1420 – Trevi Steps to Toons | Get Besos in the Sky PI 18

Episode 1420 – Trevi Steps to Toons | Get Besos in the Sky PI 18

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends of big…people who…people…I don't know, I was trying to think of something to say, and then everything…my sleepy edits were saying, eh, I think you could skip around. So, instead, I just made a couple utterances. There’s something of utterances…what’s…unguent…utter…I don't think we have unguent utterances around here. Is an unguent like a salve? I guess…we don't have urgent utterances. I guess my utterances may be unguent. Let me actually look that up. Welcome to Sleep With Me, by the way, the podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. When I tried to look it up, it’s just…I looked up the definition of ‘ungentlemen’…oh yeah, a unguent is a semi-solid preparation similar to an ointment used to soothe, heal, or protect the skin in particular. The term ‘unguent’ can also be referred to as ignoble, not of kingly lineage.

 

I mean, I guess that’s correct. This podcast is not…it serves a noble purpose, but it is not…I don't proclaim any lineage. In fact, I go very rarely in a straight line. But welcome to Sleep With Me again. This is a podcast, as I said just a few seconds ago…actually a couple minutes ago. It’s meant to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. This is just the very beginning of the show. But the podcast is…it’s a little bit different, so just give it a few tries. It’s really friendly. I’m just here to try to help you out, help you fall asleep in a indirect way, by hanging out with you in the deep, dark night. So, see how it goes if you're new. Give this show a few tries. What we got coming up right after this is support so that paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime. Then after that will be a bedtime story, our episodically modular series, Big Farm in the Sky Get Besos PI, which I recorded another intro for yesterday, but that ended up…it’s gonna be for a episode about sea noodles.

 

So, that kinda happens sometimes. So, welcome to the show. I really hope I can help you out. If you're new, you listen from time to time, you're just going through something, don't worry; if this podcast changes your life on a regular basis, these next messages are actually for you, because that’s who we make this show for. ‘Cause if the podcast helps you out three, four, five, six nights a week, twenty, thirty days a month, we really could use your help back. Here’s the ways you could say, man, yeah, this podcast makes my life so much better. How can I help the show that makes my life better? These are the ways.

Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? I still have unguent on my mind. An urgent unguent…Urgent Unguent; that sounds…that’s the…that was a newsletter about…it was too frequent. I don't have a lot of unguent urgency. I mean, when I need unguents, I guess it’s not even urgent, 'cause usually unguent’s something I think about probably closer to bedtime. But that newsletter, I think, was designed to create…the new…a new vision of unguent urgency, how to revitalize the…and I say, okay, but…salve, balm, unguent…salve…salve; that’s…is that one syllable? Balm, unguent…I don't know. I mean, what about bespoke unguents? I mean, if there’s…I guess all…most unguents…I think unguents existed before big…you know, before the big brands got in there, big…has there ever been a big unguent? I mean, I guess I’m the biggest unguent of all. Anyway, welcome to Sleep With Me. Are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?

 

Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do, unless I get distracted, which I have already a few times, is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake or keeping you from getting the rest you need. It could be thoughts, things on your mind, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be in the middle of something, and whatever is going on, I’m here to kinda help out. You know, people work different schedules, you could be…you could have something big coming up, you could be getting over something. The reason I kinda talk about that stuff is so you know that I’m here to help you out and that I kinda get it.

 

Tossing, turning, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up early, whatever it is or none of those things, I know what it’s like when I say it’s the deep, dark night for me and how it feels. If it feels anything like that for you or if it feels different but unpleasurable, right, or uncomfortable, I’d like to try to help you out, 'cause I know what my discomfort and my dissatisfaction around sleep can be like. Even if yours is different, I’d still like to help you if I can. But here’s the other good piece of news I like to point out in the intro, is this show…in the past couple years I’ve gotten big into something that’s different. It’s not ever gonna be celebrated like the Next Great Unguent. That was my reality show I pitched. It never went anywhere. The Next Great Unguent…they said, no, we pass on that. I say, okay, well, if you get a scrape, you'll be looking me up. But so, what was I saying? Oh, why do I go through…?

 

Oh, the past couple years, we’ve gotten big on this idea of passive…or you could do it actively, of rooting for other listeners, and across the deep, dark night sending them…you're rooting. You're cheering for them. You're hopeful for them. I don't know if you're new or you're just coming back to the show or you just need it, you've just been feeling…man, I need somebody rooting for me that gets how I feel right now. There’s enough people listening around the world that there is someone listening right now that not only gets how you feel and not only has been through something similar, but they're rooting for you right now. They're in their bed or they're doing their wind-down routine, and they're thinking fondly of you, and they're hopeful that this podcast can help you out or guide you to another podcast that might help you out. That’s what we're about on the show, really. That’s what I’m here to do, is kinda be…I don't know, to kinda activate that first part.

 

You get rooted for, and then ideally as this podcast helps you on a regular basis or you return to it when you need it, you're rooting for other listeners. You're thinking of them fondly and kindly in the deep, dark night. So, what else do you…might you want to know about other than that? Well, the way the show…oh, the reason we're doing that…not only because we get it; because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable, without the rigmarole and the tossing and turning, where if you get the rest you need on a regular basis, maybe you're out there in the world flourishing, 'cause that’s what we really need, is you out there in the world flourishing. It makes our world a better place. So, what I’m gonna do here is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

I’m go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, to help you out. But at first when you get here, if you're new or you've only listened once or twice, this show can be quite grating. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea. It’s normally different than what you expected, 'cause maybe you found this show through a recommendation or a search, and you're having trouble sleeping, and maybe you've been having trouble sleeping for a long time, or maybe you have some non-unguent urgency to get some rest, and you're like, man, I thought this was a sleep podcast. What’s going on? You're just talking about almost nothing. That’s most people’s experience when they get here. I mean, I would be confused. I would be skeptical. I would be doubtful. So, yeah, alls I can say is give this show a few tries. That’s what most regular listeners said; it took two or three tries for me to realize, oh, he is talking about something and nothing…he’s serious about unguent and urgency and under…his book of poetry he never wrote, From Under the Unguent.

 

It was written from the…my writing poetry as a scrape. The poetry of fanfiction, fanfiction poetry of a strawberry from a summer slide on my…the side of my thigh. From Under the Unguent. That was a collection…maybe it was…I don't know, maybe we should have done it as a contribution thing, a collection of other people’s poems. We used to just come up with the title. I don't know, maybe we’ll do that…let me know if you're interested. So, what was I saying? I never…oh, and then people are like, oh wait, he’s…okay. I fell asleep. He was…I don't know what he was talking about. I think he was talking about salves, Solving Salves, his mystery series he never wrote, or Baffling Balms: 1001 Facts About Balms You Never Needed to Know. Yeah. Or his thing, 1000 Tricks You Could Play On…if balms ever become sentient…1001 Tricks…Party Tricks You Could Perform For Your Balm Overlords. Or if they come from another planet…say, what, are you a goo? No, we're balms.

 

We're sentient…we're from Planet Unguent, believe it or not. I mean, in your language, that’s what it is. Yeah. Well, the royal family threw us out. So, yeah…but yeah, we're sentient balms. We're not…no, not a goo, not a blob. We're a balm. We're balms. Wow, are you into poetry at all? Because I think I have something for you. But that’s Party Tricks You Could Perform For Your Balm Overlords. It was called Baffling Balms. Or Baffling the Balms; that was a sitcom based on that book. ‘Cause at some point they say, okay, we gotta come up with programming for these balm beings. Say, well, that came…that was a easy connection. Yeah, balm beings; that’s what they are, balm beings. Some would say they're balm-based beings, but they're actually not balm-based. They're just balms, 'cause balm’s based…a balm’s base is not balm. It’s water and other things. Scooter has no idea. Yeah. So, is there any miasma in there? Just so I could make sure I get used to my classical minor?

