1454 – Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy | Bored Game Unboxing

Episode 1454 – Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy | Bored Game Unboxing

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff and help put you to sleep, to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and help you out where I can. This show is very different. If you're new, I’m so glad you're here. By the way, I’m glad you're here. This podcast is a bit different. But I’m still glad you're here. Alls I want to do is help you out, whether it’s putting you to sleep or keeping you company or putting a mild smile on your face, or knowing someone’s there for you in the deep, dark night. I’m here to try to help you if I can in a very indirect and meandering way. So, I’m really glad you're here for the show. Most people say to try the show two or three tries. I’ll talk a little bit more about that later. What we got coming up is support, and supporting the show is really optional, or there’s…for people that benefit from the podcast.

 

So, if you're new, you could support the show just by listening two or three tries and seeing if you like the show or not. If you listen occasionally or from time to time when you're having a tough time, you only listen to the show then, you could follow it in your podcast app, you could tell other people about the podcast. If you can't afford to support the show or you choose not to support the show directly, yeah, you could spread the word about the podcast. You could join our referral live streams at sleepwithmepodcast.com/refer. But you don't really need to do anything. But if the podcast changes your life in a positive way on a regular basis, we really could use your support in all those ways I listed; following the show on your podcast apps, you know, commenting or saying nice stuff, spreading the word. But also, yeah, if you listen night after night, episode after episode, we really could use your support either through the show…supporting the show directly or through one of these sponsors so we can be here for you. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna…what I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts you're thinking about, feelings, any feelings coming up related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be getting over something. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it so you could fall asleep, which is a little bit different, right? I’m here…it’s…I don't know. The show is a little bit different.

 

But I run through some of the stuff that might be keeping you awake. Maybe you work a different schedule. Maybe you are in…just in the middle of a tough time. Maybe you're travelling or have guests. Maybe I already listed that. Maybe you're tired of repetition. Whatever it is, you're not alone. That’s the message I try to get through with this show. There’s someone else out there listening to this show right now, and then there’s a lot of other people out there that really get that…what it feels like and the fact that it’s like, man, I’d rather just be able to go to bed, close my eyes, and go to sleep than have to deal with all this other stuff, and it really feels unfair and I don't like it, and I’ve tried all these other things. There’s someone else out there…whatever that is sounds like for you, your version of it, what you're facing, what brought you here, there’s other people listening around the world who have been there or have been somewhere closely similar.

 

Not only are they seeing you and nodding with you; they're wishing you well, and they're hopeful that this…finding this show has sent you on the road to finding something that’s gonna be a part of a nice bedtime routine for you. Whether it’s Sleep With Me or something else, they're hopeful, they're rooting for you, because if they're a regular listener, they found the show and they were like, this could not possibly work. Then on the second or third try, they were like, I had no idea something like this could even exist or help me, but I’ve been looking for this my whole life. I just didn't know it. So, I’m hopeful for you, they're hopeful for you. Plus, they get the positive feeling that maybe you have one day of doing your wind-down routine or being in bed and thinking of someone else out there in the world that struggles like you have struggled before and that you could wish them well across the deep, dark night. ‘Cause that’s really the essence of the show.

 

I just get to be the person rambling on and on and on. The true energy of the podcast is that, and the fact that…the thing behind it is everybody deserves a bedtime where they could get the rest they need so their life is more manageable, like a bedtime without rigmarole, right, a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about and say, well, at least I got that podcast guy, or that podcast I didn't like introduced me to one I do like. So, yeah, that’s why I’m glad you're here. Now, this show, as I said, is very different. It just takes two or three tries to get used to the show because at first you're probably skeptical, you're probably doubtful, maybe you tried a bunch of different stuff or you listened to other sleep podcasts or sleep audio and you said, huh, this show is not like that stuff, or this isn't what I expected. Yeah, that’s kinda what works about this show.

 

Now, it doesn't work for everybody, but even the people that support the show and have supported it for years, they said at first they weren't sure about it, the first two or three tries. So, alls I can say is give it two or three tries. If it doesn't work out or you're already certain the show is not for you, we have a website set up; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothanks, and that has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. So, if you don't like me or you find…oh, I tried it two or three times and it’s not gonna be for me, don't worry. Check that website out. It’s got tons of great stuff on there. Now, the way the show works…did I already say this? I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I think I forgot that part. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I even forget the structure sometimes. But I do all of it to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep.

 

But this is a podcast that you kinda…you don't listen to so much directly. It’s like a podcast you kinda just barely listen to. So, it’s kinda like a out-of-focus picture or a TV on in the other room or a show streaming under your pillow, like sand streaming through your hands, or a boring friend that you get to talk to. You say, hey, can you tell me about something? Like, go through the last few board games or card games you got, and just…why don't you open up the card games and then try to guess what the rules are? You say, huh. They say, oh, no problem. You want me to do it for…? Oh yeah, if you could do it for an hour, that’d be great. But don't make it…make sure it’s not…oh no, it won't be interesting at all. So, yeah, that’s what this particular episode will be. So, no problem. But we put out tons of different styles of episodes so you have a variety of stuff to barely listen to. But that just takes some practice. You can listen, but you don't need to listen.

 

The reason you can listen is 'cause even though this is a sleep podcast, there’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s a specific reason all our episodes are over an hour. It takes more effort to do that, but that…that’s why the shows are over an hour, because…so you don't have to think, I gotta be asleep in twenty minutes? The episode’s gonna be over. What am I gonna do then? Don't worry, I’ll be here, over an hour, and I’ll be here not to put you to sleep but to keep you company and distract you versus putting you to sleep, 'cause there’s people listening right now who can't sleep at all, who need a break during the day, who just woke up, just got off work, and they work a different shift, whatever it is, or they’re going through such a tough time they can't sleep. I’m here to keep them company and you company to the very end, or if you're in that group, you. I’m here to keep you company. That way you don't have to…you can listen to me, but you don't have to listen to me, or you don't need to listen to me, or there’s no ‘shoulds’.

 

That’s the problem with sleep, is there’s so many shoulds, and none of those shoulds ever help me out. So, yeah, my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, chairman of the boreds, Boris Borelaf, bore-bie, boreman, neighbore, bore-bor, yeah, your friend to hang out with you whether you're paying attention to me or not. That’s what a bore-friend does. I’m just here for you as a friendly voice. Now, what else? Oh, structure of the show is the other thing I like to run through. Just in case you're new and you're like, why is the show structured the way it is, that’s a pretty good question. It’s a pretty common question. Sometimes I’m met with…it is a question that people answer for themselves very sternly. So, I like to answer it for you, too. The reason we structure the show the way we do is we’ve been making it twelve years, and this is the way we’ve found that benefits the maximum amount of people this show can benefit, you know?

