Episode 1471 – Biscuit Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep S12/C9 E2

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bake…hello, bakers. It’s time for Sleep With Me. Whether your wafer…whether you prefer your wafer is Matt or your biscuit is Noel…or, you know what I like to do is sit on a knoll, a K-N-O-L-L, if that’s how it’s spelled, or a notch in a tree, a low notch, or looking at a notch. I’d love to have a wafer and a biscuit while on a knoll or a notch or on a mat, for that…pardon the pun. But yeah, that’s the truth. So, yeah, welcome to Sleep With Me if you're new, the podcast that puts you to sleep. This episode’s about the Great British Bake Off baking show later, and I’ll explain all…but I’m glad you're here if you're new. This show is very different. It’s here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, maybe bring you some sleepy joy and delight or jelight. If you were gonna put that in a biscuit, put some jelight in there. This biscuit is jelightful. Thank you, thank you. It’s got extra jelight in there. Jelight is just…it’s not a essence, either.

 

It’s just…it’s a thing. You taste it with your…jelight; you taste it with your heart. So, if you're new, you're definitely wondering what’s going on right now. But if you're a regular listener, a nightly listener, or you just come back to the show when you need it, I’m so glad you're here. For new listeners or for anybody coming back, this free, ad-supported, listener-supported version of the podcast benefits a lot more people than only a paid podcast would be. So yeah, we got support coming up so that paying for the show is optional. The sponsors and the supporters make that happen. Then after that will be a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then after that will be our discussion of Great British Bake Off. So, it’s kinda like I touch base with you, welcome you in, we wind down or create a…lower the volume on the day, have a nice buffer, and then we carry you off into dreamland. So, I’m glad you're here. I really hope the show can help you out. If you listen on a nightly basis, if this show changes your life in a positive way every single week, if you could consider checking out these sponsors or supporting the show directly, I’d love to be able to keep doing that long into the future for you and for all the other people that listen occasionally and stuff like that. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts you're thinking about or thoughts that are…I don't know, thoughts that kind of…they feel like they've…they want your attention now, right, at bedtime, that are kinda jostling you. Or, they say, I gotta talk to you right now. You say, yeah, but I’m about to go to sleep. So, it could be thoughts, could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, whether your feelings are related to those thoughts or they're also just making an appearance right at bedtime. You say, perfect time.

 

I mean…and I mean…I do mean that sarcastically, feelings. I mean, there are perfect…feelings; there’s a perfect time for them. Bedtime…I guess it’s better for me to just feel them and let them pass and not get into it with them. Inevitably I do. But it could be feelings about the past or something coming up in the future, or they're just there. It’s tough to pause. It’s tough not to get caught up in debating my thoughts and my feelings, maybe even physical sensations. Maybe it’s changes in time, temperature, routine, you're going through something, you got something coming up, you're in the middle of something, you're getting over something, you're traveling, you have guests. Whatever it is.

 

The only reason I like to kinda touch on some of the things that get in the way of my sleep and a lot of listeners’ sleep, or impact it, is so you get the sense you don't have to do this alone, that there’s other people out there that understand where you're coming from, and not only do they understand; they wish you well, because myself and everybody listening right now that listens on a regular basis or that counts on the show when they need it, they're wishing you well right now 'cause they get it. They say, I know it’s non-positive for me when I can't sleep. I know what it feels like for me, and it’s not great. If it’s like…anything like that for you, I really hope this podcast can help you out. So, yeah, it’s like, just see how it goes, because you deserve a bedtime you don't have to dread. You deserve a bedtime where you get the rest you need on a regular basis so your life is more manageable tomorrow. You deserve a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about, you know?

 

You say, well, at least I got that podcast to listen to. That guy’s…he’s kinda silly most of the time. I don't know, he’s gonna talk about Bake Off later. There’s…listeners that discovered the show, they never knew something like this could exist or that it would help them, having a bore-friend, like just something to take your mind off of stuff and listen to that’s a little bit different. But if you're new, they're also…or you're coming back, they're glad…the regular listeners are like, holy cow, welcome, really. I really, truly hope this podcast can help you where it helped me and help relieve some of that stuff in the deep, dark night. I’m not sure if you can sense that, but that’s happening right now across the world. Right in this moment, someone is wishing you well. Not just one person, but a lot of people, and they're hopeful for you.

 

Some of those people have been through something…or what…very similar to what brought you here, or they deal with something on a ongoing basis similar, so they really get it, and they're really sending you kindness and comfort across the deep, dark night right now. You don't even…you can feel it. Maybe you can feel it wash over you or pass through you or pass overhead like a cloud, or you could send it out if you want to. But this is the kinda most important part of the show, is that we are in this together, I guess indirectly and separately, but we're still together here gathered in the deep, dark night. It is a special thing, even though it’s low pressure and we’re allowed to have our own space. It’s nice to be on the sending and the receiving end or the awareness end that that’s happening in this world right now. These well wishes are going through the deep, dark night and through things that most of us have a tough time with, right?

 

So, that’s what I mean when I say I’m glad you're here and that you're in good company and that you don't have to do this alone, that we're here, because a lot of us have had the experience of having a roommate, having a sibling, sharing a bedroom, share…having a house full of people, sharing a bed with someone but not being able to sleep and not feeling like anyone gets it at all. We get it here. So, this show is different, though. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, then I kinda…whatever I was talking about at the beginning of the show. I get distracted by something. Maybe I do some sort of…I guess this is always a monologue, but sometimes you're like, oh boy, that’s…I don't know if that’s…oh, monologue that you're tangenting about now. I’d say, the lone log?

 

It does sound like…we’ve probably done a story about that. The Lovely Lone Log. But…'cause we all know that a lonely lone log is actually full of life and wonder, maybe even some wa-wa-wonder. I mean, probably, 'cause it’s full of water. You say, most of the lonely logs…lone logs I’ve discovered in the woods, they've been pretty…they do a good…by the way, logs, great job absorbing water. You really do a good job at that, and that makes you more…do you feel zesty because you're full of life? What was I saying? Oh, I go off topic about stuff. There you go. This is also a podcast…when you get here, you probably are not gonna like it if you're new. You're probably gonna wonder…you're not even gonna wa-wa-wonder. You're gonna be…what, what, what? What in the name of wonder is this? That’s a very normal way to get to the show.

 

I mean, of course if you're tired, you're having trouble sleeping, you've tried stuff your whole life or during this period and nothing has really helped and you probably spent a lot of money like I have, and then you get here…and you're like, what is this…? I thought this was a sleep…somebody recommended this? People listen to this stuff? That’s a normal way…I embrace that response. That’s a normal way to respond to the show. Why wouldn't you be skeptical or doubtful? You had a reasonable idea of what a sleep podcast would be. This is a bit different. That’s not even the point of the show. This isn't like a point, counterpoint situation. Those are all good things, and it does take listening two or three tries. That’s what people over the past thirteen years have said to me on a nearly…sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes on a weekly basis, sometimes on a monthly basis; yeah, at first I didn't like you or the show, then I listened again.

