766 – D&D and Me Unboxing

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary. It's time for the podcast, I see you there having trouble getting to sleep, and I'm here to try to help. Time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep patrons, and you keep it going. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it the bedtime story. All you need to do is get into bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake. Whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature, situation, schedule, thoughts that are coming up for you, things you're feeling physically or experiencing emotionally. Whatever it is I'm here to take your mind off it. I've got this safe place.

Moving my hand now in I think a clockwise motion, now a counterclockwise motion, smoothing. Now right and like a side-to-side motion, smoothing, padding, and rubbing down that safe place that I've set aside for you. What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice once you get comfortable – well I'll already do it but you can pause it and get comfortable or go ahead and get comfortable while I talk, either way. But I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. My usual lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Pointless meander's, superfluous tangents, go off topic, I'm going to get mixed up, almost totally get mixed up on purpose. Use filler words. Oh boy, you say, “How do you plan your filler words out Scooter?” Well that's interesting, what I do is I fill a wagon up with filler words. For real? Well no, actually both believe it or not. I do it both in my brain. I find that if I tactiley do it in person then in my brain – well I might as well finish this metaphor out huh.

I was going to try to explain it, the new listeners some things, but no. So I take a wagon, of course it's a red wagon. You know what? It's of course not, it's a purple sparkly wagon that was once red. But then I said, “Oh I always wanted something purple and sparkly.”You know, with that glossy sparkle paint you'd see in a car in like that second Fast and Furious movie. I think that was the one that to have a car… you know what I mean? Like the sparkles, glitter, it's not glitter. I guess it's a bit glittery. It glitters, but it's not glitter. But that's what my wagon looks like. But it's also full of filler words so… no, more than one, oh more than one ominon that way getting it.

Then what I do is, once I get it really full, full to overflowing, but at least initially… and I don't know if this is Sisyphean or just, you know, I call it my daily routine is what I call it. Sisyphus, if I'm anything like Sisyphus, which the odds are 100%. When Sisyphus' day began or the dude with the rock, Golong or whatever, I don't think that when they get to work they have any idea. I mean maybe part of the brain does because that's supposed to be part of their thing of the bad place or whatever. But really they said, “I'm going to get in there. I'm going to have myself – oh this water is… you know, they just think it's a regular day, and it doesn't really dawn on them, or I guess me. You're right, I'm talking about you but I'm really talking about me Sisyphus. Oh it's Sisyphus, it's not Zizyphus, okay excuse me.

You know, believe it or not I was trying to make a metaphor about a wagon full of filler words before I realized how similar our lives are. Oh you're not… well once you were… I assume you got yourself in that situation because … Oh, maybe there are life lessons to be learned here I had no idea. If you could return to Earth would you change your name to Zizyphus? Why would you? I think it's catchy. What about the Sisyphus Z. Zizyphus? I think it would be good if you were civics teacher too. Like civics… or you could have a podcast with civics. It would be hard to say, but I'm sure you'd be up for it. I'm just here, believe it or not… heres the thing Sisyphus, Sisyphus you're right, I'm here on a stealth mission. I just realized it, to take your mind off stuff. In the rock person, Golong. I know that's not your name, it's a bit. I don't really know what Golong's name is.

Also, no offense, if you're rolling a rock up and down I would think about changing my name to Golong. No not go along, Golong. I think you put an extra syllable in there. Go along is two syllables. Golong kind of like 2.25 syllables. Sisyphus I don't need to be told that there's no such thing as 2.25 syllable. Did you see what I did there? Anyway, what I was telling everybody… well now that I have the two of you here listening, and I'm taking your minds off of stuff I'm feeling pretty confident. I was trying to make a metaphor about the podcast. Which is usually structurally with the podcast what to expect if you two ever come to my world and teach civics. You could be a professional rock roller Golong. I like saying Golong. It makes my chest feel strong and full. Go ahead and say it Golong.I know sometimes I accidentally say it and it sounds like go along, but it's Golong. Just like you were hitting a gong. What's a gong. I think you've been chasing that rock too long. Oh you don't chase it? Well maybe you should change it up. When it rolls back down chase it.

