes, “Hand warming…” He goes, “Just make a human pyramid so you can climb over the walls and throw snowballs. What is my dad paying you for?” They say, “Okay, right away.”
Okay, here's where Theon looks just like Link, in case you want to see it. It's at 33:45, standing there just like straight out of Legend of Zelda. Very cool. They did a great job with Theon. So good. Then, the Aspen crew, they do a human pyramid. They start to get over the walls. Why did you not do that earlier? I don't know what that means. Then, Jon chases, then the oldest Aspen says, “What if we have a dog race to see who wins it all?” Really, just a distraction. The pyramids really start to work. Then, Snow Down, it goes on. Snow Down's on, and there's snowballs flying.
We see Jamie and Brienne. Sam, who's dealing with the Aspen kids that are inside the yard. They're inside the snow fort, in the yard of the Stark house, and the lodge, you know, where the Stark kids live. The Hound's taking a break. Arya does this snowball ballet she's learned. Bravo, seeing snowball ballet. Yeah, Brienne… Oh, Beric, he looks… Davos watches on, Beric tries to help. Arya, she's got too many Aspen kids. Then, a seven-foot kid, like a linebacker, like Shaquille O'Neal-sized rolls into the yard and starts just throwing snow on everybody.
Arya's outnumbered. Beric says, “Yo, Hound. What's up? Let's help Arya if you don't want to help the ski industrial complex.” He says, “It's called a Winter industrial complex.” He goes, “You can't let them snow Arya.” He goes, “Tell her that you don't believe in friendship.” Then, Leanna Mormont, she takes out this… They do a double snow wash. Leanna and the seven-footer. They both get cold, and they're both done throwing snowballs. They want to be warm.
Jon chases the King Aspen. Khaleesi chases, they get lost. Oh, then King Aspen shows up. This is a race thing, or the dog racing thing. He's not playing fair anyway. Kind of like pod racing in that Star Wars movie or something. Yeah, so that game stalled out. Then, some kids call out this hide and seek game. It's a reverse hide and seek, It's just like all these Aspen kids and they say, “Arya, if you hide and we can't find you, we'll give your family the deed to both places.”
Arya didn't know how many Aspen kids were hired, so there's tons of them. It's like, how you going to hide from, like, a hundred seekers? She tries to hide. She finds a good spot, but she actually has this runny nose, and she sneezes. Then, it's like, what's going to happen? Then, what does this say? Surf blurp at two. Okay, book Theon. That's what my note says. She sneezes, surf blurp, OK book Theon. That happened. I don't remember that.
Trick tries to snarl out of the barn. I don't know. I think she really did some cruel move. Oh, yeah. She does some move, and she tries to sneak out from where all the seekers are looking. Then, the kids, she realizes how many Aspen kids there are, so she just runs, because they have to still tag her. It's kind of hide and seek, but you still have to tag the person. She agreed to it, I guess, so it is legally binding if they catch her.
Back at the Stark yard everyone is working. What is happening? You know, there's lots of snow, there's snowballs everywhere. Then, all of a sudden the snowballs where the kids are, and the grandparents, the snowballs are hitting. Oh, yeah. Downstairs. All their windows. Hound and Beric, they try to help Arya get away so she doesn't get tagged. The Hound actually carries her, so they run faster. Beric stays behind to slow down the seekers. He gets a lot of snow on him, but he's still trying to keep warm.
You'd think there'd be more, I guess there was so much skiing in the first movie. That's why there's no skiing in this movie. This is also just the climax of movie. They try to… Where was I? Eric… Oh, then they get into an outhouse, and nobody sees. It's covered in snow, and they close the door. They see that it's got a secret exit. Beric says, “You know what? I'm cold. I'm stopping playing.”
