767 – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms | Game of Drones S8 E2
Breanne’s smile of true joy should lull you through this night in one of the seven kingdoms, and that is the true sign of a good knight.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary. It's time for the podcaster, when they say something about … I say, well, I'm a podcaster that barely remembers that he's making an intro for his patrons. Thanks for supporting the show, patrons.
Hey, are you up all night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. It's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep. We do it the bedtime story. All's you need to do is get in bed, turn off the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do, is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. If the stuff you're feeling physically, experiencing emotionally, or you know, you're contemplating, or in my case, ruminating, heavy on the room, which … Just because it sounds like something you say, “Well I prefer, with Matt R-O-O obviously.”
Anyway, what I'm gonna do, whatever scheme we would like to take your mind off of that. It could be anything, you know. I'm here to keep you company to distract you as you drift off into sleep. The way I'm going to do it is I've got this nice safe place, plenty of room, shows, plenty of time, you got a long, long landing strip here, descent.
What I'm going to do, I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use lolling, soothing, creaky dells to tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I'm going to take my time. There's a warm up and a cool down combined into one. One layer, you know, parallel layers. You say well there's a warm up layer in the pod cast, a cool down layer all the way through.
So basically, the reason I make the show is that I've been there. In a lot of the cases, I might not know exactly what you're dealing with, but I do know how it feels when you can't fall asleep and you gotta get up, or you wake up.
This morning, I woke up. I had an early alarm for a weekend. I'm recording this on a Saturday. And then, I woke up a half hour before that, and I said, “What the heck? It's a ripoff.” To myself.
So I know what it's like. Whatever your case may be, I'm here to help. Now, if you're new, a couple of things to know right up front. Structurally, the show starts off with business. That's how we keep the show free for everybody and thank you everybody that participates in that. Then, there's an intro. The intros are about 12-15 minutes or so, and it's kind of a big part of the pod cast, but after you start listening regularly, there's no wrong way, even initially, you just want to make it the easiest way, if you're really new.
But some listeners skip the intro, maybe two to three percent. Some listeners fall asleep during the intro. A lot of listeners use it as kind of their wind down, as their cool down. They're cooling down and warming up their bed at the same time to descend into sleep.
So the intros are a little bit different than a normal podcast intro, where it would be like, “I'm Hammy Podpool, coming at you, and here's the show.” I do that part. Then, I do a set up for the show. It's a part of the show and the podcast does not work for everybody, but for almost, I'd say 95% of people that it does work for, which is a pretty good amount of people. They say it took two or three tries.
So if you want, if you're up for it, give it two or three tries because I'm just here to help you fall asleep. Now, if you've given it two or three tries and you say, “Well, this isn't for me, but I'm still looking for a way to fall asleep,” or you're already saying, “This is …” You know, not sure you and I are cut from the same cloth and I want to say that you more intensely, go too SleepWithMePodcast.com/nothankyou. There's resources there for some things that I listen to and other sleep podcasts, and then, there's also some options.
If you say, “Well, Scoots, I got to tell you how I feel.” There's options in there. So give it a few tries because, really, I just want to help you fall asleep.
I believe you deserve a good night's sleep. I believe you deserve a life where you can flourish, so you feel you're rested and you can do that, and of course, you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Now, a couple of other things. This is one podcast you don't need to listen to. You may have figured that out already. You can kind of listen. You can totally listen. Either way or whatever in between. Turn it down to a murmur or listen to my every word. The reason I make the show is so you don't need to listen, but if you do need to, if you need company in the deep dark night, I'm here to the very end to keep you company. And that's kind of how the podcast works.
Somehow, by me keeping you company, no strings attached, you could fall asleep, or if you don't, I'm here because, like I said, I've been there. So no pressure, listen. Oh, I guess that kind of says no pressure to fall asleep either. That's why the shows are an hour. That's why you can listen back to back to back, and yeah, that's why the podcast is free. So you say, “Okay, well, yes.” And you say, “Wow, okay. I don't understand this.”
That's most people's reaction is the first two or three tries. “What is this? What the heck? Who in the what's it? Is he still talking about what's-its? Is he talking about how's-its now? Is he transitioning into that word because he started to think about Sea Breeze and astringing? Is he going to go back to that joke where he used to whatever the thing we call Latin verbiage to …”
Yes, I am. Astringe, [astrange 00:06:38]. It's astringe, astrange [astrung 00:06:39], [astreets 00:06:39] or maybe it's [foreign language 00:06:45]. That would be astreets, which I think astringe, so astrange, astrang, astrung. That would be in some sort of home, in a 1980s home, where skincare came first. You say, “I don't know if you're going to live under my roof. It's skincare first.” That's a home I've never lived in, where it's first, you see.
I mean it might be a good thing, but I'm just talk about the goofy parts. You know, “Before you eat your dinner.” “Don't worry, papa, I've astrunged. I stringed. I stranged and I strunged.”
You say, “Okay, okay, sweetie pie. Okay, junior. Great work on the astringing.”
Oh, astringe. You might not know what I'm talking about. I barely do. It may not be relevant. I think it is though. So there's this thing called astringent, right. Maybe, I don't think I've ever purchased Witch Hazel, and I say, “Okay, that's probably, like, needs to be renamed.” Though I'm pretty sure it's that exact name of that, but …
See, this is where I go off topic. Now, I'm imagining being at a party, like a dance, when we're at peak Hazel, when the name Hazel was at its peak, and you're at a school dance, and you say, “Wait a second. You like which Hazel?” And then everyone will … That's true though. If you were at a dance, and your best friend, you say, “You kissed which Hazel?” Or “Which of the Hazels did you kiss?” I guess would be another way, but that's pretty formal to say to your best friend.
I guess, I don't know how you would, “Hazel who?” You could say, “That's pretty funny without even a Witch Hazel joke.” You would say, “Hazel who? Hazel who? Was that in one of the Seuss books? Was Hazel one of the Whos?”
I think that … I don't know if we ever had peak use, but like original usage, maybe Hazel … I know someone may be listening, and then, maybe, when you wake up tomorrow, you say, “When was Hazel popular?”
I believe my eyes are hazel. I never made that association with Witch Hazel, but I was trying to explain the fact that astringent is this thing … Here's the thing and to be perfectly honest, I don't think I've astringed my skin since the last time I joked about this on a podcast. I mean, it's the winter here, when I'm recording this. So it's like I'm not using multiple layers of sunscreen, multiple times a day, just one morning moisturizer, but astringing is when you take this thing … I think that it's mostly alcohol or Witch Hazel, which I don't know if that's suspended in alcohol, and it usually has a nice blue tinge. That's why I like Sea Breeze. Sea Breeze can Sleep With Me.
Two things you would never associate with one another that go great together. It's like fresh breeze, Sea Breeze, Sleep With Me addition, now in purple. That's Sea Breeze, folks. No offense, I usually get the store brand because you know they really upcharge for that extra breeze. Sea Breeze, formally a sponsor of Sleep With Me. Now, we're not speaking.
Okay, where was I? So, then, you take that. You put it on a cotton pad or a cotton ball and you wipe your face with it and I think it degrease- We've talked about this a long time ago, de-greases or de-glazes your face. I don't know what, like, I've never gotten to what de-glazing really is. I've seen it on shows and I'm pretty sure I've done it before.
De-glazing, [Hazel-de-glazal 00:10:52], that's another character, that was one of the great lost Seuss books, Hazel-de-glazal. She was the wisest from Snoof Town, Hazel-de-glazal. That might be a new code name for me. [Scooch 00:11:11] changed his name to Hazel-de-glazel and no one in the world, even the greatest experts in words, and even with with Helen's help from the Illusionist, he couldn't even figure out how to spell glazel without making laser in there because then he would never be able to say his name without getting even further distracted.
Just basically something you use to clean your face, and so that took me so off topic that we don't really get to spend any more time with this wonderful family we just met, whose top priority is skin care. Good question though, I can hear you asking it. No one in that family is a dermatologist. They just have their priorities. It could be skincare, doing good for others, kindness, and maybe it's an accidental generational association, but in this case, it's a good one. They say, “Well, when my skin feels good, I feel good, I do good.”
