754 – Court Pickle Dance | Big Farm in the Sky P.I. S2E5

Episode Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary and all my patron peeps, it's time for Sleep With Me. The podcast … You keep going, patrons. The podcast that puts you to sleep. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do with a bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, the changes in time or temperature, changes in schedule, baffling thing. You always say, “Scooch, what's … ” One of those baffling ones where I say, “I don't know what it is.” Whatever it is, I'm here to help.

What I'm going to do, it's been a few weeks since I said this. I'm going to welcome you into this safe place. I'm going to smooth it, I'm going to pat it and I'm going to rub it down. Then I'm going to poof it. Then I'm going to stand back after it's reached peak poofing, it settles. That's always the best. You poof it, you pat it, you mark it with a D for dear Scooter, then I let it settle, just you and me. While it settles, I'll be here also trying to … What's the word where I try to earn your trust when you do that in a professional setting? It's a word that's really hard for me, it's dyslexic to spell. I don't know. I can't think of it. It's like the professional side of camaraderie where you say, “Hey, how you doing?” Let's build some … rapport. That's it. Thank you.

If you're new, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to send my voice across the deep, dark night. I'm going to use the lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. Also if you're a regular listener, I'm going to do the same thing. Pointless meanders, superfluous tangents like metaphors that you say, “Are you sure that's a metaphor or is that a freudian … ” I'm the first person … Here's a question really. Are all freudian slips metaphors? I never even thought of that till just now and I can feel Doctor Freud somewhere nodding knowingly and say, “What? No, no. This isn't about that.” Okay.

There's a question to get back to but first, new listeners, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, a podcast that's here while you fall asleep. I say it's a podcast to put you to sleep. Ideally it will but it'll also be here to keep you company and as you fall asleep, structurally what to expect, there's a lot of things about the podcast that can throw you off so I want to give you an idea what to expect, a lot of nonsense, a lot of creaky dulcet tones. When I say nonsense, I think I mean it's nonsensical like the fun kind of nonsense like when you're walking around the kitchen banging on a pot with a wooden spoon, you know, the calm lulling version of that in a diaper or, as I like to call it, the weekend. I can't get my own image of myself out of there. Then I'll play with some Transformers and some Legos and cars. I like to play with all my toys together. Then I'll go back to doing something else but right now I'm trying to …

Oh, I was explaining what kind of nonsense to expect. I think there you go. Oh, I guess it's nonsensical and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense if you're new. Structurally it starts off with business. That's how we keep the show going and free. I think we're in our sixth year of making this show. 2013, yeah, something like that. That's how we do that. Then there's an intro which we're more than a few minutes into. The intro's a part of the show and I'm not humble bragging here to say it's a pretty beloved part of the show for regular listeners. For new listeners, it can throw you off. It's like a 13 or 14-minute attempted, and I mean that in bold, [italices 00:04:38] and underlined. You can even strike through it and highlight it because it's an attempt where I say, “Here's what the podcast is and does,” but it really is hard for me to explain. Just like it's hard for you …

If you ever ask a kid walking around the kitchen, even if you're just in your pajamas banging on a pot and wearing a pot as a cap, “How come that's so fun?” Or, “How come you only do this once every 36 months?” There's some kids that do it every day, some adults, too. You'd say, “I don't know. It just feels good. It feels good,” and maybe that's a new therapy we could come up with and it's a free therapy. You can practice any time you want. You could go around, probably when you're on your own or if you're in a relationship or a family situation, do it as a companionship or a group activity. Let's bring that back. Banging pots, it's not for toddlers anymore. If I could run a national ad campaign, maybe that's what I'd say. Banging pots musically, not banging them around like, “I told you I was wild about wild rice,” like that kind of pot banging.

I think I lost myself there so … Oh, structurally. The intro is a long drawn out but friendly, somewhat beginning of the podcast. Some listeners skip it. Maybe 2 or 3% of listeners, they skip ahead to the story about 18 minutes in. A lot of listeners use it as part of their wind down routine where they're getting ready for bed, where they're getting settled in for bed, right? They've done the poofing and now they're doing the settling portion. They're landing the old dream plane or taking off the dream plane and settling into auto cloudy mode where you rest on a sleep cloud or what was the other thing? Oh, or some listeners fall asleep during the intro. It's the intro. Then there'll be a story. Tonight will be our episodically modular series, Big Farm in the Sky PI, season two, though you could miss season one and not miss anything. These some business between the intro and the story portion. Then at the end of the show there's some thank yous. That's structurally what to expect.

The other things you need to know if you're new, you don't need to listen to me. You could listen to me at any level you wish or … We've gone through this before, I'm the kind of person totally comfortable with you just … You say, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay. Uh-huh. Go ahead, Scooch, you were talking about landing your runway dreams. Uh-huh, oh yeah.” You do that if you want or bang on a pot. That's the kind of thing I would fall asleep saying or if you go to tuck a kid in and you say, “Good night, sweet poo,” even though they're already asleep, you tuck them in one last time and they say, “Uh-huh,” banging the pot. Maybe you could do that, “Uh-huh, oh wow. Banging a pot, huh?”

