1473 – Prague Professional Bedtime Storytellers | Bored Game Unboxing

Episode 1473 – Prague Professional Bedtime Storytellers | Bored Game Unboxing

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time to play a game, to unbox a game, to open some cards, look at a board, and to be a little bit bored, 'cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep indirectly, I guess, by hanging out with you, keeping you company, and taking your mind off of stuff, by being your friend in the deep, dark night and hopefully bringing you a little bit of sleepy joy and delight. I’m here and I’m so happy to be here. If you're new, welcome. If you're coming back, you come back to the show whenever you're having a tough time with sleep or you're a regular listener, I’m glad you're all here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep or at least bring you some relief. So, if you're new, this show is a bit different. It’s a little bit more silly. I guess I’m just not in a super silly…the silliness is just not started. I usually have to…once I start talking…but I do take making this podcast pretty seriously 'cause I’ve been there.

 

But…oh, but the show is very different, so give it a few tries if you're new. I’ll tell you what’s coming up and everything, but the show does take some getting used to. That’s just what listeners have said over the past thirteen years we’ve been making the show. Yeah, what we got coming up is support so that paying for the show is optional. That way it benefits the maximum amount of people it can, because of the ads and the listeners that support it, then separate from the support is an intro, and the intro is meant to ease you into bedtime, not so much to put you to sleep. Then later on there will be a bedtime story. Tonight we’ll be looking at a card board game I got, and opening it up, looking at the cards and the art, and then wondering, huh, how do you play this game? So, I’m glad you're here. Yeah, and welcome. I don't know what else to say. If this podcast changes your life on a nightly basis, if you could pay attention and consider supporting one of these sponsors or supporting the show directly…'cause if the podcast changes your life on a nightly basis, then we can be here for you and all the other listeners that only listen to the show occasionally when they need it and all the new listeners. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed…alls you need to do is get in bed…get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play, eventually. You don't even need to do that right now, 'cause I couldn't even remember what it was. I’m gonna do the rest or attempt to do the rest, which is to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that are on your mind, thoughts that are just coming up, it could be feelings, anything coming up emotionally related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, it could be changes…or it could be physical sensations that are related to any of the stuff or physical sensations that are there, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, getting over something, in the middle of something.

 

Whatever it is, I’m glad you're here and I’m here to take your mind off of that stuff so you could fall asleep, which is a little bit different than putting you to sleep directly. If you're new, you might be wondering, hey, why do you run through all the stuff that might be keeping me awake? Well, let me tell you; because…that was a interesting one. But my…I was stumped by my own question, which is…or stumped at…I don't know. My brain is stumped, period. Why do I run through the things that may be keeping you awake? The reason is so you get a sense you're not…you don't have to do this alone, that you're not all alone in those feelings that are probably not positive. Most people do not get brought…they don't…you don't discover this podcast on a lark, which is a tangent I could go on. By the way, if you're on a lark, please get off, even if it’s a toy lark. Please only be on toy larks, 'cause I think the lark’s a bird, right? So, let’s all double-check right now none of us are on larks.

 

I think that’s probably…I think that’s something we could all agree upon, right? Even toy larks, unless it’s one of those…what are those things called? The pillow that looks like…a Pillow Pet. We lost…we misplaced a Pillow Pet years ago. We didn't misplace it; it was a cow Pillow Pet. So, it was a white-and-black cow. Pillow Pet is a plush that’s flat like a pillow. So, it was…my daughter left it in a hotel bed and then they changed the sheets, and Pillow Pet went on a journey. We’ve done a couple episodes about it. But if you have a Pillow Pet that’s a lark, which I don't think would be…that’s be pretty niche. You say, that’s…oh yeah, that’s the rare…that’s almost like…not a Furby. What were those other things that were worth a bunch of money back in the nineties? What were those things called? They were like…they were bean bags. TJs or something, they were called? They had a heart. Pillow…nope, not Pillow Pets. Puffy Friends?

 

I literally was just talking about this on the podcast two weeks ago, 'cause my former mother-in-law had the Princess Di one, which is I think…was really cute. It was not…anyway, holy moly. So, if you have a lark Pillow Pet, they say, that’s the rarest…it was actually never…it was only made in the imagination of a sleep podcaster. That’s probably the only toy lark you want to be on. So, just like turtle…no turtle wax on turtles; please only figurative…don't even figuratively…just stick to metaphors. Metaphorically only are we on a lark. Also, what does on a lark mean? I think to me, if I’m…if you want to know what I look like when I’m on a lark metaphorically…but it’s actually kinda capture…on a lark is kind of like je ne sais quoi. I may be misusing both of these. You say…I said, how is…when is this podcast gonna get silly? It just kinda auto-silly’s itself. But this is…honestly, if you want to get to know me a little bit better, if I’m on a lark…if I’m on a lark and you say, what…how high is your lark amplitude?

 

So, we're talking high-lark amplitude. So, I would probably be skipping probably in some sort of natural area, but it could be anywhere, maybe humming or singing to myself. It’d probably be warm, so I’d have maybe shorts and a shirt…ideally I’d have no shoes or shirt on and I’d be…I'd look peaceful but satisfied or something, and I’d have…I'd be doing something kinda like playing like a child, but going from one play area to another. But I don't know if that’s the proper use of on a lark. But that’s what…when I say, oh boy, that’s…most people do not discover the podcast that way. I don't think I’ve…I mean, I have discovered podcasts on a lark, but daytime podcasts…what podcasts did I discover on a lark? Well, I mean, Podcast the Ride just popped in my head. I did…I had heard about that, so then I discovered it through word-of-mouth. But that’s the kinda show that I would say, yeah, that’s a cool show to discover on a lark. So anyway, most people do not get to this podcast on a lark.

 

But if you did, that’s great. I’m sure there are people out here that said, I was in a great mood, discovered this podcast; I was in a even better mood. A lot of people get here because you're having a non-positive experience with sleep over and over and over again. If you're like me, for years, sometimes all the time, sometimes on and off, you tried a ton of different stuff, and it’s hard. That’s why I make this show and why I bring that stuff up, is so that you know you're not alone, that right now in this moment there’s people listening around the world. Some of those people discovered the podcast for the same thing or something very similar to what brought you here, and they are glad you're here, whether you’re new, whether you're coming back when you need it, or you're here all the time. There are other people nearby you and not that far from you and across the world that are rooting for you, that are sending you comfort and kindness because they've been there.

 

They're like, yeah, I know that’s tough. I’m glad you found the show, or I’m glad you listen to Sleep With Me, too. We're kinda in it together. It’s just Scoots…somehow Scoots being on a lark helps us all get some rest and takes our mind off of stuff. Or, at least it works for me, and I hope it works for you. So, that’s why I make the show, because, I don't know, we have this shared thing that’s nice, and we can send out the kindness, you could receive the kindness, or you could do both, and you could go skipping around the yard or not. You could go…you could have your own type of larking. Say, are you more…? I’m into spelarking, not spelunking. What’s spelarking? Well, I just…it’s when I go on…I actively go on a lark. I spelark. Can someone remind me of that? I don't normally…I think that’s probably a good empowerment. Yeah, when I’m feeling down I go on a spelark. I’m sorry, did you sneeze while saying spelunking? No, spelark. It’s a new thing.