 

No, there’s…well, a spiritual miasma is the way it’s been described in their poetry, as best we could come up with a interpretation of it. Okay, maybe we could get that and the poetry cordially I came up with, From Under the Unguent? Possibly, but you probably should get introducing your sleep podcast. Oh yeah, thanks. So, we send our voice across the deep, dark night…oh, most people don't…oh, when you get here, yeah, you're gonna be like, what is he going on about? Unguents still? Balms? Yeah, balm beings. He believes that there could be balm beings that he might be working for one day. I’d say, yeah, finally I’ll be ahead of the curve. Say, all this overthinking finally paid off when our…you know, when the balm…Balm 1 landed, the ship. More of a vessel, interplanetary vessel, and a vessel for balm beings. So…okay, so, most people don't like the show. Some people…believe it or not, some people never like me or the podcast, and that’s okay.

 

I’m saying that 'cause it’s obvious, right, that this show is for the people it works for, that are like, I had no idea I was looking for this kind of content. It’s mildly humorous and somewhat strange, and it’s a person who has a vocabulary. You couldn't…he has…he’s verbose. His understanding of the words may be not complete, but he certainly has words in his head. Yeah, it’s for your benefit. So, just give the show a few tries. If it doesn't work out, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff. We introduce tons of people every month to other sleep podcasts because you still deserve a good night's sleep even if you strongly dislike me, you know? That’s fine. I still hope you fall asleep and get some good sleep, 'cause, yeah, this is very niche content. But when you find it, you're like, wow, I didn’t know. Pondering the…I wish there was…I could think of a unguent word that’s…meandering? I don't know.

 

I should probably keep going with the intro, or else this will be a whole episode. So…okay, so, most people don't like me. This is also a podcast you just barely listen to, kinda like background noise, a TV show streaming under a pillow or on in the other room or something you're listening to but not paying attention to, or a friend who’s talking and you say, hey, just tell me about this. I’m not really gonna pay attention, but I’ll kind of pay attention to you. So, there’s that. So, it’s a show that you kinda tune in and tune out of. It’s a sleep podcast, but I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. So, there is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you don't have to worry about when you're gonna fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for the people that cant sleep at all or who need a break during the day, or who are not…I’m here for everybody, whether you're listening or not, 'cause that’s my job.

 

You wake up and you need to listen? You can. If you don't need to listen to me, you just need to hear me rambling and mumbling, droning on and on and on, I’m here, and if your needs change, that’s why we put out so much content. ‘Cause my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your best bore-friend f’eva to keep you company in the deep, dark night. The only other thing I like to run through is the structure of the show. We structure the show in a very specific way to benefit the maximum amount of people we can. So, I just want to run through that. The show start…everything we do starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, oh, okay, I could check that out.

 

Then after that support, so that paying for the show is optional…really, the people that support the show…you don't need to unless the podcast changes your life on a regular basis. But this…the people…when the people that…the podcast changes their life support the show and support the sponsors, it gets to be here for everybody else. That’s the wonder of Sleep With Me, of sleep podcasts and of podcasts. Everybody wins when the people that get the most out of it give back. So, yeah, if you're new or a occasional listener, you don't gotta worry about it. Then after the support, totally separate from the support, is a show within a show, the intro of the podcast. It’s around fifteen to twenty minutes long where I try to explain what the podcast is — and this is a pretty clear example, this one — and then I go off topic a bunch of times 'cause something catches my attention that’s not particularly interesting to anyone…to most people other than me.

 

Then my brain says, what about if they came from another world? I say, wait a second, so they're balm-based beings? No, no, no, they're balm beings. They're not…oh, okay, that makes sense. Oh yeah, I could come up with some books for them. I mean, I’ll never publish them. The balm beings are like, oh, but you will. That’s a commitment. You made a commitment to us. I’d say, okay, sure, whatever, as long as I have some kind of special…oh yeah, we’ll give you a special privilege. Never mind. I don't need to know. I’ll do it for the love in my heart of balm beings or balm-based…if there are any balm-based beings, by the way, I’m not excluding you. So, Balm Base, can you come in? Balm Base? I just…I don't know why…that just popped in my head, too. So, that’s what happens during the intro. The intro is…I follow a structure that’s meant to kinda help you out, right, and say, hey, this is what happens with the podcast and this is what to expect.

 

But it’s different every time 'cause whatever keeps us awake, at least in my opinion, it needs variety, something familiar and something different, so every intro is different. It’s also a time we kinda spend together as a community. There’s a tiny percentage of people that fall asleep fast, and those are the people we need the most support from. But other than that, most people are getting comfortable, winding down, getting ready for bed, doing some chill activity, petting their pets, doodling, journaling, whatever it is, to ease into bedtime, 'cause that’s what really works most of the time for me, is having a wind-down. If you prefer something without intros, you get…every episode comes out at the same time on Sleep With Me+, just the stories, but we also have a story-only podcast that’s free in every podcast app called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. But most listeners like this easing into bedtime, having a buffer. So, that’s what the intro is. That’s why it’s fifteen to twenty minutes long.

 

That’s why every episode has a new intro on it. Then there will be support, then there will be our episode. Tonight it’ll be our episodically modular series, and that’ll be it. All told, we’ll be here about an hour plus, and I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope…so does a bunch of other people, and we really hope we can help you fall asleep. If this podcast does really make your life better…like, you say, man, without this podcast, my life would be slightly less better. If you could think about supporting the show in one of these ways we're gonna talk about here, it’d be a huge help for us to continue making your life slightly better or a lot better. I don't know. So, here you go.

 

Alright everybody, welcome to our episodically modular series, Get Besos: Big Farm in the Sky PI, which…let me…if you're new or you're coming back, or you never heard one of these episodes or you never heard this part of the show, don't worry, I’m here for you. I’m here to tell you what’s going on and meet you where you are. So, episode…what’s a episodically modular series? That’s a series with…so, it’s…we do…we put out about one episode a month. It has recurring characters, and the episodes are related to one another, but you could listen to them in any order. Not only…well, the last episode we put out, we caught you up on everything that happened. So, it’s kinda like everything…so, what is this, Episode 18, I believe? So, Episodes 1 through 16 could be prequels. Then you could imagine we took a series break, and they said…or whatever, it changed hands.

 

Time passed, many years passed, and then we put out 17 to catch everybody up on what had happened in the prequels, and now we're putting out Episode 18, though I have a general feeling that things are getting close to wrapping up. So, yeah, it’s episodically modular. It means you could listen to it in order, but you don't need to, or you could listen to it out of order, then in order down the road, 'cause it’s here for…to keep you company and put you to sleep, and all the episodes will be available for at least the next four, five, six years in this feed. So, definitely access it when you need to. Get Besos: Big Farm in the Sky PI specifically is a tale about…how do I explain what it is? Well, the Get Besos part is about…once upon a time, two best friends were in the Beige World, which is a post-earthly existence that tends to be dull and not a lot going on. Very…I’d say…kids four, five years ago would say mid, mediocre, okay…well, not even okay. Less than okay. Tolerable.