“Yeah, uh-huh. Banging a pot and there's a gummy bear there. Yeah, an apron [inaudible 00:08:29].”

“Okay, great. That's terrific. So proud of you.”

“Uh-huh, it's a jelly spoon, not a [inaudible 00:08:39], a jelly spoon.”

“Oh, you took a spoon [inaudible 00:08:44].”

“The gummy bear, his name's Frenchie.”

“Okay.” You say, “Okay, great, but actually Scooch is in the middle of explaining the podcast to the new people.”

Okay, so I'm back. I already forgot the other stuff I was going to talk about in the beginning. I think it had to do with a hip hop song from my childhood. Where was I? Okay, so that's the structure. You don't need to listen to me, that was the thing, and there's no pressure to fall asleep. The reason our shows are just over an hour, most of them, is so you have plenty of room to fall asleep. You can queue up 299 other episodes after this if you need them because there's no pressure to fall asleep. I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here till the end. I make this show just as much to put you to sleep as I do to keep you company and be a voice of companionship to those that are going to sleep, can't fall asleep, whatever the situation is. I'm here to help.

I'm here to be your bore bae and my favorite bae is Paul Bay, of course, of the big loop and the tapes that you heard about in the Pacific Northwest, the city and tapes. I think they've been referred to by me only. Yeah. I'm here to be your bore bae, your bore kush, your bore [siv 00:10:10], your bore bestie and help you fall asleep. I think that's it. I was talking about something, though, at the beginning of the show. I know I was talking about poofing and puffing, then I thought …

Oh, then banging pots and pans. I just said pots, though. I totally skipped out on pans. If you were going to do it as a family activity or I guess you could do it as a romantic activity or when we're really talking about romance, you could do it as a pre or post romantic activity. If you got two adults or a teen, holy moly, and only one person's banging a pot around, usually it's just some sort of loving, testing activity but I think that could be a new thing. You say, “Well, it's time … ” What's that song? Everybody bang pots and it was a song. I think it originally was Wang Chung but then they changed it to bang pots tonight and have fun tonight. That was the main thing. Also wear an apron while you do it, maybe, or a Halloween costume. Yeah.

Io thought I interviewed someone in the middle of that, too. Oh, that kid that was asleep, that I had to put to sleep earlier within me. Let's just check in with him. Let me ask him, I don't know if you're still asleep. Have you heard the Sleep With Me podcast?

“That's the one with the cricket, [crickerooter 00:11:58].”

Yeah, that's the one. It's the podcast, it's got a super long intro. Do you sleep during the intro, do you skip it, do you listen to it or do you listen it today for comfort? He's like, “Construction paper and the tissue paper is inside of it.”

Oh. Yep. What's your favorite thing about Sleep With Me podcast in general or are you even a Sleep With Me podcast listener?

“It's a pencil sharpener and … “

Oh, wait. What were you laughing about? The part where I said, “Are you a Sleep With Me listener?” Oh, because you knew you were.

“It was Cardi B and then it was … Lynn in the balloons.”

Okay, great. That was great talking to you. I'm glad you're asleep because it's a podcast to actually put people to sleep and they do it as a bedtime story. I don't know. Did you get a bedtime story?

“[inaudible 00:13:12].”

Am I running this segment into the ground?

“Take a pillow and you push, push, push, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh [inaudible 00:13:25]. Then you put your head and it settles … “

Okay, terrific. Thanks for coming on. I don't know if that's ever happened before. I think I've talked to cats before and I know there was one episode where I put myself to sleep but that was some sort of … They say if you have a super collider, get in touch with me because I was just over there in one of the other string dimensions talking to that kid. Here's the thing. The podcast is goofy. It's a little bit different.

Oh, there's a new thing I did want to mention. This might not be the first time you're hearing this but this is the first time we're recording it. If you don't like the podcast … Almost every person that's reviewed it said, “Give it two or three tries,” so if I could ask you, if you're going to try to fall asleep, give it two or three tries but if you have or you're just having a gut reaction where you say, “I don't know,” I still want to help you sleep so I have a new link. SleepWithMePodcast.com/NoThankYou. You could go there and I'll have some resources there because I always say, “Email me,” but that's kind of a lot of work. SleepWithMePodcast.com/NoThankYou and you could check that out and then I'll have some other options for you to fall asleep or stuff I've tried and yeah. I appreciate you coming back and giving the show a shot.