Then, the Red Woman's there and she says, “Now his purpose has been served.” Arya says, “I know you.” She goes, “And, I know you.” She says, “You said we'd meet again.” The Red Woman says, “And, here we are.” She goes, “The end of one of the ski resorts.” Arya says, “You said [inaudible 00:49:51] snow lots of eyes.” She goes, “Brown eyes, green eyes and blue eyes.” She go, “Oh.” Arya goes, “Blue eyes. That makes me think of A-S-P-E-N.” She goes, “Get to work.” She goes, “By the way, what do we say to Aspen?” Arya says, “Not today.” So, Arya's out.
We see Theon and Bran waiting with the… Here comes the snowballs. Make every throw count. We see Jon and the Aspen King racing on dogs. These giant… I almost thought of the name of it. Not Benjamin Hound, though. I know that. Jon actually, first Aspen falls off his dog so he can't technically win this race. Jon falls of of his. Still big, snow bills. I don't know what that means, but here's the dog, Khaleesi's dog falling. Khaleesi actually super soaks the Aspen King with a super soaker. Not with warm water.
She's like, “That should end it all.” She didn't snowball him, and technically she's not a star. I guess she is… I don't know, but so she uses water instead of snow. She's like, “Well, he'll quit, because he's going to be wet.” Then, Jon's trying to catch up. Khaleesi's like, “How come he didn't give up?” It shows that he has a full wet suit on underneath his clothes, so he'll never be cold. Let's see. He just smiles.
Jon chases after him, and he stops and turns his ear a little bit, like he's listening to something. Then, he turns around, because Jon was trying to sneak up behind him. Jon goes, “I'm going to catch you.” He goes, “Uh, my dad just hired a bunch of your friends for help.” He goes, “He pays quadruple.” Jon goes, “No way.” He goes, “Yeah, all your friends, most of your friends, they work for my family now. Including Ed.”
Then, he starts throwing snowballs at Jon. Jon's friends, newly-hired. Let me see. Pod, Tormund… Oh, when they turn they wear blue contacts, so Ed has blue contacts on. Not Pod or Tormund, though. They're still fighting for the Starks. Yeah, then you see the whole Aspen crew. The actual full entitlement dudes. They are walking in.
Then, we're back at home, like, down where the hot cocoa and the kids are. We're bouncing around here. Then, we see Theon, and Bran. Theon's still keeping Bran from getting snowed. Yeah, Khaleesi uses her super soaker. She uses her super soaker against Jon's former friends that now work for the Aspen's. Somebody says, oh, Beric, or Brienne, or somebody says, “Go.” Oh, Khaleesi says to Jon, oh, Jon says, “Bran.” Khaleesi says, “Got get them, hero.”
Then, Jorah stays and helps Khaleesi. The Aspen, their dog has to run away, basically. Oh, that's when Jorah shows up. Also, the song Raining Men is playing. Jon's in such a hurry to help Bran he doesn't even stop for Sam. He's in full hero mode. We get a taste of super Theon again. Bran's just still out there, looking at outer space man. They rise in Winterfell. Oh, also they've given out Red Bulls, the Aspen's. Not only do they hire all of Jon's friends, they give them all Red Bulls, so they're all pumped up.
Aspen, and the new Ravioli King… Aspen walks off. I don't know what that means. Aspen, and the new [Routic 00:54:21] Queen, King. Great music. All the Aspen's together there was, like, 11. I don't know if that counts King Aspen, though, so there may be 12.
Then, we're downstairs with the hot cocoa and the grandparents, the great-grandparents. We start seeing that not only are these Aspen kids throwing snowballs, they have eggs in them, so they're egging the house with snowballs. Then, super Jorah, Khaleesi, something, Tyrion and Sansa are sneaking around trying to avoid getting egged.
Oh, then younger Aspen kids, like Aspen great-grandparents are in the Stark's house with yellow snowballs. I mean, talk about violating all decency. There's grandparents throwing yellow snowballs at grandparents watching over the little kids. Arya and Tyrion obviously can't stand for that, so they're going to try to put a stop to it. “Not in this house,” they say.