 

Yeah, hopefully I’ll remember that or somebody will remind me. So, let’s all go on a spelark together or send our spelarkiness out to one another, because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a bedtime you don't have to dread, a bedtime you could feel neutral about or maybe look forward to, just like going on a spelark does. It feels like it could use one more syllable. A lot of times I like efficient syllable words like spelark. Spealark does not…Spelarky; that’s my new pet. Old Spelarky, he’s always in a good mood, but we never know where he is. Spelarky. Okay, so, trying to introduce a sleep podcast. But I’m glad you're here and I hope I can help you get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, but ideally so you could be out there in the world flourishing, because that’s what our world really needs more of, is you in it, and you enjoying your life a little bit more. So, that’s why I make the show. What I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I invent words or mash up words. Word mash, word salad; that’s what people…I'm always like, huh, I think I understand what that means. I mean, I’m more of a word masher than a word…word salad seems a little bit too structured for me, 'cause everything stays…ideally in a salad, everything stays separate, separate but together. That’s kinda like the listeners of the show. My voice is not traditionally soothing, I go off topic, but all of it’s to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. But when you first get here, you're probably skeptical, you're probably doubtful, maybe you're confused, more than likely you're feeling a little…that there’s something off about the show. Like, I heard about this show or I found it in a search, but this isn't what I expected. I thought…this is supposed to be a sleep podcast?

 

This is normal, by the way. How is this thing supposed to help me? I don't…I'm not sure I like this show at all. That’s the way the majority of people feel about this podcast when they first get here, and I kind of embrace that, 'cause that’s okay. Just give this show a few tries and see how it goes. But you don't need to like me or the show. I just hope it works for you, 'cause when it does work for you, it works like nothing else did. But if it doesn't work for you, like you've tried it two or three times or you're already sure you don't like me or the show, let me tell you; we’ve got a website set up for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It has other sleepy stuff on there and other sleep podcasts so you could still try to find something that’s gonna help you out in the deep, dark night. I still believe even if you strongly dislike me, which is also common, you don't even need to let me know. Believe me, a million plus people have let me know over the past thirteen years, and that’s okay, too.

 

But I want to save you the time and just introduce you to something that helps…'cause you still deserve a good night's sleep even if you have a strong non-positive feeling about me. So, that’s the cool thing about this show; not everybody needs to like me, but I hope this show helps you. So, that’s one thing; it takes a long…it takes a while to get used to, most people don't like the show. What else? This is a podcast that you don't exactly listen to. It’s kinda like background noise or a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow. It’s different. It’s like sand passing through your hands, a out-of-focus picture, a long, boring seminar or a friend that goes on and on about nothing, like clouds in the sky, wind in the trees, something that you're kinda listening to but can't focus on or don't need to focus on, like nice water passing through your toes. So, alls I could tell you is to try it out and then see how it goes, 'cause that also takes…we’ve all done it before.

 

You say, okay, I could listen to this, but I don't need to. So, yeah, if you've tried it before in person with a friend — you say, hey, just tell me about your day. I don't know if I’m gonna pay full attention, though — that works, or listening to a audiobook or something that’s not totally interesting. This podcast kind of accomplishes that but in a friendly way. This is also a sleep podcast that I’ve been making for thirteen years, and I’m not here to put you to sleep. My job is to be here and take your mind off of stuff. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. That’s why the episodes are over an hour. I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company, because there’s people listening who can't sleep at all, who wake up in the middle of the night, need a break during the day, need something dull to listen to while they work, or they just need me there playing as kinda like background noise.

 

I’m here to the very end of the show whether you're awake or asleep, whether you're listening to me or not. So, you could listen to me whenever you need to, but you also don't…you have the option, right? ‘Cause my job’s to be your bore-friend, your bore-sib, your bore-bruh, your bore-cuz, your borer, your boreman, your neighbore, your borebie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your bore-bae, your best bore-friend forever. Like, I don't know, I could do that heart with my fingers thing or heart with my hands and say, best bore-friend forever. But a bore-friend just hangs out with you and keeps you company so that things in the night…you have a little bit of relief and distraction, something that’s kinda nice, a little bit funny, not too funny and not too interesting, but just…you say, okay, that’s not bad. I got my bore-friend. So, those are a couple things you need to know.

 

The last thing I like to run through is the structure of the show and why we structure the show the way we do. Basically it’s to benefit the maximum amount of people this show possibly can, 'cause this show works for the people it works for. Like I said before, it doesn't work for everybody. But the people that the show helps out, they're like, I had no idea something like this could exist. I didn't know I was gonna be looking for this my whole life, but I finally found it. That’s not everybody. But if it’s you, you want the show around and you want the show for people to discover that are in that same spot as you, and that’s really important to me and that’s why we structure the show and try to keep it free and that paying for it optional. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, I might check that out. Then there’s sponsors and calls for support so that paying for the show is optional.

 

Then totally separate from the support after that is a show within a show, the intro. The intro is not designed to put you to sleep. If you happen to fall asleep fast, I would recommend either supporting the show, ideally, or listening to Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, because the intro is the kinda time where all of us wind down together, kinda like a sleepover after the giggling and the pillow fighting or the movie watching or whatever, where we still all have…we're catching our breath and sighing and smiling and hanging out together. But yeah, we're getting ready to fall asleep. So, most listeners are getting ready for bed, they're doing some chill activity, they're winding down, some people are in bed getting comfortable. There’s no wrong way to listen, but as you become a regular listener, you could start testing out; hey, what happens if I start listening in another room and I do doodling or looking out the window or petting pets or something?

 

‘Cause having a routine is one of those things that helps ease us into bedtime and that actually works, is winding down. That’s what the intro is designed to do as well as introduce people what the podcast is, as well as give me a opportunity to go off topic about something new. Every intro follows a familiar structure, but every intro is new because whatever it was that kept me awake, it always needed something fresh, and that’s why everything I paid for, everything else I tried, it never worked because it didn't have that variety, that unpredictability in a good way, reassuring unpredictability, I guess, like reliably consistent yet different every time. That’s why we put so much work into these intros. I guess part of it that’s like I said…I started the show out…I said, I had no idea…I have no idea what’s gonna be silly, but then all of a sudden I’m on a lark. I say, no, no, no, not on a lark, really. I would never be on a lark. Everybody knows that. Particularly larks say, particularly us.

 

I also think I looked up that…I know this has come up before, on a lark, and I gotta wrap up this intro, but I should look it up. Let me see, let’s just do it just so we can quiet…I'm sure there’s people out there that know. But yeah, I think that’s everything as far as the intro goes. I’ll be here a bit over an hour. After this we’ll have some support, then we’ll have our board game unboxing. Yeah, we’ll be here a bit over an hour. On a lark…yeah, it’s doing something for fun spontaneously. Oh yeah, skylarking from ships. I guess I do remember when this came up before, which was like, they were running, jumping, or playing. Or it might be from the word ‘lake’ and ‘frolic’, or it could be related to the bird itself, the skylark; playful. So, a couple possibilities.

 

Oh, there’s also happy as a lark and up with the lark. So, anyway…so anyway, I’m glad you're here. I work really hard — so do a team of people — to bring you this podcast multiple times a week consistently over the past thirteen years. I could not do it without all of them, people that work for the show, that do work or work related to the podcast, and the people that support all that work. So, I’m really glad you're here. We yearn and strive to help you fall asleep. If you are one of those people that benefits from the podcast a lot and you want to support the work that goes into the show, please consider checking out one of these sponsors or supporting the show directly. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here, and this is another board game unboxing. This is also the reverse of sponsored content, I guess. These are games I’ve been getting from someone I support on Patreon, which is called Crabby Fragment Labs, and also known as Inexpensive Bottom Games in the past. The timing of these couldn't be more amazing. So, the game…one of the games I got recently is in the same genre as Checking Into Boredom and the same genre as the game we opened last time, but also seems like the styling’s a little bit different. So, these games come…they're more economical, right? So, what I got in the mail was a deck of cards and then a envelope with a game map but printed more on glossy paper, and then the instructions, and I think the story, which I’ll try to go through the story, maybe, first, then look through the deck of cards, look at the map. Let’s look at the map first and then the deck of cards, maybe, Scoots? Okay, Scoots, thanks for producing me while I record.