 

They were there, two best friends; Richie, RW, and James. JC, he could even go by; James Cash. Richard Warren and James Cash…and they were both there. They were both formally once…this is all fiction. Parody, fiction, satire bedtime story. But once upon a time in this fictional realm, they were titans of retail industries before my time even as the teller of the beginning of this podcast. Then they…I think probably they entered this…another realm, then their retail changed. In this fictional story, they're there in the Beige Realm, and they become aware of this guy who became a titan of retail currently…or in fictional realms only. Richard, Richie…Richard said to himself, I don't like this. This guy has tarnished our…we were titans of retail industry. We could be remembered forever. Now retail has totally changed. He did not view it as…he didn’t view it as progress in his…it wasn’t progress for his ego. So, he said, I gotta put…we gotta go to earth.

 

This guy just happens to be named Jiff, Jiff Kisses, Jiff Besos. So, they were like, we gotta go there and we gotta give him a stern talking to, this Jiff, about retail. I don't know that Richard actually…Richie has any…well, anyway, I don't need to comment on it. They need positive solutions, but…so, they did that. Now, where the Big Farm in the Sky PI comes in is that this particular season…this has happened over and over again in the history of Sleep With Me. They also needed help from the Big Farm in the Sky PI because…this particular season, the reason they wanted to give Jiff a stern talking to was Richie had already given Jiff a list of other famous figures and post-earthly existences that…he didn't like how it turned out for them. Even if he didn't…some of this is a stretch, but this Richie, he’s a stretch. For example, he imagined that Inspector Javert from Les Mis — the musical version, I believe, though it could be the movie musical version — that…that was…that after he existed, he was probably in a non-positive, post-earthly realm, even though he’s fictional.

 

Then he didn't like that idea, so he said, whatever non-positive, post-earthly realm Inspector Javert happened to have to be required to visit, we're gonna go get him and take him out of that post-earthly realm. Now, a couple things that came up…well, one, there’s been other seasons. So, it turns out the universe and existence is incredibly resilient. So, this messing around, it probably does have a limit, hint, hint, but another thing — at least in this thing — is that, oh, by believing that Inspector Javert is living a post-earthly realm, it appears so far that that…it’s kinda like sculpting clay. Then…if clay could become sentient and conscious and have an entire history connected to it. So, probably not the best example. But sculpting clay in your mind with some sort of cosmic, spiritual energy may be more or even less accurate. So, it turns out by doing that, Inspector Javert also became real and became…so, then they went and…so, that was just one of the episodes.

 

Now, at the same time, we realized that Jiff is actually working…he was supposed to go looking for people like Inspector Javert. Richie gave him a list, but Richie only had one copy of the list, which he gave to Jiff. Richie does not remember the list that accurately. But meanwhile, while Jiff was collecting or meeting up with the people on this list or not, he was also working on a restructuring of all post-earthly existences, apparently with a really…idea of economies…I don't know what this means; economies of scale, capital…cap…I don't know if there’s any amortization going on, but somehow leveraging the workforce in the post-earthly realms for the benefit of maybe his company…I don't know, something like that, combining…using the work…post-earthly workforce, a post-earthly-realm workforce for the benefit of people on earth, or at least for him, his benefit. So, right now, I think the main character…the Big Farm in the Sky PI will catch us up any more than that.

 

If you're not already comforted by all this, it’s fiction and parody and satire, just in case I need to say that…make it clear that I may or may not know what those words mean, as well. So, I’m glad you're here, and now, for the very first time in…I’m in a New York State state of mind. Not just a New York State of mind, but he’s in a New York State state of mind. When I say the leafs were making more than peeps when he arrived in town…this is our Hollywood announcer. I heard more than a peep from leaves when he…I don't know if he’d travel here totally on what he would say is stored solared energy…solar energy; thank you. But if there’s a wind…if there’s a…I think he probably would be the first person if he had…I mean, this would be another thing; I don't think he has…he has the personality capital, but if he had limitless capital, I bet you he’d say, remember those wind-up cars with the fan at the back? Yeah, we invented that.

 

You could travel…I travelled across the country in a car with a propeller on the back of it that’s run by rubber bands and somehow recyclable energy that winds the rubber band, which probably could be full of water or wind or both. He just gave me a finger thing that makes me feel like he already invested in that somehow. But without further ado, for the first time here in the room that was…could be called the mudroom where I’m recording currently, but I’ve been told that it’s not insulated, so I won't be able to record here for very much longer. So, this may be his first and last appearance right…well, right now will be for sure, where I thought we would record all our episodes, but it turns out I didn't check that it was insulated, and it’s not heated 'cause it’s not…it’s not a mudroom because this was built…it’s a connecting…something…a room that connects the garage and the house. He’s laughing hysterically. It’s our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas.

 

The friends beyond the binary, the ladies and gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to get Besos, Big Farm in the Sky PI. Yeah. Yes, Scooter and I will be peeping some autumnal leaves soon and walking in the rain. Goodnight, friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Yeah. Wow, that was…no wonder leaves do more than peep when you get in…like, the leaves are peeping…you know there’s a difference between auditory peeping — we’ve talked about this — or the sound of peep. There’s…they're all…some leaves are probably falling off early because they're internally…they're peeping themselves. I mean, I don't know how else…he’s laughing at that. I actually made him laugh. But they're not…I mean, that’s just a term, 'cause they're not actually looking at themselves in a joyous manner. But they are aware that Antonio Banderas has come to the Central New York area to look at them, and they are so excited that…I guess they may be…they're still peep-able when they're on the ground.

 

Actually, a lot of good leaf-peeping, in my opinion, takes place on the ground. So, those leaves just peeped themselves. But that’s confusing 'cause it’s a expression…I mean, I guess it’s not confusing. The essence of leaf-peeping is something like joy and amazement and awe, and their knowing that Antonio Banderas was gonna have joy, amazement, and awe while he viewed them made them go into a state of ecstasy because of awe, the beauty of Antonio Banderas’ longing gaze, and the idea like…I guess this is a very relatable thing; I’m gonna make…I may be putting Antonio…I mean, even when I make him giggle, it makes me feel good on the inside. So, when a leaf is like, I’m gonna make him…I may put him in a state of awe or amazement? He may go slack-jawed when he sees my natural beauty? Then the leaf falls off the tree. Now, great news for leaves everywhere, because this isn’t…we just…I’m not a…you know, whatever. My leaf-peeping happens everywhere; on the ground, in a pile, on the breeze. Somebody call Seuss and see if we could get that…in the air, everywhere. Leaf-peeping. These leaves…anyway, thanks for listening. This is Scooter and Antonio Banderas, and this is Get Besos: Big Farm in the Sky PI.

 

Hey Diane, it’s me, Simon, recording, trying…Diane, I don't have a lot of answers here, and I have a lot of questions, and I’m…gotta go to my notebook. Okay, here’s what I know. I’m only…I’m by myself, currently, Diane, recording and thinking and processing by talking to you. We went through the portal. It was…oh, I’m in Florida, Florida, in The Towns or near the…well, still in The Towns. I’m hiding a little bit, or laying low. So, Lilith departed. I mean, Lilith wanted to do things in Florida and be a part of the whole post-earthly…people being…going on…going trick-or-treating. But Jiff was also with us, Diane, but he’s not with me anymore. So, the good news is Lilith’s probably off having fun. The bad news is Jiff…I’m not sure what happened. Either Jiff got away or he became the guest of a lot of groups, 'cause it was like…we came through the portal, and as we’ve always talked about, Diane, time works differently. But it’s very…it’s chaos city. Here’s what I’ve been able to gather so far.