Then, Jon realizes he wants to tame King Aspen's dog, who's running around without a leash and going to the bathroom everywhere. Jon's like, “I can't just let this dog go to the bathroom all over our property.” He's trying to catch Blue Flame. That's the name of the Aspen King's dog. Oh, there's piano playing. Jorah has always had a crush on Khaleesi. Khaleesi's like, “I just want to be friends.” He goes full redemption mode. She was like, “Why can't we just be friends? Why do you got to try to make it more than that?” You're just like Mormont,” she says. That was in the first movie.
Then, Jon's running. He's trying to catch the Blue Flame dog, and put a leash on that dog. Theon, whose Ironborn friends, they do a great job of keeping Bran from getting any snow on him. Then, we get a shot of the slow-walking Aspen kids. Then, Jorah keeping Khaleesi from getting snowed. We see how hard, like, even though they weren't really central to the episode, Jamie, Pod, Brienne, Sam, working so hard. No one wants to lose this ski resort. Particularly to the Aspen's.
Then, there's more slow-walking Aspen's. Yeah, then we see Bran and the 11 to 12 Aspen's. Then, Theon's there. He's like, “I don't know what I'm going to do. There's one of me, and 11 to 12 rich, entitled Aspen's.” Bran says, “Don't be an ass.” No, he says, “Theon, you're a good man.” Then, the second re-watch… I mean, the first one there was tears at this, but I had goosebumps on the second watch. He says, “You're a good man. Thank you. You kept me snow-free.” Theon says, “Well, I'll see what I could do.”
King Aspen steps up. Him and Theon have a Snow Down, but Theon gets iced like tea, man. He's ice cold. Bran kind of stares, like, yes a state, like, bring it. Like, the Raven is ready. Because, King Aspen's like, “I'm going to snow you. I'm going to win your family's ski resort. We'll have total ski resort dominance.” He goes, “I'll give you the outhouse. Maybe you could ski down the mountain on it.”
Jon's still trying to collar the dog, getting covered in slobber. Which, you don't want to be covered in slobber when it's cold outside. Jorah gets covered in snow. He doesn't have a snowsuit on, but he's keeping Khaleesi from getting cold. She actually does have good wicking on. Oh, then there's this closeup of the hand of the Aspen kid, King Aspen doing the slow walk. Bran's just waiting there. The music's unbelievable.
Jon's trying to catch the dog, still. Yeah, there's building music, more slow-walking King Aspen, because he's just a heartthrob too. He's like Val Kilmer in Top Gun, the Ice Man. I think it's probably the same movie. Maybe it was Val Kilmer who played it in this movie. It was the '80s. Bran does not even look at him until he gets closer. Then, Bran looks up. He locks eyes with the Kind Aspen, who's got these perfect blue eyes. They lock eyes with one another. Music's still building.
Aspen kind of turns his head, almost like something's not right here. I think it was more that Bran was not worried, because Bran totally… I mean, Bran's like, “Dude, I've been chilling since I became this periodic raven. Chill's my middle name.” You know, you can't say, “Oh so Raven,” unless you say it like that. If you say, “Oh, so Raven…” You know, he goes, “Because, I'm chill.”
Jon tries to catch the dog by barking at it. It's a last resort. He says, “I'm in a hurry,” so he's trying to catch this dog. Yeah, Aspen raises his hand to snow Bran, and then out of nowhere, Bran's sister, the coolest person in the history of the world, Arya, dives on the screen. Like, she ski jumps off of something into screen, and she does this move that no one's ever done before. Like, originally, this was in the first movie.
There was this legendary skier, [Lindy 01:00:39] Johnson. That's how they won the resort, was by Linda, Lindy Johnson. Arya does a double Linda, Lindy snowball switch where she dives in off a snowboard or something towards the Aspen kid, like she's going to throw it with one hand. He goes, raised his hand, catches her hand so she won't throw the snowball. Then, she drops the snowball into her other hand, and that's it. As soon as he's touched with snow, the thing's over.
Yeah, plenty of witnesses, so everybody says, “Okay, we lost. That's it.” All of the Aspen kids, their minds are blown. They say, “I can't believe it. I was going to go to an Ivy League school. You know, pay… You know, had seamless every single night, chosen what delivery service. Now, I'll have to get a job.”