 

For some people, that spans years, 'cause they were so…they were like, never again. But then they try it again. They say, wait a second, there is something here. There is some kindness and friendliness here. Then on the third or fourth try they're like, oh, and then I woke up. Scoots, you distracted me or you comforted me. Even when I couldn't sleep, you offered me some relief and some comfort. That’s how you become a regular listener, but you don't need to. You never need to like me or the show for everything I said up and to this point to be true. So, we have a website set up just for you if you already know you don't like me or the show. I laugh 'cause it’s totally cool. We have a website set up for you…or if you tried the show three or four times. It’s sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. You just answer a couple questions. It’ll bring you to a list of other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff. I don't know how long that website’s been up; five, six, seven years, maybe longer.

 

I have no idea, because it works. I’m pretty sure it’s been up…I don't even know. So…but…'cause you still deserve a good night's sleep even if this show can't help you. We can introduce you to something that might. So, there’s that. Then…so, it’s okay if you don't like the show, I guess is what I’m saying, but give it a few tries. You got nothing to lose. One of the things that takes some getting used to is the fact that this is a sleep podcast and a podcast that you don't exactly listen to. You just kinda barely listen. It’s like a TV on in the other room or on the other side of the house, or a out-of-focus picture or a show you got playing on something under your pillow, sand passing through your hands, like a really boring seminar or presentation or class that you can't quite stay awake or pay attention to. It keeps drifting in and out like clouds in the sky or wind in the trees or like something else…a audiobook or something else you listen to, or a friend. You say, could you just talk to me for a while?

 

I just need some comfort and distraction from my thoughts or my feelings or my physical sensations, and can you just talk to me about that…the episode of the Great British Bake Off? But I can't promise I’m gonna pay attention. That part might even go unsaid, especially if it’s a good friendship. They say, yeah, yeah, just lie down and close your eyes. That’s what I’m here to do. Just lay down and close your eyes and get comfortable once we start talking about Bake Off, because I’m not here…it’s like nice water passing between your toes. You don't have to…you can listen to me, but you don't need to listen to me, and that’s also the sleep podcast side. I’ve been making the show for a while, and this show is not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure for you to fall asleep. There’s a reason the episodes are over an hour, so in ten, twenty minutes from now, you don't have to worry; oh, is there only five minutes left? What am I gonna do then?

 

There’s over 600 episodes in this ad-supported, listener-supported, free-to-use archive. So, if you do become a regular listener, you could still pick your favorites and what works for you. So, what else? Yeah, it’s…there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, who listen…they need something to listen to all night long, they have a job where they need something, whatever…I'm here to the very end whether you're awake or asleep, for them and for you. So, again, there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to hang out with you and bring you some comfort, sleepy joy, and delight, or at least a distraction, a mild distraction, 'cause my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-sib, your bore-bruh, your bore-bud, your borebie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your bore-bae, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just keep you company and hang out with you while you fall asleep, 'cause sometimes you just…you know what I mean?

 

To relieve some of that stuff. Your bore-friend’s just here to hang and chill. So, that’s a couple things you need to know; most people don't like the show at first, it takes a lot of getting used to, it’s a podcast but you don't listen to it. It’s a sleep podcast but it doesn't put me to sleep. What other news do you have for us? Great question. I like to run through…the structure is also counter-intuitive, particularly when you first get here. Yeah, let me run through the structure of the show so you know if you're new or if you came back or something. So, this version of the podcast that you're most likely listening to…'cause most people listen to this free version linearly. So, it starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. Then there’s ads, 'cause yeah, it needs ads and listener support so we can make it and put it out for free. So, that…those are there.

 

Then there will be our intro to the podcast, which is a show within a show, totally separate from the support, and it’s where it takes fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty minutes for me to introduce what the podcast is, but I follow a familiar structure every time so that you have something…you say, oh, okay, something reassuring and familiar, but every intro is different so that it’s always new. Part of the reason is just…for me, I always needed some…if I had anything repetitive, it would just stop working for me, but I did want something familiar. So, that’s why every intro is new and…but I don't know, it does follow the same structure so you get a sense of what the podcast is. But the intro also serves a couple other purposes. One is it’s not designed to put you to sleep. If you fall asleep fast, your best bet is to support the show directly. Or we have a story-only version, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, and that still has…has to have ads so it can be free, but that might work.

 

But for most people and the way we designed the show over the past thirteen years is that the intro is meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep. So, most people are…there’s no wrong way to listen, but you could be getting ready for bed, you could be winding down, somewhere…in your bedroom or outside of your bedroom. Maybe you're doodling, looking out the window, petting your pets, chilling out, lying on the floor. I mean, lying on the floor on some…on a blanket or something is pretty nice. Or you could be in bed getting comfortable. Whatever it is is…and that’s just what’s been shown to work, is having a wind-down period to ease you into bedtime.

 

That’s what works for me, and that’s everything I’ve learned about sleep, is having a buffer between being awake and asleep. So, that’s what the intro does. Then there will be support, and then there will be our coverage of Great British Bake Off. Yeah, all told, we’ll be here a bit over an hour. I’m really glad you're here. I really hope we can help you out. Thanks again for coming by, and if this podcast does change your life on a nightly basis, if you…we want to be here for you and everybody else. So, if you consider one of these sponsors or the show, you change the future of the podcast. So, think about it. If it’s changed your life, think about changing the life of the show, too. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here, and this is Great British Bake Off, Episode 2. I don't have the collection in front of me, 'cause I was thinking tonight we’ll just start with some of the facts that came out of the episode that I was interested in, see how long that takes, and then run through the episode. So, there was something…I don't know about this one. We’ll skip this one. It was about just barely making it through. What’s the difference between jam, jelly, and preserves, was a question I wrote. Let’s see what I found out here on both Smuckers and Mrs. Wage’s pages. Mrs. Wage’s pages…how much of the fruit goes in the jar and how chunky are they? Jelly, the main ingredient is fruit juice. Jam, which is what they use in this episode…crushed or mashed fruit, and then I think this got passed through a sieve, a sieve, a cheesecloth, some sort of filter. So, I don't know what’s…is mashed…not from…like, mashed and cooked. It wasn't preserves, basically. Thicker and more spoonable than jelly.

 

It does have some pulp and sometimes seeds. So, I don't think this had seeds, but again, we’ll see. Preserves…by the way, I’ve been making my own…not preserves, but kind of compote preserves. It’s whole berries, large pieces of fruit suspended in a light syrup or a loose jam-like base. Jam is the most jiggly. There’s other jarred relatives, too. Marmalade is a citrus preserve but also can include the rind or the peel. Oh, fruit butter; this is a good question I had. Apple, like apple butter, which I’ve seen at Trader Joe’s before…no actual butter. It’s slow-cooking fruit pulp until it becomes thick, dark, and spreadable, like a dense puree. Then there’s mixed jams that can have spices, nuts, and raisins. According…I do like preserves 'cause I’m trying to get…maybe one day I’ll do a real-time recipe, 'cause I have been working on my own recipes lately. Okay, also dodgy and Artful Dodger come up in this episode. Dodgy kinda means in our movements, like getting out of the way or on the other end.