 

‘Cause it isn't for everybody, but I hope it’s for you. So, the show starts off with a greeting. That’s the first thing. You say…you get greeted. It’s friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, okay, I might check this show out. Then there’s support so that paying for it’s optional, because if you had to pay for it first, you definitely wouldn't want to give it two or three tries. There’s just people that don't listen all the time who aren't in a position to pay for it versus buying a audiobook or paying for a paid audiobook service. Podcasts are available free on every platform, and that’s because of the listener support and the sponsor support, which comes after the…what do you call that? The greeting. Then after the support, totally separate from the support, is a show within a show, which is a intro to the podcast. That’s where I try to introduce what the podcast is, but it takes me fifteen to twenty minutes.

 

But every intro is new, but it follows a familiar structure. That way you get something new every time, you get variety, but it’s also familiar. That’s just what I know works for me personally and the people that listen to the show. If this show was…didn’t have variety between the styles of episodes we do, between the intros, between the tangents…like, if every intro was the same, like I just reused the intros or said the same thing for five minutes, I don't know, whatever keeps me awake and a lot of listeners awake would be like, hey, just so you know, I know he’s gonna say this next. I mean, listeners know…regular listeners know I’ll say creaky, dulcet tones at…oh, I was at a creek yesterday, like a seasonal creek. Talk about a pointless meander out of a creaky, dulcet tone. I was at a creeky, creek. I did a on-location episode about it, but I don't know when that’ll come out. But yeah, I was at this creaky, dulcet…this creeky creek that’s seasonal.

 

I didn't even think…so, it’s November and it has already snowed and rained. But even when it rained, the creek bed was totally dry. Well, yeah, I mean, I wasn't…I’ve only been here in the fall rain. So, I don't know about the summer rain stuff. But I went running there yesterday, and that creek was churning. It was…I was like, wow, that creek’s churning. You know what I said to myself? Wow, that creek’s a-churning. So, that’s a example. I mean, I could talk about the creek and creaky, dulcet tones forever. But yeah, that’s something familiar but something new every time to help you out. The intro also serves another purpose; it’s why it’s over ten minutes long, is to ease you into bedtime. So, the intro is not designed to put you to sleep. It does put a small percentage of people to sleep, and if it does, please support the show, 'cause if you fall asleep fast, we really need you to support the show. Now I’m laughing but I’m not joking. Just the irony. But it’s not meant to put you to sleep.

 

If it does, it’s okay, but we could use your support. But it’s meant to ease you into bedtime. So, most people are getting ready for bed, they're in bed getting comfortable, they're petting their pets, they're doing some chill wind-down activity, and that’s because what works for me most of the time is having a wind-down routine and also having something nice at bedtime to look forward to, or a few different things, like helping my dog get comfortable, and then I lie next to her. I do a little…yeah, I do a couple things, and then I read my book. So, I have things I look forward to no matter how I’m feeling about sleep that I like that ease me into bedtime, and that works most of the time. That’s what most studies have said works for most people. Not everybody. Some people prefer the story-only versions of the show that you can get on Sleep With Me+, or Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me is in every podcast app. But the intro is a buffer between being awake and asleep.

 

Then after the intro will be support, and then after the support will be about forty-five, fifty, to fifty-five minutes of me talking about some card games from someplace I’ve been supporting on Patreon that I’ve talked about for…in a bunch of other episodes, my favorite card…board game company. Inexpensive Bottom Games is not their official title, but that’s…anyway. So, yeah, I’m glad you're here. I work really hard on the show, and we love making it, me and everybody else. We yearn and strive to help you fall asleep. Like I said earlier, if you want to support the show back…like, if you're new, just give it a few tries and see how it goes. If you're somewhat new, just be kind. Not even to me, but to yourself at bedtime. You could follow the show on your podcast app of choice. That way you know when new episodes come out. Build playlists, use your sleep timer, check out different podcast apps, find one that really works for you.

 

If you're not in a position to support the show — sorry, I misspoke some words there — or you want the lowest-impact way to support the show other than following it in a podcast app, it’s to spread the word about the podcast. Let somebody know about it in person, online. You could join our referral livestreams at sleepwithmepodcast.com/refer, and if the show changes your life on a regular basis and you are in a position where you could support the show, if it consistently makes your life better, consider one of these ways of supporting the show, whether it’s supporting a sponsor or supporting the show directly. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is a card game unboxing episode here, and some of the games I’m gonna be doing are based on somebody I support on Patreon, Crabby Fragment Labs, which is tabletop games by James Ernest, who I became aware of, if you've heard a lot of this, because I discovered Inexpensive Bottom Games once upon a time. Let me read their About page on Patreon here. Crabby Fragment Labs is a design studio of game inventor James Ernest, who are also the home of Inexpensive Bottom Games. James’ vast catalog of quirky tabletop games…what could go better with Sleep With Me? This means all of James Ernest’s original games are together under one roof. Many of the games are available as free print-and-play versions as well as print-on-demand versions from Drive-Through Cards. If you like our games, especially if you play our games, we’d love to have you support as a backer here.

 

Since launching Crab Fragment Games in 2019, James Ernest has created more than fifty new games, almost one every month. Some are quick, abstract games and variance for our miscellaneous, traditional-style card decks, while others are fully-fledged board games that spend months in open beta. This was the big news last year…this year, actually. Well, last year for you. In 2025 we reacquired the rights to Inexpensive Bottom Games and are slowly integrating that catalog, more than a hundred games, into the company. Be sure to check out Inexpensive Bottom Park for a list of games we brought back. So, I support a level that’s worth it for me, because they send out a game every month. So, I’m gonna start with a game. The first game I got we had already done, but this game is called Before…oh, so, these are games I’ve never played before, too. So, this one is a card game I’ve never played before. I don't know if it has instructions, which may make it even better.

 

Before…and remember, I also make things sleepy. But this is a game about those movies with James of…James Bond. Before I Dance With You, Mister Spy. It’s a card game for two to six people who spend their time…what is the right word we're looking for? In opposition. What are they called? But they spend their time trying to make movie-star-level espionage people, and they want to dance with them. On the front of the box…it’s a regular-size deck of cards box. It has someone who looks like they could be asking that person to dance. There’s a Inexpensive Game logo, then there’s another character kinda going undercover on one side, and then another character on the other side in a ball gown. Then on the back, it’s thirty minutes, two to six plairs. On the back it says, decide. You've just invited the famous spy, and you could dance with him easily. But at first you want to tell him your life story, because he’s the only person who could really understand.

