760 – Mystery of the Silent Founder | Big Farm S2E7
As soothing as a trip to the great gravy realm with the charismatic chuckler.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary patrons. It's time for the podcast [inaudible 00:00:08] candied heart patrons. I'd still be in business and ideally I'd say your choice, lowing, soothing tones, creaky docents or you could say all of the above. Probably wouldn't say all of that, but I'd also say, thank you for helping keep the show going. Thanks for believing in value for value. I couldn't do it without you. Thanks. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, [inaudible 00:00:33] racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, well welcome. This is sleep with me. The podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it to bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest.
What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, you were thinking something on your mind, physical sensations that you're experiencing or feeling sad that that had happened to be coming up or that you're dealing with whatever it is. It could be changes in time, temperature. It can be just as if you're traveling the night before travel thing that happens to me. I mean it all happens to me, got something big tomorrow, had something big yesterday. Hey, whatever is keeping you awake, I'd to take your mind off stuff and to keep you company and to help you fall asleep. It will also to maybe brighten up your mood or just to be here to keep you company.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use a lowing, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I'm going to try to smooth and basically create an auditory safe place like an auditorium. I wonder if that's because they thought the acoustics were good in there. But this is the auditory safe place where you say, well I associated auditorium's more with like a [inaudible 00:02:16] like sit up straight situation. And they say, no problem, this is not an auditorium, this is a safe place like you could lounge. Some people like sitting up straight. So if you want to sit up straight, go ahead. You want to lie down, you want to kick back? Also, you could change positions at any moment.
Like I said, all you need to do is get in bed, turn off the light some press play, I'm going to do the rest. So what am I basically do is structurally if you're new, welcome. First thing I'm going to do is do some rapport building and all my ratings and rapport building have come in pour. You say your rapport. So for like … I don't know also my rhyming around rapport. It is poor, but ideally it'll lead you to snore. I didn't even realize snore rhymed with rapport and so [inaudible 00:03:12] Scooter there's 27 intros where you rhymed rapport and snore. Oh, I forgot about those. It's a good thing. I have a like a … I guess when I say I'm not absent minded, my memory's absent. You know say, can you check in memory's office and see where we are with those rapport jokes. You say, sorry Scoots, memory's out of the office, so I'll laugh or whatever.
So how many days in rows and memory been absent for work? Well, memory usually rolls in around 10:15, checks the break room, checks the snack room, checks the outdoor work area and then circles back around. Then I don't know, it says I got some meetings, so I got to run out to a client. Okay, we'll hold up, ain't I my my memory's only client. Like I said Scoots, I'm just delivering. Then maybe some days at those meetings, memory will text me and say, you know what, this is a big, I got to run over this. Sometimes it'll be personal. Let's say I need some like a … sometimes a memory says, you know I have some in lieu time from when I was working late the other day, so I won't be back in the office, actually this week again.
Wow. I think I've worked with a lot of people like this memory and sometimes memory will come back after lunch to chill or check back in with people. Then usually around 2:15 to 3:00 PM, if memory is in the office, usually still taking little snooze, if not usually out of the office. Okay, great. I get to get back to my … I don't want to be absent in my rapport building.
So those are the superfluous tangent if you're new. Structurally, I wanted to give you what to expect, wanted to do about four minutes ago, but that really gives me some insight into some stuff. I don't know. Hopefully I'll write this down later. Say, okay, when it's time for … I don't know, can you give your memory of poor performance review? Looks like another part of my brain just pulled out too. Maybe they're out to lunch together.
Also, when they stay out to lunch, now for me this has a whole new meaning. I'd say, Oh, I thought that was a metaphor, you're serious. They're not going to be out to lunch for the rest of the day. My memory and my vocabulary brain, they're like in a mimosa based lunch somewhere. And it's frigging Tuesday, I say, what in the hell, like you got to have this episode out. So anyway, if you're new, sorry about that. A structure, what to expect.
The show starts off with business, that's how we keep it free because it's a sleep podcast. Then there's an intro. The intro is around 12 to 15 minutes or so, kind of a show within a show. They're actually a part of the podcast that you are welcome to skip. You can skip ahead to about 18 minutes, but most people as they start to listen to the podcast, it kind of becomes part of their wind down routine, or they're falling asleep routine kind of depending on the listener.
Some people like to start it before they get in bed and they kind of listen. Maybe they do some light crocheting, maybe some medium weight crocheting, maybe some heavy knitting. I don't know. Or any of those metaphorically. Cross wording. I don't know if journaling maybe distracting. Doodling. Here's something. Let's start this together. I didn't mean to go off topic once again, but maybe this could be part of a thing we do together, bedtime doodles. Also, maybe if my lawyer is listening, let's see, can we afford to trademark that? No. Okay. I have that answer. Bedtime doodles, the newest. Netflix, call me back. I'm serious by the way.
But [inaudible 00:07:32] don't call me back, message me. But let's do this, I think that's a show we could do, bedtime doodles. Also, if you're looking for a nickname for me, I think I'd like to be called bedtime doodles from now on. Doodles is nice. That's what they'd say too. What if we do some bedtime doodling? And doodling and noodling aren't that different, you know, with your pen. So you could do any of those things. You could skip the intro. More and more people do listen during the day, especially if they have a coworker like my memory where you say, okay, I guess I'll just do the memory's work for it. That's what I usually do. Especially since I work for myself now.
