1404 – Grammarian Guard | All Intros 969 – 972

Episode 1404 – Grammarian Guard | All Intros 969 – 972

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and all, get ready, get set, bakers, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. My patron peeps…what up, my patron peeps? How are all of you? You might be saying, what in the name of…what in the…? Is this show…? Would you consider this show a double-aught flour or a whole-wheat flour or a alternative non-wheat flour, all-purpose flour? I’d say, well, if I had to call my…for me, I’m…my preferred flour is rye flour. Or, what was the name of that skunk? Wasn’t there a skunk called Flower once upon a time? I mean, you know what it…? Flowery, flowering, flowery prose is what’s coming at you. Like a poof of flour before you touch that dough, it’s time for Sleep With Me. If you're looking for something that makes sense, I don't know. What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether…so, if it’s thoughts…things on your mind that you’re thinking about, about the past, present, or future, or yourself, or…oh boy, or all those things. So, it could be thoughts. It could be feelings or emotions coming up for you or that are already there that could be remains from the day. Was that a book and a film? The Remains of the Day.

 

I remember that must have won some Oscars at some point. I said, that seems like too much of a serious…is that one of those movies that…? And I don’t know…that I said…is that one that I’ll have trouble sitting still for? What’s the run time on that? Will I be asking myself how much time remains in Remains of the Day? Will it be exacerbated by my…if I…will I have to hide my device so I can pay attention and will I thinking about…? Oh yeah, you’re right; I’m sorry. So, oh, it…oh, it could be feelings from the remains of the day, it could be anticipatory feelings, it could be physical sensations. Whatever is keeping you awake…hopefully I’ll come back to that…whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to distract you from that and take your mind off of that, keep you company, really, as you fall asleep.

 

What I propose to do, as I said, is create a safe place. Ideally, just…a safe place means there’s no expectations on your end from me. I don’t expect much of you. I guess I said that in a way like someone that’s already…already disappointed. Oh, boy. Sorry about that. That’s just my natural…what is that? Eeyore? That Eeyore part of me. But I do mean there’s no pressure on you. Well, we’ll get to that, but I mean…you know what I mean if you’re a regular listener. If you’re new, you don’t. That’s why I’m trying to over-explain it. But a safe place means you don’t really have to do much. This is here for you, and I don’t know what else…I got mixed up. But what I’ll also do is I’ll rub it, I’ll pat it, I’ll say safe place. Then I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’ll use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…so, I’ll go off-topic, I’ll get mixed up, I’m gonna use filler words, pregnant pause…well, not pregnant pauses. I’ll use pauses that normally you’d say, is that a pregnant pause? You say, nope, no. It’s just a pause, just a…overwrought pause? I don’t know. But here’s the thing; if you’re new, I’m glad you’re here. Let me give you some information about the show, because like I said, there’s…I want to respect your expectations and also try to work with them, because if you’ve…if this is your first time listening to the show, it’s like, oh boy, what is this? What have I already listened to? ‘Cause structurally…I don’t normally start to talk about this upfront, but the show is very different structurally.

 

It starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and bake…Star Bakers. Every baker is a Star Baker in my book, and that does not…whatever. Just because…whatever. I don’t want to get into a debate about…how many Star Bakers can there be? I’d say, well, as many as I’d like. You’re the Star Baker, asking that question. You’re a double Star Baker. But that goes to the…oh, well, the structure of the show. So, it starts off with that so you know you’re welcome. Then there’s business. That’s how we’re able to bring you the podcast twice a week for free and not part of a paid service. That’s about four, six minutes long, the business. I don’t even think…that’s mixed in with also the supporter business, which is to support you as a listener.

 

Then there’s an intro, which we’ve just started. The intro’s around sixteen to twenty minutes long. Really no business in the intro, though sometimes people…when they don’t like the structure of the show, they…I don’t know, they don’t notice that really, the intro is a slow wind-down where I try to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully. I’m not able to do it in a concise and quick way, but it also serves the purpose of getting some distance from the remains of the day. I’m just…I don’t even know right now if Remains of the Day came out…I want to say one of the Irons was in it, Jeremy…well, okay, I guess Michael Ironside is…could be one of the Irons, though Jeremy Irons and Michael Ironside…I don’t think Michael Ironside was in it. Probably Jeremy Irons could have been in it, or is it Jeffrey Irons?

 

Jeffrey Lyons may have reviewed the show…movie. But I don’t know if that movie came out 80…70s, 80s, 90s, aughts, whatever they’re calling the thing between ten and twenty, and then…so, I don’t know. I say, well, when did that movie come out? I have no idea. Who’s that, Jim Caviezel? I don’t know how to say his name. I say, well, he could be in it, but probably not. Helen Mirren…you’d say, if a movie was named Remains of the Day and it was made between…in the mid 90s to present day, I’d say, well, I’d put a 70% chance Helen Mirren was in it, and that’s why it was so successful, but I don’t know. If it was before…I’d say before 1998…I’m not sure. I’m trying to think…you say, well…well, if it was…not that these two are related, but I’d say, before 1998 and if it was called Remains of the Day, I’d say Robert Redford was probably in it, maybe.

 

You’d say, the…why…? I don’t know why. Just part of my movie brain is saying, well, yeah. It was a Oscar-winner or up for an Oscar…it just sounds like it would be. Sounds like one of those languid movies, though. You say, what’s…? So, tell me about the movie. Well, it takes place in a country estate, and there’s a lot of feelings. There’s something that happens and then people deal with that, and then they…changes people, then they have to deal with their changes. Not everyone’s straightforward about it, then someone returns from a journey. Someone else goes on a journey. There’s a lot of eating in rooms with great sunlight. That’s Remains…I don’t know. That’s my made-up review of Remains of the Day. Oh, what remains of this…explaining what the podcast is?

 

So, the intro goes on and on and on so that you get some distance from the day. It eases you into bedtime. So, if you’re new, it’s definitely strange because you say, when’s the podcast start? When is he gonna get to a point? As you become a regular listener, you realize, oh, never. You say, Remains of the Day is my favorite movie. It was an action movie. I’d say, really? Well, no, it was a movie…it moved me, I guess you’d say. I’d say, sorry; I wasn’t making fun of it. I was just trying to remember…I don’t remember much, anyway. Okay, but so, the intro goes on and on and on so that you ease into bedtime or as you get ready for bed, it just, yeah, gets…yeah, whatever. It helps let the day remain where it was, in the past. Don’t worry, I’ll look it up in a few minutes, after I record this, if I remember.