 

So, the post-earthly…things went a little bit…they’ve gone awry. So, the post-earthly employees, I think they're split into more than one group, but the larger the group or the one that’s taking the most action…they originally were coming to just go trick-or-treating, and then they would have had to return to the conference, but everything kinda started to…Jiff had some ulterior motives for the vote. People weren’t happy with the vote, and they…also they were like, we want to enjoy ourselves. They started to become aware…wait, we could just keep enjoying…they’ve decided they're gonna stay in Florida and become permanent residents — I mean, I guess eternal residents in this case — of The Towns. Not only that; they're gonna…we kinda call it…it’s a little bit like twinning or invisible-friend-ing if your invisible friend gets to kinda…remember that…? I don't remember the movie, Diane, but I know that it was Being John Malkovich.

 

So, I don't want to say that it’s like that, because I don't know if it is. But they become residents of…the person kinda is carrying them around, and it’s a whole thing because…it happened so much that the actual Florida residents of The Town are aware of it, and they’ve contacted Dustbusters, not just one group of Dustbusters, but nationwide, professional Dustbusters, amateur Dustbusters, dust-curious. They’ve also created a kind of cover story. Like, sewer gas is typically one of…they say, oh, no one can come in The Town. We're having a problem with sewer gas everywhere. Everybody should stay around their house and not go trick-or-treating except for the people that are trick-or-treating. Also, you can't trick-or-treat more than two nights in a row, I guess, so that’s another part of this. This will be the fourth or fifth night they're trying to trick-or-treat. Then there’s people within the post-earthly realm…because it’s pretty clear…I don't even know.

 

But my clear thing is I’m trying to sneak from The Towns which is…it’s a gated…it’s for active lifestyle people over fifty-five, Diane, but it’s also very well-gated from the outside world, even for Dust…amateur or pro Dustbusters really can't get in here, but they are waiting outside and analyzing. There’s quite a buffer and a berm and everywhere. But G and DK, they live right outside of The Towns, and I need to go see what’s going on with them. I can't get ahold of them. Right now, that’s my top priority, is checking on G and DK. So, I’m waiting. I’ve been watching a couple groups of Dustbusters, and they…the good news is, Diane, they don't have a way to charge their batteries. So, they…and they…because they're kinda in competition, the pros and the amateurs, I’m pretty sure this last group that has battery-powered monitoring equipment is gonna run out of batteries or gas. Then I’m actually gonna get a ride with them or…I’ll be back. I’m gonna go check on G and DK.

 

I’m sure I’ll…I’m taking every precaution, so don't worry, Diane. Alright, Diane, this is Simon back, and I went to G and DK’s…I don't know, I’m not feeling…so, I have a note from G and DK, but it was written…either one of them has very good handwriting or printing. Normally it’s not rushed, but there was a note, and their house just looked a little…or their place, their condo looked a little…there’s something off, Diane, is what I’m saying. My gut’s got me. But there was a note for me to meet them at the Trevi Steps, which is back in The Towns. So, I’m back in The Towns. Well, right now…I guess I was leading you a little bit, Diane, because I am also hiding again, but I’m trying to walk you through it in a way that sounds like a story. But there was…they were gonna meet us at the Trevi Steps. Now, they didn’t…it wasn’t…I said, why…? There’s no time. G and DK wouldn't just give me a general message. But…and it had this weird scrawl at the end.

 

Okay, so the Trevi Steps, Diane…you might say, no, no, no, it’s the steps or the fountain. What’s the Trevi Steps? But you wouldn't say that, Diane, because you're Diane. But I would say it because here in The Towns, this was one of the newer things they had just launched, the Trevi Steps, which is a combination of the Spanish Steps, I think, and the Trevi Fountain, though it’s way more marble. It has the world’s largest marble escalator made…probably the only…I mean, talk…I don't even…and originally when it opened, it was the world’s largest solar…it was the world’s largest solar-powered escalator, the only marble…maybe something like that, Diane. But then the main person that runs the state politically said that solar panels were causing daytime light pollution and that then it couldn't be run on solar energy anymore.

 

They come…working for…they said, this is too much daytime…this is not fair to the residents to have daytime light pollution coming off the solar panels, so…anyway, now there’s shops, there’s steps, but most people just take the marble escalator. It does have…it’s not…is it skid-proof or is a skid…? It’s not slippery, is what I’m saying. Then in the middle is the Trevi Fountain times a thousand, though it’s very…I say, talk about light pollution, this glistening marble or…I don't know if it’s actually…I don't know if any of it’s real marble, Diane, but it’s very shiny and slick and very mythological. I’m hiding in the fountain right now because two people are…so, this was not…luckily I already was like, something’s going on, because I came over and I was trying to keep…dodge Dustbusters. There’s these two groups, and then I realized, oh, they're looking and waiting for me here. One of the groups was waiting for me at the Trevi Steps, and they were trying to take me I don't know where.

 

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on or what their motivation is. But I’ve also been listening, Diane, and there’s a great concern…one of the disagreements between the groups is that we're headed towards the first reboot in existence history, like a re…like a Re: Big Bang 2.0 or a Re: Big Bang. I don't know if we’ve ever covered this, Diane — I’m sure you're aware of it — but it would be like a full reset. As far as I know, I went into this working with Richie and James with the idea that the universe kept recovering despite all their messing around, and it just proved the resilience of the universe, even when they caused other smaller reboots or whatever. This would be a full reset, Diane, or a Big Bang…no one would know it was the Big Bang 2.0 or whatever. I don't know. That’s just the terminology. Especially…these groups are like, it’s gonna be a full reset. They're gonna reset everything.

 

What that means is none…it’ll restart everything, but none…everything…it’s just like…oh, reformatting a hard drive, I guess. There won't be any of us…we won't…I won't…even I won't be…so, it would affect all post-earthly realms, all of…Resetting Eternity; that sounds like…I don't know who wrote that book, but…Big…the Big Re: Bang, somebody said. I said, Big…Re: Big Bang? Big Re: Bang? Whose theory would that be? Okay, but I was hiding here, Diane…this is the last thing. So, that was like…and I was wondering what to do. Then I realized…'cause I trust G and DK. I knew they wrote the note, but I knew there was something else. Thank goodness I’ve learned to trust my gut through you, Diane. Okay, 'cause my gut, Diane, told me there was a clue. Well, no, it didn't tell me that, but it told me something was…just…it told me to pay attention. Then I was hiding in this fountain and looking at the fountain and how shiny it was, and…what’s this real marble?

 

You know, passing the time, listening, hiding. Then I said, this is a lot…I said, they may have the record for number of tridents here, too. ‘Cause I said, oh, is that Triton? The trite Tritons, I would say, Diane, if I was trying to crack a joke. This is Trite. How many…? Do too many tridents make Triton’s…? Try me. Try me. Try me. Too many tridents makes Triton trite. Makes titan’s trident trite. That part works, Diane. But there was a lot of tridents…but then I said, oh no, no, they're not all tridents. I saw that G and DK had made a trident, but a v-style trident. Now, you should know that one of them works nearby off…one of these places on the Trevi Steps, 'cause it’s lined with cafes and pubs, and it’s kinda like being in a cruise ship that doesn't move, I guess, or a mall. I don't know, Diane. But so, I looked and I said, wait a second, trident actually has the v-shaped trident.

 

Some of these are two-dents or four-dents or quat…so, then I wade my way…swim my…over to Triton’s trident, and what do I find in the back of Triton’s head, stuck there, but a wet piece of paper, Diane, a wet piece of ripped paper. I had to dry it out. Now, luckily it was written in…well, clearly indelible ink, very good ink, eternal…I would say it was probably written in eternal, non-earthly ink. Eternal…ENEI, Eternal Non-Earthly Ink. But I didn't know it at the time. So, I dried the paper out. Also eternal, non-earthly paper, which dries a lot faster. It can be ripped, the same as paper. It dries faster. It doesn't deterior…it can be ripped, but it doesn't deteriorate, at least as far as I know. Just a couple office…post-earthly office facts. What’s post…? PE…post-earthly…PEOF? Post-earthly office fact, yeah. I know you don't keep track of those, Diane, but maybe it’d give you a little mini-guffaw. Okay, but so, this was Jiff's list. Now, it took me a while to figure that out, but…because it’s ripped and it’s a list.