Well, they say, a belief system formed around Sleep With Me in 2022, you know, after Scooter changed his name and moved to [Snoofville 00:12:27], poor Snoofville, what was the belief system formed around Sleep With Me? Was it like some sort of sleeping?
“No, it's based around skincare and kindness. That all kindness comes with kindness to your skin. Largest organ on your body and in it, probably. Though some say the tongue, but I don't know if that's true.”
In my case, you're right. It's whatever organ produces hot air. Thanks, brain. So, anyway, if you're new, that was a good example of how the show will go from here on out. I'll talk about one thing, then I'll see something over there, then I'll be sitting down at a dinner table with a family, who has got their priorities in order. We can't say anything else about that, and then, you know, I'll take a trip to Snoof Town or whatever, and all this meandering is so, if you need me here, I'm here to talk to you, but if you don't need me, you just need me nearby, you could just drift of at any of those turns.
I think that's it tonight. After the intro, I think started going off topic when I was explaining the structure of the show, but after the intro, we'll have some business, then we'll talk about Game of Thrones, then we'll talk about some stuff that came up on Game of Thrones, then we'll have a visit from Tomin and Pounce, then we'll have prayers to the old gods and the new, and then, we'll have the thank yous and the good nights. So, a really long episode, and yeah, I guess that's it.
I'm really hear to help, to take your mind off stuff and keep you company. I appreciate you checking the show out. I appreciate your time and I strive, I yearn, and I work very hard because I want to help you fall asleep. So thanks again, and thanks because here's a couple ways we keep the show going.
All right, everybody, welcome back. Season eight, episode two, a Knight for All Seasons. I wanted to say, a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, a slight pun I believe, maybe even unintentional. I don't think they do anything unintentional. I recall more of a low level pun, or say, “We just wanted to call it that. The pun was an inconvenient pun.”
That was actually … Al Gore was trying to do … Like, his own satire of Al Gore and he did a book called an Inconvenient Pun. Any case, just because it is …
Okay, where do we start here thought? So the episode starts with about the same opening, maybe last [hearth 00:15:17] gets shown faster. I did notice a lot more details, the trees popping up around Winterfell was cool. There's a body of water around King's Landing. I grabbed a bunch of King's Landing maps we can look at later, but I still think I was unable to identify not the bay …
Here we go actually, it's … Maybe I missed it. Maybe I'll rewind because right now it's at the King's Landing part of the opening. Here we go. Zooming in. Yeah, there's a … Maybe it's just a reservoir, unless there's a bay. It's an inland bay. I don't think so though. There's just a body of water there, other than the bay, but then again, I don't know if in the opening there's all the water.
So anyway, I may be confused. I mean, that would be nothing new, but I did want to say right up front that this is my fourth time through the episode, and so, I think, sure we would have wanted it to be a non-stop episode, but I think this was a very necessary episode, and a part of the closure and a part of … So, I can feel people saying, you know, and I think it's also a part of being able to binge so much television that may have made it more difficult saying, “Well, usually …” But think about how nice they are to say, “Well, now it's time to go to bed. The episode is over. Go to bed. Come back next week.”
I do appreciate that very much and I appreciate having to wait because it builds up the anticipation, and then, all the next four episodes are super-sized. So, and there's a lot to like, especially, I mean, we're really getting a lot of Bran this season, which it could have gone for an hour and a half version of this episode to be honest, just because there were a couple of conversations that I would have just liked to sit in on.
Let's see. Jamie. It opens with Jamie as a dull or serious look on his face, and the opening lines … For 50% of the opening line, I said, “This is good for me.”
Because Khaleesi says, “When I was a child, my brother would tell me a bedtime story,” and then, that was it.
I said, “Okay, well, that doesn't work on Sleep With Me, Khaleesi.” But she's talking to Jamie. She says, “Where's your army now?” “She lied to me as well.” Everybody says that. It's 20000 Ivy Leaguers in the golden company. Not all are guaranteed Ivy Leaguers though, just like the elephants weren't guaranteed. Usage of ‘we.' Khaleesi says, “What do you mean ‘we'?”
Tyrian kind of gets shut down, Sansa says, “No, I don't trust him either.”
I really liked how grounded the scene was in some sense, like Jamie says, “Well, I'm not going to apologize,” but he doesn't say it with an arrogance. He just says it with the truth. “I did this for my family, for my House and my family.” I think he says first and you think about, remember Tywin, Man, holy moly. And then, Bran says, “The things we do for love.” That shuts Jamie down.
That goes beyond loyalty. This goes beyond loyalty, and then he looks to Brienne, and that comment, and then, a little time goes by, but Brienne stands for Jamie and says he's a man of honor, which I'm pretty sure there was an episode called Man Without Honor, and then, I talked about that song, Men Without Ties Don't Dress for Dinner by Paul Westerberg, but maybe you didn't hear that, but that's a song. Men Without Ties Don't Dress for Dinner, it's a Friday night frozen pizza thing. Something-something-something, so, that's a song and that was an episode.
Also, there's lots of wood by the fireplace, which makes sense. I don't know if this is the same room. This is a question I don't know the answer to. If this is the same room they're in later. I did get to kind of look at some stuff about the layout of Winterfell.
Sansa says, “So Brienne, you vouch for Jamie?” And then Khaleesi kind of gets overruled or over … Then Sansa says, “Okay, if you trust him, I trust you.”
And Khaleesi goes, “Sansa, what? Look Warden for the North.” What does that mean? Warden for the North, you look like you're thinking [inaudible 00:20:14], or can you get a … Oh, Khaleesi goes, “Warden of the North, what are you doing? You're thinking about something else.”
He goes, “Yeah, I was thinking about Egon, Agon …” He goes, “Well, we could use every person we could get.”
Then, Khaleesi says, “Fine.”
Gray Worm has a long face off with Jamie, kind of gives him a stare, as he hands over his stuff, and then, the Queen stands, so then, everybody stands, kind of like this meeting is over, but then, it was so awkward. Everybody goes off, doesn't want to talk to the Khaleesi, and I said, “Holy high school. Queen stands, we all stand. Let's all awkwardly leave.”
It was so awkward. [Veris 00:21:03] put his hands in his pockets or in his shirt, whatever, and Bran just sits and stares at Jamie, which was great. I mean, really, that's hard acting because he's not staring at this point. I don't know. He's staring in this zen-like way. I don't know.
I know a lot of people probably talking about how great Bran is this season, but I literally can't get enough, especially after the last episode, and then, this one. But of course, you say, “Scoot, there's only four episodes left.”
And I say, “Okay, give me 30% Bran.” I mean, it doesn't matter because I'm working on my own show, also the Three-Eyed Raven. Let's see. I'll find … Khaleesi kind of gives Tyrion, she says, “Jeez, I'm going to find another Hand if I need to.” Jorah and Varys are there. They're like, “Awkward!”
Then, Tyrion says, “One of you two might be in charge soon.” And then, we see a forge and it's hot stuff. Gendry is working hard. He's steaming that dragon glass. He's showing off some neck. You know, I said, “Holy cow.” He's sweating. He looks looks like a Bale-esque or he's got a little bale thing going, as in Christian Bale, and nothing like lording over a city, and if you've never flirted on a bed of obsidian … Well, you may have because who knows what the geology … Many may have flirted on a bed of obsidian, above it or on a crust of obsidian.
Also, obsidian crust, that's a new thing I'm working on, before I tell you a little something. Gendry, again, he doesn't realize how tough Aria is. She went to the deets, and she wants very specific and lurid vocabulary, and Gendry doesn't cut it.
He's different you know. This is different, I think that's what he says. Aria says, “Let me show you some tricks I've learned.” She says something about many faces, and then she goes … I think I put this … She goes, “Yo, where's my weapon, fool.” Look. She gives him this great look. She goes, “You get my weapon going.” And she walks off with this look. I thought she said, “Where's my weapon, fool?” But it's cool look by Aria.