 

A lot of times, just like when people wake up, I’ll stop recording. I’ll be like, what was I thinking about in that intro? I don’t know. I won’t listen to this for a few months; I record it months before it comes out. Anyway, so that’s Remains…oh, so that’s the intro. Then there’s business. That’s how podcast structure works, so the business is there to keep the show free. Then there’s our episode we’ll be running through, Great British Bake Off Baking Show, and talking about that in a very meandering and indirect and slow and enjoyable way. Then there’s thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show. A couple other things to talk about if you’re new…one is if you’re skeptical or doubtful, I mean, the structure can be a part of that, but also the expectations.

 

One, I don’t expect you to listen to this show, though you may at first try to do that. You can just kinda barely listen…is the best way to do it. You’d say…yeah, I don’t know. I was trying to think of a metaphor or something…I could use Remains of the Day. But kind of like in my brain; when I’m trying to remember Remains of the Day, the main thing I remember is that it was a lauded film…lauded…I think, and that…the name of it. Then I just picture — and I’m not kidding — I picture a field of wheat with the sun and maybe some lens flare, maybe one of those things that you blow on and you make a wish; dandelion fluff, and maybe just in the distance a farm house or something, or a barn. Or it could be that but a stone country estate, ‘cause you say, oh no, it takes place in England. Oh, okay, so there’s an estate there.

 

So, that’s what I mean by barely listening. At some point I was barely paying attention when that was…I probably watched the Oscars. It may have won Best Film. You say, Scoots, isn’t this your favorite actresses and…don’t you love Helen Mirren? Well, she wasn’t in that movie. I say, oh, okay. I mean, maybe they would have won double Oscars if she was in it. Also, there’s no one named Jeremy Ironside. I’d say, are you sure? On the planet, or you mean an actor? What about Jenny Ironside? If I ever have a personal trainer, that’s who I’d like to be my personal trainer, Jenny Ironside. Jenny Irons? No, it’s not easy to say. I’ll have to think…Tammy Ironside? Anyway, so…oh, don’t really listen to this podcast. I think I made that point. Also, the strange thing is this podcast is not really here to put you to sleep.

 

It’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep. That’s why the shows are about an hour, is just to give you plenty of time to drift off. If you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to the very end for you. So, whether you’re awake or asleep, I’m here to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie. I’m here. I’m here for you. So, that’s why I’m here. I’m here to keep you company as you drift off but, if you’re awake or you wake back up or whatever, I’m here to keep you company, too. So, it’s kind of like a dual role. Then…what’s that? Oh, I forgot…don’t need to listen to me, no pressure to fall asleep…oh, give the show a few tries; that’s the other thing, and I don’t say this out of desperation or need or anything.

 

I just say it because almost everybody that regularly listens to the show says give it two or three tries because it’s different, and that’s okay. It’s also okay if you don’t like it. That’s one of the things I like to point out is important, too. The show is here to try to put you to sleep, but it doesn’t put everybody to sleep. It’s both an acquired taste…and when it’s an acquired taste, it’s just not for everybody. But I hope it’s for you, and the best way to find out is to not listen to it and not listen to it two or three tries…two or three times, ‘cause I don’t really gain anything with the number of listeners. It’s just the number of listeners that are actively involved in the show, so it’s not anything crafty.

 

In fact, I don’t know if…I haven’t kept up the website, but I used to have a website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and I should probably update it with more…other sleep podcasts that you could check out if you’re looking for something and Sleep With Me does not work for you. But it should still be up and it should have good options. What else? Don’t need to listen to me, no pressure to fall asleep, the show’s very different, not everybody likes it, it’s okay to be skeptical or doubtful. The reason I make the show is because I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s really what it comes down to. You deserve a place you could rest, and along with that, if you get some rest, you’re gonna be able to live your life a little bit more.

 

Your life will be a little bit more manageable or pleasurable, and then our world’s gonna be a better place. You say, well, pish-posh. I say, no, that’s true. I know how it feels. I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, all those things. So, I know how it feels, and so, if I can help you, it would really be my honor. Because I say, well, I know what it’s like to dread bedtime, and I want to make a podcast…and my goal with the show is that you say, well, I’m not…well, I got bedtime coming up; at least I got Scoots there, and hopefully he’s…he is actually going on IMDB right now to just ease my mind, which he doesn’t normally do, and type in Remains of the Day. Remains of the Day. Oh boy, I was close. So, Anthony Hopkins is in it, and Emma Thompson.

 

Christopher Reeve…yeah, and it looks like the cover is of Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson. Let’s see if it was based on a book or something. I don’t know, but yeah, let’s see. Oh yeah, it was…it was…it’s James Ivory. I don’t know if it was a Merchant Ivory movie. I guess so. What was that? 1990…what year did I say? 1993. So, oh yeah, I got…well, I’ll just turn my phone…I was gonna look up…I think it’s based on a novel. But anyway, so, I’m here…oh, to go off topic just like I just did, to keep you company because I really want to help you fall asleep. So, give it a few tries. I really appreciate you coming by and checking the show out. I really hope I can help you. I really…I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to bring you this podcast twice a week on the regular.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be, you know, things you’re thinking about on your mind that could be from the past, present, or future, it could be physical…physical sensations, it could be feelings related to the physical sensations or the thoughts or just feelings that are there, changes in time or temperature or routine, or something else; work schedule…I don’t know, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake.

 

When I say ‘I don’t know’, I mean I don’t know. It’s important, but it’s important for me to be here to keep you company and take your mind off of it, too. So, that’s what my job is. The way I’m gonna do it or I propose to do it is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, and I’m gonna go off-topic and get mixed up, and, you know, talk about something way too much, and…kinda like…I don’t know if that’s what the Hokey Pokey’s like. I know I’ve talked about the Hokey Pokey before, but this podcast…here’s the thing…and I say, wait a second, the tarnished past of the Hokey Pokey probably is out there, but…was that game supposed to teach us something? I guess this was the eighties when I was doing it.