If you're a regular listener, thanks for coming back. Good to see you. How bout that kid? Sometimes I hope that's what you're listening like, like hanging in the kitchen, banging a silent pot with a gummy bear. That's what I really wish for you and then during the day you could be flourishing. I truly do believe you do deserve a good night's sleep. I'm honored to be of service and to help if I can because that's the kind of life I want for you, one where you're rested, you're doing well, where you can actually say to yourself, “We're doing the best we can here. Good job,” and you're treating yourself and others and you're treated with dignity and respect. Dream a little dream. That's why I work hard on this show. I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep. Thank you again for coming by.

Here's a couple ways we keep the show going. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of our episodically modular series, Big Farm in the Sky PI, Tales of the Phantom Minnow. Also it could be Tales of the Townes. It won't be the talk of the town because most people will be snoozing but this is a series about three individuals or starring three individuals, Simon, DK and Gee, G-double-E and capital D capital K. Simon, Gee and DK are friends. Also Simon and Gee are related. Simon is Gee's uncle. Simon was formerly a resident of Earth just like you and me and made the transition to post-Earthly life at the Big Farm in the Sky and that was season ..

Then Gee is Simon's niece. She's still living a Earthly existence. DK is her best friend. They're of a school-going age. They're school kids and in season one they helped Simon solve mysteries in the big farm, hence Big Farm in the Sky PI and we're talking about mysteries like if Salvador Dali did a season of Encyclopedia Brown or Fancy Nancy or Nancy Drew or Geronimo Stilton or Big Nate … I never read Nancy Drew. I'll put that on my to-do list, or the Hardy Boys. Never read any Hardy Boys. There's a coming clean. I've said hardy-har-har before. That would Big Farm in the Sky PI, season one.

Now season two … Oh, quick question to answer. These setups for the episode, sometimes they take a while. Just want to get you … I'm here to help you sleep so filling you in in a long winded way is kind of part of the show but also I want you to be familiar with what's coming up. No bed time FOMO, like we say. Simon, despite being a former Earth resident and a Big Farm resident, a spiritual being you could say, sometimes people blew mind when they said, “Are we human beings being spiritual or spiritual beings being human,” or whatever.

In this case, Simon is definitely a former organic human in the Big Farm but it's a rare thing … This one you might not know. For a Big Farm resident to be able to come visit us humans, much like that friendly being Casper, Simon's like that. That's like a one in a million or something. I don't know the numbers but let's just say it's a one in a million thing where it gets just like our life. You want wonderful diversity no matter what level of existence you're at, I think for me at least. That's one thing is that not everybody can just come to Earth, show up.

Can you imagine? This is another thing I always ponder. I always talk about this in the podcast, too. If we could see the electromagnetic spectrum, would we be able to see very far or not? Greater minds than that have answered that question and I've probably read their answers and forgotten it so that's the kind of thing. That's probably why the Grand Designer or whoever said, “No, no. Only one in a billion can go down there and talk to people again,” so that's why Simon can talk to Gee and DK. They can see Simon. Simon can talk to them.

The positive side of those movies … In season one they were solving mysteries in the Big Farm in the Sky. Season two, they're solving mysteries here on Earth for Gee and DK who took a sabbatical from school, a working, studying sabbatical probably called something else and started their own business where DK's aunt Penny lives in The Townes, one of the largest retirement communities in the world, or active adult community but not everybody have to be active. They'd say, “What if I don't want to be active? I want to be chill.” Maybe I'll patent that. We have a chill adult community. You can be active but it's mostly for chilling here at Chilling Palms or something.

Okay. Basically, the reason we're solving PI stuff here on Earth, there's been other episodes. Most of them are episodic, including that one. I think that's probably it. It might have been … I think that's enough to get you started. Be fun, be relaxing and feel free to skip through it or sleep through it because, oh boy, this one is really … I'm excited to put you to sleep with this one. Also we got a Hollywood celebrity here to set up the episode. I know it's raining. Mister Antonio Banderas, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary. It's time to crack this case. It's time for Big Farm in the Sky PI. Let's crack this case.

Wow, that was good. That was really good, Antonio. Thanks again for coming. Do you want to try to play Tokaido? I got that Tokaido for Christmas. I bought it for Christmas from someone. It's supposed to be really relaxing like a journey. You've already been on a seven or eight-hour journey here and I know you got to go drive back. Also, if you could hold on off on using the restroom for about an hour and 20 minutes till I'm done recording, that would be huge but I didn't hear you go. I appreciate that you didn't go on your way in because then it would've showed up on mic. You know what, here's the thing. I'll pause. We'll adit it out. Go ahead and take care of stuff within relative time. I'll tell you what, pour yourself a glass of ice water, get comfortable and then once you're comfortable don't move. No tapping. No shifting. Try to just go into a meditative state. Okay? Go ahead.

Thank you, my friend. It's good to be here with everybody. I'm looking forward to playing Tokaido.

Okay, thanks. That's Antonio Banderas. Everyone, this is Big Farm in the Sky. Let's crack this case.

