1386 – Pink Goop Photobooth | Get Besos in the Sky PI 15

Episode 1386 – Pink Goop Photobooth | Get Besos in the Sky PI E15

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s gonna get a little tum, tum, tumnal, autumnal for this season, be seasoned with lulls and pointless meanders. Welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. I’m glad you're here. Whether you're new or you're a regular listener or you just come and go, you're checking the show out or you only need it time to time to time, I’m so glad you're here and I’m really hoping I can help you out, or I’m really glad I get to help you out episode after episode after episode or just when you need me. I don't know, was there just a clicking?

 

I was just hearing a clicking. I put my elbow against this wall. Believe it or not, I could touch both walls right now with just my elbows. You may be saying, what in the name of elbow macaroni are you talking about? Well, this…welcome. This is Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep, which is a little bit different. You're right; it is a bit different and strange. That’s a great question. I think it’s my headphones that are clicking, so only I can hear it, which…holy moly. So, I think I got that fixed. Sorry for the distract…it’s the very beginning of the show, so very distractable. So, welcome.

 

What I’m gonna do is just keep you company and talk. If you're new, you'll kinda see. What we got coming up is support so paying for the show is optional for those people that benefit the most, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then our episodically modular series Big Farm in the Sky Get Besos PI, kind of. Those are mixed together. It’ll be a seasonal-themed episode, though it’ll take place in their…you know, whatever. It’ll be nice, and people will be dressing up. Not fancy; like dressing up in costume. So, I’m glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep.

 

So, thanks again for checking the show out, and if you're new, just kinda stick around and see how it goes. That’s all I could say. But I am really glad you're here. If you are a super listener, you fall asleep fast, you listen all night long, you listen to episode after episode after episode, this show makes your life a lot better, you're the listeners we count on to keep the show going for you and everybody else, and these are the ways you could participate. If the show makes your life better…you say, man, this show really makes my life better; how can I help? These are the ways you could do it.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, things you're thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that are just there. Always thinking…my mind; always think…I’m always thinking, mostly about me and the past, the present, and the future…actually, very rarely about the present. Always thinking. You say, please, can't you take a break?

 

Why would we take a break? Well, I could use a break right now. Okay. Like, I don't…but so, it could be thoughts, it could be feelings, anything emotionally coming up for you related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, feelings making an appearance with those thoughts, maybe they're in…is there…am I using ‘cohort’ correctly? Or cahoots…I mean, what’s the difference between someone who’s in cahoots and a…? Could somebody remind me? A cohort that’s in cahoots; we could do that for Sleep With Me. ‘Cause ‘in cahoots’ has a pretty broad meaning, right? But it means working together ideally for something where you're gonna grin. We're in cahoots with Scoots McGoots. A cohort is like working together. Maybe that’s more professional.

 

People try to keep their cahoots separate from their professions, except for me. I mean, it’s kinda my job. But your thoughts and your feelings, they could be…rarely at bedtime are they in cahoots as I’m thinking…it’s rarely a hoot unless they're in cahoots that cause a conundrum. But, yeah, I mean, it does feel like sometimes they're working as a cohort. That’s what I was saying but then I got mixed up by all these words. Say, man, why…? I mean, I guess the goal of this podcast is get everything more in cahoots versus a co…oh no, we're gonna be in a cohort. We're doing a rigorous study of…between your thoughts and your feelings and your physical…we're working together. Right now at bedtime? Oh yeah. We're doing a in-depth analysis and loud discussion within your brain or your imagination. Okay.

 

Couldn't we be in cahoots…like have a twenty-second tickle party, tickle one another even if it’s just proverbially and then go to bed, kinda like a sleepover? No; we're a professional cohort. But you just almost mispronounced ‘cohort’ though, and also, you're my thoughts and my feelings. Correct. We're gonna be…we're doing some rigorous stuff. Yeah, please no rigorous honesty from either one of you at bedtime. So, it could be feel…it could also be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be traveling, you could have guests, you could be going through something, getting over something, in the middle of something. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. What does that mean or why am I here? What’s going on?

 

Well, these are all good questions. So, the reason I make the show is there’s…it’s kinda twofold, I guess. One is that I know how it feels; trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up early, get…all that stuff. What I’ve found is like, I tried a ton of different stuff, a ton of different advice, of methods, of things I paid for over my entire lifetime, and nothing really helped me on a consistent basis, and…'cause nothing addressed how it really felt for me, and a lot of that advice and stuff, it just didn’t…I just didn’t…I guess to use the term, I just didn’t feel seen and I didn’t feel understood. Like, I felt brushed off. I don't know, or…and I think a lot of sleep stuff is very narrow, right? It works for some people. It doesn't work for everybody when it’s specific.

 

So, that’s led me to this frustration of my sleep even getting worse and stuff. But I got curious; like, how come there’s not a friend in the deep, dark night like other stuff I repurposed to do that that really understands how I feel? So, that’s the main thing I’m here to tell you, is I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I think we could kinda connect at some of the underlying stuff or at least come to a agreement that it’s just not pleasant, and I feel that for you. Maybe…you don’t even need to feel it for me. I could just be a one-way service. But if it’s anything like it is for me for you, I want to hold a nice place for you. You may say, well, you just don’t understand because I’m going through something different than you could possibly imagine; your context is limited or whatever.

 

I’d say, well, yeah, that makes sense. But the good news is even if I can't understand what you're going through…is that somewhere out there…there’s enough people listening somewhere around the world…maybe even not in the same part of the world you're in, there’s someone who’s been through something very similar and they're a regular listener and they're welcoming you in. They're hoping, hey, this podcast helped me, and I know what that feels like, or I have a gen…a pretty close idea 'cause I’ve been through something similar, and I know how it feels and I hope this show can help you out or that you find something else that helps you out.

 

The regular listeners that feel that for you, they also hope you get the feeling they're getting right now, 'cause they feel good rooting for someone somewhere else in the world who’s gone through stuff that they’ve gone through and needs some rest. So, it’s a nice place to be rooted for and to be rooting for other people. You could experience both sides, maybe, but you don’t need to 'cause all of this is optional and indirect, anyway. So, that’s the thing; however it is for you, I hope I can help. You also deserve a bedtime where you can get the rest you need so your life’s more manageable tomorrow, so that your bedtime is a little bit more pleasant. At least you could feel neutral about it if…even if you can't get the rest…you know.

 

I don't know, ideally you start getting the rest you need on a regular basis, your life is better and you could be out there flourishing, and that’s really my goal. That world’s a better place with you in it flourishing, but at least we could start with like, hey, at least bedtime’s not quite as bad 'cause I got that sleep podcast to listen to. That’s where we could try to get to. So, that’s why I’m here. The way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, I repeat myself or misuse some words, all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, which is a different approach, right? I don't even know if it’s an approach.

 

But this show works differently. So, when you first get here, you may be skeptical, you may be doubtful, you may be frustrated, you might be irritable, even, because…well, one, if you're…if you've been searching in the deep, dark night to try to find something to help you out…yeah, hopefully you find something and you say, hey, this show kinda helps. It’s a little bit different. I didn’t know I was looking for something like this 'cause I thought it was gonna be bedtime stories. I had a expectation that it would be a little bit different, a little bit more soothing, maybe some light music. I don't know. That’s how most people get here. Why wouldn't you, you know?