I can't believe it, but you say, well, life lessons, they keep learning them, even when I work just for me. But where was I? Oh, you could skip the intro, but it's kind of part of a show. See how it goes. Then there's business, that's important to keep the package free for everybody. Then there's a bedtime story. Tonight will be our ongoing episodically modular series the big farm in the sky PI season, fundamental season. That's a mouthful. And then will just be a nice bedtime story. Tonight it'd be really nice one. I think then we have some thank you at the end. They're structurally what to expect. This is a podcast you don't really need to listen to or make sense of. If you don't want to, you can kind of just kick back in bed if you're new, see how it goes, give it a few tries.
We just past our like 2000th written review on Apple podcasts of people taking their time to write a review, which I really appreciate. A lot of them say, hey, it took me two or three tries to get used to the show. And by the way, if you're saying, well, I'm listening to this, and I think the … you can also, if you definitely think the show is a one star show, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. I got some resources for you if you definitely … but give it a few tries see how it goes. I'm just here to help. There's also no pressure to fall asleep. The reason that podcast is an hour and there's 300 episodes ready to go is so that if you need them, I'm here. I'm here to keep you company.
I'm here at the episodes all the way to the end so that if you can't fall asleep, then I'm here to keep your company. Like I know there is listeners out there and I care about you. In all honesty, I do. I care about you, if you fall asleep in one minute. I care about you if you fall asleep in 18 minutes. I care if you're waking up in the middle of the nights and you're listening for 20 minutes to say, it's good to keep me company while I fall back asleep here. If you're on the other side of the world, I care. Ian, I don't know what was a main example I said, if you could write me one. I don't know if I care for your opinion about everything like that thing, but that's what I say go to sleep with [inaudible 00:10:48] thank you. But sleepwithmepodcast.com, but I do care.
Sorry. Sometimes I have to break up the intimacy with a subtle humor, but yeah, if you can't sleep, however you use the show. Yeah, I believe you do deserve a good night's sleep. And oh, I'm here to the very end because I know how it feels when you can't fall asleep too. And I mean, I don't know. That's why I make the shows to make bedtime less of a rigor and more like a roll. Or when you say my roll like if you go to a renaissance festival and they have cinnamon rolls or any kind of roll and you say … or you're selling rolls and you want to say instead of more rolls, you say marolls. My lady, my lord, marolls. You'd be surprised at how much crossover there is between a being a salesperson at a renaissance festival and making asleep podcasts.
This isn't the only time this has come up. Like Malays like that's another one. You can use it at renaissance fairs. You can say, well, you can say, let's take the malays out of malaise. Take it, bring it to a Renaissance Festival. Find the queen and her, whatever they're called, the party. And you say Malays my Queen, malaise. And the same thing. If you're selling rolls or you say to your friends, say, “Hey, I'm going to get something to you. You want marolls?” I don't know if there's any restaurants like sit down restaurants with rolls on your table, but if you're part of the wait staff, you could say, “Let me see, any refills here? Any marolls, my lords, my ladies.” Okay [inaudible 00:12:42] got to the point, which is usually these intros, they reach a point or it's a nub, but I'm here to help. That's the main thing I wanted to get across.
Just give the podcast a few tries and see how it goes. I'm here to help. I'm very glad you're here and give me this chance to kind of earn your trust. And again, it doesn't have to be like all or nothing thing you say, well, I'm not so sure about this podcast thing. Next time you listen you might say, no idea what that podcast was. Then sometimes between those two listens and the next time you listen you go to a renaissance fair and you start giggling, then you say, hmm, why was that giggling at the Renaissance Fair saying malaise and marolls.
And also if you were like, you could do like a … I don't know. I was trying to figure a way to say like we get the [inaudible 00:13:40] in there without like saying wigidy whack. So where was I? Again, off topic. I rolled without rigor. I've been rolled. I've been rick roll. Don't Rick Roll anybody had a renaissance festival either. Well, I guess you could if you were … well, here's the thing, how about Rick? Anybody? Can we do a GoFundMe to get Rick and Ashley at a renaissance festival dressed up with a mandolin or something and just Rick rope … is anyone on ultra Welsey's that actually listens to this podcast or sometimes Max from cards listens. So somebody send Max this message or Alex at Cards too.
What if, I mean I realized, they say, hello Scoots, 2004 called and they said, well, that's about my style. Like looks different because they would say … I just think it'd be cool and if we could get Rick or Mr Astley … oh okay, sorry. I gotta wrap this intro up though Mister Astley. If your people … well maybe … I don't have like, yeah, if we could work that out, it'd be excellent. It would be [inaudible 00:15:03] never wanted to give it up. You might find a whole new life in renaissance fairs.
Anyway, sorry. I'm glad you're here. I'm really excited to put you sleep tonight, to keep you company, to take your mind off of stuff. I appreciate you coming by. I work very hard on the show and I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep. And here's a few of the ways we're able to keep the show going.