Hey, Diane. It's me, Simon. I'm here. We're here at the multipurpose courts which you might already saying … What am I saying? We're here with what's clearly a mystery, Diane. Oh, right. Thanks, DK. Where was I? Oh, okay. Great news. This is part of our process. That's why I'm talking to you is it's going to help Gee and DK and I start to process the case. Okay, where was I? Actually, I lost my spot. Hold on. Let me ask you … Oh, I didn't even start talking to you, Diane. Sorry about that. That was my bad. I started talking to Gee and DK. We have a royally confusing mystery, was what I meant to start with. Here, within The Townes, each town has its own village and each village has its own community center, pool and multipurpose courts. The pool was closed for painting and repair and when the pool closes, this is something they learned over the years. They also close down the multipurpose courts, which are right next to the … Used to be just tennis courts and also the shuffleboard annex, Diane.

Oh, Gee wanted me to ask … What did you want me to ask? Oh, was tennis … Tennis was popular. I didn't ask the residents, though. I don't know … Oh, like royal … I think Gee and DK are just making royal jokes about tennis. Okay. A long time ago, they just had tennis courts. They had the pool and then now they have tennis … The reason they're called multipurpose, okay, because some people play pickle ball, which is now popular. I don't know where the pickle comes from but we're in a pickle with solving this case. It's kind of like a paddle version of tennis. They say ping pong and tennis but I don't buy that because there's no table, one, and I don't think you're bouncing anything.

That's another thing. On these courts that once were only tennis courts, this pickle ball, this tennis … Occasionally in the history there's been basketball half court and that seems to wax and wane. Then there's a new thing, outdoor dancing, also called dancing in the dark, dancing under the lights, dancing by the moonlight, in the moonlight. That's where I get the multipurpose thing from. I think that's what I was trying to say.

Okay, so the pool here has been closed for remodeling, painting. Not remodeling, I don't know what I'm saying, refurbishment, paint, patch, clean and the courts are adjacent to the pools in all of these villages in The Townes and they also close the courts when they close the pool. They don't close it for repair because I guess a long time ago every contractor that works here in The Townes went to the council and they said, “If we're going to work on these pools, we're shutting down the tennis courts because of gawkers,” they said, “And [splainers 00:26:58], experts on pool refurbishment, experts on behavior of construction workers, experts on things you're doing … ” Basically everybody would be at the tennis courts watching them work on the pool. Even when they put up a fence, the people would go so they said, “Listen, we're not going to work on this unless the whole area's closed so don't come here to this community. Use the next town over.” They shift it around.

They tried to be polite. It was just a lot of advice and feedback and suggestions, sometimes people looking to talk to somebody about when they repaired a pool. I call them supervision hobbyists, Diane. I thought of that one. The compromise was we'll just close down the whole thing, go easier, go faster because they said everybody was trying to get the bids in and they said, “It would be a lot cheaper if we could get this done with the whole area closed off. It'll go faster, save everybody money. One less form of entertainment.” Here's the thing, Diane, I didn't think of. Gee, DK, tell me what you think of this. What about doing it as a show, like the gawker show, like watch us repair something show? Probably wouldn't fly. What if it was some sort of performance art? Okay. Okay.

Get to the mystery part, right. You are right, you two. Holy cow. That's why we crack the cases. Okay. I got to unpack the start of the mystery, Diane, which started 18 months ago on the last pool refurbishment. Also, Diane, this doesn't have anything to do with the pool. The pool was painted, cleaned up, whatever they needed to do just fine, sealing, refreshing, touching it up but when they reopened the tennis courts at the same time, oh boy. There was now … I think it goes back … What's 18 and 18? 36. Originally the first time … This one they said … The stripes on the tennis courts, they used to be white. Then they were white with a touch of blue-gray but I think they determined that that was actually a …

You forget that time goes by. Then a mystery happens, then everything's shrouded in mystery. Okay. This time, when the court reopened I think it had people's attention also because it had transitioned … The popularity of pickle ball is recent and the popularity of pickle ball, actually people started using the courts more that also liked to dance outside at night. They also said, “Oh, these courts are great, just like a dance floor.” I'll talk about the dancing more but now there was stripes, not just white, blue-gray stripes for tennis which was already a thing that people didn't know. It ended up that was planned. Now they were yellow pickle ball stripes for the pickle ball courts and that caused a big riff with the tennis players so this was almost two years ago.

There was also some areas, some squares in the outer bounds of the tennis court related to dancing, which I still didn't understand but also some of those things … Oh, I guess, yeah. That makes sense, then. You're right. A square that you would … It was actually a rectangle. Sorry, Diane. Then you know those Arthur Murray … I don't know why I imagine it was Arthur Murray but the feet that you put on that have the numbers for practicing your moves in the box but they had removable … The box was there but not the feet because I guess you say, “I'm going to learn the tango today.”. those were also there along with the pickle ball yellow lines. This was …

What else are my notes here, Diane? This is helping Gee and DK really absorb what's happening. We don't know what the pickle ball but the pickle ball's a bit like paddle ball. The ball kind of has a splat to it, Diane. It's not wet or anything but it means that it's a little bit less running. It looks so fun. That's why we were calling it splat ball. Gee and DK, they just laugh when they hear pickle ball. They find it so funny. It doesn't sound like something you'd say to a baby, though. Would you like to play some pickle ball? Okay. Oh, this is long. Okay. What was the important part of my points? Okay.