 

Like, you say, hey, could you do this for me? Well…oh…a little bit of deflecting. But it’s more quintessentially British and used in Britain, Australia, and New Zealand…slang. It can be one of…an all-purpose word there. There’s a lot of places to find stuff there. Wiki…there’s a bunch of different slang things. Wikinictionary are good places to learn more. Then we have the old Artful Dodger from the Dickens Fair. Jack Dawkins…allo, allo, allo, you know? It’s from Oliver Twist. Right now we're reading the Pickwick Papers, and we’ll probably, in the holidays, keep reading through A Christmas Carol. But yeah, Artful Dodger is the leader of a group of friends that Oliver joins. They also do some consulting with Fagan. Yeah, just a famous, a nearly archetypal…at least to me archetypal, 'cause I spend so much time at the Dickens Fair. Hopefully 2026 I make it back to Dickens, you know? There’s the Artful Dodger.

 

The next question comes up in a lot of these British Bake Off episodes, and I do have to…find myself returning to it. Let’s talk about buttercream and other things, 'cause I keep getting that stuff mixed up. Those are different frostings and toppings that go on things, including this…or fillings. So, buttercream is…it can mean more than one thing, right? So, let’s start with that. I guess especially if you're at a big-brand grocery store, it can be dodgy, I guess you'd say. So, American buttercream is…usually has shortening, though it can sometimes have butter, powdered sugar, and then a splash of milk or cream. It’s very sweet in flavor, but also, I think depending on the ingredients, it can also be so…whatever they're using as a butter…or a shortening…and this I did not look into more…can create this…it makes it less palatable, right?

 

It makes it more last and hold its shape well, but it doesn't…it leaves something on the tongue, you know, that’s, to me, not…when you look at it you're like, oh boy, this is gonna be like descending into a heavenly cloud. Okay, let’s go onto meringue or European buttercreams. There’s Swiss and Italian. Those have egg whites, granulated sugar, and unsalted butter. Silky, buttery, less sweet, like clouds of butter, but the sugar’s…so, the sugar is not gritty 'cause it’s dissolved in the egg whites first. I don't know if I made one of these. I do have meringue powder. Swiss is made by whisking sugar and egg whites together over a double boiler, and the Italian is made by putting hot sugar syrup into whipping egg whites. I should have looked up what the meringue powder does. Then there’s French buttercream. That’s egg yolks, sugar syrup, and butter. This might be…this sounds like my favorite. Rich, custardy, and heavy. Yolks instead of whites…so, like a thick pastry cream.

 

Maybe not the best topping. Maybe it’s better for filling. Then we have cream cheese frosting. That’s cream cheese, butter, powdered sugar, ermine; that’s cooked flour frosting. I haven't heard of this one. Flour, milk, sugar, and butter. Ganache is chocolate and heavy cream. Royal icing…okay, this is another one. Oh, royal icing is the one with meringue powder, powdered sugar and egg whites or meringue powder. That one I’ve made for going on sugar cookies, right? Then whipped cream frosting or Chantilly…that’s heavy cream and sugar, maybe some mascarpone or gelatin. That’s fresh and airy. Okay, this…so, this one came up. I really…this was one…I said, man, we gotta get back into this research section. Who is Action Man? It was a throwaway line I think that Matt said. I said, did Matt really just say Action Man? So, Action Man, for generations in the UK, was a definitive action figure similar to G.I. Joe in the US.

 

It was a action figure which both the US and the UK said…because…the prevailing wisdom, quote, unquote, at the time, was that boys shouldn't play with dolls, which is…but you're just changing the verbiage. So, I played with dolls. I mean, I did play with dolls. That’s actually where the sleep podcast came out of, was me playing with my daughter’s dolls as an adult. So, not even as a child. But yeah, some of my dolls were robots. They were toys. So, originally it was a licensed copy of that toy, but then had…became…had a British identity through the sixties through the nineties. A movable, fun friend. They said, first this thing is dressed a little too American, so let’s give it some…more British sensibility. So, they did that. They also emphasized it had twelve points of articulation. So, like a G.I. Joe, there’s different…wrists, elbows, rotate…shoulders. Wrists…sometimes wrists, or most of the time wrists? The original Star Wars figures were less articulating, I guess.

 

Oh, they had soft rubber hands — maybe they all did — fuzzy hair, and eagle eyes. You could move the eyes in the seventies, a feature…that’s cool. Then in the eighties with the popularity of Bond, it came…got into Bond styling and Bond plotting in the commercials, and then going on adventures deep in the sea, in the mountains, the poles. Yeah, this is…I did not have time to dig into the world of catalogues and YouTube, but I will do that. But yeah, some of the cartoons I kinda did a quick glance over. Similar to the ones in the US; lights, cameras, Action Man, including a nemesis or nemesi, forts, sound effects, mechanical friends, taglines…definitely taglines. I gotta learn more about this. Creating your own endings…and then, yeah, going on adventures in the nineties took on a nineties style, man. I drink Mountain Dew, I listen to rock, I use hair gel that’s purple when I take it out of the container, but when I put it in, it’s not purple, I dress in that kinda sensibility. I’m nineties Action Man.

 

Yeah, I do…in the US I would be doing it country cool. In the UK I’m doing it county cool, you know? So, yeah, that was it. So, let’s see, anything else about that? Maybe even made it to the aughts. So, catchphrases, gadgets, and up…kinda staying busy, staying full of action. Okay, then after that I wanted to know more about Dutch windmills, right? Windmills played a plot, or mill…not a windmill, actually; a water wheel mill played a thing in one of the Check Into Boredom episodes. So, most of Europe…a windmill was a grist mill to turn wheat into flour. In the Netherlands, however, the land is below sea level, so they had mills that could pump water and then drain areas into fertile polders, where you could grow things. You had to create a whole group of them to work together, 'cause each windmill only had…could only lift so much water. Even one area…there was over 600 windmills in one area.

 

They could help make ships, grind things, make paint, and grind other things for paper and food products. If the wind is right, it could do as much work as thirty people. Now, what is…what else is different? Well, there’s stone…in some places you'd find stone Dutch windmills, octagonal…octagonal. Sorry, that’s hard for me to say without breaking it up. Octagonal. That doesn't sound right. It could be…it was lighter 'cause the soil was lighter. It had a rotating cap, so it could be turned to face the wind. It spun counterclockwise. That was based on the gears and the rigging of the sails. There’s about 1,200…I’d like to go on a windmill tour, too, out of maybe 9,000. Traveller…Tina’s Blog has everything you need to know, holland.com, Wikipedia, of course, to find out more. Okay, snooker came up in this episode, the game. Huh, it’s snooker. Not very popular in the US. Why and what’s up with it?

 

Okay, it was 1875 it started, with British people working in India, and they…there was a lot of different games played with these balls and sticks. There was also…snooker was a military term in Britain, and then it was brought back to England. A table, 12×6, smaller, rounded pockets making…potting, as they call it, sinking a ball, hard, fifteen red balls worth one point each, and then a yellow ball’s worth two, green; three, brown; four, blue; five, pink; six, black; seven, and then a cue ball. First you have to put a red in, then you can nominate a color. Then if you put it in, that ball’s placed in the original spot, and then you go back to a red. Then once all fifteen reds are potted, then you go through the colors in numerical order. Snooker is when you place the cue ball in a position where your opponent can't hit the required ball in a straight line. Never caught on in the US because of billiards. At the same time, the US was already creating its own sports with cues, as they say.