 

I say, yeah, blind allegiance to authority figures, Scoots. I say, well, then that makes sense. I guess that they…that fits the time period and…’cause you say, it was some authority; whoever had the microphone. Most of the time I was doing the Hokey Pokey was at roller…like, at a roller-skating birthday party or fundraiser, and you would do the Hokey Pokey there. I have no idea how you could actually do it, but apparently I did. Maybe that was…well, maybe I was…I mean, I definitely am a different person I am today than I was now. Then, I wasn’t even a person; I was a child, but I don’t think…’cause you put your right foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your right foot in, then you shake it all about.

 

You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, and that’s…well…so, I was thinking, oh yeah, it’s like, hey, just follow along. But now I’m saying at bedtime it could feel like that. That’s what it’s all about; you’re turning all around, tossing, turning. But whatever it is, if you’re new, I want to give you some info, because my regular listeners say, Scoots, I love it when you talk about skating parties and then you get mixed up and then it is hard for you to…it’s hard for me to imagine you on four wheels or two wheels. I’d say, yeah, it’s hard for me. I scarcely believe it. But so, oh, if you’re new, I’m glad you’re here. Let me give you some information. If you’re new and you’re skeptical or you’re doubtful or you’re not sure about this show, that’s totally normal. That’s how most people arrive at this podcast.

 

Maybe you heard about it from somebody or a list somewhere or maybe you were just searching for a podcast to put you to sleep or take your mind off of stuff. That’s what I do, but it’s kind of like calling a friend across the deep, dark night, and you say, can you just talk to me about some nonsense for a while, like in a friendly voice to keep me company while I fall asleep? That’s what I’m here to do. So, essentially, I’m not really here to put you to…to be listened to. You could listen at any point. You can listen along and I’ll be keeping you company for as long as you need to, but the listening is optional. But also, I’m not really here to put you to sleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh, and to keep you company while you fall asleep.

 

So, those are two things if you’re new, and it’s a very common experience not to like the show when you first get here or not to like it at all. That’s totally cool. This show is not for everybody, so no pressure. No pressure to listen, no pressure to fall asleep, no pressure to like me or the podcast. Just see how it goes. Maybe be like, well, let me see if I can get used to this or not. That’s what literally hundreds of thousands of people have said; it took two or three tries before I got used to the show. So, it’s okay, and it’s okay if you don’t get used to it. There’s other podcasts you could check out at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That’s a list of other great sleep podcasts and other things I use to take my mind off stuff. So, let’s see, those are those two things.

 

Other things that can throw new listeners off other than creaky…what are creaky, dulcet tones? Well, a voice that’s neither pleasant nor unpleasant, but on the unpleasant side of…you say, well, yeah. That’s creaky, dulcet tones. Pointless meanders…I think I’ve already demonstrated that. Structure of the show can throw new people off, and that’s totally normal, too. Our structure is very different. The structure’s very intentional because the goal of the podcast is to ease you into bedtime and to be here for you on a reliable basis twice a week. So, let’s see, so what can I tell you about that? Oh, structure of the show.

 

So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcome and you know this show ideally is built on…as I learn more and more about being empathetic and compassionate…like, hopefully that becomes a stronger and stronger foundation of the podcast. Then there’s support for listeners, then there’s support so the podcast can be here for free from sponsors and listener-type stuff, then there’s the intro. Now, this is where…the business throws some people off, but some people think the business just carries on to the intro, but really the intro starts on six, eight minutes into the show and goes on and on and on for somewhere between ten and twenty minutes. The intro’s purpose is to ease you into bedtime.

 

It’s for new listeners to say, okay, I kind of barely understand what he’s talking about of what to expect, and I think he’s mentioned…you know, self-care, not to try to conquer self-care, not to try to conquer sleep, but to ease us into bedtime. So, the intro is a way to get some distance from the day. But the regular listeners…as you become a regular listener, if you do, you kinda work it…or you change it up. Listeners change up how they use the show all the time, so these are just some examples. So, the majority of people wind down during the intro, whether they’re getting ready for bed, you know, brushing their teeth, brushing their hair, brushing their pets, maybe even brushing your tub. Give your tub a brush. I mean, one, you might like it, and two, it might be relaxing.

 

Maybe not though, ‘cause you say, a light brushing. Maybe do some…I don’t know. Maybe that’s not the best idea, ‘cause I’d say, that’s more of a scrub, Scoots. I’d say, yeah, that’s what my tub said. I’d prefer a scrub than a brush. So…but maybe you’re brushing something else. I don’t know. Trying to think of other things you’d brush that would be pleasant. Maybe brush your rug. That could be a thing. How come…there’s a lot of soothing things people don’t know about. You say, rug brushing…oh, to clean your rugs? No, no, no. Have you never brushed a rug before? Holy moly. What kinda rug you got? Doesn’t matter. Don’t answer it, because it could be…if you…what kinda brush you have? Oh boy, are you in for a treat. Oh, you don’t have a rug? You got a floor?

 

Oh man, you got the…you got a side of a…you ever brushed the side of your sofa? Oh man, it’s one of those things I’ve never tried but I’ve imagined I’ve tried it, and it was so chill. Sounds terribly boring and…yeah. Oh no, well, I do it while I’m listening to a sleep podcast and I’m unwinding. So, I don’t know, other listeners are in bed getting comfortable and drifting off, other people are stretching or doodling or doing a craft. A small percentage of listeners are falling asleep. Oh, so cozy. He looks so cozy there, oh boy.

 

Two to three percent of listeners skip ahead about twenty minutes and start the show there ‘cause they want to be closer to where the story starts, and then on Patreon it’s a little bit easier for people that listen all night long or like story-only episodes or like all-intro episodes, and then there’s some people that are starting the show in the middle of the night when they get up. So, hello. Good eve…good re-evening to you. We’ll have to think of a good greeting for that. If you’re…listen to this let me know, ‘cause goodnight…nighty-night. Maybe that’s what you say after midnight. Instead of saying goodnight, you say nighty-night. Nighty-night blight…I don’t know. I can’t think of any words…empowering words that rhyme with that, but…so, my brain…that was just a long pause. I tried to think of something.

 

I said, all my words are…the only silly word I could think of is tighty-whites, but everything else…I say, well, that’s not very sleepy, and tighty-whites aren’t super sleepy, either. Well, tidy ones would be. You say oh boy, your tighty-whities are tidy. Anyway, so, that’s the way the intro kinda…for most people, it eases you into bedtime as part of your wind-down. You’re not necessarily…you don’t necessarily need to fall asleep to it. You could, but it’s designed to give you some distance from the day and the night. Then there’s our…more business. That’s just where a lot of companies like it, between the intro and the story, and then we’ll start our bedtime story. Tonight it’s gonna be a crossover episode, so it’ll be really, really fun.