 

If you've been trying to find something to help you sleep in the middle of the night or your whole life or whatever it is you're dealing with right now, that makes sense. So, if you're skeptical or doubtful, that’s how most people get here. Now, some people, they already dislike me, and that’s okay. Alls I can say is if you try it a few times…this is what most listeners that support the show now who are hardcore, long-term listeners…they had the same experience as you're having, right? When they first got here, they didn’t like the show, they weren't sure about it, they were skeptical, they were doubtful, they were frustrated. But on the second or third try for a lot of them, they realize at some point, oh, oh, there is some sort of method to this, and…oh, at some point I fell asleep or at least I was comforted in the deep, dark night or distracted.

 

Now I got my bore-friend. But it just kinda happens, just like how I…I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and then you fall asleep. But if you discover you never…or you already know you don’t like me or the show, that’s totally fine. There’s a website set up, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, where you could find other sleep podcasts. You just fill out a couple questions and then it brings you to a list of other sleep podcasts and other sleepy stuff, because everything I’ve said is still true, right? I still hope everything…can help you out. So, that’s that part. What else do you need to know? Oh, most people don’t like…oh, this is a podcast you just barely listen to, which is different, right? You just kinda barely listen to it, and that takes some getting used to, too.

 

So, just kinda see how it goes. It’s kinda like background noise or a show streaming under your pillow, a TV on in the other room, a out-of-focus picture. It’s something you could pay attention to but you don’t need to pay attention to it. It’s kind of engaging. So, that takes…try it out and see what it’s like to barely…I ask people in my personal life; they say, yeah, he’s barely listenable. I’ve been tuning him out my whole life, or bare…I’ve been barely listening to him during the day. So, try it out at night. It may work. That’s kinda where the show’s…came from, anyway. This is also a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep.

 

I’ve been making the show about twelve years when you're hearing this, and this…even though it’s a sleep podcast and bedtime stories for grown-ups, it’s…I’m not here to put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour so you don’t have to worry about falling asleep, 'cause there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, and I’m here to keep them company and keep you company whether you're awake or asleep, whether you need me or not, whether you wake up and you turn me on later on. I’m here to keep you company…yeah, whether you're listening or not, even, 'cause that’s my job. My job is not to put you to sleep.

 

It’s to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your bores, your boreman, your Boris Borlaf, your best bore-friend f’eva to keep you company, just to be here, just like you were calling me or you were…we had those tin-can phones across…we lived across, whatever, I don't know, a yard from one another like on TV or in a idealized environment, or I was just sending my voice. You could just hear it on the breeze, the hot air. My brain just said, not breeze; hot…your voice would carry on hot air. It’d be carrying itself. I say, thank you, brain. So, yeah, that’d be nice depending on the temperature. It could be cool air maybe…'cause hot air rises; cold air sinks. So, my hot air could be on the top of cool air.

 

I’m just trying to figure out…whatever your temperature…what if we had some sort of temperature service like that? Well, yeah, I can hear him, but the cool air is actually coming in my room. He’s above my room. So, it’s actually…yeah, he’s kinda muffled. It’s nice. You say, well, I could use some more of that warm…the hot air. Well, I say, okay, I’ll give you some warm air. It’ll be a mix of the two. Whatever, Wayne Hart and all meteorologists everywhere turn…they're saying, what in the…? This guy has no concept of…say, hot air rises; cold air sinks, right? Obviously, never the twain shall meet. Incorrect. They may…they travel as layers, maybe. I don't know. So, okay, what was I talking about? Oh, you don’t need to listen to me. I’m not here to put you to sleep. I’m just here to keep you company.

 

The only other thing you need to know is the structure of the show. The show is structured in a very specific way to benefit the most amount of people it can. So, we…and it’s adjustable. So, if you become a regular listener, there’s ways you can adjust the show to meet your preferences. But for most people, they prefer to listen to this ad-supported, linear version. A lot of people are new or they kinda come and go or they're going through something, and then we have a chunk of super listeners that listen all the time or most of the time, that listen on a regular basis. So, if you're new or an occasional listener or you're just going through something, this version probably works best for you and you don’t have…paying for it’s optional, which is great. The sponsors enable us to do it.

 

So, all of our versions of our show start off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so everyone who’s listening feels welcomed in and you say, okay, I could check that show out. Then I usually say something silly, most of the time inadvertently or I’m distracted so you get a tone…you get a real taste of what the podcast is gonna be like. Then there’s sponsor support again so people that are new, people who can't afford to support the show or people that are just listening for a little while, they don’t have to worry about it. Then there’s a long, meandering intro separate from the support, totally separate from the support. It’s a show within a show where it takes me twenty minutes to introduce what the podcast is, but I follow a familiar structure.

 

But every intro is different so whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, it feels distracted. There’s not…there’s a familiarity and a little bit of repetition, but every intro has a variety so that…I don't know, I think that’s just one of the things that works about the show, because whatever it is that keeps me awake, it can predict everything. It gets tired of every strategy I try, so I have to keep trying different stuff, keep a variety of things. But it also wants something familiar. So, that’s why the intro is the same structure but I make a new one for every episode. Whatever we're on, 14…I don't even know, 1,400 episodes or something. Now, the other reason…you might say, well, couldn't you do that in five minutes? I could, but the other purpose of the intro is to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep.

 

Having a bedtime, a wind down has been what’s been shown to work. What works for me personally most of the time is getting eased into bedtime. So, whether you're getting ready for bed, you're winding down, doing a chill activity, getting in bed, getting comfortable, or you got some other part of your routine, this show could be a part of that…to have a buffer. Because just falling asleep fast hasn’t worked for me. Now, if you discover…well, if you fall asleep fast, Sleep With Me+ is the place for you. But if you discover you prefer intro…or stuff…something…just the stories of the show…you don’t like these intros 'cause it’s too much hang time or whatever, don't worry, we have a podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, ad-supported in every podcast app. You can get that and just get the stories.

 

Or, the great thing about podcasts is you can build all kinds of playlists depending on what podcast app you like to use, or you can even get out there and discover some new podcast apps. So, that’s why the intro goes on and on and on. Then there will be support, then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be our episodically modular series, Get Besos Big Farm in the Sky PI. But we put out a variety of shows. Every month we try to alternate. Every other episode’s a little bit different style and tone, but the spirit of the show is the same. Some people like everything we do and some people like to pick and choose, and we have over 600 archive episodes right here in this podcast. So, we work really hard.

 

Myself and a team of people, we yearn and strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and if this show makes your life better on a regular basis and you're hearing me and listening to me, that’s rare. Making their life better on a regular basis is pretty…it does for a good amount of people. But someone that’s paying attention right now and asking themselves, hey, this podcast…how can I help the show that helps me? That’s rare, and if you're that rare person, here’s the ways you can get back and make sure we're here for you and everybody else. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, welcome to our episodically modular series, Get Besos Big Farm in the Sky PI. Episodically modular series, if you're new, means that it’s a series with recurring characters, but it’s episodically modular, meaning the episodes…you could move them around and they would make sense on their own. I’ll kinda set up this episode just in case you need it, and then if you’re a completist, just consider this the first episode, and then all the previous ones are prequels. Or during the day or another night, you could make a playlist and listen to them all in order. But I really do make it episodically modular in a sense that it’s like, okay, I can listen to them out of order. If you're a completist or you like to do that, that’s totally cool, but you could also…you could do both, is I guess what I’m saying.