 

But what helped me figure it out was the names on there, and then pausing…'cause it was…'cause at first I thought it was the ink. Once everything was dry, I said, does this really say this? Shrif…oh, Nodderingram. Shrif Nodderingram. Willy, Kyle, Tay…Fuddy…let me see. Let me look, Diane, 'cause I have…in a safe spot here. Oh, a spinny dock…Fuddy Fudrucker…ten-gallon moustache…and I said…at first I was like…thought it was items. Ten-gallon…what’s a ten-gallon moustache? Okay…Fuddy Fudrucker, is that the main character at the Fudrucker franchise? I thought there was only one or two of those left. That’s on Scooter’s bucket list, though. Spinny dock…spinny dock…Willy…now, it took me a while to figure out it was coyote. So, that’s a little bit of a hint. ‘Cause I said, what is that word? I thought it was…I had no idea, Diane. Then Shrif Nodderingham or something, Shrif Nodderingham.

 

Okay, Diane, so eventually what I realized was these were…so, at least I had an awareness; oh, these were fictional people. Then I said, oh, this is…RW wrote this list. So, then it became…I said, oh, this is part of Jiff's list. This is clearly Richard Warren’s writing and interpretation of fictional…I’m surprised he even knew whoever that person was that…I can't even remember now. These are, well, fictional beings, but some of them…or depending on how you define Shrif Nodderingham, are toons. All of them have been toons on some level at some point. So, a lot of them are from a one-toon universe. But it was also like, okay, G and DK somehow left this clue for me. That’s what I’m operating on. Everybody’s in costume. So, my next move, Diane, is I’m gonna get a costume. I said, oh, well, I’ll put a costume on. Why didn't I think of that? I still have my costume on from the costume contest. It kinda made…well, I mean, now I don't, but…'cause I’ve been in the water for like, however many hours.

 

It doesn't bother me, clearly. I’m post-earthly, but…so, I’m gonna get a costume, then I’m gonna go look for anyone dressed in any of those costumes, and then I’ll be back with you, Diane. Okay, Diane, it’s me. I’m back. I’m about to go in somewhere, but let me walk you through how I got to where I’m gonna go in. It was frustration, Diane. Now, I got a costume. In respect of this, I got…I was like, huh, should I dress as a bunny? Then I said, carrot. So, I’m dressed as a carrot. It also reminds me of the sketch…this sketch comedy I liked, but then I said, he was dressed as a hot dog in that sketch, not a carrot. But I thought he was dressed as a carrot for a while. But so, I’m dressed as a carrot, and it makes it easy…I mean, as long as I stay in The Towns. Conflict is still building between outside and inside The Towns. So, I went and I tried to get the trick-or-treaters that…but that didn't work. Then I got really frustrated and I yelled out, toons. I was yelling out toons.

 

I was saying letters like D-A-R-N, stronger than that. Sorry, Diane I may have got disconnected from you there. I had…believe it or not, it’s the first time I clearly ran out of tape. But when I…was telling you, Diane, is that I was very upset with the concept of toons, and I was vehemently stomping my feet, steam coming out my ears, saying ‘toons’ with other four-letter words, Diane. Where do I go from here? So, someone…it sounds like you're really…what are you yelling about toons for? I said, well, I’m trying to find toons. So, I’m still not myself, Diane. I did not pause. I did not pause, and I was saying, toons…and I said, you can find tunes right on your dial, your FM or AM dial. WTUN tunes, the sounds of The Towns, man. I said, I’m sorry, what? They said, WTUN Tune. Tons of tunes from…all the ones you remember. The sounds of The Towns. It’s the WTUN, the radio station. One day I hope to be…Diane, they kept talking.

 

Again, I still was not myself, but since…I’m like, don't you know I’m saying T-O-O-N, toon? So, I wasn’t listening to them, but then I started listening to them again, 'cause they said, everything…since everything’s gone strange here, there’s somebody…things have gone strange on WTUN, WT…the Tune. It’s sounds of The Town. So, I said, I’m sorry, what did you say? They said, everything’s gone strange on there. Somebody’s on there running this…they're not playing any tunes anymore. So, that’s what I thought you were upset about, the lack of tunes on W…the lack of tunes on the Tune, the radio station. I said, what do you mean about the lack of the tunes on the Tune? They said, there’s just somebody on there, a sheriff of Nodderingham or something going on and on. I said, wait a second, what? They said, there’s been a 86-hour op-ed from the sheriff of Nodderingham. They keep saying they're gonna play music, but they keep talking about…I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.

 

It’s like some sort of…one of those radio stations where the guy just riffs on and on and on. I think there was one in New York that was pretty good, but it’s hard to be good at that. Almost like one of those sleep podcasts, but different 'cause it’s not meant to sleep to. I say, give me your…and they said, what do I look like, I carry a radio one me? I said, where can I find this…? I said, on the…they said, on the radio. I said, where…? Didn't you say you want to be…do that? They said, oh yeah, yeah, down at The Towns Studios. That’s where the…they have the television station. You could film stuff there. There’s a animation…all sort…and I said, wait a second, there’s a animation studio? Well, they do animation classes. Mostly on computers nowadays. I said, which…? So, anyway, Diane, that’s my next piece of information, is this…toons…so, I finally got a radio, and I listened in. I did…now, I did listen to the op-ed, Diane. I guess I forgot what I was talking about.

 

But this sheriff of Noddingham is very…now very unhappy with Jiff. He’s call…so, this is part of this chaos on the outside. He’s calling for post-earthly…a deviation from any plans involving Jiff, and laying out a pretty clear case of promises, promises. Let me see if I can explain what I’ve heard so far, Diane, in a way that is sensible. Also, I know G and DK are guests there, and so, that’s…but so, he’s saying that Jiff asked them…met the sheriff of Nodderingham and some of the other characters that were listed that are toons. This was a toon version. Now, I’m not quite clear on Jiff's motives, but the motives of these fictional characters that were now called into existence…and they were made aware…so, Jiff is using RW’s approach in some sense. He did explain them that it seemed unfair that…now, none of them…I’m not sure…because you think about aging, right? You say, okay, any of those characters…? How do you say that it’s time…? They’re fictional.

 

So, to go back to Inspector Javert, right, Inspector Javert in the story changes realms. As far as I know, in the toon version, the sheriff of Nodderingham, Willy, Cactus Willy or whatever, that chases birds, the bird-chasing Willy…also there’s other bird-chasers, so…but so…and Spinny…the other people on RW’s list who are now officially in existence, they were never…they weren’t ever…as characters, they didn't transmit realms. So, Jiff used this lack of knowledge with RW. RW assumed that at some point, probably due to time passing, they said, okay, it’s time for me to pass over realms. I guess somewhat sensible. But Jiff said, hey, well, this is interesting 'cause we're working with these post-earthly realms. I’m wondering what your main concerns are for it, because I could really use your help. They said, well, what’s in it for us? Jiff said, well, a realm where you're successful, 'cause clearly you're not being successful here, and I can give you access to that realm because you kind of have been not successful.