 

If you ever wanted to check it…the podcast out, it’s called The Quiet Journeys of Professor Atwood. We’ll be covering Episode 5. But it’s just another sleep-style podcast, chill bedtime stories kind of on a Sleep With Me Level; a little bit silly, a little bit immersive. So, that’s The Quiet Journeys of Professor Atwood, and we’ll be doing Episode 5 tonight, In the Songass National Forest. So, that’ll be our story, then the show ends with some thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show. The other really important thing for you to know other than it’s okay not to like the show — just give it a few tries and that that doesn’t work for everybody — is that the reason I make the show is because I know how it feels tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.

 

Yeah, I’ve had it all and other ones, too. Yeah, I don’t want to get into it, but…so, if I can help you, whatever you’re going through, get some rest or take your mind off of it or keep you company if you can’t sleep, that’s really important to me. That goes deeper; on the second level is your sleep is important. You deserve a good night’s sleep, and if I can help, that makes our world a better place. If you can face the day with a little more energy tomorrow, that’s great and that’s powerful. Or if this becomes part of your routine or you graduate from the podcast and you develop your own sleep routine, that’s amazing. So, I’m really glad you’re here. I really hope the podcast can help you. Give it a few tries. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep, and here are the ways I’m able to do it for you free twice a week. Thanks.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is keep you company while you fall asleep, so…and take your mind off of whatever’s keeping you awake. I guess I got mixed up already, so I’m not sure where in the intro I am. But what I’m gonna attempt to do is take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake, so whether that’s thoughts…and the reason I got mixed up, honestly, is that I had a thought pop in my head.

 

So it could be thoughts from the past, present or future, it could be feelings or emotions related to those thoughts, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine. Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I would like to take your mind off of that and keep you company while you fall asleep. What I propose to do or what I’m going to attempt to do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night here. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. Creaky like a door, creaky like a floor, creaky that you could ignore, creak…a creaker who’s a bore, and my rhymes you may have to endure because once I get started, it becomes a bit of a chore. Oh, boy. But, you know, I’m here to empower your rest and a snore or to help you counter someone else’s snoring over there, bub.

 

But whatever it is, so…oh, so if you’re new…regular listeners, how about that rhyme? That was pretty…you could say…how many people say, well, that was a mediocre rhyme? I say, thanks. Not many people are proud of mediocre rhyming. You say, well, ‘cause it can’t really be…here’s a part of my brain that says, but it can’t be…that’s ’cause it’s impossible. Something either rhymes or it does not rhyme, Scooter. I’d say, really? Are you…? I forgot what the word was that I was gonna say is your role. It’s like a grammarian, but it’s different. What if you were…if you were in Star Wars, could you be a Grammarian guard? Then I guess you’d be guarding grammar. Is that what you’re doing now? No, I was just saying that…I don’t know.

 

You don’t have to call your…you just say it was an attempt at rhyming versus a mediocre rhyme. But wasn’t it kinda rhyming? Doesn’t…? But you changed the word. Okay, I gotta get back to the show. Thank you, though. Thanks…really, I mean, thanks for taking a second to point that out to me. No problem. That’s what I’m here for. Great. So, regular listeners, there’s another brainbot of mine, Grammarian guard. Star Wars fans unite. Okay, so, if you’re new, that’s what I wanted to tell you. I wanted to give you some information. Since you’re new, I’m glad you’re here. The thing is, I really am glad you’re here. You may not be glad to be here at first, which is totally normal and understandable. You might be doubtful, unsure, skeptical. You might say, what is this? That’s a very understandable way to come to the show.

 

I totally get it and totally understand that. That’s how most people get here. You say, wait a second, this guy’s just gonna talk…Grammarian guard? You say, yeah, like the…they’re not Gramorian guards either, Scoots. I’d say, really? Are you sure they’re not Gramorian guards? You’re right, it doesn’t sound right. After saying Grammarian guard, nothing sounds right. I’m the guarder of the Grammarians. Well, who are the Grammarians? They’re a people…actually yeah, ‘cause…does a Gramorian guard…? If it’s…if it is a Gramorian guard or a Grammarian guard…you say no, no, no, that’s not who I am. I’m not…I’m a…are you a guard that happens to be Grammarian or are you someone who guards Grammarians? Right? ‘Cause wouldn’t you think…? Like, you got the Queen’s Guard.

 

That would be probably…I think that’s…there’s something called the Queen’s Guard, right? I would assume that their job is to guard the queen. Well, let’s just say there was someone whose job was to guard the butter; they’d be…I would think you’d call them the butter guards, right? Boy, talk about an honor. I didn’t even think about this, but you say, wait, you’re a butter guard? Holy…yeah, I guard the butter sculptures. Yeah, I know. It’s something I’ve dreamed of. I never thought I’d meet a butter guard in person, but I’m kinda speechless. Weren’t you at the beginning of a podcast intro? Yeah, I went off way topic because…or way off-topic because I just got…first, I got mixed up about one thing. That was a superfluous tangent.

 

Then this is kind of a pointless meander but not really, because I said, well, wait a second, if they’re…are they Gramorians that are guards? That’s different. Somebody get the SAT…well, here’s an idea Disney, Star Wars, Lucasfilm; how about a branded SAT or ACT? Optional. Doesn’t make the test any easier or harder. We could do a Marvel one, too, but it’s themed. You say, do you want to take an SAT that’s themed or un-themed? You say, well, what’s the advantage? Oh, the themed SATs cost $200 more, but they’re themed. Makes it seem less like a test and more like taking something you like and…but yeah, we have…we invented it because of the great Gramorian guard debate that got started in 2021 or something. Scooter wanted to make it into another one of his illogical logic questions. If a guard guards Grammarians, is it a Grammarian guard?

 

We have a Grammarian guard. Does it a) guard Grammarians B) happen to be a Grammarian who is a guard c) neither; it is an official title thought up by the Hutts. You say probably c). Actually, I guess it’s c). It has nothing to do with who they are or what they guard. Okay, alright. Well, moving on, then. We solved that…we didn’t even need a Grammarian to sell that. So…okay, so, if you’re new here and you’re doubtful, I think you’re even more doubtful now. That’s good because this show is a  podcast you barely listen to. Eventually…I know right now you might be kinda listening and saying what in the…what in the holy…what in the May the Fourth is this person talking about? I’d say, yeah, he’s May the Fourthing at his mouth. I’d say, you’re right about that. I don’t even know when this episode’s coming out.