Okay but anyway, I was trying to explain what the new podcast listeners. Structurally the show starts out with a few minutes of business, that's how we keep the show free. Then there's an intro where I ramble for about 12 to 15 minutes. About nothing? Kind of, I mean pretty close to what we are doing now to take people's mind off stuff, kind of introduce him to the podcast, if they're new. But regular listener, they kind of decide how they want to listen. Some regular listeners wind down to the intro, a small percentage skip the intro, other listeners start playing it before they get in bed. So there is a variety of ways to use it. You can fall asleep during it, you're right Sisyphus. Okay, why don't you call yourself Correctivus? Sorry, I was really trying to tell people about my wagon that I full with filler words. Fill with filler words, thank you Correctivus. They could be like when you're correcting papers for your civics class you could go into that role. Then you could be okay to be Correctivus. Okay, I always had issues with teachers even when they're imaginary characters or from pandemonium or wherever you're located. No you're not in that, okay.

So, the new listener if you're listening still sorry. Got a little distraction here. But the into is just a long rambly intro to the podcast. But it's part of the show, and it's part to help you wind down. Then after the intro will be a little business. Then the story, which will be about 40-45 minutes. Then there will be some thank you at the end of the show. That's the structure so if you're new couple other things to know, you don't need to listen to this podcast. You can just kind of barely listen, if I ever get to the wagon metaphor it'll maybe won't make any sense.

But I guess it's not that different than watching… I guess if you were watching a kid with a wagon and things were bouncing out of it you would probably intervene and say, “Hey kid you're losing your cookies,” or whatever. What are those called? Fun bot 2000, you know, are those mega blocks falling out of there? “So let me help you.” Or “Is that for your lemonade stand? You're losing all your lemons.” I guess in that case, if your kid had a wagon full of lemons, and you were in a high lemon area, that might be the only time you wouldn't intervene. Where you'd say well it's okay for the kid to lose a few lemons. That's a life lesson. Trying to make lemonade out of lemons and also losing… I've lost my lemons a few times.

So what I was saying, you don't need to listen to the podcast, you can kind of almost passively consume it if you wish. Though some people listen, you can choose, as you get to know the show, what works for you. Also, there is no pressure to fall asleep. The reason the shows are an hour is I'm here to keep you company as you drift off. So you just fall asleep at your leisure. I'm here to be your bore friend your bore bae, your bore cuz, your bore sib, your bore bud. Be at your side, chitter-chattering away and helping you drift off. So that's structurally what you expect. You don't need to listen to me. And yeah, a lot of the content of the show feels a little bit like words falling out of a wagon. And if I was an adult with a wagon full of words, and I would assume Um's and Ah's and Ur's are pretty compostable anyway and are easily swept off the sidewalk by a gentle breeze.

So if you saw me going down the streets… Also, there are only two days so once it falls on the pavement you know it's not a 2-D, and they have a lot of traction. So not something you have to worry about stepping on or something. You would probably just let me keep going if everything's bouncing out of my wagon. You'd say there goes Scoots. Too many Um's and Ah's. I've never seen a wagon full of pregnant pauses but if you did you would pause. I can't even imagine, the images that are running through my mind are very cute. That would be interesting if I walked up and down the street with a wagon full of pregnant pauses. Everyone would pause, they would be like, “Holy cow, that is the cutest thing I've ever seen. What is in that wagon?” It's a wagon full of pregnant pauses. Oh boy, with one pun sitting in the back of it. So winky winky winky poo.

So I don't know, I guess I thought there would be a… let me just check back in with Zizyphus and Golong. Oh their sleeping, perfect. Talk about conquering myths. I mean I don't want to apply for any awards but at least at those two when they come hang with me after. Also, if you two could wake back up, everybody else is asleep including the people that were keeping an eye on you and the mechanisms. So we could just jump out of here. I got a wagon, okay Golong, you two get in wagon I'll pull you. Great I got Sisyphus and… oh no you, really are Golong and Zizyphus. What about Sisyphus and the other. Everybody in the wagon. So I'm going to pull them out of here but basically if you're new to the show give it a few tries.

99% of reviewers and listeners that I hear from say that it took them two or three tries because one, you're skeptical. If you have trouble sleeping of course you are. Who declares there going to be here to put you to sleep? Not me. I'm going to be here while you fall asleep. Or if you can't sleep I'm going to be here till the very end to keep you company. Also, it's just the shows a little bit different so if you try the podcast a few times, and you're finding you definitely don't like it go to Sleep With Me Podcast.com/nothankyou and you can see some options there. I think that's it. I'm glad you're here, I work very hard.