 

We did that maybe, I don't know, ten, eleven years ago, 'cause I said, oh, based on feedback…'cause the show is supposed to be sleepy. Now, what is this series? Well, this is a two…kinda two stories in one. Our friends James and Richie are trying to get their friend Jiff…oh, everything in this…well, not everything…a lot of this happens in the realms…new realms, like post-earthly realms. So, this particular episode will feature the Big Farm in the Sky PI. He was on Earth at one point living a regular life, and then he moved into the big farm. Where he went to the big farm, they said, hey, you could do whatever you want up here. He said, I want to be a PI. So, he’s the Big Farm in the Sky PI, and he helps people out.

 

Or, in previous seasons…yeah, this season he’s helping out James and Richie find Jiff, Jiff Besos, the Jiff of kisses, who’s a titan of retail industry, and that’s why James and Richie want to get with him, because they used to be titans of retail and they kinda feel like, hey, we liked retail the way we did it. These titans, man…just like in the movies…this is a non-Clash of the Titans, but there’s…retail industry titans may clash, but in a more sleepy way in this episode. So, right now what’s happening is the Big Farm in the Sky PI, he has an assistant, Diane, that he talks to, but he’s trying to help find Jiff, right? He found this librarian, Lilith. Now, Lilith also…she’s a Big Farm in the Sky librarian eye just for the Florida region.

 

Apparently there’s a part of the Big Farm in the Sky or some other post-earthly realm that’s like a Florida post-earthly realm. Because she said, yeah, this is…I lived in Florida; I’ll do a little post-earthly time in Florida. She was a Classics professor who became a librarian in her post-earthly position, and she really liked it. So, he…they met because Simon, the Big Farm in the Sky PI, he was doing research trying to find out some of these mythological characters so he could find Jiff. He found out about this conference that we believe Jiff is speaking at, and it’s for people that work in the business of running the post-earthly realms. Or, ‘business’ might be the wrong word because…but, you know, like in…let’s see. Well, there’s fictional movies, right?

 

So, there’s the one with Betal Juice or there’s the one…Defending Your Life, or A Good Place, right? There was…when you watch those, there’s people that are kinda working there, right? So, this conference…and those are all…I mean, I don't know, those may be fictional earthly…post-earthly realms. So, I don't know if they actually exist or not. But similarly, the real post-earthly realms also have…not employees, but people that…what is it called when you do a job because you love it? A calling, but there’s an official word for it. But I don't know it, unfortunately. It’s not pasttime, either, but it’s something like that where it sounds like, oh boy, this is it 'cause I do this…oh, I almost had it. Not occupation; definitely not. My brain said, occupation? I said, no, it’s like nice sounding, kinda like making a sleep podcast.

 

But so, Simon the Big Farm in the Sky PI and Lilith, this librarian, they found…they figured…they found out that Jiff is at this conference. So, their plan was to go to this conference and find Jiff. Well, that was the Big Farm in the Sky’s…PI’s job. Lilith was just…she said she knew about the conference 'cause she said, you ever…at least a couple times a year or once a year they have this conference with people from the post-earthly realms that run it or work there, technic…whatever…however you want to define it. She said, it’s gotta be amazing. ‘Cause they're not all from our world, right? They're not all from regular, mammalian human realm probably. So, probably cool stuff. So, she was like, I’ll tell you about the conference if you take me with you.

 

So, the current plan is for Simon to get into this post-earthly realm and get to the bottom of it, I guess. So, I guess that’s it. This is Big…oh no, I have…sorry. Oh, my goodness. Goodness gracious, I forgot that we have a Hollywood announcer who announces all our series, but I forgot somehow. Sorry. So, without further ado, here’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the…it’s okay, Scooter. I’ve only been sitting here for three hours and forty-two minutes. Kidding. Yeah. The ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time to get sleepy. Big Farm in the Sky PI Get Besos. Yeah. Wow, thanks, Antonio. Thanks. That wasn’t…people take what you say seriously. You haven't been here for…two hours, maybe.

 

I did…I actually forget about you, but that was only 'cause I was in the zone. So, I apologize. A lot of people would say, how could you…? I said, I’ve been trying for years. How could you forget that Antonio Banderas is sitting in your unkempt bedroom right now as you're packing to move? But yeah, he’s here. He was just sitting on a box, exactly…just like you picture him. Admist the chaos, there’s gravitas, and he was…that’s…if anybody’s a sculptor, it’s kinda like The Thinker, but less…I mean, no offense to The Thinker; less cold.

 

The warmest…you'd say, okay, what’d…you make that Thinker in warm clay? But he’s not thinking. He’s just sitting there. His legs are crossed on a box. He makes it all look grand, and he was just listening to me…I mean, talk about a boost…it’s not to my self-esteem or my ego. Whatever the opposite of the limbic system is…what is that called? You're soothing my limbic system just by…I don't know how he does it. That’s why…I mean, that’s why he’s beloved in addition to a lot of other qualities. But yeah, that was Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Big Farm in the Sky PI. Thanks, everybody.

 

Alright, Diane, it’s me. I’m reporting in here with an update. You'd be surprised, Diane, that…well, Diane, you wouldn't be surprised. I’m saying you'd be surprised. That’s funny. You wouldn't be surprised at all to know that a little treat goes a long way. I guess you're the one that taught me that, Diane. So, I used some treats that were hard to…well, that I was like, huh, I wonder if these are hard to get. I guess 'cause when I define treats that are hard to get, Diane…and this, I guess, was a trick with a treat…but treats that are hard to get are sometimes treats you forgot to get that you forgot about, and that’s what I try to use here. I keep a couple treats on hand, and it always seems to work.

 

What worked today was a Whatchamacallit…Charleston Chew. Yes, Diane…well, bite-sized Charleston Chews in a variety of flavors, and some Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffy actually was…a lot of people still remember it. Next time I’m gonna try a Fruit by the Foot, Diane, maybe some…what are those things called, the ones that are like a Fruit by the Foot? Fruit Roll-Ups. I think you can get those, or I’ve seen them before in G and DK’s apartment. But so, you say, how do you get into a conference center without anybody…when you're not invited or you're not sure you're invited or you don’t want to be seen? People that run the loading docks, they're always happy. Even if they're not earthbound or former earthbound beings, when you tell them, hey, when was the last time you had a Charleston Chew…?

 

They say, I don't know what that is, or they do. They say, oh, a Charleston Chew; oh boy, I haven't thought about that in years, or never heard of it. Then you show it to them or they bring it up in their mind and you say, well…well, actually, Diane, I had the full-size ones, too. Oh, those are my…it was the best deal ever, you know? So, those got us in through the loading dock, basically; a Whatchamacallit, three different flavors of Charleston Chew, and some Laffy Taffy. We were laughing at…we shared it, too. They said, you want…? We're gonna open these up right now. So, we got in the loading dock of this conference, this conference that’s taking place for people that work in the world…the live…life after life, I guess what you'd say…post-earthly realms and not just post-earthly realms.