 

So, Before I Dance With You, Mister Spy is a classic Inexpensive Bottom card game. It has places to hide, thirsty dancers, and movie-level espionage. Alright, so now I’m gonna open the card box. Alright, so, I’ve opened the box, and there’s one card that talks about the components that…from the printer. So, I think that’s just a extra card. Let me count the total cards. There’s two different backs to the cards. One is a blueprint. It looks like about sixty percent of the cards have that. It says, Before I Ask You to Dance, Mister Spy. Oh, it’s more of a blue wallpaper, mid-century modern. Then the other is more of a peach mid-century-modern wallpaper, a little bit more funky. It also says the same thing. Okay, so, let’s count each…let’s separate them into decks even if I’m not sure we have to. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six.

 

So, that’s half of a regular deck, right? Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three. Well, that’s interesting. Okay, and then we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-two. Okay, so, let’s look at the twenty-two cards first and see. Okay, the first one we have is a 7 Jack of Destiny, who is a S-P-Y. He’s wearing a blue tuxedo and he’s holding some sort of Palm Pilot or something. Then we have a 6, who is also a spy, Odessa Goodwyn. Her hands are on her hips. Oh, so Jack Destiny and Odessa look like they were on a TV show or somewhat, that was I think in the seventies or the sixties. It was a British show that became…that has the same title as one of the groups that’s a big star of a lot of the Marvel movies, or was, like Le van jants, we’ll just say in fake French. Okay, this one’s also a 6. So, I don't know if 6 is the level of experience, like 006.

 

There’s two 006. This person’s dressed business casual. They have a sport coat, a sweater, or a t-shirt, loose-fitting slacks, sensible shoes. Ferguson Lee. He has his hand on his chin like…he’s like, I’m wondering what’s going on. Then we have a 5. She’s in a spacesuit with a water-squirter or maybe some sort of space squirter, a very modern spacesuit, and she’s holding her helmet, so we can see her hair. She has a kinda look in her eye. She’s looking at us sideways. She’s 005 1, Gillian Styles. Then we have 005 2. He’s on a mobile phone from the seventies or eighties. His name is Friedrich Von Smythe. He’s in a little bit of a action pose talking on the phone. I just tried to zoom in with my thumbs even though these are cards to see what was in his left hand. Maybe he’s not…he’s just holding it. He’s also in a blue tuxedo, different lapels than Jack Destiny, though. That’s Friedrich Von Smythe. Okay, then we have 5, Daforest Washington.

 

He’s definitely…he has a very…he’s very muscular, and he is standing in a pre-action pose looking, checking…he’s not…he’s looking at something. He’s wearing one of those things that you do see in these movies, which is a sweater…what’s that thing called? Turtleneck sweater, like a ribbed turtleneck sweater. Like, you'd see him…maybe he’s gonna be on the seaside or something, and then sensible blue pants or jeans. Then we have 4…oh, and she was also on the cover. Security Jones? Security Jones. Her hands are on her hips. She’s in a formal gown and she’s ready. Security Jones, 4. Also has matching loop earrings. Okay, that’s 004, 1, right? 004, 2, Peppermint York. She has lime-green shoes, a lime-green blouse and jacket, and then a yellow…a long skirt with a yellow ribbon, necca ribbon? I don't know what you'd call it. One of her hands is in her pocket or behind her back, so she’s kinda playing sly. That’s Peppermint York, 004, 2. Oh, funny; this one’s a little bit of a homage.

 

This is 4, 004. 004, 3, right? His name is Jay Robert Lucky, which is just funny 'cause a lot of the games are based on Mr. Lucky or whatever. Games do have some luck. He’s a gentleman. He’s in a overcoat. He has a walking stick, and his hands are behind his back. Then we have 004, 4? Is that right? Yeah, 004, 4, Johnny Que Serrat. You say, holy cow, this guy is suave, I would say. His hair is blowing in the breeze. He has a martini shaker and then a martini glass. He has green slacks and then a open shirt, a long-sleeve…not a blouse, but a dress shirt that’s open at the chest, and he’s saying, you caught me with my drink. Or, my…this drink? It’s for me or is it for you? I’m Johnny Que Serrat. Que sera, sera. He may be a spy. He may be. Okay, then we have Marion Bright. She’s the first 3. So, 003, 1. Marion Bright. She’s undercover. You wouldn't know she was a spy. She has matching reds and oranges. She has a sensible hat on and then a sensible dress with color blocking and matching shoes. Marion Bright.

 

All is…these are funny. Marion Bright…it’s kinda like license plates. Next up is 003, 2, Jessica Beach. Jessica Beach. Jessica Beach; I don't know if that’s one…Marion Bright; that got me. Odessa Goodwyn…Odessa Goodwyn. Some of them I can't get, just like license plates. Jessica Beach, though, is ready for swimming or going under. In her picture she’s got…what are those called? Flippers? They call them flippers, flippers. But the future’s not ours, you see? Whatever…oh no, that’s que serrat. They call…I mixed the two songs up. They actually kinda mixed well. But she’s in a water action pose. That’s Jessica Beach. Okay, next up is someone, and they're wearing a tuxedo. It doesn't quite fit them. Long…what are those called? Like long tails, and they're pretending they’re Groucho Marx. That’s Hillary Descent. Hillary Descent, or Hillary Decent. Hillary Decent. Hillary Decent; Hillary Descent. I don't know. That’s 003, 3 or 2, maybe. I think 3. 003, 4, Donny Waite. Donny Waite.

 

Donny Waite? I don't know. Donny…who’s Donny, you say? He’s 3, the fourth or the fifth 3. He’s in a casual…he’s like in the eighties posing for a Van Hughston photo…Van Heusen photo shoot. So, he has a hand in his pocket, he’s got maroon slacks on, and a orange polo-type shirt. Could be velour. Then he has a jacket slung over his shoulder with one finger holding the jacket. He’s like, I’m casual, man. It’s casual Friday somewhere, Donny Waite says. Next up we have 3, Christopher Zang. Christopher Zang. He’s kinda…looks a little bit scientific, but like a professor. He’s holding either a cup or a bag of peanuts. Tough for me to tell since these are paper. I can't scroll on them or zoom. He has his hand in his pocket, a different pocket than Donny Waite or whatever. He has on a deep-red, rose shirt, a lavender tie, and then a brown sport coat, and orange-ish…natural orange hair, which we would say is red hair. But somehow the look works for him. He’s Christopher Zang.