 

All of you share one…and at first they took object…they said, no, eventually we will be. Jiff said, maybe you're already in a post-earthly existence. They said, what do you…? Jiff said, I can give you…if you want to catch some birds and hang out with some birds, you want to deal with the robin, the giver of coin, if you want to spin and hang with bunnies that like to eat carrots, or all those things that…Jiff says, I can arrange that. This is all what I’ve deduced from listening to this radio station. Very R-A-N…this…he’s really going…it’s a bit like a door without hinges, you know? So, Jiff promised them that and then said, hey, if you do these things…now, I don't know the other…they weren’t listing them, but G and DK were one of the last things. I need you to go get G and DK. ‘Cause they said, what? You want us to go get some young adults from outside The Towns? Well, they worked it out to get them into The Towns. But they said…Jiff said, this is your area of expertise. Yeah.

 

Now, I think Jiff also knew that the realms…moving between realms is not…there’s not a state of permanence, right? So, apparently they said, fine, but we’ll only get…we're only gonna intervene with this…they’ve done other work for Jiff since this whole thing began, and they really wanted to get to the realm and catch whatever they were catching, right? What they found out because they had been communicating…the sheriff was like, well, why don't I go last since I’m kind of…? He’s a bit of RW, you know? He’s like, why don't I make sure…? He was unsure, so he sent everybody else first to the next realm. The successful toons…successful over trickster’s realm, I’ll call it, Diane. He was calling it something else, though. I said, oh, okay, so he’s referring to a realm where toons or toon foils are successful. Turns out, Diane, surprise, surprise…I mean, you're not surprised, Diane…very unfulfilling. Absolutely…it’s kinda like going to the Beige Realm after you have a nice dinner.

 

You have a nice dinner…not that anyone was having dinner, Diane. I don't want you to think that. But they all got what they wanted, which was only one thing, thinking that would fulfill them. Of course, as we learn time and time again with this stuff, Diane, not…the after…the post-earthly existences are not result-based, as much as you want to think they are. So…but it’s not…it’s kind of even not as good, kinda like why RW…'cause RW had some knowledge that…of a fancier existence and then was in the Beige Realm. So, he’s constantly trying to get away. These toons immediately get to their next stage of existence, achieve success…probably not great news for post-earthly realms with those characters that they achieved success over. Diane, I don't want to get into that. I’m only laughing 'cause it’s…I shouldn’t be laughing. So, that’s why I’m laughing, Diane. But so, what was I saying? So, they don't like it because it’s like, they literally have nothing to do.

 

No longer do they have…their rival…so, I’m gonna go in there and talk…I mean, it seems like I’ve got a couple options. So, I’ll be back, Diane. Alright, Diane, I’m back, and G and DK say hello. Great news. G and DK say hello. So, that’s good. We're here at the radio station, and we're trying to figure out…'cause this radio station…I think we could probably use this, 'cause it has so many things. Or maybe not. But it’s also…it’s got a kitchen, it’s got supplies, a cafe. We didn't really need any of the equipment. G and DK are use…oh, 'cause they're using the radio. We're testing out…pretending…sending out information on the radio to earthly humans, post-earthly humans, and Jiff, though I can't quite do the sheriff of Noddingham’s…Nodderingham’s voice. Okay, but so, I talked to the old Nodderingham, and…I went into the radio station and I said, hey, I’m a post-earth…what’s going on here? This Jiff sounds like a real character. I said, tell me more.

 

I’ve been listening to you for, whatever, two or three days. So, I wasn’t totally honest, Diane, at first, or somewhat dishonest. They said, yeah, do you believe this…? I said, oh yeah, tell me more. Oh wow, I could see that it’s really bugging you. What’s gonna happen for you, right? Your friend’s here, and you know this isn’t a good idea. These two earthly humans, they're probably just…they said, yeah, so…so, it was like, oh, you're no longer trying to catch a robin. Now you're trying to catch Jiff. I said…then I came clean somewhat. I said, hey, well, believe it or not, I’m working with someone that’s trying to…we're trying to get Jiff and have a stern talking to, and also, by the way, avoid total reset, 'cause everything he was espousing on the radio was…would lead to total reset, in my opinion. So, first I didn't have a solution. Luckily G and DK were there, and we were able to kinda do some…but so, at first I said, hey, do you know what a total reset is?

 

They're gonna reboot…they didn't really have a reference for it. Lo and behold, G and DK do the eraser symbol. So, we go over to…now, luckily…this was hard 'cause it was computers. I said, well, I’ll just erase some stuff. They said, what, are you erasing words? I don't understand. But we were able to get on the TubesYous and look up…there used to be this Disney animated tour where Robin Williams was playing someone. I think that was it. They showed how an eraser worked, or maybe it was some other Disney thing with a race…toon-related. Then I kinda said…we watched some other things, then we kinda showed them…and they said, that’s the whole of existence. They said, wait a second, what? Now, the sheriff of Nodderingham…just 'cause people think they're smarter than everybody doesn't mean they are smarter than everybody, but it also doesn't mean they're not intelligent, either. So, he had a reasonable amount of intelligence. He said, wait a second, so if I never exist, I never existed.

 

Like, if…and if you don't…if Jiff or RW don't exist, then I don't exist. I don't even go from…and he said, what are we gonna do? Also, what are we gonna do…? This is like…now that I know about our situation and this post-earthly thing, maybe you…maybe this reboot erasing us is better, anyway. I said, no, no, no. One, we're talking about timelessness, and this is where I think RW went…we gotta find a way to redirect this energy again. I told him about Inspector Javert, and he related greatly, obviously, to Inspector Javert. I said, the thing was, Inspector Javert was already a mortal. I said, he was already timeless. He was already in a state of permanence. There’s nothing more permanent than art. He said, well, could we get…? I said, in a sense. If these levels of existence are real, which clearly you're real right now, and your desire to help your fellow toons is real because you feel a deep emotional and maybe even spiritual connection to them; you want to help them, and then you thought they would get what they wanted and they’d be happy, but they're not.

 

But maybe taking the knowledge — and maybe this is the secret knowledge you only needed — that you do serve a purpose here in our world that is timeless, that is permanent, and that by being in your world, in your activity-based…and yeah, it’s frustrating. I would not say futile now that you know the results, that you are art. Oh, by the way, Diane, we also watched Roger Rabbit. I forget in there because time’s different. But I said, see this, the goop or whatever? I said, this is the same thing. It just gave us more stuff. Really great access to this multi-media library here at this Tune Studios, but not T-O-O-N Studios. So, we became friends, and eventually…I said, okay, so, I just gotta explain it…so…but also, I said, we can get them out of those…these false…I said, 'cause Jiff's up to something that’s not permanent, that is an exchange of work and goods and value. They said, isn’t that what art is? I said, yeah, but the result of art is different. I said, I don't know. I don't know the answers.

 

I just know that…I think you going back to doing what you do isn’t a non-positive post-earthly realm, but maybe it takes knowing in your heart of hearts…I don't know if this is what it was like for Moriarty in the drive, or now the Spandex-wearer…but that you are important, that you do serve a purpose, even when you're frustrated and it seems like you never quite…the robin always wins, robin…that you are serving a purpose and you're timeless. At least you could think about it, right? ‘Cause we're still gonna work together. We gotta figure out…RW and James are gonna probably be here soon. But…oh, 'cause they also had the rest of Jiff's list, which I guess at this point we had bigger concerns than Jiff's…or RW’s list that Jiff had had. I said, okay, we're gonna figure this out. Or, we…I’m kinda like you. Then I said, hey, we could share this. I work for this guy, RW. No matter what I do right now, RW’s gonna come in and change things around.