 

Well, I guess I’m assuming that, Diane. I don't think they allow…some of these beings are beyond my understanding, but I guess it’s all post…this is all…this conference is just for post-earthly realms, now that I’m thinking about it. It’s just, sometimes I forget that when I see non-mammalian humans. But then I say, oh, that’s a demigod or a demi-goddess or some sort of…anyway, Diane, not…well, it is important in this situation because we got…right when we came in, we were…we went…we accidentally went from a service hallway…'cause the loading dock…I said, well, you still gotta do the load, unload. So, we can't…just go through those doors. You'll be fine. It turns out, we…and maybe this is a synchronicity; maybe not, Diane.

 

We ended up in a place we were supposed to…we weren't supposed to be there, but we were supposed to be there. I guess in a sense we got caught 'cause we…well, we surprised a…we stumbled into a conference room, and when I say stumbled, I mean stumbled, 'cause the doors stuck. I said, well, I guess this is the door. I’m gonna have to give a little heave-ho. Lilith was helping, and we fell over one another into the room. We looked like a couple of…I guess we weren't prepared. This was a formal…a pitch room. Now, the people in the pitch room thought this was part of our act, 'cause there was a scheduled…there was somebody scheduled to be there that didn’t show up for the pitch. We were…so, we were late, but we made quite…they said, quite the entrance.

 

You're a little bit late, but because of that entrance, we’ll put you back to zero. Lilith and I were kinda speechless for a minute. They said, is this…? Go ahead and get started. Then someone else chuckled. This was a panel of people…well, at first I wasn’t sure, Diane. I guess I’ll lay out what happened piece by piece so we can look at it together. Then someone said, we like the outfits. You dress as a couple of average humans or former humans. That’s hilarious. Unemployable with us, but…they said, what, are you…where are you going, to…? They kinda made jokes at the expense of regular post-earthly humans. So, it seems like they do consider themselves…they did consider themselves superior to Lilith and I, but they thought Lilith and I were pretending to be Lilith and I.

 

Then they…they were so superior they said, a little tropey, though, dressing as regular humans; no offense. They said, why don’t you get your pitch started? I had to think fast, Diane. I said, well, I’m just a regular mope. I said, why don’t you explain it to me like I’m human? They said, oh, like the pod…like the Harris podcast talk, talk, talking…human talking human, humble human bragging, talking humble human bragging to me? I said, well, just like I’m a regular human. Explain to me why I’m here, what this pitch is, what you're expecting, 'cause I’m only…we're…and then Lilith said, we're only human. We're bound to make our share of mistakes. I don't think they got that reference, but one of the people that was in charge was a big fan of this Talking Human podcast. I guess it’s a comedy podcast.

 

It was really funny, 'cause they were laughing a lot. They said, oh, okay, we’ll play along, especially the…so, kinda like a cat made of smooth marble who said, sure, I’ll explain it to you like you're human. You're late for your pitch, and you're pitching…we're getting…we're gonna choose where we're going, and whoever has the best pitch not only gets to have their…wherever they're pitching we go, but you get to go without being in the lottery. Now…so, that’s pretty great. I said, if only I was like you and not a human, I would understand what you were talking about. They said, yeah, right. Well, so, you're here to pitch us on our awesome autumnal event here. The excursion; that’s one of the biggest things for this autumnal version of the conference, where we're gonna go for this seasonal celebration.

 

It was just very rare to get chosen to attend. Only so many of us can go without disturbing the time-space continuum, obviously, and all those things. Don’t want to pull a Besos, you know? We don’t want to pull an RW, you know? They had a laugh at that, and that reference I kinda understood. I said, oh yeah, but we're only human. We're just trying to hone our pitch, and we're still confused. Right, Lilith? Lilith said, totally confused. So, we're doing an autumnal pitch for…and they said, for the…for…? Well, most people pitch…the whole reason we do it is so we can go on the trick-and-treat trail or somewhere…go trick-and-treating. I said, wait, you're all gonna go trick-or-treating? They said, well, we are on the board, so we do get to go as well, but…yeah, we have a lottery.

 

Anyone can enter it that’s a guest at the conference or part of the…participating in the conference, official registered participants. There’s a lottery, so those people are selected. I said, well, pretend I don't know anything, just like a human. They said, okay, so, the people that win the lottery and those that get to go…let’s say you picked, I don't know, East Bay, California. Okay, East Bay, California, and your pitch was chosen. I mean, that wouldn't be…you'd have to have something interesting. The winners, the attendees of the conference that are chosen to go on this excursion, would get to go Casper-treating.

 

I said, Casper-treating…and they said, okay, so, they’ll get to…they won't…they’ll get to embody someone that’s…they’ll get to ride along, basically, or be with…they’ll get to experience as someone that’s…as a kid or whatever that’s out there trick-or-treating. I said, oh, okay. They said, it’s great. They said, haven't you ever experienced that effect before when you were…? If you were really a earthbound being or you can relate to earthbound beings, you know the effect. I said, I don't know the effect. Then we said, the Casper Treat Effect? I said, I don't know the Casper Treat Effect. They said, okay, were you a earthbound being at some point? I said, clearly I was a earthbound being at some point. They said, okay, so you probably…did you…?

 

As a earthbound being, did you celebrate the ween to the hallow? We said, yeah, yeah, we did, we did. They said, okay, search your memory banks for a memory of a time when you went and you acquired a large amount of treats. Okay, I remember that. Okay, is it possible…is the amounts of treats in your mind more than is possible for you to acquire? Yeah, I guess so. I always have this one memory, but I can't quite place…Lilith? Me, too. Yeah, I always have this memory like filling an entire pillowcase full of candy, but I don't think that’s possible. Right; it’s not possible. But when we're there, we're able to kind of…that’s how it happens. It’s the Casper Treat Effect. We're able to make sure you get more treats that time, but you never…you just have a vague memory.

 

But yeah, you'd have to have been out there for ten hours to get that bag filled, right? Yeah, and other people would talk about it; oh, we filled two pillowcases full of candy. But yeah, the specifics were never…right. So…so anyway, we gotta get…we got another group coming in, so we're gonna have to get to your pitch now. Do you have an understanding of what you're pitching? I think we do. Lilith, do you have an understanding? Yeah, we're gonna pitch…this is how it went, Diane. Lilith said, yeah, we're gonna pitch Florida. Oh, yeah? Florida, huh? That’s interesting. Yeah, yeah. Then I said…Diane, I said, yeah, and not just any place in Florida, but The Towns. Oh, The Towns. Isn't that a retirement village? It’s a retirement lifestyle community, actually, but yeah, it’s a active lifestyle community.

 

But yeah, it’s…yeah, I think that’s gonna be exciting, 'cause they do celebrate there, and the residents go trick-or-treating. Wait a second, so we won't go trick-or-treating as kids; we’ll go trick-or-treating as active lifestylers? Yeah, people living a active…or somewhat active…mildly, moderately active. But they will be…yeah, people go trick-or-treating there. Wait a second, I’ve never heard a pitch like this before. It’s always for kids, but this could be exciting. So, we’ll go to the largest active lifestyle or whatever…lifestyle community for…while people are retiring, though, or maybe not retiring; whatever you're saying. Okay, well, that’s it for your pitch, but we like it. I think we're all nodding our heads. So, why don’t you…? Hold on, my phone’s ringing, or my…you know, I’m just using human terms, obviously. Yeah, go ahead.

