1421 – Pixelated Pixel | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 2

Episode 1421 – Pixelated Pixel | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 2

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s coming to…coming your…no, I don't really need to come your way. You could approach me, I could approach you, or we could stay at a safe…whatever comfortable distance you need. I always…I say…especially with a sleep podcast; it’s amazing I’ve ever said I’m coming…I mean, I used to quote the Katy Perry song about five years after it came out. But you say, yeah, sleep podcaster, please don't do any coming at me even in a figure…don't worry. Alright, point taken. I’ve only been making the show, what, thirteen, fourteen years? Point taken. I’ll be gently non-approaching across the deep, dark night as needed, and we’ll redefine all those words as needed. If you're confused, though, that may mean you're a regular listener or you're brand new, because that’s kinda what I do. I mean, I’m confused always.

 

I’m confused as how…you say, the podcaster coming at you with a bedtime story. You say, no, no, there’s no context. I mean, maybe for kids, some sort…a parental figure or some sort of skipping icon they're comfortable with. You say, I’m coming at you with a bedtime story. Anyway, I’m way off topic here. How did we even go down this avenue? But welcome to Sleep With Me. It is eventually a podcast to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. This is why these discussions are important. Only in the context of a sleep podcast would any of this be relevant. So, yeah, I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, keep you company so you could fall off…instead of putting you to sleep directly, I kinda just talk for your benefit and you could kinda listen to me, barely listen to me, or listen to me as needed. I’m really glad you're here.

 

This show is here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and whether you're new, you listen occasionally from time to time, or you're one of the super listeners that listens to the show night after night…I think I was gonna say something else, but now I forgot. Oh, structurally what we got coming up…so, we got support. Supporting the show is really for only those super listeners. Those are the people we need to support the show. So, if you're a occasional listener, a time-to-time listener, or you're new, don't worry about it. Really, don't worry about it. If you're not in a position to support the show, don't worry about it. Then after the support will be a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then later on we’ll be reading from a collection of stories in kind of a audio-fiction-esque version of Sleep With Me.

 

All told, we’ll be here about an hour. I’m really glad you're here. I love trying to put people to sleep. I love keeping people company in the deep, dark night, 'cause I’ve been there, and I just want to help out if I can. Genuinely, I’ve been there. Lately…I even looked at my thing…I’m recording this in early November. On October 25th, my sleep just went…something changed and I can't even quite get…pin it down, so…but I’m working on it. So, I’m glad you're here, too, so I can help you out. I’ll keep working on my stuff, too. So, if you're new…like I said, or you don't listen night after night, year after year, don't worry about this stuff. But if the podcast changes your life on a regular basis, you'd miss it if it was gone, if you open up your podcast app and it said Sleep With Me is gone, think about supporting one of these sponsors or supporting the show directly. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, things you're thinking about, thoughts about past, the present, the future, thoughts that are just making an appearance, it could be feelings coming up related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, you know, feelings about something coming up or you're getting through or you just…feelings from the past, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, circumstances, anything related to circumference. You say, that…that was one of the few things I was good at, geometry, ‘til it got into the math part.

 

Math…pos…I mean, I talked to a…not to go off topic. I think I talked about this on the show already, but I was talking to a math teacher who loves teaching math and is really good at it. So, it opened my eyes up. ‘Cause I said, man, that must be the toughest job in the world. I couldn't…this is just my outlook; it couldn't be pleasant at all. He was like, I love my job. I love teach…I love math. I love teaching math. So, there’s a positive…there’s a positive note in the middle of a meander. So, okay, what was I trying to say, though? Oh, whatever’s keeping you awake…you could work a different schedule, whatever it is. The only reason I go through some of that stuff is so you know you're not alone in the deep, dark night, that there’s other people out there who are having trouble with some of that stuff.

 

Or maybe whatever it is that brought you here, maybe I didn't talk about it, but…and maybe it doesn't feel similar to any of the stuff I talked about, and that’s okay, ‘cause we kinda gather indirectly together here at the beginning of the show and we share something even though we…I guess it is like a potluck in a sense. We're sharing stuff and it might be a little bit different, but it all comes from a place of warmth, comfort, and inability to mispronounce words and being okay with that, but a shared sense of what the deep, dark night is for each one of us. But some of it is shared and some of it is specifically shared. So, whatever it is that brought you here, there are enough people listening right now around the entire globe that there is at least a few people that really understand where you're at right now, and they're thinking to themselves…maybe they're on the other side of it or maybe they use the show as a part of a way to manage their bedtime. They're like, I’m so glad you're here 'cause I know what that’s like.

 

I know exactly what that’s like. They're saying in a sense with their words that they do see you in where you are, and that it is tough, and that they're hopeful for you. Someone you don't even know that could be down the street or on the other side of the planet is hopeful for you right now in this moment for your sleep. That’s the most important thing I’ll point out in the show, is that they're hopeful you get the sleep you need. I’ll give you other options even other than Sleep With Me, so don't worry. This isn't specific to you becoming a listener to the show. But those listeners also do hope that you get the wonderful experience they're experiencing in their beds, knowing they're sending well wishes to someone that struggles like them. I don't know, there’s something about it that’s special in a very soft and indirect way, in a way that you could say is small in a good way. That’s the energy of the show. That’s the engine of the podcast, or the engines, or the why, so…and that’s why I make the show.

 

You deserve a bedtime you don't have to dread, a bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about, where you get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow and on a regular basis, and ideally so that you're out there flourishing in the world, because if you're flourishing in the world, the world is a better place to be in, and we need you. That’s not a joke, either. We really do need you flourishing in the world. Whatever it is you’re gonna bring to the world when your life is more manageable and when you're flourishing is what puts magic in this world. I don't normally point that out so directly. I hope I can remember to do it more in the future, though. That’s all I mean when I say I’m glad you're here. The way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, then I say, wait a second, and…so…and creaky, dulcet tones means my voice is not traditionally soothing, but you could say, yeah, it’s somewhat not bad. So, yeah, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I go off topic, I get mixed up, but I’m here to help you out. Now, this show is very different, and so, when most people get here — I try to point it out earlier and I’ll return to it now — you're probably skeptical, you're probably doubtful, you're probably frustrated, suspicious, irritated, whatever it is, because if it’s anything like me and you've struggled with sleep for a long time and repeatedly over a lifetime or you got something coming up and you really want to get some sleep or you're going through it and then you found the show, you probably had some kind of expectation, a reasonable one. This show is somewhat unreasonable. It’s different than most things.

 

That’s the way…that’s the sticky part of the show, just for the people it’s sticky for…that it can help you, but it does take a few tries to get used to the show. That’s what most people who became supporters of the show, who have been listening…their experience. There’s people that get it right away, but for most people, it takes two or three tries. So, just see how it goes for you, right, so you can see how it goes and see what works for you. What happens usually is the first time you're like, what is this? I thought this was a sleep podcast. Then the second time you're like, when…where…when do the chimes start, and the counting…? Where’s the guru-esque spirit-animal questing or the kinda talking to me like I’m a kid? You're talking to me like I’m a friend. Then on the third time…I mean, those aren't always the things. I’m just trying to…but then on the third time you say, wait a second, what was he…was he talking about…?