All right everybody, welcome to our latest episode of our episodically modular series, big farm in the sky PI season two, the phantom minnow season. And this is the a series featuring three main characters, Dk and G, two twins, and Simon the uncle. Now DK and G currently living in Florida in the towns, which is like the largest a retirement community in the United States that I'm aware of. And they're twins, so they're working. They live with the DK's aunt Penny and they're running their own business there, a PI business. Also cleaning out your garage. Those were some original things they did.
It's a working sabbatical from her school in they're also in constant … well, not constant contact, but pretty good contact with G's uncle. Thank you. Thank you brain. Simon. So DK and G live in Florida in a retirement community on planet earth, current day. And Simon used to live on planet earth current day. Now, Simon has transitioned from an earthly life to a big farm in the sky life, which is one of the main … one of a variety of places after you say, well, sometimes after your earthly existence, and you get transferred, they say. Well that's the thing, they never say, “Hey, next week you're get …” But so next [inaudible 00:17:16] sleepy stuff.
So Simon was transferred from living an earthly life to living a big farm in the sky of life. Ian in season one [inaudible 00:17:24] I got this new life, what am I going to do with it? A new realm. I've always wanted to be a PI and help people solve mysteries. Just like my heroes, big brain, big Nate, usually like Copia Brown, fancy Nancy, the Stilton, Thea [inaudible 00:17:47] apologize Thea that I haven't been giving you the credit you deserve. Also, I get your gift for me. So thank you Thea Stilton, and all the other great kid mystery solvers. I was more on Simon's level, even though Simon was grown up.
But you saw season one, Simon with the help of G and DK solve mysteries in the big farm in the sky. Now on season two for the most part, Simon's helping G and DK solve mysteries in the town's retirement community as part of their working sabbatical or what do you call that? Self-driven education model. Now you might say, hold on, Scoots, so Simon is a four. How is Simon … I'm gonna yeah. When you make a post transitioned, the only one I have information of currently for this season is the big farm. I don't know about the all the other ones other than like the great gravy realm, which is where I'm hoping to go. An entire existence of Dutch gravy, the great gravy realm. It was a myth somewhere in the northern expanse.
Anyways, so Simon went to the big farm in the sky, decided to be a PI. Oh, G and DK helped. I said that. But so when you do make that transition for most people, then you say, okay, this is my new life, starting over. Maybe you have some sort of view screen where you could check in on earth, maybe not. I don't know about that. But every couple billion people, one out of every billion or so, maybe probably even less, But I don't know, I don't have the math on me. If they can interact with people currently like … you know what I mean? Like Casper or think Scooby Doo and the mystery machine team would … whatever they're called. The Scrappers. I don't think that's what they're called. Oh, Mystery ink. Is that what it is?
But they would … like you're a spiritual being, that what it is a roundabout way of saying it. The reason spiritual beings are so rare, to some say, I don't even know if there are spiritual beings visiting us. It's because they're super rare. Like at least from the big farm. Simon, maybe there's been one or two other people we've encountered that can fully go into the earthly realm and interacts. I think there's a lot of back set up, but it's important.
Simon can come here, Simon can appear to G and DK. Simon could say, “Hey, let me move that glass of water the other side of the table.” Or whatever it is. And also that just answers any questions you say where's … and yeah, good thing, it's warm, it takes so long to put you to sleep. But don't worry if you can't sleep because we got a story coming up. We also have our great Hollywood … what is this called? Intro. What do you prefer? Introducer? He's chuckling. Can I call you the charismatic chuckler? Okay. This is Mr. Antonio Banderas, who is my friend. So [inaudible 00:21:21] so kind.
This is the ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, east time, prepare for the charismatic chuckler to introduce it to you. It's time to crack that case, it's time for big farm in the Sky PI. Wow, that was amazing, yeah. Maybe we could do a project together, the charismatic … like do you have any production deals anywhere that we could use to charismatic chuckler? My friend, I'm speechless. What about are you doing any more Picasso or anything? Like that can Be your sidekick like a fictional sidekick that never … they say, well, this is my sidekick, the charismatic chuckler. My friend, I don't think it's … there's something in either the vowel sounds of the syllables that just doesn't make it suited for television. Charismatic Chuckler. I can see your point, might be more suited for a sleep podcast. But thanks.
So just go upstairs, don't move around and I'll be up. Probably shouldn't be drinking water anymore because they noticed there's something with your wrist, they can hear on the mic when you're drinking water and also when you use … like if you could just sit up there again and not move around at all. Or I'll tell you what, as a transition into the episode maybe just go outside like go for a walk and come back in like an hour and 25 minutes. Okay, great. That's Mr. Antonio Banderas everybody. This is big farm in the Sky PI.
Hey Diana, it's me and I have a bit of update, Simon here. And it all started with some encouragement Diana. It was recently that G and DK said, “Uncle Simon have a seat or have a float above a stair chair, yeah, we need to talk to you.” And I said, “Oh boy, what's going on?” And they said, “Well, have you been working on your comic? Your story for the Phantom Minnow, at all?” And I said, “Well, I've been thinking about it occasionally.” And they said, “We'd like to help you.” Like, we'd like to help me get started, get moving forward. And I said, “Well, it's not that's the problem. It's just kind of floating around. I don't know.”