 

Okay. Okay, yeah…no. I mean, real humans? No; we got a couple of people pretending to be human, but they're not doing a very good job. But no, we haven't seen any real humans. Have either of you two…? This is what they said to me, Diane; either of you two seen any real humans? ‘Cause you two are kinda the least-good fake humans we’ve ever seen, though we really like the Florida idea. So, are you gonna go as humans or are you gonna wear different costumes? ‘Cause we’ll…we're gonna go straight from the announcement area…so, when we announce the winner, you better be ready in costume to go. If you're gonna wear human costumes to a human thing, I don't know about that. Also, it’s…I guess it’s clear you're wearing costumes, so…but have you two seen any humans, regular, real humans?

 

Lilith, you seen any regular, real humans? What? Yeah, no, neither one…I guess…I don't know. I wouldn't know what to…okay, yeah, you two are…so, okay, we’ll take your pitch in mind. It’s pretty good. Lilith and Simon; Simon’s the name. Okay. Why don’t you two head out? The rallies are starting, so you probably want to get to one of those. I’m sorry, we're still human. What are the rallies? Oh, well, this is kinda unprecedented. I guess if you're human, you don’t quite understand. But your pitch is already done. Anyway, I really like this interaction. So, you know we're having the vote to change a lot of our mandates for post-earthly existences, and in the spirit of the conference, a lot of it’s bringing…a bringing together, but it’s also changing some of the priorities.

 

Introducing the concept of currency is kinda the main…one…and then turning management over, having an earthbound being as part of the management team. Technically they’ll be called the CEO or founder or something, that Jiff. I really like that Jiff. So, everybody’s…obviously…oh, I guess you're human, so you don’t quite understand. So, obviously we do everything by consensus here, not like…so, the rallies are just a chance to build consensus or discuss things and see where there’s opportunity to build consensus. It doesn't seem like it’s gonna go through, though, because…but yeah, anyway, you could find…you could go participate. That’s what we do here in the post…well, not everybody participates, obviously. But yeah, great pitch. We’ll see you later.

 

Oh, by the way, they're gonna check…if you could go down the hallway…before you go to the rally, they did say they want to just double-check your human costumes, 'cause they're looking for these two humans that snuck in. But I told them there’s no way it’s you two. You're not…I mean, holy moly. The last time I saw humans like you, it was on a boring…so, must…okay, so, yeah, head out. So, after that, Diane, we headed out, but we knew that just down the hall they were gonna check us for human…to be…see if we're human or post-earthly humans, and that they were looking for us. So, we took another…we went in the opposite direction. Then we said, well, we might as well get costumes.

 

We happened to stumble upon one rally that was making costumes and trying to build consensus while they were making costumes, Diane. Now, this wasn’t a huge group of people. Well, large enough that we could mix in, and we were able to start building…Lilith had an idea for our costumes, which I’ll tell you about in a minute. Because it’s a post-earthly realm, a lot of craft things are easily available. So, we started crafting, Diane, and putting together stuff and just discussing things. Now, they said, oh yeah, well, you could go to…the biggest rally’s gonna be for the…but they said, yeah, these…we're kinda the two strongest opposition groups as well as some of the pro groups, small crowds.

 

We're the groups with the strongest feelings about it, but we don’t really…so, we're gonna try to build consensus anyway, discuss it, but it doesn't seem like it really has any chance of passing, so we're just gonna try to build consensus so we know for the next time it comes through, and make our costumes. We're all trying to craft costumes. So, Lilith and I were working on our…Lilith had the idea; not me, Diane. But I said, tell me a little bit about what’s happening. I was…we were gonna dress as humans, but then we realized that was silly. So, yeah, that’s why…we're just post-earthly humans, not employees. You know, the…they said, oh yeah, that’s…everybody…the first time at the conference, huh? A lot of people dress as post-earthly humans or some form, and a lot of people still will.

 

Most of the people that are gonna vote against it, they're at the Photo Booth Rally. Or, that’s what we call it. But yeah, we're just discussing pros and cons of all these changes. But the biggest group is the group that is kind of…they care enough…you kinda have to…you don’t have to vote in it, you know? But most people choose to participate 'cause you're less likely to get invite…you gotta participate in order to…you gotta sign up to participate, and then they have the rally. So, then the lotteries happen. If you've chosen to participate, that’s how you get chosen to go on the trip, and then everybody else votes. Okay, so people that go on the trip don’t vote.

 

Yeah, 'cause it’s the only way we…they figured out over thousands and thousands of years that…yeah, that way everybody…everybody wants to go on this trick-or-treating thing. I mean, I really do. You could also win the costume contest and go. But yeah, it just ensures everybody’s…otherwise what would happen…they tried it other ways in the history of time. I mean, this conference isn't that old. I was just using ‘thousands of years’ as a term, but people used to…they would say they're gonna vote and then they wouldn't, and they…but they still want to go on…they’d still get…they’d say, okay, yeah, I’ll promise to vote as long as I can go on…be in the lottery for the excursion. But then they wouldn't necessarily vote. They might…may even show…but it’s not really about voting, right?

 

It’s about the momentum of consensus. Not to everybody, I guess. It sounds complicated. Well, it’s not. It’s kinda simple. I guess that’s what makes it complicated. So, between all of you, you haven't found consensus between those of you that disagree and disagree about the future changes. No, it’s kinda tough, you know, the idea of currency in the post-earthly realm and jobs and having to go to work and the idea that…that would be something most people got to choose, right? We chose. I mean, some of us, it’s part of our…this is part of our existence, working in the post-earthly realms, and then we’ll go on to a different post-earthly realm. We're not human. But the idea of the humans…I don't know, it just changes a lot, right? It changes the whole value system that…then you just work.

 

It’s kind of like they had it on Earth. But it’s like…so, then instead of…you understand? No, I don't understand. Well, I mean, my opinion is that the old ways are pretty good. Some of the newer ways that are a little more open-minded are better, but this idea is kinda like taking the stuff from the old ways that I didn’t like…I mean, it’s not eternity, but what if someone had to work somewhere for a very long time and then they were like, oh, well, you've worked off the…what…the poor choices you've made. While you were doing that, you also earned currency that now you can use in the post-earthly realms. Either one of those…and then you may…then you say, well, but what if I don't want to do this job?

 

I’ve been doing it now for a long time and I’d like to explore my other things, but now I’m like, this is part of my routine and I’m used to this…the whole idea…I guess for me, it’s the idea of currency in the post-earthly realms and exchanging…it’s too earthbound, man, and I don't like it, I guess. That’s…so, yeah, I guess building consensus is kinda tough. Okay, well, that’s…I understand what you're saying. But so, if you…so, if you were to sum up why it’s not gonna go through, do you think that’s why? Oh no, no; it’s just that the largest group that’s gonna be at the Photo Booth Rally…you could head over there and check it out. It’ll be a pretty good time.

 

They don’t really care that much either way, but they're against anything…anything they could be against slightly, they’d be against, except that they don’t have a choice whether they have to participate, you know, to be able…they really want to go on the trip. So, it’s like they have to participate in the consensus, which part of the consensus is saying ‘yay’ or ‘nay’. They'd normally say ‘nay’ no matter what, especially if there’s change, 'cause they don’t want things changing, right? Even if it was for the better, they would probably vote ‘nay’. So, that…I think there’s enough…without that, that’s a pretty good chunk of any group, you know? So, they’ll vote. They're gonna vote ‘nay’, and they have a lot of nostalgia for whatever it is, even the stuff that’s not so great. You say, really? You have nostalgia for that?