 

He was talking about something that was somewhat interesting or funny at the beginning of the show. I don't even remember what it was. He doesn't remember what it was. Then you have the experience when you wake up…you say…were you listening to that podcast, hun? Yeah, I was. I don't remember what he was…a planet? Maybe he was talking about planetoids or planning with the noid? I don't know. But it was great. I slept so good. Yeah, I noticed you did. So, that’s the way…the kinda…show works if you become a regular listener. Now, if you decide after two or three listens or you're deciding right now, dude, you're not for me, or you decide that after two or three listens or after listening two or three years you want to replace the podcast, don't worry, I have a website set up; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. You could go there and you could say, yeah, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, or you could say it with stronger…but go there.

 

It has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. You just answer two questions. We send you a list of stuff, and you're good to go. So, try that out, right, if this doesn't work, 'cause everything I said up to this point is true. Now, the other things about the show you need to know is that it’s a podcast that you kinda barely listen to, which…listening is optional. You can listen to the show, but listening’s also optional, which is a different way of listening than we do in our normal lives or that we're encouraged to do by…you know, supposed to be…you gotta be…what, are you active-listening to me? Am I active-listening to you? You're asking me a question. So, that would be active listening, maybe. Or you'd say, yes, I am actively listening to you. Did something about my body language indicate I was not? ‘Cause whatever you have to say is very important to me. I mean, that is a important part of some interactions, but not with this podcast. If I said, are you actively listening to me? Say, huh? Huh?

 

Oh yeah, oh yeah. You don't have to mean it. That’s probably…or some people just don't…I say, are you active listening right now? Huh? What’s…? Or you could…maybe don't answer. Maybe you say, kitty…totally; kitty cats are great. Yeah, I love cats. I’m totally listening to every word you're…I’m hanging on…with baited breath I’m wondering what the next thing you're gonna say is about cats. I’d say, that’s fine. I wasn't talking about cats at all, but you're here at Sleep With Me. So, it’s like a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow or on the phone on the stand, sand passing through your hands, a out-of-focus picture, a breeze in the trees, clouds passing through the sky. That’s what this show really is. It just kinda eases by you, and you can engage with it or not to whatever degree works or whatever degree you're feeling right now, and see how it goes. So, that’s one part about the show. This is also a sleep podcast that’s been around before there were sleep podcasts, really.

 

Or, not really; I’m pretty sure, and…or bedtime stories for adults was just something that happened in person or re-purposing of different stuff. This show is not here to put you to sleep. Even though it’s a sleep podcast, I’m not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show, none at all. I’m gonna be here over an hour. There is 600 plus episodes in this listener, ad-supported, free version of the show, and…there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day or need a break in the middle of the night or work a much, much different shift, or are coding or painting or whatever it is, and they need me. So, I’m here to the very end of the show whether you're listening or not, whether you need to pay attention to me or not. I’ll be here for you, and…'cause my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds…even though that’s Page’s job typically, you're…I don't know.

 

I don't know any…I think there’s other ones, but your best bore-friend f’eva to keep you company and hang out with you. Just like if it was in person and there was a way to do that three, four, five, six, seven nights a week with someone, and they were totally cool with it and they said, oh, totally; I got a hour and a half, and don't worry, I’m totally…I totally…I never leave crumbs or anything like that. When I close the door, it doesn't make a sound. In lieu of that being available…and kinda…these stories kinda lead…it’s like, one day maybe we’ll have some sort of android option that’s totally soft and we don't think…you don't say, I don't know…I don't have anything…I’ve just seen too many movies. You sure you're gonna shut your batteries down when you're done telling me the bedtime story? Oh yes, I am 100% going to shut down your…my batteries and recharge. So, you don't have to worry about that with this podcast.

 

I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, to be your bore-friend, to just hang out here with you whether you're hanging out with me or not, whether you're hanging out with the other listeners or not. The other thing at the beginning of the show I like to go through is the structure of the show. For new listeners or listeners that are having a tough time with it, let me just tell you why the show is structured the way it is. It’s to benefit the maximum amount of people we can. That’s the wonderful thing about podcasts, is that…the tough side about podcasts is that they're available everywhere. They're not just on one platform. But that also means that you can kind of use a podcast app to work with how you like to listen and build playlists and stuff like that, or use different podcast apps for different activities. But all our show is structured in this way.

 

So, the shows…everything we make starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I go on some sort of tangent to give you a sense of what the podcast is like and ideally to let you feel welcome and welcomed in and seen and respected, and that, hey, this is a caring place, imperfect — this show is imperfect, I’m imperfect, very imperfect — but a caring place where you don't have to be perfect; nobody does, where you're welcome, I guess. That’s what welcome means to me, I guess. Then after the greeting is support so that paying for the show is optional. If the show was behind a paywall, it just wouldn't work, or it would only work for a few people. So, the people that support the sponsors and listen to the sponsors or support the show directly make the show available to everybody else, 'cause there’s people listening who only listen 'cause they're going through a tough time right now or they can't afford to support the show, or they choose not to support the show, or they're new.

 

So, the support enables it to benefit everybody, and it’s really when the people that benefit the most participate back that that works. It’s kinda like a two-way street. Or if you're just a person…you say, I don't like listening to the ads or stuff, no problem. You could get ad-free episodes on Sleep With Me+. Then totally separate from the support is a show within a show, which is the intro to the podcast, and it takes about fifteen to twenty minutes for me to introduce the podcast I made thousands of times or a thousand-plus times, and there’s a reason for that. One is that I want every intro to be new, ideally, unless we're remixing something or something like that, because variety, I think, is an important part of this helping take our minds off of stuff. Like, repetition doesn't work for me. My brain, my feelings, my thoughts, my physical sensations, one of those will catch on. But when it’s familiar but it’s different every time, it has variety, that seemed to work for me, and the people that like listening to Sleep With Me it seems to work for.

 

But the great thing is I’ve made the show long enough now…if you prefer repetition, you could set it up in your…there are listeners that love repetition of the show or just specific things. That’s another great thing about making a podcast, is that you could just set your playlist how…what works for you. But the other reason the intro goes on and on and on other than I’m just inefficient and like hanging out with you is that it helps give a buffer between being awake and asleep, to ease you into bedtime. So, some people are in bed getting comfortable, some people are getting ready for bed or winding down, or they're doing some chill activity to get eased into bedtime. There are some people that fall asleep fast. If you fall asleep fast and you're hearing this, I have to get your attention, and please support the show. But otherwise this…the intro is to ease you into bedtime. That’s just what works for me personally, what everything I read about sleep works is having a nice wind down, that this podcast could just be one part of.