And they said, “Well, we think you've gotten a lot of good ideas. We really like.” And I said, “Okay, well, what do you need, the two of you?” So you're trying to be nice to me. And they laughed. They said, “No, no, we're not trying to be nice. We believe in you and your idea, we think you should keep working on it, and we wanted to … like maybe you could bring some of your work materials back here. We could look at them with you or we could just work in parallel while we're working on business plans or reading mysteries and working out what mysteries are actually possible to be solved and what aren't and working.”
Then he said, “Are you going to get like your … you're only middle school, are you going to end up getting like your PhDs and fictional solvable, like a series of solving mysteries versus unsolvable mysteries in entertainments?” And they told me to stop changing the subject. He said, “Why don't you go back home. You get some of your materials you've been working on and we know you have some stuff, you even some doodling or noodling.” And so I headed back.
There's one other thing is with this transition, I said, well, there's like a lot of ways to transfer. And I said to myself, Simon, what I would like to do is like … I think we'd watched one of the James Bond movies and I said, “I'd like to use a shoot, like parachute and descend that back when I go back to my house.” Also, Diane, I don't know what your work schedule is, if you've been listening to these reports, but also time is strange and the big farm or a different than earth and I'd been spending a lot of time on earth. And so it's different. I didn't have to do anything. I just said, okay, I'm parachuting in and I had this great view of the area [inaudible 00:26:00] from a very high viewpoint and just kind of like zooming in on a map slowly. And I saw the ocean, I saw the islands that I didn't … like I said, well, I'd have to visit those islands. And then the mountains and eventually the coastal area. And I started to head towards where I lived just naturally.
And I noticed something. It was almost like a drawing around my house at this distance, Diane. I was lucky enough to want to live at a beach front property so I guess that naturally happens with the big farm or something. But I noticed something. Now I don't know what the word is for this, but a 20 sided, almost a circle around my house, Diane. But like not a perfect circle because it had 20 sides. It was giant. I said almost like a map, like someone had drawn it around there, but I said, “Did somebody you like put tape outside of my house?” And it was a big. So my house was just a speck in the middle, but I knew it was there.
Then I opened my shoot and as I got closer, I realized that it was a building, like a circular building, a gigantic building, Diane. Like I guess like a complex. Like a giant circular or nearly circular, 20 sided circular like building. And I started floating down and I saw my house was directly in the center of this. So this building, they didn't move my house. They built this building around it. And I mean around it in the grand sense, so that 40% of the building was suspended over the water. So it's like they built this giant almost doughnut shaped like building right around my house. And I was really feeling very displeased. My house was sitting there right in the center of the beach front.
And then grass Park like area around my houses just how I liked it. And then I started to notice people pointing at me, Diane, which at first, I thought it was for my shoot, which had the phantom minnow on it as I imagined it. Well, actually from like where I originally got the idea from the antique box said that I'd seen it say Phantom Minnow. But more and more people were pointing and gathering in this park, but then I realized that I also, because I'd seen so many in TV and movies and stuff, Diane, like when people are like shooting like slowly, they usually have these trails of colored smoke behind them. So I actually had a trail of rainbow [inaudible 00:28:51] smoke trailing behind me, which looked really cool when I looked up over my shoulder.
And then I started to slowly circle like a bird on a thermal, like lowering. More and more people are gathering, pointing. And like you're shrugging and holding their hand over to their mouth in amazement. And I said, well, it's not … I said, it's cool, rainbow smoke, phantom minnow parachutes. And I said, well, maybe they think it's part of a show. There'll be a little disappointed when … and then I slowly touched down and I just waved because they said they wanted to get into my house. I didn't say anything. That's kind of important, Diane. And I landed on the side of my house and I saw that my house there was a new … it was a hedge that was like a fence, a hedge that was serving the purposes. I was on the outside of this hedge that wasn't there before surrounding the backs in the side of the house.
And so I walked along the hedge and I found at the front of my house was a gate and a ticket booth, Diane. And everyone was still gathering around me as they stood in front of my house. And this was awkward cause it's like it's at the silent founder museum. And then as you see here stands the original home if the silent founder and everyone's pointing at me. And then another thing I noticed, Diane, that was like stuck out to me that caught my attention was that everyone was dressed in a way like they were going to work. Like they weren't in regular wearing around town close, but not quite business casual but like something you would wear. You know what I mean? There's just a different [inaudible 00:30:48] collectively. I said, well, that's weird, everybody's … usually in the big farm especially they say, dress it, express it.
That's what I used to say when I'd wake up. And if you say, well, my expression is being comfortable today, say all right. Dress it, express it, Diane. And everyone's chatting or talking to one another. And they were saying … at first, I hadn't read the sign, so I thought they were saying violin flounder or [Xylan 00:31:25] founder, Matt Foreman. I said, what are they talking about? And then I read the signs that say … and then I was looking and someone's in the ticket booth looking at me and I have to walk past the ticket booth just to go in and I see people like walking around in my house. And I guess I overcame it and I just walked inside. I just pretended. I just nodded my head as I walked by the ticket booths and it's on my home and had been changed into … it was kept pretty much the way I left it.