At some point during the last refurbishment … This was not planned, these stripes, by anybody. Someone added, in a professional way, and paid for it, the lines for pickle ball and the dancing rectangles on the tennis courts and the tennis players felt territorial even though the tennis community's been shrinking and the pickle ball and dancing communities have been growing. The tennis players were very upset. Then the pickle ball players were upset because they said, “Why not just make a pickle ball court?” Administration was upset because they said, “We didn't approve this thing.”

No one really went over it and the tennis players had been trying to get rid of the pickle ball players and everybody was trying to get rid of the dancers because the dancers always leave scuffs. Sometimes they don't come up even though they say … They originally whatever dance shoes they wanted but they said, “Oh no. You got to wear these whatever shoes that don't scuff,” but every once in a while someone shows up to dance in scuffy shoes so that was also always a bone of contention. Everybody trying to get rid of the dancers and then also the dancers saying, “Can we take down the tennis nets, the pickle ball nets so we could dance the full court?”

Then, again, a lot based on impression and not fact, Diane. I think that's what I'm saying but no one was happy with these new lines. This is what I hear. This was not when we were here working. Everyone was not happy at the HO … I don't know how. This is a private, for-profit place but even they said, “We didn't do it.” We're like, “We got paperwork to prove it,” so not official thing. What did you say, DK? Yeah, stirred a lot of melodrama. What else? Yeah. They tried the figure out who did it. Everyone was pointing fingers. The dancers were really the ones that took the brunt of it but then they said, “Why would we put up pickle ball if we just want to dance?” There was enough crossover … I'm just trying to think. I talked to a lot of the dancers because they said, “That sounds really nice.”

Also the dancers had upgraded the lighting. This was official. His was no mystery with their market lighting in addition to the tennis lighting so that on the nights had the courts versus tennis or pickle ball, they could turn off the main lights when they got there and it would be a little bit more romantic or [ambiancic 00:35:22]. The pickle ball players had tried playing with just the market lights but then they said, “We don't want no one stubbing their toe.” What else? Ball room in the dark, ballet in the moonlight, tapping under the stars, Diane, without tap shoes, though, because they said those scrape the courts. Night air birds, evening jitterbugs, midnight at 9:00pm tango. These are some of the groups that come and dance here.

Basically someone put stripes on the court. No one was happy. Then everybody to used to and it and they forgot about it, right? Also they've had to learn to work together with the scheduling so everybody gets access to the court. Meanwhile, the shuffleboard annex, they said, “Why don't we just close down the shuffleboard annex?” Everybody said, “What are we going to do when our grandkids visit? The grandkids are the ones that like to play the shuffleboard.” All that is going on here which sets the stage for what will become the mystery we're trying to solve here. I'm just trying to think ahead. I have a lot more notes about scuffing shoes and debating over it. A lot of debating. I said, “Why don't you have a court-based debate club,” and then no one got that joke at one of our meetings but I only said it to my … No one got it. Gee and DK didn't get it. Oh, they said they got it, just that they laughed on the inside. Okay.

Then this next refurbishment, even though people were still kind of talking, they forgot about it. They went back to the dancing, to the pickle ball and to the tennis and then … Okay. The pool was just closed. We're here at the cracking of this new case. It's just a few days old. It's hot stuff. The pool was closed for refurbishment. It was just reopened and of course people had forgotten. No one that we know of … Everyone says, “Oh, I knew this would happen,” now but no one was really watching. You say to yourself, you might put one and one together and you say, “They repainted the court again.” No, Diane.

They upgraded it and I'm not even sure. Gee and DK and I are trying to figure out how to describe this. The courts were upgraded to unbelievable level with interchangeable surfaces, Diane. There's a dance court. There's a tennis court and then there's a pickle ball court and they roll up on these things with a crank with gears so that it's distributed so it's easy like a bike gear. What are those called? Interchangeable gears or something, I don't know, hammer and a lever. They have a hardwood style dance floor. It just rolls out, drops right in place. Two people could do it. It's assisted by the machinery. You roll it back up. It's composite surface. Somehow, because it's all interlinked, when it drops into a little sunken square, everything is flush and it has a little cushion underneath that it drops int. I think that's what keeps it flush.