 

This is good teamwork. Then we’ll go through the rules and stuff. So, yeah, let’s look at the story first. But also, it’s called two different things, so this deck can be used for a lot more than just one game; another reason why it’s Inexpensive Bottom Games and why I got into it a long time ago, 'cause the games would come not in a box but either in an envelope or a smaller cardboard…the games in the past were printed black-and-white only. Now…or you could print them at home or I guess at work. I never had the ability to do that, but…and so, this…one of the things that it came with was a deck of cards. Look Land, it’s called, for these professional bedtime storytellers who also have other purposes or…I don't think there’s any other porpoises. But this says it’s a deck of cards. It’s called the Island Deck, but it’s full of bedtime storytellers, and it’s a six-suited deck. I don't know what that means, but I’m excited to find out. Its art is by Cheyenne Wright.

 

It’s James Ernest’s bedtime storyteller land deck of cards, reimagined by Scooter. But this game is called Non-Positive Bedtime Storyteller. Infinite stories full of meanders. Obviously this is reimagined by me. I guess the game takes place in Prague in 1966. This cool city is a menagerie of bedtime storytellers, sundries supervisors, clients, people working, brainbots, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. You and your colleagues are intrepid bedtime storytelling…tellers using…but you also serve a greater purpose. Using the mission supplied to you secretly by the sundries supervisor, you'll also be dealing with people, brainbots, and other things that cause sleeplessness out and across Prague. You've got deals to make with all of them. Non-Positive Bedtime Storyteller…so, that’s probably who we're trying to…is a simple brainbot-finding game. So, maybe it should be called Brainbot Finder.

 

Yeah, let’s rename it Brainbot Finder, 'cause brainbots are…the result of brainbots is…oh, brainbots are like the uni-function things within me that keep me awake at night, kind of like automated sentient subroutines of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, and other stuff. So…okay, so, it’s a simple game of finding brainbots with your bedtime storyteller. So, this is a genre of spinoge. You know what I’m saying? Espionage, or that magazine once…or looker versus looker in Mad Magazine, searcher versus searcher, lespa, you know? So, designed to be played with a six-suited deck. In each turn players will issue a command to their bedtime storyteller hoping to score points by either distracting other bedtime storytellers or moving your bedtime storyteller to a hotel to work with a client. So, I guess that’s more about bedtime storytellers, but…the button determines the play order. Be smart, plan ahead, and take advantage of every opportunity in this world of brainbots.

 

Okay, so, the first thing I’m gonna do is look at the map, and I’m trying to see what part of Prague this is, 'cause this is…when my brother lived in Prague, he was studying there. I went to visit him, and I learned some basic Czech, which then I…of course, just like in the sleep…in real life I’m not that different than the sleep podcast. So, I definitely learned dobry den, which essentially means good day or greetings, and that was a polite way when I visited, which was about fifteen years ago or so, twenty years ago. You know, when you go in some place or…a greeting. That I know was somewhat accurate. Then these other ones…there’s Prague Castle, which I called…I think it was Prazsky Hrad, but I would call it Prazsky Hard, 'cause I think that’s the way it was spelled. Then Stare Maestro or Stare Maestro was either the old city or the new city based on my own thing. So, Prague had the old city and the new city, and I’m not sure…I think this might be a combination of the old and the new city.

 

There’s a point called A. Actually, I’ll look it up on my map. Then there’s…there’s no 1. So, there’s letters; A, K, and Q. Then there’s numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and then there’s some buildings which are maybe the houses, an orchid, a porpoise…that’s funny; a porpoise, an anchor, a palm tree, a sailing ship, and a crabby. But, you know, while we're here, why not make the most of this and actually look up Prague on here? Okay, so, I’m gonna zoom in. I see the river. Okay, so, yeah, I think this mostly takes place in…on the…on this map it’s called Old Town. Let’s see what we got here, 'cause just the bridges will help. Let’s see the bridges. We have one, two, three, four, five, six bridges in view. So, one, two, three, four…I don't have that. So, let’s go down, and we have three squares or plazas. So, that’s gonna help us. Okay, so, we have this one. Is that…? What is…? Is that…? I’m having a little trouble here. Okay, but that is in the center of Old Town. Okay, so, that is…what’s the name of this area?

 

Was that that…? Old Town Square. Stare…okay, Stare Omestsky. But Old Town Square. Okay, so we have Old Town Square, then let’s see these other squares. Let’s just…this is like we're touring stuff together. Okay, the next one’s down here. Let’s see if we can find it. It’s down by a bridge, of course. I’m guessing it’s this one, but I’m not seeing anything that makes it clear it’s a square. There’s this little square here. That’s a garden. Have I been to that garden? I don't think so. I’d like to go back to Prague right now. It’d be great. Okay, let me see if I can find number 7 square. Is that near the train station? There’s the national museum. There’s the train station. Is there a big square nearby? Okay, here's another one. This is a big, open area, but I don't know if that’s a square. Okay, so that didn't…that wasn't successful, really, but that’s fine because…so, we know Scoots is not accurate. So, that’s the map.

 

It has streets, it has paths, gray streets and tan streets, and it has a north, south, east, and west map. So, okay, so we got the map. Now let’s open the deck of cards and see what we got here. Now, I’d assume six-suited…the suits are on a regular…most card games I’m familiar with, at least, play a four-suited deck, right? Hearts, clubs, spades, and diamonds. So…oh wait, let’s check this map. One, two, three, four, five, six. So, we have six suits. Okay. So, this is interesting. So, that…how many cards would that be? Let’s just count first. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. So, there’s just no…is there J’s? So, it goes Ace through 7, queen, king, and the first suit is palm trees. So, they're a green suit. The back sides of the cards are kind of like a mid-century modern design, very cool. The person…let’s see. So, these all…let’s take a look through here. What do we think? Okay, so, we don't have tons of face cards, so only kings and queens are…maybe are people that are looking…I guess we’ll learn from the instructions.

 

But the king is a person, like a ultra-modern bedtime storyteller. Like, not my style. Even if they came…let’s just pretend you're in this world of…you're in Prague in the 1960s. This was the height of…this wasn't the gilded age of storytellers, 'cause I still don't understand what that means, but it was one of the great golden ages of bedtime storytellers, grand salons, and then private…you'd hire someone. So, this person would have came to your room, and again, this is…bedtime storytelling is a niche thing. So, they would come, and they're in kind of a one-piece suit with soft boots and then even knee pads built into their pants, so if they did decide to do some sort of bedtime storytelling on their knees or crawling around the rooms, they have things padded on their arms and their forearms and their elbows.

 

They have their ears and their hair…so, if you say, well, I prefer something a little less…not intimate at all, and the person wears red…goggles that are red, kinda…I don't know if they're blue-blocking, but literally seeing the world through a rose-colored lens, which can be useful. It’s definitely a suit of muted tones, comforting muted tones to some people, like aquamarines and greens-type tones. They even have a professional version of a paper towel tube, like after you run out of paper towels, that tube, in case they need to whisper through the paper towel tube for extra effect or something. So, that’s the Palm Tree King, we’ll call him. The Palm Tree Queen, on the other hand, is glamor. So, if you say, give me the Queen of Palm Trees…I guess if you were looking at a menu, if this really was a golden age, they'd say, well, let me tell you about the Queen of Palm Trees, as we call her.

 

She’ll come to your room right out of…right after she just raised a million…it seems…seemingly like she’s raised millions of dollars for charity or just gave us…just danced the night away, like in a glamorous way. It’s not fast dancing…or maybe sang with an orchestra or was at some sort of ball, like a ballgown, but with something over her shoulders, 'cause Prague can be chilly, too. She’s the Queen of Palm Trees, so she’d kinda matching those greenish tones, shiny…I don't know if it’s silk or sateen…and sensible shoes for bedtime storytelling and dancing and moving around. That’s it for…the rest of the palm trees are just numbered. Okay, then we have the orchids. So, the…oh, wait a second, there’s stuff hidden in the background. Wait a second. Okay, we gotta go back. Hidden in the background of the King of Palm Trees is a radio. So, he may be evocative of…that may be his specialty if you're looking at the menu of a old-time radio.