 

But I know we all want what’s best for everybody within a possibility, whether you're a toon, whether you're a earthbound human that lives in The Towns or…like, G and DK live outside The Towns. Whether you're non…whether you're an employee of the…I don't know if ‘employee’ is the right word. We want what’s best for everybody, kind of. Of course we get it mixed up, but I think you were where you were always supposed to be, and your friends, too. So, let’s get them outta there and let’s get this figured out. You say, great. I said great, too. Then we all took a nap here. We're staying here and sleeping. We got cots set up. I’m watching a lot of stuff and getting to know these toons. So, I don't know, Diane, if I’ll have another update or if RW will take over for me from here, but I feel like we're close to either…I mean, if we get rebooted, Diane, it’s been great, 'cause it’s still…even if we get rebooted, I get the idea that it still served a purpose. Alright, Diane, goodnight.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

 

Unguents

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/unguent

https://wordpandit.com/wpt_vocabulary/the-origin-of-unguent-from-past-to-present/

https://guides.library.uab.edu/c.php?g=1048546&p=7609204

 

Economies of Scale / Amortization

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/e/economiesofscale.asp

https://www.santander.com/en/stories/amortization

https://tax.thomsonreuters.com/blog/amortization-in-accounting-101/

 

Looney Tunes

https://www.blackcasediaries.com/season-8/the-case-of-the-looney-tunes

https://www.juliensauctions.com/en/articles/warner-bros-looney-tunes-legacy-journey-through-animation-history

https://mgcollectiblesandtoys.com/impact-looney-tunes-today/

 

Trevi Fountain

https://www.blacktomato.com/us/inspirations/the-history-of-romes-trevi-fountain/

https://www.artandobject.com/news/brief-history-trevi-fountain

https://www.turismoroma.it/en/places/trevi-fountain

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I couldn’t think of anything to say

My sleepy edits

 Utterances

The definition of “”

An episode of Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Coyuchi; Museum Advocacy Day

 

INTRO

I still have  on my mind

The Urgent Unguent, a newsletter

Unguents vs Salves

Has Big Unguent  ever existed?

I guess I’m the biggest unguent of all

I’m here to help out

The Next Great Unguent, my reality show that never went anywhere

Someone is out there rooting for you right now

This show can definitely be grating

Some sort of non-unguent urgency

A fan fiction of a strawberry from the slide of my thigh

Maybe we should actually make a chapbook

Solving Salves

Baffling Balms

Party tricks to perform for your Balm Overlord

Sentient Balms

A planetary vessel for balm beings

I’m certainly verbose even though I don’t understand half the words I say

No pressure to fall asleep to this show

I’ll be here

Explaining the show structure

Balm-Based Beings

Balm Base, come in

Something familiar and something different

 

STORY

Welcome to our episodically modular series

I’m here to tell you what’s going on and meet you where you are

Explaining Episodically Modular

You can listen in any order

Last episode was a true blue recap

Navigating the beige world

The Mid World

Richard Warren (RW) and James Cash (JC)

This is parody fiction satire, by the way

Titans of retail

They become aware of Jiff Besos

RW doesn’t like Jiff

RW gave Jiff a list of people whose post-earthly fate he wanted to change

He tried to save Inspector Javert

Navigating non-positive post-Earthly realms

The universe is surprisingly resilient

Jiff has the only copy of the list

Jiff has also been restructuring all post-Earthly existences

Economies of Scale and Amortization

PI will catch us up on more soon

I’m in a New York State State of Mind

Antonio has arrived

The leafs made more than peeps when he arrived

Traveling on solar energy

He traveled across the country on a large, wind-up car with a fan in the back

This might be his first and last time recording in the non-insulated mudroom

Antonio’s introduction

We’ll be peeping autumnal leaves soon

Auditory Peeping vs the Sound of Peeps

Can leaves peep themselves?

The ecstasy of Antonio’s gaze

Great news for leafs everywhere

Okay, here we go

PI begins

I don’t have a lot of answers here

I’m by myself currently

We went through the portal

I’m in Florida, near the Towns

Lilith departed

Jiff got away

Time works differently in Chaos City

People have decided to stay in Florida

It’s like twinning or invisible friending

They become residents of the person carrying them around

Regular people are aware of this happening

Professional dustbusters from around the world are here to study it

The official story is that there’s a sewer gas problem

I’m trying to sneak from The Towns to G and DK

The Towns is very well-gated

I’ve been observing some dustbusters

They don’t have a way to charge their batteries

Okay I’ll be back

And I’m back

I went to G and DK’s house

I have a note from them

Something seemed a little off in their house

I’m going to meet them at the Trevi Steps

I’m hiding again

Trevi Steps is a combo of the Spanish Steps and the Trevi Fountain

The world’s largest marble escalator (that’s also solar-powered)

Then the person who runs this state canceled it because of “daytime light pollution”

The Trevi Fountain x 1000

It’s very shiny, slick, and mythological

I’m hiding in the fountain right now

One of these groups was trying to catch me

Heading towards the Big Bang 2.0

Or the Re-Big Bang

It would be a full reset

Reformatting the Universe’s Hard Drive

Resetting Eternity

Okay, anyway I’m hiding right now

I knew G and DK wrote the note, but something was off

Is this the place with the most tritons, too?

Trite Tritons

G and DK had made a V-Style Trident

A wet piece of paper was stuck there

Written in Eternal non-Earthly Ink (ENEI)

This was Jiff’s list!

Shriff Nodderingham

Will E Coyote

10 Gallon Mustache

Fuddy Fudrucker

Spinny Doc

Oh, RW wrote this list

Some of them are toons! Mostly from one toon universe

Oh, I can put a costume on to hide!

I’m gonna look for people dressed up as these toons

Back after a break

I’m dressed as a carrot

I tried to find trick or treaters but it didn’t work

Wow, I actually just ran out of tape for the first time

Vehement about toons

Someone was telling me about WTOON

WTOON, the radio station with a lack of toons

The Lack of Toons on the Tune

The Sheriff of Noderingham was just on the radio

An 86 hour op-ed on the radio

It’s just one of those radio stations where the guy just riffs forever

Where is WTOON? I need to get there!

At the Towns Studios

They’ve got everything there

That’s my next piece of information

I did listen to that radio op-ed, btw

Sheriff is very unhappy with Jiff

He lays out his own plan of promises

G and DK are guests there, currently

I’m not clear on Jiff’s motives

Jiff is using RW’s approach in some sense

Jiff promised these toons a realm where they could be successful

Jiff needs the toons to go get G and DK

The Successful Tricksters’ Realm

Turns out, success for these toons is very unfulfilling

They all got what they wanted, which was not actually fulfilling

Post-Earthly Existences are not result-based

Now, they have nothing left to do

Okay, PI is back

G and DK say hello

We’re here at the radio station now

This station has everything

I talked to Old Nodderingham about Jiff

How can we get Jiff and avoid a total reset?

I didn’t have a solution

But luckily G and DK were there

We got on the Tubes You’s

We saw a toon tutorial with Robin Williams

I explain the full reset to the Sheriff

We’re talking about Timelessness

Sheriff relates to Inspector Javert

You’re already timeless!