 

You have brimstone nostalgia? I have trouble…anyway, that’s just my issues. I’m sorry, Simon. Oh, no problem. I was just curious, anyway. So, thanks for filling me in. I guess…well, so, these…what do you think of our costumes? Well, they're…yours looks pretty good. So, what are you? You're velvet paintings? Oh no, we're velvet black-light paintings. Okay, well, it’s missing something. Oh, what do you think I’m missing? Well, I think you should put some goop in your hair because I get that you're kinda like a velvet painting of Elvis, but it doesn't really work. If your hair was neon pink or neon yellow, in my opinion, that would be a great costume. Otherwise it’s just…I mean, I think…Lilith’s I like, because hers is from that rock group with all the posters. But yours, I think…yeah, it needs a little…it needs something.

 

Okay. Do you…? Oh yeah, we’ve got goop here. How about pink goop? It’s gonna be…it won't dry for quite some time, and we…let’s cake it in there. Oh boy, let’s make a pompadour now. Wow, now you really…'cause, see, the ethereal black light, now it really makes your pink pompadour shine. It is shiny and greasy, though, with goop, and I’ve kind of…it’s kind of…it’s…the goop will be self-sustaining ‘til the costume contest. I used some of my powers. Okay, thank you. Yeah, you look great. If I build consensus on that, I’d vote for you to win. I think you might win with that pink. Alright, we're gonna head over to the Photo Booth Rally. Okay, I’ll see you later. Okay, Lilith, let’s…what are we gonna do now? Let’s head over to this Photo Booth Rally, and we're gonna try to find out…oh no, you're gonna go…?

 

Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. You're gonna go…oh, you're gonna stay with these…you're gonna help people make costumes? Okay, I’ll just go by myself. So, that was it, Diane. I headed off to the…to this other rally of people that were gonna vote ‘nay’ on the issue at hand. We…now, the biggest line there was for these photo booths, and…well, I thought there was photo booths. There was only one photo booth, and…but it turns out, Diane, just like last time, I ended up…it wasn’t open yet and I stumbled in, and I was the only…this photo booth makes your costumes, I guess. They said, perfect; we need someone to calibrate the machine, anyway. Now, they were…these were all post-earthly employees or conference attendees. So, I said, oh, you need me to calibrate the machine?

 

They said, yeah, you're already in a costume. We’ll see if this costume fits. Then I said, it kinda fits. Now, the problem with the photo booth with a head full of goop, Diane, is like, my goop got all over the top of the photo booth, those curtains. My goop got everywhere, and because it was some sort of cosmic goop, everybody…I’ll just tell you the spoiler, Diane; everybody who used that photo booth ended up with goop on them, and they weren't happy about it. ‘Cause this booth was supposed to…instead of making your own costume, it made a costume for you, and most of them were pretty…I don't know, they were very…just like ones…mass-market costume equivalent in the post-earthly realm, I’d say, Diane. It didn’t even like my costume. It said that I should have been dressed as…in a sailor’s suit with a lollypop.

 

I said, what is that, the dude from…is that the kid from Crackerjack’s? No one…and everybody looked at me. I said, anybody want a Charleston Chew? They said, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. But so, all these people there, they just wanted to have their costume chosen for them. Out of three…the machine would give them three choices, and I guess these were the kind of costumes if you wanted to feel like you’re in or something…I don't know. Anyway, I guess…I don't know why I’m…well, I know why I’m soured on it, Diane. I kinda asked…I guess everybody wasn’t nice to me after. They said, look at this; I’m like this cool cat now, but I got goop on my collar and my head, and I can't get it out. I said, well, I’m sure the hotel showers have cosmic powers, so you'll be fine later.

 

They said, yeah, but that’s not the point. I gotta go…I might…hopefully I win in the thing, and I’m gonna go trick-or-treating or whatever. I said, well, it’s just goop. In the larger scheme of things…so, that’s kinda I guess why my mood changed, Diane. Basically I had to leave, 'cause all…everybody there was not nice to me because I gooped them. I felt a little bit like…you can't do that on television. So, I headed back, looked for Lilith, and then they said, okay, this is…then the start of the build-up started where everybody was starting to gather in the grand ballroom, or grand ballroom equivalent. This was pretty grand, Diane. It was cosmic.

 

I needed some distance, so there was luckily a second-floor balcony overlooking the main floor which is full of people, a lot of which I recognized because, Diane, the…well, one, I recognized some of the people from the first rally I went to 'cause they recognized me. They said, oh, there…looking good with that pink hair, Simon. I said, thank you. Hubba, hubba, or whatever. But they…oh, because they had black lights…'cause costumes always look better…and they had music playing and stuff. It was very ballroomy; drinks, food, and interesting to kinda see a mix of…it was just a great mix of people in costumes and some of which were not earthly beings in costumes as an honor…it was like, oh boy. But I could tell who was at the last rally I went to because of the black lights on the second floor.

 

I could see them all glowing with pink spots, or their hair was…had a pink spot on it. Then the next thing I know, they're announcing…there’s this big announcer. They say, okay, we're gonna vote soon, but before we vote, who’s headed out? ‘Cause…so, this was the 31st. I didn’t realize it. Then there was a couple other people on the thing. I said, well, what do I expect if we win? They said, it’ll be great because time runs different, and it…so, you're gonna be…you could be trick-or-treating for a long time. It’s gonna feel great. So, everybody’s really excited to hopefully get to participate in this. Then they announced it, and they actually had Lilith there. They said, the winner…where are we headed? This is with our winner. So, I guess they already knew. They said, yeah, this is…where are we headed?

 

Lilith said, Florida, The Towns. Lilith…so, I guess I was realizing what I forgot was that this was Lilith’s dream come true, being a part of this conference. So, for Lilith, it was very exciting. Then they said, by the way, you and your friend won the costume contest, too. People kinda booed because we were already gonna get to go on the trip. She said, give it to the runners up. Yeah, the runners up were a horse, but both…no…like, both rears. So, kinda like a comedy horse where two rears of a horse found each other. Like, when the two people dress as a horse, you know, Diane? But like, the back leg…double back legs of a horse. So, they came in second. So, they got to go. They were happy. Everybody said…was cheering for Florida. Then they started reading off the winners.

 

A lot of that was in, I don't know, these different terms, names that I couldn't quite grasp. But I did start to notice something, Diane. So, a portal opened up, and they would double-check…they’d call your name and then they’d hand you a trick-or-treating bag, then they'd double-check your credentials, and they were telling us…Lilith and…they were like, get down here if you're qualified. But every person that won the lottery, Diane, had pink goop on them. I said, wait a second, everybody that’s winning has pink goop on them, and they went…they started going through the portal, every single person. That’s when I noticed they were looking right at me and they were standing next to Lilith. It had to be Jiff. I had finally found Jiff.