 

Hopefully in May. But yeah, this podcast is very different so that eventually on your second or third listen you say, oh, I just barely pay attention to him. Okay, I get it now. Now I understand. There’s not really…it’s trying to comprehend something that’s nearly incomprehensible. It’s trying to listen to a person who can’t comprehend things…make something incomprehensible in order to comprehend it. I say, exactly. That’s exactly what the show is like. What a deft way to put it. That’s really accurate. So, that’s one thing. This is a podcast you don’t listen to. Kinda look at it like you look at clouds or leaves and trees or wind in the upper branches, or listen like the sounds of the summer night. That’s one thing. The other thing is this podcast really doesn’t put you to sleep.

 

It’s more here to keep you company while you drift off. That’s why the shows are over an hour…give you plenty of time to fall asleep. Also if you can’t sleep, I’m here for you. I’m here to keep you enter…barely entertained and keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep. So yeah, if you can’t sleep, I’m here. I’ll be here to the very end, but I’ll also be here to the very end so you don’t have to wonder if I’ll be here. That’s what happens. You say, well, if you’re only gonna be there twenty minutes, what if I don’t fall asleep? Don’t worry, I’ll be here whether you’re awake or asleep. That’s my commitment. So, those are two things to know if you’re new. A few other things throw people off. One is that it takes a bunch of times to get used to the show.

 

It is free, but it’s just the way…because it is so different. It’s not really your traditional…I don’t know. It is more like a bedtime story for kids. You say, oh, okay, now I get it. It’s not…I don’t understand. I said, right. So, that’s one thing. The other thing to know is that…is…okay, oh, so don’t listen, don’t pay attention, not everybody likes it, it takes a few times to get…what about the good news? Oh, also the structure’s very different. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and something silly I say, so you feel welcome. Maybe you barely smile. You feel seen. So, that’s how the show starts. Then there’s support for listeners and support for the podcast, so support so you know I’m here to help, and then I want to keep the show free. So, that’s that.

 

Then there’s the intro. So, the intro goes from like, minute six or minute eight to about minute twenty-something. You say, well, isn’t an intro supposed to be like, three or four minutes? I say, yeah, normally, but mine goes on and on and on to ease you into bedtime and to give you time to wind down whether you’re in bed, you’re getting ready for bed, or you’re doing something relaxing as a part of your bedtime routine and Sleep With Me just fits in there somewhere. That’s the main reason the intro goes on and on and on, is just to…like a slow landing in bed and getting comfortable, because I’ve never found for me a quick fix that just works. So, that’s…well, that’s another thing. What else do you need to know? Don’t need to…oh, oh, intro…so, then after the intro is business.

 

That’s how, again, how we keep the show free, are the sponsors, and then after that is our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be our episodically modular ongoing roleplaying series, so you could listen to it in any order. A nice little bedtime story of friends playing a game, Journey into the Land of Tomorrow. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show. It does take some getting used to. Three percent of listeners skip the intro, start the show at twenty minutes, and go from there, and then a few thousand people listen to story-only episodes on Patreon. There’s also people that listen all night, and yeah, you could either set up a all-night playlist in your free podcast app, or some people prefer to be a patron because there’s no jingles or anything, or there’s also all-night episodes for patrons.

 

But it takes a little while to figure out how you want to consume it. So, at first just kinda see how it goes. Or, it’s okay if you don’t like the podcast or you don’t like me right away. I mean, you could give it a few tries ‘cause I’m here to help you fall asleep or to try to, but if you definitely don’t like me or the show, that’s understandable. I’m not everybody’s taste. You could also go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. There’s other options and stuff there. So, those are the things to know if you’re new. I’m trying to think of what else. Oh, the reason I make the show…one is because I have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, getting to sleep, waking up. I’ve had all those things. So, it’s my pleasure to be able to help you, ‘cause I know how it feels. I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.

 

That’s why I call it that. The other reason is I truly believe you deserve a good night’s sleep, and if I can provide that, your life will be a little bit better. If you’re rested, your life will improve, and if I’m a part of that, that means that your world’s a better place. I live in the same planet, so that means my world’s a better place. So, that gives a lot of meaning to why I make the show. But yeah, just give it a few tries, see how it goes. I’m glad you’re here. I really appreciate you coming by. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I’d really like to help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do this podcast for you free twice a week.

 

 Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts on your…you know, thoughts, things you’re…thoughts, yeah, things you’re…things on your mind, but it could be thoughts about the past, present, or future, even current thoughts or thoughts about current. You say, holy cow, did you…? Where do you fall on AC versus DC? I say, I never quite…can we get back to that?

 

Could we talk about something more interesting like Tesla versus Edison? What about Marconi? Is it Mar…? Okay, yeah, maybe we should get back to that, because these thoughts about current may be keeping you awake, or it could be thoughts about current stuff. Earlier, before I started having my thoughts about current, I was thinking about what…I don’t know, I mispronounced something. You could also have thoughts about currants. You say, oh boy, baking with currants is…do you soak your currants or do you…do currants have seeds? Do you buy seedless currants? Or some of you may say, what’s a currant taste like? I say, I don’t know. I never…they’re good. Usually they’re already installed. I buy my currants already installed. I say, oh, currants are already in there, eh?

 

But, you know, I think I have prepared them in one of those boxed meal…bagged meal kits before. Oh, so, thoughts could be one thing that’s…we got a lot to talk about, I guess. Currently I have currants on my mind. It’s different formats. So currant…whatever’s…thoughts, it could be feelings you’re feeling emotionally or experiencing coming up for you or that are just there remaining from the day or the…you know, for me, sometimes the person I work with has to point out, well, those are from…they’re still here, but they’re…I don’t want to say old feelings ‘cause my feelings might have feelings about…they say, who you calling old? I’d say, well, what do you want me to call you? I don’t exactly have nostalgia for you, and you’re from the past. Feelings from the past; that doesn’t really ring well.