 

Four ball and pocket billiards were already in…popular in American saloons. Also, space-wise, a snooker table is much larger. Also, our attention spans…American pool is faster and about making shots. If you want to watch it as a spectator, it’s more interesting, where snooker can take up to sixty minutes for a single frame, and it’s more about the…what do you call it? The refined skills than just trying to sink balls. A little bit slower, more strategic. Okay, what…speaking of slow…or speaking of games, what about Reversi? I didn't ask about the difference between Othello and Reversi, but I should have. Okay, Reversi is one of these games…it’s quick to learn but not easy to become great at. 8×8, un-checkered board, 64 disks, a different color on each side; one side lighter, one side darker. We don't know exactly…there’s two different stories where the game was created. So, there’s Reversi and Othello. Oh, this is interesting.

 

Othello was inspired by the Shakespearean play, and in that version, the starting position is fixed; four disks in the center, and the rules were standardized. That came to popularity in the seventies starting in Japan. The Victorian version of Reversi…1883 or so, two different people were competing with their version of the game. But yeah, you're trying to surround the other person’s pieces and flip them. Basically…basic gameplay; you're gonna have the majority of your disks on the board. You place a disk on the board so it outflanks one or more of your opponents in a straight line. All of your opponents disks between your new piece and existing piece get flipped. I’m gonna have to try to play this on my phone so I can remember how to play. Like chess, you have to make a move. If you can't make a move, you pass, unlike chess, I guess, 'cause the game ends in a draw if you can't move, which…somehow playing chess on Duolingo, I find myself…I say, man, I didn't know I could go out on a draw.

 

Game ends when neither player can move or the board is full. The middle of the game might look like one person’s dominating, but it can flip really fast. In high-level play, the most important squares are the four corners, 'cause once a disk is in a corner, it can never be flipped back. So, there’s a little…there’s also an Othello World Cup. Oh yeah, and it is popular online since…I'm sure I played it. Pangolins; that also sounds like…I think this is a UK thing. I’m trying to think if this is like an aardvark. Let me see if I can find a picture. Oh, armadillo, okay. ‘Cause they both are kind of turtle-like. I don't know, they mention it on this episode. I think they may be cuter? I don't know. Pangolins have no teeth, so, I mean, that might make them cute, though armadillos are very cute. Then the last thing that came up was hobby horses, rockers. Let me just look through here, what we got. Yeah, it could go all the way back to the 1500, 1600s. But very popular in the Victorian age.

 

That was when the glider…Queen Victoria was a big fan. That’s why I probably see him at the Dickens Fair. Maybe I’ll bring one to the renaissance fair this summer. Then we had ones with…when I was a kid. But again, also space-wise, even the one I had as a kid, it was out on the porch. In a house we lived in when I was a little kid, it had an indoor/outdoor, outside room. I think that was our living room. It was a porch that was once screened in that then had windows that you ran on a thing you spun around. It might not be…it might be a thing associated with stories and Rocking Horse Winner. Oh, it’s also in Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So, yeah, that’s everything. So, let’s do a run-through of this episode here now, if I can get it loaded up. Alright, so this episode opens with a cold open that I mentioned in the cold open of this podcast, I think. We have Noel and Matt as a biscuit and a wafer cookie, and then Paul says, oh, hello, hello.

 

Let’s see if I can get some of the…first there’s birds chirping, according to the thing. Excited for Biscuit Week? Oh, I’m over the moon, yeah. Yeah, then…hey, look at the blue eyes on that guy. He’s looking at us and smacking his lips. Bye, bye. Then Noel tries to introduce the show. Then we go to a little preview. We have everybody going into the tent. Looks like a lovely day. Talking heads…some feeling good, some not feeling so good. Oh, it’s Biscuit Week, Collection 9, Episode 2, by the way. So, first up…oh, they talk about eating biscuits. Over fourteen years Noel thinks he might have ate 114 biscuits. That’s twenty-four brandy snaps. These are lace biscuits, by the way, in the US. They should have a good snap. They can be any shape, coated, dipped, or filled. Two hours. So yeah, immediately in the US, I think you think of ginger snap when you hear brandy snap, but these brandy….Prue likes to make them. They have to be twenty-four identical, right? So, that’s tough.

 

Batch baking…you have to have that look and they have to taste good…and textures. Soft interior, crispy outside. You don't want to sog it up, 'cause if the brandy snap doesn't snap…so, I don't know if I've had a real traditional brandy snap. So, Lizzie’s gonna do apple pie like the golden arches’ deep-fried one that maybe they still serve in the UK. When I was a kid there was a point, I think maybe after I got my license, that I was like…that these were still deep fried in the US, and I discovered them. They were famous for coming very warm. I would go there. I think they were probably like fifty cents or a dollar. Sometimes I would go there and then go back. So, she’s gonna do that. Crystelle’s doing apples, too. So, you're putting in different things. So, there…everybody’s working away. We get to see people’s family and sisters, Crystelle’s sisters. They seem like they have a great relationship. Apple of my pie…so, talking about family with Noel, trust stuff. Maggie is gonna make a traditional brandy snap.

 

We see her sailing. She’s got a camper van where she…she keeps it really nice. She’s also got nice, red boots on. Hers are gonna be rolled up with black currant Chantilly, so that Chantilly cream. You gotta melt the sugar. It’s like some sort of caramel. It looks like brown sugar and butter…and trying to dissolve everything. George is making kind of a Greek version based on his grandmother with pistachios and orange blossoms. It’s gonna be a strong spice to it, but he’s practiced it, though he’s not having luck with his…dissolving his sugar. Amanda’s done a bunch of practice cooking on the hob, as she says. But I don't know…she’s putting stuff down. I’m not sure what she’s putting down. She’s new to making brandy snaps. Her daughter’s name is Sophia, too. Hers are gonna be open sesame style…stem ginger. Then we have…Freya’s doing one with coffee liquor, hazelnut praline, and froth. So, kinda like a cappuccino. Noel likes how she says cappuccino. She’s a competitive horse jumper.

 

She likes riding on the horse…the beach with her horse. Or riding on her horse on the beach. Reminds me of the one time I rode that horse. It’s one of the most popular episodes we ever did. Just recapping riding on a horse…cappuccino; I don't know how she says it 'cause it’s on mute now. Rochica is doing one from Ibiza, mocha with Irish cream. She’s in Birmingham. This one’s gonna be shaped like…it looks good; ice cream cone, espresso. It looks delicious. Hopefully the alcohol is cooked out of it or it’s just like a flavoring, 'cause otherwise I can't have it, you know? Okay, then we have Chigs. He’s doing espresso martini brandy snaps. He’s playing soccer with his nephew. He likes to get out and about, man. He’s like, yeah, I like drinking espresso martinis. So, everybody…Chigs has extra batter just in case. Everybody’s putting stuff in the oven. I’m still not sure if these are the brandy snaps or what, but we’ll see. Everybody’s putting stuff in the oven. Nine minutes, eight minutes, I don't know.

 

Oh yeah, they are. Yeah, they're from sugar. If it’s just sugar and butter, yeah, you gotta be careful. Oh, so they're not…they're lacy but they're lacy 'cause of when they bake. You don't lace…you don't pre-lace them. They just come out lacy and then you conform them, maybe from the bubbles…must be in the butter and the sugar. So, people take them out of the oven. They're shaping them. Jairzeno runs with his dog. That looks pretty nice. Then he’s reading a book. He’s making chocolate, passion fruit, and pineapple brandy snaps. Everybody goes back, trying to make their mix-ins, which is a lot of blending and mixing and measuring. Creme de cassis, Chantilly cream…chopping stem ginger, chocolate…crumble…oh boy, apple crumble, hello. Lizzie’s is a little bit more congealed than she’d like. Irish cream…oh, we got Jurgen; his is a chai, chai creme pat. He’s using a lot of cinnamon and chai. We see a picture of him from…as a photographer. Then he’s working with spreadsheets.