I don't know what's cuter, Sisyphus and Golong curled up in the wagon together as I pulled them along, or a wagon full pregnant pauses. You'll have to decide that. I'm here, I work very hard, I appreciate your time. I yearn, and I strive because I want to help you fall asleep. And here's a couple of things we do to keep the show going. Alright everybody, this may be the first of legendary unboxing we've ever done and also the first unboxing. We haven't done a lot of unboxings on this show. And I don't even know what's in this box exactly, it hasn't been opened yet. I unwrapped it before I came in the climbing closet, or the Harry Potter closet. And also brainstormed what I was going to call this. Now this is two kinds of versions to this. There's AD&D and then there's D&D, which stands for drooling and dungehes but despite what other people will tell you… and this is the starter set. So it's just straight up D&D, which is actually like your entry into this game, drooling and dungehes.

Which is reversed from like the more pop culture. There is a pop culture game, or a game that is a cultural phenomenon for the past 30-40 years. That is a place and then a being. This one is droolers and dungehes, which I'll talk about how I got that title. But I'm holding the box here. The box is about the size of a coffee table book and about the thickness of it. So it's not extremely heavy box. And there's a lot of popular podcasts that are versions of the skill the actual play shows, and a lot of amazing people. You know our good friend Justin and his wonderful brothers. They have a show… Currently I don't think they're playing yet D&D. But they have actual play show The Adventure Zone. There's also a lot of other amazing podcasts I've met out there.

There's also The Broadsword's which is it all women actual play D&D podcast focusing on role play, narrative, and diversity at the gaming table. I had a chance to meet some of the people from the team at PodCon and they were amazing amazing people. They also had an amazing booth. You can find them at… you can search right in your podcast app or go to thebroadswords.com. So those are just two options for your D&D. This will not be an actual play, this will be just a barely play. I guess they got to do some more… well I guess we could go as we go. Because this is topical in some sense, and I didn't realize it. Now you say, “Scootch, what made you decide why to have this?” Oh thanks for saying why do I have this in my hot little hand. Because I would love it if my hand was hot, so hot. Well it was on sale $5, and I said, “This could be cool.” I don't think me, and my daughter could just play D&D together, but I don't know. Plus, for me I didn't play a whole lot of D&D because I was the oldest of six kids, and I was chaotic in general.

I guess this is going to be a lot of memory road stuff in addition to unboxing. And believe it or not I have a couple books that I've been holding on to that, if this works, we could go through more. Okay, so let's go back to the box, we'll see where this leads. But hopefully I'll talk about dragon lance novels, and my cousin who designed his own… and again, I guess I owe him an amends, multiple ones anyway. Because he had actually designed his own role playing game based on James Bond. Guess I'll bring it up now, Sorry John if you're hearing this, or Abbey or Betsy you can tell John. Well just remind me to apologize to your brother. But he had designed it one summer, and he was very excited about it. I'm not the best person, if you're enthusiastic about something… I'm working on this. I guess I've been working on it my whole life thus far with interesting results, and I do wish I had a time machine because I would have been excited now. But he had designed his own James Bond based, or spy based game off a D&D, the rules of D&D, or maybe AD&D. Which stands for advanced, which just means more complicated, maybe more math.

I remember… sometimes your memories are like so crystal clear. I can remember because we were in Pulaski, New York and we're sitting at this table where we tended to play games, and I think he tried to give me, and my brother… like he kept explaining to us because he was very excited, he had different vehicles. A lot of people do this and it takes a lot to design your own game. Different character traits and different things. And we may have played it for… I mean this is something you have to commit to like either campaign but it flourishes best when you're doing it on a regular basis. What was my point? My point was… did I have a point? Oh I'm sorry, you could see he was really excited about it and I don't think we played it very much. At the time, just like now, my thinking tends to distract me from things that would be enthusiastic about. I've got other things… I've got to think about school. We're on break from school, I've got to think about school sorry. So I missed out on a great opportunity to play that game. And I guess that was just my point. But it was cool.

So these are adaptable and inspirable rules I think. And eventually I'll talk about some of my other memories of D&D. And so the cover of this game… now the reason it's called droolers and dungehes you might say is, Scootch, a lot of the beings in there are drooling and deal drooling damage. It's like if you have any pet like animal that is drooling… this one just happens to be. In the universe… well there's like the parallel existence I think, and then there's Universe Maybe, all wild beings or semi-tame beings have the propensity to drool and spittle and stuff, and you can get damaged.

Obviously there's a lot of different ways like ruining your clothes, slipping, tons of different things. Now this is also indulging in a fantasy world so on the cover of this game is a giant turtle… like the biggest turtle you could ever imagine, and so cute. So a green turtle, it's head is coming out of it's shell and it's dominating it and it says D&D Starter Set age 12 plus. And there's even drool and drool vapor coming out of the turtle's mouth. The turtle's… I think they call it Ma. Not on a turtle usually but meaning the turtle's mouth is spread wide with a smile. Huge huge smile. Oh so huge the smile of this turtle.