We cut to Jorah, who's wet, and cold and tired. Jon, who's breathing. You know, this movie was made before there was Squad Goals, which was 10 years ago anyway. We see that the main squad is still left. We see Arya, Bran… Oh, Arya and Bran exchange this look. Like, Bran goes, “Damn, you're good with snowballs, sister. You just saved the entire family, and also expanded. That's great.”
Let's see. Then, Khaleesi, she says… Jorah's like, “I got to go inside and get warm.” He goes, “Matter of fact, I'm done with the North. I'm done with Colorado. I'm moving to Florida.” So, it's a little bit sad, because he says, “You know what? I'm not going to go…” Because he goes, “Oh, my God. I got to get warm.” She goes, “Well, we'll just come inside.” He goes, “No-no-no. I'm moving to Florida right now.”
Then, her dog shows up to lick her hand, you know, and give her a kiss and snuggle her. That cheers her up a little bit. Then, we see the Hound, the Red Woman, who stares down the something-something. I think the Hound stares her down. Yeah, then Davos is… What does that say? Winterfell. Oh, she skis. That's what it is. The Hound and the Red Woman are walking, and that Red Woman pus on skis. Then, we see Davos watching, and she goes, “I'm skiing out of here. I'm skiing down the mountain.” She goes, “I'm leaving town too.” She's not even wearing her snowsuit. I don't know. That was how the movie ended. I guess she was the old traditions leaving, along with all the Aspen's and stuff. That's how the movie closed.
Then, they have some slapstick. What do you call those? Bloopers. It was just a classic film. You know, classic '80s comedy. Now, let's see. Just a couple of quick facts, because this is a really long episode, huh? Long night, well just a link to them, because we're already pushing time-wise. I'll have some links here. Don't worry, we still got Tommen and Pounce, and the prayers coming up. Thanks for listening. Thanks, everybody that was involved in making that show, because, oh boy, it was a great…
Yeah, here you go. Here's Tommen and Pounce. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary. Welcome to the [K-Pounce 01:04:36] family fun radio hour. No-no, no-no. It's something more cool than that. Well, we now interrupt your special, the K-Pounce family fun, K-Pounce. The radio station of best friends, cats and children everywhere. Where children, cats and friendship exist. We now break your regularly schedule family fun hour for this special broadcast of the adventures of Tommen and Pounce. The world of Noir Chardonnay. K-Pounce, the radio of friendship. Boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and cats everywhere. Friendship at K-Pounce.
It's a little too much. What is it? Hello, everyone. I'm Sir Tommen. Welcome to another episode of the adventures of Sir Pounce and I in the world of Noir Chardonnay. You may know me as Your Grace, or Your Lord, My Grace. It's Your Grace, actually, not My Grace. I am Your Grace. Here's another adventure with Sir Pounce. Sir Pounce, introduce the show.
I mean, maa, see?
Well, Sir Pounce, that was very good. It was a very good night. Sir Pounce and I were sitting after a grand evening at Noir Chardonnay's club. Where music, and art, and discussion had happened. The air was thick with the smoke, and the things that sweat, I'd say; water vapor in the air. We sat there with Noir Chardonnay. They were on the tail side of performing when Noir Chardonnay looked across the room at me and said something like, “Tommen, it's time to take on one of your most important cases. You and Sir Pounce have to deal with your next case.”
I said, “Who's the next case?” Then, Noir Chardonnay said, “Remember the person that was in the club who made a scene? Started, we called it heckling the performers, and we stopped the show. We said to that person, if they wanted a refund the mission for everyone there, and each performer for their time they could keep going on that thing. Otherwise, they would need to leave. They had a few more things to say, and then they were shown the door by one Noir Chardonnay.”