 

Then the Queen of Palm Trees, it seems like a projector. So, older films, like a magic lantern, you know? So, that’s…now, the next…the King of Orchids, in his background is a…one of those old-school gramophones, like a record player with the horn. So, you say, okay, maybe it’s like a vibe thing versus a specifics thing? You say, okay, do you prefer something gramophoney, old…magic lantern, radio, old-time radio? Now, this person comes…this is definitely another genre. The King of Orchids is…and I guess you…it is also maybe a thing of projection, what you project onto the image or the menu. But he has a tuxedo on, but it’s not perfectly fitting. The tuxedo…you say, it’s a little…slightly large, just barely large on him, and the tails are like…those are long tails. If you're not…I don't even know if you're playing the piano on the stage if you should have tails that long. Then he has a orchid flower on his thing, but he’s also wearing what you would say is a Groucho Marx…even though I didn't know this at the time.

 

When I was a kid it was called a disguise, like a secret disguise. I may have told this story on the podcast, but it’s been a long time. So, it was like a set of glasses with a nose and a moustache attached to it, and it would be called a silly disguise or something like that, and you could…you'd see it in comic books, or you could get it at any store selling novelty items, and you could still find it. I had no con…as a child, the Marx Brothers were not on…you had other…you had Laurel and Hardy, Three Stooges, Abbott and Costello, Little Rascals, but there wasn't any repeats of the Marx Brothers or Groucho Marx. So I had no idea…obviously at least in my…in the eighties maybe Groucho Marx was the pinnacle of the Marxes as far as pop culture goes, but it still hadn't…it still wasn't…I mean, no offense to Groucho or Groucho fans; it was just at the time I had no awareness of Groucho Marx other than maybe seeing it occasionally.

 

But then you could buy this disguise, which was…basically made you look like…like a Groucho Marx disguise. Maybe they just didn't have the rights to say that. But I thought this was what…if you're undercover in Prague, you're gonna wear one of these if you're serious about your business, 'cause no one will recognize you. I guess I was also aware, maybe, or one of my parents was aware…multiple years when I was in middle-school age, we would come up with our own costumes. There was times when my mom made our costumes, there was times we got costumes from stores, but this particular time and for a few times forward, I had a lab coat which I would reuse in different forms for this. But I had no…I don't know if someone…it either was like a kismet or a synchronicity or someone in my family recommended it. So, I needed a costume. Whatever, maybe I had procrastinated.

 

So, my solution was to wear these Groucho…this disguise and the thing, or maybe that I thought it was like, this is what…I think maybe Groucho Marx was on Bugs Bunny. So anyway, I go to this costume contest. I’m somewhere around, I don't know, second, third, fourth-grade age. I wish…I don't even know how old that is. I could figure it out though; four…ten years old. Let’s just say I’m ten years old. I go to this costume contest. The costume contest was in a room, a large room full of people, 'cause I think it was for every Cubs Scout or whatever from whatever age. So, we're parading around the room, and it’s in this church basement; low ceilings, a lot of noise, a lot of audience participation. I don't know who’s judging, the whole audience or what. I kinda was like, I don't really stand a chance 'cause I just whipped this thing together recently. But so, I’m going around, and then this grandfather-like figure, he decides to become my costume contest manager.

 

But I had no idea what he was talking about. So, he’s like, why aren't you…? He’s telling me these Groucho…whatever. Like, I don't know. I know it’s like…I know this one 'cause I believe it now. I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member. He didn't say that, though. But he was saying, whatever, blah, blah, and I want you to walk like this. This is while we're parading around the room, and I don't like any kind of attention. So, I’m like, ugh. Then he’s like, you need a cigar. Where’s your cigar? I’m like, what…? I have no…but I also am adaptable, so I’m kind of…probably 'cause I want to please him and have him leave me alone. But at some point I’m like use…somebody hands me a pen or whatever. He’s like, oh, okay…here; he grabs it. He’s like, pretend this is a cigar and then you do this, blah, blah, blah. Now I know that…I assume…well, actually, I don't really know a lot about the Marx Brothers, but I’m guessing that it was some sort of sketch comedy and a character Groucho would play.

 

Whatever, I consider you my…I'll consider it, madam. I don't know. He has taglines. I can't…indubitably. He has taglines that I’m not aware of, and I apologize to any huge Marx Brothers fans or Groucho fans. So, I’m going there. Of course the pen explodes — spoiler — when it’s in my mouth or whatever. So…but, so, that’s my story about…I like this version…this was a long meander of saying this character, the King of Orchids, is wearing that disguise. I’m presuming not only is it so he can…it’s more of like offering this…'cause his suit also doesn't fit him properly, but it’s not terribly fitted. It’s just like…but I think it’s intent…we're gonna say it’s intentional, right? So, he’s offering this silly, serious…or he’s just like, I’m gonna come from…this offers him an adaptability, but his adaptability…yeah, I could give you something high-end. Even though my suit doesn't quite fit, I am in a tuxedo, or I’m…got this kind of goofy disguise on.

 

I guess in the 1960s that would have been hilarious or something. So, that’s the King of Orchids. Holy cow, the Queen of Orchids…again, great…if this is a business, great work designing your bedtime storytellers. If they're all independent business people, great at coming up with ideas. So, her symbol behind her is a projector. So, maybe now we're into the talkies of movies. The Queen of Orchids, she is very comforting but professional with a dash of intrigue and refinement. So, she’s dressed in what I could say is a…you know when…? Okay, so, let’s talk about the beret. Almost like…instead of a raspberry beret…and I think if Prince had more time he would have said, raspberry sherbet beret. So, a raspberry-sherbet-type color, which is just like a paler…somewhere between a raspberry and a rose, right? I guess you could just say she wore a raspberry beret, but I think that’s a little bit darker than this beret. Calling it pink would be like doing it a disservice.

 

I like saying sherbet 'cause it rhymes with beret. So, it’s a raspberry…but it’s not just a beret, right? This is important. It could also be considered a hat. I always…I guess this is an assumption. I don't want to make a rear of me and this beret. But it…or any kind of flattish hat that has a beret look…is a beret offset? I don't know these things. But when I see it, I say, whoa, that’s stylish if you can wear it, which she can. But it’s also made from a material, and her dress is the same color; it’s…as this beret, which is this raspberry sherbet color. But it’s also made from a material that…I don't know what it’s like wearing it and I don't know what it’s made from, but it’s like that unbelievably soft sweater material. Like, when you see someone in this, whether they're wearing just the beret or their whole outfit, you say, holy cow, that looks really soft. I know it’s not…it’s like…I wish it was…if it was on a mannequin, I would touch it, but then I wouldn't because I wouldn't…I wouldn't just because I’m too…I'd overthink it.

 

They say, sir, are you petting the mannequin again? No, no, no, I’m not. I was…were you…? No, I was stroking the mannequin’s beret, as a matter of fact. I wasn't petting any mannequin at all. I was not…and then I was…yes, also try…I was doing that thing where you put a material between your thumb and your fore…your index finger. I don't know what that’s called with the…on the sleeve of the dress. So, no, I wasn't petting the mannequin again, Bernie. This is only my…I realize…no, if I was patting the mannequin’s head, that’d be different. I wouldn't understand the softness of the…I was just wondering what…sir, I can't tell you what material this is made from. Okay. ‘Cause I was just wondering, do you have any…? Two questions; you wouldn't have any men’s clothes in this material? And I tend to think about…even though it looks soft, I’m just wondering what it would feel like against my skin after I leave here. So, it probably won't work out because it looks so soft.

 

But what if it’s in my head and I start thinking, I don't know, this is like one of those materials that’s soft-looking but makes me overthink? Sir, I don't believe materials could make you overthink. Okay, thanks. Have a good day. I’m in the middle of describing…I'll be…when does the…is this part of the fall collection? Sir? Okay, I’ll be back. Don't worry, you’ll see me again. You're not getting rid of these mannequins any…? I mean, I don't…you're not getting rid of mannequins…I mean, these…I don't have any attachment to the mannequins, either, by the way. I mean, I was raised…I watched that movie when I was a kid quite a lot, but that doesn't mean any…it was after my form…it was after things were already formulated, so it wasn't…it was post…I was formulated, if you know what I mean. So, it wasn't…it’s not…I'm not here…I mean, I’m here for the mannequins but I’m here…never mind. I’ll just move on.