 

So, his is interesting. Cubed mango…then we have Giuseppe; hazelnut butter, chocolate creme pat. He’s trying to get the ratio right. Growing up in Italy, he loved food and…yeah, he’s gonna try the different creams and hazelnut, etc, etc. Batch baking…he’s got hazel…baked hazelnuts. Gonna have everything ready? I hope so. Thanks, everybody. Okay, everybody goes back to work. We get our time constraints, and finally we get to the final assembly. Everybody’s…starts doing the best. But for the most part it looks…these look pretty appetizing. Everybody has extras, too, which must have been nice behind the scenes. So, everybody is like, does this look alright? I hope they're tasty. Huh, what is…the judges gonna say? Well, let’s find out. Paul and Prue come in. Hey, Freya. Brandy snappuccinos, eh? They do look good. Coffee, coffee liquor, good snap, nice flavor. Too strong on the coffee, though. Eight tablespoons of espresso? I like that flavor. I don't know, Paul and Prue are kind of in disagreement.

 

Prue likes it better than Paul. Amanda’s open sesame…you did this with the cold method? Yeah, so they're delicate, falling apart, but the flavor is delicious. Thank you. Stem ginger; lovely, but it doesn't look good. Better as a pudding. But Prue stays around and eats a little more. Jairzeno…laid back. A little bit of rushing, huh? Yeah, we’ve seen this before. I don't know, they didn't think the chocolate would go with the fruit, but it does. A good, sound idea. Rochica…there’s variety in size. Some are longer than others. Okay, it’s delicious and boozy. She’s like, yeah, I put a extra tablespoon in for you, Prue. George…hello, George. Hello. A bit irregular, right, in sizes. Good crunch. Wow, that flavor really works well. They're just a mess. So, very original but a bit messy. Sensational, though. So, George, he blushes. Crystelle, she closes her eyes and prays before they get here. A lovely snap. Flavor’s good. Crumble, crunch, cinnamon…you've done well. Then we have Lizzie. Claggy. Hopefully it’s delicious.

 

Congealed does not sound good. It does taste apple and brandy. Creme diplomat’s nice. Altogether, a lovely mouthful. Giuseppe; really pretty. They look elegant and uniform. Nice lace. See the taste…brandy’s delicious, crisp. Kinda lost the chocolate flavor. Hazelnut…but done well. So, he gets by. Chigs; nice and lacy. Chocolate comes through. Brandy snaps…right amount of sweetness. Not enough coffee flavor, though. So, very good, but, you know. Maggie; small. They could use more color. She says she’s disappointed. Sogged up…your cream sogged it up. They aren't baked enough. Chewy. Delicious but not…practicalities did not work. She’s disappointed. Onwards and upwards. Jurgen…they look good. Nice and even. Lovely and thin. Crunch…cardamom, cinnamon work well. Over…okay, something overwhelming in there. Creme pat’s delicious. Okay, very well. Very good. Matt tries it. Matt shakes his hand, but he said, it doesn't mean anything if I shake your hand. So, they go back.

 

Okay…talking heads time. Then we go to the gingham mystery. What’s it gonna be here? It’s from Paul. Pretty straightforward. Read your recipe. That was your hint. Read the recipe. They head off. Paul’s got a lot on his mind. What’s he gonna watch while they cook? Everybody laughs. So, for the technical challenge, childhood favorite; sandwich jammy biscuit. Two biscuits, short and tender, smooth buttercream and jam, twelve of them. One hour, forty-five minutes. They have to start. Everybody’s like, I think I’ve had these. I don't know. Never made them, never eaten them. That’s what Rochica says. You can buy these in a shop. Why would you…? Somebody said that. Paul, why do we do this? Well, they're familiar. A great challenge, though. Straightforward, but it’s gotta be spot on. I want it to look good. You gotta chill the biscuit dough, then press it to get the ridges. Gotta be the same thickness. It’s a shortbread, so you have the biscuit snap, buttery flavor. Jam will cut the sweetness.

 

Simple, lovely biscuit. I’m assuming Paul made those. So, read the recipe carefully. Ponder every word. It’s literally barely any words. Hardy, har, har. Smooth raspberry jam…put the sugar in. Jam maker? I’m a jam eater, is what someone said. So, everybody gets to work. They gotta drain their jam, roll their biscuits, chill their biscuits, press their biscuits. So, it is a lot of…a lot to juggle, right? There’s biscuits flying around. Trying to get cooked, stuff falling out of the oven, waiting at the fridge, waiting at the oven, being like, what’s gonna happen? Time starts running out. They gotta put powdered sugar on them, so they gotta be cool to do that. Then you need to put the jam and the buttercream on them. Then the time’s up. Jurgen eats one of his own. Everybody puts their biscuits up behind their…biscuit behind your piscuit, right? Paul and Prue start with Maggie’s. They don't know whose is whose, though. Lost definition, different sizes, bottoms aren't as baked.

 

It’s crumbly, though, jam and the buttercream. It’s just the look. Jairzeno; lost shape, flat, difference top and bottom. Not consistent. Hard, not buttery. Not sure…Amanda…top is smaller than the bottom. Delicate, crumbly, good flavor, proper shortbread. Who’s that, Lizzie? Everybody laughs. Under-baked, thick at the bottom. Chigs; pretty consistent, but there’s no definition. Biscuit’s lovely as it should be. Jurgen; refined, definition, and good consistency. Nice. Freya; thick buttercream, too much jam, too sweet. Chantel; over-boiled jam. Ruins all the textures. George; not properly cut and chilled. It shrank in the oven. Jam looks great. Buttercream slightly underdone. Rochica; raw. Maybe it didn't get in the fridge enough. Giuseppe; a bit thin. Prue likes it thin, though. Cream’s good, shape’s good, flavor’s good, jam’s good. Alright, so, eleventh spot; Rochica. They didn't get in the oven long enough, huh? Ninth; Chantel, then…they go…it went too fast. Amanda’s fourth.

 

Giuseppe…oh, Freya; third. Nearly there. Giuseppe; second. Okay, so Jurgen comes in first. Everybody’s like, wow, this Jurgen is serious. Everybody else that hasn't been doing well is starting to rethink things. For the showstopper they have to do a 3D biscuit toy that has an interactive element. So, a toy you could play with that does something, like…wheels on a car, lights in a dollhouse are the examples, or Action Man. That’s what Matt talks about, Action Man. So, they get ready, they get set, they bake. Maggie’s trying to get back in the game. Prue’s talking about…yeah, you have to…you kinda use a gingerbread to structure it. If it’s too soft it’ll collapse. So, George is doing a airplane with a turning propeller that he used to have in his room. His is…he’s calling Paul and Prue Airlines. His is gonna try to spin, apparently. Lizzie’s gonna do a truck that you could paint, so it’ll come with icing that you can paint with like an art palette.