 

It makes bedtime nicer. Even when it doesn't go well…like, for me, I just started a new book and I say, man, looking forward to this book, at least, and hanging out with these characters. So, I got that, and then I can read for a while and I’ll be comforted at least, even if I don't know what’s gonna happen after that. That’s what the wind down is. That’s what the intro is about. If you decide you don't like intros, you only like the stories, don't worry, we have you covered in two places. There’s a free listener, ad-supported version, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me in any podcast app, and then on Sleep With Me+ you get ad-free, full episodes, and you get ad-free story episodes the same time. They come out in both versions in two different podcast feeds, as well as other stuff. But…so yeah, you could kinda see how it goes for you as you become a regular listener. Or, some people like to listen to a full episode and then story-only episodes. Just see how it goes for now if you're new.

 

Or if you're a regular listener and you're just listening to this kinda for the first time, paying attention, try some of it out if you want. But that’s why we do it the way we do it. Then after the intro will be support, and then later on after the support will be…I’ll be reading from this book we’ve been reading from. It’s like a collection of sci-fi stories. So, yeah, all told we’ll be here about an hour. I’m really glad you're here, and I work really hard. So do a bunch of other people. We yearn and strive. We really want to help you fall asleep. I’m so glad you're here. Again, if this…If you're new or you're just going through it, don't worry about it. You can't afford to support the show? Don't worry about it. But if you return to the show night after night after night, we really could use your support so we can be here night after night after night, 'cause listener support directly and the sponsors are the only ways we fund the show. Yeah, we just need the people that benefit the most to support the show back, and it works for everybody. So, think about it if you're one of those people. These are the ways you could take action right now. It’d be the best time if you're still up. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots back with…where I’m reading from Nothing Works, Everything Happens, and this is Pixel. Nelly held her hands over her mouth 'cause…she was like, huh, yeah, I gotta hold my hands over my mouth. She could feel her head and her heart moving together. She was also a little bit sweaty. She could feel it on her forehead, and there was a drip, drip, drip onto her tank top. So, she rested her head on the cold metal workbench behind her. Hanoi waved a hand at her wildly across the room. He was on his belly underneath another bench. Hey Nelly, what do you think that is? he whispered somewhat, but loud enough for us to hear. Nelly hook her head…shook her head with a hook, a hook shook, and shrugged, but she didn't answer. She knew to just use body language. Down the hall there was another sound of surprise, like someone when they're surprised at a surprise party or the surprising…even the words, they were hard to make out, but the joy and probably some of those things you blow on at New Year’s Eve, they could hear all that 'cause it was down on the other side of the outpost.

 

One of the voices sounded…'cause they said…or too early; you know when you do a surprise and someone’s too early and someone’s too late? The person too early and too late sounded like Moony, who worked on the outpost’s helping team. But they couldn't tell 'cause it was…trailed off, and then after you say ‘surprise’, then you wait for the person you're surprising to react, and there’s usually some small talk. They say, wow, what a surprise. But they couldn't hear that 'cause they were too far away. Oh, shoot, Hanoi said. What do we do? Are we late? Were we not invited? Remember when they did that surprise crawl? Are we about to ruin the surprise call…crawl? Call? A call of surprise during a surprise crawl? Nelly moved her hands from her mouth and exhaled slowly, 'cause she was trying…she was already in surprise mode, though they weren't part of a surprise party or a surprise crawl.

 

A surprise crawl is when you go from room to room or building to building, and instead of sampling food or drinks or going to different bars or restaurants, you have…people have different kinds of positive, loving surprises for you. But she was trying to remember. She was trying to focus, Nelly was. Her mind darted in all directions. Now, she had taken this job out here on this remote dark-space planet to escape what she thought was her chaotic lifestyle previously, or chaotic world she was a part of. Out here there was no other planets for light years, no stars in the sky. Not a single one. It was something Nelly had genuinely never considered before she arrived here. You can only see the stars that are in your own galaxy. The rest are simply too far away, Hanoi explained when she first arrived. In this galaxy, everything was too far away, and the night was jet black across the sky. Nelly felt mixed about it. She thought it was unsettling but also strangely peaceful.

 

That was part of the reason she had come to a lifeless asteroid hurtling through…or hurling; hurling. Not curling. Well, it could be curling depending on its angle…through unexplored space. Somehow even this far out, the chaos had still found her. You know, 'cause celebration is…there’s plenty of positive forms of chaos, part of the back of Nelly’s mind tried to tell her. So, the two of them sat silently, listening for any further signs of what was happening, trying to remember, checking their…they said, do we have any e-mails to check? Do you remember any meetings or memorandums about surprise parties or surprise crawls? I have no…I don't know. I remember there was some sort of sign-up in one of the break rooms, Hanoi said, and I heard people…I could have sworn I heard the word ‘surprise’ or…just in general conversation, and I headed towards the mess hall to see what it was, 'cause I was gonna try to peek around the corner…wonder…'cause I didn't want to be…I didn't want to…I didn't…hadn’t been…I didn't hear about anything, right?

 

So, I didn't want to show…just peek in, walk in. I’m not very good at walking in casually when I’m not being casual. So, I thought if I walked in casually…fake casually so they would tell me about whatever surprise they were planning, they would invite me. But I knew I couldn't pull that off, so I just waited and listened. Then I heard Jessa open…she was like, I’m gonna open a reverse-popper. Someone said, a reverse-popper? She said, yeah, a reverse-popper. It doesn't pop. It’s kind of like a miniature black hole. It sucks all the sound in. They said, wait, what do you mean? Or, what…have you ever heard of that, Hanoi? No, but she did it, and then there was nothing. There was a couple gasps, but then someone was…I heard someone walking out, and so, I bolted because I didn't want to get caught listening in, either. But it sounded like it worked. There was some sort of surprise that it offered.

 

But Hanoi was also getting louder, and Nelly was like, quiet, quiet, quiet. I don't know what to do, because if they know…we know we're not invited…man. Now, Nelly also knew something else; her partner, Tevi, had called her and warned her that some sort of…Tevi was like, I don't know, but there’s some sort of surprise going on, surprise planning. So, if it’s a surprise crawl, even if you…do you know anything about…? You know, at first they did that, and…no, no. Okay. Well, maybe we should both hide. If we hear anybody coming…as if we're gonna participate in it, and then jump out and say, surprise. Nella was like, well, what if it’s…? Nelly, not Nella, Scooter. Sorry. Nelly was like…you could call me Nella, Tevi, but not when I’m formally talking. But she said, but what if it’s a themed surprise? What if we're supposed to be dressed a certain way? What if each room is supposed to have a unique take on surprises or hiding surprise parties?

 

What if you're supposed to greet…like, what if it’s like some sort of alphabetical order…? Which would mean if they were the F Room, everybody whose name began with F, they were supposed to surprise. But then Tevi said, somebody’s coming to my room. I’m gonna hide and maybe surprise them. Bye. And hung up. Now, Nelly took that as a lead, and then she thought she heard something. She said, Hanoi, we gotta hide. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we should go find…then she changed her mind. She said, maybe we should go find Tevi. Go to…let’s try to sneak over to Tevi’s office, the com center or whatever, and see who’s surprising them so we could get a grasp of what’s happening. But then Hanoi said, no, no, no, please don't go look…to Tevi’s office, 'cause again, it’s worse if we get caught…if they know we know that we weren't invited, it’s worse than if we only know. Nelly said, are you sure about that? He said, please, please, please, let’s just pretend we're a part of it.