 

Okay, so moving on…so, this dress, it has…so, I don't know the difference…it’s a dress 'cause…I'm only saying it’s a dress 'cause it’s one piece, but it is a skirt and it has…what is that thing called with a collar that goes up? Neck thing? A turtleneck, like a ribbed turtleneck, part of it, and it’s very form-fitting. Now, I gotta imagine, I guess Prague would be the perfect place, especially if you're going indoors and outdoors, though you…I would assume…I mean, I don't know, maybe it’s high breatheability. That’s what they always say about these different fibres. Then I say, yeah, I get it. But also, once I…it just…that’s why I go to see the clothes on the…it’s kinda like I don't go to zoos. So, yeah, these stores and the mannequins, it’s…sir, are you treating our mannequins like they're a zoo? No, no. You're get…you're taking it the wrong way. I don't…sir, do you talk to the mannequins? Well, no, but now…I try to be polite or I try to make it fun for them.

 

If I say, yeah, well, is that a beret or is that a hat, my dear? So anyway…so, it’s a dress but it’s a skirt, and then she’s wearing leggings or stockings that are purple, like a purple that matches this color. So, what is that, a pastel purple, I guess? Then not knee-high boots but boots that end below the knees that are the same color as the beret and the dress that are very stylish but also…I would say some…in Prague I’d say they're pretty practical. I’d say she won't be doing a lot of walking around the room, right? Beause you'd say…but I don't know what the shoe…the base of the boot is. They could be a soft material. So, again, she knows what she’s doing. I don't have…I'm not on any cards or hotel menus, so…so yeah. But yeah, so, this is where you'd say, okay, this is a certain style…I'm looking for someone stylish, with some sort of sense of adventure, hip. I want a bedtime storyteller aspirate…I mean, for me it’d be like aspirational. Like, I couldn't pull that off. So, that’s the Queen of Orchids.

 

Okay, let’s keep moving, right? Very interesting stuff, though. Okay, we went through all the orchids. Okay, so they are kinda gendering these king and queens, which I say, okay, well…and maybe they're decading them as well, because this one is the king, and he has a cassette tape behind him. This is the King of Porpoises. I guess 'cause he’s the King of Porpoise he’s all wet. So, I’m detecting a theme here. I guess if you were looking at this on the menu, he’s wearing a tuxedo but it’s well-fitted, and then he has a white jacket with black pants, also a much more serious look, not just 'cause he’s soaking wet. He has a blue cummerbund and a untied bow tie, and he looks like he got out of the water and then he’s start…he’s not cold but he’s getting…starting to get cold. He’s like, are you kidding me?

 

But I guess as a bedtime storyteller I’d say, okay, this guy could also be…you'd say…again, these kinda things, at least in my imagination, if I ever had a high-end bedtime storytelling business…you'd say, oh yeah, Miss Marple wants you to tell a bedtime story from the bathtub, in the bathtub, wearing that tuxedo you had in the picture. Okay, well, that’s…yeah. Bathtub usage, that’s $8,000 extra, but sure, I could do that. So, I…was the bathroom door gonna be open? She’s gonna be sleeping. Okay, we could do that. But yeah, then you kinda get…I guess this guy could have been getting out of the bathtub and looking at himself in the mirror and being, this is what my life’s become. But again, then he’d be…get paid after. He’d be like, okay, this is bad. I spent a hour and a half in…maybe she was like, I want the bathtub to be luke…I guess if you were in there you can't turn the water back on.

 

Okay, I could see why he’s a little bit…and if he spent the time it would take to tell a Sleep With Me story, that’s about a hour and twenty minutes plus getting into the tub, giving it some time. The water probably did cool off quite a bit if not totally, so he’s…yeah, so…but still, I think yeah, okay, yeah, you still made more than the day rate of what…you made more…so, you got well compensated. Now, the Queen of Porpoises…now, this is definitely…I don't believe she would…well, okay, no, I’m wrong. If this…so, let’s imagine a couple clientele. Well, she’s in underwater gear including flippers and snorkelling gear, and it’s also very glamorous. It’s like some neoprene with blues. Behind her is a more modern radio or a older…I guess it’s a more modern radio, though not that much more modern. But yeah, so, she’s in well-fitted neoprene for swimming in a warm-water area. So, you'd say, okay, this probably wouldn't work in Prague except if this is a really high-end client.

 

Well, one, you'd say, okay, I get the sense, another sense of adventure; maybe water-based stories, maybe swimming with the porpoises, maybe a water-based connection. But also if you're willing to, they say, oh yeah, no, we could bring in a giant…we do have a room, like the aquarium room, which is…has a giant…the walls are fish tanks. Yeah, she could tell a bedtime story from there, kinda like Weeki Wachee Mermaids, if they were telling you a bedtime story. Then you have a option to either have it go over a speaker, you could put your ear against the glass. So yeah, I didn't think about that, but that’s a high-end opportunity. Okay, next up is the King of Crabs, and behind him is a TV from the 19…I'm assuming that’s supposed to be the nineties or something, but it looks like a TV from the eighties. He’s dressed as…he’s like a…so, he has a rain coat on. His pants fit pretty good. He looks like he has comfortable shoes.

 

He has a vest on and a tie and a dress shirt, but he kinda seems like he would serve the thing of like, oh, if you want a story like Miss Marple but with a person looking into the mystery that’s like eggs that have been boiled for…you know, well…like a well-boiled story, you'd say, this is who I’m looking for, the King of Crabs. Okay, icon time. So, the Queen of Crabs, she has a reel-to-reel tape recorder behind her. So, that’s…okay, so that…or a reel-to-reel recorder player. She’s dressed in this iconic outfit that…I recognize it from this one video game that was in the same genre that had this heroine, and then maybe there was a show, a British show that ended up being like a superhero movie named the same thing. She may have worn something similar. She’s a redhead and she has orange-ish, yellow, sunset-colored boots, and then the middle of her dress, which also is a one piece…she has one stripe that matches the color of her boots, then her…down the middle of her dress, the front and middle, and then…or a dress skirt.

 

It’s somewhat short. This is the sixties, man. Then the rest of her dress is this green, almost like a grassy green, and it’s kinda simple, stylish look. I don't know if that’s what a mod look is. But yeah, you'd say, yeah, I’m looking for something funky, I’m looking for something…again, it’d be a different style. I’d say, huh, I mean, definitely separates her from a sensibility standpoint from the other, other people you'd be choosing from. So, those are the crabs. I don't know how many more we have. Oh, we got more. A sailboat. Okay, the sailboat again has another projector or a reel-to-reel recorder. It’s got two reels. He’s dressed as a tourist or like…if you were like…again, if…this would be only one genre. It wouldn't be in the sixties. But you say, I’m a parrot head, man, and I’m looking for a bedtime storyteller. You say, okay, we got the perfect person for you. So, he has on sandals. He’d be cold in Prague, but not indoors, or showing up to tell a bedtime story. Then he has purple shorts on.

 

They're not short-shorts, but they're shorts, but they're nice dress shorts. They're well-fitting. Actually, he has his hands in the pockets of the shorts. Then he has on a tasteful Hawaiian shirt that’s blue with a floral-type print that matches…simple, tasteful, that matches his shorts. So, he’s kinda casual. Then he actually has binocs around his neck. So, I guess he could do a similar…maybe he’s copying me. It’s kinda weird; it’s a time-traveller, but…I was doing those binoc balcony episodes. But more…I mean, Prague would probably be a great place to do that when the season…the weather’s the right season. So yeah, if you're looking for something beachy, if you're looking for something casual, tropical, vacationy, maybe even like dad vacation, dad-joke vacation vibes. Okay, the Queen of Sailboats, she has a TV. Kinda looks like more of a seventies TV behind her. She’s also dressed very glamorously in a lavender gown, and it’s sleeveless and it has one of those slips.