And then a character, who looks like a knight… again, this is base in a medieval style world. You know a bit like GOT, which maybe I'll try to release this episode right around the start of the GOT season. So this is a knight. The knight is wearing both plate mail and chain mail. Then the knight has a shield which in this world are use to do… especially giant drool, we're talking about a creature. This turtle is the size of way bigger than a school bus. I'm trying to think what…like just the turtle's head is probably the size of school bus. So it drooling on you… which school buses aren't really a thing anymore in a lot of places. But a bus, a city bus would be another one. I mean this thing is the size of like buildings, of like two or three story apartment building, and it's beginning to drool on this knight who has a beard. Also I believe the knight is wearing a cape because something's flowing off the back of the knight. They look to be in a forest. I don't think it's the Forest of Feelings, that's where the Care Bears lived. This is a… I wonder if anybody ever came up with a Care Bear role playing game?

You know we gamify everything. Here's just a thought, a free idea, until you monetize it and then give me like 80% of the money. If you could get the rights to make a Care Bear role playing game then base it on actual healthy practices. Establishing resilience and the assertiveness and those kind of things. But in a subtle way, not on the nose. Then you're forced to feelings, like all those feelings. This could be something I'll work on. But then it says droolers and dungehes, everything you need to know to start playing the world's greatest role playing game. One of these things this thing is famous for is just the art. Now I don't see a credit for the art on the cover.

Now the side of one of the boxes has… it's a starter set and it says droolers and dungehes registered trademark, and then it has two characters. Let me try to go through this game actors assuming genders of characters. But these are two characters, one seems to be a cleric holding a staff and one hand outreached in a kind of robe. I'm not sure, it could be a magic user. Then behind that character possibly… character is floating in the air with flowing white robes and the hair of the character is flowing. Pointy ears, so could be a spirit based being or another spell caster but I would assume… also the moonlight seems to be reflecting off of both characters.

It does look like a cloudy moonlit sky. I don't see a moon but that character does seem to be…one finger is like being held in like an okay symbol but possibly casting a spell. The two ends of the box, so the short sides of the box, they just say starter set. The other side has what I'm guessing is a dwarf in a very heavy plate mail which is a thing. And a giant shield. Looks like it might be looking over at the turtle, or something else, holding a hammer. Little dwarves are known for being very strong, but this is very heavy plate mail, very heavy helm, meaning made out of some sort of metal. The hammer is very big and then a very very big shield. I don't even know what you call those kind of shields but gigantic.

Okay, now when we flip it over is the backside of the box set. The back side of the box says explorer subterranean labyrinths, plunder hoards of treasure, battle legendary droolers. Then it says, the droolers and dungehes… says your gateway to action-packed stories of imagination. The box contains the essential rules of the game plus everything you need to play heroic characters. The journey and adventure in worlds of fantasy. And it says game components, comes with a 64-page adventure book with everything that DM Nietzsche has started. The dungehes master, the 32 page rule book for playing characters levels one through five, five pre-generated characters each with a character sheet and supporting reference materials, and six game dice. I think we do have a 20-sided die. And now when you're ready for even more expand your adventures with the 5th edition player's handbook dungehes master's guide and droolers manual.

Then it has a being, a drooling being on there. Which seems to be a giant version of like one of those hairless, I don't know, what are those usually dogs that are hairless? Or a naked mole rat. I would say like a giant naked mole rat. Though it's standing on two legs and yawning saying, “I'm going to go to sleep now.” Below that it has some details from maps from the game, then it has the box that I'm holding in my hand, and then a nice spread of the materials inside. Let's see what these credits say. It's has the website… I wonder if I paid $10 or $5 for this. The suggested retail in 1999, who did Wizards of the Coast. Used to be… was a different company and I don't want to talk about the company or the people behind it just because I don't want to look like in making light of it or anything. So you know you can do all that research.