 

Old…you’re right, old feelings doesn’t…what about…how do you feel about me calling you moldy feelings? No, absolutely not. Well, can I get back to you? What if I say these are aged feelings? What about cave-aged feelings? Think about that, and I’ll come back to you if I remember. So, feelings, physical sensations…mm, those cave-aged feelings, they’re the best. You know, we use the same cave for cheese, champagne, and feelings. I don’t know if it would be the Loire Valley, but if I could get a cave to age cheese and champagne, I’d probably have to…I’d probably just say, could you lease out the…? They say, okay, wow, this is quite an operation you got here. So, it looks like…so, you’re aging cheese and champagne here in the Loire Valley. Is it called the Loire Valley? You don’t…oh, you live in my mind.

 

Okay. Well, I see a lot of empty space. I was thinking about fill…would you lease out that empty space for me? They’d say, for what? I’d say, well, feelings. I’m looking to cave-age some feelings. Oh, from customers? No, no, no, my own. I got enough to fill this cave and many others. Oh, you’re right, I’m in the middle of…so, feelings, physical sensations could be the other thing that’s keeping you awake. So, whether it’s something physical you’re feeling, emotionally, or you’re thinking about…or all of them. It could be something else. We get a lot of people that listen to the show just for a little while as they’re going through a period of…you’re experiencing something. Whatever it is, I’m here to help. I’m here to take your mind off of stuff so you can fall asleep.

 

That’s really the simple version, which only took me, what, eight minutes to get to that. So, a couple things…the way I do it is I try to create a safe place, and at first you might think a cave for aging feelings…a cave for aging feelings where I discovered something. I don’t know. That does sound…I like the way that sounds, a cave for aging feelings. That’s what I call my heart. Stories from my heart. But that would be…that could be a safe place. Of course, you’re right; it would have to be dehumidified. Oh, they might need the humidity for the…you might…it shouldn’t smell like cheese unless it’s the good kind. You’re right about that. Okay, we’ll get back to you. But I want to create a safe place.

 

Whatever evokes that for you, if a cave-aging…an aging cave…here’s a question; I mean, caves are always aging, but that could be another SAT question. Let’s see if we could figure that out. An aging cave is best for…is a aging cave best for aging? An aged cave…who are you calling an aged cave? You’re right about that, cave. I didn’t…I was just exploring the language. Now, I didn’t say old or aged. I just said an aged cave. It could mean anything. You could be any age. I mean, I don’t know. I’ll tell you what; I don’t know a lot…the difference between limestone and something else I can’t even think of that would fit here in a good, punny way. I don’t know the difference…I wish I had a body part that would sound funny or that limestone started with A double S, because then I could say that.

 

I don’t know my rear…is there…? I don’t know. I can’t think of a term. Sorry about that, cave. Believe it or not, I’ve gotten distracted now four or five times. I’m gonna send my…I’m gonna try to create a safe place for aged caves everywhere. I say, man, those Sleep With Me downloads exploded because he got…he encaptured…captured the entire segment of caves that listen to the podcast for two weeks, and then he called a cave aged and lost the whole cave audience. It was a beautiful thing because his voice was echoing through those caves. All the cheese did go bad and the champagne went bad, too, but that was also the same caves that Scooter had leased out to kinda age his feelings. But actually, I probably wouldn’t age my feelings.

 

Just thinking about it, I’d put them…I wouldn’t mind putting my feelings on racks in a beautiful cave and walking through it and saying, hm, oh boy. That would be much easier than when my feelings come up at bedtime and say, hey, let’s talk about this right now. Instead, I could tour the cave. Maybe I’d have…yeah, maybe I’d have one of those helmets with a candle in it. That would be cool. I’d say, okay, who are you again? Oh, oh boy, fourth grade, eh? Which…? Oh, when I couldn’t figure out how to tie my shoes. Oh no? Oh, you’re when I couldn’t remember my home phone number or my home address. I was unable to memorize those. You’re right. Only kid in the class. All of those things were true. Probably be on fourth grade…but yeah. Okay. Well, it’s good to see you. You’re looking great here.

 

What do you think of this cave? Would you believe it? You’re next to a cheese that starts with a C-H and after that, C-H-A-M-B…and I think above you is a Chateaubriand or something. It’s…yeah, it’s from Brienne of Tarth’s fictional champagne groves. Every grape is cut off with her sword, according to legend. Oh, I’m supposed to be starting a podcast? Oh, a sleep podcast. Thanks for reminding me of that. Okay, so what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders — you’ve seen a few of those — superfluous tangents…you’ve seen a few of those as well. So, those are a couple things. Really what I’m here to do is keep you company while you fall asleep.

 

Now if you’re new, you’ve probably already caught on that this podcast is a little bit different and a little bit strange and silly. So, when you first get to this podcast, you might be wondering…a lot of people say this; what in the hey or what in the name of aged caves is this person talking about? Sometimes they even put an F-double-O-L in there. Those are just managers of caves in the Loire Valley. That’s what they’ve said to me on…they say, why are you calling again? I say, I got one more question for you. Are you on…? Like, in the movies sometimes there’s these cool phones in caves that you wind…you crank up. Are you on that phone? Hello? Hello? Then my favorite part is they say, monsieur, you’ve been disconnected. I say, okay. Anyway, so, could I talk to you for a second? Oh, hello? Hello? Oh, boy.

 

Enough of my personal life. That’s enough of my hobbies getting in the way. So, this podcast is a little bit different. It’s really meant to be a friendly voice you don’t really listen to. Just like…I mean, that could be my future. I could be in the cave and you could call in and it would be the same thing; I would just be in my cave talking to you. I’d say, oh yeah, what…how’s the weather today? Oh, it’s the same as always; 55, 44% humidity. That’s how we like it. I mean, I don’t particularly…it’s not exactly the best weather. Perfect for aging my feelings though, I believe, though the people I’ve run it by said, Scooter, I think this is what we call a boondoggle in the business of mental health. Mental health boondoggle. I’d say, well, could that get me in the…one of those DSVM-4? Could you just put it in there under cave aging?

 

Maybe you could put in there; not the best at aging…cave-aging your feelings? Not the best idea. In 20-whatever, 2021, maybe you could…or maybe a footnote. Could I be a footnote in there? DSVM-7? Okay. Sorry, I gotta get back to the listeners. So, this podcast is a bit different. It’s a podcast you don’t really listen to. It’s also a podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep. It more keeps you company while you fall asleep. So, really, my job is just to be here, and that’s why the shows are over an hour or right around an hour. You got plenty of time to drift off. But if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to the very end keeping you company. So, those are some pieces of good news, is I’ll be here to keep you company and you don’t have to listen to me.