Noir Chardonnay said, “You know who that is. That's your next case, Tommen. Track it down.” So, Sir Pounce and I hit the streets of the big city. The city that sleeps when it's… The city never sleeps, but people in the city sometimes sleep. Sometimes, they don't. They sleep on different schedules. Sir Pounce and I were out on the streets. Pounce walking, head and tail, head held high, looking around, enjoying the bustle and the hustle of the city. A place where somebody like me, for once, could be forgotten in a good way. Especially when Sir Pounce is close, and giving me a sense of security and safety. That I could be just one among many. You know, knowing in my heart I should be referred to as Your Grace.
Well, the city had taught me one thing. The days there, that it was hard-boiled, and I was hard-boiled. Sir Pounce like, you know, one thing we would do, because they'd say, “What does it mean to be a hard-boiled detective, Noir Chardonnay?” Then, Scooter came, and Scooter said, “Well, let me hard boil and egg and show you.” Then, Scooter went. He's the pod man. He went on a long tirade about eggs, and medium boil. Sir Pounce liked to play with the eggs. Not so much eat them as paw them. You know, because they move in an interesting fashion.
Soon, we found ourselves in front of a building. A building gleaming with excess. Gold, and even the name on the front. We passed Sir [Joffrey's 01:09:26] Coffee. This just said Joff. The Joff Building, J-O-F-F brunch. Joff Tower, I believe it was called. All the buildings had his name on it as well… in gold. Not real gold, as I would learn.
We headed in there, Sir Pounce and I. We'd heard rumors about this Joff making a scene at Noir Chardonnay's shows. Noir Chardonnay had given me some inside knowledge, and said, “You know that place inside you, Tommen, that trembles sometimes, I think you'll find that if you look deep enough into Joff.” You know, sometimes I just got to tell it like it is, see? I don't need to work around the subtextual things, say? Right, Sir Pounce? Just get to the point. We were there to…
First, of course, the gatekeepers tried to keep us. They said, “What are you doing?” I said, “I'm here to speak to His Grace.” Then, they said, “Wait a second. Who is His Grace?” I said, “The Great Joff. The Wise, The Joff.” I have to tell you that first they didn't want to let me.
First, I tried other things, but those didn't work. Old things that the old Tommen would try, but then I said, “I had heard there's this ridiculous club in town. Noir Chardonnay runs it. Everyone there feels free to express themselves as they are, to work and hone their craft, and put it out there for the world to enjoy. Lights low, and people feel like it's their place. You know, there's some of us that are fed up with those things, and I'm looking for someone I heard tells it like it is, and who really should be a leader the world should recognize. Maybe they already do. They see the name on the building, Joff, and they know that there's a powerful, powerful person. I know that. That's why I'm here, just to bask in the glory.”
It wasn't long before, you know, because here's the thing. So, Pounce, what was Joff doing? [inaudible 01:11:58] It's, he was watching us. He had us monitored, say?. You know, he was looking for people looking for him, to bask in his glory. Also, I had learned that sometimes these things are just tests when these, as Noir said, you know, trembling within us makes it. So, of course we were escorted up and made to wait too long a time. Then, we went into Joff's office, but he was eating something succulent and delicious in front of us, but not offering it to us or acknowledging our presence and doing important things.
Eventually, I said that passively, is I have the ability to do… Sir Pounce was there, and cool as a cucumber. I was there just thinking about fun things I like to do with Sir Pounce. Also, I said, “Well, I am now… You know, Sir Pounce and I are here to crack this case, see?” Eventually, he got to us and he said, “Oh, so you heard about me at Noir Chardonnay, eh?” I said, “I heard you said some things, and you tell it like it is. This is beautiful, your name on the building. So impressive.” He said, “Who's this here?” I said, “This is my best friend, and my cat, Sir Pounce.”