Okay, so when I open the top of the box the first thing I see is the dice which will have something to talk about right away. Then there's the adventure it looks like, lost mind of P-H-A-N-D-E-L-V-E-R. Oh, this is interesting, cool, so this gives us some good descriptions here. This was Phandelver, the lost mind of Phandelver. And behind that is all of the art from the cover and the sides of the box combined. So you have the drooling turtle, who is even bigger because you can see the turtle's shell in this picture. They seem to be in some sort of an older place that's a little run-down. I see some pillars, one of the turtles paws is on a pillar. There looks to be a ton of treasure, maybe a waterfall in the back left. And then the characters, we have the Dwarven character, we have the knight blocking the drool, what looks to be missed is from… there also seems to be some sort of magical casting going on of a drool shield between one of the other two characters from the other side of the box. And it seems like the one character with the flowing robes is not necessarily floating in the air but maybe standing on some stairs.

I opened the dice. So these dice, they're colored in. I remember a guy, AD&D probably for a birthday present one year because mostly I was obsessed with the story telling and the art of it and I never really got to play a lot of D&D. But I do remember when I got my dice, that you're supposed to color the dice in with a crayon and then wipe it off with a tissue which I didn't understand. Like somehow my brain… and I think my cousin, the same one that showed me or said this is what you do and I said, “No no no, I don't want to do that with my dice.” It just makes them easier to read. But these dice seem to be painted. So it looks like we have a 12-sided die. Does it have a zero?

No, because then there's an eight sided, which would be in nine sided die because it has a zero. Oh no, this might have more than that because it has a nine. It also has… okay that's how you tell the six from the nine. So I guess this is a ten sided diamond die. Then we have a six sided die. All my dice are blue, black, kind of shimmering, almost like a faux obsidian. They seem to maybe be painted that way. Then we have another diamond dice that's eight sided, like four on each end of the diamond, with a mark [inaudible 00:32:48] which the six is up or down.

Then we have a triangle die. Oh no, I guess it's a four sided die. So whatever is pointed up you have 1 2 3 or 4. But you can read it from all sides of the pyramid. Pyramid die. And then the famous 20-sided die that everyone talks about or jokes about. It's really cool in this light, it has good reflection. I know listers have sent me dice in the past. And so in the rest of the box is the Lost Mind of Phandelver, which is the thickest and heaviest thing. Then is the starter set rule book. Starter set rule book is a close up of the same art from the box and from the cover of the Lost Mind of Phandelver. And then are some statutes, including the ones that are… well they don't have names but including the pre-made ones. Which I guess we'll read through at some point, that will be fun.

It doesn't have any blank ones which I know is always fun. Making a new character usually takes up the whole time of like… so it's another thing of why you've got to really commit to playing the game. But since they have the characters in my hand. I was thinking before I recorded this, think of a character name real fast Scoots, and my braid said Dirk Bath-salts. I said it's a little on-the-nose but I do like it.

So let's see, let's read through this. This character is a cleric 1, that's the class in level. It says soldier, it's a hill dwarf and it's neutral good. I mean it has a 14 in strength +2. An eight in dexterity – 1. A 15 in constitution +2. A 10 in intelligence. I think this dwarfs dexterity is lower than it's intelligence, but wise though. So wisdom is at 16 +3. That's its strongest characteristic. And it's charisma is a 12 +1. It has a 13 in passive wisdom. And again, I don't really know a lot about this stuff. It has no inspiration.

+2 proficiency bonus. Then it's saving throws are, oh that's what I just listed. So I guess those numbers… oh no, I guess that's not true. It's saving throws are +2 for strength, -1 for dexterity, +2 for constitution, +0 for intelligence, +5 for wisdom, and +3 for charisma. And then also some other things it has, in the acrobatics it's a -1. Animal handling, that's a part of wisdom, +3. Oh these are skills that they've learned. Arcana 0, athletics +4, that takes strength. Deception… oh dear, we're kind of neutral good, but it's +1. History +0. Insight though, that's due to wisdom, +3. Intimidation, because of the charisma, I'm like this is a charismatic character +3. Investigation +0, medicine +5, nature +0, perception +3, performance +1. What happens if you have performance anxiety, then negative? I ain't even talking about that, I'm talking like in a crowd.

Persuasion +1, religion +2, slight of hand +1, stealth -1 plus a star, and getting by +3. Other proficiencies and languages, all armor shields, all simple stuff, things for chopping, hammers, playing cards, mason tools and land vehicles. Speech common in dwarfage, stone cunning. Whenever you make it intelligence check related to the religion of stonework you're considered proficient in history skill and add double your proficiency bonus to the check instead of your normal proficiency bonus. So this dwarf knows stone.

18 armor class -1 initiative. Speed is 25 feet. It's drool points are 11. It's drool dice is one 1D8. Let's see what it's currently carrying, a hammer. What is it good for? Which is a +4 and then it does a 1D8 +2, and then also has a chopper choppy which is a +4 at 1D6 though +2. It can also throw that choppy choppy poo… like there's bars now where you throw them up to 20 feet or up to 60 feet with disadvantage on the roll.