 

We could even have our own party. Surprise! We're gonna…she’s like, that doesn't count as a surprise. I’m not surprised. Hanoi said, I mean, I guess we both are somewhat surprised we're not a part of…especially Tevi. I mean…well, let’s go back to the workshop and set up. Then she said, what about going to Containment? We could do a surprise there, and that way, if it’s…what if it was no surprises at all? It’s just something like we’ve made self-perpetuating? We could be like, oh yeah, we're changing out our suits or whatever. You know, got a little dirt on them. That way we’d say, hey…oh, what’s going on? We're so…oh yeah, no, we were in a big project, secret project. Was there something going on? We heard…was that surprises we heard? We’ve been working so hard. You want…? No, no, no, 'cause we can't pull…I can't pull that off. You might be able to, but I’m…If I’m with you, I can't…I’m not a actor. He’s like, let’s just hide here. Also, this is gonna sound different, but I seriously enjoy…I find it not stimulating…I do find it stimulating.

 

Not that kind of stimulation, but I do find it titillating and stimulating on some level, hiding and anticipating surprising people. I theorize that that’s why we do it so much on this planet, 'cause maybe…I don't know how it’s related to not having any stars, or the asteroid. Nelly said, you're not telling me everything. He said, also, I don't know, I just don't like the…I don't want to be…something about that reverse-popper has me off. I don't know, that doesn't sound like something…it just sounded like something…I don't know. I don't know, I think my idea’s pretty good, Nelly said. Looked back over her shoulder, down the hallway…I don't hear anything. She took a breath and shuffled across the room to Hanoi as quickly as she could. Anyway, that’s the protocol. After, if you get anything on you, you're gonna have to go to Containment anyway to get it cleaned off, 'cause some of that stuff’s sticky. We're not supposed to use any shiny confetti-type stuff 'cause it could get caught in circuits and drains and pumps and hoses.

 

So, people are gonna have to come to Containment anyway. We're already covered in grease, so it looks like we were working. So, they’ll come there. So, I think it’s a good idea. But Hanoi looked up at her, trying not to indicate he was not going anywhere. We’ll get there. We’ll get in. We’ll even seal it off so they’ll have to knock. We’ll close the door, then they’ll have to knock. You put your helmet back…you could put your helmet on and maybe even pretend you're napping with your helmet on, 'cause you're so tired from working. He says, wait a second, we could put on the gravity seal. Then, yeah, they’d have to go through different stages to get in. So, that would look like…'cause we wouldn't have been able to hear anything through the gravity seal, clearly. So, she said…she gave a shrug and stood up slowly, and…but still was ready to surprise anybody. So, she was kinda low behind the work bench.

 

Now, the fastest way to get there is through the mess hall, she said reluctantly, 'cause she knew Hanoi was barely on board with the plan as it was. Now she was asking him to go directly back to where he saw the…whatever. He was listening in to Jessa use the reverse-popper with the other people possibly planning a surprise party. Nothing about surprise parties has been confirmed. But he nodded and picked himself up on to his knees. Okay, but what if we get separated? She said, okay, well, if we get separated or something happens, one of us takes the wrong turn, we’ll double back here and we’ll figure out a new plan. She looked around for anything they could use. She found a couple red rags and spun them in circles, and she said, okay, this looks like both rags or something we could use to surprise people.

 

He looked at her, 'cause…oh, one of the things they're not saying is like, if you're not a part of…like if you were…if someone was to come in that room right now, they weren't prepared to do a surprise and they weren't prepared to do a surprise within the surprise parameter protocol, SPP, for the station. They would get demerits. So, that’s one of the other concerns that Hanoi was having. I don't know, is that…make surprise red rags? But he took…and gave her faces like, that’s not gonna work. Any better ideas? she asked. He shook his head no. Okay, let’s run as quiet as we can on three. Nelly took a step towards the door. One. Hanoi bowed his head and clasped his hands together silently, communicating with power greater than himself. Two. Nelly grabbed a couple pieces of scrap metal and a can and put them in the can and shook it like a noisemaker. Thr…just as she was about to bolt, Nelly hesitated. The lights in the hallway flickered a few times and then went dark.

 

She looked at Hanoi. He stopped. He was frowning. His brow was furrowed. That’s always a good place to pause. But of course Scoots will keep going here. Nelly squinted her eyes, searching for what Hanoi was staring at. The hallway was pitch black with all the lights out. There was no footsteps. There was no sound at all. Wait; what? Where? What are you looking at? It’s something like a person dressed as a black…like a person in black who dresses a black hole. I’ve seen it before at surprise parties. There could be a whole group of people…I mean, they probably can't see us, either, Hanoi said. His voice was barely audible, but Scoots is interpreting. Nelly searched the darkness in front of her, looking for any movement at all, any sign of movement, any sign of sound. There was nothing there. But then there was. It was like a speck of dust, a simple grain of sand floating in the darkness. Her eyes couldn't quite make sense of it. It was a tiny dot that was absolute, purest light.

 

It slowly began moving towards them. Wait, was it moving towards them or away from them? Was it stuck on someone dressed in a black Spandex suit or a black velour suit? Was it just a piece of dust or reflective thing floating on the air or was it an actual light? Nelly couldn't tell. She had no frame of reference. The dot was not getting any bigger or any smaller. What, what, what? Hanoi said. His whisper turned into something louder. What are we gonna do, Nelly? Nelly still couldn't make out what she was looking at, just like any of us that have stared into darkness before, and things take shape that maybe aren't there or maybe they are. Maybe you're seeing something in a new way. But she couldn't make out what she was looking at, so she responded to Hanoi’s confusion by throwing the can full of scrap metal down the hall. The thing was, it never hit the floor.

 

As the can full of scrap metal flew through the air, the tiny dot zipped forward to meet it, and in that moment it sounded like the can got caught and then crushed, but then there was silence. No sound at all. Nelly took a step back. Hanoi made definite sounds of being caught, getting demerits, not being invited to some surprise thing, or not reading the proper e-mails correctly, or being left out of some sort of surprise-in-the-dark party, 'cause they weren't even…they were like, is that that movie that was like everybody…like when you sleep over and you turn the lights out on the floor? But they didn't have that concept here. But maybe they did, Hanoi somewhat felt…thought to himself. When Scooter and his fam…Scooter used to play it in a sleeping bag. Don't do this without supervision, but I would put a sleeping bag over my head and pretend I was a inchworm, and I’d crawl through the rooms. I’d definitely go slow enough so I wouldn't bump my heady-poo, and I would get lost, and I quite enjoyed it.

 

But this was different. This dot moved at the speed of light, almost, but I guess you could see it, so it wasn't the speed of light, or it was light moving, so it was the current speed of this light. So, technically it was the speed of light. It moved through the darkness and then landed on Hanoi’s cheek. Then there was a sound of kissing, like someone doing an exaggerated kiss on the cheek, like a smooch. She started to wonder if this was some sort of hide-and-seek game, which is not unprecedented, like…and she…so, she took off. She said, if this is some sort of hide-and-seek game where you have to get kissed…like, maybe someone’s wearing a lighted dot; that means they're it. Hanoi and I did not read the memorandums, which is not totally unprecedented. Same with Tevi. But clearly…she said, sorry, Han. That was her…short for Hanoi, or Han. Probably Han. Hanoi…Hanoi, Hanoi. Han, probably, more than likely, though Scooter did have a friend Han, so…but she said that to herself, but didn't look back.