And then, we have one of the scenes I wish was an hour long. Bran is sitting by the tree and Jamie rolls up. I said, “Man, can a beard get more handsome in four minutes?” I said, “Look out Captain America. Captain Westeros just showed up.” Whatever.
What does that say? Beard? All bards? Question mark, question mark. I don't know what that means. Bran too … Let me turn on some closed captioning here to see.
Right now, Jamie has got some leather armor on. Sorry, then. Let me see what they're talking about. He goes, “You weren't sorry then.” But Bran says, “This is … We're on a journey called life, man. And we've changed.” He goes, “By the way, I'm not Brandon Stark anyway.”
Jamie goes, “What?”
He goes, “I'm something else now.”
And Jamie goes, “You're not angry at me?”
He goes, “No, I'm not angry at anyone.”
Really, this is a great scene, and he's a little bit more expressive, but not very expressive facially, but his voice says everything you need to know. Jamie says, “What about afterwards?”
And he says, “How do you know there is an afterwards?”
And I said, “Holy cow, keep me in mindfulness city.” Not angry anymore.
And then, we have Tyrion walking into the castle, lots of preparations going on. Jamie rolls up, “Well, here we are again.” And they say, “Yup, together again.” Somebody spits. They say what do you think of our new queen?”
And they say, “Well, I underestimated Cersei. By the way, is that baby for real?”
Jamie says, “Yup.” And Jamie says, “She was always good at using the truth to tell lies.” And they talk about being fooled, and then, Tyrion goes, “Well, you were never fooled by her though. You loved her. You knew who she was and you loved her anyway.”
And there's a really great Jamie look there. I think. Let me see. It's hard to blame her. I'm watching it. “Underestimated,” Tyrion says. That's where we are. The baby is for reals. I believed her and Jamie has got some nice rubies on the hilt of his sword.
Now, that's real. Okay. Always been good, telling the truth. “I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. She fooled me.” That's what Jamie says to Tyrion. The truth tells him that. Yeah, when he says, I'm just trying to see. “You loved her anyway.” Oh, yeah, that's his good look. He's speechless, then they go up on ramparts, or whatever. They say, “This is a whole full circle thing. Yeah, we're here at Winterfell, just like when we started it.”
And then, Tyrion starts to make a speech and Jamie walks off to look at Brienne training. They exchange looks, and then we see Podrick is making mama proud. And he says, “Sir Jamie, Lady Brienne,” and Brienne is going to be in charge of the left flank of the plan, and she says, “Why are you being so nice, man? It's throwing me off.”
And he says, “I'd like to serve under your command.” They put Jamie Lannister, Cersei starting at five. I have no idea what that means. What does that mean? Jamie Lannister, Cersei staring at … Oh, no, that's Khaleesi. Khaleesi is staring at the fire. Sorry. Khaleesi.
And Jorah comes in, he goes, “Forgive me, Khaleesi.”
And she says, “What?” You know, she says, “What did you do?”
And he goes, “No, no, no.” He says, “For interrupting. You were watching the fire.” He goes, “By the way, I was jealous of Tyrion, but you were right. He's smart. Forgive him.” And then, he gives one other suggestion, and I don't know if this was the lead in to the next scene, or a mystery, but after a while … I think it's just a lead in to the next scene.” He goes, “One other suggestion,” and then it goes to Lord [inaudible 00:28:23] meeting with Sansa. They're talking.
Sansa was rocking a cool … I said, “She looks like Davis Bowie in a musical about Cersei.” But that's the only thing we can dream about.
And they go, “Let's talk around things for a little while.” Family are complicated. This was … Khaleesi says, “Ours certainly have been, and I put, “Oh, girl, like you don't even know yet.”
And Khaleesi hands out some compliments, then she goes, “What's up with your brother?”
And she goes, “Oh, he loves you.”
She goes, “Oh, well, I love him. You know, I changed my goals until I met Jon Snow.” Khaleesi has the nice usage of who and whom, and then, they kind of go back and forth. They make fun of Jon's height. She says, “He's the only person that's been true to his word other than someone else.”
And I said, “Well, who is that Jorah or Count Drogo or somebody else, like some secret person?”
Let's see. She said, what about? There's other people. Okay, well … And then, she says, “What about the North?”
She goes, “What about the North?”
She goes, “You know, if you're on the Iron Thrown, we want the North to be free.”
And Khaleesi just takes her hand back. They were holding hands during the complimenting phase. She goes, “I don't know if I like that tone.” More or less. Then, that maester shows up, like … The newer maester, he's only been around for three seasons, so I haven't learned his name. And he says, “By the way, big moment, remember I said I would interrupt you if any Greyjoys show up or if I sense awkwardness, Theon is here.”
Theon bends the knee right away. She says, “Why are you with her, if you'll have me?”
I thought Khaleesi was like, “Why was your sister, more or less, is your sister okay?” Yes. “Why aren't you with her?”
“Well, Lady Sansa, if you'll have me, I'll defend the North.” I may have teared up here. Oh, no. I teared up with Brienne. I may have teared up twice this episode. Maybe this was it because they do have a pretty legit hug.
Then, and this seemed like the Onion Knight, but maybe not the best use of the Onion Knight's time. He's serving soup. You know, he hands out the soup, and the truth and wisdom at the same time. So he's dolling out soup to some new recruits. They forgot to get their bread. They only got their soup, and I said, “Dudes, you're going to need that bread, especially.”
Then we see Gilly for the first time, I think. At least for the first time, I saw Gilly, and I'm pretty sure Gilly and the Onion Knight have worked together, but there's this nice moment with this younger, young woman, and I thought it was kind of a nice callback to [inaudible 00:31:55] for the Onion Knight and him and Gilly kind of work as a team to win her trust, but there is a lot in this episode. A small D or C level, D or E level thread of “I know what's better for you, for everybody.”
And Gillian and the Onion Knight kind of go counter to that. They say, “Well, what do you want to do?” And so there's a lot of times everybody is telling, like Arya gets told by the forge master. I forgot his name. It kind of goes through this episode, but …
Oh, speaking of which, this next scene, happy. Oh, no, this is a return. You hear a horn. Something getting interrupted. Oh, yeah, let's see. Serving soup, Onion Knight, but then one horn. It's the return of Ed is his name, Dolores Ed, or something. Ed Dolores and Tormund and Beric Dondarrion, and they all give big hugs, except for Beric gives Jon a handshake, and they say, “What up?” And they say, “[inaudible 00:33:01].”
Well, it was. Not anymore. They say everybody is working for the Night King now and they say, “So what time?” They say, “Before the sun comes up tomorrow.”
Tormund says, “Is the big woman here?” And then, we have more preps, more planning.
They say, “There's too many people to deal with. So we'll just deal with the Night King.” They kind of go through that plan. There's a nice map.
It did take me a few re-watches to see that they have almost like these Scrabble-type tiles to represent whatever they want to call it, the Northern Army, Night Army, whatever.
Let's see. “He'll never.” “Yes, he will.” Oh, Bran says, “What if I try to catch the Night King?” He wants the Three-Eyed Raven, “I'm the human history machine.” And they talk about forgetting or being forgotten and how that has to do with being human, memories …
Oh, then Sam says, “Memories, but not from books. That's you Bran.”
Bran says, “His mark is on me. I'll meet him at the Godswood with Theon because Theon needs redemption.”
Theon says, “I'm Iron-born.” In this one, I guess was a little bit of stretch. I mean, you kind of see this one. It's a little bit, but I mean it could be a misdirect. You see Theon, thus far, you're great. I love Theon, but you say, “Historically, when we put responsibility in your hands …” I guess this would be his full shot at redemption to say, “See, this time I didn't mess it up. I did rescue my sister.”
So this is Super Theon we're talking about. He says, “Iron-born. I didn't know if the Iron-born have some resistance or something.”
Davos is in charge of lighting the moat with Tyrion, but Khaleesi says, “I need your mind, man.” And then, they say “What about dragon fire?”