 

Okay, so now we're into 2, Sonia Locke. Sonia Locke. Sonia Locke is in a full… I don't know if it’s…if it goes down to your ankles, it is a parka still or a long coat? But she’s…has that, and she has a puffy collar — so, she’s somewhere where it’s very cool — and a hat to keep her warm. That’s Sonia Locke, 002, 1. 002, 2 is Salma, S-A-L-M-A Tanner, Salma Tanner. Salma Tanner. She’s turning and looking at us over her shoulder. She’s dressed in red but she has a white collar and white cuffs and glasses. So, she’s kinda…she’s alluring, and she has top-secret paperwork in her arms. She’s saying, who, me? I’m Salma Tanner, Salma Tanner. Okay, next one is Mark McCalendar. Mark McCalendar. I got that one. So, the easy ones I can get. Mark McCalendar. Hardy, har. That one made me laugh. I mean, are they all puns or is it just…? But he’s soaking wet. So, he just came out of the water, though he does have something to…and he has a tuxedo on but black pants, a white shirt, blue cummerbund, and a undone blue bow-tie.

 

He’s saying, hey, mark my calendar. Hello. Okay, now we have an 8 in here. So, this is an 8. I think that’s the highest number we’ve seen. That’s Maxine Kelly. Maxine Kelly. Maxine Kelly. I don't think it’s a pun. Maxine Kelly. She is 8. She’s in…she has long…are they shoulder gloves? Elbow gloves? What do you call it when you're wearing long, white gloves that go above your elbow? She is adjusting her summer hat, and then she has kind of a summer dress on. She’s saying, I’m fixing my hat. I’m Maxine Kelly. Maxine Kelie? Maxine Kelie. Maxine Kelie; Maxine Kelly. She was a 008. Oh wow, now we have some nicknames or just this one person has a nickname? 2. He’s another 2. He’s in full stealth gear. He could go in the water, maybe. He was also on the cover of the box. The Invincible Sarno. Oh, so kinda like…the Invincible Sarno. Invincible Sarno. He’s the Invincible Sarno, 002… something. Then we have 2, Baxter Green. Baxter Green. Baxter Green. Baxter Green. I don't know. He’s kinda hard-boiled.

 

He’s got a raincoat on. Looks like a red blazer, orange tie. He’s got a serious look on his face. He looks like he’s from a hard-boiled novel. Finally we have 2, Alma Rousseau. Alma Rousseau. Alma Rousseau. All my Rousseau? All my Rousseau? Alma Rousseau. Alma’s dressed…she has a beret. She has red boots that go up to her calf. I don't know what those are called, either. Then she has a dress. So, she’s looking at us over her shoulder, but she’s…she’s in the middle of doing something. So, she’s like, don't mess it up. Okay, so we have…these are the cards. I don't know if these are your characters or the people you're trying to dance with, but they definitely have different rankings, and they're rare. So, there’s only one 8, there’s one 7, two 6s, three 5s, four 4s, five 3s, and six 2s. So, I guess you could get…I don't know, maybe you get lucky and you get…or you try to combine two people. Or if you're up against it, then maybe you have to come up with that. Like I said, I don't know what the thing is, right?

 

Okay, these next ones…I’m just gonna kinda go through them. Okay, so, they have different letters on them. Oh wait…oh no, there’s also…okay, so, there’s two different sets of cards coming up. So, we’ll start with these blue ones. These are called La Lair, or you could also be known as the Hideout, you know? La Lair or the Hideout. These also have numbers. So, 4…so, there’s four…there are 4s, 3s, and 2s. So, I don't know if they're point totals or what. The styling of these pages is like blueprints for La La…La Lair, the Hideout. Okay, this one is a fish tank, and it has different things to make it look like a fish tank. Next up also a 4; Lady Witchbeard’s Island. Lady Witchbeard’s Island, where pirates go to retire, an island of retired pirates. Oh, this one’s funny 'cause it’s spelled out. I really like this. 4 lair; Secret Laboratory. Another 4; Clone Factory. That’s a factory that’s been cloned, a clone factory. Clone Factory; that’s 4. The last 4…this is…Cavern of Woe. That’s funny. Cavern of Woe. That’s 4.

 

Alright, now we get into 3s. We got Radar-Jamming Gizmo. That’s one of the 3s. Next 3 is a Plot Device, some sort of device that’s essential to the plot, a plot device. 3; Dancing Shoes. Even though these are La Lairs, this La Lair…something about it has dancing shoes. Next 3 lair; Hall of Magnets. I think that…doesn't…what do you call it? Don't tourist areas have a Hall of Magnets? Have you been to the Hall of Magnets? Yeah, my cards don't work anymore. Been to the Hall of Magnets. 3…last 3, Code-Breaking Thing. Last 3 is a code-breaking thing. That’s 3; Code-Breaking Thing. Okay, 2…now we’re into the 2s. Underground Spa. That’s a 2. It has a rubber ducky on it. The next 2 is a Thermal Teleduplicator. 2; Thermal Teleduplicator. Next 2; Moist Bar. A Moist Bar. I don't know what that is, but…like a wet…oh, a wet bar. That’s funny. 2…these are I guess features in your lair, right? You’d have…say, well, I have a wet bar or you have Gourmet Coffee. That’s the next 2. Gourmet Coffee.

 

Adorable Pet; that’s the next 2. Adorable Pet. It has a dog with its tongue out. It’s got that look on its face. That’s it. So, something about these…you could total it up. So, I guess if your lair is 6, like you had two good lair cards, or 7, then you kinda… maybe you go against the 7? Maybe? I don't know. I’m sure it’s not that simple, right? Okay, these next cards are H…let’s see, ABCD? Yeah. So, we got A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I. These are taunt cards. I don't understand it, but…'cause I don't know the game. But this one has a super computer on it. So, this is taunt card I. It has a super computer and it says, wait, what’s that music, ice cream? So, that’s a taunt. I don't know. So, this must be essential to the game somehow. Okay, next up is H. H taunt. It’s someone standing there with their hand on their hip. I shall give you one last opportunity to divulge what they believe I think they know. I shall give you one last opportunity to divulge what they think…what they believe I think they know.