But I don't know, it was more shiny, there was more pictures in frames. Mostly of the cases that I had worked on and the pictures of me like working at Comic point stuff, which I said, I don't remember those pictures being taken. It was mostly me like looking at a paper and scrunching my forehead. So I was kind of totally speechless and also I kind of had that … I still was thrilled from the trip in and also the … so I was like just speechless and dismayed and also I still had a lot of adrenaline from coming in and having the smoke trailing behind me. It's what I put it together, the silent founder. And I said that must be me, so we should keep silent. So I said play along Simon. You sort of kind waved at people and smiled and they waved back and giggled. And I shrugged my shoulders.
And then through the crowd into the … I guess it would it be, say the forecourt of where the museum, which once was my home. It came a person and they were dressed in something between more formal than business casual, but not business formal, like professionally. They were dressed in a professional way. And they said, “Thank goodness you're here. We've been waiting. We've been hoping. Can you come with me right away?” And they kind of seem like intent on business, but a greater business. And I gave a look of … I mean, I was thinking, I don't think I can just sit down at my house anymore because there's people here. And so I went along and followed this person.
And they were telling me that they were concerned and they've been keeping vigil for myself and like the other founder. And they said, we're really in need of leadership, we're really, really. And then they kind of looked back and they saw my face. And they said, “Oh, you haven't seen the new campus at all, huh?” Because you mean back when I like … it's putting a few things together. I said, well, when I went to the office, when I worked in [Karmic 00:34:35] building or whatever, now the office is all [inaudible 00:34:38] and they said, “We'll give you a quick tour of campus.” And Diane, I could just say if I ever had to get a job again, I don't know where I'd work because even though this was very inconvenient, my home being made into a museum … this was a big farm and we are … I think when you go to a big farm, you're more resilient and you're able to roll with things.
But I said, but this workplace, this campus, this 20 sided campus, it was amazing. It had scooters, moving walkways, floating walkways. There was even like a … like on the first floor, you could swim in the building like right down one side you, there was a jogging path, there was even like a swing, if you wanted to swing on ropes. And I got this tour, and I've heard these companies but I had never worked for one. These companies with all these perks. I mean, this was on Earth that I'd heard about this, but there was like a restaurant, like a section into neighborhoods and then there'll be work areas. Now, most everybody was milling about because it was a big to do that I was there.
So there'd be like a working zone, then a eating zone, then a recreation zone. So there was like a bowling alley, movie theater, chilling areas, nap pods, Diane. I said, “Can I get to one of these nap pods? I'd like to try a nap pod out.” And like Aubrey, indoor and outdoor plants. There were like animals for you to pet. Like everything. There was massage areas to get massages, spas, wellness centers. But most of it was kind of empty. I said, “What's that room there?” And they said, “Well, that's the steaming yoga room.” And I said, “Wow.” Everything you could imagine, Diane. Just kind of workplace. But everywhere we went, maybe there was some people standing around, but no one was really … or arcade.
But no one's really doing much. Everybody seemed to distracted by my presence and I don't know what it was. There was just something in the air, Diane, more than this mysterious silent founder, who I seemed to be, had returned. And then as if reading my mind, this person said, “Yes, you could see how it is, whish is almost all of us.” And then we went to this place. We went to some lower levels and they said, let me show you the one place that still holding on. And we went into this room, Diane. And the room was empty. The room was empty, but it looked like when they show mission control where you cross the centuries. Any kind of mission control type of room. Like in Dino movies, they had one. The last one, at least.
And when people go to space or there's monitoring going on, you have big monitors, maps, blinking lights, noises, and workstations and everything. And this is what this room was like. Now, every once in a while someone would come in and pick up a piece of paper and leave. And I said, “What is this?” And they said it's a customer care. And they said, “What's customer care?” And they said, “Well, it's a combination of IT, customer support and kind of like inbound customer service requests.” They call it customer care. And I said, “What is all this activity?” And they said, “Well, those are incoming support tickets.” [inaudible 00:38:59] like information. It's all information about customer care.
And I said, “Well, where is everybody?” And then I hear some cheering and because this was on a low level, they had their own sections. I guess customer care was sectioned off. And we went into a room, and it seemed like they may have been separated from the rest of the company, obviously [inaudible 00:39:19] explaining because when we went into a room that was like a combination area, but it was a very big, very nice. And I'm not knocking it, it was just all in one. So there was like different areas, themed areas to eat and there was recreation. And it was so bustling in there. And people were playing [skeeball 00:39:53] that's what the cheering was. And everybody just seemed to be having a good time. And then when I came in it kind of got quiet, but not quiet in the same way, like quiet of like who's … like, we're still having fun, but who's this?
And then it was explained this is Simon, then it worked its way for through the room. But it still seemed impacted these customer care employees in the same way. And the person I was with, they were very impacted by all of this. And they had their eyes started to water. Initially, Diane, I was very confused, I'll be honest with you because I didn't like … and then we stepped it … like they stepped out of the room, so I felt like I needed to step out of the room, so I waved. And they were drying their eyes and experiencing their feelings and they said this, I'm sorry, like you're such a contrast. That's what we all used to have is the company and now it's just now we've like a … and they explained how the original founder who hired me, and Diane it's been … I don't know, I can't stop thinking about that person, except when I realized I wasn't getting my work done. I was hanging out with G and DK.