Art is the most permanent thing

You deserve a purpose here, artistic being

Oh, we also watched Roger Rabbit

We can fix this

Jiff is up to something that isn’t really art

Go back to do what you do, even if it’s in your non-positive post-earthly realm

Even when you’re frustrated, you do serve a purpose

And you’ll always be timeless

RW and JC will probably be here soon

Let’s save your friends and let’s get this figured out

We’ll sleep for now, though

Thanks for listening, Diane

We’re close

I hope we don’t get rebooted

Even if we do get rebooted, we still served a purpose

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1420

Title: Trevi Steps to Toons | Get Besos in the Sky PI 18

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Coyuchi; Museum Advocacy Day

Notable Language:

• Unguent Utterances
• Urgent Unguent
• Non-Unguent Urgency
• Solving Salves
• Baffling Balms
• Sentient Balms
• Balm-Based Beings
• Non-Positive Post-Earthly Realms
• Amortization
• Auditory Peeping
• Daytime Light Pollution
• The Trevi Fountain x 1000
• Re-Big Bang
• Resetting Eternity
• Trite Tritons
• V-Style Trident
• Eternal non-Earthly Ink (ENEI)
• Ten Gallon Mustache
• D-A-R-N
• The Lack of Toons on the Tune
• The Successful Tricksters’ Realm

 

Notable Culture:

• Get Besos

• Big Farm in the Sky PI

• • The Urgent Unguent, a newsletter
  • The Next Great Unguent, a reality show
  • Sears
  • JC Penney
  • Amazon

• Les Miserables

• • Antonio Banderas
  • Doctor Seuss

• Being John Malkovich

• Ghostbusters

• • The Towns
  • Spanish Steps
  • Trevi Fountain
  • Looney Tunes

• I Think You Should Leave – Tim Robinson

• • WTOON
  • YouTube
  • Robin Williams

• Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

 

Notable Talking Points:

• I still have  on my mind
• The Urgent Unguent, a newsletter
• Unguents vs Salves
• Has Big Unguent  ever existed?
• I guess I’m the biggest unguent of all
• I’m here to help out
• The Next Great Unguent, my reality show that never went anywhere
• Someone is out there rooting for you right now
• This show can definitely be grating
• Some sort of non-unguent urgency
• A fan fiction of a strawberry from the slide of my thigh
• Maybe we should actually make a chapbook
• Solving Salves
• Baffling Balms
• Party tricks to perform for your Balm Overlord
• Sentient Balms
• A planetary vessel for balm beings
• I’m certainly verbose even though I don’t understand half the words I say
• No pressure to fall asleep to this show
• I’ll be here
• Explaining the show structure
• Balm-Based Beings
• Balm Base, come in
• Something familiar and something different
• Welcome to our episodically modular series
• I’m here to tell you what’s going on and meet you where you are
• Explaining Episodically Modular
• You can listen in any order
• Last episode was a true blue recap
• Navigating the beige world
• The Mid World
• Richard Warren (RW) and James Cash (JC)
• This is parody fiction satire, by the way
• Titans of retail
• They become aware of Jiff Besos
• RW doesn’t like Jiff
• RW gave Jiff a list of people whose post-earthly fate he wanted to change
• He tried to save Inspector Javert
• Navigating non-positive post-Earthly realms
• The universe is surprisingly resilient
• Jiff has the only copy of the list
• Jiff has also been restructuring all post-Earthly existences
• Economies of Scale and Amortization
• PI will catch us up on more soon
• I’m in a New York State State of Mind
• Antonio has arrived
• The leafs made more than peeps when he arrived
• Traveling on solar energy
• He traveled across the country on a large, wind-up car with a fan in the back
• This might be his first and last time recording in the non-insulated mudroom
• Antonio’s introduction
• We’ll be peeping autumnal leaves soon
• Auditory Peeping vs the Sound of Peeps
• Can leaves peep themselves?
• The ecstasy of Antonio’s gaze
• Great news for leafs everywhere
• Okay, here we go
• PI begins
• I don’t have a lot of answers here
• I’m by myself currently
• We went through the portal
• I’m in Florida, near the Towns
• Lilith departed
• Jiff got away
• Time works differently in Chaos City
• People have decided to stay in Florida
• It’s like twinning or invisible friending
• They become residents of the person carrying them around
• Regular people are aware of this happening
• Professional dustbusters from around the world are here to study it
• The official story is that there’s a sewer gas problem
• I’m trying to sneak from The Towns to G and DK
• The Towns is very well-gated
• I’ve been observing some dustbusters
• They don’t have a way to charge their batteries
• Okay I’ll be back
• And I’m back
• I went to G and DK’s house
• I have a note from them
• Something seemed a little off in their house
• I’m going to meet them at the Trevi Steps
• I’m hiding again
• Trevi Steps is a combo of the Spanish Steps and the Trevi Fountain
• The world’s largest marble escalator (that’s also solar-powered)
• Then the person who runs this state canceled it because of “daytime light pollution”
• The Trevi Fountain x 1000
• It’s very shiny, slick, and mythological
• I’m hiding in the fountain right now
• One of these groups was trying to catch me
• Heading towards the Big Bang 2.0
• Or the Re-Big Bang
• It would be a full reset
• Reformatting the Universe’s Hard Drive
• Resetting Eternity
• Okay, anyway I’m hiding right now
• I knew G and DK wrote the note, but something was off
• Is this the place with the most tritons, too?
• Trite Tritons
• G and DK had made a V-Style Trident
• A wet piece of paper was stuck there
• Written in Eternal non-Earthly Ink (ENEI)
• This was Jiff’s list!
• Shriff Nodderingham
• Will E Coyote
• 10 Gallon Mustache
• Fuddy Fudrucker
• Spinny Doc
• Oh, RW wrote this list
• Some of them are toons! Mostly from one toon universe
• Oh, I can put a costume on to hide!
• I’m gonna look for people dressed up as these toons
• Back after a break
• I’m dressed as a carrot
• I tried to find trick or treaters but it didn’t work
• Wow, I actually just ran out of tape for the first time
• Vehement about toons
• Someone was telling me about WTOON
• WTOON, the radio station with a lack of toons
• The Lack of Toons on the Tune
• The Sheriff of Noderingham was just on the radio
• An 86 hour op-ed on the radio
• It’s just one of those radio stations where the guy just riffs forever
• Where is WTOON? I need to get there!
• At the Towns Studios
• They’ve got everything there
• That’s my next piece of information
• I did listen to that radio op-ed, btw
• Sheriff is very unhappy with Jiff
• He lays out his own plan of promises
• G and DK are guests there, currently
• I’m not clear on Jiff’s motives
• Jiff is using RW’s approach in some sense
• Jiff promised these toons a realm where they could be successful
• Jiff needs the toons to go get G and DK
• The Successful Tricksters’ Realm
• Turns out, success for these toons is very unfulfilling
• They all got what they wanted, which was not actually fulfilling
• Post-Earthly Existences are not result-based
• Now, they have nothing left to do
• Okay, PI is back
• G and DK say hello
• We’re here at the radio station now
• This station has everything
• I talked to Old Nodderingham about Jiff
• How can we get Jiff and avoid a total reset?
• I didn’t have a solution
• But luckily G and DK were there
• We got on the Tubes You’s
• We saw a toon tutorial with Robin Williams
• I explain the full reset to the Sheriff
• We’re talking about Timelessness
• Sheriff relates to Inspector Javert
• You’re already timeless!
• Art is the most permanent thing
• You deserve a purpose here, artistic being
• Oh, we also watched Roger Rabbit
• We can fix this
• Jiff is up to something that isn’t really art
• Go back to do what you do, even if it’s in your non-positive post-earthly realm
• Even when you’re frustrated, you do serve a purpose
• And you’ll always be timeless
• RW and JC will probably be here soon
• Let’s save your friends and let’s get this figured out
• We’ll sleep for now, though
• Thanks for listening, Diane
• We’re close
• I hope we don’t get rebooted
• Even if we do get rebooted, we still served a purpose