 

What they believe I think they know. That’s H. That would confuse me. Okay, G is a guy standing. He’s holding his lapel. I shall treat you as my honored guest, affording you the same luxuries and escape opportunities as any five-star hotel. Yeah, that’s pretty common in these movies. Okay, F. It has kind of a scientist holding a beaker. I shall reveal the full extent of my dance-off planning. I’ll reveal it as I tell it to my fish if you listen in. That’s F. Oh, now we have some…the person from the cover. She’s in a black-and-white checkered dress. This says, I shall defeat you in the ancient game of egg juggling. The next one…we have a whale there, and…I’ll let you swim with my whales, blithely unaware that all whale tanks have human-sized drains. I shall let you swim with my whales, blithely unaware that all whale tanks have human-sized drains. To get away, basically. Okay, now we have a team of people working together, a scientist and an assistant. This is C.

 

I shall amuse myself by pawing through the contents of your ordinary-looking briefcase. Okay, B. I’m gonna leave you in a room where you could listen in to me explain to my fish the greatest heist of all time that I’m about to perform. I shall let you listen in from a room nearby where I’ll explain to my fish the details of the greatest heist of all time, which I’m…that’s B…I’m about to do. A is allow me to introduce you to my double agent, Enchilada Progress. Enchilada Progress. Enchilada Progress. There’s something in there, Enchilada Progress. Enchilada Progress…Progress. But let me introduce you to my double, Enchilada Progress. Okay, so we have those things, so let me look up the instructions now. Okay…oh, that’s the PDF. I just need the instructions. Rule for the latest version, 2017. Okay, so, let’s see. Okay, the contents of the deck…the deck contains 55 cards, 15 La Lair cards valued at 2 through 4; five of each. These cards grow your La Lair, your Hideout, and make it capable of inviting people to have dance-offs.

 

So, the good thing is 15 plus 18 is 33, so…right? Yeah, 5 plus 3…so, that’s good. Our numbers are correct. 18 taunt cards lettered A through I, two of each. These cards give you a chance to share something personal with the spies you've invited to dance-off prior to them getting…losing the dance-off. They can be played to cancel the taunts of other plairs. Okay, so, something about that…they can interrupt your move. Okay, 22 spy cards valued at 2 through 8, as we counted the numbers. These cards represent your well-meaning but predictable dance-off adversaries who wander through the world, dancing as they please like no one’s watching. You'll note that they…these cards have a different back. This is not a mistake. It makes spies easier to find. Spies are notoriously bad at hiding. That means you should cut the deck with your eyes closed before you deal. Mm-kay, interesting. Okay. Alright, so the…okay, let me zoom in.

 

I’m doing this on my phone, so…okay, before I ask you to dance off with me, Mr. Spy, I’ll explain the rules of this game 'cause I believe you're the only one who will understand. A person who loves the dancing-off in a La Lair, their greatest weakness is the temptation to taunt the spy before the dance-off. Why is it so compelling? You know why. But in this game it’s simply worth more points. Okay, so, setting it up…you shuffle the deck with your eyes closed, or you cut it with your eyes closed. The number of cards varies with the number of plairs. So, two plairs; seven cards. Three plairs; six cards. Four plairs; five. Five plairs; four. Six plairs; three. Oh, interesting. The dealer goes first, then turns proceed to the left. If you play again, pass the deal to the winner. Okay, so, on your turn you draw a card. If the deck is empty, then the game is over. You won't get a turn. Next, you must perform one of these actions or pass. So, you could play a lair card, place a spy on your own lair…okay, so, you must perform one of these actions or pass.

 

Play a La Lair card, play a spy into your La Lair, take a La Lair or Hideout from another player, or take a spy from anywhere and play it if you wish. Wow, so, you can just take cards from other people. Interesting. The details of these actions are explained below. Throughout the game you'll be building up your lair, inviting spies to dance, and then dancing with them. Sometimes you will also taunt those that you're about to dance-off with. Taunting doubles a spy’s point value, but also gives them a chance to escape. As you collect spies, track your score by keeping the spies face-up on the table in a score pile. If you use taunt cards, keep those cards face-down on the spy. This makes it easier for everyone to determine your score without seeing exactly which taunt cards have been played. The object is to be the first player with 33 points or more, or to have a high score when the deck runs out. 33 might sound like a weird score, but with all the point doubling, 33 is a lot harder than 32.

 

Turn details…here’s a description of the details. Okay, play a lair card…La Lair card. Yeah, I like saying both. You play one La Lair card from your hand face-down on the table. As long as it remains face-down, it is a secret La Lair and has a value of 1. Surprise dance-offs; you may play a taunt card as a secret La Lair. This is called a surprise dance-off and is explained later. Okay, you can also play a spy. There are many ways for a spy to stumble into a La Lair. My dance…was my dance hall…my dance halled? No, hall. La Lair…the simplest way is when you place a spy from your own hands into your own La Lair. Okay, this is interesting; you may only do this if your La Lair is strong enough for the spy to be there. Adding all your lair cards together, the value of your lair must be at least as large as the value of your spy. You may turn over your secret lair cards if you need to to make your lair large enough. Oh, so this game may rely on memory. That’ll be a problem for me.

 

In the example above, the size 4 La Lair plus the size 1 secret lair — okay — makes 5. Julian Styles will come here to dance off. It’s 5. Julian Styles will come here to dance-off. From there you could do dancing and taunting. No, you can't turn over your surprise things. There’s an example one, but no one knows. Okay, then you could take a lair. Okay, you may play a spy from your hand as a double agent and take a lair from another player. You could only take face-up lairs, in which case you know what will happen. Oh, you can…or face down, in which case you must turn them up and take your chances. The results depend on the value of the spy and the La Lair. If the spy matches the lair, perfect. You take the lair card, adding it to your own, and you keep the spy for points. You can't taunt this spy, so…before you dance off, so you get no joy from a double agent. Instead, you will add that spy to the dance-off assistant of the month list, where there are with the same number of points that is shown.

 

Now, if the spy is larger than the lair card you played or lair card you played on…not so perfect; you get the lair card. However, the spy feels this argument was beneath them. So, they go to the discard pile. If the spy is smaller, then you don't get the lair. Instead, the owner of the lair keeps the spy, and that player may decide to dance with them or taunt them right now. If you find a surprise dance-off, darn. If a surprise dance…if a secret lair turns to be a surprise dance-off…oh, is a taunt card, it’s a surprise dance-off. No matter how strong your spy is, if you play it against them, they immediately have a dance-off and are collected by the owner without a taunt. The surprise dance-off is discarded. No, you can't play spies into your own surprise dance-offs. You could also take a spy. You'll notice that spies have different card backs because they’re lax about hiding. This allows you to take a spy from anywhere, including an opponent’s hand or the top of the deck.