 

Jiff was dressed as a blanket with a name tag that said Blanko, which at first I said, what is that, a cloud? I said, oh…and I just walked up to him 'cause I knew he was standing next to Lilith for a reason. He said…I said, hi, Blanko. Blanko…Blanko? Blanko or Blanko? He said, hi, Simon. I heard you'd been looking for me. I said, yeah, there’s no reason to get Lilith involved, though. He said, no, there’s no reason to get Lilith involved at all. I said, interesting move on the vote. What, do you control the lottery? He said, how’d you figure that out? I said, well, I happened to get my hair…you notice how my hair is pink and goopy?

 

I happened to get my hair goop on everything and…so I could see everybody…I said, you trying to get everybody that is against…people that aren't really interested in participating but participate so they kind of vote against it or whatever? He said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they all won the lottery. This is gonna be too bad. They won't be here. Hopefully we’ll build some consensus for change. I said, well, what do you mean? He said, well, we’ll have one more discussion after this hubbub is done, and because of the changes in time, you'll have plenty of time to build a consensus, but I think I can persuade everyone 'cause I have everything at my behest, and I have a very good understanding of what motivates earthly…earthbound…former earthbound beings and the people that serve them.

 

I said, well, that’s interesting, Jiff, but…I said, I think I have something, an idea. He said, what? I said, let’s step over this portal here before we go anywhere. He said, no, no, no. Then I bumped his…I bumped him with my hair so that…it’s kinda just like hair gel, you know, Diane? But he didn’t…he’s a human, so it got in his eyes. He said, I can't quite, quite see, quite see. I said, Lilith, you gotta help me. So, we pulled him behind the stage. ‘Cause…there was so much hubbub going on, no one was paying attention to the three of us. I said, put your costume on him. ‘Cause he was kind of…he wasn’t very resistant. He was just worried about…it was kinda easy, I guess, Diane. Plus, I know what I’m doing. So, we got him dressed in Lilith’s costume, and I said, excuse my friend here.

 

We went through the portal, I guess is what I’m saying, or we're going through the portal. I guess you take a break…you should go through the portal…so you're rested when you get there. So, yeah, right now we're resting, Diane, but…yeah, so, we're going through the portal, me and Jiff. Jiff’s also…has a black-light poster. But we're gonna get to Florida, and I don't know what happens there. I guess we get matched with retirees or active-lifestyle livers, and we get to go with them while they trick-or-treat. But I just wanted to get…I didn’t feel like it was fair that Jiff would get his way. Also, I think if I can hold onto Jiff, then I’ve finally completed my job as…this case could be closed soon, Diane, though right now we're in the middle of a portal dressed as velvet paintings. So, we’ll see. So, right now I’m gonna rest, Diane, with Jiff here dressed as Lilith dressed as a black-light velvet painting poster. But I’ll talk to you soon. Goodnight, Diane.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

 

Why hot air rises

https://www.noaa.gov/jetstream/upperair/parcel-theory

https://wonderopolis.org/wonder/does-hot-air-always-rise

https://www.wtamu.edu/~cbaird/sq/2014/07/10/what-makes-heat-rise/

 

The Thinker

https://rodinmuseum.org/collection/object/103355

https://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/essay/two-insights-into-auguste-rodins-the-thinker/

https://blogs.library.columbia.edu/outdoorsculpture/2014/06/18/auguste-rodin-and-the-thinker/

 

Fruit by the Foot / Fruit Roll-Ups

https://www.mashed.com/278291/the-untold-truth-of-fruit-by-the-foot/

https://www.thedailymeal.com/eat/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-fruit-foot/

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/507887/little-known-history-fruit-roll-ups

 

Velvet Paintings

https://www.collectorsweekly.com/articles/velvet-underdogs-in-praise-of-the-paintings-the-art-world-loves-to-hate/

https://www.culturaldaily.com/velvet-paintings-tale/

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/velvet-elvis-lives-109222570/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

A little tum tum tumnal

Is there a clicking?

Touching both walls with my elbows

Oh it’s just my headphones that are clicking

Stick around and see how it goes

 

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INTRO

I’m always thinking

Very rarely thinking about the present

Do I mean “cohort” or “cahoots”?

The Cohort in Cahoots

I’m getting mixed up by all these words

I tried so much stuff to help me get to sleep

We can at least agree this things are unpleasant

All of this is optional and indirect anyway

Ideally, you can start flourishing

You might be irritable, I get it

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Just barely listen to me

“I’ve been barely listening to Scoots my whole life”

I’ve been making the show for about 12 years by the time you listen to this

My voice carries off on the hot air

The Sleep With Me Temperature Service

Hot air rises, right?

I have to keep my brain guessing

Variety in every intro

We also have a Story Only podcast feed if you don’t like the intros

Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

We work really hard and we hope this helps

 

STORY

Big Farm in the Sky PI / Get Besos

You really can listen in any order

James and Richie are trying to get Jiff

PI is helping JC and RW find Jiff

A non-clash of the retail industry titans

PI got some help from librarian Lillith

A post-Earthly Florida

Liltih was a classics professor turned librarian

A conference where Jiff is speaking

Different forms of post-Earthly existence

Workers of post-Earthly realms

Lilith knows about this conference!

Lilith wants to go to the conference, too

Goodness gracious I forgot about our Hollywood announcer!

Antonio’s intro

I only forgot about Antonio because I was in the zone

Amidst the chaos of moving, there’s gravitas

It’s like The Thinker but less cold

Antonio soothes my limbic system

PI checking in with an update

A little treat goes a long way

Using treats that are hard to get

Charleston Chew

Whatchamacallit

And Laffy Taffy

Next time I’ll try Fruit by the Foot

Offering a Charleston Chew to a loading dock worker is a surefire way to get into a secure conference

The conference for people working in post-Earthly realms

Some of these workers are beyond my understanding

We literally stumbled into a conference room

This was a pitch room

People in there thought this was part of our act

They don’t realize we’re not here to pitch something

They did consider themselves superior to humans

I had to pitch fast

I’m just a regular mope

Humble Human Braggin’ 2 Me, a talking human podcast

A cat made of smooth marble

Pitching an awesome autumnal event

Where are we going to go for our seasonal celebration?

We don’t want to pull an RW, hardy har har

An autumnal pitch

They want to go on the trick and treat trail

A lottery to get to trick and treat

Pretend I don’t know anything and explain it to me

They’ll get to ride along and experience honest to goodness Casper-treating

The Casper Treat Effect

Remember a time you acquired a large amount of treats

You inevitably get more candy than you can eat

We help you get those extra treats

Ok, so now what’s our pitch?

Improvising a pitch

We pitch…Florida

Pitching The Towns

Trick or Treating as Active Lifestylers

They like this pitch

They get a phone call about a couple real humans on the loose at the conference

There are rallies happening? What are those?

Votes for changes to existence?

Making Jiff a CEO

Introducing currency

Rallies are intended to build consensus

We need to get some costumes

A rally for building consensus through costume-building

Lilith had this idea

We need to “change out of our human costumes”

Everyone wants to go trick or treating

You can’t vote if you get to go trick or treating

The Momentum of Consensus

Jobs and currency in the post-Earthly realm is a tough pitch

Working time in purgatory could earn you currency for post-Earthly realms

That philosophy is too earthbound, man

The largest group at the rally is just against any kind of change

Saying Nay to Change

They have brimstone nostalgia

Costumed as Velvet Blacklight Paintings

We need more goop in our hair

Pink Velvet Blacklight Pompadour

Heading over to the photobooth rally

Lilith is heading somewhere else

PI heads to the rally

Just one photo booth

I stumbled in

This photobooth will make your costume

Calibrating the machine

My cosmic goop got everywhere

Most of the costumes this booth made were like low quality / mass market costumes

It tried to get me to dress like the Cracker Jack mascot

Everyone was upset that I had gooped them through the machine

I had to leave, but I was looking for Lilith

The lottery is about to start

Lilith is up there at the announcement

Lilith announces that the winner is going to The Towns

A dream come true for Lilith

Cheering for Florida

Announcing the winners

I started to notice something

Every person that won the lottery had pink goop in their hair!