You wouldn't believe it, Diane. It's just so nice and then you do that, you put down the tennis courts. Then you do it again and the pickle ball court is, instead of being green, it's a blue tone. I don't understand why they needed two … Pickle ball has different lines. You're right. You're right, Gee. I can't believe they could just roll it out. I've been watching and I'm saying, “What a solution here.” This is a win-win solution because everyone gets their own surface. You don't got to worry about the dancers scuffing it up. For the dancers, they now have something that kind of looks like a dance floor instead of dancing on the courts. It's hard to describe. You're right, DK. You're right. It's so simple but really high quality. This is probably what people … I don't know if anyone else … It's a very good solution. No such thing as a perfect solution, you're right.

This is where we got … That's why the hubbub. There's no such thing as a perfect solution so there is a lot of residents up in arms about this solution. They've found fault with it. They don't know, more of a impressionistic fault, a projection type fault, Diane. No one's happy about this. It seems pretty great, in my opinion, but that's not the mystery. Once again, the mystery is who's behind these floors, these courts, the interchangeable courts? The most straightforward solution that we thought was the corporation that runs The Townes and just like last time they said, “We have nothing to do with this.” They said something, “Each village is its own entity with its decision making process and funds allocated,” whatever, I don't know.

What's really interesting is when we moved on from there, the county within … There's some sort of public, private thing. I don't understand that but they still need some zoning permits. All the zoning permits were filed for these courts so all of the permits were in place. We tried to place that. The shell within a shell. Then of course, and not just Gee and DK and not me. I did not think of this, Diane, but some of the other residents along with Gee and DK said, “Okay, it's either the contractor or the company that makes these courts or floors,” and people were really … This was a couple days ago. They said, “This is some sort of attempt at viral marketing like they have a vested interest and us having a free court and talking about it. By getting these free courts, advantages are being taken on us because they're going to profit every other village in the town is going to want their own multi-court. You're going to make multi millions because you gave us a free court,” and no one wants that wool pulled over their eyes.

We got ahold of them really quick because Gee and DK, that was the first … they said the most obvious solution, like who stands to gain the most. We contacted them and they just laughed. They said, “We've been working with this community for a long time. Of course we wouldn't do that. What are you thinking? We have way too much to lose, not to gain in a vested way. Our vested interest is in following the rules, not breaking them.” We could've told you that that was going to happen and they said, “Everything was filed on our side by the book,” and we said, “Okay.” They said, “Yeah, no, no. It's paid for in full by this holding corp, same one that did the permits. We wouldn't to it for free in that manner. Great idea but try it somewhere else, not in this community. It won't work.” They said, “It's like a STUNT.”

Okay. We thought about that. We said, “Okay, oh no. Back to it.” Now here's the other thing. Everyone wants these courts torn down. Another part of the zoning process, because of the way … This was a rule made with the communities in mind. We just passed the period where building and demolition is allowed because now it's the beginning of the season when people start to live here. Those past two months, the only time you're allowed to refurbish pools, put in new courts or close down and tear down, do construction for the peace of the residents so you can't tear the court down or close it. You could close it down but they can't remove the things for another 10 months. The people are even more unhappy about that because they said, “We're stuck with this great … ” I'm laughing, Diane. Only from the perspective of the Big Farm could you laugh at this, I guess, so Gee and DK do find it funny, too.

In summary, Diane, there's a new court or set of courts. No one is happy about it and it's a mystery who did it and why. Gee and DK aren't here right now. I was going to ask them if I did a good summary. The most obvious suspects were Multi Court Incorporated and Dillinger Contracting LLC. Neither of them did it or at least it doesn't seem like they did. The next likely group to benefit the most from the courts, Gee and DK. Okay. They're coming back. I was just trying to figure out who was next on the list. Oh, you just interviewed them. Oh, wow. I was recapping. Yeah, to take a little … This part of the mystery is what happened. This is a mystery even Encyclopedia Brown would shrug at. They say Fancy Nancy doesn't do mysteries but I would think she would like this as a pretty fancy solution.

okay, so you talked to the heads of all of the groups, the pickle ball, the greater dance community association and the tennis brigade or whatever. Oh, lots of palace intrigue. You two, you got good puns. Holy cow. Okay but nothing seems … You can't put your finger on it because, yeah, everyone would know better, that it would stir up trouble. You're right so who would do it? Not the dancers. Also it costs a lot of money. I guess we have to look for clues, right? Okay. We got to look around for clues or witnesses. Oh. Gee, you're always on it. Where should we start? If we walk around here, Diane, we're walking around the courts now. Okay. What about that house that's up on that hill there? Oh yeah. It's the only house that's really close to the courts. You're right. Oh, so we should go ask them if they've seen anything. That's a great idea, or heard anything. Okay. Let's go do … Diane, we'll be right back.