And Bran says, “No one has ever tried.” I love that.
Norman says, “At least we're all together.”
Somebody says, “Let's get some rest.”
At first, I thought it was Jon, but then I was like, “Was that Davos?” Then, there's awkward again. Everybody leaves awkwardly. Jon avoids the Khaleesi. Khaleesi is out. Just leaves us again with a scene that we could watch for an hour plus, with Bran and Tyrion alone.
And he goes, “You need some help?”
But Bran goes, “Nope.”
And Tyrion goes, “You've had a strange journey.”
He goes, “Stranger than most.” This is really the kind of … I love this. And they say, “What happened?”
He goes, “Long story.” And this was just a way the editing worked out. It was not so great because he goes, “Well, don't we have all night.” Or I thought that's what Tyrion pulled up a chair and said, “Tell me, man. We got all night.”
What does this say, Miss Marrow dismissed. Oh, Missandei gets dissed about ignorant Northerners. Gray Worm says, “I'll work here for a stretch, but other than that, we got to get out of here. Where should we go?”
She says, “North, baby. The beaches in North.”
And he goes, “I'll be your protector.” Like that song, Protectors Coming Home, or whatever.
This looks like a human bore. That's what it looks like my handwriting says. Human bore wolf, question mark. Maybe cinnamon bacon? I don't know what that says, but then Sam and Jon … Human bore wolf? But Sam says to Jon, “Waiting for the perfect time?” “Yeah.”
Then Ed rolls up. He says, “What up, my boys?” And then, he says, “And now our watch begins,” which I thought was a cool line. I think they maybe didn't have enough breathing space for it to be at its coolest. I don't know, but I think that it is a necessary one, just cool.
And then, let's see. Oh, they say, “Sam, why don't you take a break and avoid all the action?”
He goes, “I'm tough, man. I've dealt with things, walkers, you need me.” And then, they go through the circular of their journey, talking about all of their friends and the whole Night's Watch, and they say, “It's just us three.”
And then, we have Tyrion and Jamie. Now, Jamie is now in his full armor. So is Tyrion and they're just hanging by a fireplace, drinking wine. He goes, “Remember when …” Again, they got a little bit more. They say, “Jeez, remember when we first were here? You were a golden lion.” And he goes, “You were a sleaze. It was all so simple.” And he goes, “Do you miss it?”
And Tyrion says, “Of course, to the perils of self-betterment.”
Then Bienne and Pod come in. They say, “My Lady.”
And she goes, “I'm looking for someplace warm,” which made me think of the rooms in Winterfell and Brienne is great because they say, “How about some wine?” And she goes, “No. We got to get to sleep.”
Pod goes, “Come on!”
And she goes, “A half a cup for Pod, and then, we got to go to bed.”
And they say, “Join us.”
She goes, “Just for a bit.”
Then Davos comes in to get warm and Tormund, and this was like, I'm sure on the internet. I can't even imagine. This was really like falling asleep. He goes, “This is our last night in the world,” and he literally says, they say, “So,” he goes, “You want a drink?”
He goes, “Yeah, my own, whatever, horn drink here.” And I think first he has a little bit of, like, he calls Jamie by the wrong name, but that wasn't on purpose, and then, he goes, “You might not know what this means, but buckle your seat belts everybody.” He goes, “If this weren't …” He goes, “I'm about to tell you the weirdest thing you'll ever here in eight seasons.”
And they go, “Does the Three-Eyed Raven know about this?”
He goes, “I assume so.” And he goes, “Do you want to be weirded out forever in a totally strange way?” And he tells the story from when he was 10 and he was a giant baby for three months, when he was 10, and then he drinks what I presume is giant's milk out of a horn and it was literally like. I literally said W-T-F. I mean, it's cool and Tormund is the best, but it was just so out there.
I mean, hopefully, they'll release the shooting of that scene because everyone had a straight face, but I have to imagine that everyone was laughing.
Then, the Hound is lying around solo. Arya rolls up and they're all quiet. They share drink. I notice the Hound won't look at her. He's kind of staring off and she goes, “What are you doing up here?” And she goes, “You don't fight for anybody.”
And he goes, “I fought for you once.” Nobody knows about everybody else's journey and there's not, I guess, enough time to fill everybody in, but I think he kind of said enough anyway. Then Beric Dondarrion shows up. So that moment, you say, “Well, what does this mean for Arya and the Hound?” And then, we learn that Beric Dondarrion, you can get off Arya's list, and he's an opportune converter because he says, “Do you think this would be a good time to talk about the Lord of the Light and all the Lord of the Light has done for us?”
And the Hound goes, “No sermons, bra.”
And he goes, “You got me, Hound. Let's have a drink together.”
And Arya is like, “I'm out of here.”
It was like a party after a wedding reception. The after the wedding reception party at a hotel or something, and you're kind of wandering around from group to group, and you're like, “Okay, this one …” You've got the one like the Dorman room, and then, you have the Hound and Beric, and you say, “Okay.” Then Arya kind of shoots.
She shoots arrows and Gendry is kind of watching, and then, he says, “I've got your staff.” And I said, “No need to insert puns here.”
Arya quizzes what's his name, [Gantry 00:42:16]? Gendry. He tells her that he's Robert's son, and then, they have a moment. First, Arya slowly takes off her gloves early. Doesn't keep count, he says. Arya makes her move. Lots of knots to untie, and then … Thin the charts? What does that say? Strange we are together. Thin chance … I don't know. Strange we're together. Oh, fireside chat.
Back to the fireside chat. That's what that says. Strange we're all together, defending Winterfell with honor. You know, we've all gone against them, and then, Tyrion, he says, “I got a good feeling about this. We're in good shape, I think.” Everybody laughs at that and Tyrion even does a brief lineup. He goes, “We've got Ser Davos. We've got Jamie Lannister. We've got Brienne of Tarth.”
And then, Tormund goes, “W-T-F, she's not a knight? What the heck?”
And Jamie says, “I can fix that.”
And Tormund says, “I would knight you 10 times over.”
And Brienne is not sure at first, but there's a look from Podrick that says he knows the truth of what Brienne really wants. Jamie says, “Kneel.” There's this really big emotional moment, I mean, since we've met Brienne of Tarth and kind of thematically, I think, really important.
And what does that say? Start the sword … Be brave, be just, defend the innocent, and he goes, “Now you're a knight of the seven kingdoms, Ser Brienne of Tarth.”
Tormund does a great clap for her. Everybody is cheering. She has this wonderful smile. I mean, they just captured things. Holy cow, and yeah, this has emotional resonance for me at least. Let's see. She smiles for real. Jorah …
Well, then we have Jorah meeting with his cousin from Bear Island. I think her name is Lyanna or something, and also, in the background, there was some Little Finger shields, some mockingbird shields. I mean, I guess those are from Riverrun, and she goes, “I'm defending things too. You can't tell me what to do.” And she goes, “See you, cousin.”
Then Same gives Heartsbane to Ser Jorah because he says, “One, I can't hold it up, and two, Jon has your dad's sword. So now, you have my dad's sword.”
Then, Jorah says, “Well, it's funny. Isn't Jon related to your mentor?”
And he goes, “Kind of. Amon and Agon too. They would make a great team.”
Ser Jorah says to guard the realms of men.
So, I do like a lot of the phraseology, or whatever you want to call it, does get brought up. “Now our watch begins to guard the realm,” like I mean. I don't know. I thought it was cool.
He says, “See you, Jorah.” And Jorah kind of has a look like, “Maybe, maybe not.”
And we're back to the fireside chat. They're out of wine. Everybody wants to go bed, but Tyrion wants to keep rocking it. You know how this is. He wants to party, celebrate Ser Brienne, and they say, “Anybody sing?” And then, Podrick sings beautifully.