 

If you take a spy as your action, you could keep it in your hand or play it right away. You could have a dance-off in your own lair, you could play it as a double agent and take a lair, but one exception; you can't take the lair from the player who you took the spy from. That’s not cool. Now, this game introduces the history part. The history part is that this game was introduce in 1997 with the name we can't repeat, but it was revived as James Ernest totally renamed spy game before it was returned now. This addition is a significant overall in the rules and a huge improvement, we think. Okay, there’s one more set of things we gotta read through about, dancing and taunting. From time to time you'll face the hard decision between dancing off with someone immediately or gloating. Both paths have merit. So, when a spy shows up to your invitation, you must immediately…oh no, when you take one, you must immediately dance or taunt them.

 

If you dance with them, they're worth their printed point values. If you taunt them, their point value doubles. To taunt them, choose a taunt card from your hand, read it aloud in a stout voice, remembering to replace the spy with the real spy name. Okay, there’s a catch, of course, which is if you play a taunt, your opponents get one chance to foil you, discarding the other card of the same letter. Okay, that’s why the letters make sense. If someone does this, your taunt fails and the spy escapes the discard pile. If your first taunt succeeds, you may dance the spy-off for their double value or taunt them again. You may repeat this as long as you want, doubling the point value each time. Opponents can only cancel your most recent taunt. So, wow, if you get the same of one letter, that’s big. You can't play…oh no, you can't play two matching taunts on the same spy, or perhaps you can, but the second one doesn't work. Whatever. Don't do it.

 

A note about…annoyed about foiling…a note about foiling; if you hold the card that can stop another player’s taunt, you also have a tough decision to make. You can prevent them from scoring now or you could hold the taunt card you know is unstoppable. Oh yeah, that is another thing. Okay…and two taunts; okay. So, I’m just trying to imagine playing the game. Okay, so let’s just imagine…you draw a card and then you get to perform one action. Okay, so, I got another taunt, but I have two matching taunts. So, that still helps me. Then…okay, can I play…? Then I can play a lair, a spy…okay, but I don't have any lair, and I have…so, the spies I have are 4 and 5, and then I have a lair, 4 and 2. I have 2 G taunts and one A taunt. Now, I know we can mess with your lair, right? But you have to play it secret at first, is that right? Oh, and then people could try to steal your lair. Play a lair…let me see. Okay, so, I’ll play my 4 face-down right now. In case anybody tries to take it, they’ll probably be in trouble, I hope.

 

Okay, then I’ll pretend I go again. Okay, I got another lair card. Wait, when do you flip your lairs over? Wait, do you have to play a lair as a secret lair? You may play one lair card from your hand face-down on the table. As long as it remains face-down, it’s secret. But do you have to play it face-down? I don't think you do. So, I I guess I’ll play it face-up. So, I guess my strategy with this game…well, I guess with this one I have a 4 lair and a 2 lair. So, I would play the 4 and then I would play the 2 face-down, so then I have 5. Then on my next hand I would play the 5 spy I have and then a G taunt, because I know no one can mess with my G, and then I would take 10. So, I’m trying to get to 33. Then I would try to do the same thing with my 4…oh, which I could do right away. I could have done that immediately. I guess I would do that first with my G and then do it again with my 5, maybe play my 4 quick before I even play my 2 as a 1. So, I’m just gonna play one or two hands here.

 

So, the dealer’s hand…oh, I get to draw a card. Okay, so, I have two taunts, an E an F, a 2 and a 4 lair, and a 4, 6, and an 8 spy. Huh. The problem with the lairs is…the one thing troubling me is that I don't understand the secret lair versus the regular lair, if you have to use a turn to flip the lair card, because 4 is not very high. But I think there’s gonna be a lot of stealing, too, 'cause I have three spies, three lairs. I guess I’ll put my 4 lair down as a hidden lair? Or, I’ll put it down as a hidden lair. Okay, my next person…I got another taunt. So, they have four taunts and three spies. So, I can't really do anything. I guess they would try to steal the lair card, but then I guess…with their 6 spy, 'cause it’s really the only option you have. Okay, if the spy is larger, you steal the lair, but the…oh no, 'cause then you'd lose the spy. Oh, so you have to match it exactly? So, I don't want to steal a lair. I don't want to lose my high spy, and I don't want to risk my 2 spy. So, I don't want to steal a lair.

 

Play a lair card…I can't play a lair card. I’ll steal a spy from somebody else’s hand. The person that went first…I got an 8, but now they know I have an 8, but I stole a spy from them. Okay, the next person I have…I draw a card. I have four 4 lairs and an A and an I taunt, and two spies. I also have a spy worth 7. So, I’m gonna put one 4 down as a secret. Okay, I’ll do one more round. Okay, this person got another taunt. So, they have a E, F, an I taunt, a 4 and a 6 spy, and a 2 lair. I’m gonna lay down the 2 lair just to see what happens. That’s not…oh, it also might help 'cause you know the spy. Okay, so now, this person might as well steal my lair with his 2 spy. So, that didn't really work out well for me, 'cause they're gonna use their 2 to steal my lair. The spy does match the lair. So, I keep the spy. You steal the lair, adding it to your own, and you keep the spy for points. So, I get two points for that.

 

Okay, the last person got a spy, too, so they might as well just steal the lair, too, 'cause they have a 2, and they’ll just steal the lair again. Okay, so that’s a little bit…a quick round there just to get an idea. It is complicated. I’m gonna have to learn a little bit more about the secret lair and then play this with actual humans and see what happens. But I hope you enjoyed this episode, and goodnight, everybody.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Bored Game Unboxing

 

How cameras focus

https://www.bhphotovideo.com/explora/photography/tips-and-solutions/how-focus-works

https://photographylife.com/understanding-focus-in-photography

https://www.lotsvision.com/article/how-autofocus-works-how-cameras-and-lenses-achieve-precise-focus.html

 

Crab Fragment / James Ernest

https://justingarydesign.substack.com/p/think-like-a-game-designer-4-james-021

https://www.originsgamefair.com/james-ernest

https://crabfragmentlabs.com/about

 

James Bond Tropes

https://nofilmschool.com/james-bond-tropes-beats

https://screenrant.com/james-bond-movies-biggest-tropes/

https://www.cbr.com/james-bond-tropes-must-stay-next-movie/

 

Before I Kill You, Mister Spy

https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/164/before-i-kill-you-mister-spy

https://crabfragmentlabs.com/shop/p/spy-game

https://www.dicetower.com/board-game/164

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’m here to be your friend in the deep dark night

Putting a mild smile on your face

We could really use your support

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Surprised by Scooter

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Quince; Talkiatry

 

INTRO

Thoughts you’re thinking about

Feelings that are just there

Maybe you’re just in the middle of a tough time

You’re not alone

Everyone deserves a bedtime without rigamarole

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

This probably won’t be what you expected

Give it 2 or 3 tries

I even forget my own show structure sometimes

Just barely listen to this podcast

Can you go through the last few board games you got and guess the rules?