Okay, Diane. It's me. I'm talking and I'm hopefully talking in a different voice but I don't think I am. We're a little bit closer. Exciting news that I'll tell you. We're on our first outing of stakes, to be honest, Diane, about to start. Great news. We went to the house. No one was home. We knocked on the door. We debated walking around the year and we did cut up kind of through a dry drainage basin from the courts. I didn't. Gee and DK did but after they were knocking on the door, someone was walking the dog. They said, “Oh, Wyatt lives there and Wyatt has a store in town.” Then they said, “In town town, not the town. Like the regular town where the regular people … The community surrounding the town.”

This is confusing to explain, Diane, but the town nearby. A lot of people work here. This is a big provider of jobs, okay? The people, a regular, normal, non-retirement community. That's what I'm saying. Wyatt has a store there and I said, “Doesn't that make you not a retiree?” They said, “No, it's a active adult community.” I said, “Okay, I get it. I get it.” Then we went to Wyatt's shop and now Wyatt ends up, Gee and DK and Wyatt know one another so really working in our favor here.

Hold cow, Diane. I got to tell you about this Wyatt's shop. It's like a place, really brilliant and Gee and DK have sold things or negotiated things that they've cleaned out of people's houses to Wyatt, who takes things like a hip … This place is cool. There was cool people in there. It was busy and a lot of people that work there are young and they take things and they sell it at the shop. They also sell it on the internet like Ebay and things but Wyatt not only has an eye for books and magazines and other things in particular but Wyatt refurbishes them to get them nice and ready for sale.

Wyatt was explaining a book, we don't get too many new books but something very good versus good is easier to sell. You sell it for more money and then we kind of talked about, “Shouldn't you be in … ” Wyatt said, “I love being here. I like being at the store.” Also Wyatt is not too long ago, a few years, like W-I-D … so Wyatt is investing in work but a Big Farm resident like am is piper so that's interesting. Wyatt said, “I like to work. It gives me a lot of jobs to offer these young people. I buy things off of people like Gee and DK or the people that I'm representing so I could put a little money in other people's pockets. It's kind of fun.”

Then we said, “You know about this trouble with the court.” Wyatt said, “You better believe it. I can hear when people get not happy with one another. I can hear at my house. That's why I stay at the shop more or less. I work late until I know everything's wrapped up so then I go home and get some peace and quiet. We said, “Did you enjoy the refurbishment?” Wyatt said, “Oh yeah. Piper and I, we used to sit down in the back of the house so you could go there and you could figure out whatever we're trying to do. During the day we would sit there, then during the night. Now I still go back and sit out there so I might be back there, later though. I haven't seen anything, though, because I know DK. If he gets his … cover this.” That was the first question. Have you seen anything or heard anything? Wyatt said, “No, no. I'm sitting out there like 11 to one reading, drinking tea, relaxing after a day of work running the shop.”

We're here doing a stakeout. Wyatt said we could stay out here and look. What's that, Gee? Oh, Piper. Okay. Let me see. Diane, let me put you on hold. I'm going to try to get ahold of Piper. I'll be right back to see if I could track down Wyatt and Piper.

Okay. That was … The reason I didn't record it is because it was private conversation. I wanted to check with Piper. I talked to Piper and Piper kind of confirmed what Wyatt said. They would sit together. They would enjoy the evening. They have so many memories tied up in this house and so that's why Wyatt stays here. I guess nothing to help our case. I don't know. Gee and DK have something they're whispering about but if they're not whispering on mic I can't do anything about it. Oh, okay. Thanks, Gee. Thanks. They used to go dancing. They were even in, before the outdoor dancing, they were dancing around the patio.

Piper's very proud that that's how they supplement … Wyatt used to sell things at the flea market and would work magazines and stuff. Piper said Wyatt would put them under the mattress in the extra room and put weights on the mattress. That's Wyatt's secret method for … What did I? Why did I say that? No, no. That's what Piper said. I guess it was a secret. That's why I shouldn't be saying it on the microphone. Yeah. I guess Diane won't tell any.

That's a way, I guess Piper said, that you take a mattress … This is a secret but I guess it's good if you're refurbishing your own magazines and books. Then you put a piece of plywood on top of the … First you put the magazines and the books under the mattress. Then you take the mattress. Then you take plywood. That's where everybody misses out, according to Wyatt telling this to Piper. Then you put weights on the … Now if you want to get a just pretty good to read, you could just leave it. Wyatt would put those big round weights, of course he'd get at a garage sale, too, and any other weights would do, even clothes and stuff. The most effective stuff is the round heavy weights. What are those called? Plates, weight plates.

I guess now we're just sitting here. I'm just sitting here. It was good to talk to Piper. Very nice, seemed like a lovely couple and, again, like Piper said, “Wow, that store sounds great. I wish I could go with you.” I said, “It's very peaceful … or very cool.” I don't know why I said that. It's peaceful here because the court's just quieted down. Before that, there was still people … Here's the thing. We could hear the court wrapping up. When they rolled it back up, that was pretty quiet but we could definitely hear lots of [hubbubbing 00:55:50] and harrumphing but now it's quiet. The courts are closed down now. 10:00pm, that's quiet time here. Yeah.