And they said, this is a glum contrast to what we have now as a company. And all our focus is lost. It was lost with the founder and life drained out of the company. And I said, “Well, I don't know anything about this company. I just worked.” This was what I was thinking myself how to become a founder and also as like do they know they're in the big … they said they know they're in the big farm in the sky. I said maybe they got … maybe there's things I don't know. And I said, “Well that's probably correct.” And then this person said, “Well, let's go back to your office.”
And we went up to an office that was like a pretty easy to access. They also had portals, which they didn't tell you earlier, Diane. So if you wanted to get somewhere quick, you could go through one of these portals. And I thought to myself because I was still being silent, that I would like some of the … like what are those? Like vacuum tube. I'd like to go by vacuum tube next time. And also got to the area around my office. There were some more … just people like … just seemed like, I don't know, expecting something from me like to relieve them of their glumness. And it showed off. Like I tried to make a universal, like without speaking sign, that I needed some alone time. And it ended up, they actually moved my office from my home here with all my stuff. So that was nice. Whoever did that to respect my things.
And actually at the office was actually remade. So actually the interior of my house too, that wasn't a museum. So that was very comforting. So I found myself back where I kind of felt comfortable in my own safe place, Diane. And I said, I got to get a hold G and DK [inaudible 00:43:21] cause I have no idea what's freaking going on here. And they seems like … so I got ahold of them. I just do called them like I used to from big farm and they said, “Tell us everything.” And I said, “I think all of these …” I said, “I'm pretty sure this other founder is up to something, one. And two, that all these people are working and they don't even need to be here.
So unless there's some sort of the … unless karmic points are real and they're all getting paid and Karmic points. I said, we've got to shut … maybe we should just shut this place down. And G and DK said, “No, no, no. This is our case. “And I said, “Well, what part is our case? So like finding out who this founder is and what they're up to or whatever.” And they said, “No, no, no, no, no. Figuring out what you're supposed to do, who's the silent founder?” And I said, “Well, when I was walking some of the halls, there was a lot of pictures of me, a lot of mythology about the founding of the company.” And they said, “Okay, okay.” And they said, “What else do know?” And they said, “Well, we're in a giant campus. I would say there's room for thousands of employees here it looks like we …” And they said, “Okay, big company.” And they said, “Okay.”
And they said, “The employees, everybody seems unhappy.” Might be the wrong word, but let's just say that for now. And they said, “All the employees are unhappy.” The same level of unhappiness? And I said, “Well, there's some people that work in customer care. Those ones are happy.” And they said, “Okay, that's important Simon. Good, good, good.” And they said, “What's customer care?” And I said, “Well, when you have an issue like getting logged in or something.” They said, “The top won't go back on that thing.” And I think that's customer care, or you say, hey, how do you like a charge this battery? They say, that's customer care. We had problems and complaints, I think.
And they said, “Okay, okay. And they're happy?” And I said, “Well, they seemed to be having fun when I saw them.” And they said they're the only … did you see any? And I said, “No one else at all. Everybody else ranged from glum to serious.” I mean, I think maybe what if we just cracked the case and we just give everyone a job in customer support. No, you're right. So what's an exit interview? Okay, well, what if we could get former … I don't know if anybody doesn't work here. I could find that out. But I can't actually, I'm supposed to be the silent founder. So what if, here's an idea, G and DK, What if you think if we announced a restructuring or you two are consultants?
I know this we've never done this before really, but what if I use the … Like here's one of the things I learned about the phantom Minnow as I've been playing around is I figured out, it's confusing, but I know I can carry you to …. you'll physically still be in the earthly realm and you won't be able to do anything on your own here, but I could project you into this big farm realm and you could kind of see like as long as I'm there and you could appear. Now you'll appear in a kind of a more interesting way like you'll be giant, like 3D projections. So what if I project the two of you, I call company-wide meeting. I project the two of you and maybe we do exit interviews and maybe can we do interview like interview employees. It'll be like, we're skyping into consultants like spiritual Skype.
Okay, that's good. Diane, I'll be right back while we get displaying going. Hey, Diane it to me, I'm back, I don't go for long. So here's some new stand, most of the people here liked working here and they still do. We've put calls out to former employees, we haven't got that done yet. So we know that G and D … I'm also recounting this for G and DK cause they're formulating something. Also, I still have no idea what this company is or what it does, Diane. It involves karmic points. So everyone's involved in Karmic points in different departments. And no one can even explain to G or DK, who are actually good at asking questions. No one understands what it really is.
They say, “What's a karmic?” It's the universal unit of exchange in the post earthly realm. [inaudible 00:48:31] “Okay, so what is your job exactly involve in Karmic points?” Like G and DK practiced on me. And I said I think I was in charge of assessing value or I can't remember because my mind glazed over when after they said … So that was kind of how it was like, some people would have just phrase it in different ways. So everyone is involved in these karmic credits or karmic points. No one can explain it. And no one really knew what their job … like they only had a vague sense of what their job was. Just like me, Diane. I said, this really validated me in some sense in everyone loved being here as a part of the team except that's why we're trying to find the people that don't work here anymore.