 

I’m not gonna get demerits. I’ll pretend I know what I’m doing. But she could barely see a few feet in front of her. But she took the risk and held out her hands and ran at full speed through the hallways of the outpost. This might be part of the surprise or the game with the lights being all out, she wondered as she rounded a corner into the mess hall. There was no sign of Jessa or anybody else there, or Tevi. No signs of anyone else. Apart from her breathing from running, the mess hall felt still. For a moment it felt just like another night when she’d gone to sleep…she had gone out for a snack after waking up, and…just a regular night even though it was pitch dark. But yeah, she remembers walking these halls. They were pretty dark but not pitch dark when she’d got up for a snack when she couldn't sleep. But then there was a surprise sound as the lights started to power back up, and she was surprised. Then there was the hum in the walls, and the lights slowly faded back to full power.

 

Then she saw a door on the other side of the room, and she bolted towards it. You stick to the plan. Get to Containment. Get to Containment. She only thought that to herself. Now another pause if you need to. Okay, the instruments…can’t make sense of it, Dougie said. There’s no dimensions. Or if it does, our instruments aren't high-res enough to detect things. Mica rolled over to inspect his screen. Numbers and graphs…she didn't pretend to understand the cluttered display. But we can see it. We can see whoever it is. Well, we could see the dot, and someone must be wearing it. But you can't detect them? Dougie shrugged. He leaned forward and scribbled something on a scrap of paper. It’s like the light only has one dimension even though it exists in all three of ours. But you're saying it’s a flat light? 1D light? How could it project light? And it moves, Mica replied. I’ve lost track of it on the monitors. She was watching the monitors that displayed the cameras around the facility.

 

Okay, Dougie said, it’s possible. There are other 1D beings out there. Maybe it’s a super-advanced 1D being that got hired to work here that…that this is a game from their world or their dimension, or they just showed up here. I mean, we're not aware of all…I mean, I’m not aware of anybody that’s supposed to work here that was transversing in. Mica put her hand over Dougie’s mouth because they could hear people outside the door in the hall. Steps, steps, steps, they heard, and then someone pressing at the door. Also, they were in Containment, just so you know. The sign on the door said Containment. Is that the person trying to…? ‘Cause we have lights in here, so I don't even know if that breaks the rules, Mica said. She didn't remove her hand from Dougie’s mouth, though. He leaned over and scrolled her mouse, continuing her scan of the camera feeds. Only a few of the cameras were still operable for some reason, and they couldn't see the corridor that led to their door for Containment.

 

He shrugged. Mica slowly removed her hand from her mouth and asked for reassurance. Well, do you think…? They can't just come in here, though, 'cause this is Containment, where people clean their suits and stuff. I don't know, he whispered. Nothing about this game makes sense. I don't know the rules of it. We're clearly surprised. So, I don't know if we're supposed to be playing hide and seek, figuring out the rules, or being surprised. I mean, we're in a state of surprise. Are we just supposed to wait here and wait for them to surprise us? Then they heard the gravity seal release with a loud hiss and a low, descending tone. Someone used the manual lock and unlatched it. The thirty-six-inch-thick door swung open slowly, its rarely-used hinges squeaking. They looked at each other, but they were frozen 'cause they didn't even know what the correct thing to do was. Hello? A voice echoed down the hallway. Mica and Dougie’s expressions turned to confusion. Mica glared at Dougie, wide-eyed.

 

Again, he made his trademark shrug. Anybody else in here? Mica and Dougie still remained frozen. Then Nelly stepped cautiously into the doorway. Nelly, Mica said, rushing and grabbing her by the shoulders. You scared me. Are you…do you know what’s going on with this game and the dot thing? Nelly smiled, relieved, and hugged Mica back. Thank goodness. I thought I was the only one that had no idea what was going on, that…she squeezed Mica and took a step back. Do you guys have any idea what’s going on? No. I think it’s some sort of…could be an alien-based game, Dougie said. We can't make any sense of it. I don't know anything about it. Well, whatever…it’s some sort of tag, Nelly said, 'cause it got Han and…or Han. Han Solo or Scoots’ friend Han? You could go with either one. I thought we were gonna help each other 'cause…but we had a plan to come here, but it was my idea, so it was kinda my fault he got tagged. Mica and Dougie hung their heads and nodded knowingly.

 

Okay, he’s…he was…we weren't sure if he knew, 'cause we saw him on the monitor and we knew he was confused. We were keeping an eye on things from here, and then that’s when all the lights went out. ‘Cause we were on duty, so we wouldn't have been able to play any games. We didn't know about any games. Wait, so, you don't know about any games, but no one else has checked in other than myself, and you don't know where anybody else is? The other two nodded. Well, we know Tevi got caught 'cause we heard you on the phone with him. So, sorry about that. ‘Cause…oh, also, Tevi was only a few demerits away from transfer, so it was kinda…this was gonna interrupt…'cause if you get caught in hide and seek early, even though they didn't know the rules…so, they hugged. Nelly didn't seem to acknowledge what Mica had said, though. Okay, but in here I have a plan, she said, a play-ignorant plan. You two are on duty.

 

I’m gonna pretend I was…I mean, no, I’m not gonna pretend; I was totally caught up in a work project, and I’m covered in grease. Well, yeah, that’s what Dougie and I thought, too, because we said…well, you can play tag games with people on duty if there’s a back-up person. So, they can only tag one of us. So, maybe your plan would work? Or you could just be the last…you know, if…it’s probably later if everybody’s…if it is ‘one person’s it’ or…Dougie thinks it might be a one-dimensional light. I know it’s out there. Okay, then Mica was hugging, and then she…all of a sudden she noticed Nelly’s face change. Mica turned to Dougie just as a single, tiny pixel of light floated up off his monitor screen and hung in the air directly in front of his nose, a tiny speck, the purest light. It was already in the Containment room. It was an inch from Dougie’s face. No one moved. A little pausey-poo. Dougie slowly raised his right hand to Nelly and Mica as if to say, make a move.

 

He moved left and right slowly, but the tiny pixel just remained where it was, floating, where it stopped. Dougie started to talk to himself under his breath. I wonder how it sees, he whispered, tilting his head silently. I wonder how things look through one-dimensional eyes. I wonder if it knows there’s two of us on duty, and so, only one of us could be tagged. But there’s three of us in here. ‘Who are the two people on duty?’ would be another question to ask. Interesting conundrum. Such an interesting conundrum for…there’s three of us, there’s three dimensions, and there seems to be a one-dimensional pixel in front of me. That sounds complicated. Maybe you should double-check your work, especially if you're new on this thing, because we're all nice but we play by the rules most of the time. The floating pixel slowly retreated towards Dougie’s screen again. Nelly and Mica didn't let out a breath. Everything was pure silence.