I didn't look up the poem, but the voice, plenty have talked about it because they're like, “This is the last night. You know, this is it.” And then, Podrick sings. The camera kind of pans, and then, touches on everyone. So we kind of get a glimpse of everyone in that room. You've got Theon and Sansa, Gray Worm and Missandei share a big kiss. I don't know who else we see because I didn't write it down, but then, Jon is in the basement with …
Khaleesi finds Jon in the basement with Aunt. No, his other aunts. So his aunt finds him with his aunt that's his mom. His aunt that's his girlfriend finds him with his aunt that's his mother. She goes, “Who is this?”
He goes, “My aunt/mother.” But Khaleesi wants to snuggle first before she finds out.
She goes, “Who is that girl?” That's what I put because that reminded me of Madonna, and Jon tells her the truth because he knows it, especially about her … What was it? Her brother or father? I guess her brother, right, Agon. I don't know. I get all the names mixed up. That's Jon's name.
He says, “They were in love. Bran told me and Sam backed it up.”
She goes, “Your brother and your best friend told you this.”
And he goes, “My name is Agon, but you could call me Ag or Aggie-poo.” And he goes, “This is strange.” He goes, “Even for me.” But he says. I like that he says, “It's true, Dany.”
And she goes, “If it were …” What does that say? Three hours, marching sound, branch loads. They start to talk about what it means for the Seven Kingdoms and the Iron Throne, and then, there's three horns, then there's marching sound effects, and I don't know what branch loads means. It means something looks, fierce looks. So we have fierce looks from Khaleesi and Jon.
We have this ominous shot of Tyrion looking and there's music and the camera pulls out and we see the long-haired Northerners on horses with no names and that's how the episode comes to a close.
So we're going to run through some stuff that came out in the episode. One thing was King's Landing. I googled it and it turns out King's Landing, you could go to King's Landing in New York State. It's at the corner of Maplewood Drive and Lake Ave in Rochester New York, and it's like Rochester's first place where people, big farmers, rest. Also, the site of the first settlements and some of the river port pioneers and veterans live there or stay there now.
You might say, “What river, Scoots?”
And I would say, “Well, presumably, the Niagara River,” but I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe the Rochester River, I don't know the name of the river in Rochester. It looks nice though.
I was mainly trying to figure out what this body of water was outside of King's Landing. So there will be a lot of research, or just basic … So this is from A-W-O-I-A-F, at Westeros.org, a wiki of Ice and Fire. We'll just run through a couple of these notes on King's Landing because I said, “Well, is there a lake there? Is it a reservoir? Does anybody else?”
Thus far, it doesn't appear like a lot of people care, but also there's a lot of cool maps and art.
So, let's see. King's Landing is the capital of the Seven Kingdoms on the crown lands, east coast of Westeros, at the mouth of the Black Water Rush, overlooks Black Water Bay, but that doesn't … The site of the Iron Throne, Red Keep. It's surrounded by a wall.
Oh, here it is. I see it. Well, that looks like it's close to [Herrond 00:50:56] Hall though. Well, maybe that was the thing. I'm looking at it, the crown lands. Maybe that's just the land around there. I do see something, presumably, south of Herrond Hall that could be considered a big lake. So maybe that was it.
So, I guess. Let's see. Notable locations … The alchemists of [Fleebottom 00:51:28] … King's Landing streets and squares. So this is a lot of stuff in here, if you're interested, history. A lot of this is from the books though. So you don't want to get too close maybe. I'm going to say, “Anything in here about tourist traps?” No.
So search over here. Let's see this next link I have access to … I'm waiting for it to download right now. So how is everybody doing? Just sitting here on the internet. They don't even have the internet in Westeros so, but this is just supposed to be another map here of something.
Okay, so they have another map over here. This is just the city. So this doesn't do us any good. It kind of just shows the three hills there and interesting. Another good picture. Here's of a Gameofthrones.fandom.come wiki, a major wiki of place. Let's just see if we find anything here.
Seven largest history, notable locations, Little Finger gets some credit here. The street of the sisters, the street of flower, the street of silk, the street of steel, the street of seeds … 500000 people possibly live there, but yeah, nothing. I'm not seeing the lake that I'm interested in.
Then, there's this awesome map at fantasticmaps.com. I didn't really have time to look too much at it because of school. It's a drawn map by this person, who runs the site, John. So I just thought I would link to it because I really thought the art was cool.
Yeah, but again, no sign of that lake, but I'm sure it exists. Maybe I'm just thinking it's closer to King's Landing than I thought.
Another thing came up about fireplaces, and I think that this came up a while ago. So this is from texasfireframe.com and it looks like a site, but it says, “Do fireplaces really heat.” And you've heard the myth maybe that they don't heat. They send it out the chimney, and yet, before central heating, millions of homes were heated by nothing but wood burning fireplaces. They've been used for warmth.
So are they wasters of energy? “Why the change of hearth?” They say. Dr Kranberg addresses the anti-fireplace fallacy: “1.4 million years ago, people domesticated fire. An open fire on a domestic hearth has been the core source of human thermal comfort that enabled the spread of civilization. Yet, starting in the mid-70s, the concept was challenged. Today, Americans think that fireplaces can't keep you warm.”
Wow, this is like flat earth, I guess. I mean, this is a fireplace selling site though. How did the fireplace get a bad rap? Well, it may have been finances, conspiracies. As the cost of heating soared, a lot of different other things, fireplace products …
Let's see. They talk about their grates, which are good. A hot, efficient fire will cause the thermostat to stay off, if it's located near the fireplace. Other rooms will become cooler as a result, causing people to deduce the heat is being sucked out of these rooms, when in fact, the heat was just turned of by the fireplace.
Another factor you could consider, air temperature is the radiant heat on the skin. The energy [inaudible 00:55:54] the house isn't as important as the thermal comfort, they say. Let's see. “Despite myths and misconceptions about the fireplace, there is a rekindling of interest in a classic fire and the savings it can bring to the home owner.”
Oh, here we go. Delivering an estimated five kilowatts of radiant power, though if you use a grate … So this is great. I mean, I didn't really learn how much wood it would take, but it seems like fireplaces work. Otherwise, I guess their point was why would anybody use it.
It's been a while since we talked about the Many-faced God. So let me just run through a little bit of it. He's worshiped by the Faceless People in the free city of Braavos. They believe it's the one god, but it's a syncretic religion. Its followers believe that everyone worships the same god, just under different names. The Faceless People believe that these gods are just different aspects or faces of the same god, the Many-faced God.
The temple of the Faceless People in Braavos is known as the House of Black and White and it contains a large public sanctuary with statues of the Gods. The stranger Weirwood Tree Face, a drowned god made of driftwood, a Lord of Light, a Fiery Heart, a black goat or war, the Weeping Woman of Lys and Line of the Knights. Yeah, there's also other on there. The Hooded Wayfarer, the Pale Child, the Moon-Pale Maiden, and the Merling King.
This is a little bit about it. I don't know I just wanted to look that up because I don't know. Then, there was the movie. I haven't caught this movie yet, Stan & Ollie, even though it does star John C. Reilly and Steve Coogan, both who I love. It came out at the end of last year. It shows them … It's about their personal relationship, while they're going on a musical tour of the United States and the UK and Ireland in 1953 and struggling to get another movie made. And it kind of talks about how Stan and Ollie are kind of dealing with contract negotiations in different ways, and let's see.
I don't want to give anything about the movie away.
It was announce in 2016, written by Jeff Pope, who collaborated with Steve Coogan and Philomena. The filming took place in 2017 in the West Midlands, Birmingham, Bristol, Reilly had to get a lot of … There was a lot of make-work and stuff. It's got a 93% and 7.49 on Rotten Tomatoes and it looks like John C. Reilly won … They got nominated for a bunch of awards.
The Boston Society of Film Critics said John C. Reilly won that and the San Diego Film Critics Society awards. So I don't know. Just a movie I'm looking forward to seeing. Why did I think of it? I can't remember now. Probably something to do with one of the many duos in this episode. Now, we're back together. I don't know.
One thing that comes up with these military things is flank and flanking. No matter how many times I try to read about it, I never understand it. So I thought I would look that up again. In military tactics, a flanking maneuver is a movement of armed forces around a flank.