There was something about the fact that I said best friend, and I meant it, and Sir Pounce looked at me. He goes, it didn't sit right with this Joff. He had one of those long looks. Kind of like when you need to number two, but you hold it. That was the look on his face, but he's thinking about how he was feeling, and processing it. He was going to say something about, you know, “Did you try…” I said, “Okay, I need to do…”
This is all instantaneous, this happened. I said, “Excuse me, Joff. You don't mind if I call you Your Grace, do you?” That's a real sign of respect. He said, “I do not at all.” I said, “You must see yourself as a natural leader. You know, leader of people. You just got to, you know, you seek of Noir Chardonnay. You know, I remember the first time I went to Noir. Why don't you sit down, Joff? I'm going to do some talking here.”
Again, he was looking at Sir Pounce, and I said, “Sir Pounce, this is the time. We got to reach deep here. We got to crack this case.” I said, “Joff, why don't you meet Sir Pounce up close?” I could tell Sir Pounce, you know, Sir Pounce never forgets anything. Just remember that. Sir Pounce is wise, and brave, and a best friend. I said, “Sir Pounce will sit by you Joff. You don't mind if Sir Pounce hops in your lap?” Sir Pounce jumped in the chair next to Joff, and just started purring. Then, Joff started petting Sir Pounce. Sir Pounce was really working it. Really soothing Joff.
I says, “Nice. It's called purring. Cats do it. It's cool, and Sir Pounce is cool. Sir Pounce likes you.” Joff kind of got a vague, absent-minded look as Joff was petting Sir Pounce. I said, “Listen here. You know, maybe there's something about Noir Chardonnay, and the open-ness of that club and that community, and the expression that goes on there. It really sets you off, eh?” Joff said, “Ah, yeah. Yeah, see?” I said, “Yeah, something doesn't… But, maybe.” Then, I said, “I forgot. I went on such a forgetful [fussy-dussy 01:16:16]. Right, Sir Pounce?” Mr. Pounce said, [“Bowm-bowm,” 01:16:19], [meh-maa 01:16:21].”
He said, “Oh, your cat talks.” I said, “It does. It said, Joff's hair's cool, the way it hangs over the front of your head in that way. It's a mystery too. I could see that something trembling inside you. Like, I don't know if you could feel it, or you don't know it's there. Maybe it's trembling right now, and in sync with Sir Pounce's purring.” Joff started, his jaw went a little slack. His shoulders went a little looser. He said, “Yeah.”
I said, “Maybe when you go into Noir Chardonnay's place, maybe it was like when I first went there. I was on guard. I felt out of place, like a outsider. I felt intimidated by all this expression. All this encouragement, and freedom, and… I don't know how else to say it, but love. Maybe it's curiosity. I don't know, but I found it a bit T-H-R-E-A-T-E-N-I-N-G-ing. You know, first I scoffed at it. It wasn't until Noir Chardonnay reached down and petted Sir Pounce by the ears and said something that goes through the decades, and the beat box of my life.” “Who's this fine young cat?” I said, “Why, that's Sir Pounce. Bravest cat who's ever been, and my best friend.”
I realized that I knew nothing, and Noir Chardonnay said, “Who are you, young man?” I said, “I'm Tommen. Sir Tommen. I think I'm here to become a private detective. Noir Chardonnay laughed, and said, “Private dick, eh?” Sir Pounce laughed at that, and then Joff laughed for a second. I said, “I don't know if that's what happened to you. Maybe you don't see things with your eyes, you see them with that trembling within you. You see, Joff, there's one thing I can tell is that you're a boy. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe there's a part of you that doesn't think that's okay. I would say to you, I learned something. Recently we took over the operations of the super happy fun shop. What I'd like to do is just arrange for you to be a kid for a little while, and go there and play. You could work there. We have a special program where you don't even have to do much work. Mostly, you just play games.” Joff said, “Does Sir Pounce come with me?”
I said, “Well, you know, it happens. Sir Pounce is my best friend, and you two are friends. This super happy fun shop happens to be in the back of 45 alleys here in the big city. Down those alleys are a lot of cats. You know, be careful, because a cat might choose you if you're if you're kind. Maybe the cat could feel you purring. There's this idea of self care, and purring, maybe you could purr next to that vibration inside you, Joff. We don't have to talk about it at all. I do the talking here.”