 

A couple other things new listeners like to know that I unfortunately never get to early in the episode is structure of the show. That can really throw people off. Some people are already, you know, not listening anymore. But so, the show starts off with a greeting so you feel welcome. Then there’s business so the show can be free. Then there’s an intro from around minute six to minute twenty or so of me rambling and introducing the podcast. For new listeners, you get a taste of what to expect. Clearly here, I mean, we’ve covered currants and aged caves and feelings and Loire Valley. That’s a lot of ground to cover. You say, it almost makes sense. What he’s talking about, it just almost…it almost makes sense.

 

Some people, cheese mongers and champagners, they say you never put cheese and champagne in the same…wait a second, we’ve never put champagne and cheese in the same caves before. What could happen? I say, well…I mean, there’s a 50% chance your champagne would taste like cheese. Not good, maybe. I don’t know. I can’t drink champagne, but…or your cheese could taste like champagne, which that makes…you say, wait a second, that almost makes no sense. So, that’s kinda the intro. It introduces you to the show when you’re new, but for regular listeners, it’s part of their wind-down routine. They barely listen to the intro while they’re doing something else; getting comfortable, getting cozy, or chillaxing. You know, doing something to wind down.

 

The intro goes on for sixteen to twenty minutes to give you some distance from the day and to ease you into bedtime. That’s just what I’ve seen works over the years. For those of us that struggle to sleep that kinda want this style of show, sleep just doesn’t happen. It takes a little bit of…it doesn’t take effort. I’m doing the effort here. I’m the one that’s leasing out imaginary cave space. So, it’s just meant to ease you into bedtime or to be part of your wind-down routine. So, see how it goes. The other thing is seeing how it goes is important. You don’t have to be open-minded, but you could say, well, I’ll see if this…give it a few tries. You could be doubtful and say, I doubt this…I’m not sure about this podcast that I don’t really need to listen to and that doesn’t really make very much sense.

 

I’d say, it sounds like you’re in the right place, then. Yeah, just…it doesn’t…say, I’m not sure how to feel about this show. Give it a couple tries to barely listen to it and see how it goes. That’s what most reviewers and regular listeners say. So, that’s that. So, the structure of the show…oh, there’s the intro…that’s the purpose of the intro, then there’s business, then we’ll talk about the Great British Bake Off…Baking Bake Off Show. I gotta make sure to say all those words so that nobody comes and says, hey…one of those baking shows that takes place in Britain and has people baking things. So, we’ll talk about that, then the show ends with some thank-yous and goodnights. So, that’s the structure of the show. Finally, the most important thing is the reason I make this show, you. You deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place where you can rest, because if you get some sleep, the world’s gonna be a better place, really.

 

You say, well…and I say, yeah, your world will be a better place. I want you to be able to flourish, and I also want to counteract the bedtime dread. I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, I’ve dealt with all that, and if I can help take your mind off of that stuff so that you can get comfortable or have the podcast as a part of your wind-down routine, even if it’s just for a couple weeks or if you need it on a regular basis, that’s my honor because I know how it feels in the deep, dark night. So, that’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I really, really appreciate your time and you coming by. I work…believe it or not, I work very hard. I yearn and I strive. I’d really like to help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to bring you this show twice a week.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

All Intros

 

Remains of the Day / Merchant Ivory

https://filmfisher.com/inside-scene-remains-day/

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/sep/17/the-remains-of-the-day-revisit-anthony-hopkins-and-emma-thompsons-classic-tale-of-longing

https://filmschoolrejects.com/merchant-ivory-history-adaptations/

 

Hokey Pokey

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/31063/ambiguous-origins-hokey-pokey

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/01/hokey-pokey/

https://medium.com/lessons-from-history/thats-what-it-s-all-about-29bb41e8d692

 

Queen’s Guard

https://www.rd.com/article/facts-about-the-queens-guard/

https://www.livescience.com/why-queens-guard-bearskin-hats.ht

https://britishheritage.com/history/royal-guard-buckingham-palace

 

Cave Aging

https://www.politico.com/story/2007/01/cave-aged-cheese-pricey-but-good-002566

https://www.seriouseats.com/2015/02/murrays-cheese-cave-aging-tour.html

https://cheesegrotto.com/blogs/journal/what-its-like-inside-a-cheese-cave

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Get ready, get set…

What kind of flour is this show?

My preferred flour is rye flour

Wasn’t there a skunk named Flour at some point?

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Uncommon Goods; Everyday Dose

 

INTRO

969

Remains of the Day Chat

How much time remains in Remains of the Day?

I don’t expect much of you

Scooter’s natural Eeyore Component

Definitively not pregnant pauses

GBBO

Every baker is a star baker in my book

One of the Irons

Michael Ironside

Jeremy Irons

Jeffrey Irons

Jeffrey Lyons

Betting on the cast of Remains of the Day

Jim Caviziel

There’s a 70% Helen Mirren was in this movie

Before 1998, I’d bet Robert Redford was in this

A Languid Movie

A Lot of Eating in Rooms with Great Sunlight

Remains of the Day, the Action Movie

Don’t worry I’ll fact-check myself soon

I mainly remember that it was a lauded film

Wait, is Scooter thinking of Days of Heaven?

Remains of the Days of Heaven

Jenny Ironside, Personal Trainer

You deserve some rest

Pish Posh

Fact Checking on IMDB

Oh boy, I was close

Anthony Hopkins

Emma Thompson

Christopher Reeve

Is it a Merchant Ivory Film?

 

STORY

970

I don’t know what you’re up to

Is this what the hokey pokey is like?

The Tarnished Past of the Hokey Pokey

The lessons of blind allegiance taught by hokey pokey

Roller Skating Birthday Parties

I wasn’t even a person then, I was just a child

There’s no pressure to like the show

A Voice Neither Pleasant Nor Unpleasant

Give Your Tub a Brush

Brush vs Scrub

Rug Brushing must be a thing

Brushing the Side of your Sofa

Good Re-Evening To You, listeners who woke up in the middle of the night

Nighty Night

A Crossover with “The Quiet Journeys of Professor Atwood”

Tongass National Forest

971

Already getting mixed up

Creaky Rhymes

How about that rhyme?