Oh, great. I've got to learn what a flank is again. To achieve an advantageous position over an enemy. I can't remember if it's the side or the back.
It's useful because the force's offensive powers head towards the front, and then, they circumvent the front of the force. It can be operational or strategic. It's a basic tactic. Flanking means their going from one or two sides in an angle to the enemy's direction of engagement. It can be a surprise or it can be planned and part of it suppresses, then another part meets the flank, advances, closes in, and has to be coordinated. The most effective is a double envelopment, which involves simultaneous flank moves on both sides.
Flanking was usually achieved by cavalry. They do their speed and maneuverability, while more of the infantry can be used to fix them, up front. A defense against, since it is constantly happening. You could use terrain. This is kind of a branch, so the commander can prevent being flanked by anchoring one or more parts to the line and terrain impassable, which is gorges, lakes, mountains, while although not strictly impassable, woods, rivers.
It can be used to anchor a flank, for fortification formations when terrain is favored. As long as they have a place, it was the role of cavalry to be placed on the flanks with speed and greater tactical flexibility, they could both make and guard the flank.
So that's just a little bit about it. I mean, I feel like okay. So they're coming down on the side. I guess that's what it is.
Here's another thing that's always confused me. This is from the Grammarly blog, who versus whom. Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition. When in doubt, try this simple trick: if you can replace the word with he or she, use who. What about they? He, she, or they. If you can replace it with him or her, or them … Him/her/them, is that correct, or use whom. Sorry, I'm rewriting this.
Who should be used to refer to the subject of a sentence. Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb. Okay. So, if you're like most things, you realize there's a difference between these pronouns. Not me. Or you aren't sure. After reading this article, you should know.
Okay, so when to use who? Let's take a look at a couple examples. Who would like to go on vacation? Okay, that's correct. Who made these awesome quesadillas? That's correct. Whom is the object of a verb or preposition. To whom was the letter addressed? Whom do you believe?
How can you tell when your pronoun is the object of a verb or preposition? Try replacing it. So I guess I'm even more confused than before, but it's also because I'm reading for a podcast. So I don't know if that cleared anything up. Let's go over to Pottermore and read about the Knight Bus.
This is by J.K. Rowling over at Pottermore.com. For witches and wizards who are floo-sick, whose apparition is unreliable, who don't like heights or don't like taking portkeys, there is always the Knight Bus, which appears whenever a witch or wizard in urgent need of transportation sticks out their wand arm at the curb.
It's a purple, triple-decker bus, it has seats during the day and beds at night. Not particularly comfortable. Don't drink hot drinks, because the bus jumps from one thing. You know, you could spill your drink. It's a relatively modern invention in wizarding society, takes ideas from the Muggles. There was the need for some form of transportation that could be used safely and discreetly by the underage or the infirm wizards, and Dugald McPhail, who said in 1865, “Let's make a bus like the Muggles have.”
And some wizards, you know, they said it was too Muggle-like. They [inaudible 01:05:07] much of it. J.K. Rowling says, “It was named because knight is a homonym of night. There are night buses running all over Britain after normal transport stops. Secondly, knight, K-N-I-G-H-T, has the connotation of coming to the rescue, of protection, and this seemed more appropriate as a conveyance of last resort. And the driver and conductor of the Knight Bus in Azkaban are named after my two grandfathers, Ernest and Stanley.”
So this is just a little bit about Knight Bus because there's so much about knight in this thing. Let's see. I was going to try to look up what room they could have been in in Winterfell. I don't know if I'll be able to figure that out. Let's see if this will load.
I said, “Wow, how many rooms are in Winterfell Castle and where were they hanging? Where was everybody hanging when they were doing their chillaxing story telling. So this is back to A-W-O-I-A-F.com, the layout. It's a huge castle, several acres, two massive walls, village outside, the Winter Town. This is built around ancient Godswood, over natural hot springs, water supplied through the walls to heat them, making it more comfortable than other castles.
The castle has dozens of courtyards and small open spaces and training yards. The inner ward is the second much older open space in the castle. Inside Winterfell stands the inner castle, which contains the Great Keep and the Great Hall. The Great Keep is the innermost castle stronghold, built over the natural hot springs, composed of granite and connected to the armory by a covered bridge.
From a window on the covered bridge, you can see the entire yard. The Great Hall is used for receiving guests. I mean, that's where they had their meetings. Raised platform, there's the small steps, had it built for Catelyn. The round tower is the First Keep and oldest part of the castle, but no longer in use, and there's the broken tower, which was once the tallest tower.
I remember this from the first book. A lot of this is from the book. So, I don't know. Then, there's the downstairs, the Bell Tower, Library Tower, Maester's Turret below the Rookery, and the Guards [inaudible 01:07:42] Tower.
And Winter Town is the town outside that I saw out there, that I was like, “Hey, is that the pub?” We've probably looked up Tarth before, but it's been a while. So I said, “Where is Tarth? Where is Brienne from?”
Tarth is also called the Sapphire Isle. It's an island I the Narrow Sea on the East Coast of Westeros. Straits of Tarth, the Northeast is Ship Breaker Bay. It's considered part of the Storm Lands. It falls under House Tarth and they're sworn to Storm's End. It's said to be beautiful, lakes, waterfalls, mountains, high meadows, shadowed vales, striking blue sea on which it sits. It's got a hidden valley behind the mountains. I don't know. I just wanted to look it up, a little thing.
And then, finally, to end it with the Khaleesi saying, “Who's that girl?” Or “Who's statue?” And that reminded me of a song by Madonna from the soundtrack of her '87 film, Who's That Girl? It was released in June of '87. It was the first single. It was also on the Greatest Hits album, Celebration. Madonna requested Patrick Leonard do a up-tempo song to capture the nature of her film persona.
Let's see. The music video created a different persona of Madonna, rather than her film character. Let's see. It's a classic. I can't sing it. Critical response explained that the song was Madonna's best take on her original musical style. So that's a link to that Wikipedia article.
Then, there's one about the film. Maybe I've seen the movie. I don't remember. The screwball American comedy, directed by James Foley, written by Andrew Smith and Ken Finkleman, came out in '87. Madonna and Griffin Dunn. The story of a street smart … Kind of like the musical Chicago. I don't know. Is it? Maybe not. Kind of like, she's searching for something and he's searching for something, and it was originally called, Slammer, but they changed the name.
Madonna had, I think she had a hit movie, and then, a movie that didn't go so good. It looks like this one also did not do so good, but, I mean, the songs are timeless. So, I mean, I don't know how they would feel about that. Not everything can turn out perfectly, but you know what turns out perfectly is hearing from Tom and Sir Pounce in a second here, thanks.
“Hello everyone. My name is Sir Tommin. You may know me as your Grace, your Lord, my Grace, Sir Tommin, Prince Tommin, King Tommin, best … I believe I am first of my name, but also as Mikey, the neighbor to Scooter, roommate of Ray and the Greggor, but most importantly, the name I carry with me. I could be last of my name, if I still carried the title of best friend of one Sir Pounce. Say hello, Sir Pounce.”
“That's right, Sir Pounce, I'm not sure what you said, but did you say ranch dressing because it has been a while since we had some of that. Also, Sir Pounce, you're not allowed to have any ranch. Oh, Ray said I'm not either, but I'm best friend of Sir Pounce, the greatest cat who has ever lived, the greatest best friend who has ever been a best friend or a cat or any of those things. Sir Pounce, where did you learn to be such a good best friend?”
“Of course, it's partly me, it's partly you, it's partly the connection we have, and the times we've shared, and speaking of which, it's time for a radio show, which we forgot to do a setup for because the pod man said, ‘Tom, it's time to do your show.' And then, he treated me like I'm supposed to do everything. So, pod man, get in here.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, here at K-Pounce, it's time for the newest radio in our Sunday evening lineup. It's a hard-boiled detective and his hard-boiled sidekick, and we don't know the name of the show, but it's time for your afternoon radio. Tommin and Pounce … Oh, something about Noir on K-Pounce Radio, the radio best friends and cats and best friends everywhere.”