 

So you say, okay, I’m not…and then she has shoes; not…like thin-heeled shoes. So, sensible…I guess they're…I don't know what they're called if they're not a high-heel. They're a medium heel, but not a thin heel, like where you can at least do some walking and stuff. She has…her dress goes all the way up to her neck, but it’s sleeveless, and she’s striking. She’s looking right at the camera. Even her hair…she has shorter hair, but it looks like it’s colored to match her clothing, or she kind of keeps her hair dye with streaks in sync with her outfit. So, you’d say, okay, I want something striking, glamorous and striking versus glamorous…the other queen was kinda more ball glamorous. She’s more…is that…chic glamorous or something? Okay, now we have the anchors. So, the King of Anchors, he’s dressed practically and definitely for style. If you look…see him, you're like, okay, I know what genres he’s gonna be good at.

 

So, he’s wearing either jeans or a purple navy pant, well-fitted but still functional, and then one of those rugged sweaters that has the ribs and also is a turtleneck. That also he’s…looks like he’s in pretty good shape, and he also has suspenders on that match his pants for, I think, style and…I don't know. You say, okay, this guy, he’s rugged. I would say that. You're looking for something rugged or rugged…any genres in that rugged area, sub-genres. Say, tell me more about some rugged sub-genres of bedtime stories, Scoots. I’d say, there’s a lot of them; work-related, adventure-related, there could be ones…rugged-after-dark-related. You know, whatever you're looking for. That’s what they say with this game that I’m imagining. Okay, okay, yeah, 'cause this must be the…oh, wait, what was behind him? A typewriter; okay. Then a old rotary telephone is behind the Queen of Anchors.

 

Now, she’s definitely…I think these two are in the after…they may specialize more in the after-dark…though you could always…you can always say, yeah, I want something that’s gonna make my heart pitter-patter, my back sweat before I fall asleep. She’s definitely in that. She’s dressed in a office outfit but she’s looking back over her shoulder. She’s carrying manila envelopes, but she has high-heels on again with a thicker sole, but they're higher heels. Then her dress is not maroon but a deep red. But then she has…what are those things on your wrists called? Sleeves? No, down below your sleeve, the wrist things and the collar of her neck. Wrist collar and neck collar are white, so it kinda gives this pop. Then she has her hair in a ponytail and she’s wearing glasses. So, she’s saying, yeah, if you're looking for something in this non-rugged work genre, or, you know, if you're looking for something office-related, bedtime or professional-related bedtime stories, I could provide those.

 

Wow, so that’s the cards. They really provide it with a lot. Let’s just read through this quickly here, the instructions. Two to six players, thirty minutes. You need a six-suited deck like the Island deck, six pawns matching the suits of the deck, a first-player button, the game board, and a pen and paper for each player. Okay, so it’s a suited deck. We have this special deck, but any six-suited deck will do, as long as you have pawns in matching colors. Set up; give the button to a random player and deal each player a starting hand of three cards. Place each bedtime storytelling pawn on a random spot. These are the numbered spaces around the edge of the board. Do not use K or Q. Okay, set the deck beside the board. Turn over one card face-up. This is the open contract. Leave space for a line of up to six beside the deck. Okay, the board has streets, intersections, parks, houses, spawn points, and exits. Each round has two steps; mission and action.

 

In the mission step, each player writes down a secret mission. This is a three-part code which includes color, action, and direction. As follows, you pick one color; red, blue, etc. One verb…move or bedtime story. Direction; north, south, east, or west. These codes form a sentence such as red moves east or blue tells bedtime story south. Starting with the button proceeding the last, each player carries out their instructions, but there’s some notes. Some roads are not perfectly aligned with the compass, so north can be anything even slightly north. With curved streets, it refers to the direction of the exit and not necessarily the position of the destination. You can move one space in a direction given. If there is no path in the direction, the pawn cannot move. If you move somebody off the board, it may return to any empty spawn point. When one character moves into another, there is the bedtime story sleep result. See below.

 

Bedtime storytelling; words are projected in straight lines, can move through multiple intersections until they reach a spy, a bend, or a park. Stories cannot move along card…curved streets. When a bedtime story tells another bedtime story a bedtime story, they fall asleep. Contracts; all cards in the suit represent contracts for the corresponding bedtime storyteller. Number cards are the payments for putting those bedtime storytellers to sleep. Aces are worth one point. Face cards are worth ten points. Earn by moving those bedtime storytellers into their hotel so they could just go to sleep on their own. Beside the deck there will always be one or more open contracts, which anyone may collect. The game starts with one open contract and more are added and removed throughout the game. You may hold up to three contracts in your hand that are secret. Bedtime storytellers sleeping…one bedtime story can tell another bedtime storyteller a story from a distance or by moving into their space.

 

When you tell them a bedtime story, you collect one bounty from your hand or from the open contracts. Record your score on your paper and discard the card unless you are keeping aces for their special abilities. You can't score multiple bounties with the same story. At the end of the turn the sleeping spies will reappear as new agents or at random spawn points. Choose a space by dealing a card from the deck. If the space is occupied, count up until you reach an empty space. For a king, restart at ace. The card…revealed card is added to the line of open contracts. The line can only hold one card of each suit, so you must discard all the cards of the same suit. Unsuccessful bedtime storytellers…if you tell a bedtime storyteller a bedtime story and they fall asleep but you can't collect the contract for it, then the option to collect a contract passes to the left until someone plays one. Wasted stories; if you tell a story and no one hears it, you must discard a card.

 

Safe houses; these are when the hotels…where you can…your bedtime storyteller can go to bed on their own without being bested by another bedtime storyteller. It disappears and respawns as described above. You may score one reward, king or queen, when you do this from your hand or from the open contracts. Face cards are worth ten points. Note that even if you do not collect a reward for moving a spy into their safe house, the spy still goes and respawns. But if…it’s not like a unsuccessful bedtime storyteller…unsuccessful bedtime storyteller. No one’s allowed to collect the safe house reward if you do not collect one. Repeating; after you take your action, you may discard a card of the same suit. As the bedtime storyteller, you just control to repeat the same command. You may do so multiple times. At the end of each turn, make sure you draw ‘til you have three cards. When the deck empties, recycle the discards.

 

After every player has carried out their orders, pass the button to the left and play another round. The game ends after twelve rounds or ten rounds with five players. After the final round, total up your points. It’s also optional at bedtime…story powers. You can try these rules after…okay, so there’s…those are different rules just to make the game more interesting. Here’s a couple clues; notable quotes from play-testing. Hard lakes make interesting fish. You also miss most of the stories you do tell. They say Prague is…and the people in this storytelling game are merely a proxy for the interconnected stories of thousands of bedtime storytellers across the globe. Let us know; if you like that map, we’ll do another one. Game design is by James Earnest, and yeah, that’s everything. That’s another board game unboxing, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Bored Game Unboxing

 

Beanie Babies

https://treasurekeeper.com/blogs/news/the-original-9-beanie-babies?srsltid=AfmBOoqAXP822qM2NBaR3OCcPKh3LHa1KWq0QfBsW6wl6iMobTKFG4hv

https://www.history.com/articles/how-the-beanie-baby-craze-came-to-a-crashing-end

https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/beanie-babies-history/

 

Bad Assassin board game / James Ernest

https://crabfragmentlabs.com/lecture-hall

https://www.drivethrucards.com/en/product/557834/bad-assassin-board

https://crabfragmentlabs.com/

 

Prague

https://www.introducingprague.com/history

https://discoveringprague.com/prague-history/

https://czechia-prague.com/prague-history/the-history-of-prague-from-the-ancient-celts-to-the-soviet-union/

 

Groucho Marx Glasses

https://fromthemarxives.home.blog/this-demands-further-investigation/

https://forward.com/culture/522416/jewish-story-behind-groucho-marx-glasses-mustache-mask-halloween-marx-brothers/

https://www.printmag.com/featured-design-history/embalmed-in-plastic-the-nuances-of-groucho-glasses/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

It’s time to open up a board and be a little bit bored

The silliness hasn’t started yet

Huh, how do you play this game?