I guess I'm feeling like I don't know something because, Gee and DK, I can see on your faces that … How long are we going to be at this? Oh, the stakeout's already over. I was hoping we'd need it like in the movies where we have a thermos of coffee, though you two shouldn't have coffee, and then snack foods so probably best … Why is the stakeout over, though?

Phantom Minnow cracked the case? Oh, really? Oh yeah, I was just waiting to tell you. Wait a second. I cracked the case of how to keep the magazines nice. Oh, we're just going to wait. Oh, here comes … Yeah, I think that's probably Wyatt's car that just … Oh, there's Wyatt now. Hello, Wyatt. Oh, okay. Oh, I forgot Wyatt can't see me. Thanks, Gee. Thanks. Okay. Diane, let me run through what's happening here. Okay. Wyatt's, Gee and DK just said, “We figured it out. We put everything together.” It's nice and peaceful out here. That's first how they got Wyatt, his guard down. Okay, so Wyatt's about to do a monologue, Diane. I'll just go for it.

Holy cow. Sorry, Diane. I was reacting. Yeah. I did it. I replaced the courts. You definitely figured it out. You're welcome to tell everyone or not. I understand that I did something that was a win-win-win without people's permission. I knew that it was something nice but I did have ulterior motives. You're right, Gee. You're right, DK, and I'm sorry for that. Oh, you don't know. Okay. I'm happy to tell you everything. There's just one piece missing. Oh, the cost. Okay. I'll explain it to you.

Basically I figured once people got used to these new courts they could enjoy them. When they're enjoying the courts after they've got used to the change, people would start to be … There'd still be some noise. Ping ponging and splat ball and the dancing, people were kind of arguing over whether the ball was in or out. That doesn't bother me but when everybody's debating or when it's a switchover, like sometimes I'll be home and they'll switch over from dance. Eight o'clock, it becomes pickle ball hour or dance hour or tennis hour, I just couldn't take a lot of that type of talk and I did it years ago.

I was the one who did the lines so that the people for pickle ball, because I don't know if you knew this. They were using chalk for lines and then the tennis people weren't happy about that. Then no one's ever been happy with the scuffing from the dancing and you think about the poor … I could sleep through a tap dance, just lie here in the night listening to tap dancing but it's not as fun to tap dance in clear-soled shoes. What would that Paul Simon … If you had diamonds on the soles of your shoes, you wouldn't be able to dance here so I found out, I did the lines before so everybody would be happy and it kind of worked. Then I was researching and I found out about this multi-court system.

I also had to figure out how to pay for it. He said, “Now this is where you call … ” You say, “Wyatt, you were doing something without permission,” but I see synchronicity because I have got so many magazines and books that I can't keep them all refurbished. I just don't have the capacity and I said, “Well … ” I looked. I went to a trade show in Las Vegas. I saw how they have the cushion and then the court sits on top of the cushion. The cushion sinks, makes it easier for people's bodies but it also helps keep the court locked in place and I put some magazines and some books down there. I only do it at night, not when people are playing but at night I go down there and I pull up the lowest court, put down the books and then I pull them back out again after a few hours because I don't want it to be off level for anyone and that's how I paid for the courts.

The courts pay for themselves. I financed it of course but the revenue from more refurbished books and magazines will easily pay for the cost of the court. Anything else, it's not that I need to keep it so I'm going to fold it back into the workers here. May be able to provide free childcare at the store so really another win, I guess. Also I'll get to sit out here, once everything quiets down and people won't be disagreeing about … Everybody will have what they want. Oh, I know. I know it's a bit codependent, a little bit, but if you two can think about telling or not telling … I'm fine with either way, I will accept and then people will have to … Because even if you tell them I did it, I may have to move out and I wouldn't be happy about that because this house means a lot to me. I've got a lot of positive memories here but if I do, I can accept it.

They would have to wait 10 months to get rid of it. In 10 months they're going to keep the courts, I'm sure of that, but then the payments are longer than 10 months so I have things charted out to keep it going without me using … You know what I mean? That's fine. I can accept things. I would just ask you to kind of sit here with me tonight on a stakeout. I brought some cocoa and this isn't a cocoa bribe. It's just a chance for you two to enjoy the evening now that the courts are closed. Also I put a remote in so I can turn on those market lights. Through the trees down there it looks really nice. Maybe the two of you want to go down there and dance or something just for fun but, again, we'll just decide as we decide.

Oh, hey, Diane. I'm kind of again … I'm going to rest here. I think I'm going to just sit next to Wyatt while Gee and DK dance. Oh, wow. They just ran down there and they're kind of dancing with one another giggling and having fun. I think this case has been cracked and then I can imagine Gee and DK letting everyone win. Yeah. They're spinning in the moonlight and I think I'm spinning off to dreamland, Diane. Goodnight.