But here's my thing, Diane, like I feel a little bit guilty saying this because I left work. I don't think anybody is doing … not only do they not know what they're doing. I don't think anyone was doing getting very much work done when they were working. And it just leads me to wonder about this other founder, Dan. I just thinking, but G and DK were whispering to one another and they said, “We have a plan.”Sorry, I'm just letting Diane know. So you have a plan. Okay. Well I don't think … my problem is that the big farm in [inaudible 00:50:00] is not a tech startups. So I don't know if I want to be … I think we should just dissolve the company. No, we've got to get to the bottom of it. Wait a second, I gave you an idea, a new idea. What do you mean? We will tech startup. That's what I said. What do tech startups do? I don't know, like technological things. Oh, what is one method they use? Oh, AB testing. Yes.
Wait, so we're going to do AB testing? Oh, we're going to do ABC and maybe D testing. So we're going to make an announced, oh, that's the restructuring. Okay. This sounds interesting. Now Diane, I hope you're hearing all this. Okay. So we're going to go like a great and amazing restructuring. Okay. So oh, they're already making a speech company-wide. So we're going to give out assignments to different parts in new divisions of the company and some established divisions as a part of our visioneering and research. And these will be temporary experimental assignments, so no one has to feel pressured to stay. Okay.
So I don't know what G and DK, okay. So some employees to or going to get to full benefits of employment without having to do any work. So they could come to work, they can hang out, you're going to keep all of their perks and pay. Wow, G and DK are generous, holy cow. And they're just going to come and enjoy themselves every day. Okay. People seem … they're wondering about this. Everybody is always wondering. Okay, some of them are going to return to work at karmic credits. Oh, this is the part I had to do with. Yeah, like to actually figure out what the heck it is. Those are my words, Diane, not theirs.
So they're going to break Karmic credits into much smaller, more focused tasks. Everybody looks confused still about to Karmic Credit but they said G and DK are kind of explaining that part of the restructuring is just going to be me taking that into the smallest discrete parts and working on those. So that's a part of the corporate group or whatever. And another group is …well, this is only C though. Another group's going to be moving to customer care. They're going to be expanding customer care.
Okay, Dan, let me take it. I'll be right back. What will we see like … okay, Diane, I'm back, that was a microsecond for me. So we went to work, Diane, and I had a good feeling about this focus group. I said we're going to figure out what the Karmic credits are, we're going to figure out what this … indirectly we'll figure out who this founder is and what they were doing. We'll also figure out if karmic points are real or not like if we keep breaking it down, and get a better understanding of what the mythology around this is and why. And how I got roped into it. That's one thing. I don't know. But G and DK said don't worry about it.
I monitored that group for a while, Diane. Like I would be in the room and everybody was working and G and DK kind of helped to give out the assignments and then some of the other management staff, they kind of grasped it and they said, okay, like what ideas of Karma. What are like concrete version? Is that ever a proven theory?
It was a few weeks, we tried to ramp it up slowly, but oh boy did all of my … Oh, every I thought like all my expectations were wrong because I thought these two we'll be working with the purpose and now they have a mission, we kept talking about the mission as we were slowly … we had meetings with I statements, so everybody felt involved. We talked about it, shared what our shared goals, every agenda for everyday. We said, well, what are our wins? Like we tried to celebrate those wins. But no, no one seemed to like it, Diane. I mean basically, people were asking to be transferred even with … like even after all of the time or just sitting at their desks.
I mean, people would get the work done, but again, I don't know [inaudible 00:54:55] like just no one was enjoying. I know there's a myth that you're supposed to be happy at work, but this wasn't even middle of the road happy. And then the second group, Diane, was the same thing. Like the people that came to work and didn't have to work, they were like … it was like a mirror image or something, like a real mirror image where you say, well this looks the same, it's just a little bit different. Because we ramped up to employee programming to when it was at its peak. So there was constantly seminars, like everything was in use, bowling league.
We brought in like different [inaudible 00:55:40] take a cooking class. Learn how to do speech writing. Relay races. Everything you could dream of for a workplace where you're not doing any work. None of it was mandatory, so you could just chill, play video games, you could sleep, go to the movies, and it was all joyless staying. No one liked it one bit. So there was that. Then we have customer care. And that one even with more employees, everybody was happy there.
It was just this vibrant energy there at all times. All the employees who would get along, they would all be do … they were constantly doing fun things. If they are taking … they expanded into the main building a little bit. They said in the past, the customer care employees ere just under a little bit different duress. So that's why they were separated. And this is just baffling that … and they said, well maybe it's that they're doing a service job, that's customer care. Or Maybe that's … I talked to G and DK about this. And then that forms a tighter bond among the employees, and they had specific tasks. But I hadn't been observing them, so then G and DK said, “Go work there and observe for a few weeks.”
And here's the thing I found out, Diana, they're not doing any work there either. And I watched and then I started doing my own interviews where I was trying to be indirect in basically they would do pre-work where they would come in and check the support tickets, but no work ever got done. And so I started … I worked very hard at doing these interviews where I wasn't saying, you're not doing it like where I was trying to set aside my preconceived notions. And when I said, well, tell me more about these support tickets? I notice you check them in the morning and then you don't … like no tickets have ever actually been like in the solution pile. It's just euro tickets.