Can trips, you know, light of sacred flame, some kind of like metallurgy but faminelurgy, and cast them at will. Descriptions are found in the rule book. Because it's a cleric it has +2 first level spell slots. You can prepare four first level spells to make available for you choosing from the cleric spell list in the rule book. In addition, you always have two domain spells prepared, bless and cure. Equipment is chain mail, but that is what's bad on dexterity. Shield, hammer, two of the cutty poos, holy symbol, a bag pack, a crowbar hammer, ten pitons, ten torches, a tinder box, ten days of rations, water skin, 50 ft rope, mason tools, a pen thing, a deck playing cards, common clothes, a pouch, and a rank insignia of the sergeants. Personality traits, always polite and respectful.

Also, I don't trust my gut feeling so I wait for others to act. Ideals respect, people deserve to be treated with dignity and courtesy. Wow, we're in the same ball park here. Bonds, three cousins: Gundren, Tharden, and Nundro Rockseeker who are my friends and cherish clan members. Or my friends and cherished family members. I secretly wonder whether the god's care about mortal affairs at all. This seems to be something that comes up in D&D. A spell-casting ability, wisdom is a spell-casting ability for your spells. Disciple of life. I don't want to read everything word for word out of here. There's also a whole back page, I didn't realize that. So really a lot of details.

And these other characters, let me just run through… Oh an extra is a noble human, lawful neutral. What do they do? What's their thing of? Oh fighter 1. A very strong 16 +3, not much dexterity, constitutions eye 15 +2, this isn't a smart group 11 +0, but wise is 13 +1, and charismatic 14 +2. This person's got a +5 in athletics, a +3 in perception, +4 in persuasion, +2 in performance. So this is not a super… so far low dexterity, high wisdom, high charisma. They have a speed of 30 feet, I don't know what that means. 17 armor class, they roll with an ax and a javelin which they can throw 30 feet. They also have chain mail which is why they can't do anything. They have a second wind, they have a limited well of stamina they can draw and if they need it. They can be defensive thanks to their noble birth. People who are in a position of privilege tend to think the best of you, welcome in high society.

So noble, personality, my flattery makes others feel wonderful and important. I don't like to get dirty though, and I wouldn't be caught in unsuitable accommodations. Responsibilities, my ideal to protect the common people. Roll with my ax which is a family heirloom. This person has a flaw, they have a hard time resisting the allure of wealth, especially gold. Looks like they are looking to restore some legacy.

Next up is a rogue one light foot halfling, so they have very little strength 8 -1, real high dexterity 16 + 3, casting is 12 +1, intelligence 12 +1, low wisdom, so this is like a kid, 12 +0. Again, high charisma 16 +3, so a likable group, very high. +7 is stealth and +5 in slight-of-hand, +5 in performance, look out. +3 in investigation and +5 in deception and in aerobatics. They can sneak, 14 armor class, 25 feet, personality, I don't have a plan but I'm great at making things up as you go along. Loyal to my friends, bonds is Qualine Alderley, my aunt has a farm in Phendaline and I always give her cash. But also once was a member of the Red Branch, they can speak thieves, their lucky, brave, nimble, naturally stealthy, can talk to the seedy sailors and the such. So that's the rogue.

Folk heron what the heck. Fighter 1, human, lawful ,good, folk hero. I hope they're a fold singer. Very strong 14 +2, very high dexterity at 16 +3, that's the same as our rogue. Constitution is high, this person's got everything. Constitution at 15 +2, not smart 11 +0, wisdom 13 +1, not likable though. They're a folk hero but their charisma is 9 -1. We'll see what they're good at, animal handling, their dexterity, good at history +2, perception +3, slight-of-hand +3. Lets see what else, they have S-W-O-R-D and a bow, leather armor, when I set my mind to something I follow through. Sincerity is my ideal. Bonds, one day Thundertree will be a prosperous town again and a statue of me… this sounds a little bit like Gaston. I mean Gaston was Gaston's own fold hero.

I'm convince of the significance of my destiny and blind to my shortcomings, that's my flaw. They have rusty hospitality because they're folk hero because they're common and they can hide out among them. They also have a second wind. I would like to know what the heck they did to have it be a folk hero. Background, from Thundertree east of the city of Neverwinter but nearby Mount Hotenow, erupted 30 years ago and they drifted from village to village. They've been in Neverwinter for last few years as a porter and it's cooler to you and everyone around you that you're destined for much more. They want to be a folk hero I guess. Well good luck with that.