 

Jairzeno is making a sailing ship with sails and lighted windows, so that looks cool. Maggie’s also doing a beach scene with beach huts and people with toys, like body boards. But she’s like, yeah, back when I was a kid there wasn't a lot of toys, so we had to make…do stuff. They're like, I guess it’s a model, but technically you're not following the instructions. Jurgen also said, yeah, when I was a kid we didn't really have toys, but my grandpa made some windmill toys, a mini Dutch windmill in the garden. So, yeah, I’m gonna do a windmill. So, everybody’s working with this gingerbread except for…Amanda’s working with sugar cookie…or shortbread-type dough. We got a couple…Freya’s doing a hobby horse or a rocking horse out of gingerbread, then Amanda’s doing a carousel-style one, but American sugar cookie biscuits, which they're like, how are you gonna structure it? Well, I’m gonna figure it out. I guess gingerbread’s just harder and more structurally sound.

 

Everybody’s gingerbread’s coming out, and Amanda’s already having trouble right away with keeping even her base together. So, that becomes a thing. Chigs is doing a snooker table that you can actually play with, a gingerbread functional snooker table. Are you any good? Yeah, I used to be. Matt sings him a snooker song. Then Giuseppe’s doing Reversi, and he even talks about the history. It goes back to the 18th century or 19th century, 1800s. Rochica’s doing a jukebox, gingerbread pinball, which is right after my heart, with a marshmallow cereal ball. That sounds great. Crystelle is doing a vanity, like a toy vanity with a makeup kit and stuff, which is popular when I was a kid. Isomalt mirror…so, that’s very collective. Oh, somebody says, yeah, I was raised by pangolins…Matt or Noel. We see Jurgen putting…everybody’s starting their assembly as…after their stuff comes out.

 

Matt pretends Noel is a doll. Everything starts coming together, but obviously everybody’s like, oh boy, is it gonna come together or not? Then they got fifteen minutes left. Amanda’s is just not gonna stay together. Then…but George is also having problems, but…he’s like, I can't get it to spin. But he has time; it’s assembled. So, he keeps working on it and he finally kinda gets it to spin and then fully gets it to spin. Jurgen’s is having trouble coming together. Same with Jairzeno. But Amanda’s having the biggest problem. Hers is just a bit of a mess. So, then we go to the judging. George, his spins. His has candyfloss clouds. Everybody’s like, wow, this is amazing. Design’s good, looks good. Let’s eat it. Nice wing. Not too hard, crisp. Works well. What’s not to like? Then Rochica’s…they're like, this is ingenious. It works, looks good. Of course, Paul breaks it, but…they take a bite. Delicate and thin. Texture’s spot on. Very good. Giuseppe’s looks great. Classic ginger. Quite like it. Cardamom, cloves.

 

Good job. Chigs…Paul is playing it. Very clever. I don't think it has enough balls or something. He has something to say about it. A bit cakey, but…yeah, missing a row of red balls. Lizzie; at first they're like, paint…the fact you can paint it, we thought it would be…thought it’s interesting, but a little gimmicky. A little strong in the flavor. Maybe the icing makes it better. Jurgen’s…they take a look at it. The windmill actually spins. It’s high structure and it’s thin. Looks beautiful. Tastes not overly sweet. Lovely flavor. Nice job. Paul likes speaking German to him. Then we have Chantel. They put a earring on Paul and have a laugh. More like a pirate. They taste it. Lemon and poppy brush; that’s pretty good. Design’s clever. Beautiful. Spot on. Freya’s…beautiful. Love the painting. Hers is vegan, too, I’m pretty sure. Could be a bit softer, but it’s not overly hard. Structurally sound. Thank you very much. Amanda’s fell apart. They say, well, it looks like it could have been beautiful. It’s just too bad.

 

You should have done gingerbread. Let’s see the taste. It was brave, but you shouldn't have chose it. It’s too delicate a biscuit. She’s like, I did it three times before at home. It stayed up. So, yeah. Okay, well, can't go back in time. Maggie’s beach place looks a bit basic. A little thick. Yeah, they taste it. Could have been thinner. Thick and heavy. Need to try harder. Well done. Jairzeno…it looks a little rough and ready. One of your sails is missing. Cargo is loaded. Alright. He says, you're waffling around. Let’s have a taste of the biscuit. Cardamom comes through. Lovely blend. Delicious, but rough and ready. Then they do the talking heads. Jairzeno, he’s a little worried. Amanda’s worried, and Maggie’s worried. But it seemed like, yeah, it was between Maggie and Amanda. Then we go to the table talk. Yeah, okay. It was a good showstopper. Felt bad for Amanda 'cause it tasted good. It was so delicate. Jairzeno…the ship was a mess, but it did taste good. His bakes…he tends to be messy.

 

Then Maggie, she’s not having a good day, and I’m not sure that that was a toy. Star Baker; Jurgen. Giuseppe, maybe. Chigs…okay. What about George? He’s really jumped back into it, so he’s got a good imagination. Concepts are good. He’s just gotta work on his delivery. Wow, have you and George ever met in a past life? Matt says to Prue. Like, have you ever hung out or whatever? I think he’s saying. So, they come back out. Matt gets news of the smartest cookie, a Star Baker, who was Jurgen again, two times in a row. Then Noel has to give out who’s gotta leave, which it really seemed like it was gonna be Maggie. I was like, oh, and it’s Jairzeno. I was like, holy cow. I thought that the taste at the end saved him, but it doesn't. So, he’s…says, well, I was kinda expecting it. It’s too bad. They don't like messy. Amanda’s relieved and so is Maggie. Oh yeah, it’s when she said, I just barely made it through. Giuseppe’s really happy with how things are going. I haven't won it, but I’m doing decent. Jurgen calls his family. No one answers at first, so it’s kinda funny. Then Benjamin answers; hey, I’m Star Baker again. No way. Then his wife gets on, I think. She says, really? My goodness. Yeah. So, kinda sweet moment to end it out, and yeah, that’s the end of the episode. Goodnight, everybody.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

 

Great British Bake You Off to Sleep

 

History of the Logging Industry

https://www.cherryoutlet.net/history-of-the-logging-industry-in-the-united-states/

https://www.nps.gov/piro/learn/historyculture/logging-history.htm

https://www.nwcouncil.org/reports/columbia-river-history/logging/

 

Action Man

https://actionman.com/history.php

https://www.actionmanhq.co.uk/pages/history.php

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9wx0jjq1jqo

 

Snooker

https://www.wst.tv/wpbsa/history-of-snooker/

https://thesportsreviewer.com/the-history-of-snooker-from-its-origins-to-modern-times/

https://www.wpa-pool.com/the-history-of-snooker/

 

Jammie Dodgers

https://www.fbc-uk.com/brands/jammie-dodgers

https://sauceandbites.com/are-jammie-dodgers-british/

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/jammie-dodgers-name-meaning_uk_6641dc36e4b0c43c96b0f5ab

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Hello bakers

Whether your biscuit is a Noel or a Matt

I’d love to have a Noel on a knoll

This biscuit is jelightful

Jelight

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Health Matters Podcast; Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth; Odoo

 

INTRO

Thoughts that want your attention now

Jostling thoughts

There are perfect times for feelings

But not at bedtime

Other listeners are wishing you well right now

No-pressure gathering in the deep, dark night

Mono-log Monologue

The Lovely Lone Log

Great job retaining water, log

Do logs feel zesty because they’re full of life?