 

Dougie stared at the speck just beyond his nose as it moved backwards. It really looked pixelated as though someone had magnified a dot smaller than an atom more than a thousand times so it could be visible by the naked human eye. It was a dot but it was garbled, digitally zoomed, out of focus. Dougie breathed a long, slow breath, and then he spoke again. It’s gotta be a one-dimensional transfer from another world or another…he was acting casual like he was only barely looking or paying attention, but he wasn't. Before he could even finish, he cupped his hands around the monitor and then grabbed his coffee cup and tried to put it over the pixel. But of course he…I mean, he did it in quite…it was a little bit like trying to catch a moving pebble. But he was fast. But he…also, his coffee cup collided with the screen of the monitor, which in this particular place, for some reason, were made of a glass-like substance, and the cup was also a ceramic-like substance. So, that broke.

 

So then he grabbed another…he threw out his pens which were in a plastic cup. Some things, no matter where you are in the universe, never change. He grabbed the cup and he was trying to catch the pixel, and it was moving around on the screen, kinda like it was magnetized but moving. But then what he did was even more expected…unexpected for most everybody. When he finally caught the pixel under the cup, he only held it for a second, and then he pushed it forward, pushed the monitor and the cup off his desk, turned around and ran, and tapped Nelly and Mica on the back and said, let’s go. It still doesn't know which one of us…three of us it could tag, and it can't tag all three of us without breaking the rules. But it could still tag two of us, but if it tags the wrong…and he was saying this loud enough still. So, they rushed down the hall. Everyone was a bit confused. Even Dougie was confused if his…any of his plans were sound.

 

Then there was a sound of the monitor and stuff getting cleaned up, a smooch, smooch, smooching sound, and then more smooch, smooch, smooching. Now, Mica got to the door they were running towards first, and fumbled on the door handle. Where are we going, Dougie? We're going away from here, said Dougie without hesitation. We’ll go to the docking bay. The docking bay? Nelly nodded and helped Mica push the door open as it released. She looked back down the hall but couldn't see the dot or anything. But then the lights went out in the Containment Room, and there was a sound of smooch, smooch, smooching. So, they ran faster through the mess hall and then took a left through the labs towards the docking bays. You could fly one of those expedition pods, right, Dougie? asked Nelly, gasping for air as she ran. They weren't used to running, running like this through the thing.

 

Running was highly discouraged within the…without being on a treadmill, 'cause it doesn't indicate…running indicates a surprise that needs your attention versus a surprise that needs your joy. Just a little surprise rule; no running. No need to run to surprise people for surprise parties or games like this. But they weren't following the rules. They were trying to win, I guess, a game they didn't even know the rules of or if they were playing. But this is part of keeping people on the…you know, keeping it from being boring. You say, we're out here in the middle of nowhere. Whoever came up with this stuff is pretty wise. I think I could fly one of those, Dougie said, jumping over a table. Now, at this point all the lights in the outpost were going out. Now, there was a couple dim lights headed towards the launch pads or whatever…wherever they were headed, boarding rooms or whatever. This made it really confusing, and so, they had to slow down and put their hands in front of them.

 

They also couldn't see each other. They were trying to reach for each other. As they went through more laboratories, Mica…Nelly almost got lost, but Mica grabbed her arm and said, no, no, stay with us. Mica was in the front. She said, is it behind us? Dougie said, I don't know. I’m not looking back. I don't want to look back. But this has been a long, long run, much longer than it sounds like as I’m rambling on and on and on about it. They were run, run, running. So, they were starting to get tired, not just breathing tired but running tired. Nelly could feel her heartbeat in her temples, and sweat dripped into her eyes. The overall stimulation of hormones from being involved in surprises and then games and then moving fast, it was the kind of thing that made you alert and tired and discomforted at the same time. But below all that was that spirit of excitement, childlike excitement pervading everything. So, the three of them also started to giggle in a hysterical manner.

 

While they were even trying to focus, they were giggling, giggling, giggling hysterically, and laughing and crying 'cause they were laughing so hard. Then someone would stop laughing. They’d say, cut it out, cut it out, we…I can't even breathe. We keep moving faster, it’ll hear us. Then there’d be…and then they’d start laughing again. Now, finally they got to the docking bay door, and with some fumbling, Dougie opened it. All three expedition pods remained docked. Wow, you were right; no one else made it here, Nelly said as she waited for Mica to open the entry hatch of the first pod and get in. Mica nodded solemnly, climbed inside, and shuffled over to make room for the other two. Dougie climbed into the chair at the helm and started clicking buttons, flicking levers, pushing buttons, turning knobs, and pressing stuff. What else can we do to get this thing moving? Nelly asked, wanting to help. Is this even a rule? Like, if we go off base, is it a rule?

 

You guys are on duty, but you can be on duty…okay, so you can be on duty off-base, and I was…Dougie said, we don't know the rules, so we could just say we didn't know the rules. I don't think they distributed…I think this is one of those improvisational games. So, strap in. Is there anything we could do to help? Nelly said. No. Buckle up. Once they were buckled, he pulled a large lever…pulled a large lever, then he levered a lever, and then he levered a lever, and the expedition pod hummed to life. The small ship shook as it got louder. Nelly checked her buckles and hit the close…door to close. They stared out the small porthole window. At this point the docking bay was completely dark, so she was searching for any sign of the dot. There was nothing. A sigh of relief and a sense of relief spread throughout the ship as she saw the flames and exhaust of the pod taking off. They were about to move out. They all started to giggle and touch one…each other in disbelief.

 

We're gonna…how many points will we get for…could you transfer your points to Tevi, maybe? Mica leaned forward as far as her straps would allow her and hit Dougie on the shoulder. Nice work, dude. Great idea. We did it. Dougie joined in on the laughter and held his hands above him joyously. All three started to laugh and applaud each other. Elation filled the pod. Oh look, this ship’s on autopilot, Dougie said. No hands, ma, as he held his hands up, looking back at Mica with an earnest smile. Mica sat back in her seat and let out a long exhale. The ship continued its upward trajectory off of the asteroid and out into space. Phew, she said, turning to Nelly and offering a smile, too. Nelly grinned and nodded, then she closed her eyes and tilted her head back on the headrest. The pod still shook forcefully, but she could feel the tension in her body draining out of her, the relief settling in. She had the post-giggles, post-giggle glow.

 

She started to really enjoy it with her eyes closed until the take-off vibration of the ship mellowed and the engine sounds quieted down. We made it. I can't believe it. We're off the rock, even. She could hear Mica saying that even though her eyes were still closed. She heard Mica patting Dougie on the back. Then Nelly took another deep breath. Mica said, check out the view. It’s beautiful up here. Nelly breathed. Look at all the stars all around us, Mica said. I can't believe there’s this many stars. But then as she said ‘stars’, something trailed off and Nelly’s eyes looked out the porthole in the entry hatch. Stars or points of light, hundreds in every direction. The expedition pod was floating through a sea of them. Individual pixels or grains of sand, tiny, out-of-focus, wobbly pixels of light floating in the darkness, dots of the purest white light, but they seemed flat and one-dimensional, too. So, Nelly said, there aren't any stars in this system.