This ones funny, wizard one and high elf. Are they high all the time? Their acolyte is chaotic good. Lets see, their not strong, no offense, 10 +0. Dexterity is pretty good 15 +2, constitution is 14 +2, intelligences is [inaudible 00:47:06] 16 +3, wisdom 12 +1, and charisma is 8 -1. So they could probably hide in the background. A 5 in arcane, you know that's magic types stuff. History and insights are good, +5 in investigation. +3 in perception, +5 in religion, let see… cantrip, they know mage hand, prestidigitation or something, frost ray, grasping poo, and they can cast them at will. They have two fist level spell spots, just like very similar so they can pick out of there. They use poly-syllabic words that convey the impression of iridization or whatever.

Also, I spent so long in the temple that I have little experience dealing with people on a casual basis. Knowledge into the past and self-improvement is through knowledge. The tome I carry with me… they were writing their own biography it turns out and they want to uncover historical secrets. They can see in the dark over 60 feet. They don't need to sleep, they can just go into a meditative state three times a day. They can't be charmed or put to sleep. They are a servant of the Old Alkmaar and they can perform the rights to that they could also probably stay there for free and visit the temple. Lets see, what else do we need to know about them. That's the all seeing God of knowledge, of course the name I can't pronounce so this is embarrassing. They're chaotic good because they're pursuit in acquisition knowledge is for the benefit of all and they share it freely. So that's a little bit about them. They're an elf which is otherworldly, grace living in the world but not entirely part of it.

So the rule book, let's just run through some of the art. Oh my goodness, jackpot. As soon as you open up the rule book, and I definitely remember this picture, there is a group. There's two elves that are around a campfire. Definitely like a warrior type, a rogue type, a halfling type, somebody like wizard. The warrior is looking right at me. And a dwarf that is sound asleep. The wizard type, there is somebody with a staff with real fancy robes. They seem to be making a speech about something. Ian, the rogue character seems to be warming their hands. Then if we go even deeper in it shows like when people are dealing with the droolers. So we have one knight character dealing with two… like a puppy sitter kind of trying to drool. Then it is some sort of the elven, even more of a with a little cat type of thing in there dealing with droolers and trying to distract the puppies by playing fetch. Then on one side of the painting there is some kind of spell caster with something blue, kind of like Jedi robes on, and a dwarf. Dwarfs are very popular. This dwarf has some kind of gigantic beard.

Chapter three opens with some art. Another dwarf. This dwarf has…what is when you do that with your hair? Not a ponytail, but braids. A braided beard. One, two, three, four, five braids and they kind of seem like they're going down the stairs. Dwarfs in the front but then another warrior type, rogue, or whatever those two dexterous things are, and then a caster in the back with a glow stick and his real cool flowing white robes with a hood, which I like. And a brown leather, so another Star Warsesque level character. There's also on some pages like a little pieces. Like there is one with a lantern, a rope, playing cards, and sharpening tool and maybe a map behind it.

Chapter four does talk about spell casting. And we have a blue fleshed creature and a gray fleshed creature with dark blue hair and a two or three tone blue robe. It's casting a spell next to it in a giant old log and really working hard at it. I just saw one of the words that could pronounce, let me see. Lets see, sleep is the first level enchantment. Casting time is one action 90 feet. [inaudible 00:52:46] either VS and M. Pinchified rose petals or crickets, it's duration is 1 minute. This spell sends people into magical slumber. Roll a 5D8 and a total is how many hit points the droolers. This spell can affect creatures within 20 feet of point you choose within range are affected in increasing order of their current points. Ignoring ones that are already sleeping starting with the being that has the lowest current point each one falls asleep until the spell ends. I would only last one minute.

Where does it predict designation or whatever? Here it is, it's a transmutation cantrip prestidigitation minor magical trick that novice spell casters use for practice. You can do one of these, you can create a sensory effect or an odd odor or musical notes. Later snuff out a candle, clean or soil and object… this sounds like they're a blast to be around. Yeah, clean or soil and object, chill, warm, or flavor. That's what it says, up to one cubic foot of non-living material for an hour. That would be good if your kid chewed their nails or something. Make a color or small mark or symbol for an hour. Create a non-magical trinket or illusory image that can fit in your hand and last until the end of your next turn. If you do this multiple times you can have three of us non-instantaneous effects active at a time and you can dismiss such effects as an action.