You’re probably thinking, “Wha-wha-what?”

It’s normal to be skeptical and doubtful

This isn’t a point counterpoint situation

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

How long has that website been up? A while, for sure

A really boring seminar

I’ll be talking about Great British Bake Off

No pressure to fall asleep

I hope to provide at least a mild distraction

Your Borefriend’s just here to hang

Explaining the show’s structure

Thanks for coming by

 

STORY

Bake Off C9 E2 – Biscuit Week

Tonight I’ll start with some of the facts

Jam vs Jelly vs Preserves

How much fruit goes in the jar?
How chunky is it?

Jelly is mostly juice

Jam is crushed fruit

What’s preserves, I guess?

Thicker, has pulp and seeds

Jam is the most jiggly

Marmalade is a citrus preserve that can include rind or peel

Fruit butter has not butter! It’s just slow-cooked fruit pulp

Maybe one day I’ll do a Real Time Recipe of my own recipes

Jammy Dodgers and the Artful Dodger

Dodgy slang

Hopefully I can get back to the Dickens Fair in 2026

I keep mixing up my buttercream

Buttercream can mean more than one thing

It can be …dodgy…at a big grocery store

Good shape, but something on the tongue

Meringue and European buttercreams

Egg whites, granulated sugar, and unsalted butter

French buttercream – egg yolks, sugar, syrup, and butter

Flour Frosting, what’s that?

Ganache – chocolate and heavy cream

Who is Action Man?

Similar to GI Joe

I definitely played with dolls as a child and adult

They made him dress more British-ly

12 points of articulation

The original Star Wars figures had less articulation

Soft rubber hands and eagle eyes

It got more Bond style in the 80s

I gotta learn more about this

90s Action Man drinks Mountain Dew

Dutch Windmills

Most mills in Europe ground flour

But in the Netherlands, the mills pumped water

The windmills had to work together to move water up

Dutch windmills used to be octagonal and could rotate to face the wind

I’d love to go on a windmill tour

History of Snooker

British people in India brought it back to England

Sinking a ball is called making a potting

It never caught on in the US because they were developing their own cue-based sports

American cue sports are faster

It’s not all about sinking balls

Othello vs Reversi

Othello was actually inspired by the Shakespeare play?

The goal is to surround and flip the other player’s pieces

I’m learning chess on Duolingo

The most important squares are in the four corners

Explaining pangolins

Hobby horses and rocking horses

Wow, these go all the way back to the Renaissance

Let’s do a runthrough of the episode now

A cold open that I mentioned in my cold open

Noel and Matt as a biscuit and wafer cookie

Paul eats Matt

Talking Heads

Signature Challenge – 24 brandy snaps

We call these lace cookies in the US

Lizzie – Apple Pie, golden arches style

Crystelle is also doing apple pie

Maggie – traditional brandy snap with black currant chantilly

Some sort of caramel

George is making a Greek version with orange blossom and pistachio

Amanda’s done a bunch of practice cooking on the hob

Her daughter is also named Sophia

Open Sesame Style

Freya – coffee liqueur and hazelnut praline

Freya likes riding her horse on the beach

Rochica – mocha with Irish cream (from Ibiza)

Chigs – espresso martini brandy snaps

They go in the oven

Oh, they become lacy when they bake

Jairzinho – chocolate, pineapple, passionfruit brandy snaps

Making their mix-ins

Oh boy, hello apple crumble

Lizzie’s is more congealed

Jurgen – chai creme pate

Giuseppe – hazelnut butter, chocolate creme pate

He’s got baked hazelnuts

Final assembly

These all look pretty appetizing

And there’s extras, which must’ve been nice

Judgment Time

Freya – good snap, nice flavor, too much coffee

Amanda – delicate, falling apart, great flavor

Jairzinho – rushed, surprising flavor

Rochica – not uniform, boozy

George – a bit irregular, good crunch, nice flavor, but a mess

Crystelle – lovely snap, great flavor, good job

Lizzie – claggy, congealed, lovely mouthful

Giuseppe – pretty, uniform, elegant, delicious, crisp, lose the chocolate flavor

Chigs – nice and lacy, not enough coffee flavor

Maggie – small, soggy, delicious

Jurgen – lovely, thin, nice and even, something is overwhelming, very delicious

Technical Challenge

Hint: Read the recipe

Sandwich Jammy Biscuits – 12 of them

They have to be spot-on

Chilled dough

Simple, lovely biscuit

I assume Paul made these samples

Time starts running out

Put your biscuit behind your piscuit

Judgment

Maggie – lost definition, bad look

Jairzinho – lost shape, flat

Amanda – proper shortbread

Lizzie – underbaked

Chigs – consistent, no definition, lovely biscuit

Jurgen – refined, good definition, nice

Freya – thick, too much jam, too sweet

Chantelle – overboiled jam

George – not chilled properly

Rochica – raw

Giuseppe – thin, good flavors

Rochica is last

Jurgen comes in first

Jurgen’s a serious competitor

Showstopper Challenge

3D biscuit toy with an interactive element

Matt proposes a biscuit Action Man

Gingerbread for structure

George – airplane with a turning propeller

Lizzie – truck that you can paint

Jairzinho – sailing ship with sails and lighted windows

Maggie – beach scene with toys

Jurgen’s grandpa made windmill toys when he was a child

Amanda is making sugar cookies, not gingerbread

Freya – hobby / rocking horse

Amanda – carousel

Amanda is already having trouble

Chigs – snooker table that you can play with

Matt sings a snooker song

Giuseppe – Reversi board game

Rochica – gingerbread pinball with marshmallow cereal ball

Crystelle – toy vanity with a makeup kit

Isomalt Mirror

Assembly begins

Amanda’s is just a mess

Judgment

George – it spins, impressive candy floss clouds, crisp

Rochica – ingenious, great texture

Giuseppe – looks great, great flavor

Chigs – clever, a bit cakey

Lizzie – gimmicky, strong flavor

Jurgen – it spins! Lovely flavor

Paul likes speaking German to Jurgen

Chantelle – they put an earring on Paul, clever design

Freya – hers is Vegan, not overly hard, structurally sound

Amanda – fell apart, bold, but too delicate

Maggie – a bit basic

Jairzinho – rough and ready, lovely blend

Jairzinho, Amanda, and Maggie are worried

Table Talk

Jurgen wins Star Baker two times in a row

I really thought Maggie was going to go

But it’s Jairzinho who’s going home

Giuseppe is really happy with how things are going

Jurgen calls his family

No one answers, but then they finally do

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1471

Title: Biscuit Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C9/S12 E2

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Health Matters Podcast; Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Talkiatry; Quince; DripDrop; Cozy Earth; Odoo

Notable Language:

• Mono-log Monologue
• The Lonely Lone Log
• Wa-Wa-Wonder
• Mrs. Wage’s Pages
• Octagonal
• Some sort of caramel
• Open Sesame Style
• Gingham Mystery
• Put your biscuit behind your piscuit
• Isomalt Mirror

 

Notable Culture:

• • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • Great British Bake Off
  • Smucker’s

• Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens

• • Jammy Dodgers
  • Dickens Fair
  • Action Man

• Star Wars

• • Mountain Dew
  • Othello board game
  • Reversi board game

• Othello – William Shakespeare

• Duolingo
• Pangolins
• Brandy Snaps
• McDonald’s

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts that want your attention now
• Jostling thoughts
• There are perfect times for feelings
• But not at bedtime
• Other listeners are wishing you well right now
• No-pressure gathering in the deep, dark night
• Mono-log Monologue
• The Lovely Lone Log
• Great job retaining water, log
• Do logs feel zesty because they’re full of life?
• You’re probably thinking, “Wha-wha-what?”
• It’s normal to be skeptical and doubtful
• This isn’t a point counterpoint situation
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• How long has that website been up? A while, for sure
• A really boring seminar
• I’ll be talking about Great British Bake Off
• No pressure to fall asleep
• I hope to provide at least a mild distraction
• Your Borefriend’s just here to hang
• Explaining the show’s structure
• Thanks for coming by
• Bake Off C9 E2 – Biscuit Week
• Tonight I’ll start with some of the facts
• Jam vs Jelly vs Preserves
• How much fruit goes in the jar?
  How chunky is it?
• Jelly is mostly juice
• Jam is crushed fruit
• What’s preserves, I guess?
• Thicker, has pulp and seeds
• Jam is the most jiggly
• Marmalade is a citrus preserve that can include rind or peel
• Fruit butter has not butter! It’s just slow-cooked fruit pulp
• Maybe one day I’ll do a Real Time Recipe of my own recipes
• Jammy Dodgers and the Artful Dodger
• Dodgy slang
• Hopefully I can get back to the Dickens Fair in 2026
• I keep mixing up my buttercream
• Buttercream can mean more than one thing
• It can be …dodgy…at a big grocery store
• Good shape, but something on the tongue
• Meringue and European buttercreams
• Egg whites, granulated sugar, and unsalted butter
• French buttercream – egg yolks, sugar, syrup, and butter
• Flour Frosting, what’s that?
• Ganache – chocolate and heavy cream
• Who is Action Man?
• Similar to GI Joe
• I definitely played with dolls as a child and adult
• They made him dress more British-ly
• 12 points of articulation
• The original Star Wars figures had less articulation
• Soft rubber hands and eagle eyes
• It got more Bond style in the 80s
• I gotta learn more about this
• 90s Action Man drinks Mountain Dew
• Dutch Windmills
• Most mills in Europe ground flour
• But in the Netherlands, the mills pumped water
• The windmills had to work together to move water up
• Dutch windmills used to be octagonal and could rotate to face the wind
• I’d love to go on a windmill tour
• History of Snooker
• British people in India brought it back to England
• Sinking a ball is called making a potting
• It never caught on in the US because they were developing their own cue-based sports
• American cue sports are faster
• It’s not all about sinking balls
• Othello vs Reversi
• Othello was actually inspired by the Shakespeare play?
• The goal is to surround and flip the other player’s pieces
• I’m learning chess on Duolingo
• The most important squares are in the four corners
• Explaining pangolins
• Hobby horses and rocking horses
• Wow, these go all the way back to the Renaissance
• Let’s do a runthrough of the episode now
• A cold open that I mentioned in my cold open
• Noel and Matt as a biscuit and wafer cookie
• Paul eats Matt
• Talking Heads
• Signature Challenge – 24 brandy snaps
• We call these lace cookies in the US
• Lizzie – Apple Pie, golden arches style
• Crystelle is also doing apple pie
• Maggie – traditional brandy snap with black currant chantilly
• Some sort of caramel
• George is making a Greek version with orange blossom and pistachio
• Amanda’s done a bunch of practice cooking on the hob
• Her daughter is also named Sophia
• Open Sesame Style
• Freya – coffee liqueur and hazelnut praline
• Freya likes riding her horse on the beach
• Rochica – mocha with Irish cream (from Ibiza)
• Chigs – espresso martini brandy snaps
• They go in the oven
• Oh, they become lacy when they bake
• Jairzinho – chocolate, pineapple, passionfruit brandy snaps
• Making their mix-ins
• Oh boy, hello apple crumble
• Lizzie’s is more congealed
• Jurgen – chai creme pate
• Giuseppe – hazelnut butter, chocolate creme pate
• He’s got baked hazelnuts
• Final assembly
• These all look pretty appetizing
• And there’s extras, which must’ve been nice
• Judgment Time
• Freya – good snap, nice flavor, too much coffee
• Amanda – delicate, falling apart, great flavor
• Jairzinho – rushed, surprising flavor
• Rochica – not uniform, boozy
• George – a bit irregular, good crunch, nice flavor, but a mess
• Crystelle – lovely snap, great flavor, good job
• Lizzie – claggy, congealed, lovely mouthful
• Giuseppe – pretty, uniform, elegant, delicious, crisp, lose the chocolate flavor
• Chigs – nice and lacy, not enough coffee flavor
• Maggie – small, soggy, delicious
• Jurgen – lovely, thin, nice and even, something is overwhelming, very delicious
• Technical Challenge
• Hint: Read the recipe
• Sandwich Jammy Biscuits – 12 of them
• They have to be spot-on
• Chilled dough
• Simple, lovely biscuit
• I assume Paul made these samples
• Time starts running out
• Put your biscuit behind your piscuit
• Judgment
• Maggie – lost definition, bad look
• Jairzinho – lost shape, flat
• Amanda – proper shortbread
• Lizzie – underbaked
• Chigs – consistent, no definition, lovely biscuit
• Jurgen – refined, good definition, nice
• Freya – thick, too much jam, too sweet
• Chantelle – overboiled jam
• George – not chilled properly
• Rochica – raw
• Giuseppe – thin, good flavors
• Rochica is last
• Jurgen comes in first
• Jurgen’s a serious competitor
• Showstopper Challenge
• 3D biscuit toy with an interactive element
• Matt proposes a biscuit Action Man
• Gingerbread for structure
• George – airplane with a turning propeller
• Lizzie – truck that you can paint
• Jairzinho – sailing ship with sails and lighted windows
• Maggie – beach scene with toys
• Jurgen’s grandpa made windmill toys when he was a child
• Amanda is making sugar cookies, not gingerbread
• Freya – hobby / rocking horse
• Amanda – carousel
• Amanda is already having trouble
• Chigs – snooker table that you can play with
• Matt sings a snooker song
• Giuseppe – Reversi board game
• Rochica – gingerbread pinball with marshmallow cereal ball
• Crystelle – toy vanity with a makeup kit
• Isomalt Mirror
• Assembly begins
• Amanda’s is just a mess
• Judgment
• George – it spins, impressive candy floss clouds, crisp
• Rochica – ingenious, great texture
• Giuseppe – looks great, great flavor
• Chigs – clever, a bit cakey
• Lizzie – gimmicky, strong flavor
• Jurgen – it spins! Lovely flavor
• Paul likes speaking German to Jurgen
• Chantelle – they put an earring on Paul, clever design
• Freya – hers is Vegan, not overly hard, structurally sound
• Amanda – fell apart, bold, but too delicate
• Maggie – a bit basic
• Jairzinho – rough and ready, lovely blend
• Jarizinho, Amanda, and Maggie are worried
• Table Talk
• Jurgen wins Star Baker two times in a row
• I really thought Maggie was going to go
• But it’s Jairzinho who’s going home
• Giuseppe is really happy with how things are going
• Jurgen calls his family
• No one answers, but then they finally do