“There I was, sitting with Sir Pounce, waiting for our next case, and the two of us were sitting down, when we heard a tune. Now, it's not strange for us to hear a tune because our office in the back of Chardonnay Noir's club, underground, under the street level. I could hear the chugging of the subway trains, chugging like a thousand dreams chugging along, riding on a train, while they're dreaming, day dreaming, but it was night. And tonight was the fateful night. It was the night Sir Pounce and I took a case, a case about tone, atonement with the father because what happened was we got a call. My phone rang and it went, ‘bring-bring-bring.'”
“A phone is a thing that doesn't exist anymore really, for the most part, but Ray gave me a Playskool phone with a face and it's very nice, and wheels, and then I found out not all phones have wheels, just my phone, and it makes a ring-ring-ring, when I dial it up. But my phone made a ring-ring-ring, and I picked it up, and I said, ‘Tommin here. You've reached Tommin and Pounce. We're here. We're hard-boiled detectives, cracking cases. What can we do you for, [see 01:14:24]?'”
“Hey, Sir Pounce. Can you do that too, when you talk?”
“Yes ma'am. Meow-meow. Meow.”
“Pretty close, Sir Pounce. Mr Pounce, you should watch me a little, see. Okay, Mr Pounce?”
“You're getting there. And the case says, the person on the phone was a mysterious voice and asked me and Tommin to head to the side of town that we happen to be in, the side of town more adventurous than the vanilla sides of town, where normally mother would want me to be at all times, the side of the town with the neon lights and the alley ways, garbage outside, which normally, in my previous life, I wouldn't have had to even see. I said, ‘Please get that garbage out of my view. I am not to smell these things.' But then, I remembered I was tough, see, and I went down the alley, Sir Pounce and I.”
“Sir Pounce walked ahead, sniffing the air. You know, and I was becoming more adjusted to these things too, even the alleyway was mucky and we we walked further down. This alleyway known to be S-E-E-D-Y, and then, we went in deeper into the alleys, where people would go in search of things, in search of, in this case, a parlor of games, King Fun Times, a super happy fun parlor of games, and we went there.”
“And a young person looked up at me and said, ‘What do you want? Are you here to play some games? You need some tokens?”
“And I said, ‘We received a call.' And then, I noticed in the back there was an office, and there was a king of games, Mr Super Happy Fun Times, who was sitting back there. He didn't neither look happy, nor super, nor fun, and he made a motion … And then, the young person at the door said, ‘There's no-‘”
“And I said, ‘Excuse us. We'll be walking in.' But Sir Pounce had already walked in, ignoring the young person, who was going to say there's no cats allowed. We headed back to the room. We went into the back office to the Super Happy Fun Time games parlor, but on the way, I found this game called Fascination, and then, I was distracted and few hours went by playing it.”
“You take these rubber balls. You roll them gently and there's a mirror and you're trying to get them all lined up in a row, and if you do, you win, but it says you win a prize. And there's this giant stuffed animal. I thought it would be fun for Sir Pounce to sleep on the belly of a giant elephant, but then, when I did finally win, they said, ‘Oh, yes. You win a small prize. If you win again, you can upgrade it to a smaller medium prize, then a medium prize, then a medium medium prize, then then medium large.'”
“So I played for some time. I did not win. I won a pencil holder. So one day that will be useful, and then, I went to the office. Sir Pounce was waiting, but bathed and napping, as was the King of the Super Happy Fun Times, or whatever he called himself. He looked familiar to me. I woke him up and I remembered that waking someone else up, sleeping during the day, it's harder to get them to wake. I said, ‘Wake up. I'm here to crack your case.'”
“Sir Pounce started to stretch and awoke, and finally, the King of Super Happy blah-blah-blah. ‘Sorry, sorry.' And I said, ‘Did you call us in for a case?'”
“He said, ‘I did. I called you in for an apology actually.'”
“And I said, ‘What do you mean exactly?'”
“And he said, ‘All this is yours. This whole Super Happy Fun Time parlor is yours. Yeah, I've been keeping it for you, and I want to give it to you.'”
“And I said, ‘Look, the Fascination is pretty great. How come you have so … Sir Pounce, what would you call that?'”
“‘Yeah, a rip off. You're game is a rip off, and this place needs to be swept up and you seem to be mismanaging it, if I'm honest with you. If this is the case, I'm going to tell you the truth.'”
“He apologized again, profusely, telling me that this was his legacy to give to me, and I started to remember things because I have learned things from the pod man and Ray and Mikey and Sir Pounce and the Greggor. So I started to massage. With one thumb, I massage the fleshy part of my hand on my other hand between my thumb and my finger and it helps me accept how I'm feeling.”
“And many complicated feelings were flowing through me. I knew who this man was. I knew what this case really was about. It was about those video games that you can play in your house now, and I told him that. And I said, ‘I'm sorry. This is a place for super happy fun times in the past, and I think you need to rethink your business model, and also, again, if you're going to stay in business, you have to. I'm here with Sir Pounce. We work in the back of Chardonnay Noir's.'”
“And then, I realized, ‘Oh no. This is a different decade, where people don't have video games.' So I said, ‘You can see the future.'”
“And I noticed, you know, he stunk of rye, and I said, ‘Okay,' I said, ‘Listen, man. There's something … You're trying too hard to keep up Super Happy Fun Times, and you know, not all the time. That's why I have a best friend for the times that … Everyone has a best friend and good times. Right, Sir Pounce?'”
“‘But it's when I'm curled up in my bed and Sir Pounce hops on and looks at my bed, and then, I'm in the fetal position, and Sir Pounce gets within the fetal position within my fetal position. That's also when you need a best friend, and sometimes, you're talking to a man, who represents something.'”
“And he said, ‘What? What are you going-‘”
“And I said, ‘Okay. It's tone time. I've learned about this.' And I started to sing to him because I said it's time. I had read when the pod man read me about atonements with fathers, and so, I sang him a song of the future of arcades and video games and also a full spectrum. It was a very good song I sang. Sir Pounce even sang along and we did something like you would see in the cartoons with two cats going around, and he had fallen back to sleep, and I said, ‘Well, okay. Well, I've toned you. Now, I need to move on to my next case. I can't stay here bogged down and what you want for me or you holding on to the Super Happy Fun Times that …' I said, ‘I'm going back to Chardonnay Noir's office with the cabaret club to do my thing. Good day.'”
“And Sir Pounce and I walked. Well, first I played Fascination, and then, I was really in the zone. I think because I had released some things and because my singing. Also, there were only two other players, and they were required to … Because the other players were Ray, the pod man and Mikey. I mean, the Greggor. And I said, ‘Don't win. This is for Sir Pounce, not for me.'”
“So now, I have, back at Chardonnay Noir's office, a giant plush, the called him, a plush elephant, and Sir Pounce is sleeping on it now, on the belly of an elephant, sleeping so soundly.”
“Another case closed. Another chapter that I can move on from. Good day. It's time for my prayers. So God is in the new [Crone 01:23:44], sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barky, Chester, Hound Dog, God.”
It's Scoots here, prayering in, you know. I think I made this joke back on the prayer phone. Crone, maybe I didn't because Crone rhymes with prayer phone, which actually, I think just calls out. Usually it's a smoke phone on my end or the old [clumsomatic 01:24:14] I was going to see, if you need to reach me, Crone, call me on the prayer phone, but I guess it's kind of like a pager. I send out a page to you, and eventually, maybe, I'm just kidding, God.
So gods, I'm here, humble in my servitude, and actually, that's really why I'm calling in is to work on this mission here of continuing our relationship. This is a new thing, and more than likely, I'm the only human being. Okay, God, so how do I break this to you?
Okay, I may be the human grappling with this, in this particular manner, but I'm sure other people may be dealing with this is … Because a lot of people … Let's see how do I say this? In a bit more … You know, some people change their belief systems, depending on the stages of their life, the seasons of their lives. Like prayers through an hourglass.