Not many people are proud of a Mediocre Rhyme

The Binary of Rhyming

Grammarian

The Grammarian Guard

After guarding the Grammarians, nothing sounds right

Who are the Grammarians?

A Gramorian Guard

Queen’s Guard is a thing, right?

The Butter Guard

A Disney Branded SAT and ACT Test

The Great Gramorian Guard Debate

A Themed SAT / ACT

Another Illogical Logic Questions

What in the May the 4th?

Comprehending something that’s nearly incomprehensible

A Slow Landing Into Bed

972

Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts

Thoughts about current

AC vs DC

Tesla vs Edison

What about Marconi?

Thoughts about currants

Being Nice to Old Feelings

Moldy Feelings

Cave-Aged Feelings

The Loire Valley

Oh, you’re aging cheese and champagne here, eh?

A Cave for Aging Feelings aka Scooter’s Heart

A Cave-Aged SAT Question

Struggling to find a Limestone Pun

Tapping Into the Cave Audience

Keeping my feelings on a rack

The Vintages of Scooter’s Childhood

The Chateau Brienne Vintage

Brien of Tarth’s Vineyard

Visions of Scooter’s Cave Future

Perfect Weather for Aging Feelings

Mental Health Boondoggle

Could I be a footnote in DSVM 7?

It Almost Makes Sense

Wait why haven’t we put Champagne and Cheese in the Same Caves before?

Chillaxin’ 

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1404

Title: Grammarian Guard | All Intros 969 – 972

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Uncommon Goods; Everyday Dose

Notable Language:

• 969
• Natural Eeyore Component
• A Languid Movie
• Remains of the Day, the Action Movie
• Lauded
• Pish Posh
• 970
• Hokey Pokey
• Brush
• Rug Brushing
• Good Re-Evening To You
• 971
• Creaky Rhymes
• The Grammarian Guard
• What in the May the 4th?
• 972
• Current Currants
• Loire Valley
• Cave-Aged Feelings
• Mental Health Boondoggle
• Chateau Brienne
• Chillaxin’ 

 

Notable Culture:

• • 969

• Remains of the Day

• • Eeyore / Winnie the Pooh
  • Michael Ironside
  • Jeremy Irons
  • Jeffrey Irons
  • Jeffrey Lyons
  • Jim Cavieziel
  • Helen Mirren
  • Robert Redford
  • The Oscars

• Days of Heaven

• Remains of the Days of Heaven

• • Great British Bake Off
  • Anthony Hopkins
  • Emma Thompson
  • Christopher Reeve
  • IMDB
  • Merchant Ivory

• 970

• The Quiet Journeys of Professor Atwood

• • The Hokey Pokey
  • Tongass National Forest
  • 971

• Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow

• • Disney

• Star Wars

• • Dungeons & Dragons
  • SAT/ACT
  • 972
  • Nikola Tesla
  • Thomas Edison
  • Marconi
  • Loire Valley
  • SAT

• Great British Bake Off

• Brienne of Tarth / Game of Thrones
• DSVM

 

Notable Talking Points:

• 969
• Remains of the Day Chat
• How much time remains in Remains of the Day?
• I don’t expect much of you
• Scooter’s natural Eeyore Component
• Definitively not pregnant pauses
• GBBO
• Every baker is a star baker in my book
• One of the Irons
• Michael Ironside
• Jeremy Irons
• Jeffrey Irons
• Jeffrey Lyons
• Betting on the cast of Remains of the Day
• Jim Caviziel
• There’s a 70% Helen Mirren was in this movie
• Before 1998, I’d bet Robert Redford was in this
• A Languid Movie
• A Lot of Eating in Rooms with Great Sunlight
• Remains of the Day, the Action Movie
• Don’t worry I’ll fact-check myself soon
• I mainly remember that it was a lauded film
• Wait, is Scooter thinking of Days of Heaven?
• Remains of the Days of Heaven
• Jenny Ironside, Personal Trainer
• You deserve some rest
• Pish Posh
• Fact Checking on IMDB
• Oh boy, I was close
• Anthony Hopkins
• Emma Thompson
• Christopher Reeve
• Is it a Merchant Ivory Film?
• 970
• I don’t know what you’re up to
• Is this what the hokey pokey is like?
• The Tarnished Past of the Hokey Pokey
• The lessons of blind allegiance taught by hokey pokey
• Roller Skating Birthday Parties
• I wasn’t even a person then, I was just a child
• There’s no pressure to like the show
• A Voice Neither Pleasant Nor Unpleasant
• Give Your Tub a Brush
• Brush vs Scrub
• Rug Brushing must be a thing
• Brushing the Side of your Sofa
• Good Re-Evening To You, listeners who woke up in the middle of the night
• Nighty Night
• A Crossover with “The Quiet Journeys of Professor Atwood”
• Tongass National Forest
• 971
• Already getting mixed up
• Creaky Rhymes
• How about that rhyme?
• Not many people are proud of a Mediocre Rhyme
• The Binary of Rhyming
• Grammarian
• The Grammarian Guard
• After guarding the Grammarians, nothing sounds right
• Who are the Grammarians?
• A Gramorian Guard
• Queen’s Guard is a thing, right?
• The Butter Guard
• A Disney Branded SAT and ACT Test
• The Great Gramorian Guard Debate
• A Themed SAT / ACT
• Another Illogical Logic Questions
• What in the May the 4th?
• Comprehending something that’s nearly incomprehensible
• A Slow Landing Into Bed
• 972
• Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts
• Thoughts about current
• AC vs DC
• Tesla vs Edison
• What about Marconi?
• Thoughts about currants
• Being Nice to Old Feelings
• Moldy Feelings
• Cave-Aged Feelings
• The Loire Valley
• Oh, you’re aging cheese and champagne here, eh?
• A Cave for Aging Feelings aka Scooter’s Heart
• A Cave-Aged SAT Question
• Struggling to find a Limestone Pun
• Tapping Into the Cave Audience
• Keeping my feelings on a rack
• The Vintages of Scooter’s Childhood
• The Chateau Brienne Vintage
• Brien of Tarth’s Vineyard
• Visions of Scooter’s Cave Future
• Perfect Weather for Aging Feelings
• Mental Health Boondoggle
• Could I be a footnote in DSVM 7?
• It Almost Makes Sense
• Wait why haven’t we put Champagne and Cheese in the Same Caves before?
• Chillaxin’