Don’t worry, this won’t be interesting at all

I’ll be here for an over an hour, whether you need me or not

Shoulds have never helped me out

I’m here to be your borefriend

Explaining the show structure

The show within the show

Familiarity and Variety

Oh btw, I was by a seasonal creek yesterday

A creaky creek

That creek’s a-churning

Something familiar and something new

The intro isn’t supposed to put you to sleep

But if it does, please support the show

The bedtime routine

Some people prefer just the Story

The intro is a buffer

Some card games from some place I’ve been supporting on Patreon

Inexpensive Bottom Games is not their “official” title

Just be kind to yourself

 

STORY

This is a card game unboxing

I’m gonna be doing multiple 

James Ernest tabletop games

Crabé Fragment Labs

James has created around 1 game a month since 2019!

In 2025, they reacquired the rights to Inexpensive Bottom Games!

I support at a level where I get a game per month

New games

Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy

It’s kind of a James Bondé game

A game where you tell the spy your life story before you dance with them

Movie-Level Espionage

Let me count the total cards

One is a blueprint

More like a blue MCM wallpaper

The others are peach MCM wallpaper

Let’s separate them into decks

33 cards with blue backgrounds

22 of the other

Let’s look at the 22

007 – Jack Destiny

006 #1 – Odessa Goodwin

They look like protagonists from that British show that shares a title with a Marvel movie

006 #2 – Ferguson Lee

005 #1 – a very modern spacesuit, Gillian Styles

005 #2 – Friederich von Smith

I just tried to zoom in on these cards

A lot of blue tuxedos

Forest Washington – very muscular, in an action pose

He’s wearing a ribbed turtleneck sweater

#4 – Security Jones, in a formal gown

004 #2 – Peppermint York – a lime green ensemble

A necker-ribbon

004 #3 – J. Robert Lucky, a gentleman in an overcoat

004 #4 – Johnny K. Serat – holy cow he’s suave

1. Serat, Serat, a spy he may be

003 #1 – Marion Bright

003 #2 – Jessica Beach, ready for swimming

I don’t get the puns on all these names

Water Action Pose

003 #3 – Hilary Decent, wearing long tails

003 #4 – Donny Wait – posing for a Van Heusen photoshoot

A jacket slung over his shoulder

It’s Casual Friday somewhere

003 #5 – Christopher Zang – a deep red rose shirt

Natural orange hair

002 #1 – Sonia Lock – is she in a parka or a longcoat?

002 #2 – Salma Tanner – an alluring look while holding top secret paperwork

002 #3 Mark Macalander – that one’s funny

Mark is soaking wet in a tuxedo

008 – Maxine Kelly, wearing long elbow gloves

Adjusting her summer hat

002 #4 – The Invincible Sarno

002 #5 – Baxter Greene – he looks like he’s from a hard-boiled novel

002 #6 – Alma Russo, she’s got a beret and tall red boots

She’s in the middle of doing something

Okay, two different sets of cards coming up

Blue cards are the Lair or the HIdeout

These also have numbers

They have 2, 3, or 4

4 – This one is a fishtank

4 – Lady Witchbeard’s Island

4 – Secret Laboratory

4 – Clone Factory

4 – Cavern of Woe

3 – Radar Jamming Gizmo

3 – Plot Device

3 – Dancing Shoes

3 – Hall of Magnets

3 – Code Breaking Thing

2 – Underground Spa

2 – Thermal Teleduplicator

2 – Moist Bar

2 – Gourmet Coffee

2 – Adorable Pet

These next cards have letters A – I

Taunt Cards

I Taunt

H Taunt: I shall give you one last opportunity to divulge what they believe I think they know

G: I shall treat you as my honored guest…

F: I shall reveal the full extent of my plan

E: I shall defeat you in the ancient game of egg juggling

D: You’ll swim with my whales

C: I shall amuse myself my pawing through your ordinary-looking briefcase

B: I’ll leave you in a room where you can hear about my heist plan

A: Let me introduce you to my double agent, Enchilada Progress

Okay, let me look up the instructions now

Lair cards – grow your hideout

Taunt cards – share something personal with your pre-dancing spy

You can cancel the taunts of other players

22 spy cards – your well-meaning, but predictable, dance-off adversaries

Spies are notoriously bad at hiding

Shuffle the deck and cut it with your eyes closed

One more card than players

Draw a card on your turn and do one action

Play a lair card

Play a spy into your lair

Take a lair from someone else

Play a spy anywhere

Or pass

The goal is to build up your lair

Taunting doubles a spy’s point value but gives them a chance to escape

The goal is to be the first to have 33 points

If you play your lair face down, it’s secret and only worth one point

Surprise Danceoff

There are many ways for a spy to stumble into a La Lair

The value of your lair must be at least the value of the spy

Oh, if this game relies on memory, then that’s not good for me

You can play a spy from your hand as a double agent and take another player’s lair

If the spy matches the lair, you can get points

No joy from a double agent

You can’t play spies into your own danceoff

You can’t take a lair from the player who you stole the spy from

This game was originally introduced in 1997 with a name we legally can’t say anymore

Dancing vs Taunting

Taunting is a Press Your Luck mechanic

If you taunt, there’s a chance for someone to foil you

Cancel a spy with the same matching letter

A note about foiling

I’m trying to imagine playing the game

Two Matching Taunts

Wait, when do you flip your lairs over?

Do you have to play stuff facedown?