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth

 

INTRO

I can’t even remember what I say 

Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here

I was stumped by my own question

My brain is just stumped, period

Why do I run through the things that may keep you awake?

Most people don’t discover this podcast on a lark

Please only be on toy larks

Remembering the pillow pet we misplaced years ago

What were those beanbag toys called? TJ’s?

My former mother-in-law had the Princess Di one

Metaphorically only are we on a lark

A lark is kind of like a je ne sais quoi, if I may misuse two terms

This podcast auto-sillies itself

High Lark Amplitude

I’d be skipping in a natural area

Humming or singing to myself

Ideally no shoes or shirt on

Peaceful, satisfied

Podcasts I discovered on a lark

You’re not alone

Sending out or receiving kindness

Your Own Type of Larking

Spe-Larking

Can someone remind me of that?

Let’s all send our spelarkiness out to one another

Splarky is my pet

A word salad is too structured for me

I prefer word mash

It’s ok if you don’t like me

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

A long, boring seminar you don’t have to pay attention to

You don’t need to focus on me

My job is to be your borefriend

I could do that heart with my fingers thing, too, if that helps

Winding Down Together

Like a sleepover after the pillow fight

There’s no wrong way to listen

I’d never be on a real lark

Let’s just look up this phrase to quiet that particular brainbot

Tonight is a Bored Game Unboxing

Oh yeah, it’s from the term “skylarking”

 

STORY

The reverse of sponsored content

Games I’m getting from someone I support on Patreon

Crabé Fragment Labs

Inexpensive Bottom Games

I got a game that’s similar to Checking Into Boredom

I got a deck of cards, a map, instructions, and a story

Let’s look at the map first

This deck can be used for more than just one thing

Lookland

The Island Deck

Full of bedtime storytellers

A 6-suited deck

Non-Positive Bedtime Storyteller

In Prague, 1966

A menagerie of storytellers, supervisors, clients, thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations

You are intrepid bedtime storytellers

You’ll be making deals with causes of sleeplessness all over Prague

A simple brainbot finding game

A genre of Sponage, if you get my drift

1. Sponage

Searcher vs Searcher

You can score points by distracting the bedtime storyteller or meeting with a client

Okay, let me look at the map

What part of Prague is this? 

My brother studied abroad there

I definitely learned “dobrý den”

And some other basic stuff

Old City and New City

A, K, Q, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Then there’s some houses

Some pawn pieces

I mean, we might as well compare this map to a real Prague map

Most of this game takes place in Old Town

Cross-referencing with squares and bridges

Staromětské aka Old Town Square

Have I been to that garden?

I’d like to go back to Prague, for sure

Can I find the #7 square?

Is a big open area a square?

The map has: streets, paths, gray streets, tan streets, a compass, etc.

Opening the deck of cards

I’m mostly familiar with the 4-suited deck

How many cards in a 6-suited deck?

A-7, Q, K

Kind of a midcentury modern design on these cards

King is an ultra-modern bedtime storyteller

One of the Golden Ages of Bedtime Storytellers

In a 1-piece suit with soft boots and built-in kneepads

Literally seeing the world through rose-colored lenses

A professional version of a paper towel tube

Palm Tree King (PTK)

Palm Tree Queen (PTQ)

Glamorously dancing at a ball

Matching the greenish tones of the PTK

Sensible shoes for storytelling and dancing

Wait a second, there’s background details!

PTK has a radio in the background

PTQ has a film projector

The King of Orchids has a gramophone

These must be the vibes of their stories

OK has a slightly too large tuxedo

Those are long tails, even for a piano player

Wearing Groucho Marx glasses

When I was a kid, it was just called The Silly Disguise

I was not aware of the Marx Brothers as a child

Did the glasses manufacturers not have the rights to mention Groucho Marx?

Memories of childhood costumes

Lab Coat + Groucho Marx Glasses

I go to this costume contest

Parading around a church basement

I think the whole audience was judging

A grandfather-like figure becomes my Costume Contest Manager

He educated me to behave more like Groucho Marx

I don’t like attention, but I’m adaptable

Apologies to any huge Groucho fans

Of course, the pen he gave me to use as a cigar exploded in my mouth

A mouth full of ink

That’s a long way of saying the King of Orchids is wearing that same disguise

I assume his suit is intentionally ill-fitting

A silly serious offer

Queen of Orchids

She has a projector behind her

Very comforting, but professional, with a dash of intrigue and refinement

A raspberry sherbert color

A raspberry beret, if you will

Flattish Hat

It’s made from that unbelievably soft sweater material

Sir, please don’t pat the mannequin

Would you happen to have any men’s clothes in this material?

It also has a ribbed turtleneck part of it

It’s the perfect clothing for Prague

They’re always talking about fabric breathability

I try to be polite to the mannequins

This is an aspirational outfit for me as a bedtime storyteller

These Kings and Queens are pretty gendered

King of Porpoises

He has a cassette tape behind him

He’s all wet

A well-fitted tuxedo jacket

Each suit is like its own decade

How much would I charge for a bathtub bedtime story?

Queen of Porpoises is in glamorous underwater gear

Behind her is a more modern radio

Water-Based Stories (WBSs)

King of Crabs

With a CRT TV

Dressed in a raincoat

Pretty well-fitting clothes

A story like Ms. Marple

A well-boiled story

Queen of Crabs

Reel-to-reel player

I recognize her iconic outfit

I guess this is a mod look

The Sailboat Suit

Another reel-to-reel player

This King is definitely a Parrothead

Nice, purple dress shorts

A tasteful Hawaiian shirt

With binocs around his neck

He’s copying my outfits, honestly

Dad Joke Vacation Vibes

Queen of Sailboat has a 70s TV behind her

Lavender gown with a thick, medium heel

Her dress goes all the way up to her neck, but it’s sleeveless

She has dyed streaks in her hair that match her clothes

More chic than striking

The Anchor Suit

King of Anchors is dressed practically

Jeans and a rugged, ribbed sweater

And suspenders

Definitely rugged

Rugged Subgenres

A typewriter is behind him

A rotary telephone is behind the Queen

The Anchors maybe specialize in after dark stories

High, thick heels

A maroon dress

Wrist collar and neck collar are white

Offering manila envelopes for office-related bedtime stories

Reading the instructions

2-6 players, 30 minutes

6 pawns

Hands of 3 cards

Place each pawn on a random spot

An open contract card

2 steps: Mission and Action

Writing down a secret mission

Color + Verb + Direction

Each player then does their action based on their mission

Bedtime Storytelling words are projected in straight lines

Collect bounties for telling stories

You can’t score multiple bounties with the same story

Wasted Bedtime Stories

Game ends after 12 rounds

Different rules to make the game more interesting

Hard Lakes Make Interesting Fish

You Miss Most of the Stories You Do Tell

Designed by James Ernest

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1473

Title: Prague Professional Bedtime Storytellers | Bored Game Unboxing

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth

Notable Language:

• Toy Larks
• Metaphorically Only
• High Lark Amplitude
• Spe-Larking
• Splarky
• Word Mash
• E. Sponage
• Searcher vs. Searcher
• Dobrý Den
• Palm Tree King (PTK)
• Palm Tree Queen (PTQ)
• Costume Contest Manager
• Flattish Hat
• Well-Fitted Neoprene
• Water-Based Stories (WBSs)
• Well-Boiled Story
• Dad Joke Vacation Vibes
• Rugged Subgenres
• Hard Lakes Make Interesting Fish
• You Miss Most of the Stories You Do Tell