 

There’s not any atmosphere we got out of that were blocking the stars. Dougie looked down at his radar display. He studied the ship on the radar. The radar showed no stars. Nelly said, there aren't any stars in this system. Then across the sky…now, we have a reference point for this, but they actually did not. The stars, like a drone light show, showed the word ‘surprise’, then a exclamation point, then a giant set of lips. Then the lips came through the ship because somehow they could pass through things, and then they pretend…and then they…and then…'cause you can't make sounds in space. They made a smooch and a smack sound, and then they said, congrats. You actually won. We don't know which one of you is not on duty and which of the two of you are. So, you're correct. Congratulations and surprise. Then there was more stuff. Like, they said, return to base for a celebration party. We're actually your new co-workers. We are from a one-dimensional…you know, stuff like that.

 

But they thought they lost for a quick second, Nelly and everybody else, but they didn't. So, they returned the ship and celebrated. Nelly actually was able to transfer some of her demerits or her positive…whatever the opposite of demerits is to Tevi, though in the long run the relationship didn't last. It did for a little while. They all lived out on an asteroid playing happily…games happily ever after. Goodnight, everybody.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Nothing Works, Everything Happens

 

Spirit Animals

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-red-light-district/202104/10-things-know-about-spirit-animals

https://www.kheopsinternational.com/blog/origination-of-the-spirit-animal/

https://johnlestrange.wordpress.com/2018/03/06/no-you-dont-get-a-spirit-animal/

 

Tag

https://lastcalltrivia.com/learn/tag/

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/an-epic-game-of-tag-by-the-tag-brothers/

https://www.britannica.com/topic/tag-game

 

Pixels / Pixellations

https://computerhistory.org/blog/the-true-history-of-the-pixel/

https://aeon.co/essays/a-biography-of-the-pixel-the-elementary-particle-of-pictures

https://blog.artsper.com/en/a-closer-look/art-movements-en/pixel-art/

 

Star Facts

https://science.nasa.gov/universe/stars/

https://space-facts.com/stars/

https://www.space.com/57-stars-formation-classification-and-constellations.html

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I don’t really need to come your way

We’ll stay at whatever distance you need

Point taken

Gently Non-Approaching

I’m confused, always

Reading from a collection of stories

I’ve been there

On October 25, something changed in my sleep and I just can’t pin it down

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Nothing Works, Everything Happens; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Coyuchi; Odoo; Warby Parker; Museum Advocacy Day

 

INTRO

Thoughts that are just making an appearance

Temperature, routine, circumstances

Anything related to circumference

I was good at geometry until it got to the math part

I recently met a math teacher who loves his job

Warmth, comfort, and an inability to pronounce certain words

Enough people are listening right now that someone out there can totally relate to what you’re going through

Someone you don’t know if hopeful for you

If you’re flourishing, the world is a better place

Somewhat not bad

You’re probably skeptical or doubtful

For most people, this show takes two or three tries

When do the chimes start?

Guru-esque Spirit Animal Questing

Planetoids and Planning with the Noid

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

You can say, “No thank you,” however you like

Listening is optional

Are you active listening to me?

My job is to be your borefriend

Explaining the show’s structure

I want every intro to be new

Variety is important

My brain catches up to repetition

If you fall asleep fast, please support the show

The Wind Down Routine

Reading from a collection of sci-fi stories

 

STORY

“Pixel”

Nelly held her hand over her mouth

She could feel her head and heart moving together

She’s sweating

Resting her head on the cold metal work bench behind her

Hanoi is also working

Hook Shook

Down the hall was a surprise party

They hear someone who sounds like Mooney

Saying, “Surprise!” too early and too late

Oh shoot, were they not invited?

Ruining the Surprise Crawl

She’d taken a job to escape the chaotic world she was a part of

No stars in the sky in this lonely planet

Everything is too far away, so the sky is jet black

Plenty of positive forms of chaos

Are there any emails to check?

Any memos about surprise parties?

Jessa opened a reverse popper

It’s like a miniature black hole and it sucks up sound

Sounds like it worked

Nelly’s partner Tevi had called her to warn about a surprise planning

Let’s hide and see if a surprise party emerges

Let’s try to sneak over to Tevi’s office to see who’s surprising him

It’ll be worse if they know we know we weren’t invited

What if we go to containment and happen upon the party?

Hanoi just wants to hide there

Hanoi does love surprising people

Something feels off about that reverse popper sound

The dangers of shiny confetti

Let’s pretend we’ve been napping

Put on the gravity seal so it’s plausible that we didn’t hear it

The fastest way to get there is through the mess hall

Nelly asks Hanoi to go with him

A surprise party has not yet been confirmed

If we get separated, we’ll double back and come up with a new plan

Nelly spins some red rags in circles

These rags could be either a surprise decoration or a defense tool

They need to follow the Surprise Parameter Protocol (SPP)

They prepare to run to the door

The lights in the hallway flickered and went dark

Nelly squinted, searching the dark

It’s a person dressed as a black hole

Maybe the can’t see us

Searching for any movement at all

A speck of dust

A simple grain of sand, floating in the darkness

A tiny dot absolute purest light

Where is it moving?

The dot is not getting any bigger or smaller

Throwing the can of scrap metal down the hall

It never hit the floor!

The dot goes to meet the metal

A crushing sound, then silence

It sounds like Hanoi is getting demerits for not attending the surprise party now

I used to put a sleeping bag on my head and crawl on the floor like an inchworm at sleepovers

The dot is moving at the current speed of this light

It lands on Hanoi’s cheek

The exaggerated sound of a smooch

Nelly peels off into the darkness

She enters the mess hall, and no one is there

Surprise sound as lights power up

She tries to get containment through another door

A pause

Cut to…

“The instruments can’t make sense of it”, Dougie says

Dougie and Micah inspect their screens

Trying to interpret this light dot

A flat light?

A super-advanced 1D being

They hear steps outside the door

Also, these 2 were in Containment

Who’s at the door?

Only a few of the camera feeds are still operable

They hear the gravity seal hiss and the door opens

Someone calls out to them

Dougie makes his trademark shrug

Nelly cautiously enters

Micah and Dougie are relieved it’s Nelly

No one knows what’s going on

An alien-based game

Tevi didn’t make it

A Play Ignorant Plan

Maybe this is a form of Tag

Nelly’s face changes

A single tiny pixel floats off of Micah’s computer monitor screen

The pixel is in the room

A little pause

The pixel just floats there

How does it see through one-dimensional eyes?

Such an interesting conundrum

The floating pixel retreats to the screen

Dougie stares at the pixel

It really looks pixellated

Dougie tries to grab the pixel but misses

He breaks the computer screen behind the pixel

Magnetized Moving

They run

It can’t tag all 3 of us

There’s that smooching sound again

Heading to the docking bay

The lights go out again

They’re not used to running

They’re trying to win a game that they don’t know the rules to

The lights are all going out

Running in the darkness through laboratories

The run is much longer than it sounds

Breathing tired and running tired

Alert, tired, and discomforted, with an underlying spirit of childlike excitement

Giggling in an hysterical manner

They make it to the docking bay

All 3 escape pods are still there

Levering a Lever

They’re buckled in, getting ready to go

Nelly looks out the porthole

A sense of relief as they escape

Maybe we will win this game!