Outlining my strategy

I think there will be a lot of stealing, too

I don’t want to lose my high spy

This is complicated

I’ll have to play this with real humans

Thanks for listening and goodnight

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1454

Title: Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy | Bored Game Unboxing

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Surprised by Scooter

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; AquaTru; Quince; Talkiatry

Notable Language:

• Shoulds
• Creaky Creek
• That creek’s a-churning
• Inexpensive Bottom Games
• Crabé Fragment Labs
• Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy
• James Bondé
• Movie-Level Espionage
• A necker-ribbon
• Water Action Pose
• Alma Russo
• Enchilada Progress
• La Lair
• No joy from a double agent
• Two Matching Taunts

 

Notable Culture:

• • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • Patreon
  • Inexpensive Bottom Games
  • Cheapass Games
  • Crab Fragment Labs
  • James Ernest
  • James Bond

• The Avengers

• “Que Sera Sera” song
• Van Heusen

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts you’re thinking about
• Feelings that are just there
• Maybe you’re just in the middle of a tough time
• You’re not alone
• Everyone deserves a bedtime without rigamarole
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• This probably won’t be what you expected
• Give it 2 or 3 tries
• I even forget my own show structure sometimes
• Just barely listen to this podcast
• Can you go through the last few board games you got and guess the rules?
• Don’t worry, this won’t be interesting at all
• I’ll be here for an over an hour, whether you need me or not
• Shoulds have never helped me out
• I’m here to be your borefriend
• Explaining the show structure
• The show within the show
• Familiarity and Variety
• Oh btw, I was by a seasonal creek yesterday
• A creaky creek
• That creek’s a-churning
• Something familiar and something new
• The intro isn’t supposed to put you to sleep
• But if it does, please support the show
• The bedtime routine
• Some people prefer just the Story
• The intro is a buffer
• Some card games from some place I’ve been supporting on Patreon
• Inexpensive Bottom Games is not their “official” title
• Just be kind to yourself
• This is a card game unboxing
• I’m gonna be doing multiple 
• James Ernest tabletop games
• Crabé Fragment Labs
• James has created around 1 game a month since 2019!
• In 2025, they reacquired the rights to Inexpensive Bottom Games!
• I support at a level where I get a game per month
• New games
• Before I Dance With You, Mr. Spy
• It’s kind of a James Bondé game
• A game where you tell the spy your life story before you dance with them
• Movie-Level Espionage
• Let me count the total cards
• One is a blueprint
• More like a blue MCM wallpaper
• The others are peach MCM wallpaper
• Let’s separate them into decks
• 33 cards with blue backgrounds
• 22 of the other
• Let’s look at the 22
• 007 – Jack Destiny
• 006 #1 – Odessa Goodwin
• They look like protagonists from that British show that shares a title with a Marvel movie
• 006 #2 – Ferguson Lee
• 005 #1 – a very modern spacesuit, Gillian Styles
• 005 #2 – Friederich von Smith
• I just tried to zoom in on these cards
• A lot of blue tuxedos
• Forest Washington – very muscular, in an action pose
• He’s wearing a ribbed turtleneck sweater
• #4 – Security Jones, in a formal gown
• 004 #2 – Peppermint York – a lime green ensemble
• A necker-ribbon
• 004 #3 – J. Robert Lucky, a gentleman in an overcoat
• 004 #4 – Johnny K. Serat – holy cow he’s suave
• K. Serat, Serat, a spy he may be
• 003 #1 – Marion Bright
• 003 #2 – Jessica Beach, ready for swimming
• I don’t get the puns on all these names
• Water Action Pose
• 003 #3 – Hilary Decent, wearing long tails
• 003 #4 – Donny Wait – posing for a Van Heusen photoshoot
• A jacket slung over his shoulder
• It’s Casual Friday somewhere
• 003 #5 – Christopher Zang – a deep red rose shirt
• Natural orange hair
• 002 #1 – Sonia Lock – is she in a parka or a longcoat?
• 002 #2 – Salma Tanner – an alluring look while holding top secret paperwork
• 002 #3 Mark Macalander – that one’s funny
• Mark is soaking wet in a tuxedo
• 008 – Maxine Kelly, wearing long elbow gloves
• Adjusting her summer hat
• 002 #4 – The Invincible Sarno
• 002 #5 – Baxter Greene – he looks like he’s from a hard-boiled novel
• 002 #6 – Alma Russo, she’s got a beret and tall red boots
• She’s in the middle of doing something
• Okay, two different sets of cards coming up
• Blue cards are the Lair or the HIdeout
• These also have numbers
• They have 2, 3, or 4
• 4 – This one is a fishtank
• 4 – Lady Witchbeard’s Island
• 4 – Secret Laboratory
• 4 – Clone Factory
• 4 – Cavern of Woe
• 3 – Radar Jamming Gizmo
• 3 – Plot Device
• 3 – Dancing Shoes
• 3 – Hall of Magnets
• 3 – Code Breaking Thing
• 2 – Underground Spa
• 2 – Thermal Teleduplicator
• 2 – Moist Bar
• 2 – Gourmet Coffee
• 2 – Adorable Pet
• These next cards have letters A – I
• Taunt Cards
• I Taunt
• H Taunt: I shall give you one last opportunity to divulge what they believe I think they know
• G: I shall treat you as my honored guest…
• F: I shall reveal the full extent of my plan
• E: I shall defeat you in the ancient game of egg juggling
• D: You’ll swim with my whales
• C: I shall amuse myself my pawing through your ordinary-looking briefcase
• B: I’ll leave you in a room where you can hear about my heist plan
• A: Let me introduce you to my double agent, Enchilada Progress
• Okay, let me look up the instructions now
• Lair cards – grow your hideout
• Taunt cards – share something personal with your pre-dancing spy
• You can cancel the taunts of other players
• 22 spy cards – your well-meaning, but predictable, dance-off adversaries
• Spies are notoriously bad at hiding
• Shuffle the deck and cut it with your eyes closed
• One more card than players
• Draw a card on your turn and do one action
• Play a lair card
• Play a spy into your lair
• Take a lair from someone else
• Play a spy anywhere
• Or pass
• The goal is to build up your lair
• Taunting doubles a spy’s point value but gives them a chance to escape
• The goal is to be the first to have 33 points
• If you play your lair face down, it’s secret and only worth one point
• Surprise Danceoff
• There are many ways for a spy to stumble into a La Lair
• The value of your lair must be at least the value of the spy
• Oh, if this game relies on memory, then that’s not good for me
• You can play a spy from your hand as a double agent and take another player’s lair
• If the spy matches the lair, you can get points
• No joy from a double agent
• You can’t play spies into your own danceoff
• You can’t take a lair from the player who you stole the spy from
• This game was originally introduced in 1997 with a name we legally can’t say anymore
• Dancing vs Taunting
• Taunting is a Press Your Luck mechanic
• If you taunt, there’s a chance for someone to foil you
• Cancel a spy with the same matching letter
• A note about foiling
• I’m trying to imagine playing the game
• Two Matching Taunts
• Wait, when do you flip your lairs over?
• Do you have to play stuff facedown?
• Outlining my strategy
• I think there will be a lot of stealing, too
• I don’t want to lose my high spy
• This is complicated
• I’ll have to play this with real humans
• Thanks for listening and goodnight