“That's what I say to you is, go down there, play some games, be nice. Be nice to Joff, and maybe a cat will come into your life. Maybe you'll have some fun. Them, maybe that'll loosen up whatever that is. When that vibration's vibrating, a little bit less trembling to vibrating. They're two different things, a bit. Come and see us. We'll be back of Noir Chardonnay's club. Come say hi. I'll get you tickets. You could even meet Noir Chardonnay if you'd like. Maybe apologize, maybe not, but that's it. Go on. Have a good day.”
Joff said to me, “You mind taking my name off the front of the building on your way out?” I said, “Your Grace, it'd be my honor. Couldn't tell you dream do… For sure. Give Sir Pounce one last pat, and then head down to the super happy fun arcade. We'll see you soon. It was nice to see you, Joff.” He said, “I feel like I know you two from somewhere.” I said, “See, another case solved. Sir Pounce and Tommen. Goodnight.”
[Crone 01:21:32] sent from our prayers, the old gods and the new. Sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barky, Chester, Hounddog God. It's me, your humble servant, coming in, you know, [pentient 01:21:46]. I'm prostrated, Crone. Holy cow. You know, so I have a [inaudible 01:21:53]. Anyway, coming in to talk into you, prayer and in. I've been working. Well, I haven't been exactly working on our plan since the last time we talked, but I've been thinking about it occasionally. Of how we're going to stay in touch, since we won't have the show to keep me getting ahold of you.
I thought I'd give you, so then I had this Summer camp idea. So, Crone. Sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barky, Chester, Hounddog God. This is what I think, is we should form a Summer camp. I don't know what I said last week, because then I said to myself this week, “How would, even if they're all-knowing, I'm not aware of any Summer camps in Westeros, or the Game of Thrones universe. The most Summery stuff happened down where the Chester was, and that didn't get enough face time anyway.
Summer camp. Let me talk about location. Maybe that's where we should start. Of course, of course. We want it someplace with a lake. That's one. Now, Crone. I don't know if you swim. Barky, you'll be in. Miller… You know, I don't know, dude. Maybe we could have gardening, Miller. Yeah, some sort of eatable. That's probably a new thing. They didn't have that when I was there at Summer camp. Only one time, for one week, but we will have gardens. Yes, Miller. Location with a lake, with shade and sun. You're right, Crone. We don't want too much of either.
Stream? Okay, I hear you. I hear you. A forge. I think that might be a good idea. Like, for adults only, Smith, because again, you could… Or, shoes. You know, friendship bracelets are usually braided, or created out of plastic-like rope. At least when I was there. Maybe we could have that. Maybe you could have a forge. I don't know what. Maybe you could just run the forge. Is that what they're called? Yeah, a blacksmith's shop. You're right, Smith. Chester. Oh, boy are we going to need you for the night time activities. Yeah, entertainment hall, and Hounddog God. Don't worry. There'll be plenty of frowns to go around, and hangdog looks.
Here's the thing, [inaudible 01:24:42]. We need a lake. We don't need the whole lake. We just need access to the lake. A dock is normally a pretty big part of it. For sanding, for blowing. You know, that's where the movie scenes are usually shot. Canoeing, swimming lessons, other swim-related, fun swims, and other stuff you do in the water. I don't know if we'd do fishing or not. I mean, if we're doing smithing maybe we could do fishing. I'm not sure on that ruling. We want a place with a lake.
Beach would be nice. You're right. I do hear you, so beach would be nice. It is always cool if it's in the mountains, but you don't want it to be too remote, because you're driving in the air. Usually, parents send their, well this is only… Okay, God, as you probably know, most of my basis for living is assumptions and things I learned from television. That's why I'm in need of a belief system like your, is…
Usually in the movies and the TV shows the parents would send their kids away to Summer camp for the Summer, and visit them. Or, it would never seem like it lasted a week. It always seemed like it lasted a few weeks, which somehow made it cooler and more bonding for the youth and the staff. You wanted to be far enough away that it wasn't a hassle to drive to, but far enough away that you couldn't just, you say, “Hey, come get me.” They'd say, “Well…” I guess that's over an hour-and-a-half, because usually less than an hour-and-a-half, they think that's a number. Then, that's three hours round trip. Maybe an hour-and-fifteen-minutes. That's the level of remote-ness we're looking for, is whatever our base market is. Which ours is everywhere.