Okay, let's finish up with this guide to the Lost Mind of Phandelver. It's 64 pages so we're not going to take that time to get into the weeds. We're just digging some of the art. Oh boy, so we got an overall map which shows the North, South, East, and West. And West side is the coast, and a coastal city, Neverwinter and the high road runs North and South through Neverwinter. If you head South on the high road you reach a Leilon, L-E-I-L-O-N. And then you head in between the mountains down to the M-E-R-E, Mere. Maybe another sea, oh no it seems like a swamp that the road runs along. Also in the South is the Sword Mountains, the Kryptegrdin Forest, K-R-Y-P-T-G-R-D-I-N, is behind the Sword Mountains. Looks pretty hard to get to. I think somebody was from Phandalin. Or maybe that's where the whole game takes place. There's Windeko Cave, Ice-fire peak, Wrvyn Tore. These are all in little Foothills. Old Owl Well, I'd like to go there.

And then if you go back over to Neverwinter there's a river flowing through Neverwinter. It heads East to Thundertree, then there's a giant forest Neverwinter Wood. So in the center of the map but south, this is a hex map, is Cragmaw Castle in the middle of Neverwinter wood. Whatever the river is really spreads out. It looks like it comes from a couple different mountains and hills. There's Agatha's Lair and the Triboar Trail. Agatha's lair is, just in case you want to visit her, it's the southeastern edge of Neverwinter Wood. And Coneybear is near Agatha. Then all the way in east side of map is the Star-metal Hills, the center east.

In the central north of the Crags, and then where Neverwinter Wood is split south of the Crags by Mountain Hotenow, which came up in somebody's history. There's also an un-named forrest to the west and north of Neverwinter Woods and Mount Hotenow and the Crags. And this is where the adventure begins. There's also the Cragmaw Hideout. Which is like a crag somewhere inside. There's briars, there's a bridge, there's an escarpment, there's river running through it, an indoor river where water moves fast, there's rubble, there's stalagmites, there's handmade steps in the stone, stone walls, and also supplies which I don't want to give away.

One square does each roll five feet. There are NPC party members but they might only join the party for a short time during one of these adventures. Then we have a nice painting of some mushrooms. Then on the other side we have some… I don't know what kind of creatures they are but they're definitely droolers. They're pointing at something, they're in some crags. The crags are carved with the giant turtles. Wait, there's one, two, three, four, five and there's this sixth one up standing in a tree. So they seem to be looking around to do something. Then we have phan… we'll finish off with… hopefully you'll dream about visiting Phandalin because it does look nice.

From the south the miners trail leads in past a few farms. There's one on the left. Then another one on the right. And another house on the left. Then as it rolls into town there's Halia's house is near one of the farms. Then there's the Phandalin Miners Exchange. Then there's a woodworker right there, not long after you get into town. Lanene's home is there, there's the Lion's Shield Koster, which may be… I don't know what you call it, maybe a place where you hang. Miner's Trail splits up into town, you could stay in Harvin Wester's house, you could go visit Harvin. There is Alderley Farm, I think that's a farm to table restaurant. There's the Town Master's Hall, if there's any official business. On west side of town is the town Green. There's the Eldermath's Orchard. Holy cow, if you're there in apple season do yourself a favor go to Eldermath's Orchard. Do some some apple picking and then follow it up. Sister Grakowli's house is there, there is also Shrine of Luck. You really want to just visit that. There's also a smithy on that side of town in the northern central town.

The Triboar Trail heads out of there. Past a few more farms. There is also Barthan's Provisions which is like a… they have these gobstoppers there or whatever, some candy to suck on. Great place. And Barthan actually lives behind the shop. There is the Stone Hill Inn which is a nice place to crash. But if you have time make sure to go over to sleeping giant. That's where all the locals hang out. And of course looking over the town is Tracendar Manor where the rich people live I think. I mean there's a lot more adventure just in this kit so if you see it on sale definitely do it. Then you could get into AD&D. I did not get a chance to talk about Dragon Land but I have talked about it on the show before. But I have actually been reading Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickmann are just. I don't know those novels just meant a lot to me when I was in 8th grade, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade. And I may have re-read them once or twice including in my 30's when I was going through a really hard time. They offer the same escape I had when I was in my angsty youth. And I just read, I don't know if I re-read them, but two of the last three Dragon lands novels they published. Who are the original characters, but like what they were doing in between the main three books. So that's just a little bit about me and D&D and a little box opening. Get you in the fantasy mood. Thanks