I don't know how to breach this. Maybe we've breached it before. I feel like we know one another well enough, but also Crone, you're supposed to be all seeing and all knowing. Oh, I didn't introduce you. Well, I guess I did the last episode.
Okay, well, there's two issues here. I've already blown through one week. This is week two that I'm going to use up, but just breaching the subject, so I'm really going to have to buckle down. You know, I have to find a way to write totems. Some part of my brain just shouted it out. Icons. I think those go against a lot of the rules and other belief systems, but we'll come back to that, just in the image. Okay, thank you.
Sorry, God. You know, believe it or not, you have [planopoly 01:26:15], I got mine up in my brain. A variety of personalities and they all think they're gods, believe me.
Anyway, Crone. Sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barker, Chester, there's two issues at hand. I mean, the real question, sub-textually is how may I serve thee? And I'm not kidding. You might be snickering, but here's the situation. Crone went away on a week's vacation. You know, Maiden wouldn't get back to my prayer texts, whatever those are called. What is that thing called? Pager.
Okay, God, so here's the thing. We're parting ways, where we have these official meetings in a few weeks, and I don't want to kind of break any illusions. Some of it is based on my own belief systems too, but I guess I never double checked that you didn't know you were on a fictional TV show. Also, I don't think not all of you knew that you were fictionalized from a fictional TV show that's a nesting doll within a nesting doll.
Before you overreact, first leave George R.R. [inaudible 01:27:37] out of it. They get enough on their plates. Hopefully, I think they're all working on cool stuff. So, let's keep them out of it, especially R.R. because I don't need, like, the last thing I want to picture is him chilling. You know, maybe he just doffed his cap to a friend, and then, he's sitting there thinking about the Jets, saying, “This year, season 19/20 is out year. I get to focus on all the games because I don't got to worry about it, you know.”
And then, someone says, “George, I haven't seen you in ages. Well, sit down. Have you heard of that Sleep With Me pod?”
“No, I've never heard of it. You know, I sleep great.”
“Well, there's a couple episodes, where he created his own …”
Okay, so God is like a … Here's the thing. I believe that there is spiritual energy and that possibly, this is a possible, because a lot of people say, “Well, how can you believe? How come you don't believe the same thing, you know?”
That can happen. I'm sure it's happened in your experiences, especially those of you that are new to this God thing, like Miller, Smith, oh, everybody, but the Crone. Well, Barky, you're the oldest of the old gods, but you're also kind of like the aspen. I think you're whatever, multi-related or I don't know how to describe it, but so the spiritual energy, I believe …
You know what I mean, gods? I think you know. So, I don't know whose fault. I really don't know who to point the finger at to start with with this bad news I'm giving you, and I guess I'm pointing it at nata. Let's not point fingers. Let's fix things.
So there's two possibilities. Hopefully, this isn't news to you because you should, but I guess if you're God, you might have other stuff on your mind. Clearly, Maiden, you've got other people on your mind, other than me, which is fine. I'm sure it's just the warriors, or maybe the Smith.
Believe me. You know it's good, Maiden. I've had the Smith on my mind too, and the Miller, picturing that grinding grains. Anyway, so, where was I?
So if my belief systems have somehow given you extra energy and brought you further into existence, maybe, let's not go down that. God, the real reason I'm here is to say, “How are we going to keep in touch?”
What if we have a summer camp? Every summer, I think this is it, God. So I say, “Well, let's talk to the gods. They'll help you figure it out. That's why they call it divine inspiration. You know, if the communication channel is not open, the energy can't flow, and every time I doubt that, God, then, boom. The next thing you know, you're here.
I guess this will work out for the next five weeks or four weeks, whatever we have together, is we'll plan a summer camp, then we'll know every year, from here. I mean, I don't know, Crone. What do you got in store? What's cooking up, coming down the road? Maybe even in two or three planes of existence, not just this plane. Maybe this is a summer camp that exists in all realms. You know, it could go all the way back and all the way forward. That could be pretty sweet.
Oh, what's a summer camp? Great question, whoever asked that. Well, you know, also, Maiden, I only went to summer camp once because it didn't go good and it was only for a week, but when I found out how much it cost, I can't believe I didn't, like the one summer camp I went to was a great deal, but I also went to computer camp. That wasn't sleepover, but that didn't go good either.
So most of my experiences with camps haven't been great because I went to summer camp. That was overall a good experience with its ups and downs.
The computer camp I was at, I was asked to leave computer camp for being outside in front of glass. Just go ahead and google, God. That's fine. I've talked about it before.
So those were the camps I've been to. So maybe, I don't think I'm going to be a camp counselor. What I was saying, Maiden, though, is at least in the movies, that's the time … Maybe not. I'm just playing with the gods I'm normally in touch with. So gods, let me know this week what you think about us starting a summer camp. We'll plan it out, then we'll have it scheduled because the thing is that's why I said, “Don't worry about this fictional stuff.” Because the whole purpose of me prayering in right now is to plan for the future and also because I accept my humanity sometimes.
I judge my humanity, but like I said, “Well, Scoots, you're not so good at keeping in touch with the gods, unless it's on the schedule.” And I don't think I can handle one of those schedules, like every Sunday, you know, every Saturday. That's holy.
So this would be good, gods. It's the kind of thing. Here's another piece of good news. When it's the occasional things, the glaze of nostalgia goes over it, so you look forward to it, even if it, like, I would still go back to summer camp, even though.
Computer camp, I wouldn't, but they won't let me back there probably, but summer camp, the probably wouldn't either, if I could travel back in time anyway, but you know what I mean, God? You forget that you didn't like it. You say, “Wow, man, I can't wait to get back there.”
Not that I don't every moment with you, Crone, sweet, sweet Crone. This will be good. This will give us some structure. We'll start building the anticipation. We'll think of activities or roles for all of you and we can even call it the Spiritual Summer Camp.
I know not everybody likes that word, but we are talking to the old gods and the new. So that's good, God. Thank you for your inspiration because I wouldn't have been able to think of that on my own, which is kind of amazing because even though I'm talking here in a calm voice, my mind is kind of blown because they said, “Well, we really got to sit down and figure this out.”
I only got a couple weeks left with the god. Now, this doesn't mean you'll be on the podcast, gods. I can't guarantee that part, but maybe we'll work it out. Also, I can't believe I never thought of it. Barky, you know, I did put those Good Place episodes out for you and I'm not sure if you got them or the other computer that I got. It was refurbished and I wrapped it in shrink wrap and it's not there anymore, but I got a feeling you're not using it because when I looked up where it was, it was in South West Lake somewhere, and I said, “Well, is that really where Barky is? That looks like there's no trees.”
But hey gods, you may check out the Good Place. I think that you'll like that show too, but here we go. That's what we got going, gods, the next few weeks, spending time together, building something, building a future. You know that the best part of the year, you know, swimming, fishing, canoeing, dancing.
So Crone, sweet, sweet Crone, Miller, Smith, Barky, Chester, Hound Dog God, never fret. I'm here, your humble servant. I've never gotten the award humanist of humans, gods, but I would be in the running. So fallible am I that you already know it. You know I [inaudible 01:36:07], you dealt it or whatever, gods. So thank you for guiding me. Thank you for this inspiration. I'm looking forward to this now, gods.
I was worried. Really. Our friend, Melissa, she sent us this video from [inaudible 01:36:24] City. Gods, you turn a frown upside down, just like Lionel. So gods, old and new, oldest of the old gods, and newest of the new gods, we've got the Crone.
Crone is a new god, not newest of the new gods, but a new god, I think. Miller, Smith are gods that are top drawer gods, in my book, but the new gods, like the father, the mother, and the warrior, that, you know, they said, “Well.” Those are more employee gods.
They're words I heard, not mine.
Chester and Hound Dog God, you're the newer gods.
And Barky, oldest of the old gods, a tree. You know, older than Tree Beard and wiser, but with spring in your step. No offense to Tree Beard, but I just picture you like a little bit more spry.
All right, gods. I'll talk to you soon. I'll be working on this holy summer camp, gods. I'll talk to you soon. Rest and good night.