Elation fills the pod

The Post-Giggle Glow

Look at all the stars around us!

Wait, those aren’t stars…

Hundreds of points of light surround the pod

Dots of the purest white light

The radar shows no stars

There are no stars in this system

The stars make a word

Surprise!

Then they make the smooching sound of lips

Congratulations, you won!

Turns out, they are the new coworkers!

The returned to the ship and celebrated

And it all worked out fine

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1421

Title: Pixelated Pixel | Nothing Works, Everything Happens Ep 2

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Nothing Works, Everything Happens; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Coyuchi; Odoo; Warby Parker; Museum Advocacy Day

Notable Language:

• Guru-esque Spirit Animal Questing
• Are you active listening to me?
• Hook Shook
• Surprise Crawl
• Reverse Popper
• Titillating and Stimulating
• Surprise Parameter Protocol (SPP)
• The current speed of this light
• The exaggerated sound of a smooch
• A super-advanced 1D being
• Alien-Based Game (ABG)
• A Play Ignorant Plan
• Such an interesting conundrum
• Magnetized Moving
• Levering a Lever
• Post-Giggle Glow

 

Notable Culture:

• • The Noid
  • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

• Nothing Works, Everything Happens

• Han Solo

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts that are just making an appearance
• Temperature, routine, circumstances
• Anything related to circumference
• I was good at geometry until it got to the math part
• I recently met a math teacher who loves his job
• Warmth, comfort, and an inability to pronounce certain words
• Enough people are listening right now that someone out there can totally relate to what you’re going through
• Someone you don’t know if hopeful for you
• If you’re flourishing, the world is a better place
• Somewhat not bad
• You’re probably skeptical or doubtful
• For most people, this show takes two or three tries
• When do the chimes start?
• Guru-esque Spirit Animal Questing
• Planetoids and Planning with the Noid
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• You can say, “No thank you,” however you like
• Listening is optional
• Are you active listening to me?
• My job is to be your borefriend
• Explaining the show’s structure
• I want every intro to be new
• Variety is important
• My brain catches up to repetition
• If you fall asleep fast, please support the show
• The Wind Down Routine
• Reading from a collection of sci-fi stories
• “Pixel”
• Nelly held her hand over her mouth
• She could feel her head and heart moving together
• She’s sweating
• Resting her head on the cold metal work bench behind her
• Hanoi is also working
• Hook Shook
• Down the hall was a surprise party
• They hear someone who sounds like Mooney
• Saying, “Surprise!” too early and too late
• Oh shoot, were they not invited?
• Ruining the Surprise Crawl
• She’d taken a job to escape the chaotic world she was a part of
• No stars in the sky in this lonely planet
• Everything is too far away, so the sky is jet black
• Plenty of positive forms of chaos
• Are there any emails to check?
• Any memos about surprise parties?
• Jessa opened a reverse popper
• It’s like a miniature black hole and it sucks up sound
• Sounds like it worked
• Nelly’s partner Tevi had called her to warn about a surprise planning
• Let’s hide and see if a surprise party emerges
• Let’s try to sneak over to Tevi’s office to see who’s surprising him
• It’ll be worse if they know we know we weren’t invited
• What if we go to containment and happen upon the party?
• Hanoi just wants to hide there
• Hanoi does love surprising people
• Something feels off about that reverse popper sound
• The dangers of shiny confetti
• Let’s pretend we’ve been napping
• Put on the gravity seal so it’s plausible that we didn’t hear it
• The fastest way to get there is through the mess hall
• Nelly asks Hanoi to go with him
• A surprise party has not yet been confirmed
• If we get separated, we’ll double back and come up with a new plan
• Nelly spins some red rags in circles
• These rags could be either a surprise decoration or a defense tool
• They need to follow the Surprise Parameter Protocol (SPP)
• They prepare to run to the door
• The lights in the hallway flickered and went dark
• Nelly squinted, searching the dark
• It’s a person dressed as a black hole
• Maybe the can’t see us
• Searching for any movement at all
• A speck of dust
• A simple grain of sand, floating in the darkness
• A tiny dot absolute purest light
• Where is it moving?
• The dot is not getting any bigger or smaller
• Throwing the can of scrap metal down the hall
• It never hit the floor!
• The dot goes to meet the metal
• A crushing sound, then silence
• It sounds like Hanoi is getting demerits for not attending the surprise party now
• I used to put a sleeping bag on my head and crawl on the floor like an inchworm at sleepovers
• The dot is moving at the current speed of this light
• It lands on Hanoi’s cheek
• The exaggerated sound of a smooch
• Nelly peels off into the darkness
• She enters the mess hall, and no one is there
• Surprise sound as lights power up
• She tries to get containment through another door
• A pause
• Cut to…
• “The instruments can’t make sense of it”, Dougie says
• Dougie and Micah inspect their screens
• Trying to interpret this light dot
• A flat light?
• A super-advanced 1D being
• They hear steps outside the door
• Also, these 2 were in Containment
• Who’s at the door?
• Only a few of the camera feeds are still operable
• They hear the gravity seal hiss and the door opens
• Someone calls out to them
• Dougie makes his trademark shrug
• Nelly cautiously enters
• Micah and Dougie are relieved it’s Nelly
• No one knows what’s going on
• An alien-based game
• Tevi didn’t make it
• A Play Ignorant Plan
• Maybe this is a form of Tag
• Nelly’s face changes
• A single tiny pixel floats off of Micah’s computer monitor screen
• The pixel is in the room
• A little pause
• The pixel just floats there
• How does it see through one-dimensional eyes?
• Such an interesting conundrum
• The floating pixel retreats to the screen
• Dougie stares at the pixel
• It really looks pixellated
• Dougie tries to grab the pixel but misses
• He breaks the computer screen behind the pixel
• Magnetized Moving
• They run
• It can’t tag all 3 of us
• There’s that smooching sound again
• Heading to the docking bay
• The lights go out again
• They’re not used to running
• They’re trying to win a game that they don’t know the rules to
• The lights are all going out
• Running in the darkness through laboratories
• The run is much longer than it sounds
• Breathing tired and running tired
• Alert, tired, and discomforted, with an underlying spirit of childlike excitement
• Giggling in an hysterical manner
• They make it to the docking bay
• All 3 escape pods are still there
• Levering a Lever
• They’re buckled in, getting ready to go
• Nelly looks out the porthole
• A sense of relief as they escape
• Maybe we will win this game!
• Elation fills the pod
• The Post-Giggle Glow
• Look at all the stars around us!
• Wait, those aren’t stars…
• Hundreds of points of light surround the pod
• Dots of the purest white light
• The radar shows no stars
• There are no stars in this system
• The stars make a word
• Surprise!
• Then they make the smooching sound of lips
• Congratulations, you won!
• Turns out, they are the new coworkers!
• The returned to the ship and celebrated
• And it all worked out fine