Oh, do we want to theme it? Good point. Could it be near a renaissance festival? That is your question. Oh, boy. Crone, you really are brainstorming me. That is good stuff. You're right. That would be Lake Ontario, but I don't know. Then, it's like hour-and-fifteen minutes. It doesn't matter. Let's just use our imagination for right now. The odds are it would be an imaginary Summer camp anyway. We want a lake. We want trees. We want a dock. We got those covered. A stream would be very nice, or a creek at the very least.
I think, actually, the Summer camp I was at, maybe it was my imagination, but there was a creek running down the middle of it into the water. That separated the, like, on one side of the creek up on a hill was the boys camp. Then, on the other side of the creek was the girls camp. Again, this could've just been in a movie I saw. Then, we have cabins. I don't know if the cabins are normally all ages, or they're separated by age. I think they're separated by age. Don't quote me on that. I think it would be better if it wasn't. Well, maybe it would be better if it was.
Then, usually, in the cabins there's bunk beds. Ideally, it's temperate enough that you don't need air conditioning or heat. Just for cost of things. I would think this would be a device-free zone, or maybe we'd have Sunday device day. Otherwise, you wouldn't want kids on their screens. There will also be a power issue, and a WiFi issue. Crone, why don't you file that under, you know, you predict the future and see how it turns out, and we'll make a decision on that.
So, trees, stream, cabins. Then, we have a community hall. Usually, this does everything. You eat in there, you have your events in there. Like, when the Chester's going to do a magic show or whatever. The dance that my friend had a date to that I did not. Yeah, but that's not a big deal. You have, that's where that would take place as well. There's the hall, I think they would probably call it.
Then, there's a canteen. That's another important thing. Or, might have another term. That's a little store where you get a little budget. Maybe five bucks to last yourself the week, and it's open for a few hours a day. I used to buy, they called them eclairs, but it was really like a Popsicle. It was like a chocolate or a vanilla Popsicle with crunchy stuff. Dipped in crunchy stuff. That's what I got every night. I think it was whatever, 50 cents, or a buck. It was probably 50 cents, or 25 cents. I would have one of those with my canteen funds. I could spread it out over the five or six days I was there.
You have that. Then, you have activity courts. You're going to have maybe tennis, or play football, basketball. Archery's big. You're right. Thank you, Chester. Tree climbing, leadership course, ropes course. You're right, Barky. That's a new thing that didn't exist. Leadership and teamwork didn't exist when I was a youth, so that would be a nice thing to have. Thank you.
Tree fort. You're right, Barky. That's another great idea. I like that idea too. A tree canteen? Well, it's possible. I mean, we're not Ewoks, but we could think about it. Anyway, usually the four square court's big. I've never in my life seen anyone play tetherball, except maybe in one or two movies about Summer camps, but they did have that.
That's the location we're looking for. I'm not sure what else we'd need. You need an entrance gate, a place for the administrators to sleep. I really think that's all we need. A kitchen, of course. Of course. Of course, we need a kitchen. Don't worry, we'll have a forge. There may be other things I'm missing, but I just wanted to prayer in and update you. Then, maybe next week we could think about what roles you're going to take.
I hope you're excited. I'll spend the Summers with you, you know, once we get this camp going. If any of you in your adventures on Earth, you know, you want to… I don't know. Is it eminent domain if you're an all-powerful being and you take control of something? That's be great, or you just zap the person and say, “Sell that to Scoots for four cents an acre.”
That's is, Crone. Sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barky, Jester, Hounddog God, and me. Working on our Summer camp, and looking forward to it. I'll talk to you soon. Goodnight.