And they explained a couple of things to me that I did not know, Diane, one, we don't have any customers, and two, we don't have any products or services. So we have no products, no services and no customers, but thousands and thousands of support tickets come in everyday. And I was really curious about this. I said, “Well, tell me more.” Each person and it violated. One of the engineers said, “Well, we call it the CCC-UR.” It's the Collective Customer Care Universal Residue. And they said, “Even though we don't have a product, some people still have a problem using our product or service, or some people object to it, some people are unsatisfied.” And I said, “But it doesn't exist?”
And he said also people are unhappy even though we're not doing any customer service, people are unhappy with our customer service, even though we don't have a public facing company, they're unhappy with our public image, they want to return defective items. And I said, who is … is this some sort of mystical occurrence? Like what is in … and I said, “Who's doing this?” And they said, “It's human beings.” They said even in the post earthly life, there's still human beings.
So I said, People are putting in support tickets for things they never used? And they say, “I got to go back, there's another birthday party at 11:07.” So I said, “Go ahead. I got it now.” I still didn't understand it, Diane. And then we had one more round of interview. So G and DK had finally roundup the D group or the D testing, which were people that used to work here that no longer did. And they were so hard to track down because they had totally moved on. So anyone that was no longer an employee had moved on to something else. And these people, Diane, they were happy. As happy as the customer care people or about the same, not 100% happy.
And some of them had been doing independent things or hobbyist to things with their time. Some had joined other communities or community based activities or explorer. They're just doing things in the big farm and kind of me, like I became a PI. But they were involved in something and I guess that's when the case just tracked for me, Diane. It's like this place … so those people found their thing, and this thing maybe it's for the people that haven't yet, or maybe this is their thing. Diane, I got to go check with G and GK, I'll be right back.
All right, Diane, here to ramp up. This case is closed almost, or more or less is closed. So we restructured the company with that in mind because G … Well, G and DK told me this story that I'll try to give you< Diane, really quick. They said, "Did we ever tell you about the best tacos we've ever had?" And they said no. And they said well ... and this is how we ended up here running our own business and inspired by you, uncle Simon. They said one day we were allowed to go to this seminar outside of school and the seminar ended at 12:50 even though school ends at 2:20.
And our teacher said, “When the seminar ends, you just go home. Your school day's over.” And in 12:50, we happened to be in this neighborhood in east Los Angeles. This is where the seminar was. And we went to go get tacos for a late lunch and they said they were the greatest tacos we'd ever tasted. And they said, well, where's the … I'd like to hear more about it. And they said, “Well, the tacos were good, but it was more the taste of the taco at 12:50.” And I said, “I don't get it.” And they said, “We were eating Tacos when we should have been in school, but we weren't breaking any rules. We were allowed to be eating those tacos. But part of us knew we'd be tasting chalk or whatever a digital board tastes like sitting in our desks.”
And I said, “Okay, I think I get it.” Sorry, probably was a better story if I wasn't as confused. But they said the greatest time … I said, “Oh, okay.” So he said the company's kind of liked that. I guess if you're at work not working, it's like heaven. But you have to have work to do. And so we split the company into three parts, Diane. We expanded customer care to one third of the company, assuming that the those CCC-URS, which keep coming in. And I said, what if we open it like have this power? And so we've actually opened up a little bit of the CCC-UR to earthly realm, and hopefully it makes things better on earth.
Like we're off gassing some of the collective customer care, universal residue or when care say it changes into [inaudible 01:03:43] you know, that stuff. We're off gassing that and outsourcing it to here. Where the tickets aren't getting, they just sit in. So it's Great Diane. I mean we don't have any products to … we don't have customers to care for. We would if we could. So we have that. We have a division the Karmic, still working on Karmic points just in case it is a thing that none of us understand at all.
And we all understand the general concept of Karma. And I don't know if this other founder was more enlightened than I'm thinking and that this was just like a red herring or something, but I don't know, Diane. And then the third party company, especially with my interviews with the people that had left that we've created a phantom minnow creative. And basically this is great, Diane, and it actually fits me perfectly. It's a creative division of the company where you're supposed to introduce you … if you procrastinate on creative things, you can finally enjoy things now because you're supposed to do your creative things but you're not expected to. And we don't even know how that will turn out.
I mean, right now it's going great, so most of the people are enjoying it. They do actually work on the products projects a little bit. Even I have done some doodling, imagining, the phantom minnow, like maybe just the rescuing earthly realm from customer care, universal residue. But talking to, maybe Carl Young and I will go and look into it. That's one of the cartoons I drew. But yes, some of the other employees are working on that and some are just not work on it, but enjoying not working on it. And that's, I think what this whole company's about. Just enjoying being at work and not working.
I guess that's why it's not … this is a big farm in the sky, Diane, clearly, but I think some of these people in Phantom minnow creative are going to be transitioning out of the company and that'll be a good thing too. And I think we'll all find our …. well, I'm going back to Florida with two G and DK and I'm going to come visit and check on things, but I think the management team will be just fine without me. Yeah. Anyway, Diane, good night. I got to go get … I'm going to get some rest and I'll see you soon.