 

Notable Culture:

• • Furby
  • Pillow Pet
  • Beanie Babies
  • Princess Diana

• Podcast: The Ride

• • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • Bored Game Unboxing
  • Crab Fragment Labs
  • Cheapass Games
  • Checking Into Boredom
  • Bad Assassin game

• Spy Vs. Spy

• • Groucho Marx
  • Laurel & Hardy
  • Abbott & Costello
  • Little Rascals
  • Marx Brothers
  • Three Stooges
  • “Raspberry Beret” – Prince

• Mannequin

• The Avengers (UK series)

• Jimmy Buffett
• James Ernest

 

Notable Talking Points:

• I can’t even remember what I say 
• Whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here
• I was stumped by my own question
• My brain is just stumped, period
• Why do I run through the things that may keep you awake?
• Most people don’t discover this podcast on a lark
• Please only be on toy larks
• Remembering the pillow pet we misplaced years ago
• What were those beanbag toys called? TJ’s?
• My former mother-in-law had the Princess Di one
• Metaphorically only are we on a lark
• A lark is kind of like a je ne sais quoi, if I may misuse two terms
• This podcast auto-sillies itself
• High Lark Amplitude
• I’d be skipping in a natural area
• Humming or singing to myself
• Ideally no shoes or shirt on
• Peaceful, satisfied
• Podcasts I discovered on a lark
• You’re not alone
• Sending out or receiving kindness
• Your Own Type of Larking
• Spe-Larking
• Can someone remind me of that?
• Let’s all send our spelarkiness out to one another
• Splarky is my pet
• A word salad is too structured for me
• I prefer word mash
• It’s ok if you don’t like me
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• A long, boring seminar you don’t have to pay attention to
• You don’t need to focus on me
• My job is to be your borefriend
• I could do that heart with my fingers thing, too, if that helps
• Winding Down Together
• Like a sleepover after the pillow fight
• There’s no wrong way to listen
• I’d never be on a real lark
• Let’s just look up this phrase to quiet that particular brainbot
• Tonight is a Bored Game Unboxing
• Oh yeah, it’s from the term “skylarking”
• The reverse of sponsored content
• Games I’m getting from someone I support on Patreon
• Crabé Fragment Labs
• Inexpensive Bottom Games
• I got a game that’s similar to Checking Into Boredom
• I got a deck of cards, a map, instructions, and a story
• Let’s look at the map first
• This deck can be used for more than just one thing
• Lookland
• The Island Deck
• Full of bedtime storytellers
• A 6-suited deck
• Non-Positive Bedtime Storyteller
• In Prague, 1966
• A menagerie of storytellers, supervisors, clients, thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations
• You are intrepid bedtime storytellers
• You’ll be making deals with causes of sleeplessness all over Prague
• A simple brainbot finding game
• A genre of Sponage, if you get my drift
• E. Sponage
• Searcher vs Searcher
• You can score points by distracting the bedtime storyteller or meeting with a client
• Okay, let me look at the map
• What part of Prague is this? 
• My brother studied abroad there
• I definitely learned “dobrý den”
• And some other basic stuff
• Old City and New City
• A, K, Q, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
• Then there’s some houses
• Some pawn pieces
• I mean, we might as well compare this map to a real Prague map
• Most of this game takes place in Old Town
• Cross-referencing with squares and bridges
• Staromětské aka Old Town Square
• Have I been to that garden?
• I’d like to go back to Prague, for sure
• Can I find the #7 square?
• Is a big open area a square?
• The map has: streets, paths, gray streets, tan streets, a compass, etc.
• Opening the deck of cards
• I’m mostly familiar with the 4-suited deck
• How many cards in a 6-suited deck?
• A-7, Q, K
• Kind of a midcentury modern design on these cards
• King is an ultra-modern bedtime storyteller
• One of the Golden Ages of Bedtime Storytellers
• In a 1-piece suit with soft boots and built-in kneepads
• Literally seeing the world through rose-colored lenses
• A professional version of a paper towel tube
• Palm Tree King (PTK)
• Palm Tree Queen (PTQ)
• Glamorously dancing at a ball
• Matching the greenish tones of the PTK
• Sensible shoes for storytelling and dancing
• Wait a second, there’s background details!
• PTK has a radio in the background
• PTQ has a film projector
• The King of Orchids has a gramophone
• These must be the vibes of their stories
• OK has a slightly too large tuxedo
• Those are long tails, even for a piano player
• Wearing Groucho Marx glasses
• When I was a kid, it was just called The Silly Disguise
• I was not aware of the Marx Brothers as a child
• Did the glasses manufacturers not have the rights to mention Groucho Marx?
• Memories of childhood costumes
• Lab Coat + Groucho Marx Glasses
• I go to this costume contest
• Parading around a church basement
• I think the whole audience was judging
• A grandfather-like figure becomes my Costume Contest Manager
• He educated me to behave more like Groucho Marx
• I don’t like attention, but I’m adaptable
• Apologies to any huge Groucho fans
• Of course, the pen he gave me to use as a cigar exploded in my mouth
• A mouth full of ink
• That’s a long way of saying the King of Orchids is wearing that same disguise
• I assume his suit is intentionally ill-fitting
• A silly serious offer
• Queen of Orchids
• She has a projector behind her
• Very comforting, but professional, with a dash of intrigue and refinement
• A raspberry sherbert color
• A raspberry beret, if you will
• Flattish Hat
• It’s made from that unbelievably soft sweater material
• Sir, please don’t pat the mannequin
• Would you happen to have any men’s clothes in this material?
• It also has a ribbed turtleneck part of it
• It’s the perfect clothing for Prague
• They’re always talking about fabric breathability
• I try to be polite to the mannequins
• This is an aspirational outfit for me as a bedtime storyteller
• These Kings and Queens are pretty gendered
• King of Porpoises
• He has a cassette tape behind him
• He’s all wet
• A well-fitted tuxedo jacket
• Each suit is like its own decade
• How much would I charge for a bathtub bedtime story?
• Queen of Porpoises is in glamorous underwater gear
• Behind her is a more modern radio
• Water-Based Stories (WBSs)
• King of Crabs
• With a CRT TV
• Dressed in a raincoat
• Pretty well-fitting clothes
• A story like Ms. Marple
• A well-boiled story
• Queen of Crabs
• Reel-to-reel player
• I recognize her iconic outfit
• I guess this is a mod look
• The Sailboat Suit
• Another reel-to-reel player
• This King is definitely a Parrothead
• Nice, purple dress shorts
• A tasteful Hawaiian shirt
• With binocs around his neck
• He’s copying my outfits, honestly
• Dad Joke Vacation Vibes
• Queen of Sailboat has a 70s TV behind her
• Lavender gown with a thick, medium heel
• Her dress goes all the way up to her neck, but it’s sleeveless
• She has dyed streaks in her hair that match her clothes
• More chic than striking
• The Anchor Suit
• King of Anchors is dressed practically
• Jeans and a rugged, ribbed sweater
• And suspenders
• Definitely rugged
• Rugged Subgenres
• A typewriter is behind him
• A rotary telephone is behind the Queen
• The Anchors maybe specialize in after dark stories
• High, thick heels
• A maroon dress
• Wrist collar and neck collar are white
• Offering manila envelopes for office-related bedtime stories
• Reading the instructions
• 2-6 players, 30 minutes
• 6 pawns
• Hands of 3 cards
• Place each pawn on a random spot
• An open contract card
• 2 steps: Mission and Action
• Writing down a secret mission
• Color + Verb + Direction
• Each player then does their action based on their mission
• Bedtime Storytelling words are projected in straight lines
• Collect bounties for telling stories
• You can’t score multiple bounties with the same story
• Wasted Bedtime Stories
• Game ends after 12 rounds
• Different rules to make the game more interesting
• Hard Lakes Make Interesting Fish
• You Miss Most of the Stories You Do Tell
• Designed by James Ernst