I had finally found Jiff

Jiff was dressed as a blanket named Blanko

PI and Jiff finally meet

No reason to get Lilith involved

Jiff secretly controlled the lottery

Jiff rigged the lottery to get rid of his naysayers

He’s trying to implement post-earthly changes

I got pink goop in Jiff’s eyes to stop him

Lilith, help me

Lilith traps Jiff in her costume

We’re gonna all go through the portal together

But we’re gonna take a break first

I don’t know what’ll happen after we go through the portal

If I can hold on to Jiff, maybe this case will close soon

Goodnight, Diane

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1386

Title: Pink Goop Photobooth | Get Besos in the Sky PI 15

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Kindred; Odoo; Uncommon Goods; Lexus

Notable Language:

• Tum Tum Tumnal
• Cohort
• Cahoots
• I’m just a regular mope
• Humble Human Braggin’ 2 Me
• The Trick and Treat Trail
• Casper-treating
• The Casper Treat Effect
• The Momentum of Consensus
• Saying Nay to Change
• Brimstone Nostalgia
• Velvet Blacklight Paintings

 

Notable Culture:

• The Cohort In Cahoots

• • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • The Sleep With Me Temperature Service
  • Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

• Clash of the Titans

• Beetlejuice

• Defending Your Life

• • Antonio Banderas

• The Thinker – Auguste Rodin

• Charleston Chew
• Whatchamacallit candy
• Laffy Taffy
• Fruit by the Foot
• Humble Human Braggin’ 2 Me, a talking human podcast
• The Towns (Active Lifestyle Community)
• Elvis Presley
• Iron Maiden
• Cracker Jack

 

Notable Talking Points:

• I’m always thinking
• Very rarely thinking about the present
• Do I mean “cohort” or “cahoots”?
• The Cohort in Cahoots
• I’m getting mixed up by all these words
• I tried so much stuff to help me get to sleep
• We can at least agree this things are unpleasant
• All of this is optional and indirect anyway
• Ideally, you can start flourishing
• You might be irritable, I get it
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• Just barely listen to me
• “I’ve been barely listening to Scoots my whole life”
• I’ve been making the show for about 12 years by the time you listen to this
• My voice carries off on the hot air
• The Sleep With Me Temperature Service
• Hot air rises, right?
• I have to keep my brain guessing
• Variety in every intro
• We also have a Story Only podcast feed if you don’t like the intros
• Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI
• We work really hard and we hope this helps
• Big Farm in the Sky PI / Get Besos
• You really can listen in any order
• James and Richie are trying to get Jiff
• PI is helping JC and RW find Jiff
• A non-clash of the retail industry titans
• PI got some help from librarian Lillith
• A post-Earthly Florida
• Liltih was a classics professor turned librarian
• A conference where Jiff is speaking
• Different forms of post-Earthly existence
• Workers of post-Earthly realms
• Lilith knows about this conference!
• Lilith wants to go to the conference, too
• Goodness gracious I forgot about our Hollywood announcer!
• Antonio’s intro
• I only forgot about Antonio because I was in the zone
• Amidst the chaos of moving, there’s gravitas
• It’s like The Thinker but less cold
• Antonio soothes my limbic system
• PI checking in with an update
• A little treat goes a long way
• Using treats that are hard to get
• Charleston Chew
• Whatchamacallit
• And Laffy Taffy
• Next time I’ll try Fruit by the Foot
• Offering a Charleston Chew to a loading dock worker is a surefire way to get into a secure conference
• The conference for people working in post-Earthly realms
• Some of these workers are beyond my understanding
• We literally stumbled into a conference room
• This was a pitch room
• People in there thought this was part of our act
• They don’t realize we’re not here to pitch something
• They did consider themselves superior to humans
• I had to pitch fast
• I’m just a regular mope
• Humble Human Braggin’ 2 Me, a talking human podcast
• A cat made of smooth marble
• Pitching an awesome autumnal event
• Where are we going to go for our seasonal celebration?
• We don’t want to pull an RW, hardy har har
• An autumnal pitch
• They want to go on the trick and treat trail
• A lottery to get to trick and treat
• Pretend I don’t know anything and explain it to me
• They’ll get to ride along and experience honest to goodness Casper-treating
• The Casper Treat Effect
• Remember a time you acquired a large amount of treats
• You inevitably get more candy than you can eat
• We help you get those extra treats
• Ok, so now what’s our pitch?
• Improvising a pitch
• We pitch…Florida
• Pitching The Towns
• Trick or Treating as Active Lifestylers
• They like this pitch
• They get a phone call about a couple real humans on the loose at the conference
• There are rallies happening? What are those?
• Votes for changes to existence?
• Making Jiff a CEO
• Introducing currency
• Rallies are intended to build consensus
• We need to get some costumes
• A rally for building consensus through costume-building
• Lilith had this idea
• We need to “change out of our human costumes”
• Everyone wants to go trick or treating
• You can’t vote if you get to go trick or treating
• The Momentum of Consensus
• Jobs and currency in the post-Earthly realm is a tough pitch
• Working time in purgatory could earn you currency for post-Earthly realms
• That philosophy is too earthbound, man
• The largest group at the rally is just against any kind of change
• Saying Nay to Change
• They have brimstone nostalgia
• Costumed as Velvet Blacklight Paintings
• We need more goop in our hair
• Pink Velvet Blacklight Pompadour
• Heading over to the photobooth rally
• Lilith is heading somewhere else
• PI heads to the rally
• Just one photo booth
• I stumbled in
• This photobooth will make your costume
• Calibrating the machine
• My cosmic goop got everywhere
• Most of the costumes this booth made were like low quality / mass market costumes
• It tried to get me to dress like the Cracker Jack mascot
• Everyone was upset that I had gooped them through the machine
• I had to leave, but I was looking for Lilith
• The lottery is about to start
• Lilith is up there at the announcement
• Lilith announces that the winner is going to The Towns
• A dream come true for Lilith
• Cheering for Florida
• Announcing the winners
• I started to notice something
• Every person that won the lottery had pink goop in their hair!
• I had finally found Jiff
• Jiff was dressed as a blanket named Blanko
• PI and Jiff finally meet
• No reason to get Lilith involved
• Jiff secretly controlled the lottery
• Jiff rigged the lottery to get rid of his naysayers
• He’s trying to implement post-earthly changes
• I got pink goop in Jiff’s eyes to stop him
• Lilith, help me
• Lilith traps Jiff in her costume
• We’re gonna all go through the portal together
• But we’re gonna take a break first
• I don’t know what’ll happen after we go through the portal
• If I can hold on to Jiff, maybe this case will close soon
• Goodnight, Diane